My Dad the Rock Star (2003–2004): Season 2, Episode 7 - Saving Sawchuck - full transcript

During a family trip to the beach, a quick thinking Willy saves his nemesis, Buzz, from drowning. Buzz insists on repaying the favor by hanging around Willy 24/7, waiting for his chance to rescue Willy from any life-threatening situations that may arise. However, having Buzz around is quickly messing up Willy's home and social life, so he takes matters into his own hands. It's not until he finally ditches Buzz, that he, along with Quincy and Alissa, finds himself in a position where he desperately needs a helping hand. Meanwhile, Serenity decides to get back at a lifeguard who she thinks only dates other lifeguards, by taking a course to become one herself? just so she can dump him when he finally takes an interest.

♪ It’s so hard ♪

♪ Just to feel normal

♪ When everyone is completely

paranormal ♪

♪ And everything is totally

deranged ♪

♪ And you’re the only one who’s

sane ♪

♪ Sometimes it gets

so unbearable ♪

♪ But mostly I feel



unbelievable ♪

♪ And I’m a freak ’cause my dad

is a rock star ♪

♪ Yeah

♪ My dad is a rock star

♪ That’s it, the party’s over ♪

♪ Turn off the lights,

I’m leaving the stage ♪

♪ I just wanna get

a little more control ♪

♪ So nobody can tell me what to

do ♪

♪ Sometimes it gets

so unbearable ♪



♪ But mostly I feel

unbelievable ♪

♪ And I’m a freak, ’cause my dad

is a rock star ♪

♪ Yeah

♪ My dad is a rock star

♪ Yeah, yeah



Ah-whoo!



(Sighing)

The pool at home is pretty

sweet, but there’s nothing quite

like a quiet day at the beach.

I wonder why nobody told us

about this place sooner.

(Playing guitar)



(Crying)

Oh, anyone else sense a

sudden chilling blast of

negative energy?

Hey, yeah.

Now that you mention it.

No.

Aw, my ice cream sandwich.

I wondered where that went.

Ooooh, that’s refreshing.

I’m off to check out the

scenery.

Nice to see that you’re

finally learning to appreciate

nature, sweetie.

That’s one way to put it.

So, Willy, Lys, you ready to

be impressed by the best?

That depends.

Will you actually be diving

sometime today?

Yo, you can’t rush

perfection, dawg.

We’ll see about that.



(Screaming)

Aw, he lost his balance.

(Laughing)

That’s not all he lost.

(Both laughing)

(Both laughing)



Water wedgie.

Ha, ha, another satisfied

customer.



Hey, if it isn’t Willy Zilla,

zero of the beach.

Looks like lunch will have to

wait.



All the boys around here are

totally beneath me.

Whoa.

(Yawning)

Now that’s more like it.



Ooh, a challenge.





(Barking)

Okay, time to get serious.

(Whimpering)

(Squawking)

Hey, go procure your own

sandwich, you vile winged beast.

Buzz.

Aah, help!

I can’t swim.

Yeah, right.

Nice try, Buzz.

No, wait, I think he’s

serious.

(Buzz sputtering)

(Drum beating)



(Grunting)

Ow.

You-you saved me.

I guess I did.

As much as it pains me to say

this, Zilla, I ow--

I ooo--

I--

I owe you one.

Hmm, if only someone would

give me a hand with my lotion.

Anyone?

What is going on here?

What are you looking at?



Oh, her.

Oh, I get it.

You only date your own kind.

Humph!



ROCK: Skunk, my man.

SKUNK: Hello.

ROCK: Let’s boogie on home.

Had a good time, did we?

Yeah, right.

This beach is totally lame.

I’m never coming back here.

Yes, you too could become a

fully certified lifeguard.

What?

You mean anyone can be a

lifeguard?

Sure, anyone who passes the

course.

Hmm.

I’ll see you guys tomorrow,

okay?

You bet.

Later, Z-Man.



Buzz?

Let me guess, I ever tell anyone

about saving you I’m toast?

Ha, I wish it was that easy,

Zilla.

We Sawchucks don’t take honour

lightly.

I owe you my life and the only

way to repay that debt is to

save your life in return.

(Laughing)

What are you gonna do, hover

over me 24/7 waiting for your

moment?

That is precisely what I had

in mind.

(Rock howling)

ROCK: I’m proud of you,

Willy.

Getting yourself a bodyguard is

a giant leap towards living the

full rocker lifestyle.

My baby is growing up so

fast.

(Groaning)



All clear.

It is safe to proceed.

This is a waste of time.

(Mosh grunting)

(Gasping)

Noooo!

(Willy grunting)

Oh, what are you doing?

That’s Mosh.

He’s family.

Okay, so it was a false

alarm.

This time.

But one of these days the danger

will be real.

Well, I hope it’s soon

because I’m not sure I’ll

survive many more of these

rescue attempts.



WILLY: Buzz?

BUZZ: Yeah?

I can’t see the TV.

You never know how much

harmful radiation this thing

could be giving off.

Really?

So you just saved me, right?

Great, thanks.

Bye.

No such luck, Zilla.

The readings here are well

within the norm.

Oh.

(Yawning)

Well, it’s been a slice, but I

think I’ll hit the sack now.

Can I walk you out?

No, Zilla.

I’ll be staying here until I

even the score.

What?

Uh, in that case there’s a

safety risk, uh, you should

probably check out for me.

Really?

I don’t see anything.

(Door slamming)

(Laughing)

Welcome to the official

lifeguard certification course.

Hi, sorry I’m late.

My hair took forever to dry.

You’re just in time for the

first test: speed swimming.

To qualify, you need to swim 440

yards in 10 minutes or less.

You mean I have to get my

hair wet again?

(Whistle blowing)



Humph!

Incredible.

Where’d you learn to swim like

that?

When you live in a hotel most

your life you tend to spend a

lot of time at the pool.



(Yawning)

(Laughing)

I knew he’d get bored and go

home eventually.

(Screaming)

No way.

Morning, Willy.

Look who I found patrolling the

grounds last night.

And you let him in?

Well, sure.

I mean, what good is a bodyguard

if he doesn’t have a body to,

you know, guard?

Dad, I already told you he’s

not my bodyguard.

Oh, yeah, right.

I gotcha.

Your secret’s safe with me.

You might as well face it,

Zilla.

You’re stuck with me.



So how does it feel to have

Buzz looking out for you?

Awful.

I can’t even blow my nose

without him checking it first.

Is this seat taken?

(Groaning)

I don’t suppose you’d

consider sitting at another

table?

Forget it.

I’m not letting you out of my

sight.

(Gasping)

I forgot my sprinkles.

Save my seat.

I can’t take much more of

this.

We’ve gotta find a way for Buzz

to save my life while I still

have a life worth saving.



(Screaming)

(Gasping)

Oh, no!

Buzz!

Save me!

Hang on, Zilla, I’ve got you!

(Screaming)

So did it work?

(Buzz groaning)

No.

Let’s go to Plan B.

Here they come.

You could have told me that

the brake was on the back.

Wet cement?

Ha, ha, don’t mind if I do.

Uh-oh, I’m stuck.

(Both grunting)

Aah, Buzz, I’ll be squashed!

Don’t worry, I’ll save you.

Huh?

(Grunting)

(Gasping)

Hey.

Oh, it’s all becoming crystal

clear.

This was all a setup, wasn’t it?

I guess we better split.



Wait, Zilla, help me...save

you.

Remember, emergency first

aid is an essential part of the

lifeguard certification process.

Treat your volunteer exactly

as you would a real accident

victim.

(Gasping)

Serenity, those bandages are

wrapped to perfection.

And the colour combination is

simply divine.

(Clearing throat)

I, uh, look forward to seeing

how you do at the next

challenge.

The object of the board rescue

is to swim out to the victim,

strap him securely to your

board, and return to shore as

quickly as possible.

Understand?

Ha, and I thought this was

gonna be a challenge.

(Blowing whistle)



(Grunting)

Help!

Wow, you saved Harvey’s life

and made the best time yet.

I would have been back sooner

if I hadn’t hit a snag.

First rule of accessorizing:

diamonds are a girl’s best

friend.

Hold still, mate.

Almost got her.

Great job out there, Agent

Buzz.

Yeah, that’s the trouble with

being a bodyguard.

You have to put yourself in the

line of fire each and every day.

There we are.

Good as new.

Phew, I was worried I’d never

make a fist again.



Hey, Serenity!

Well, aren’t you gonna introduce

us to your new boyfriend?

Pleased to meet you.

Oh, relaxed sort of dude, huh?

Very funny, Daddy.

It’s a CPR practice doll.

I have to work on my

mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Ah, mouth to what now?

Gotta run, Daddy.

I’ve got to study.

Hello, check, check?

The feedback must be affecting

my hearing.

Did our daughter just say she

needed to study?

Who was that and what has she

done with our daughter?

Oh.



(Yawning)

Rise and shine, Zilla.

Huh?

That little weasel.

You can flee, Zilla, but you

can’t elude me forever.

I’ll save your life if I have

to destroy you to do it.

Okay, it’s time for the CPR

test.

Serenity, you’re up first.

Ready?

Oh, please.

I’m gonna ace this.

But I’ll need a new practice

doll.

The one I had went missing.

Don’t ask.

Actually, for the CPR test

we use live people.

You mean I have to lock lips

with-with that?

This is great.

Finally I can relax without Buzz

breathing down my neck.

(Gasping)

ALYSSA: Look!

Let’s get out of here.



Come on.

(Grunting)

Whoa!

(Groaning)

ALYSSA: Great, the wrecking

yard.

Just where I wanted to spend my

Saturday.

I don’t like this place, yo.

It’s spooky.

Let’s get out of here.



(Growling nearby)

Quincy, please tell me that

was your stomach.

(Both growling)

Okay, guys, don’t panic.

On the count of three, slowly

continue walking.

(All screaming)



(Yelling)

Well, the good news is the dogs

can’t get us in here.

Unfortunately, the bad news

is we can’t get out.

Where’s Buzz when I need him?



(Dogs growling)

Man, it’s been hours.

Don’t those dogs have anything

better to do?

Something tells me they

don’t get out much.

Hey, maybe Buzz already

figured out where we are and is

rushing to our rescue even as

we speak.

Hmm.

Guys, look, they’re tiring

out.

Oh, man, they sleep in

shifts?

That settles it, we’re done for.

I’m hungry and thirsty and I

have to take a--

Whoa, too much information.

We can’t give up.

But if we’re gonna get out of

here in one piece, we’re gonna

need a plan.



Everything okay, Serenity?

Of course.

Why?

You’ve been frozen like that

for almost an hour.

I’m just preparing myself,

you know, mentally.

Ugh, I can’t do it.

You mean you’re just gonna

throw in the towel?

No, I brought this towel with

me.

I’m quitting.

Pucker up, loser.

I’m about to make you popular.

(Panting)

I give up.

Willy is probably miles away by

now.

(Grunting)

Hmm, either this tree bears some

mighty strange fruit or the

trail is hot once more.

(Sniffing)

Surely I can spare a few minutes

for a snack.

No, time is of the essence.

I know what I must do.

I’ll take four frankfurters

with the works, my good man.

(Cawing)

WILLY: Okay, let’s go over

this again.

This piece of chewing gum is

you, Q.

And this pebble is a dog.

Huh?

I-I thought I was the knob from

the radio.

No, that’s me, remember?

Can we please focus here?

One last time: Quince, you’re

here.

Dude, I need a better angle.

Huh?

No way.

Well, well.

Isn’t this a heartfelt reunion.

But how’d you get past the

dogs?

Wow, rescued by Buzz or

mauled by dogs.

Hard to decide what’s worse.

Yo, how’d you find us?

Does this answer your query?

Hey!

Oh, man.

(Dogs growling)

It’s cool, it’s cool.

Bon appétit.



See this?

I’m a fully certified lifeguard

now.

So isn’t there something you

wanna ask me?

What, still nothing?

How can I flat-out reject you if

you don’t even ask me out in the

first place?

It’s not fair.

You’re ruining my whole revenge.

You’re asleep?

That’s why you didn’t notice me?

Oh, hey, there.

(Growling)

Serenity, wait.

Would you be interested in a

part-time junior lifeguard

position?

You mean...a...job?

And that would benefit me how?

Oh, that’s how.

I’ll do it.

Great.

How does minimum wage sound?

I’ll have my daddy cut you a

cheque.

(Trumpet playing)

(Gasping)

Willy, you got company!

Oh, no.

No more.

Come on, Buzz, you already saved

me.

We’re even.

Even?

Ha, math must not be your strong

suit, Zilla.

I don’t follow.

I owed you one save, but

then I rescued three dweebs.

So now...

Are you saying that now I owe

you?

What?

You mean Willy is your bodyguard

now?

Wow, I did not see that coming.

Karma works in mysterious

ways.

I have an idea how I can

repay you, Buzz.

Something that will prevent a

repeat performance.

You’ve piqued my curiosity.

Continue.

I can’t believe my shift

starts at 5:30 in the morning.

This is so not how I pictured

it.

Well, if I’m gonna teach Buzz

here how to swim, it’s best that

there be a lifeguard on duty,

even if it is you.

Let’s get this humiliating

sham over with before anyone

sees us.

I sure hope you’re a quick

study.

As soon as I learn how to

doggy paddle, I’m going back to

paddling you.

You got that, Zilla?

Yeah, right, Buzz.

(Buzz yelling)

(Laughing)