My Dad the Rock Star (2003–2004): Season 1, Episode 9 - Psychic Convention - full transcript

Willy is faced with having to pass a crucial math test that will determine whether he has to go to a ?summer school? self-guided class that has just one other student, his nemesis, Buzz. Just as Willy tries to settle down and study, events conspire against him when Crystal insists on taking the family to psychic fair.

♪ It’s so hard ♪

♪ Just to feel normal

♪ When everyone is completely

paranormal ♪

♪ And everything is totally

deranged ♪

♪ And you’re the only one who’s

sane ♪

♪ Sometimes it gets

so unbearable ♪

♪ But mostly I feel



unbelievable ♪

♪ And I’m a freak ’cause my dad

is a rock star ♪

♪ Yeah

♪ My dad is a rock star

♪ That’s it, the party’s over ♪

♪ Turn off the lights, I’m

leaving the stage ♪

♪ I just wanna get

a little more control ♪

♪ So nobody can tell me what to

do ♪

♪ Sometimes it gets

so unbearable ♪



♪ But mostly I feel

unbelievable ♪

♪ And I’m a freak, ’cause my dad

is a rock star ♪

♪ Yeah

♪ My dad is a rock star

♪ Yeah, yeah



Ah-whoo!



(Cat meowing)

(Dog barking)

Mosh!

(Dog barking, cat meowing)

(Owl hooting)

(Raccoons squeaking)

(Crunching)

I was a happy guy before they

introduced me to integers and

negative numbers.

Yeah, we’re never gonna use

this!

It’s so when you grow up,

you’ll be able to figure out

your pay cheque.

Willy, can I borrow your

calculator?

I don’t know where it is.

I haven’t been able to find it.

Oh, man!

How we gonna get our freak on

without a calculator?

Simple question.

’Cause we gotta pass this exam.

Otherwise you end up in the

remedial summer math program.

I hear it works on the buddy

system; you pair up with someone

else to tutor each other.

Yeah, but there’s only one

other student in that class:

Buzz.

C’mon in, Zilla.

I was just preparing your

lessonfor today.

(Laughing)

(Gasping)

Rock and Roll!

Dad, we’re trying to study.

Our big math exam is next

week.

Math, eh?

They still do that in school?

Yeah, unfortunately.

I remember math.

Couldn’t pass a test if my life

depended on it.

Numbers made no sense to me.

Have you seen my calculator?

Nope, never touch ’em.

How’s the study team?

Okay, I guess.

I’ve got some exciting news

for you, Willy.

The annual psychic fair starts

tomorrow!

It does?

Yes!

And there’s someone I want you

to meet.

Madame Persenchia.

She’s a famous psychic I went to

years ago.

She predicted that I would meet

your father, and we’d get

married!

Do I have to go?

Well, of course.

I want her to see just how

totally accurate her predictions

were.

Now, here’s some organic rice

cakes and carrot cookies.

(Dog barking)

(Cat meowing)

(Garbage can falling)

(Raccoons hissing)

(Dog barking)

(Cat meowing)

It’s her!

Madame Persenchia.

She’s a very famous psychic.

She works with police

departments and intelligence

agencies all over the world.

She sure isn’t working with

the fashion industry.

Hi, probably don’t remember

me.

Of course I do.

I can see your marriage has

worked out very well.

Yes, it has!

Amazing, how you knew that.

You have three lovely

children.

Two lovely children.

Actually, this one’s my husband.

I’d love it if you would do a

reading for my children,

Serenity, and Willy.

Certainly!

Come, Serenity.

(Gasping)

Our daughter’s first reading!

She said I would find a

gorgeous guy to go to the prom

with.

Oh, isn’t she wonderful?

Your turn.

So, Willy Zilla, you want to

know the future?

No, actually, but thanks

anyway.

Nice meeting you.

(Laughing)

First, you will lose

something close to you.

You will find something you

thought lost.

Huh?

You will fail at something

very important, but that won’t

matter, because...

Yes, the joker.

It says you will grow up to be

just like your dad, so there’s

nothing to worry about.

Um, can’t we try a different

card?

Silence!

The future has spoken.

Okay, we’re done.

Ugh, it’s time for my break.

Ahhh!

Mom, it’s you.

Of course it is, dear.

Well, how did it go?

It was very...stimulating.

Oh, I knew you’d love her.

While you were with Madame

Persenchia, I bought you this

amulet.

It’s for good luck.

Heh-heh, yeah, great.

Mosh?

Where are you, boy?

First, you will lose

something close to you.

I’ve lost Mosh!

Okay, no need to panic.

Mosh, are you out here?

Willy Zilla?

Look at this.

And this.

And this.

Your reptile monster did this.

He’s probably devoured both my

babies.

Mosh wouldn’t do that.

He has!

And now my babies are gone!

But, he’ll pay, see?

I called City Animal Control.

Lizard!

You’re gonna make me one fine,

new pair of boots.

No, Mosh!

C’mon, buddy, where are you?

What?

My calculator.

You will find something you

thought lost.



ROCK: Well, we’ve searched

the entire neighbourhood.

Where could he have gone?

It’s so unlike Mosh to

disappear all of a sudden like

that.

I know.

I’ve seen garden gnomes that

move faster than him.

We’re not gonna find Mosh any

faster by me looking horrible

tomorrow from lack of sleep.

I’m going to bed.

That’s a good idea.

Tomorrow, after we’ve had some

rest, we can search the rest of

the town ’til we find him.

How does that sound?

Okay, I guess.



Nooo!

Justice for my babies!

Justice for my babies!

♪ You’re gonna be just like your

dad ♪

♪ When the math test comes,

you’re gonna do bad ♪

♪ And, I don’t mean bad in a

funky way ♪

♪ I mean bad in a school flunky

way ♪

(Gasping)

Whoa, it’s okay!

I know how hard it is to get up

before noon.

You’re just like I was at your

age.

Actually, I’m still that way.

Dad, do you believe in fate?

Whoa, fate?

How about giving a guy a chance

to have his morning coffee?

Fate!

Gah!

In local news, a dangerous

reptile is loose on the

streets.

Sources say, the ferocious

carnivore was kept as a pet, by

the eccentric and irresponsible

Zilla family.

According to sketches produced

by a police artist, the

creature looks something like

this.

Anyone who encounters the 300

pound, flesh-eating monster,

should not attempt to apprehend

it, but instead try to run

faster than whoever is standing

next to them, and call police

if you somehow manage to

escape.

And now, and eye witness report

from one of the Zilla’s

neighbours.

Mr.Kant, could this monster

reptile be responsible for

destroying local gardens and

vandalizing neighbourhood

garbage?

There is no doubt in my mind

whatsoever.

Mosh would never do that.

We had him spayed...and

neutered.

Residents are now looking to

this man to capture the vile

serpent: Dirk Duns, of Animal

Control.

That low-life lizard can run,

but he can’t hide.

(Laughing)

I’m gonna get him!

A question about the reptile

monster that is terrorizing the

city: Is it true that it’s lair,

or stink hole, if you will, is

in your home?

Mosh is not a monster, and he

would never hurt anything.

Okay, not hurt, but how about

kill?

The lad has no comment, got

it?

(Microphone feedback)

You shouldn’t talk to those

guys.

But, they think Mosh is a

horrible monster.

They don’t care what he is,

they just want a story.

Now, don’t you worry.

You go to school, and leave it

to ol’ Skunk.

I’ll find him.

You think you’ll be able to?

You kidding?

I have a perfect record of never

having lost anybody on the road,

ever.

(Dog barking)

(Cat Meowing)

I’m telling you, Willy, it’s

just a coincidence.

Mosh running away, the

calculator, it has nothing to do

with this psychic.

No, man, it does!

it’s voodoo.

And I think that amulet’s

cursed.

But, it’s supposed to be for

good luck.

Really?

You been having any good luck

lately, bro?

Don’t listen to him.

♪ The witchy woman hexed his

butt ♪

Quincy, put a sock in it.

Lose something, find

something, her so-called

"predictions" are so vague, they

could mean anything.

You’re the one that gives them

importance by reading all this

stuff into it.

What about the amulet?

You’re just stressed about

the math exam.

Maybe.

She also said I was going to

fail at something very

important.

So, now you think you’re

gonna fail the math exam.

(Bell ringing)

You better pull yourself up,

or you’re goin’ down, bro.

No way.

We’ll study together this

afternoon after lunch, and

tonight we’ll find Mosh, okay?

If I can stay awake.

Thanks, Alyssa.

Sorry for the digs, Willy.

That’s okay, Quincy.

(Dog barking)

(Cat meowing)

How did this get in here?

That thing is really starting

to freak me out.

Nice doll, William.

What is it, the patron saint of

doofuses?

Hey, give that back to him.

Why?

Willy is weird enough without

playing with dollies.

Think of this as a public

service.

You’d better be careful,

Buzz, that thing is cursed.

You’re gonna have to do

better than that, Zilla.

Enjoy it, sucker.

(Gasping)

Mosh?

Mosh?

Shhh, what are you trying to

do, rouse the whole

neighbourhood?

Sorry.

Strange as it sounds, I wasn’t

expecting to find you under a

boat.

Hey, you’ve gotta think

outside the box.

Anyway, look what I found.

Mosh isn’t in there, is he?

Mosh?

(Helicoptor blades whirring)

Oh, right, Mosh.

No, he’s not.

Mosh!

Mosh!

Here, boy!

Hey, it’s Rock!

And he’s in his old tour

whirlygig.

Hey, my voice sounds cool

through this, huh?

(Tools clanking)

Oh, yeah!

It’s all over, now.

(Gasping)

Come to poppa!

(Water spraying)

Huh?

(Groaning)

(Laughing)

And now, for my remedial math

summer collection.

Buzz is looking hot in the

latest Mosh skin jacket and

ball cap ensemble, perfect

attire for pummelling the only

other student who failed math

this year.

And Dirk Dun struts his stuff

in a Mosh skin hat and vest

combination, accessorised with

a Mosh skin belt and short

shorts.

Dynamite.

I’d like to thank the person

who made this collection

possible, Madame Persenchia.

(Camera shutters clicking)

(Laughing)

Ahh!

(Dog barking)

(Cat meowing)

(Raccoons growling)

(Snoring)

Dang!

This is not doing anything for

my rep.

Hey, baby, where you going?

(Yawning)

Hey, aren’t you sleeping at

all?

I’ve been grabbing a few

winks between nightmares.

You’re gonna end up blowing

the math exam.

I know!

But, I heard on the news that

Animal Control is trying a new

search technique that has

guaranteed results.

Really?

So, we have to find Mosh

tonight, or he’s done for.

See, what you saw isn’t

really what you saw, see?

Hey!

We’re there.

Alyssa, you cover the area

from the school to the railway

tracks.

Quincy, you take from my street

to the park, and I’ll go up the

middle to the ravine.

Good luck!

(Animals whimpering)



(Cat squealing)

Ha-ha-ha, never had a human

lady in my truck, before.

Really, well, you don’t have

to be a psychic to figure that

one out.

Now, you just lead me to him,

and I’ll get him with this stun

gun.

(Zapping)

Oops.

Guess I overcharged it just a

bit.

Accidentally, of course.

This way!

Mosh...

Come out, come out, whatever you

are.

Yo Mosh!

Be proud, gimme a big shout out.

Mosh, it’s time to come home

now, pal.

Mosh!

Mosh, here boy!

So, you are here after all.



Mosh!

Mosh, I found you, you’re safe!

Madame Persenchia was wrong!

I can smell you, you rotten

reptile.

Come to papa.

(Scuffling)

Let me go, or I’ll put an end

to ya!

(Laughing)

This way!

You can run, but you can’t

hide.

(Screaming)

(Raccoons growling)

At last, thanks to the

psychic powers of Madame

Persenchia, the beasts who

terrified this city have been

caught.

Did you know all along it was

raccoons, and not the lizard?

Yes, I said right at the

beginning, and that I believed

some kind of thing was

responsible.

And here, once again, the facts

have proven me to be 100%

accurate.

Any sign of the pets that had

been stolen from one local

resident?

Unfortunately, no.

I’m not getting a strong enough

reading on them, so, as to

whether they’ll be found or not,

I’d say it’s about a 50/50

chance.

50/50.

Another roving eye,

up-to-the-minute news

exclusive.

(Gasping)

My babies!

You’ve come home!

Well, look at their fur; they’re

a mess.

I’ll take them to the salon, and

send you the bill.

That’s just his way of saying

thanks.

(Sighing)

Okay, what’s the square root

of 121?

11.

Check.

3 to the 12th power plus 12 take

away 7?

41.

Correct.

-2.

36.5.

The train is traveling at 180

km/h.

I believe he’s ready.

(Snoring)

That last question was

killer.

Yeah, I didn’t get it at all.

6.

The answer was 6?

How do you know?

You had to the equations

inside the brackets, first.

I guess it goes to show that

psychic didn’t have all the

answers, after all.

She was right about one

thing, though.

What’s that?

You did turn out just like

your dad.

I did?

Yeah!

Successful.

Hey, what is the idea giving

me that freaky witch souvenir?

Things have been all messed up

since I got that magic head.

Look at my punching arm.

Ow!

Ugh!

It’s doing this to me!

This is your fault, Zilla.

Buzz, it’s just a piece of

carved wood.

So, now you think I’m crazy?

I will show you--

Ahem.

See what I mean?

My life is ruined.

I didn’t even know he had

one.

(Laughing)

Hey, this thing was good

luck, after all.

Mosh.

Mosh, boy, c’mon fella.

Here, boy.

Moshy!