My Dad the Rock Star (2003–2004): Season 1, Episode 10 - Call of the Wild - full transcript

When Willy asks to sign up for a camping trip with Quincy and Alissa, Rock and Crystal decide it would be a great opportunity to spend quality time with their son if they organized a trip for Willy and his pals instead.

♪ It’s so hard just to feel

normal ♪

♪ When everyone is

completely paranormal ♪

♪ And everything is totally

deranged ♪

♪ And you’re the only one who

sings ♪

♪ Sometimes it gets so

unbearable ♪

♪ But mostly I feel



unbelievable ♪

♪ And I’m a freak ’cause my dad

is a rock star, yeah ♪

♪ My dad is a rock star

♪ That’s it, the party’s over ♪

♪ Turn off the lights, I’m

leaving the stage ♪

♪ I just want to get a little

more control ♪

So nobody can tell me what to

do ♪

♪ Sometimes it gets so

unbearable ♪

♪ But mostly I feel



unbelievable ♪

♪ And I’m a freak ’cause my dad

is a rock star, yeah ♪

♪ My dad is a rock star

♪ Yeah, yeah

Ah-whoo!



WILLY: It’s perfect!

A whole weekend on our own in

the great outdoors.

Want to go for it?

Totally, we can sign up for

canoeing and kayaking over

there.

Come on!

Yo, hold up!

You actually want to go on this

wilderness trip?

I mean, camping’s kind of wack!

Get real, Quincy.

You used to be a Junior Marmot.

I promise to converse the

forest, protect wildlife, and

burrow whenever possible.

You promised to keep that on the

QT, yo.

Your secret’s safe, Q.

Besides, I’ve always wanted to

go camping, but never had the

chance before.

(Screaming)

My dad may be rough around the

edges, but he’s definitely not

into roughing it.

ROCK: A camping trip?

Ah-whoo!

Sounds rocking!

So when do we leave?

Dad, the "we" is supposed to

be Quincy, Alyssa, and me.

It’s a camping trip organized

for kids and not their parents.

Hey, hey, hey!

Let’s organize our own camping

trip instead.

I’ll show you and your friends

how to camp the Rock Zilla way.

Ah-whoo!

I don’t know, Dad.

This trip is run by

professionals.

"Professionals," ha!

Who better to take you rock

climbing than Rock Zilla

himself?

Ah-whoo!

Your dad’s right, Willy.

We can spend some real quality

Zilla time together.

Bonding in the realm of the

Earth Mother.

Ooh, I’ll go get my moonstones!

Let me guess, you didn’t get

voted "Nerd of the Week"?

You really don’t have to go

to all the trouble, Dad.

No trouble at all, my man.

I’d love to go on a father-son

camping trip.

Or a father-son-daughter-mother-

friend-roadie-extremely large

lizard trip, for that matter!

Whoa, you can count me out of

that nut mix cause there’s no

way I’m going camping.

Do you even know anything

about camping?

Are you kidding?

My groupies used to camp out in

droves at my concerts.

And with the way I breathe fire

onstage, I was always a monster

hit at the weenie roast!

Well, better get packing...

QUINCY: Dude, your parents

want to do what?

Willy, your family’s great

and all, but I cannot see them

camping.

There’s no elevator, no TV, no

room service, no room--

I know, but they’ve already

made up their minds.

ALYSSA: Well, at least we’ll

be getting out of Silent

Springs.

Yeah!

I guess I’ll finally get to

enjoy the simple things in life.

Leave behind the mansion, the

home theatre, bowling alley, the

pool--

SERENITY: Get this, my

parents are going out of town

for the week, and I’m going to

have the whole mansion to

myself!

Including the home theatre, the

bowling alley, the pool...

(Whistling)

Hi, guys.

Where’s your stuff, Q?

This is it, bro.

Nature will provide me with

everything I need.

You didn’t even bring a

bathing suit?

Don’t need it.

I’m going au natural.

Ugh!

Then I hope you’re bringing your

own lake, cause you’re

definitely not using ours!

Don’t worry, Mom, I’ll be

fine on my own.

Please, go, and have a good

time!

Alright, sweetie, but try not

to make a mess, and don’t forget

to water the plants.

See you tomorrow night!

(Kissing noises)

Bye!

Finally!

I thought they’d never leave!

Just think.

Tonight, we’ll be sleeping out

under the stars.

What could be taking your

parents so long?

I don’t know.

They promised to pack light.

(Gasping)

(Brakes screeching)

ROCK: Are we ready to rock or

are we ready to roll?

Let me hear it now, the call of

the wild.

Ah-whoo!

(TV sound effects)

(Hissing)

It’s such a beautiful day,

kids.

It’d be a crying shame to spend

it cooped up inside watching

TV.

Why don’t you head to the roof

to get some fresh air and watch

the even bigger TV up there!

We’re okay, but thanks,

Mr. Zilla.

No problemo!

Well, don’t know about you, but

I’m going to catch some rays.

(Zapping)

How about this, then?

Too tame.

Too lame.

Too, uh, what else rhymes with

"tame" and "lame"?

Ahh!

I guess we’re here.

(Birds cawing)

Look at this place, it’s, it’s--

It’s perfect!

(Birds cawing)

(Sighing)

I feel at one with nature

already!

WILLY: I don’t know if this

is such a great spot for a

campsite, Mom.

You don’t think so?

Well, here, let me double-check.

(Bones cracking)

I’m absolutely certain that this

spot has more positive energy

than anywhere within a ten mile

radius.

Okay, Mom, if you’re sure,

but Q, Alyssa, and I are going

to set up our camp over there.

(Dance music)

SERENITY: It is so nice not

having Mom, Dad, and that little

ankle-biter around.

Nothing like an avocado

face-mask.

Mom, can I get something to

eat?

I’m starving!

Mom?

Oh, yeah!

Ugh!

I hate guacamole!

Which way to the kitchen again?

That should do it.

Nice job, amigos.

Now, are we going to go for a

dip or what?

Last one in the lake has to

help my dad with his wetsuit!

Oh!

(Screaming)

(Splashing)

QUINCY: Whoa!

(Laughing)

(Footsteps approaching)

Kids?

Kids?

(Panting)

ROCK: Heads up, pedestrians!

Woo-hoo!

(Screaming)

Can’t stop!

Unbearable!

Pain!

Ooh, that’s going to leave a

mark.

What’s taking you kids so long?

(Laughing)

(Screaming)

Ah, home, sweet motor-home.

I can’t wait to get inside and

sink into a soothing mud bath.

(Rumbling)

(Screaming)

No!

How am I going to take my mud

bath?

I think that energy mom felt

before was actually gravity

coming from the middle of that

sink hole.

You know, I think I’m, uh,

I’m suddenly getting much more

positive vibes from that Happy

Holiday hotel we passed along

the way.

Honey, you’re forgetting the

"Burning Tongue Tour" of ’79?

Ah-whoo!

So, when’s check-out time again?

Now, huh?

Okay, that works for me.

That was actually one of the

nicer places that banned us for

life.

(Sobbing)

Right-o, then.

Guess I’ll be off and try to

find us a lift home.

Good idea, Skunk.

In the meantime, Mom and Dad,

you’ll just have to come stay in

our camp.

Does your camp have an indoor

racquetball court?

Sorry, Dad, you’ll just have

to get by without it.

Now, come on, we have a lot of

work to do.

Where’s the fun in camping if

you have to sleep out in a tent?

WILLY: Mom, you’re in charge

of water.

You guys take care of the

cooler.

Dad, we’ll collect the firewood.

Let’s go!

(Grunting)

There, that should keep it

safe from any potential

predators.

Yo, including Willy’s dad!

(Growling)

SERENITY: Finally!

Who put the kitchen next to the

dining room anyway?

How hard can soup be?

Oh, good, it’s almost ready.

(Explosion)

ROCK: Don’t mean to rock the

boat, but fishing is boring!

Time to abandon dinghy and take

a dip!

Ah!

Crabs, again!

What do you know?

Fish can live in your pants.

I owe Zeppelin an apology.

(Banjo playing)

SKUNK: What’s all this, then?

Uh, pardon me, gentlemen?

Hey!

You know what we does to

strangers around these parts?

(Pig squealing)

Uh...

(Gulping)

We throw them a party!

Yee-haw!

(Banjo playing)

Yee-haw!

Woo-hoo!

Oh, well, thanks, mates, but

I best be off now.

Party ain’t over.

(Shuddering)

WILLY: Okay, we’ll need a

campfire, Dad.

So you’ll need to rub two sticks

together like this, until the

friction causes a spark.

Uh, Dad?

Hello, flash pots!

Why bother with the real thing

when there’s stage props to do

it for you?

Ah-whoo!

Fire in the hole!

(Explosion)

No, thanks.

I had an uncle who was

reincarnated as a fish.

I just can’t take that chance.

No beer batter?

No fries?

Cole slaw?

What are we, savages?

I’m going to starve!

Relax, Dad, we’ve still got

marshmallows.

Oh, sweet cubes of sugary

goodness.

You’ve saved the day yet again!

Okay, so who wanted boring

old toast, anyway?

Hmm, I couldn’t possibly screw

up a simple smoothie.

(Explosion)

(Groaning)

(Electrical surging)

Next time, I am so going

camping!

WILLY: Isn’t this great?

Yeah, but something’s

missing.

You can’t have a campfire

without campfire songs!

♪ The other day, I met a bear

♪ A great big bear

♪ A great big bear

♪ Away up there

♪ Away up there

♪ The other day I met a bear

♪ A great big bear

♪ Way up there

(Growling)

(Punching)

Ow!

Well, that’s got to be the worst

of it.

It’ll be a breeze from here on

in.

(Thunder rumbling)

I wish we still had the motor

home.

Hey, I’ve still got the keys!

(Doorbell ringing)

Saved!

I am so out of here!

(Gasping)

(Doorbell ringing)

Like, I thought she wanted us

to meet her here.

Coming!

I guess she took off without

us.

That is, like, so Serenity!

(Yelling)

I can’t believe Mom and Dad

insisted I stay home alone!

(Snoring)

(Wolf howling)

What?

Hey, did you hear that, Willy?

One of my fans!

We’re rescued!

(Growling)

(Screaming)

Uh, that was a real wolf,

Dad.

Oh, right, I knew that.

Morning, kids, another

beautiful day.

Nice hat, Dad.

Oh, thanks.

Huh?

(Screaming)

Get it off, get it off!

CRYSTAL: Willy, honey, we’re

just going to go for a quick

walk to see if we can find some

berries for breakfast.

And the little boys’ room!

Okay, but don’t pick any

berries you don’t recognize.

And watch out for poison ivy.

It’s got shiny green leaves that

come in threes.

Don’t worry, sweetie,

everything gives off karma.

I’ll be able to sense its

negative vibes from a mile away!

They’re doomed.

Oh, yeah!

(Dripping)

(Screaming)

(Gasping)

(Crashing)

(Animals chattering)

This cannot be happening to

me!

Mr. Skunk, I’m having the worst

day.

Is there anything I can say that

will convince you not...

to spray me?

(Phone ringing)

Hello?

Hello?

Anyone?

(Groaning)

I’m so alone in here, in this

big, empty mansion.

If I live through this, I’m

never letting Mom and Dad out

of my sight ever again!

(Muttering)

WILLY: Stop fidgeting, Dad.

This calamine lotion will cut

down on the itching.

Oh, but it’s pink!

Rock stars never wear pink!

Alice never wore pink.

Not even Pink Floyd wore pink!

I thought you ere going to

stay away from the poison ivy.

That was poison ivy back

there?

I guess I shouldn’t have used

it as toilet paper!

(Engine roaring)

(Banjo playing)

Hey, Skunk, nice going, you got

us a ride.

I sure did!

Lucky for me, these fine chaps

here were Rock Zilla fans!

Who’s that there pink feller?

Why, it’s Rock Zilla!

(Gasping)

I may not got taste, but I

still got eyes, and that ain’t

no Rock Zilla.

(Cheering)

That’s him, all right!

Join our band!

Finally, on the road to--

(Groaning)

recovery.

I can’t believe it’s time to

go home already.

We were having such a great

time!

Yeah, that was awesome!

(Engine rumbling)

QUINCY: Thanks, Mr. and Mrs.

Zilla, that was off the hook!

ALYSSA: Thanks for the lift.

See you, Willy!

(Shuddering)

WILLY: Bye!

SKUNK: Bye!

That was certainly an

enlightening experience.

But it sure is nice to be

back home.

(Crashing)

ROCK: Hmm, something looks

different.

(Animals chattering)

(Sniffing)

Whoa, that must have been some

party.

I’m almost sorry I missed it.

All I asked was that she kept

the house clean and water the

plants.

Well, I’d say the plants are

definitely watered.

(Yawning)

SKUNK: Alone at last.

(Door knocking)

(Gasping)

Oh, who could it be at this

hour?

What’s going on here?

Can we crash here for the

night?

But I thought you couldn’t

wait to be home?

That was before we knew the

house was cold, wet, and

infested with rodents.

Of course.

Serenity.

WILLY: This is nice.

Kind of feels like camping out,

doesn’t it?

(All groaning)

(Sniffing)

SERENITY: Hey!