My Babysitter's a Vampire (2011–2012): Season 2, Episode 9 - Siren Song - full transcript
Ethan and Benny discover that a local singing sensation may have a voice like an angel, but in reality she's a Siren - a mythical creature whose song brings out the self-destructive worst ...
[*]
[phone rings]
I almost caught this spoon.
Phone.
Hello.
Yo, E-dog!
You've got 20 minutes
before MC MonsterBat
drops the beats from
the streets and-
schools these fools!
Who is it?
MC MonsterBat.
That's me. Rory!
I'm tuning up for
the school talent show!
Rory says he's gonna
"drop some beats"
at the open mic tonight.
Do we want to go?
[laughs]
There's a really hot
girl going on first.
He says there's a really
hot girl going on first.
Does she have
one of those
wicked, awesome
Flying V guitars?
No.
I'm out.
Sounds emo.
Sorry, Rory.
Oh.
This song is about
how I hurt sometimes.
Maybe you'll hurt too.
* La, la, la.
* Ta, ta, ta.
* Inside is the dark.
* The dark is inside.
* I run out of room,
no places to hide. *
* And all I can dooooo,
* is drag you intoooo
* the da-da-dark!
* The da-da-dark!
The da-da-dark! *
[phone rings]
* The da-da-dark!
The da-da-dark! *
* The da-da-dark!
* The dark.
[*]
Hey, mom.
No, don't worry about dinner.
I'll grab a rat-
ratsa-pasta!
* And all I can dooooo,
* is drag
you intoooo *
* the da-da-dark!
Love you too.
Everybody get home safely.
Great.
How am I supposed
to follow that?
* She's the girl next door.
* Nice, but not
in a heart that's pure *
* She's the girl next door
* Just for me
* What you get is what you see
* No more maybe
it's may believe *
* She can give you
everything you need *
* She's the girl next door.
* Nice, but not
in a heart that's pure *
* She's the girl next door
* Just for me
[*]
She destroyed the audience!
I tried to destroy the
paramedics when they showed up,
but they asked me to be
quiet while they worked.
So the entire football
team is in the hospital?
No wonder there's so
much room in the hallway.
Yeah!
Luxurious!
And wedgie-free!
If she can work a
crowd like that,
she's gonna own the
talent show this week.
Pshaw.
You're assuming the judges
will have any unblown minds
after they see my
fruit juggling.
* Da-da-da
Pretty good, huh?
There she is.
Her name is Serena.
* La!
Take that, old man Carter!
Ah!
Whoa!
Marty's usually the
wedge-ee, not the wedge-er.
Attention, students.
The talent show tryouts
are starting in the
school auditorium.
I know I can't wait-
and yet somehow I will.
All right.
That is all.
Time to get my juggle on.
Better hope you juggle
better than I spin, Bro!
MC MonsterBat takes no
p-p-p-p-p-prisoners!
[mimicks scratching]
Buddy.
* La!
[grunting]
Did she just tell those two
guys to fight each other?
Ugh! Why won't people
fight over me
when I tell them to?
I gotta figure out that
vampire mind control.
You mean "glamouring?"
'Cause I doubt-
Ethan.
Do. My. Homework.
Erica...
Yeah.
No.
Six, seven, eight.
Spin. Pop. No-slide!
Bust?
What's happening here?
Sarah made me work on a dance
routine for the talent show.
She's practising
for the tryout.
But I'm ditching her.
So, are you gonna come see
me and Erica dance up a storm?
No.
I'm not really much for storms
of the dancing variety.
Oh, and one.
* And shake, shake.
I don't know most
of your names,
so I don't have a list.
Who's first?
I'll go first, Mr. Stern!
Yeah.
Hey! My apples!
Don't worry.
I saved you one.
I can't juggle
just one apple!
I gotta hit the cafeteria.
Excuse me.
Make way.
I have a thousand
screams in my soul.
I yearn to share
them all with you.
Go for it.
This is gonna rock.
I'd better record this.
Test. Test.
* La-la-la-la-la-la.
* La-la-la-la-la-la.
* Feel my pain.
* Feel my pain.
* Feel my pain.
* Feel my pain.
What just happened?
The depths of my pain
require more bass.
That's the first time a song
has given me an
ice cream headache.
You're in.
Sorry the power went out.
I just got the urge
to bite something.
Whatever it was
tasted really sparky.
So.
What's your secret?
I only rinse out
half the conditioner.
No.
Not your hair.
Wait, does that work?
Never mind-
how did you get two
guys to fight over you?
I sang to them.
They felt my pain.
I need everyone
to feel my pain.
How do I do that?
With a talent
you'll never have.
Soon the whole world
will feel my pain.
No, Rory.
You don't have electricity
stuck in your teeth.
Phew!
So I come back
from my apple run
and all the
auditions are over.
And the line for the nurse's
office is out the door.
What happened?
Serena sang a beautiful song!
Test. Test.
[shrill noise]
That's not what I heard.
There must be something
wrong with my phone.
Or something
wrong with Serena.
First, the football team
riots in the lounge,
and then a talent show tryout
turns into the boss level
of MegaFightaloid IV.
Quit making video game
references I don't understand.
I felt like I was in a trance,
but I forgot the song
as soon as it was over.
Maybe she's Justin Bieber.
Maybe she's a mermaid!
The Bieber joke
was funnier.
No, I'm serious.
Mermaids can mess
with people's minds,
and hide their tails on land.
We just need to splash
some water on her
and see if she grows fins.
It's easy.
Whatever the songbird is,
just call me when you want
me to kick her butt, okay?
She doesn't have a butt.
Mermaids don't have butts.
[slam]
There you are.
Did you punch that?
I know you're really mad at me
for ditching you
at the tryouts
'cause I thought our
dance routine was lame
and I didn't want to do it.
You did what?
But now, I am totally into it.
Serena's gonna see
who has talent!
Wait.
You ditched me?
Oh, stop living in
the past, Sarah.
What matters is that
we've got moves to bust!
Oh yeah, buddy.
Oh yeah.
Aaaaaaaaa!
Okay, fine.
Not a mermaid.
My bad.
[shrill scream]
I can't waste time,
you dweebs.
I've got songs of pain
to bring to everyone.
Help me out here.
Okay.
Definitely...
not a mermaid.
Your eyes are fine;
your ears are good.
You're gonna be fine.
Okay, look, look, look.
Huh?
It's quiet and dark in here,
like a sensory
deprivation chamber.
What?
Stay in until your
ears stop ringing!
Put this on.
Thank you. In you go.
Good boy. That's it.
That's a good boy.
It's dark in here.
No, no, don't worry.
I'll be right here
if you need me.
Smells like shoes.
Playing your video games!
I got that new
Myth Monster game!
You bought Myth
Monster Mayhem?
These monsters are so lame!
Can't wait to play it.
You know, in a pixie
vs. leprechaun cage match,
everyone loses.
I mean, look at this,
"The mythical Siren's song
blasts the brains
of her opponents,
making them go berserk."
Yeah, like that
would ever happen.
[game noises]
Dude!
What if Serena is a Siren!
We should analyze
one of her songs
and see if it
has any supernatural
mojo coming off of it!
Benny, I just had an idea!
Maybe Serena is a Siren!
Like from Ancient Greece?
We should analyze her song!
No!
That was my idea!
Benny thought of it first!
And I'm going to
build the equipment!
I have to get started
on that equipment!
Come on!
Rory. This is what
my name looks like.
Rorrrryyyyyy.
Will you grow up?
This is serious.
Is that a tinfoil hat?
Aluminum foil.
To keep Serena's crazy
waves out of my brain.
Duh.
Ethan said earplugs are fine
but I'm not taking chances.
Where is Ethan?
I ordered him to
sit this one out.
He needs to recover after
his showdown with Serena.
Benny, is my hat tight enough?
Yeah.
Thanks, pal.
[*]
Hey guys.
What are you doing here?
You can't risk more
exposure to Serena's song.
When we were eight
and we went to see Buzzy
and the Big Bee Band,
and I cried-
He cried?
Did you let me face
the music alone?
Thank you-
Brother.
Earplugs, engage.
Good job guys.
Good job.
* It was you that I knew-
* But it hurts when I care.
* My red heart is blue
* And that just ain't fair.
* The heart that's in you...
The ultrasonics
are off the scale.
What?
There's definitely
something going on.
* Your heart is mostly meat!
* Yes, your heart
is mostly meat. *
Ethan!
Oh.
It's just biscotti.
[*]
Man.
I hate this emo junk!
What?
What?
What?
What's wrong with you?
Thanks for listening.
If Ethan's mom finds out
about this, I am so fired!
Serena's voice is full
of paranormal acoustic energy.
She's affecting
people's brains.
Rory?
Okay, so this is Rory's
normal brainwave pattern.
Pretty dead.
I'm laid back, dude.
Why stress?
Play a bit of
classical music...
[classical music playing]
and Rory is nice and calm.
But, as soon as I play even a
second of Serena's song ...
* La-la-la-la-la-la.
And Rory tries to
bite his arm off.
So Serena is a Siren.
How do we stop her?
Well, according to Greek
mythology, and Whata-pedia,
the Sirens lost a singing
contest to the Muses
and were destroyed by
their own jealousy.
Too bad we don't know
the Muses' agent.
What if we become the Muses?
We get into that talent show,
and when she turns on us,
we use her own
song against her.
How?
I mean, what if she likes
her own "yeah" voice?
Yeah.
But we could rig
up a phase inverter
and send a negative image
of her own evil harmonics
right back at her!
Yeah!
The old evil-harmonic-
phase-inverter trick!
Could work.
Yeah! We should totally
invert her face.
But how do we get
on the show
and be good enough
to make her jealous?
And we'd have to
get really close
for the phase inverter
to even work.
Simple.
Music today is all
done on computers.
We just gotta figure out the
formula for the perfect song.
Okay.
Well, just in case you three
don't become the hottest
boy band of all time,
I'll go tell Erica we may
need some more kicks
in our dance routine.
Good idea.
Guys, we should totally drop
one of MC MonsterBat's tracks.
My beats make
people feel good.
We'd be called MC MonsterBat
and the Muses.
No.
Muse-atronics!
Muse-atronics!
Yeah!
I agree.
Okay. Our
music is mathematically perfect,
our lyrics use only
the most popular words
from hit songs of
the last ten years.
And...
* We are
robo-tuuuuuunnned. *
MC MonsterBat in the house!
One, three, five, seven!
[*]
* You! Me!
Never and always! *
* Baby!
Maybe together! *
Thank you.
* Love, kiss
hurt, pain *
* stay-go,
sun, rain- *
Stop!
That was terrible.
No, truly.
Now, I can either
ask you to leave,
or I can give you the last
slot in the show and-
and I can leave...
So, congratulations.
Ah!
Muse-atronics!
Hey, Mr. Stern, are you
ready for a dance explosion?
No! I'm ready to have
a hot cup of tea
and my ears flushed.
Good-bye.
[hisses]
Erica!
No!
So, we're just gonna hang
around backstage like losers?
We're here to help.
When Serena hits the stage,
things are going to get crazy.
If she opens her mouth again,
things will get crazy.
You're really mad.
Yeah, well?
Rory is just so talented.
He can't stick with a single
hobby for more than a week
because it doesn't
challenge him anymore.
Recently, he's very into
volunteering at petting zoos.
That's great stuff, Vivian.
He really likes the
smaller animals.
I bet you he's going to
be a vet when he grows up.
[applause]
Good evening.
Good evening and welcome
to the 15th annual
Whitechapel High talent show.
If you could keep your
applause to a minimum,
we'll get out of
here in no time.
Okay.
Our students will now
display a variety of skills,
none of which will land
them jobs in the future.
Thanks for helping
with my hair.
I can't really use a mirror.
Any time, champ.
Hey, Rory, your mom's here.
Right next to
your grandmother.
Oh, that's not good.
Yeah, I'm worried
about my Grandma, too.
No, you don't understand.
I'm worried about
everyone else.
My mom can really throw 'em.
Will your Grandma back us up
when the magic starts flying?
No chance.
As soon as that
music starts playing,
that hearing aid is going off.
She hates anything without
an accordion in it.
[applause]
Thank you, Marty.
If you could disappear,
that would be great.
Hi Mom!
Before we get to
our show stopper-
Here is an act that can
only be described as...
...next.
MCMonst-
[noise dies out]
Muse-atronic.
Muse-atronics!
Hit it, Benny!
* You! Me!
Never and always! *
* Baby! Maybe together!
Hey, I heard about your
little dance implosion.
Whoops.
[hissing]
Ignore her.
She'll be toast
in a few minutes.
[*]
* There's a thing after
dinner that ya waitin' for *
* The flava gets your feet
tappin' on that floor *
* You never wanna finish
all your Brussel sprouts *
* But the treat that's comin'
makes you scream and shout! *
* Uh! Uh!
Gotta get that cake! *
* Yeah! Yeah!
Gotta eat that cake! *
Yeah!
Pop and lock, honey!
* Come on now,
who wants some cake? *
* I want some cake!
[*]
These people are mine!
Okay, well, she's mad.
I guess we got that right.
* Aaaaaaaaa!
Earplugs!
Stop it!
These people need
to feel my pain!
And so do you!
* Aaaaaa!
Ow!
* Aaaaaa!
[growls]
Erica, stop!
* The dark is inside
* I drag you intooo-
Benny!
* The dark-
I got her!
You deal with Serena!
* The da-da-dark...
* The da-da-dark...
* The da-da-dark...
* The da-da-dark...
Ethan!
Hurry up!
* The da-da-dark...
Ow!
* The da-da-dark...
Ethan, do it now!
I got it.
That's it!
Here's a real magic show!
Yeah, Marty!
* The da-da-dark...
* The da-da-dark...
[pained scream]
[loud scream]
You can't keep me quiet!
Sorry?
What was that?
[drowned scream]
[loud cacophony]
That was intense.
Well, guys, I think we just
recorded our first number one!
Yes!Whooo!
[loud applause]
Very interesting act, boys.
Very interesting.
Take a bow.
Muse-atronics!
[loud applause]
I think that's the last
we'll hear from Serena.
And MC MonsterBat.
Oy.
PA VOICE:
Yeeeaaaah, Buddy!
Whitechapel High,
this ain't no lie!
MonsterBat Morning Meltdown,
don't even ask why!
Chi-chi.
Intramural volleyball
begins at 4 o'clock today.
You can pick up your
team vests at lunch,
but don't use them as bibs!
I'm just kidding!
You can use them for bibs.
Let's go for a bite.
[phone rings]
I almost caught this spoon.
Phone.
Hello.
Yo, E-dog!
You've got 20 minutes
before MC MonsterBat
drops the beats from
the streets and-
schools these fools!
Who is it?
MC MonsterBat.
That's me. Rory!
I'm tuning up for
the school talent show!
Rory says he's gonna
"drop some beats"
at the open mic tonight.
Do we want to go?
[laughs]
There's a really hot
girl going on first.
He says there's a really
hot girl going on first.
Does she have
one of those
wicked, awesome
Flying V guitars?
No.
I'm out.
Sounds emo.
Sorry, Rory.
Oh.
This song is about
how I hurt sometimes.
Maybe you'll hurt too.
* La, la, la.
* Ta, ta, ta.
* Inside is the dark.
* The dark is inside.
* I run out of room,
no places to hide. *
* And all I can dooooo,
* is drag you intoooo
* the da-da-dark!
* The da-da-dark!
The da-da-dark! *
[phone rings]
* The da-da-dark!
The da-da-dark! *
* The da-da-dark!
* The dark.
[*]
Hey, mom.
No, don't worry about dinner.
I'll grab a rat-
ratsa-pasta!
* And all I can dooooo,
* is drag
you intoooo *
* the da-da-dark!
Love you too.
Everybody get home safely.
Great.
How am I supposed
to follow that?
* She's the girl next door.
* Nice, but not
in a heart that's pure *
* She's the girl next door
* Just for me
* What you get is what you see
* No more maybe
it's may believe *
* She can give you
everything you need *
* She's the girl next door.
* Nice, but not
in a heart that's pure *
* She's the girl next door
* Just for me
[*]
She destroyed the audience!
I tried to destroy the
paramedics when they showed up,
but they asked me to be
quiet while they worked.
So the entire football
team is in the hospital?
No wonder there's so
much room in the hallway.
Yeah!
Luxurious!
And wedgie-free!
If she can work a
crowd like that,
she's gonna own the
talent show this week.
Pshaw.
You're assuming the judges
will have any unblown minds
after they see my
fruit juggling.
* Da-da-da
Pretty good, huh?
There she is.
Her name is Serena.
* La!
Take that, old man Carter!
Ah!
Whoa!
Marty's usually the
wedge-ee, not the wedge-er.
Attention, students.
The talent show tryouts
are starting in the
school auditorium.
I know I can't wait-
and yet somehow I will.
All right.
That is all.
Time to get my juggle on.
Better hope you juggle
better than I spin, Bro!
MC MonsterBat takes no
p-p-p-p-p-prisoners!
[mimicks scratching]
Buddy.
* La!
[grunting]
Did she just tell those two
guys to fight each other?
Ugh! Why won't people
fight over me
when I tell them to?
I gotta figure out that
vampire mind control.
You mean "glamouring?"
'Cause I doubt-
Ethan.
Do. My. Homework.
Erica...
Yeah.
No.
Six, seven, eight.
Spin. Pop. No-slide!
Bust?
What's happening here?
Sarah made me work on a dance
routine for the talent show.
She's practising
for the tryout.
But I'm ditching her.
So, are you gonna come see
me and Erica dance up a storm?
No.
I'm not really much for storms
of the dancing variety.
Oh, and one.
* And shake, shake.
I don't know most
of your names,
so I don't have a list.
Who's first?
I'll go first, Mr. Stern!
Yeah.
Hey! My apples!
Don't worry.
I saved you one.
I can't juggle
just one apple!
I gotta hit the cafeteria.
Excuse me.
Make way.
I have a thousand
screams in my soul.
I yearn to share
them all with you.
Go for it.
This is gonna rock.
I'd better record this.
Test. Test.
* La-la-la-la-la-la.
* La-la-la-la-la-la.
* Feel my pain.
* Feel my pain.
* Feel my pain.
* Feel my pain.
What just happened?
The depths of my pain
require more bass.
That's the first time a song
has given me an
ice cream headache.
You're in.
Sorry the power went out.
I just got the urge
to bite something.
Whatever it was
tasted really sparky.
So.
What's your secret?
I only rinse out
half the conditioner.
No.
Not your hair.
Wait, does that work?
Never mind-
how did you get two
guys to fight over you?
I sang to them.
They felt my pain.
I need everyone
to feel my pain.
How do I do that?
With a talent
you'll never have.
Soon the whole world
will feel my pain.
No, Rory.
You don't have electricity
stuck in your teeth.
Phew!
So I come back
from my apple run
and all the
auditions are over.
And the line for the nurse's
office is out the door.
What happened?
Serena sang a beautiful song!
Test. Test.
[shrill noise]
That's not what I heard.
There must be something
wrong with my phone.
Or something
wrong with Serena.
First, the football team
riots in the lounge,
and then a talent show tryout
turns into the boss level
of MegaFightaloid IV.
Quit making video game
references I don't understand.
I felt like I was in a trance,
but I forgot the song
as soon as it was over.
Maybe she's Justin Bieber.
Maybe she's a mermaid!
The Bieber joke
was funnier.
No, I'm serious.
Mermaids can mess
with people's minds,
and hide their tails on land.
We just need to splash
some water on her
and see if she grows fins.
It's easy.
Whatever the songbird is,
just call me when you want
me to kick her butt, okay?
She doesn't have a butt.
Mermaids don't have butts.
[slam]
There you are.
Did you punch that?
I know you're really mad at me
for ditching you
at the tryouts
'cause I thought our
dance routine was lame
and I didn't want to do it.
You did what?
But now, I am totally into it.
Serena's gonna see
who has talent!
Wait.
You ditched me?
Oh, stop living in
the past, Sarah.
What matters is that
we've got moves to bust!
Oh yeah, buddy.
Oh yeah.
Aaaaaaaaa!
Okay, fine.
Not a mermaid.
My bad.
[shrill scream]
I can't waste time,
you dweebs.
I've got songs of pain
to bring to everyone.
Help me out here.
Okay.
Definitely...
not a mermaid.
Your eyes are fine;
your ears are good.
You're gonna be fine.
Okay, look, look, look.
Huh?
It's quiet and dark in here,
like a sensory
deprivation chamber.
What?
Stay in until your
ears stop ringing!
Put this on.
Thank you. In you go.
Good boy. That's it.
That's a good boy.
It's dark in here.
No, no, don't worry.
I'll be right here
if you need me.
Smells like shoes.
Playing your video games!
I got that new
Myth Monster game!
You bought Myth
Monster Mayhem?
These monsters are so lame!
Can't wait to play it.
You know, in a pixie
vs. leprechaun cage match,
everyone loses.
I mean, look at this,
"The mythical Siren's song
blasts the brains
of her opponents,
making them go berserk."
Yeah, like that
would ever happen.
[game noises]
Dude!
What if Serena is a Siren!
We should analyze
one of her songs
and see if it
has any supernatural
mojo coming off of it!
Benny, I just had an idea!
Maybe Serena is a Siren!
Like from Ancient Greece?
We should analyze her song!
No!
That was my idea!
Benny thought of it first!
And I'm going to
build the equipment!
I have to get started
on that equipment!
Come on!
Rory. This is what
my name looks like.
Rorrrryyyyyy.
Will you grow up?
This is serious.
Is that a tinfoil hat?
Aluminum foil.
To keep Serena's crazy
waves out of my brain.
Duh.
Ethan said earplugs are fine
but I'm not taking chances.
Where is Ethan?
I ordered him to
sit this one out.
He needs to recover after
his showdown with Serena.
Benny, is my hat tight enough?
Yeah.
Thanks, pal.
[*]
Hey guys.
What are you doing here?
You can't risk more
exposure to Serena's song.
When we were eight
and we went to see Buzzy
and the Big Bee Band,
and I cried-
He cried?
Did you let me face
the music alone?
Thank you-
Brother.
Earplugs, engage.
Good job guys.
Good job.
* It was you that I knew-
* But it hurts when I care.
* My red heart is blue
* And that just ain't fair.
* The heart that's in you...
The ultrasonics
are off the scale.
What?
There's definitely
something going on.
* Your heart is mostly meat!
* Yes, your heart
is mostly meat. *
Ethan!
Oh.
It's just biscotti.
[*]
Man.
I hate this emo junk!
What?
What?
What?
What's wrong with you?
Thanks for listening.
If Ethan's mom finds out
about this, I am so fired!
Serena's voice is full
of paranormal acoustic energy.
She's affecting
people's brains.
Rory?
Okay, so this is Rory's
normal brainwave pattern.
Pretty dead.
I'm laid back, dude.
Why stress?
Play a bit of
classical music...
[classical music playing]
and Rory is nice and calm.
But, as soon as I play even a
second of Serena's song ...
* La-la-la-la-la-la.
And Rory tries to
bite his arm off.
So Serena is a Siren.
How do we stop her?
Well, according to Greek
mythology, and Whata-pedia,
the Sirens lost a singing
contest to the Muses
and were destroyed by
their own jealousy.
Too bad we don't know
the Muses' agent.
What if we become the Muses?
We get into that talent show,
and when she turns on us,
we use her own
song against her.
How?
I mean, what if she likes
her own "yeah" voice?
Yeah.
But we could rig
up a phase inverter
and send a negative image
of her own evil harmonics
right back at her!
Yeah!
The old evil-harmonic-
phase-inverter trick!
Could work.
Yeah! We should totally
invert her face.
But how do we get
on the show
and be good enough
to make her jealous?
And we'd have to
get really close
for the phase inverter
to even work.
Simple.
Music today is all
done on computers.
We just gotta figure out the
formula for the perfect song.
Okay.
Well, just in case you three
don't become the hottest
boy band of all time,
I'll go tell Erica we may
need some more kicks
in our dance routine.
Good idea.
Guys, we should totally drop
one of MC MonsterBat's tracks.
My beats make
people feel good.
We'd be called MC MonsterBat
and the Muses.
No.
Muse-atronics!
Muse-atronics!
Yeah!
I agree.
Okay. Our
music is mathematically perfect,
our lyrics use only
the most popular words
from hit songs of
the last ten years.
And...
* We are
robo-tuuuuuunnned. *
MC MonsterBat in the house!
One, three, five, seven!
[*]
* You! Me!
Never and always! *
* Baby!
Maybe together! *
Thank you.
* Love, kiss
hurt, pain *
* stay-go,
sun, rain- *
Stop!
That was terrible.
No, truly.
Now, I can either
ask you to leave,
or I can give you the last
slot in the show and-
and I can leave...
So, congratulations.
Ah!
Muse-atronics!
Hey, Mr. Stern, are you
ready for a dance explosion?
No! I'm ready to have
a hot cup of tea
and my ears flushed.
Good-bye.
[hisses]
Erica!
No!
So, we're just gonna hang
around backstage like losers?
We're here to help.
When Serena hits the stage,
things are going to get crazy.
If she opens her mouth again,
things will get crazy.
You're really mad.
Yeah, well?
Rory is just so talented.
He can't stick with a single
hobby for more than a week
because it doesn't
challenge him anymore.
Recently, he's very into
volunteering at petting zoos.
That's great stuff, Vivian.
He really likes the
smaller animals.
I bet you he's going to
be a vet when he grows up.
[applause]
Good evening.
Good evening and welcome
to the 15th annual
Whitechapel High talent show.
If you could keep your
applause to a minimum,
we'll get out of
here in no time.
Okay.
Our students will now
display a variety of skills,
none of which will land
them jobs in the future.
Thanks for helping
with my hair.
I can't really use a mirror.
Any time, champ.
Hey, Rory, your mom's here.
Right next to
your grandmother.
Oh, that's not good.
Yeah, I'm worried
about my Grandma, too.
No, you don't understand.
I'm worried about
everyone else.
My mom can really throw 'em.
Will your Grandma back us up
when the magic starts flying?
No chance.
As soon as that
music starts playing,
that hearing aid is going off.
She hates anything without
an accordion in it.
[applause]
Thank you, Marty.
If you could disappear,
that would be great.
Hi Mom!
Before we get to
our show stopper-
Here is an act that can
only be described as...
...next.
MCMonst-
[noise dies out]
Muse-atronic.
Muse-atronics!
Hit it, Benny!
* You! Me!
Never and always! *
* Baby! Maybe together!
Hey, I heard about your
little dance implosion.
Whoops.
[hissing]
Ignore her.
She'll be toast
in a few minutes.
[*]
* There's a thing after
dinner that ya waitin' for *
* The flava gets your feet
tappin' on that floor *
* You never wanna finish
all your Brussel sprouts *
* But the treat that's comin'
makes you scream and shout! *
* Uh! Uh!
Gotta get that cake! *
* Yeah! Yeah!
Gotta eat that cake! *
Yeah!
Pop and lock, honey!
* Come on now,
who wants some cake? *
* I want some cake!
[*]
These people are mine!
Okay, well, she's mad.
I guess we got that right.
* Aaaaaaaaa!
Earplugs!
Stop it!
These people need
to feel my pain!
And so do you!
* Aaaaaa!
Ow!
* Aaaaaa!
[growls]
Erica, stop!
* The dark is inside
* I drag you intooo-
Benny!
* The dark-
I got her!
You deal with Serena!
* The da-da-dark...
* The da-da-dark...
* The da-da-dark...
* The da-da-dark...
Ethan!
Hurry up!
* The da-da-dark...
Ow!
* The da-da-dark...
Ethan, do it now!
I got it.
That's it!
Here's a real magic show!
Yeah, Marty!
* The da-da-dark...
* The da-da-dark...
[pained scream]
[loud scream]
You can't keep me quiet!
Sorry?
What was that?
[drowned scream]
[loud cacophony]
That was intense.
Well, guys, I think we just
recorded our first number one!
Yes!Whooo!
[loud applause]
Very interesting act, boys.
Very interesting.
Take a bow.
Muse-atronics!
[loud applause]
I think that's the last
we'll hear from Serena.
And MC MonsterBat.
Oy.
PA VOICE:
Yeeeaaaah, Buddy!
Whitechapel High,
this ain't no lie!
MonsterBat Morning Meltdown,
don't even ask why!
Chi-chi.
Intramural volleyball
begins at 4 o'clock today.
You can pick up your
team vests at lunch,
but don't use them as bibs!
I'm just kidding!
You can use them for bibs.
Let's go for a bite.