My Babysitter's a Vampire (2011–2012): Season 1, Episode 2 - Three Cheers for Evil - full transcript

Boom, did a bomb just go off in my head?

No, it's the Devils
When we beat you black and red

Call a nurse, call a doctor
Call your mama too

Because you're gonna need help
When we are finished with you

Go, Devils!

Again, girls.

Erica, please, tell me you're not doing
what I think you're doing.

What? It's just cheerleading.

I thought you said you wanted us
to be normal.

It's okay, but I think
it needs to be more like this:

Oops.



Cheerleaders are not normal.

They're more evil than us,
and we're vampires.

Sarah, you know I've always wanted
to be a cheerleader.

And now that I'm really hot, I can.

Besides, these girls have been telling me
to bite them for years.

Yeah. I don't think
that's what they had in mind.

Oh, come on.
Who's gonna miss just one?

I will.

Isn't this kind of like letting Magneto
join the X-Men?

I'll assume that's geek-speak
for a "fox in the henhouse" thing.

If you have any ideas on how
I'm supposed to stop her, I'm all ears.

Because you're gonna need help

When we are finished with you

- Go, Devils!
- You could join too.



No, no, no. There has to be another way.

Go, Devils!

Oh, cowabunga!

Do not say anything.

You look PePPY-

Look, somebody needs to make sure
Erica doesn't do any sampling.

And I'm the only one
who can squeeze into this thing.

- Let's see what you've got, girls.
- Um...

- Uh...
- God bless cheerleaders.

Ugh.

You know...

I think Sarah might need,
uh, some backup.

I think she'll be fine.

Watch out.

Sorry.

Oh, hey, Erica.

Whoa.

I just had a vision.

I know, bud. Me too.

- A real vision.
- Gather round.

Erica's out
for the head cheerleader's blood.

See? There you go.

Then we have to help those poor, hot,
innocent cheerleaders.

And one more time.

Did I mention that they're hot?

- One, two...
- It couldn't hurt to keep an eye on them.

Mm-hm.

Get out.

Or it could hurt a lot.

And one, two, three, four.

Those girls are never gonna
let us in there. Maybe a spy cam?

- No, no. We need to infiltrate.
- And one, two...

- ...three, four.
- Get up close and personal.

And one, two, three, four.
And how are we gonna do that?

This is your worst idea yet.

- This underwear's riding up my butt.
- Actually, I find them flattering.

I wanted to date a girl in high school,
not be one.

No one's ever gonna buy us as chicks.

Are you kidding? They totally will.

You're hanging a little low on the left.

Who cares? This just won't work.

Well, hello there, foxy ladies.

Hi.

Um, I'm Betty, and this is...

Veronica.

Sweet.

So much easier
than remembering Angel 1...

and Angel 2.

- I'll see you gals around.
- See you.

Bye.

See?

Okay, fine.

It's worth a shot.
But it's to save the cheerleaders.

That's my girl. All right.

And then after that, kick.
Okay, everybody got it? Let's try this.

I cannot believe we beat out 40 girls
to make the squad.

Never underestimate the power
of a good fall-on-your-face spell.

What?

You didn't actually think
we were better than them?

I don't know. it's...

I nailed the jumping jacks.

Uh, Betty, Veronica,
would you care to join us?

Oh, we care.

Now, form up, girls.

I wanna hear you shout.

Yeah, we're Devils'girls
And we'll knock you out

Okay. Now hit the shower, rookies.

Some of you new recruits are rank.

Ouch. I thought the Borg Queen was crusty.

Benny, I just had another vision.

It was almost like Erica
sucked the blood out of everyone.

We better tell Sarah.

But the girls are headed to the shower.

Lives are at stake here, Ethan.
I don't think this can wait, do you?

That would be irresponsible.

Um, excuse me, I was...

I just wanted to fix my hair.
Humidityjust makes it...

Please stop.

Save the act for your idiot friends.
I can't believe...

No, listen, listen, you can't tell anyone.

It's important.
I just had a terrible vision.

Ditto. I'm gonna have to wash
my eyes out with soap.

Look, I can handle Erica.

Go practice your cheers
and have a cold shower.

If you insist. Heh.

- At home.
- Oh. Oh.

Heh. Heh.

I never knew cheer routines could be so tricky.

Am I rotating my hips too late
before I pop and lock?

You know, I didn't wanna throw you off,
but you have to rotate from the core.

See this?

What am I saying?

What's up? My main men.

Rory. You're the mascot?

Of course.

Best way to hang
with all the hot cheerleading chicks.

And there's this one
blond Hottie-McLovely.

Name's Betty. So into me.

Yeah. I doubt that, dude.

What about Veronica?

Ah, she's okay.

Just okay?

Her legs are kind of bandy.

But Betty,
I just wanna sink my fangs...

Yeah, we get it.

Ah!

Liver sandwiches? Seriously?

That's gross.

I know what I'd like for lunch.

You know, these kids were here first.
Every day you come in here...

You should be more careful.

Come on, girls. We've got things to do.

- Ah...
- Ugh. Hanging with those girls...

makes me wanna stake myself
through the heart.

The star is the most important position
for the pep rally tomorrow.

It has to be perfect
if we're gonna get enough team spirit.

Okay, I wanna hear you shout.

We're forces of nature

That's what makes a star

We may look like girls
But that's not all we are

Spirit fingers.

Way to cheer.

Let's hit the mall.

I can't believe I signed up for this.
And you guys, why would you voluntarily?

Good practice, girls.

Thanks.

Never mind.

So where to next? Straight home?

No.

I think I'm gonna go grab a bite.

- No, it's hers.
- Let's go.

Oh, okay.

We're forces of nature
That's what makes a star...

You know, something about that, I mean,
just makes me feel all tingly inside. It's great.

Sure it's our new cheers
and not your new boyfriend?

Well, hello there, my Beelze-babe.

Sweetie, stop.

Stop.

Ugh.

You don't remember me, do you?

You girls used to trip me and tease me
about how much I ate.

I still have a healthy appetite.

Only a slightly different diet.

- Ah!
- Erica.

Benny, are you sure it's the cheers
making you tingle?

Maybe it was gas.

My tingles are never wrong.

Look. Forces of nature,
earth, air, fire, water.

That's what makes a star.

Oh, man.

E, this isn't just some chick cheer.
I think it's some kind of incantation.

Forces of nature
That's what makes a star

We may look like girls

- But that's not all we are
- But that's not all we are

Oh, man. So Stephanie
doesn't just act like a witch.

She is one.

So that vision I had in the gym,
it wasn't Erica's.

It was Stephanie's.

And tomorrow's rally
has nothing to do with team spirit.

She's after the human spirits
of the whole school.

Erica's in for a nasty shock.

So is Sarah.

She says she's on her way over.

Sarah is bringing Stephanie
and the squad...

to see Betty and Veronica.

Uh...

Pay UP-

Mom and Dad won't find out about this?

Not from me.
But I'm not so sure about YouTube.

Thanks.

You are so funny.
GIRL 2:50 much fun.

- I know.
- Oh, there you are.

Don't be shy, girls. Join the fun.

The spirit squad is now in session.

Hi, girls.

Nice hair.

Oh, my gosh.
Cheerleader sleepovers are so fun.

And later on,
we're gonna give each other mani-pedis.

Make sundaes, and do each other's hair?

Benny.

Yes. We need sundaes now.

Sarah, what are you doing?
You know Stephanie is a witch, right?

Okay, I know she seems like a witch
because she acts like a witch...

but she's actually really sweet.

You know...

as long as you're not ugly.

I think Sarah is under Stephanie's spell.

She's acting like a total girl.

Yeah. You and I,
on the other hand, we're just...

Point taken.

So, what do we do now?

I know.

- Let's have a pillow fight.
- Yes!

Wasn't there something
we were supposed to be doing?

Yeah.

The whole school might die tomorrow
if we don't stop the cheerleaders.

Tomorrow is hours away.

This is literally the coolest moment
of my life.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

Pillow fight!

Benny.

Benny, wake up.

Ow!

What?

Oh!

Dude, you've got stuff all over your face.

What the...?

Dude, your nails are red.

Yours are pink.

- I feel so violated.
- Oh... Uh...

Those cheerleaders must be stopped.

There's no...

Who knows what they'll paint pink next?

Okay. Okay.

Lots of these old spells channel energy
with the five points of the star.

One for each of the elements.

Wait. Stephanie said
she needed five cheerleaders.

She's using our formation
to sap human spirits.

Pentagrams are never good.

I hope a reversal spell will be enough
to block the flow of energy.

Uh, come in.

- Grandma? What are you doing here?
- I promised Jane some strength potion...

but I wanted to give you these.

Pom-poms?

Protection wands.

For the big rally today.

You think I didn't hear
those cheerleaders last night?

Don't be fooled boys.

Beneath those short skirts and pigtails,
there's some serious black magic at work.

Of course, not all cheerleaders are bad.

Back in my day,
I had the highest kick on the squad.

We had one girl
who was desperate to get on the team.

She was consumed with bitterness.

Wonder whatever happened to her.

Well, you boys better get ready.
You have a big day.

- Bye, Grandma.
- Bye.

- Thank you. Thanks.
- Thanks.

- Wow!
- Wh at?

Your grandma was hot.

Are you trying to ruin
the word "hot" for me forever?

Dude, look at this.

I don't want to know how hot she was.

No, no. The picture below it, it's...

Stephanie?

I don't think Stephanie and your grandma
got along very well.

Why?

She signed your Grandma's yearbook,
"I'll get you all one day.

P.S. Have the worst summer ever."

That symbol.

I've seen it before in my spell book.
It's a trefoil knot.

A symbol meaning...

"immortality.

That might explain why she's still 17.

Okay, I am so loving your hot grandma
with her magic pom-poms right now.

Dude.

Don't talk about my grandma's
pom-poms like that.

The moment has come

This is it Our finest hour

No stopping us now
You can't resist our power

We're forces of nature
That's what makes a star

We may look like girls
But that's not all we are

Give up now
Because you're gonna be beat

We are out for power
And you're in for defeat

Now, Benny. Now.

Back off, geeks.
I've been waiting 50 years...

to bring this school down,
and no one is going to stop me now.

Ethan, I don't think it's working.
Maybe we're saying it wrong.

Step out of the pentagram.

I can't. I'm stuck.

Push Grandma's pom-poms
closer to Sarah.

We join our hands together

See the perfect shape we make

Our five-star tradition
is impossible to break

Sarah. Sarah.

What happened? What's going on?

Stephanie is a witch.

She's sucking the souls
out of the whole student body.

Get back in formation.

The cheer must be completed.

Here's a new cheer for you.

- Give me an ow!
- Ow!

- Boo-yah!
- Nice.

Sweet.

It's like an all-you-can-eat buffet.

What?

Like anyone is gonna miss her.

She's a total...

- She's old. Ew!
- Ew!

You. You ruined everything.

Poor Stephanie.

I remember how mean
folks were to you back then.

What I forgot was just how much
you deserved it.

- Three cheers for Grandma.
- Whoo!

I am so done with cheerleading.

- Ag reed.
- Ag reed.

Smart kids.

All that jumping around is fun...

but what you're left with
is saggy pom-poms.

Uh...

Thanks.

Stephanie.

What if she put a hex on our sandwiches?

Hey, don't worry.
Grandma blocked her powers.

Now she's just a sad old lady
in a hair net.

Who can still spit in your food.

Hey, Rory.

Sorry to hear your girlfriend moved away.

But I did bump into her
and she asked me to give you this.

My dearest Rorykins.

Our time together was short,
yet precious, like you.

But somehow I sense a darkness in you
that I could never trust myself to resist.

Be strong, my little devil.

No matter what,
we'll always have the gym hallway.

Love, Betty.

Down.

ROY'!-