Mr Selfridge (2013–2016): Season 2, Episode 2 - Episode #2.2 - full transcript

Harry is confronted by a delegation of trade unionists led by Arnold Huxton demanding better workers' rights. Union membership is forbidden at the store as the staff have their own council for debates but Ed and Dave, who work in the loading bay with Gordon, are interested and arrange to attend a talk given by Huxton. Gordon overhears and sneaks into the meeting but when the Selfridge staff learns how comparatively well-served they are, the unionists are angry and a fight ensues. Rose, seeing Henri at the club, follows him home to where he is living in poverty though he declines her offer of his old job back. Harry is annoyed that she made the offer behind his back. To repay the staff for their loyalty he arranges a tango party at Delphine's, inviting Lady Mae, though her obnoxious husband also tags along and is angry when Harry refuses to discuss business with him. Despite the threat of war, which particularly unnerves Grove, the party is a success, Kitty dazzling Frank, though Agnes, of whom Thackeray is still jealous, tells Victor they have no future. The Loxley's crumbling marriage is tested when Mae learns that her husband has leased out their country estate. She counters by mocking him over the fact that Harry rebuffed his request to discuss business so he hits her, knocking her to the floor.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
Join the union!

Ladies and gentlemen,
who will protect you

if war breaks out and Selfridge
goes back to America?

Oi, watch what
you're doing.

You all right?

I beg your pardon, Miss.

No harm done, I hope?

I'm fine, thank you.

Come on,
I'll walk with you.

Morning, Mr. Crabb.

Mr. Thackeray,
Mr. Crabb.

Unions are causing trouble
all over the country.

You go ahead,
I'll deal with this.

Sorry mate,
can't take it.

Can I have a moment
of your time?

Won't hurt you
to read it, son.

If you have to fight
for your country,

you'll want a union
to come back to.

Come along, ladies.

MAN: Gentlemen, can I
interest you in one of these?

If there's war,
why do we have to get involved?

I don't know.

I don't understand
any of it.

With all this trouble
in Europe,

Mr. Selfridge might decide
to go back to America.

He wouldn't,
would he?

What's stopping him?

His family live there
most of the time as it is.

But what about us?

Our jobs?

Mr. Selfridge
isn't going anywhere.

Listen to me!

We've had quite enough
excitement for one morning.

Now hurry along
to your stations please,

quietly and with decorum.

It was a peaceful

but the message
was clear enough.

The staff know our position
on trade unions.

We take care of our own.

We do, but we're
in the minority.

Workers are protesting
all over London.

Dissatisfaction spreads.


Our people feel
secure enough.

Rumors have started,
Mr. Selfridge.

What rumors?

There's a notion that
you may return to America.

That's ludicrous.

Where's Mr. Grove?

I'm sure he's on the shop floor
doing his rounds.

We must reassure
the staff immediately.

Miss Plunkett, arrange
a heads of department meeting

as soon as possible.

And get Mr. Grove up here…

Mr. Grove!

You're late.


Mr. Crabb, apprise Mr. Grove
of the situation.

I want to see you in my office
in five minutes.

You couldn't wait
till I got in?

Actually, I was trying
to cover for you.

And not for the first time,
Mr. Grove.

These are Mr. Selfridge's

for this week's
promotional displays.

Menswear, Haberdashery,
Outdoor Equipment…

Top priority.

Thank you, Miss Plunkett.

And you're needed at a head
of departments meeting

in 15 minutes.

Never a dull moment.

We need to reassure the staff.

We've always looked out
for our own.

We always will.

Yes, Mr. Selfridge.

Good of you to join us,
Miss Towler.

Sorry, Mr. Selfridge.

SELFRIDGE: With the stock
market already in turmoil…

Your pencil, Miss Towler.

Now, with the stock market
in turmoil,

if our staff are jittery
and the morale is low,

what's that going to say
to our suppliers and our buyers?

What I need to do
is distract people

from what's really going on.

I need ideas.

What do you have? Anyone?

Miss Towler?

We could have a dance!

How about a tango

here in the store?

All the girls
love the tango,

and Sefior Gomerez
is performing at Delphine's.

He's meant to be amazing!

That's an excellent idea.

I love it.

Inspired thinking,

Miss Hawkins.

And maybe a staff party

I like it,
very good thinking.

We'll book the Palm Court.

No expenses spared
for tomorrow evening.

Get a hold of Delphine's
and book the dancers.

Now, we need something

to raise the spirit
of the public as well.

Something big and British.

An Empire Exhibition!

We could put something on
in the Palm Court.

If that's all right

with Mr. Colleano,
of course?

Fine, Miss Towler.

Something simple,

but effective.

A display of photographs,
merchandise and maps?

Something a little more
colorful and entertaining.

Think about it.

Thank you all
for your time.

Excellent idea,
Miss Hawkins.

And I hope your Palm Court
exhibition does justice

to Mr. Selfridge's
grand vision, Miss Towler.

But you can only do
what you can do.

(elevator door closes)

Well, I'm looking forward
to getting out of London.

It's so dreadfully hot.

Isn't it?

And everyone's in such a stew
about war.

Thoroughly dull,
I agree.

Yes, the country holds
particular attractions

at the moment.

And will Lord Loxley
be staying in town, my lady?

Yes, Pimble.

Loxley will not be
coming with us.


Am I disturbing you?

Yes, thank goodness.


To hell with accounts.

I can't make them balance

Too much money going out,
not enough coming in.

Why is it always
that way round?

I did mean it,
you know.

About investing
in the club.

Oh, thank you.

Well, it's a lovely offer

and I've given it
serious consideration.

But friendship and business
do not go together.

Well, they should.

They should go hand in hand.

So I'm not giving up
on this one.

I'm flattered,
but I'm holding firm.

For now.


Actually, it's friendship
that brings me here.

I might be
completely wrong,

but when I was here
the other night,

I thought I saw
someone that I know.

His name's Henri Leclair.

Henri Leclair?

That name rings a bell.

Was that the man last week
asking lots of questions?

Didn't he leave his address?


He left this.

What would you
want with him?

He used to work with Harry.

They were close once.

Are you sure, Rose?

Because that is
a rough area.

Oh, I've got a tougher streak
than you might think.


Oh, by the way,

Harry's secretary has arranged
for our guest, Sefior Gomerez,

to do a tango demonstration
for the staff at the store.


But I was rather hoping

you could get him
to hold it here.

You can appreciate it would be
very good for business.

And I do throw a good party,
if I say so myself.


I'll see what
I can do.

Thanks, darling.

Do I get to keep


Even the ruby necklace?

the ruby necklace.

I hope you'll miss me.

I hope I don't too much.

Well, you know where to find me
if you change your mind.

Cancel Miss Spender's
account, please.

Actually, you know,
cancel all their accounts.

All of them?


Telephone Mrs. Selfridge
and let her know

that I'm going to be home
early for dinner.

JESSIE: May I use
some of our cosmetics

for the party,
Miss Hawkins?

Oh, I should think so.

Miss Hawkins,

how are you today?

Not one bit shaken by the
demonstration this morning

if that's what you're
wondering, Mr. Edwards.

You're looking for a story
I presume?

As a matter of fact,

I'm here to find a present
for a very special lady.

Well, in that case,

I'll leave you in Miss Pertree's
capable hands.

Might I know something
about her coloring, sir?

Well, one day her hair
is golden;

a shaft of sunlight
and voila, it turns crimson.

Sometimes her lips
are pink petal smooth,

other times there's
a pearly sheen.

Blue eyes,

but then sometimes
there's a hue of violet.

She's a difficult lady
to pin down.

But I'm sure
I'll manage in time.

She sounds lovely, sir.

She is.

A new perfume from the House
of Guerlain, perhaps?

I'm sure she'd like that.

Well, that looks…

Yardley facial cream,

top of the range.

Penhaligon soap.

Her complexion
could be quite sensitive

from what you describe.

Lady Primrose
hand lotion.

She'll love the presentation.

And the extra expense.

If she's hard to pin down
as you say, sir,

you'll have to work
all the harder, won't you?

If she's such a catch.

Thank you for a very valuable
lesson in my wooing approach.

You're quite welcome.

Everybody has something
to learn.

I need you to get me in a room
with your shopkeeper friend.

Why would I do that?

There's a war coming.

The military
will need supplies.

He's the man to consult.

Arrange a meeting
and I'll take it from there.

How can you expect him
to help you

after the way you behaved?

Just do as I say.

It will be to our
mutual advantage.

Trust me.

That's the problem,

I never have.

You might find the country house
a tad crowded.

It's been leased
to a Dutch industrialist

as of yesterday.

Chap likes fishing,

You should have seen it, Mother.

Charlie Chaplin's
the funniest fellow ever.

He starts the film
drunk as anything…

Watch out,

…falls over, then puts his hat
onto some poor woman's head.

What's it called,
Tango Tang/es?

Why is that?

Because it's set
in a music hall.

Come with us next time.

You'd love it.

Oh, that sounds so fun.

I will.

It's a date.

'Night, Harry.

I miss us.

I love you, Rose.

No matter what happened
in the past,

I want you to know that.

I know you're lonely

But that's for you
to deal with.

When you're in the States,

it's not just the house
that feels empty.

Harry, I can't give you
everything again.

I'll just end up with a little
less of me each time.

I don't want to hate you.

There isn't anybody
but you now, Rose.

Good morning,
little one!

(door opens)

Why hello, Mr. Crabb.

Hello, Mrs. Grove.

I haven't seen you
for ages.

How nice.

We hardly ever see anybody.

Roger's always on about
what good friends you are.

How are you these days?

In my element,
Mr. Crabb.

How could I not be
with my little angels around me?

I thought I'd come this way
to work today.

Walk in with you.

Goodbye, my dear.

Good bye!


I'm ready to be
frog marched in.

I was trying to help,
Mr. Grove.

I don't need help!

UNION MAN: It's about
fully respecting workers.

EMPLOYEE: Mr. Huxton, don't
you need to go to a meeting

before signing up?

HUXTON: You don't need
to do any of that.

Just come along
whenever you want.


you're trespassing
on private property.

We uphold the law,


George Towler.

Arnold Huxton.

Just letting London workers know
what we could offer them.

Look, I'm all for unions
where they're needed.

But I've been working here
five years

and we rub along
just fine without one.

Take a look at our vision
for the future.

We have a booth
by Bond Street Station

if you want
to get in touch.

Thank you, Mr. Huxton.


Thank you very much.




Good afternoon,
Mr. Selfridge.

Black coffee, Franco,
thank you.

Have you thought about
what I said last night?


I just thought
it would be nice

to take afternoon
coffee with you, that's all.


That'll do me for now.



I have the feeling you have
something to ask me?


Delphine wondered if you'd hold
the staff party in her club.

What do you think?

It makes more sense
to have it here.

A store event for people
that work here.

But Harry, it would be
such a treat for them.

I'm not sure.

I mean, Delphine would have
to get it absolutely right.

Well, she'd have
every incentive to.

I'm thinking of investing
in the club.

Investing in her club?

Mm-hmm .

You think that's a wise move?

Well, it's early days.

We're still negotiating.


Now, what about this party?

Well, only because it's you,
I'll consider it.

Miss Towler.

Yes, Mr. Thackeray?

You were supposed to be
at the Fashion Department.


Ten minutes ago.


I'm sorry, Mr. Thackeray.

I've just got
an awful lot on.

The Luggage Window display,
the Palm Court.

I will get to you today.

I promise.

Let's say 5:00,
after closing.

Busy, busy bee, aren't we?

I look forward
to seeing you then.

(dogs barking outside)

(floorboards creaking)

Hello, Henri.


It's been a long time.

What are you doing here?

Do you mind if I come in?

Um… yeah.

How did you find me?

I thought I saw you
at Delphine's.

At Delphine's?

What were you doing
at Delphine's?

She's a friend of mine.


You look well, Henri.

You don't need to lie, Rose.

A lot has changed
since I saw you last.

Harry's changed.

New York didn't
work out for you?


I'm sorry.

Get out, get out.

I understand about that.

About things not working out.

You've got money,
family, security.

What exactly hasn't
worked out for you, Rose?

Well, I'm not here
to talk about me;

I'm here to talk about Harry.

He misses you.

He feels very badly
about the way you two parted.

If he feels so bad,

why is it you are here
and not him?

He doesn't know
that I'm here.

Harry really needs
a true friend,

and forgive me, Henri,

but it looks like…


It looks like you could do
with a friend too.

I don't need charity.

Henri, just…

Why don't you
let Harry help you?

I don't need Harry's help.

I don't care
if I never see him again.

Please, Rose.

Good bye.

Miss Towler, at last!

I said I'd get here,
Mr. Thackeray.

Indeed you did,
and almost on time.

In fact, I've requested
Mr. Selfridge's presence

for our meeting.

And here he is now.

Mr. Selfridge,
thank you for giving us

a moment of your
valuable time.

What's this about,

I've been thinking
about your Empire idea.

Thinking hard,
Mr. Selfridge.


Why not roll out the idea

Every department.

Showcase the best of Britain
and the colonies

from the Stationary

to up here in Fashion.

I like it.

Make it a week-long

of all that is truly great
about the Empire.

We'd be saying that
you can trust us at Selfridge's

to put our best foot forward
at all times

and that we're
here to stay.

Trust, Mr. Selfridge.

That's what people sorely lack
in these uncertain times.

It's good thinking.

A little more than you bargained
for, huh, Miss Towler?

Can you handle it?

Of course,
Mr. Selfridge.


I look forward
to all of your ideas.

As do I.

Do let me know
if I can assist you

in any way at all.

(door opens)

Good morning, Mae.

Have you arranged my meeting
with Selfridge?

I spoke to his

He's traveling.

Very busy man.

I hope that you're not
lying to me, Mae.

What are you going to do?

Blackmail me as you
blackmailed your friend?

Don't play games with me.

You will smooth
everything over

with Selfridge.

Never forget,

all you have
is the Loxley name.

I can take it from you
like that.

Hello, Victor.

I've ordered white lilies
for the Champagne Bar.

Sounds good.

And for the Empire

I've got some ideas
for designs.

I was thinking we could put
display cabinets

all along this wall

and hang mounted
photographs here,

and, um, maybe drape some flags
from the ceiling, or…

I'm sorry.

I know that it was my idea

to use your restaurant
for the exhibition.

I just thought that
a contained area

would be an easier space
to dress.

Sounds like you've got
a lot on your plate,

but you seem to be coping
well enough.

(exasperated sigh)

Actually, I'm finding it all
rather daunting.

Same here from time to time.

Excuse me.

Oh yes, of course.

Sorry, I didn't mean to take up
any of your time unnecessarily.

Late finish, early start.

The perils of running
your own business.

Looks different
during the day.

I didn't know you'd
been here before.

Rose said it wasn't your thing.

She tells me that you offered
to host the party for my staff.

That's a pretty big
money-making venture for you.

I won't lie to you,
I'm pretty skint at the moment,

and an event like that
would help, yes.

Unlike you, Mr. Selfridge,

I can't go to the bank
to borrow.

An unmarried woman
has no leverage.

I have to think
about my store.

About the Selfridge name.

I don't want anything
to bring that into disrepute.

Are we talking about the store
or your wife now?


Rose told me
that she's thinking

about investing
in this club.

That was her idea, not mine.

I don't think it would work,

but she was pretty
excited about it.

Rose is a little bit restless
at the moment.

Can I give you some advice?

Miss Day,
we've had our problems.

But we will
sort them out.

If you love her, trust her.

Thank you very much.

I'll keep that in mind.

But I am going
to tell you something:

I think that I know my wife
a lot better than you do.

Signing up, are you?

Just interested.

You're all right.

You've got your pa to look out
for your interests.

Now c'mon, Dave.

He's down here learning
from scratch, ain't he?

All we're saying,
Mr. Towler,

is if he's got the right
to read that pamphlet,

then so do we.

That's right, Ed.

My dad swears by his union.

We should at least
have the right

to talk about
joining one.

You two need to get a grip.

And if you're so unhappy,
go and speak to Mr. Grove

and see what he has
to say about it.

Yeah, maybe
we'll do just that.

Yeah, maybe we will.

Come on.


We're here to formally ask
for the right

to investigate entry
to the trade union

for warehouse workers.

You knew our policy
with regard to that

when you sought

We already have a staff counsel
if you need something addressed.

Well yes,
but can't we even…

There is no change of policy.

Now return to your
stations, please.

Get back to work!

Go on!

Selfridge can shove
his party.

Tell the lads:

gather in the loading bay
at 7:00 this evening.

Oh, I Will.


Everything all right?

I think some of the men
see your party

as a way of buying them off
from talking to the unions.

I don't mean it that way.

I just thought
you should know.


Son, there'll be days
when you'll sit on this chair

when it'll seem like you just
can't do right for doing wrong.

So what do I do then?

You do what you think is right.

And then you pay the price
if you get it wrong.


"My dear Lady Mae,

"you're greatly missed
at the store.

"Please join us for a social
gathering at Delphine's.

I'll send a car."

It appears he's returned
from his travels.


I'm not going.

Oh, you're going.

And what's more…

I'm coming with you.

I can't believe we're going
to Delphine's tonight!

I've borrowed
tortoise shell hair combs

and a fan trimmed with Spanish
lace from Accessories.

Nice to be open

about wearing
rouge, Grace.

About time us girls didn't have
to keep our personal secret.

You're so daring,

How do you do it?

I just look to see
how Miss Hawkins does things.

One of you
lucky ladies

might get a dance


You might be the one
who gets lucky, Mr. Colleano.


Playing hard to get,
are we, Miss Pertree?


Do you want a ride
to the party, son?

Actually, I've got a lot
to catch up on here.

Is that true,

or are you getting pressure
from the men down here?

I can make up my own mind.

I'd like you to be there.

No shame in changing your mind
if you decide to come.

Thank you.

Nice enough,
I suppose.

If my mum saw me
in this place,

I'd be back in the Valleys
faster than I could pack a bag.

Mind you don't crack it.

Seven years bad luck.

No cracking mirrors
tonight, Victor.

I'm feeling lucky.

This is a works do,

so it's still
Mr. Colleano to you.

Evening, chaps.

Mr. Arnold Huxton
is here to tell us

what signing up
for the Warehouse Workers' Union

can do for us.


It is a pleasure to see
so many of you here.

This is your party,

so leave your cares behind
at the door for one night.

It won't change the future,

but we will face whatever
comes our way together.

Understand, we are here for you
when nobody else is.

In these uncertain times,

who is looking out for the
rights of the workers?

How are your interests protected
if not by us?

It might be my name on the door,

but behind that door,
you are the ones that matter.

So eat, drink, and be merry.

That is an order.

(crowd laughing)


(tango music starts)


For now, we are just looking

for shorter hours
and better pay.

But I have a vision that goes
much further than that.

Let me tell you
where the future lies

for workers in this country.

Everything all right
with you and Thackeray?

You made it
quite clear earlier

that you weren't interested
in listening to my problems.

I didn't mean
to cut you off.

It's just…

I don't know what way
to be with you now.

What's going on with us?

There is no "us," Victor.

Look, it's been
a really long day.

I think I'm just
going to go home.

(music ends)


HUXTON: There is trouble
brewing on the continent.

Some say war will come.

Will the great Mr. Selfridge
look out for you,

your jobs and your loved ones
if you have to go and fight?

Will you accept,
with my apologies?

Apologies for what?

For making assumptions,
Miss Hawkins.

I won't make
the same mistake again.

In fact, I promise
to work very, very hard

to make you see me
in a more worthy light.

I'll accept your gift.

I need a volunteer!

I'll talk you
through it.

Don't worry if you
stumble at first.

(tango music playing)

(crowd gasping)

HUXTON: Why should we put up
with shoddy work conditions?

The rich are staying rich
and the poor are getting poorer.

It's time to turn the tables.

Think about how Selfridge
would treat you if you got ill?

(crowd mumbling)

Tell him, Ed.

Look, Mr. Huxton,

the things that you're
promising us,

we already have.

The store has
a full-time nurse.

A dentist comes
every week.

There's all sorts of schemes
for betterment and education.

(crowd murmurs agreement)

(music continues)

If you've got it so good,
why did you ask me here tonight?

I'm wasting my time!

I guarantee you'll come
crawling back to us

when Selfridge runs off
to America

at the first sign of war.

That's my father
you're talking about,

and he is not a coward.

Did you know he was here?


You need to get out of here now.

(men shouting)

(music stops)



I have to hand it
to you, Miss Day.

You sure do know
how to put on a show.

Well done.

I'm glad you're pleased.

I could tell you were
doubtful this afternoon.

You were here earlier?

Yes, I just wanted to check out
the venue for myself.

(upbeat music starts)

Good of you
to invite us along, Selfridge.

A charming display.

As I recall, I extended
the invitation to Lady Mae.

Thank you so much
for coming, Lady Mae.

while I'm here,

it behooves me to bring up
the matter other bill.

Nothing to bring up.

You closed her account.

We're done on the subject.

A fit of pique on a trying day,
you understand.

Our outstandings
will be settled…

Maybe you didn't hear me.

I don't need your money.

Well, if it's all behind us,

I want to discuss
some business with you.

Lord Loxley,
this is a party.

Your timing is

Perhaps my lovely wife
can persuade you

to hear what
I have to say.


Oh, I agree
with Mr. Selfridge.

This is neither the time
nor the place, dear.

Why don't you stay
and have a couple of drinks?

They are also on the house.

What were you doing
spying on us like that?

I just wanted to hear
what the man had to say,

same as you.

I am working
in the loading bay.


See, Dave?

There's them
and there's us.

Ever the same.

You're all right,

Ed would be the first
to stick up for his old man.


Are you sure I can't arrange
a car for you, ladies?

Thanks, but we're
going to walk.

I have a little
surprise for Rose.

I'm not sure about this.

Well, enjoy your
evening, ladies.


So what's the surprise?

Just a second, Rose.

Come with us,
Mr. Selfridge.

Come on.

All work and no play…

SELFRIDGE: I don't want
to get in the way.

Don't be silly, come on!

It's a beautiful evening.

(upbeat music playing)


Mmm, jellied eels.

The finest London
has to offer.

Come on, where's
your sense of adventure?

Life isn't all fancy
restaurants, you know.

You need to try
what your staff eats.

You're full of surprises,
Miss Day.

Oh, you have no idea.

Mr. Grove, are you
feeling quite well?

I'm drunk, I think.

How pleasant.

It's not pleasant.

How unpleasant, then.

Do you ever wonder…


…what paths you
might have taken?


In life…

In life!

Paths in life.

Doris is a sweet girl
and she's a wonderful mother.

As you know,
she's with child once more.

That'll make four.


That's quite a handful.

My life is chaos,
Mr. Crabb.

Utter, utter chaos.

I don't know when I last had
a good night's sleep.

And when it is quiet,

I lie awake worrying
about my girls.

How will they be affected
if war comes?

It's terrifying.

War brings changes, Roger.

We'll have to adapt.

Your daughters will adapt.

And we will do what we can
to help our young men

in every way that we can.

From the store?

Of course from the store.

You know what I think?

As long as His Majesty
has men of your caliber,

we shall be all right.

You're a true friend
and a decent gentleman.

Steady on, old stick.



It's quite a strong taste.

What do you think, Harry?


Not much,
I'm afraid.

Nearly as bad as those snails
we had in Paris

last time we were there.

That reminds me, Rose,

did you find your
mysterious Frenchman?

Mysterious Frenchman?

Do tell.


I saw Henri.

I went to his

Henri Leclair?

He's in London
and you didn't tell me?

It all backfired
on me, anyway.


I'll leave you ladies
to your supper.


See you at home, Rose.

Harry, wait!

Harry, let me explain.


Why did you do that?

Delphine, I was going
to explain to Harry

about Henri
in my own time.

I'm sorry, Rose.

I didn't mean to cause you
any trouble.

(fire crackling)

(door opens)


You were working
until now?

I went to a trade union

Are you all right, son?

I'm fine.

Things got a bit heated,

but it all got sorted
in the end.

I just wanted to see
what it was all about.

Well, you're
your own man now, son.

I understand
if you need to look

at different sides
to different stories.

Goodnight, Pa.

How it must sting,

being made to look a fool of
by a lowly shopkeeper.


I'm sorry about
Henri, Harry.

Just tell me where he is

and I'll go see him
first thing in the morning.

I don't think
that's a good idea.

Why not?

Things haven't turned out
too well for him.

You should have at least
just talked to me about this.

You don't involve me
in every part of your life.

You went to Delphine's today
without telling me.

That is completely different.

Henri is an old
and trusted friend.

Harry, I meant well.

I'm not going
to apologize again.

We used to share
everything, Rose.

That is what marriage
is supposed to be about.

Oh Harry, that's you all over.

You want marriage
when it suits you

and you drop it
when it doesn't.

I told you, I am trying
to make things right.

I am not the one who made
a mess of this marriage.

You are.

So you live
with the consequences.

God knows I've had to.