Mork & Mindy (1978–1982): Season 4, Episode 2 - The Wedding - full transcript
Against direct orders from Orson, Mork goes ahead with his plan to marry Mindy.
Na-no, na-no.
Here, Grandma. Put
this on your forehead.
No, dear. I'm
feeling better now.
All I want is a glass of water
and a small Scotch.
It's 9:00 in the morning. I'm
not gonna serve you Scotch.
Yes, yes. You're
right, dear. You're right.
Got any tequila?
Oh, Mindy, I'll be all right.
It's just that I was so shocked
at your changing your mind
and deciding to marry Mork.
But, dear, if that
is what you want,
then we are going to give
you a most beautiful wedding.
Well, thanks, Grandma. I just want a
small wedding. You know, just family.
Mm-hm.
Uh, you're gonna stay around while
I break the news to Dad, aren't you?
No. No, no, no.
You don't need me.
Your father is a kind,
loving, compassionate man.
And, uh, he'll understand.
Well, that helps.
Besides, I don't wanna
be here when he freaks.
I feel like a hamster
without a wheel.
I mean, I feel like a scuff
mark on the loafer of life.
Would you mind if
I broke every dish?
No! Don't break my dishes.
- What about this tacky lamp then?
- Mork.
- What happened to nonviolence?
- Mind, wake up. The '60s are over.
Mork, why are you
carrying on like this?
It's really no big deal, except
Orson forbids us to get married.
Oh, he does, does he?
Since when can Orson
tell us whether we
can get married or not?
Since 2 million years ago when
they outlawed marriage on Ork.
Well, I hope you told him
it's legal here on Earth.
You bet.
- Then what happened?
- He lit me up like Times Square.
Aah! Oh, baby, what's happening?
You know, things like that, Mind.
Mork, you just can't
accept his decision.
That really makes me
mad. We're getting married.
We don't have to get
anyone's permission.
- Hi, everybody.
- Permission for what?
Oh, uh, to tear the
tags off the pillows.
Ah.
Why don't you sit down?
And I'll fix you a nice breakfast.
- Eggs, Danish...
- Son-in-law.
I'll have a Danish.
A son-in-law?
Yeah. It's not exactly the way I
had planned to break it to you.
But, uh, yeah, uh, Mork and I
have decided to get married.
Over my dead body.
That'll trip us, Pop,
but it won't stop us.
Fred, that's terrible.
Oh, Mindy. I'm so
happy for you and Mork.
You know what? I wanna
throw you a shower.
No, no. No happy and no shower.
Mindy, I can't believe
after our discussion
that you would turn around
and do anything this...
Stupid?
- Thank you, Mork.
- You got it.
Now, get out of her life.
Dad, this isn't your
orchestra. You just can't
wave your baton
and tell us what to do.
Fred, pumpkin, why
are you so against
their getting married?
It's obvious they're in love.
Cathy, sweet potato,
I know what I'm doing.
Heh. Fred, poodle,
that's what you said
just before you put the
garage door on backwards.
Look, Cathy,
angel face, trust me.
They can't get married
because Mork is from... Uh...
He... Uh, they're from
two different worlds.
Fred, there's no reason
for us to get upset.
I understand this is a talk
between you and your daughter.
I'll go run some errands.
You two discuss it calmly,
and I'll abide by your decision.
Mindy, the shower is Saturday.
Oh. Oh. Oh.
Oh, idiot moi.
Hey, obviously you and your dad,
like, need some space here, okay?
And, uh, who am I to
intrude upon your privacy?
That's what makes me
different from Allen Funt.
I'll just be up here
knitting a Volkswagen.
Upstairs. Remember Broadway?
Have great rhythm
Now, look, Mindy, let's just
get one thing straight here.
Yes, Dad, lets.
Look, I love you very much and we
sure would like to have your blessing.
But we don't need anyone's
permission to get married.
You know something, Mindy?
You were a stubborn little girl
and you've grown
into a stubborn woman.
But I'll tell you something.
You've got a lot of...
You got a lot of moxie.
As a matter of fact, I'd
really be proud of you
if you weren't making
such a tragic mistake.
Okay, Dad. I'm sorry
you feel that way.
This is gonna hurt me more
than anything I've had to do before,
but if I have to, I'll walk
down that aisle alone.
You will over my dead body.
You have my blessing.
Thank you, soft touch.
Oh, thank you,
thank you, thank you!
Oh, mon cher Papa!
Oh, I love tweed. I love...
I'm gonna be your son-in-law,
and you can just call me Meathead.
You can count on it.
I better get back and turn
that garage door around
or Cathy will never forgive me.
What have I done?
Well, Mork, I've taken
care of my half of the galaxy.
The rest is up to you.
You've gotta talk to Orson.
Mm-mm. Oh. No, no, Mind. No way
I'm gonna go one on one with the big O.
If you deal with Orson the
way I just dealt with my father,
you can get him
to change his mind.
Mind, I'd rather join
the Libyan Air Force.
Look, Mork, come on. You
just gotta confront Orson.
- And you've gotta do it right away.
- Mind.
Look, Mork, our
future is in your hands.
Oh.
You're right, Mind. We have
an industrial-strength love.
I'm gonna stand up to him!
Mork calling Orson. Come
in, your Winnebagoship.
Be nice.
Come on, Mind. Ors
and I go back a long way.
He was my Little League
coach and the team bus.
Mork calling Orson,
come in, Orson.
Mork calling Orson,
come in, Orson.
Come on out. Show
your face. No one here?
Well, it's always cheaper
to call after 11 anyway.
What do you want,
Mork? I'm in a hurry.
I was just on my way
to the Intergalactic Wine
and Cheese Festival.
Well, sir, this will only take a second.
Remember what you said when I asked
if I could marry the marvelous,
mercurial Midwestern Mindy?
Yes. I said no Orkan
shall enter into marriage,
especially to a lower life-form,
one that still chews their food.
I was hoping you'd forgotten,
sir, but... I never really wanted to
challenge your authority, and
I hate to pooh-pooh your will,
but there is nothing that you can
do to stop me from marrying Mindy.
In that case, I'm going
to miss our little chats.
Heh. Oh, just kidding, sir.
You know, I don't know what gets
into my head sometimes. You know,
I don't really need
to marry Mindy.
Besides, her cooking
tastes like insulation.
I'm glad to hear
you say that, Mork.
But just remember,
if you defy me,
a hideous fate will befall you.
For example?
I will alter your
molecular structure
into a life-form that
will be more obedient.
Oh, ho. You want
obedience? Obedience are us.
You say jump, I say
how high? You say run,
I say how fast? You say
"Camptown," I say "doo-dah."
I've heard enough,
Mork. Hold your tongue.
Yes, sir. You've got it.
Did I startle you?
Not as much as if you'd
been Ethel Merman, but...
What happened?
You told Orson, right?
You confronted him and told him
that we were gonna be married?
Well...
He backed down,
right? Because you're
strong and brave with the
courage of your convictions.
Well...
And no force exists that can prevent
us from being married, right, Mork?
Well, those were my words exactly,
Mind. Um, you know, I told him I...
I really let him
have it. I leveled him.
- You did?
- I made him feel lower
than the price of
pork in Tel Aviv.
Let's just break out the
champagne right now.
Let's celebrate. Let's pop our
corks. The shampoo is champagne!
You're kidding, Mork?
We're really getting married?
- Oh, yes.
- Aah!
I can't believe it!
I'm so proud of you.
Mork has committed a
flagrant violation of Orkan law.
He will be severely punished.
This is the big day. - Yeah.
You want me to
help you with that?
No, I can get it. I'm not one
of those nervous brides-to-be.
Right.
Honey. Honey, take it easy.
Oh, honey, come on, sweetie.
Come on, sit down,
sit down, sit down.
All right, now just take it
easy, honey, and relax.
Here, I have something for you.
I gave this to your mother
on our wedding day,
and I know she'd
want you to have it.
Oh, Dad, her gold
four-leaf clover.
Yeah. I hope Mork
doesn't replant it.
It always brought
us a lot of luck.
Look who we got as a daughter.
Aw, Dad, it's beautiful. Thanks.
And thanks for always being
there when I needed you.
And I always will be.
- Just like that.
- Just like that.
Well, I guess I'd
better get to the chapel.
Just think, in a little while
you'll be Mrs. Mindy...
Mork doesn't have a last name.
Uh, what are you
gonna call yourselves?
Well, we've been
talking about last names.
He's torn between
Travolta and Pittsburgh.
But I think I can talk him
into McConnell or Phoenix.
Work on Phoenix.
I'll see you there.
Mork, we'd better get going.
What are you doing in there?
Oh, I'm just trying
to work on my hair
to achieve that
John Davidson look.
You can do that at the church.
We really should have
been there five minutes ago.
Okay, you're right. We
don't wanna be late, do we?
There'd be 100 rabid bingo fans
out there eating our smorgasbord.
Can you give me a
hand with the, uh... Ah!
Oh, yeah, you're probably gonna
need some help with that, won't you?
What is that?
What? Oh, this. Oh,
it's my morning coat.
Remember the guy with the
accent and the pins in his mouth.
- No! I'm talking about the hair!
- Mind, I told you I was working on it.
Not just the hair, the
ears and the nose.
Oh, that. Well, Orson's just turning
me into a dog. Come on, let's go.
Orson's turning you into a dog?
Yeah. You'll have to drive, Mind. I
wanna stick my head out the window.
Orson's turning you into a dog?
Um, yup. Level time, isn't it?
Well, Mind, um, I lied to you.
He really didn't give his permission
for me to marry you. I made my bed,
now I have to lie in it, if I'm
still allowed on the furniture.
Mork, we are getting married in
one hour. This is no time for jokes.
Ow! Ow! Ow! LBJ! LBJ!
- They're real!
- Of course, Mind.
You don't get this kind of
quality from a novelty shop.
I can't believe it.
This is happening.
This is really happening!
Mork, we gotta do
something. What can we do?
Well, I'm doing
it right now, Mind.
Listen, I'm using all my
will to reverse the process.
It's simply a case
of mind over matter.
Listen, we're gonna have
the wedding just as planned.
I mean, he can't
turn me into a dog.
Telegram for Mindy McConnell.
Stop it.
Sit!
Sit!
Leave them in the hall.
Oh, Mork, it's getting worse.
Your hair's getting longer
and you were barking.
I was?
Oh, Mork, I think you're losing control
of this. I think you're losing the battle.
Look at it this way, Mind. It
might be just a bad cough.
Could be worse. He might
have turned me into a blowfish
or a Stridex pad
or a lounge singer.
Mork, come on, you've gotta
fight. Try and stand up like a human.
I can't, Mind,
but I can do this.
How could Orson do this to us?
Quick, Mork,
we've gotta call him.
Plug me into your mind with you
and I'll talk him into changing you back.
Off!
What you have to do is
stick your finger in my ear
and with your other
hand scratch my head.
- I didn't have to do that the last time.
- But it sure will make me happy.
Just call him.
Mork calling Orson, come in.
Mork calling Orson, come in.
Where is Orson?
How can he keep
us on hold like this?
Call him again, Mork.
I guess I'm in this by myself.
Mindy calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
Where are you?
This is an emergency!
I'm here, Earthling.
What's the problem?
Don't they allow
pets in your building?
Down, boy. Mork, sit!
Out! Out!
Ah, you've kept his name.
I thought Scruffy would
be more appropriate.
How can you be so cruel?
You've stripped
him of his dignity!
You just can't go around
turning people into...
Mork, I'm trying to make
a point. Fetch, Mork!
I called the house.
They don't answer.
I called the police,
the hospitals. Nothing.
They were behind me when I left
them. I don't know what happened.
Oh, dear, I'm getting worried.
That's gotta be Mork. Nobody
knocks on a church door.
It's about time you answered.
I was getting a headache.
- Was he invited? FRED:
Unfortunately he's the best man.
I would have been here sooner, but it's
a little tough hitchhiking in this outfit.
Interesting jacket.
It's a suit. I lost the pants
crawling over the wall.
Excuse me, did you see Mork
and Mindy when you came in?
Not unless they're wearing
little red jackets and parking cars.
You mean they're not here yet?
Well, lucky for
you I'm an emcee.
You were about
to lose your crowd.
Dear friends...
we are gathered here
in this house of worship,
just two blocks south
of the House of Pies.
And speaking of pies, would
someone please explain to me
what is meant by
Black Forest cake?
Where is the Black Forest?
Do they have cakes hanging
from trees in the Black Forest?
But most important, Padre,
whatever happened
to Forrest Tucker?
Orson, I'm pleading with
you. How can you do this?
If you give Mork back to me, he'll
show you the values of being human.
If I had emotions, I'd probably
be very touched right now.
Then you're not gonna
change him back?
He broke the law.
Orson, we came here...
Mork.
Mork? Here boy!
All right, Orson. I just
want you to know one thing.
You may have
changed Mork physically,
but underneath all
this fur, he's still Mork.
He risked everything for
me so we could be married,
and your little punishment
isn't gonna change my plans.
I still love him and I'm going
through with this ceremony.
You're going to marry a dog?
No, I'm marrying Mork.
We'll see, but she sure
is a spunky little alien.
If you're not busy after the reception,
would you like to catch a white sale?
- I don't think so.
- I see. How about washing my hair?
Where's the groom?
Who invited a dog?
Phillipe, you're not
supposed to be here.
You're supposed to be
home taping the Ram game.
Oh, forget it. Sit in the pew.
Hello.
Uncle Ernie, you're out
on parole, good to see you.
Aunt Tilly, bleached
your mustache. Wonderful.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
today to join this man and this woman
in the holy bond of matrimony.
Be there anyone here
who opposes this union,
let them speak now
or forever remain silent.
Phew.
The rings, please.
Psst. The rings.
Talk to one another.
I'll be right with you.
I hope your next
wedding's casual.
And now, instead of
reciting the traditional vows,
Mork and Mindy have a few
words to say to one another. Mindy.
Mork, when you entered my life,
you brought me
happiness, joy and laughter.
My love for you
transcends time and space.
Grow with me, the
best is yet to be.
Mind, you're my friend,
my love, you're my life.
Supposed to be more but the lady in
the card shop said, "Buy or get out."
I don't know the right words.
Besides, I don't think there are enough
to describe how I really feel about you.
"Love" is a small word but
I think it covers so much.
I love you.
By the power vested in
me, by the state of Colorado,
I now pronounce you husband
and wife. You may kiss the bride.
Welcome to my
world, Mrs. Pittsburgh.
I can't believe it. We
really got married.
Just think, Mork. In 24 hours,
we'll be on a plane to Acapulco.
Oh, Acapulco is tres passé, Mind,
that's for bottled water salesmen.
We're gonna spend 25 days
and one beautiful night on Ork.
Ork?
Mind, Mind, Mind...
I've never been in
outer space before.
Will I even be able
to breathe on Ork?
Beats me, Mind,
but we'll find out.
Here, Grandma. Put
this on your forehead.
No, dear. I'm
feeling better now.
All I want is a glass of water
and a small Scotch.
It's 9:00 in the morning. I'm
not gonna serve you Scotch.
Yes, yes. You're
right, dear. You're right.
Got any tequila?
Oh, Mindy, I'll be all right.
It's just that I was so shocked
at your changing your mind
and deciding to marry Mork.
But, dear, if that
is what you want,
then we are going to give
you a most beautiful wedding.
Well, thanks, Grandma. I just want a
small wedding. You know, just family.
Mm-hm.
Uh, you're gonna stay around while
I break the news to Dad, aren't you?
No. No, no, no.
You don't need me.
Your father is a kind,
loving, compassionate man.
And, uh, he'll understand.
Well, that helps.
Besides, I don't wanna
be here when he freaks.
I feel like a hamster
without a wheel.
I mean, I feel like a scuff
mark on the loafer of life.
Would you mind if
I broke every dish?
No! Don't break my dishes.
- What about this tacky lamp then?
- Mork.
- What happened to nonviolence?
- Mind, wake up. The '60s are over.
Mork, why are you
carrying on like this?
It's really no big deal, except
Orson forbids us to get married.
Oh, he does, does he?
Since when can Orson
tell us whether we
can get married or not?
Since 2 million years ago when
they outlawed marriage on Ork.
Well, I hope you told him
it's legal here on Earth.
You bet.
- Then what happened?
- He lit me up like Times Square.
Aah! Oh, baby, what's happening?
You know, things like that, Mind.
Mork, you just can't
accept his decision.
That really makes me
mad. We're getting married.
We don't have to get
anyone's permission.
- Hi, everybody.
- Permission for what?
Oh, uh, to tear the
tags off the pillows.
Ah.
Why don't you sit down?
And I'll fix you a nice breakfast.
- Eggs, Danish...
- Son-in-law.
I'll have a Danish.
A son-in-law?
Yeah. It's not exactly the way I
had planned to break it to you.
But, uh, yeah, uh, Mork and I
have decided to get married.
Over my dead body.
That'll trip us, Pop,
but it won't stop us.
Fred, that's terrible.
Oh, Mindy. I'm so
happy for you and Mork.
You know what? I wanna
throw you a shower.
No, no. No happy and no shower.
Mindy, I can't believe
after our discussion
that you would turn around
and do anything this...
Stupid?
- Thank you, Mork.
- You got it.
Now, get out of her life.
Dad, this isn't your
orchestra. You just can't
wave your baton
and tell us what to do.
Fred, pumpkin, why
are you so against
their getting married?
It's obvious they're in love.
Cathy, sweet potato,
I know what I'm doing.
Heh. Fred, poodle,
that's what you said
just before you put the
garage door on backwards.
Look, Cathy,
angel face, trust me.
They can't get married
because Mork is from... Uh...
He... Uh, they're from
two different worlds.
Fred, there's no reason
for us to get upset.
I understand this is a talk
between you and your daughter.
I'll go run some errands.
You two discuss it calmly,
and I'll abide by your decision.
Mindy, the shower is Saturday.
Oh. Oh. Oh.
Oh, idiot moi.
Hey, obviously you and your dad,
like, need some space here, okay?
And, uh, who am I to
intrude upon your privacy?
That's what makes me
different from Allen Funt.
I'll just be up here
knitting a Volkswagen.
Upstairs. Remember Broadway?
Have great rhythm
Now, look, Mindy, let's just
get one thing straight here.
Yes, Dad, lets.
Look, I love you very much and we
sure would like to have your blessing.
But we don't need anyone's
permission to get married.
You know something, Mindy?
You were a stubborn little girl
and you've grown
into a stubborn woman.
But I'll tell you something.
You've got a lot of...
You got a lot of moxie.
As a matter of fact, I'd
really be proud of you
if you weren't making
such a tragic mistake.
Okay, Dad. I'm sorry
you feel that way.
This is gonna hurt me more
than anything I've had to do before,
but if I have to, I'll walk
down that aisle alone.
You will over my dead body.
You have my blessing.
Thank you, soft touch.
Oh, thank you,
thank you, thank you!
Oh, mon cher Papa!
Oh, I love tweed. I love...
I'm gonna be your son-in-law,
and you can just call me Meathead.
You can count on it.
I better get back and turn
that garage door around
or Cathy will never forgive me.
What have I done?
Well, Mork, I've taken
care of my half of the galaxy.
The rest is up to you.
You've gotta talk to Orson.
Mm-mm. Oh. No, no, Mind. No way
I'm gonna go one on one with the big O.
If you deal with Orson the
way I just dealt with my father,
you can get him
to change his mind.
Mind, I'd rather join
the Libyan Air Force.
Look, Mork, come on. You
just gotta confront Orson.
- And you've gotta do it right away.
- Mind.
Look, Mork, our
future is in your hands.
Oh.
You're right, Mind. We have
an industrial-strength love.
I'm gonna stand up to him!
Mork calling Orson. Come
in, your Winnebagoship.
Be nice.
Come on, Mind. Ors
and I go back a long way.
He was my Little League
coach and the team bus.
Mork calling Orson,
come in, Orson.
Mork calling Orson,
come in, Orson.
Come on out. Show
your face. No one here?
Well, it's always cheaper
to call after 11 anyway.
What do you want,
Mork? I'm in a hurry.
I was just on my way
to the Intergalactic Wine
and Cheese Festival.
Well, sir, this will only take a second.
Remember what you said when I asked
if I could marry the marvelous,
mercurial Midwestern Mindy?
Yes. I said no Orkan
shall enter into marriage,
especially to a lower life-form,
one that still chews their food.
I was hoping you'd forgotten,
sir, but... I never really wanted to
challenge your authority, and
I hate to pooh-pooh your will,
but there is nothing that you can
do to stop me from marrying Mindy.
In that case, I'm going
to miss our little chats.
Heh. Oh, just kidding, sir.
You know, I don't know what gets
into my head sometimes. You know,
I don't really need
to marry Mindy.
Besides, her cooking
tastes like insulation.
I'm glad to hear
you say that, Mork.
But just remember,
if you defy me,
a hideous fate will befall you.
For example?
I will alter your
molecular structure
into a life-form that
will be more obedient.
Oh, ho. You want
obedience? Obedience are us.
You say jump, I say
how high? You say run,
I say how fast? You say
"Camptown," I say "doo-dah."
I've heard enough,
Mork. Hold your tongue.
Yes, sir. You've got it.
Did I startle you?
Not as much as if you'd
been Ethel Merman, but...
What happened?
You told Orson, right?
You confronted him and told him
that we were gonna be married?
Well...
He backed down,
right? Because you're
strong and brave with the
courage of your convictions.
Well...
And no force exists that can prevent
us from being married, right, Mork?
Well, those were my words exactly,
Mind. Um, you know, I told him I...
I really let him
have it. I leveled him.
- You did?
- I made him feel lower
than the price of
pork in Tel Aviv.
Let's just break out the
champagne right now.
Let's celebrate. Let's pop our
corks. The shampoo is champagne!
You're kidding, Mork?
We're really getting married?
- Oh, yes.
- Aah!
I can't believe it!
I'm so proud of you.
Mork has committed a
flagrant violation of Orkan law.
He will be severely punished.
This is the big day. - Yeah.
You want me to
help you with that?
No, I can get it. I'm not one
of those nervous brides-to-be.
Right.
Honey. Honey, take it easy.
Oh, honey, come on, sweetie.
Come on, sit down,
sit down, sit down.
All right, now just take it
easy, honey, and relax.
Here, I have something for you.
I gave this to your mother
on our wedding day,
and I know she'd
want you to have it.
Oh, Dad, her gold
four-leaf clover.
Yeah. I hope Mork
doesn't replant it.
It always brought
us a lot of luck.
Look who we got as a daughter.
Aw, Dad, it's beautiful. Thanks.
And thanks for always being
there when I needed you.
And I always will be.
- Just like that.
- Just like that.
Well, I guess I'd
better get to the chapel.
Just think, in a little while
you'll be Mrs. Mindy...
Mork doesn't have a last name.
Uh, what are you
gonna call yourselves?
Well, we've been
talking about last names.
He's torn between
Travolta and Pittsburgh.
But I think I can talk him
into McConnell or Phoenix.
Work on Phoenix.
I'll see you there.
Mork, we'd better get going.
What are you doing in there?
Oh, I'm just trying
to work on my hair
to achieve that
John Davidson look.
You can do that at the church.
We really should have
been there five minutes ago.
Okay, you're right. We
don't wanna be late, do we?
There'd be 100 rabid bingo fans
out there eating our smorgasbord.
Can you give me a
hand with the, uh... Ah!
Oh, yeah, you're probably gonna
need some help with that, won't you?
What is that?
What? Oh, this. Oh,
it's my morning coat.
Remember the guy with the
accent and the pins in his mouth.
- No! I'm talking about the hair!
- Mind, I told you I was working on it.
Not just the hair, the
ears and the nose.
Oh, that. Well, Orson's just turning
me into a dog. Come on, let's go.
Orson's turning you into a dog?
Yeah. You'll have to drive, Mind. I
wanna stick my head out the window.
Orson's turning you into a dog?
Um, yup. Level time, isn't it?
Well, Mind, um, I lied to you.
He really didn't give his permission
for me to marry you. I made my bed,
now I have to lie in it, if I'm
still allowed on the furniture.
Mork, we are getting married in
one hour. This is no time for jokes.
Ow! Ow! Ow! LBJ! LBJ!
- They're real!
- Of course, Mind.
You don't get this kind of
quality from a novelty shop.
I can't believe it.
This is happening.
This is really happening!
Mork, we gotta do
something. What can we do?
Well, I'm doing
it right now, Mind.
Listen, I'm using all my
will to reverse the process.
It's simply a case
of mind over matter.
Listen, we're gonna have
the wedding just as planned.
I mean, he can't
turn me into a dog.
Telegram for Mindy McConnell.
Stop it.
Sit!
Sit!
Leave them in the hall.
Oh, Mork, it's getting worse.
Your hair's getting longer
and you were barking.
I was?
Oh, Mork, I think you're losing control
of this. I think you're losing the battle.
Look at it this way, Mind. It
might be just a bad cough.
Could be worse. He might
have turned me into a blowfish
or a Stridex pad
or a lounge singer.
Mork, come on, you've gotta
fight. Try and stand up like a human.
I can't, Mind,
but I can do this.
How could Orson do this to us?
Quick, Mork,
we've gotta call him.
Plug me into your mind with you
and I'll talk him into changing you back.
Off!
What you have to do is
stick your finger in my ear
and with your other
hand scratch my head.
- I didn't have to do that the last time.
- But it sure will make me happy.
Just call him.
Mork calling Orson, come in.
Mork calling Orson, come in.
Where is Orson?
How can he keep
us on hold like this?
Call him again, Mork.
I guess I'm in this by myself.
Mindy calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
Where are you?
This is an emergency!
I'm here, Earthling.
What's the problem?
Don't they allow
pets in your building?
Down, boy. Mork, sit!
Out! Out!
Ah, you've kept his name.
I thought Scruffy would
be more appropriate.
How can you be so cruel?
You've stripped
him of his dignity!
You just can't go around
turning people into...
Mork, I'm trying to make
a point. Fetch, Mork!
I called the house.
They don't answer.
I called the police,
the hospitals. Nothing.
They were behind me when I left
them. I don't know what happened.
Oh, dear, I'm getting worried.
That's gotta be Mork. Nobody
knocks on a church door.
It's about time you answered.
I was getting a headache.
- Was he invited? FRED:
Unfortunately he's the best man.
I would have been here sooner, but it's
a little tough hitchhiking in this outfit.
Interesting jacket.
It's a suit. I lost the pants
crawling over the wall.
Excuse me, did you see Mork
and Mindy when you came in?
Not unless they're wearing
little red jackets and parking cars.
You mean they're not here yet?
Well, lucky for
you I'm an emcee.
You were about
to lose your crowd.
Dear friends...
we are gathered here
in this house of worship,
just two blocks south
of the House of Pies.
And speaking of pies, would
someone please explain to me
what is meant by
Black Forest cake?
Where is the Black Forest?
Do they have cakes hanging
from trees in the Black Forest?
But most important, Padre,
whatever happened
to Forrest Tucker?
Orson, I'm pleading with
you. How can you do this?
If you give Mork back to me, he'll
show you the values of being human.
If I had emotions, I'd probably
be very touched right now.
Then you're not gonna
change him back?
He broke the law.
Orson, we came here...
Mork.
Mork? Here boy!
All right, Orson. I just
want you to know one thing.
You may have
changed Mork physically,
but underneath all
this fur, he's still Mork.
He risked everything for
me so we could be married,
and your little punishment
isn't gonna change my plans.
I still love him and I'm going
through with this ceremony.
You're going to marry a dog?
No, I'm marrying Mork.
We'll see, but she sure
is a spunky little alien.
If you're not busy after the reception,
would you like to catch a white sale?
- I don't think so.
- I see. How about washing my hair?
Where's the groom?
Who invited a dog?
Phillipe, you're not
supposed to be here.
You're supposed to be
home taping the Ram game.
Oh, forget it. Sit in the pew.
Hello.
Uncle Ernie, you're out
on parole, good to see you.
Aunt Tilly, bleached
your mustache. Wonderful.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
today to join this man and this woman
in the holy bond of matrimony.
Be there anyone here
who opposes this union,
let them speak now
or forever remain silent.
Phew.
The rings, please.
Psst. The rings.
Talk to one another.
I'll be right with you.
I hope your next
wedding's casual.
And now, instead of
reciting the traditional vows,
Mork and Mindy have a few
words to say to one another. Mindy.
Mork, when you entered my life,
you brought me
happiness, joy and laughter.
My love for you
transcends time and space.
Grow with me, the
best is yet to be.
Mind, you're my friend,
my love, you're my life.
Supposed to be more but the lady in
the card shop said, "Buy or get out."
I don't know the right words.
Besides, I don't think there are enough
to describe how I really feel about you.
"Love" is a small word but
I think it covers so much.
I love you.
By the power vested in
me, by the state of Colorado,
I now pronounce you husband
and wife. You may kiss the bride.
Welcome to my
world, Mrs. Pittsburgh.
I can't believe it. We
really got married.
Just think, Mork. In 24 hours,
we'll be on a plane to Acapulco.
Oh, Acapulco is tres passé, Mind,
that's for bottled water salesmen.
We're gonna spend 25 days
and one beautiful night on Ork.
Ork?
Mind, Mind, Mind...
I've never been in
outer space before.
Will I even be able
to breathe on Ork?
Beats me, Mind,
but we'll find out.