Mork & Mindy (1978–1982): Season 4, Episode 1 - Limited Engagement - full transcript
Mork proposes to Mindy.
Na-no, na-no.
Well, I gotta go, Mork.
Keep your fingers
crossed for me.
Or whatever you
Orkans do for luck.
Oh, look at all the flowers.
Mork, the room looks beautiful.
I know, Mind, and not a
single Medfly in the bunch.
Oh, Mork.
- Titter, titter, blush, blush, blush.
- Oh, Mork.
Hi. Ha, ha.
Oh, Mork, this is so sweet
of you to do this for me.
But you're a little premature.
I'm not gonna know
about the newscaster job
till this afternoon. But thanks.
Oh, down, boy. Mork,
down, boy, down, boy.
Mind, Mind, Mind...
Go ahead tell her. No, I can't.
Oh, tell her. Tell her. I can't.
Oh, come on, tell her. Oh,
I'm cramping up emotionally.
Just tell her. You can
do it. Tell her, tell her...
Mork, I'm gonna
have to wait later.
Sorry, wait. I'm... Oh, wait.
Just tell her. Tell her. It's okay.
It's all right.
Mindy, you hold my three
hearts in your two hands.
Basically, what
I'd like to say is,
will you marry me, Mind?
Mind?
The shiksa split.
Make a small mental note:
It's always better to propose
while she's in the room.
- Mork?
- Mind, oh, you say the magic words.
Roast. Don't forget
to put it in the oven.
Bye.
All that love for
a hunk of meat.
I blew my big moment.
I was there. I blew it.
Fore!
This is not the
American embassy!
Mind if I play through?
Exidor, is that you?
That's what it says
on my scorecard.
Try a five iron?
Pepe, that's why you're a
caddy and I'm on the tour.
I always like
playing this course.
So well-tended.
Those are for Mindy. I
tried to propose to her.
- What did she say?
- Put the roast in the oven.
So that's where it goes.
Mork, you can join
me on my crusade.
I'm going to take
golf from the rich
and give it to the poor.
We'll play in the
streets with real hazards,
like gang violence and mopeds.
Exidor, you've got to help me,
please. I mean, you know everything.
I mean, you even know the
color of Ronald Reagan's real hair.
Please, please, how do...?
How do I propose to Mindy?
Ditch the skirt, Mork.
Yes, but I love Mindy.
Isn't marriage the ultimate
commitment, the eternal bond,
besides a wicked tax break?
It's a sham.
- It's a blessing.
- It's barbaric.
- It's fulfilling.
- It's a candy mint.
- It's a breath mint.
- Oh, stop.
We're both right.
Exidor, please, please,
pull out your putter
and drive me out of this sand
trap of life into the fairway of love.
Mork, there's only
two ways to propose.
B, the old-fashioned way.
You charge into her life
on a fiery white stallion,
toss the tomato on
the back of the saddle
and ride off into the sunset.
I guess the old-fashioned
way is always best
unless you're having
a heart transplant, but...
Well, then you're stuck with C.
- I don't mean to pry, but what's C?
- Hmm?
- C?
- Oh, C.
Well, Mork, I must say
that it's a boring choice,
but it worked for
Prince Charles.
I look a lot less like
Howdy Doody than he does.
Mork.
This may shock and
even nauseate you.
That's all right. I subscribe
to the National Enquirer.
Bunny, I may not be
the handsomest man,
or the brightest,
or the wealthiest
man in the world,
but I've got his phone number.
Okay, okay.
Okay. Let's see.
Did she come in yet?
Okay.
On your mark, get set, propose.
- Mindy, I...
- You know,
sometimes I wish I
was the garbage man,
when they wake up in the morning,
they expect the world to stink.
Mind, although we've
only known each other now
for 26,802 hours,
I feel basically...
Well, I didn't get
the newscaster job.
But am I bitter? No.
Mr. Sternhagen said it had nothing
to do with my being a woman,
it's just that he needed a shortstop
for the station's softball team.
Mind... It's hard to propose
to a moving target. Mind.
- Mindy...
- Oh, I gotta get my mind off this.
I know, let's go do something
fun. You wanna play tennis?
- Oh, I...
- Or we'll do anything.
I'd love to play "Space Invaders."
Go for some pizza, maybe get married.
No, we had Italian
food last night.
Cute, but not the
greatest attention span.
Eenie, meenie,
minie, mo, you die.
- Thanks.
- Mind,
you know, I've traveled
all around the galaxy,
and I never thought
I'd fall for an Earthling.
Oh, Mork.
You know, I don't think I know
a nicer or kinder
being than you.
I love you very much,
and will you marry me?
Mind?
Hon, don't check out
without the baggage. Mind.
Mind. Mind.
Little Pooter. Heh. Mind.
Hello, everybody.
- What's wrong with Mindy?
- I don't know, Grams.
All I did was ask her to marry me and,
boom, she's got the personality of lint.
- Marry?
- Yes, sir, I think...
Marry my daughter?
Oh, yes, thank you
for your blessing.
Blessing? I'll give
you a blessing.
Wouldn't hit a man standing behind a
woman wearing glasses, would you?
Married.
You know, I think that we three
should have a talk right now.
- Come on.
- Okay.
I don't think we should
neglect Mindy like this.
- Honey, come on.
- Hi, Dad.
You know, Pops,
wherever Mindy goes, I go,
because basically
we're a unit, right?
Okay, but since we're almost
family, I can make one exception.
Now, honey, let me see if I
can... I can say this tactfully.
Mork is an alien.
He's an extraterrestrial being.
A UFO with legs.
Oh, pipe down, Fredzo.
You don't mind having that
alien sit on your television
so you can bring in
20 extra channels.
A television antenna is one
thing, a son-in-law is another.
Don't talk to me
about a son-in-law.
Come on, you two.
All right. Technically, we all
know Mork isn't exactly human,
but he has a lot more humanity
in him than anyone I've ever met.
He's sweet, he's
charming, he's sensitive,
and I love him.
Uh, Mindy, you loved Oliver
too, but you got over him.
Oliver was a goldfish.
And he went belly-up.
Will you talk some
sense into him, please?
Oh, Mindy dear,
we all love Mork.
Yes, and we don't mind if
he still likes to chase cars
or sit on his face,
but you see, you mustn't
let love spoil your judgment.
Mindy, any mixed
marriage is rough.
Yes, but I'm afraid
this one is impossible.
Mindy, look at the facts.
Mork can never support you.
So I'll be the breadwinner.
I want a career.
What happens to your career if
he's transferred to another planet?
I'll commute.
Mindy, think.
Mork is an Orkan and
he's aging backwards.
You'll be on Medicare,
he'll be on pablum.
Dear, you will never be
able to have a normal life.
And what about having a family?
The chances are, you can't.
Oh, Mindy, we don't like
to see you cheated out
of having something
as precious as children.
Honey, it's your decision,
and we just want
you to be realistic.
And sometimes that's the
hardest thing in the world.
I always thought my life
would be like a Doris Day movie,
not Barbarella.
How do I weigh what I feel
against what I know is logical?
Honey, I think you know
exactly what has to be done.
Will you folks talk a little louder?
I can't hear a word you're saying!
This is gonna be a
lot harder than it was
to flush Oliver down the toilet.
Mind, you've been in there all
night. Are you gonna come out?
Yes.
Yes. She said, "Yes."
Mind, Mind, Mind. Oh,
yes, Mind, Mind, Mind, look.
Oh, Mork.
Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, Mork, it's a beautiful ring.
- Look at the jewels, they're sparkling.
- Uh-huh.
- They're glittering.
- Mm-hm.
- They're moving.
- Yeah.
Those are his
eyes. He's blinking.
- Him? He's alive?
- Yep.
Oh, don't do that.
You'll give him whiplash.
See, the nice thing about it is, if
you drop it, he'll follow you home.
It's a very nice ring,
but I can't accept it.
You don't want the
engagement ring?
- Oh, Mork.
- Mind?
It's not the ring.
See, Mork, sometimes in life,
no matter how much you dream
or you wish for
something, it just can't be.
I guess what I'm really trying
to say is, I can't marry you.
Pshaw, Mind, it's a joke,
right, like the volunteer Army?
Rejection.
Okay. You don't
wanna be Mrs. Mork?
Mind, Mind, Mind, but...
Mind, will you give me one
reason why we can't get married,
bicker, and learn to play
canasta for the rest of our lives?
I can't lie to you,
and it really hurts
me to have to say this.
- It's because you're an alien.
- And?
And? And that's it.
Don't you see? We're from
two completely different worlds.
Oh, Mind, Mind, that never affected,
like, Grace Kelly and Prince Rainier.
I mean, Pocahontas and John Smith,
or Mickey Rooney and pick-a-number.
Mind, come on now.
Mind, I'm not gonna give up.
- No way, like glue, I'm stuck on you.
- Oh, come on. Deep down inside,
you know there's probably a
barrier that shouldn't be crossed.
Yeah, but you said you
loved me, you know, love me.
You know, L-O-V-V.
Mork, I said that and I meant it,
but I'm sorry, my mind is made up.
Oh, but, Mind, you took more
time to make up your mind
about your bathroom wallpaper.
I mean more to you
than that, don't I?
You do.
Well, just...
Well, just take some
time, you know?
I mean, just 24 hours. Please,
Mind, Mind, Mind, please.
Please, oh, please, oh, please
All right.
Tell you what, tell you
what. It's 11:59 now.
Because I like what you stand
for even when you're sitting,
I'll give you the extra minute and
make it midnight tomorrow night.
Okay, but I can't
promise anything.
- Right.
- All right. Good night.
Good night. Remember, you
changed your mind about the wallpaper.
Mork promo, take one.
You will marry Mork.
You love Mork. Mork loves you.
Mork is great.
He's a today kind of guy.
Lock up when you leave.
- Jake?
- Hmm?
Let's have a
heart-to-heart talk.
You and I haven't
had one for a long time.
We never had one.
Well, then I guess
we're overdue.
See, I have this really
important decision
that I have to make
in about two hours.
Now, logically, I know
what the answer should be,
but emotionally, I feel
exactly the opposite.
You've been around for a
while. What do you usually do?
Do you think with your
head or with your heart?
Mindy, a lot of
people think of me
as just old Jake the cameraman,
that I care about nothing
except staying in focus
and going home early.
They think I don't care about
anybody else's problems
because nobody cares about mine.
Well, you know
something? They're right.
Never did like Old Jake.
Mork, what are you doing?
Mind, I've come to
sweep you off your feet.
- Oh, my God.
- Give me your foot. Here we go.
Ugh. Big lunch, Mind?
This is ridiculous.
No, it's romantic. We're
gonna ride off into the sunset.
The sun set four hours ago.
I guess we better haul it then.
- Mork...
- Mind, Mind, Mind.
Mork!
That's all right, Mind.
I'll catch the next one.
Well, you really topped
yourself that time, Mork.
Yeah, I guess you've never ridden a
pony through a car wash before, huh?
Boy, he scampered
when he hit that hot wax.
You haven't had a date
like that with an earthman.
You're right there.
Mork, it's almost midnight. I
think we should sit down and talk.
Mind, there's enough
time for the grand finale.
Oh, Mork, you
don't need a finale.
Oh, I sure do,
and you'll love this.
Put the tape in the tape
recorder down there, please.
This one marked Last Ditch Effort?
- That's it.
Oh, Mork, you've given me flowers
and perfume and horses. What's left?
Broadway! Hit it, Mind.
Got my top hat
Got my vest pressed
All I need now is the girl
Got my striped tie
Got my hopes high
Got the time and the
place And I've got rhythm
All I need now is
the girl to go with
Hey.
Hey, ho.
Boy, they really screwed this game
up when they added the ball, Mind.
- Oh, no, Mork.
- Mind.
You see this guy
This guy's in love with you
Seriously, where are you from?
Yes, I'm in love
What do I do to make you mine?
You know it.
Tell me now
Is it so? Don't let me
be the last to know
Because...
I want to be happy
But I won't be happy
Till I make you happy too
Oh, no, Mindy, no.
Life's really worth living
When you are mirth givin'
Why can't I give some to you?
You know it's true, baby.
Oh, Mork.
Did I close out of town?
Oh, Mork.
Before I met you,
the biggest choice I
had to make in my life
was whether to have my
hair permed or fix the cat.
This is the hardest decision
I've ever had to make.
Maybe the decision's
been made for you, Mind.
I mean, think about it.
I crossed five galaxies,
came to this little tiny planet and
out of all those people in the world,
you found me
and we fell in love.
Coincidence? I say nay.
Maybe some infinite
intelligence in this cosmos
as we peer out,
realizes that we were
meant to be married
and all mankind.
I wish I could believe that.
I wish you could
believe that too, Mind.
I'll send by Exidor
to pick up my clothes.
Why? You don't have to go.
I don't want you to go.
You could go, but the
lease is in your name.
Just because we can't be married
doesn't mean we have
to end our relationship.
I mean, why can't we just
go on being the way we are?
I love you.
I couldn't stay here knowing
that you'll never be mine.
But it doesn't
have to be like that.
If it were the other way
around, could you stay?
No.
Well, big kiss.
I know how easily you run
down, so don't skip breakfast.
And don't forget to
take your Femiron.
- Mork.
- Yeah?
Goodbye.
Mork.
You don't want me to go, do you?
You can read minds too?
No, but I can read your face.
Oh, Mork, if I married you,
I'd be giving up any chance I
might have to have a normal life.
But if I lost you...
- Will you marry me?
- What?
Will you marry me?
This is so sudden.
I'll need some time.
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
Mork calling Orson. Come in,
Your Battle of the Bulgeness.
- Mork.
- Sir.
Do you always have to
report when I'm eating?
Well, sir, I could wait, but the Earth's
sun does have a limited lifespan.
After that comment, you'd
better have an interesting report.
Well, sir, you're gonna
decorate me for this one.
You see, Mindy and I have
signed up for a full lifetime term
in the most noble of
all institutions, marriage.
What?
Sir?
Do I detect a note of jealousy
or are you coughing on a bone?
Mork, no Orkan has entered into
a marriage since our dark ages.
You've broken one of our
most fundamental Orkan laws.
Correct the matter at once.
All right, sir. I'll correct
the problem. I quit.
I abdicate my post
for the woman I love.
Mork, you can't abdicate.
I'm giving you an order.
- Carry it out or else.
- Oh, yeah?
I'm marrying Mindy and
you just try and stop me.
That's a nice try there, sir.
Don't you understand though?
On Earth when man and
woman love each other...
- Silence!
- Sir.
The matter is closed.
Until next week, Mork. Na-no.
Yeah, all right. Uh-huh.
The old silent treatment, eh?
I am staying right on this spot
until you let me marry Mindy.
I have patience. I can wait.
I once sat through an entire
Bobby Vinton concert. Right.
Well, I gotta go, Mork.
Keep your fingers
crossed for me.
Or whatever you
Orkans do for luck.
Oh, look at all the flowers.
Mork, the room looks beautiful.
I know, Mind, and not a
single Medfly in the bunch.
Oh, Mork.
- Titter, titter, blush, blush, blush.
- Oh, Mork.
Hi. Ha, ha.
Oh, Mork, this is so sweet
of you to do this for me.
But you're a little premature.
I'm not gonna know
about the newscaster job
till this afternoon. But thanks.
Oh, down, boy. Mork,
down, boy, down, boy.
Mind, Mind, Mind...
Go ahead tell her. No, I can't.
Oh, tell her. Tell her. I can't.
Oh, come on, tell her. Oh,
I'm cramping up emotionally.
Just tell her. You can
do it. Tell her, tell her...
Mork, I'm gonna
have to wait later.
Sorry, wait. I'm... Oh, wait.
Just tell her. Tell her. It's okay.
It's all right.
Mindy, you hold my three
hearts in your two hands.
Basically, what
I'd like to say is,
will you marry me, Mind?
Mind?
The shiksa split.
Make a small mental note:
It's always better to propose
while she's in the room.
- Mork?
- Mind, oh, you say the magic words.
Roast. Don't forget
to put it in the oven.
Bye.
All that love for
a hunk of meat.
I blew my big moment.
I was there. I blew it.
Fore!
This is not the
American embassy!
Mind if I play through?
Exidor, is that you?
That's what it says
on my scorecard.
Try a five iron?
Pepe, that's why you're a
caddy and I'm on the tour.
I always like
playing this course.
So well-tended.
Those are for Mindy. I
tried to propose to her.
- What did she say?
- Put the roast in the oven.
So that's where it goes.
Mork, you can join
me on my crusade.
I'm going to take
golf from the rich
and give it to the poor.
We'll play in the
streets with real hazards,
like gang violence and mopeds.
Exidor, you've got to help me,
please. I mean, you know everything.
I mean, you even know the
color of Ronald Reagan's real hair.
Please, please, how do...?
How do I propose to Mindy?
Ditch the skirt, Mork.
Yes, but I love Mindy.
Isn't marriage the ultimate
commitment, the eternal bond,
besides a wicked tax break?
It's a sham.
- It's a blessing.
- It's barbaric.
- It's fulfilling.
- It's a candy mint.
- It's a breath mint.
- Oh, stop.
We're both right.
Exidor, please, please,
pull out your putter
and drive me out of this sand
trap of life into the fairway of love.
Mork, there's only
two ways to propose.
B, the old-fashioned way.
You charge into her life
on a fiery white stallion,
toss the tomato on
the back of the saddle
and ride off into the sunset.
I guess the old-fashioned
way is always best
unless you're having
a heart transplant, but...
Well, then you're stuck with C.
- I don't mean to pry, but what's C?
- Hmm?
- C?
- Oh, C.
Well, Mork, I must say
that it's a boring choice,
but it worked for
Prince Charles.
I look a lot less like
Howdy Doody than he does.
Mork.
This may shock and
even nauseate you.
That's all right. I subscribe
to the National Enquirer.
Bunny, I may not be
the handsomest man,
or the brightest,
or the wealthiest
man in the world,
but I've got his phone number.
Okay, okay.
Okay. Let's see.
Did she come in yet?
Okay.
On your mark, get set, propose.
- Mindy, I...
- You know,
sometimes I wish I
was the garbage man,
when they wake up in the morning,
they expect the world to stink.
Mind, although we've
only known each other now
for 26,802 hours,
I feel basically...
Well, I didn't get
the newscaster job.
But am I bitter? No.
Mr. Sternhagen said it had nothing
to do with my being a woman,
it's just that he needed a shortstop
for the station's softball team.
Mind... It's hard to propose
to a moving target. Mind.
- Mindy...
- Oh, I gotta get my mind off this.
I know, let's go do something
fun. You wanna play tennis?
- Oh, I...
- Or we'll do anything.
I'd love to play "Space Invaders."
Go for some pizza, maybe get married.
No, we had Italian
food last night.
Cute, but not the
greatest attention span.
Eenie, meenie,
minie, mo, you die.
- Thanks.
- Mind,
you know, I've traveled
all around the galaxy,
and I never thought
I'd fall for an Earthling.
Oh, Mork.
You know, I don't think I know
a nicer or kinder
being than you.
I love you very much,
and will you marry me?
Mind?
Hon, don't check out
without the baggage. Mind.
Mind. Mind.
Little Pooter. Heh. Mind.
Hello, everybody.
- What's wrong with Mindy?
- I don't know, Grams.
All I did was ask her to marry me and,
boom, she's got the personality of lint.
- Marry?
- Yes, sir, I think...
Marry my daughter?
Oh, yes, thank you
for your blessing.
Blessing? I'll give
you a blessing.
Wouldn't hit a man standing behind a
woman wearing glasses, would you?
Married.
You know, I think that we three
should have a talk right now.
- Come on.
- Okay.
I don't think we should
neglect Mindy like this.
- Honey, come on.
- Hi, Dad.
You know, Pops,
wherever Mindy goes, I go,
because basically
we're a unit, right?
Okay, but since we're almost
family, I can make one exception.
Now, honey, let me see if I
can... I can say this tactfully.
Mork is an alien.
He's an extraterrestrial being.
A UFO with legs.
Oh, pipe down, Fredzo.
You don't mind having that
alien sit on your television
so you can bring in
20 extra channels.
A television antenna is one
thing, a son-in-law is another.
Don't talk to me
about a son-in-law.
Come on, you two.
All right. Technically, we all
know Mork isn't exactly human,
but he has a lot more humanity
in him than anyone I've ever met.
He's sweet, he's
charming, he's sensitive,
and I love him.
Uh, Mindy, you loved Oliver
too, but you got over him.
Oliver was a goldfish.
And he went belly-up.
Will you talk some
sense into him, please?
Oh, Mindy dear,
we all love Mork.
Yes, and we don't mind if
he still likes to chase cars
or sit on his face,
but you see, you mustn't
let love spoil your judgment.
Mindy, any mixed
marriage is rough.
Yes, but I'm afraid
this one is impossible.
Mindy, look at the facts.
Mork can never support you.
So I'll be the breadwinner.
I want a career.
What happens to your career if
he's transferred to another planet?
I'll commute.
Mindy, think.
Mork is an Orkan and
he's aging backwards.
You'll be on Medicare,
he'll be on pablum.
Dear, you will never be
able to have a normal life.
And what about having a family?
The chances are, you can't.
Oh, Mindy, we don't like
to see you cheated out
of having something
as precious as children.
Honey, it's your decision,
and we just want
you to be realistic.
And sometimes that's the
hardest thing in the world.
I always thought my life
would be like a Doris Day movie,
not Barbarella.
How do I weigh what I feel
against what I know is logical?
Honey, I think you know
exactly what has to be done.
Will you folks talk a little louder?
I can't hear a word you're saying!
This is gonna be a
lot harder than it was
to flush Oliver down the toilet.
Mind, you've been in there all
night. Are you gonna come out?
Yes.
Yes. She said, "Yes."
Mind, Mind, Mind. Oh,
yes, Mind, Mind, Mind, look.
Oh, Mork.
Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, Mork, it's a beautiful ring.
- Look at the jewels, they're sparkling.
- Uh-huh.
- They're glittering.
- Mm-hm.
- They're moving.
- Yeah.
Those are his
eyes. He's blinking.
- Him? He's alive?
- Yep.
Oh, don't do that.
You'll give him whiplash.
See, the nice thing about it is, if
you drop it, he'll follow you home.
It's a very nice ring,
but I can't accept it.
You don't want the
engagement ring?
- Oh, Mork.
- Mind?
It's not the ring.
See, Mork, sometimes in life,
no matter how much you dream
or you wish for
something, it just can't be.
I guess what I'm really trying
to say is, I can't marry you.
Pshaw, Mind, it's a joke,
right, like the volunteer Army?
Rejection.
Okay. You don't
wanna be Mrs. Mork?
Mind, Mind, Mind, but...
Mind, will you give me one
reason why we can't get married,
bicker, and learn to play
canasta for the rest of our lives?
I can't lie to you,
and it really hurts
me to have to say this.
- It's because you're an alien.
- And?
And? And that's it.
Don't you see? We're from
two completely different worlds.
Oh, Mind, Mind, that never affected,
like, Grace Kelly and Prince Rainier.
I mean, Pocahontas and John Smith,
or Mickey Rooney and pick-a-number.
Mind, come on now.
Mind, I'm not gonna give up.
- No way, like glue, I'm stuck on you.
- Oh, come on. Deep down inside,
you know there's probably a
barrier that shouldn't be crossed.
Yeah, but you said you
loved me, you know, love me.
You know, L-O-V-V.
Mork, I said that and I meant it,
but I'm sorry, my mind is made up.
Oh, but, Mind, you took more
time to make up your mind
about your bathroom wallpaper.
I mean more to you
than that, don't I?
You do.
Well, just...
Well, just take some
time, you know?
I mean, just 24 hours. Please,
Mind, Mind, Mind, please.
Please, oh, please, oh, please
All right.
Tell you what, tell you
what. It's 11:59 now.
Because I like what you stand
for even when you're sitting,
I'll give you the extra minute and
make it midnight tomorrow night.
Okay, but I can't
promise anything.
- Right.
- All right. Good night.
Good night. Remember, you
changed your mind about the wallpaper.
Mork promo, take one.
You will marry Mork.
You love Mork. Mork loves you.
Mork is great.
He's a today kind of guy.
Lock up when you leave.
- Jake?
- Hmm?
Let's have a
heart-to-heart talk.
You and I haven't
had one for a long time.
We never had one.
Well, then I guess
we're overdue.
See, I have this really
important decision
that I have to make
in about two hours.
Now, logically, I know
what the answer should be,
but emotionally, I feel
exactly the opposite.
You've been around for a
while. What do you usually do?
Do you think with your
head or with your heart?
Mindy, a lot of
people think of me
as just old Jake the cameraman,
that I care about nothing
except staying in focus
and going home early.
They think I don't care about
anybody else's problems
because nobody cares about mine.
Well, you know
something? They're right.
Never did like Old Jake.
Mork, what are you doing?
Mind, I've come to
sweep you off your feet.
- Oh, my God.
- Give me your foot. Here we go.
Ugh. Big lunch, Mind?
This is ridiculous.
No, it's romantic. We're
gonna ride off into the sunset.
The sun set four hours ago.
I guess we better haul it then.
- Mork...
- Mind, Mind, Mind.
Mork!
That's all right, Mind.
I'll catch the next one.
Well, you really topped
yourself that time, Mork.
Yeah, I guess you've never ridden a
pony through a car wash before, huh?
Boy, he scampered
when he hit that hot wax.
You haven't had a date
like that with an earthman.
You're right there.
Mork, it's almost midnight. I
think we should sit down and talk.
Mind, there's enough
time for the grand finale.
Oh, Mork, you
don't need a finale.
Oh, I sure do,
and you'll love this.
Put the tape in the tape
recorder down there, please.
This one marked Last Ditch Effort?
- That's it.
Oh, Mork, you've given me flowers
and perfume and horses. What's left?
Broadway! Hit it, Mind.
Got my top hat
Got my vest pressed
All I need now is the girl
Got my striped tie
Got my hopes high
Got the time and the
place And I've got rhythm
All I need now is
the girl to go with
Hey.
Hey, ho.
Boy, they really screwed this game
up when they added the ball, Mind.
- Oh, no, Mork.
- Mind.
You see this guy
This guy's in love with you
Seriously, where are you from?
Yes, I'm in love
What do I do to make you mine?
You know it.
Tell me now
Is it so? Don't let me
be the last to know
Because...
I want to be happy
But I won't be happy
Till I make you happy too
Oh, no, Mindy, no.
Life's really worth living
When you are mirth givin'
Why can't I give some to you?
You know it's true, baby.
Oh, Mork.
Did I close out of town?
Oh, Mork.
Before I met you,
the biggest choice I
had to make in my life
was whether to have my
hair permed or fix the cat.
This is the hardest decision
I've ever had to make.
Maybe the decision's
been made for you, Mind.
I mean, think about it.
I crossed five galaxies,
came to this little tiny planet and
out of all those people in the world,
you found me
and we fell in love.
Coincidence? I say nay.
Maybe some infinite
intelligence in this cosmos
as we peer out,
realizes that we were
meant to be married
and all mankind.
I wish I could believe that.
I wish you could
believe that too, Mind.
I'll send by Exidor
to pick up my clothes.
Why? You don't have to go.
I don't want you to go.
You could go, but the
lease is in your name.
Just because we can't be married
doesn't mean we have
to end our relationship.
I mean, why can't we just
go on being the way we are?
I love you.
I couldn't stay here knowing
that you'll never be mine.
But it doesn't
have to be like that.
If it were the other way
around, could you stay?
No.
Well, big kiss.
I know how easily you run
down, so don't skip breakfast.
And don't forget to
take your Femiron.
- Mork.
- Yeah?
Goodbye.
Mork.
You don't want me to go, do you?
You can read minds too?
No, but I can read your face.
Oh, Mork, if I married you,
I'd be giving up any chance I
might have to have a normal life.
But if I lost you...
- Will you marry me?
- What?
Will you marry me?
This is so sudden.
I'll need some time.
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
Mork calling Orson. Come in,
Your Battle of the Bulgeness.
- Mork.
- Sir.
Do you always have to
report when I'm eating?
Well, sir, I could wait, but the Earth's
sun does have a limited lifespan.
After that comment, you'd
better have an interesting report.
Well, sir, you're gonna
decorate me for this one.
You see, Mindy and I have
signed up for a full lifetime term
in the most noble of
all institutions, marriage.
What?
Sir?
Do I detect a note of jealousy
or are you coughing on a bone?
Mork, no Orkan has entered into
a marriage since our dark ages.
You've broken one of our
most fundamental Orkan laws.
Correct the matter at once.
All right, sir. I'll correct
the problem. I quit.
I abdicate my post
for the woman I love.
Mork, you can't abdicate.
I'm giving you an order.
- Carry it out or else.
- Oh, yeah?
I'm marrying Mindy and
you just try and stop me.
That's a nice try there, sir.
Don't you understand though?
On Earth when man and
woman love each other...
- Silence!
- Sir.
The matter is closed.
Until next week, Mork. Na-no.
Yeah, all right. Uh-huh.
The old silent treatment, eh?
I am staying right on this spot
until you let me marry Mindy.
I have patience. I can wait.
I once sat through an entire
Bobby Vinton concert. Right.