Moone Boy (2012–2015): Season 1, Episode 3 - Another Prick in the Wall - full transcript
Due to having to wait for his sisters to use the bathroom Martin finds himself over-sleeping and Sinead takes advantage of this to put eye shadow and make-up on him,so that when he innocently arrives at school it is assumed he is gay. To save time in getting to school Martin,encouraged by Sean,takes inspiration from world events and the fall of the Berlin wall by dismantling his garden wall to create a short cut. Debra,meanwhile,sets out to be a Weight Wishers leader and teach weight reduction,though nobody comes to her classes.
Lucky is the Boy who grows
up in a house full of the fairer sex
for he will have an early insight in
to the mysterious ways of the woman.
He'll learn cool make-up tips.
Enjoy school Princess Martina.
Martin, get up for school!
General bathroom etiquette.
Fidelma, c'mon. I'm shitting.
As well as fashion and style.
You're late.
They're soggy.
They were crispy ten minutes ago.
But although this early
education did leave Martin
very at ease with speaking with
girls outside the home...
Yeah, Frosties on the go again
ladies. What can I say?
They're grrrrreat!
It did create some jealousy
amongst other Alpha males.
Hey beautiful!
Hey...Alan.
Do you really want to hurt me?
Yes, a strong tune, Tony
(WOLF-WHISTLES)
Good morning Martin.
Morning Padraic.
Ooh, la la!
Why is everyone acting so weird?
Well, we're at the point when
adolescence and manhood are fighting
for supremacy in our ever-changing
boy vessels...
I mean today. Why is everyone
acting so weird to me today?
Probably
because you're wearing make-up.
WHAT? Alright Madonna.
Aaaah...
I kinda like it.
♪ "Where's Me Jumper?"
- Sultans of Ping FC
♪ Dancing in the disco
♪ Bumper to bumper
♪ Wait a minute
♪ Where's me jumper?
♪ Where's me jumper?
Where's me jumper?
♪ Where's me jumper?
♪ Where's me jumper? Oh no. ♪
(TV) And the police are making no
attempt to stop people
as they scale the wall.
I have never witnessed...
Big week. It is! I've got my first
Weight Wishers class on Friday.
Oh right, yeah. Good for you.
Yeah, it's all change.
Ah yeah. Sure no harm I suppose.
I'm sorry, what?
I could probably do with cutting out
a few rashers myself.
Liam, I'm not doing
the bloody class.
I'm going to be a Weight
Wishers instructor.
That's right.
I told you about it.
I know you did!
We had a lengthy
conversation about it,
to which I was listening to every
word.
You're taking a course or you've got
your name down for a certificate.
Alright Liam, that'll do.
Debs, I tried.
You did.
Look I know everybody's giving you
a hard time
but I'd just like you to know I wish
you all the best of luck
with being gay. No, no,
this is all just a big misunder...
Shhhh. Shut up Pet Shop Boys.
Every other sign in town has
an apostrophe on it, Liam.
The thing is, that makes it
a possessive noun, Tony.
A wha'? Like it belongs to someone
called bed. As in Mr Bed's Beds
Sure, they're my beds.
I'm not trying to short
change you Tony.
I have a spare apostrophe here I'm
more than happy
to bring down to you, it's just it
doesn't really belong in the sign.
I mean beds is just beds.
No now, Liam, I won't be having
that. They are not just beds
(WHISPERS)
Little something for Sir.
Has this been through the wash?
Don't pretend you care.
Sure, no-one's coming in to the shop,
because they think I've shrimped on
the sign. OK.
Alright. B-E-D apostrophe S.
I'll see you then Tony.
With a full stop...
But Mam, she put make-up on me.
She was probably just trying to
spruce you up a bit.
She wasn't doing it to be nice, Mam.
She was doing it to be mean.
She took advantage of me when she
knew the wits about me were sleepy.
She's evil, that girl. Pure evil.
Like, er...
Like Skeletor.
Ah. Here we go... Shh.
Hi there.
My name's Jennifer Bakewell.
I'm your Weight Wishers instructors
instructor.
So it's like Weight Watchers yeah?
Well, more competitively priced
though.
Ooohh.
What are you talking about?
my new career.
Food.
What's it all about?
How can something so delicious
make us feel so very, very ugly?
And fat.
Does Dad know about this nonsense?
Yes. Dad is aware of it.
The only weight this family needs to
lose is the ten stone witch
who shares my bedroom.
Look, Martin.
If you just got up a bit earlier and
washed your face, this never would
have happened.
Why do you need
so much time in bed anyway?
Ah, would you leave him alone?
Sure he was probably just playing
with himself.
It's only natural, Martin.
Playing with myself...? How did
they know I was playing with myself?
Whelan, Staunton, Dalglish... Oh,
and he scores!
And the crowd go crazy.
Oh and he scores again!
Yes.
Since Martin stayed up all night
drawing and playing
with himself he needed to maintain
the length of his sleep-ins.
But he also needed
time in the morning
to check his face for make up.
What to do? It was quite the pickle.
The only solution was to somehow
shorten his nine minute
commute to school.
But how? And then it struck him...
Ow. Me head.
The wall.
(ANGELIC CHOIR)
The school wall ran
right behind the Moone house.
So Martin realised all he had to do
was hop over the little wall
every morning
and he'd be in plenty of time.
Free of ridicule and rouge.
Now all he needed was a little
support from his imaginary friend
to overcome his crippling
vertigo.
You think I can make this jump?
I wouldn't have thought so.
I think I can make it.
I'm a very strong jumper.
Oh you're an accomplished athlete.
Can't argue with that.
I just don't think you've got
the balls for a jump like that.
What's wrong with my balls?
My balls are perfectly normal.
Yeah, let's not go down that road.
It's more like an attitude thing
that I'm talking about, buddy.
You've always been a bit
safety first. You know?
Take your choice of imaginary
friend for example.
What's your point, beard-face?
Hey, you created me, Princess.
And I can destroy you like that.
Yeah, that gesture carries
a little more weight
when your fingers actually click.
Point being, you gave me my name.
Sean Murphy. An excellent name.
Most common name in Ireland,
but let's not hang on that.
You also gave me my middle name.
Caution! Sean "Caution" Murphy.
As in, careful who you're
messing with, fool! Caution!
Yeah. Remind me.
Who is Padraic's imaginary friend?
Legendary wrestler
Crunchie "Danger" Haystacks.
(TV) And the big man from Kilkenny
has got him down! Danger!
You hear what I'm saying?
Padraic would have already made
this jump.
Carrying Crunchie "Danger" Haystacks
on his back
like a Thundercat, no doubt.
Whereas here you are bickering with
a man wearing lady's shoes.
Why are you wearing high heels?
An excellent question.
(SIGHS) I AM a bit safety first.
And so it was that Sleepyhead
Safety-First Moone
resigned himself to a life
of mocking head-voices.
'Do you really want to hurt me?'
'Alright Madonna?'
(WOLF-WHISTLE)
'I kinda like it.'
Or did he?
Feck off, wall!
Hi-YAH! Yeah.
Lovely man your dad. Huh?
Lovely man. Terrible builder.
It's not the size of a man's balls
that's important, buddy.
It's the direction
they're swinging in.
(TV) Mr Gorbachev,
tear down this wall!
I'd let him tag me anytime
(TV) You're probably
asking yourself.
Aren't you just an affordable
version of Weight Watchers?
And in many ways we are.
So she's up in Longford now,
ooh la la.
Living with him, most likely,
like the manky cat that got the
cream.
Doesn't care who gets hurt.
Slapper, d'you know?
Slapper, yeah.
Our plan has never been clinically
tested,
so it's fresher, too, and braver.
Let's start with the basics.
Why can't they just weigh
themselves at home?
But she'll get hers no doubt.
Probably in the shape of some
unpleasant rash
on her undercarriage.
Mm, undercarriage rash, yeah.
(TV) Strip down and discover
the hard truth amongst friends.
But what can you do?
She's me sister, you know?
Your own home would be an ideal
spot for a weighing party.
Away from prying, mocking eyes.
Martin Moone planned to remove small
pieces of the wall every day
so that his clueless parents
might not notice it
disappear from right
under their stupid noses.
What the hell is he doing out there?
(TV) ...Demanding that border-guards
immediately open the gates.
And then within hours, they began to
burst through the Eastern blockade.
Wouldn't mind having
a go on your Eastern blockade.
A go?
You wouldn't mind a go?
That's lovely Liam.
I'm working here.
Oh, yeah.
Your fat instruction course thing.
I know what it's called.
What's it called?
What's what called?
Liam.
What is the name of the weight loss
class
I'm going to be an instructor of?
The... No.
You didn't let me finish.
Doesn't start with "the".
Fattest Fools.
No. Greedy Gobs.
NO! Chubby Club.
Do you really think it's called
The Chubby Club?
I didn't say "the".
I knew it.
This is so disappointing.
What is? They all said they wouldn't
support my new career.
Who's "they"? And now you've just
proved them right.
I take it seriously.
I am more than happy to starve
the arses off the Flab Foundation!
Believe me.
I am supportive I am.
So we could use
the workshop for a class, then?
My workshop?
No Liam, the second workshop,
that I keep in the back pocket
of my feckin' tennis shorts.
You own tennis shorts?
Can we use it?
Deb, that's my place of work.
And then, it would also be MY
place of work.
Yeah, but come on.
They're not the same thing.
Meaning your career is more
important than mine?
Yeah.
Right.
Weight Wishers.
Wish away! What?
Oh, now...
Balls.
(TV) The Wall was first constructed
by the GDR in August 1961,
and was officially referred to as the
"Anti-Fascist Protection Rampart".
You're a rampart.
Martin turned out to be quite
a resourceful little runt.
That's it buddy.
Just the right combination
of destruction and caution.
I mean what other man could
achieve so much with so few tools?
(UPBEAT 80S MUSIC)
Maybe there's one.
Would you like to dance?
It would be my pleasure.
What a knob bucket.
So, ladies, what we have here is
a picture of our good carbs,
our bad carbs
and our ugly carbs.
Now that would be things
like spaghetti,
French toast - we know it's French
because it's smoking.
Some might say that
breaking down a wall just to
shorten your commute to school is
pretty reckless.
You've changed, kid.
We've all changed Mr Murphy.
Nice shoes by the way.
Heyyy!
Martin will you get up out of bed?
Who's in there?
Oh.
Well - you're still going to be
late for school, loser.
You know what Sinead?
If you spent more time on your own
make-up and less on mine,
maybe you wouldn't look like such
a scabby old spinster.
In 1989, Martin's favourite
TV show was Dynasty.
Ha ha!
Actually, I'm done.
That morning our wall-smashing
little hero made it to school,
after a stationary breakfast,
and totally make-up free,
with four whole minutes to spare.
♪ "Don't Worry, Be Happy"
- Bobby McFerrin
So, the whole school's talkin'
about your wall exploits.
They've started calling you
the Dozy Bulldozer.
So... you're not doing the...
make-up thing anymore...?
No. That's cool.
Whatever.
I need to go and do...a wee.
With the fall of the wall,
people began to pass from East Boyle
to West Boyle with gay abandon.
And back again with even gayer
abandon.
(ON PHONE) I'd just worry
with the nature of the people you're
talking about, they may fall through
and kill everybody below them, you
know? No, no, I understand.
Yeah, if it's a weak ceiling,
it's really not worth the risk.
I mean, it's fairly weak, and you
know, they're big people aren't they?
OK thanks.
It's not like they'll be
jumping up and down.
And as cross-border traffic soared,
so did Martin's popularity.
Hey Wrecking-Ball.
Hey Alan Ball.
♪ I wanna be...a sledge hammer.
Oh, well actually I just used
a chisel - but thanks, pal.
Love that Tune.
What the F...?
Alright.
You can use it.
Really? Thanks love.
Rebuilding a wall seems like a job
for a weight loss group, right?
Huh?
Turns out Martin's parents' noses
weren't quite as stupid as he
assumed.
Martin what happened to the wall?
Well I don't know.
It must be natural
erosion - like an oxbow lake.
Please don't compare the serenity
of an oxbow lake
to your blatant vandalism.
Look Mam, I'm not pointing fingers,
or anything.
But that wall was pretty
shoddy to begin with.
Whoa, whoa, I built that wall.
Stop right there.
What do you think you are doing?
Sure, this is public access isn't
it? You're climbing through a wall.
What sort of public access has
a wall in the middle of it?
Good point.
You really should get
rid of the rest of that wall Missus.
Health and safety you know.
See you later Dozy Bulldozer.
Martin you need to make this right.
This place is like a bloody dual
carriageway. (WHISTLE BLARES)
Oh come on now.
You need to fix the wall.
I can't fix a wall, woman!
I'm just a child.
Look...
Don't worry pal. We'll rebuild it
together. The two lads, eh?
Butch and Sundance build a wall.
Just like they did in the film.
Yeah.
Give us a hand will you?
Oh for Fu...
Weight Wishers? Drop a dress size
keep them interested.
With the weighing space secured,
Debra hit the streets of Boyle.
Spreading her nutritional gospel
with her appetite apostles.
Like to lose some weight?
This is a bit more like it.
Weight Wishers, stop the weight.
Here I'll slip it in your pocket
look at that.
Hey. How long has he been on his
break now? An hour?
Unbelievable.
Butch and Sundance my hole.
Yeah.
Well the important thing is that
you're doing a really shoddy job.
Oh, the shoddiest. I'm hoping it'll
fall down on the lot of them.
This is boring.
We're literally watching cement dry.
You know what Padraic and his
imaginary friend are doing about
now?
No.
Neither do I -
but I bet it involves sharks.
And some kind of unicorn battle.
It's unbelievable.
Why did you want to come exactly
here to the Brandenburger?
Well, a year ago we did, looking
for freedom, and it was a dream.
Actor, singer...
Knight Rider...
Germany-unifier.
I really hope he plays
the keyboard on his scarf.
(MOUTHS)
Hey, I wouldn't swap this for the
world, though.
You know? The two lads.
Butch & Sundance watch cement dry.
Yeah, actually that's something
I just do with my Dad.
That whole Butch and Sundance thing.
Oh, yeah.
That, that, that's cool.
Right. It's just...
Yep.
Wow.
Now this is pretty awkward now...
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Thought you might like a cup of tea.
Oh.
Thanks, love.
Maybe next week, huh?
Yeah.
That thing in Berlin is on telly
if you want to watch it. Mm.
David Hasselhoff is performing.
No!
Oh yeah.
The price of freedom.
Yeah.
♪ Morning in June
some twenty years ago...
Him being there really makes the
whole wall thing worthwhile.
♪ I've been looking for freedom
♪ I've been looking so long
♪ I've been looking for freedom...
You wanna do the dance again?
♪ I've been looking for freedom
♪ I've been looking so long... ♪
They said the Weight Wishers class
was just through...
What the feck is this?
So much for the short cut.
We could just
walk around the long way.
Walkin'? No way, Jose.
Let's just leave it, will we?
Yeah. Sure, yeah.
That's probably best.
Yeah. Yeah.
up in a house full of the fairer sex
for he will have an early insight in
to the mysterious ways of the woman.
He'll learn cool make-up tips.
Enjoy school Princess Martina.
Martin, get up for school!
General bathroom etiquette.
Fidelma, c'mon. I'm shitting.
As well as fashion and style.
You're late.
They're soggy.
They were crispy ten minutes ago.
But although this early
education did leave Martin
very at ease with speaking with
girls outside the home...
Yeah, Frosties on the go again
ladies. What can I say?
They're grrrrreat!
It did create some jealousy
amongst other Alpha males.
Hey beautiful!
Hey...Alan.
Do you really want to hurt me?
Yes, a strong tune, Tony
(WOLF-WHISTLES)
Good morning Martin.
Morning Padraic.
Ooh, la la!
Why is everyone acting so weird?
Well, we're at the point when
adolescence and manhood are fighting
for supremacy in our ever-changing
boy vessels...
I mean today. Why is everyone
acting so weird to me today?
Probably
because you're wearing make-up.
WHAT? Alright Madonna.
Aaaah...
I kinda like it.
♪ "Where's Me Jumper?"
- Sultans of Ping FC
♪ Dancing in the disco
♪ Bumper to bumper
♪ Wait a minute
♪ Where's me jumper?
♪ Where's me jumper?
Where's me jumper?
♪ Where's me jumper?
♪ Where's me jumper? Oh no. ♪
(TV) And the police are making no
attempt to stop people
as they scale the wall.
I have never witnessed...
Big week. It is! I've got my first
Weight Wishers class on Friday.
Oh right, yeah. Good for you.
Yeah, it's all change.
Ah yeah. Sure no harm I suppose.
I'm sorry, what?
I could probably do with cutting out
a few rashers myself.
Liam, I'm not doing
the bloody class.
I'm going to be a Weight
Wishers instructor.
That's right.
I told you about it.
I know you did!
We had a lengthy
conversation about it,
to which I was listening to every
word.
You're taking a course or you've got
your name down for a certificate.
Alright Liam, that'll do.
Debs, I tried.
You did.
Look I know everybody's giving you
a hard time
but I'd just like you to know I wish
you all the best of luck
with being gay. No, no,
this is all just a big misunder...
Shhhh. Shut up Pet Shop Boys.
Every other sign in town has
an apostrophe on it, Liam.
The thing is, that makes it
a possessive noun, Tony.
A wha'? Like it belongs to someone
called bed. As in Mr Bed's Beds
Sure, they're my beds.
I'm not trying to short
change you Tony.
I have a spare apostrophe here I'm
more than happy
to bring down to you, it's just it
doesn't really belong in the sign.
I mean beds is just beds.
No now, Liam, I won't be having
that. They are not just beds
(WHISPERS)
Little something for Sir.
Has this been through the wash?
Don't pretend you care.
Sure, no-one's coming in to the shop,
because they think I've shrimped on
the sign. OK.
Alright. B-E-D apostrophe S.
I'll see you then Tony.
With a full stop...
But Mam, she put make-up on me.
She was probably just trying to
spruce you up a bit.
She wasn't doing it to be nice, Mam.
She was doing it to be mean.
She took advantage of me when she
knew the wits about me were sleepy.
She's evil, that girl. Pure evil.
Like, er...
Like Skeletor.
Ah. Here we go... Shh.
Hi there.
My name's Jennifer Bakewell.
I'm your Weight Wishers instructors
instructor.
So it's like Weight Watchers yeah?
Well, more competitively priced
though.
Ooohh.
What are you talking about?
my new career.
Food.
What's it all about?
How can something so delicious
make us feel so very, very ugly?
And fat.
Does Dad know about this nonsense?
Yes. Dad is aware of it.
The only weight this family needs to
lose is the ten stone witch
who shares my bedroom.
Look, Martin.
If you just got up a bit earlier and
washed your face, this never would
have happened.
Why do you need
so much time in bed anyway?
Ah, would you leave him alone?
Sure he was probably just playing
with himself.
It's only natural, Martin.
Playing with myself...? How did
they know I was playing with myself?
Whelan, Staunton, Dalglish... Oh,
and he scores!
And the crowd go crazy.
Oh and he scores again!
Yes.
Since Martin stayed up all night
drawing and playing
with himself he needed to maintain
the length of his sleep-ins.
But he also needed
time in the morning
to check his face for make up.
What to do? It was quite the pickle.
The only solution was to somehow
shorten his nine minute
commute to school.
But how? And then it struck him...
Ow. Me head.
The wall.
(ANGELIC CHOIR)
The school wall ran
right behind the Moone house.
So Martin realised all he had to do
was hop over the little wall
every morning
and he'd be in plenty of time.
Free of ridicule and rouge.
Now all he needed was a little
support from his imaginary friend
to overcome his crippling
vertigo.
You think I can make this jump?
I wouldn't have thought so.
I think I can make it.
I'm a very strong jumper.
Oh you're an accomplished athlete.
Can't argue with that.
I just don't think you've got
the balls for a jump like that.
What's wrong with my balls?
My balls are perfectly normal.
Yeah, let's not go down that road.
It's more like an attitude thing
that I'm talking about, buddy.
You've always been a bit
safety first. You know?
Take your choice of imaginary
friend for example.
What's your point, beard-face?
Hey, you created me, Princess.
And I can destroy you like that.
Yeah, that gesture carries
a little more weight
when your fingers actually click.
Point being, you gave me my name.
Sean Murphy. An excellent name.
Most common name in Ireland,
but let's not hang on that.
You also gave me my middle name.
Caution! Sean "Caution" Murphy.
As in, careful who you're
messing with, fool! Caution!
Yeah. Remind me.
Who is Padraic's imaginary friend?
Legendary wrestler
Crunchie "Danger" Haystacks.
(TV) And the big man from Kilkenny
has got him down! Danger!
You hear what I'm saying?
Padraic would have already made
this jump.
Carrying Crunchie "Danger" Haystacks
on his back
like a Thundercat, no doubt.
Whereas here you are bickering with
a man wearing lady's shoes.
Why are you wearing high heels?
An excellent question.
(SIGHS) I AM a bit safety first.
And so it was that Sleepyhead
Safety-First Moone
resigned himself to a life
of mocking head-voices.
'Do you really want to hurt me?'
'Alright Madonna?'
(WOLF-WHISTLE)
'I kinda like it.'
Or did he?
Feck off, wall!
Hi-YAH! Yeah.
Lovely man your dad. Huh?
Lovely man. Terrible builder.
It's not the size of a man's balls
that's important, buddy.
It's the direction
they're swinging in.
(TV) Mr Gorbachev,
tear down this wall!
I'd let him tag me anytime
(TV) You're probably
asking yourself.
Aren't you just an affordable
version of Weight Watchers?
And in many ways we are.
So she's up in Longford now,
ooh la la.
Living with him, most likely,
like the manky cat that got the
cream.
Doesn't care who gets hurt.
Slapper, d'you know?
Slapper, yeah.
Our plan has never been clinically
tested,
so it's fresher, too, and braver.
Let's start with the basics.
Why can't they just weigh
themselves at home?
But she'll get hers no doubt.
Probably in the shape of some
unpleasant rash
on her undercarriage.
Mm, undercarriage rash, yeah.
(TV) Strip down and discover
the hard truth amongst friends.
But what can you do?
She's me sister, you know?
Your own home would be an ideal
spot for a weighing party.
Away from prying, mocking eyes.
Martin Moone planned to remove small
pieces of the wall every day
so that his clueless parents
might not notice it
disappear from right
under their stupid noses.
What the hell is he doing out there?
(TV) ...Demanding that border-guards
immediately open the gates.
And then within hours, they began to
burst through the Eastern blockade.
Wouldn't mind having
a go on your Eastern blockade.
A go?
You wouldn't mind a go?
That's lovely Liam.
I'm working here.
Oh, yeah.
Your fat instruction course thing.
I know what it's called.
What's it called?
What's what called?
Liam.
What is the name of the weight loss
class
I'm going to be an instructor of?
The... No.
You didn't let me finish.
Doesn't start with "the".
Fattest Fools.
No. Greedy Gobs.
NO! Chubby Club.
Do you really think it's called
The Chubby Club?
I didn't say "the".
I knew it.
This is so disappointing.
What is? They all said they wouldn't
support my new career.
Who's "they"? And now you've just
proved them right.
I take it seriously.
I am more than happy to starve
the arses off the Flab Foundation!
Believe me.
I am supportive I am.
So we could use
the workshop for a class, then?
My workshop?
No Liam, the second workshop,
that I keep in the back pocket
of my feckin' tennis shorts.
You own tennis shorts?
Can we use it?
Deb, that's my place of work.
And then, it would also be MY
place of work.
Yeah, but come on.
They're not the same thing.
Meaning your career is more
important than mine?
Yeah.
Right.
Weight Wishers.
Wish away! What?
Oh, now...
Balls.
(TV) The Wall was first constructed
by the GDR in August 1961,
and was officially referred to as the
"Anti-Fascist Protection Rampart".
You're a rampart.
Martin turned out to be quite
a resourceful little runt.
That's it buddy.
Just the right combination
of destruction and caution.
I mean what other man could
achieve so much with so few tools?
(UPBEAT 80S MUSIC)
Maybe there's one.
Would you like to dance?
It would be my pleasure.
What a knob bucket.
So, ladies, what we have here is
a picture of our good carbs,
our bad carbs
and our ugly carbs.
Now that would be things
like spaghetti,
French toast - we know it's French
because it's smoking.
Some might say that
breaking down a wall just to
shorten your commute to school is
pretty reckless.
You've changed, kid.
We've all changed Mr Murphy.
Nice shoes by the way.
Heyyy!
Martin will you get up out of bed?
Who's in there?
Oh.
Well - you're still going to be
late for school, loser.
You know what Sinead?
If you spent more time on your own
make-up and less on mine,
maybe you wouldn't look like such
a scabby old spinster.
In 1989, Martin's favourite
TV show was Dynasty.
Ha ha!
Actually, I'm done.
That morning our wall-smashing
little hero made it to school,
after a stationary breakfast,
and totally make-up free,
with four whole minutes to spare.
♪ "Don't Worry, Be Happy"
- Bobby McFerrin
So, the whole school's talkin'
about your wall exploits.
They've started calling you
the Dozy Bulldozer.
So... you're not doing the...
make-up thing anymore...?
No. That's cool.
Whatever.
I need to go and do...a wee.
With the fall of the wall,
people began to pass from East Boyle
to West Boyle with gay abandon.
And back again with even gayer
abandon.
(ON PHONE) I'd just worry
with the nature of the people you're
talking about, they may fall through
and kill everybody below them, you
know? No, no, I understand.
Yeah, if it's a weak ceiling,
it's really not worth the risk.
I mean, it's fairly weak, and you
know, they're big people aren't they?
OK thanks.
It's not like they'll be
jumping up and down.
And as cross-border traffic soared,
so did Martin's popularity.
Hey Wrecking-Ball.
Hey Alan Ball.
♪ I wanna be...a sledge hammer.
Oh, well actually I just used
a chisel - but thanks, pal.
Love that Tune.
What the F...?
Alright.
You can use it.
Really? Thanks love.
Rebuilding a wall seems like a job
for a weight loss group, right?
Huh?
Turns out Martin's parents' noses
weren't quite as stupid as he
assumed.
Martin what happened to the wall?
Well I don't know.
It must be natural
erosion - like an oxbow lake.
Please don't compare the serenity
of an oxbow lake
to your blatant vandalism.
Look Mam, I'm not pointing fingers,
or anything.
But that wall was pretty
shoddy to begin with.
Whoa, whoa, I built that wall.
Stop right there.
What do you think you are doing?
Sure, this is public access isn't
it? You're climbing through a wall.
What sort of public access has
a wall in the middle of it?
Good point.
You really should get
rid of the rest of that wall Missus.
Health and safety you know.
See you later Dozy Bulldozer.
Martin you need to make this right.
This place is like a bloody dual
carriageway. (WHISTLE BLARES)
Oh come on now.
You need to fix the wall.
I can't fix a wall, woman!
I'm just a child.
Look...
Don't worry pal. We'll rebuild it
together. The two lads, eh?
Butch and Sundance build a wall.
Just like they did in the film.
Yeah.
Give us a hand will you?
Oh for Fu...
Weight Wishers? Drop a dress size
keep them interested.
With the weighing space secured,
Debra hit the streets of Boyle.
Spreading her nutritional gospel
with her appetite apostles.
Like to lose some weight?
This is a bit more like it.
Weight Wishers, stop the weight.
Here I'll slip it in your pocket
look at that.
Hey. How long has he been on his
break now? An hour?
Unbelievable.
Butch and Sundance my hole.
Yeah.
Well the important thing is that
you're doing a really shoddy job.
Oh, the shoddiest. I'm hoping it'll
fall down on the lot of them.
This is boring.
We're literally watching cement dry.
You know what Padraic and his
imaginary friend are doing about
now?
No.
Neither do I -
but I bet it involves sharks.
And some kind of unicorn battle.
It's unbelievable.
Why did you want to come exactly
here to the Brandenburger?
Well, a year ago we did, looking
for freedom, and it was a dream.
Actor, singer...
Knight Rider...
Germany-unifier.
I really hope he plays
the keyboard on his scarf.
(MOUTHS)
Hey, I wouldn't swap this for the
world, though.
You know? The two lads.
Butch & Sundance watch cement dry.
Yeah, actually that's something
I just do with my Dad.
That whole Butch and Sundance thing.
Oh, yeah.
That, that, that's cool.
Right. It's just...
Yep.
Wow.
Now this is pretty awkward now...
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Thought you might like a cup of tea.
Oh.
Thanks, love.
Maybe next week, huh?
Yeah.
That thing in Berlin is on telly
if you want to watch it. Mm.
David Hasselhoff is performing.
No!
Oh yeah.
The price of freedom.
Yeah.
♪ Morning in June
some twenty years ago...
Him being there really makes the
whole wall thing worthwhile.
♪ I've been looking for freedom
♪ I've been looking so long
♪ I've been looking for freedom...
You wanna do the dance again?
♪ I've been looking for freedom
♪ I've been looking so long... ♪
They said the Weight Wishers class
was just through...
What the feck is this?
So much for the short cut.
We could just
walk around the long way.
Walkin'? No way, Jose.
Let's just leave it, will we?
Yeah. Sure, yeah.
That's probably best.
Yeah. Yeah.