Mom (2013–…): Season 3, Episode 4 - Sawdust and Brisket - full transcript

Hello, Beverly.

I said, "hello, Beverly."

I heard you.

All right, well, namaste, grumpy pants!

You are too nice, Bonnie Plunkett.

And too good-lookin'.

Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

What's wrong?

I just got a text from
Violet. She's on her way over.

She give a hint what it's about?

No. Just "coming over, need to talk."



Ooh, very scary, boys and girls.

Do you think she broke up with Gregory?

That or she's pregnant again.

Or she broke up with
him and she's pregnant.

Again.

Oh, I hate this.

Hang on. Maybe we're overreacting.

Maybe she's on her way over here

to share some good news with her mother.

If you're not gonna take this
seriously then just be quiet.

Well, this is a nice surprise.

So far.

What brings you by?

This is kind of hard for me to say. Um...



Oh, God. I gave birth to
you in less time. What is it?

Relax. It's nothing bad.

Then why are you here?

All right.

I know I haven't been
the best daughter lately.

Careful. Could be a trap.

I-I never call.

I never check to see how you're doing.

Well, honey, in your defense,

I think that's just
'cause you don't like me.

And that's fine.

No, it's not.

I've been talking to
Gregory about everything

that goes on between us,

and he encouraged me to reach out to you,

see if we maybe could
rebuild our relationship.

Oh.

I did not see this coming.

Did you see this coming?

I did not.

Anyway, I really liked the idea

because I don't want the
kind of relationship with you

that you have with grandma.

Hey. You know, your mom and
I have been getting along

- really...
- Szh-szh-szh-szh.

Go ahead, honey.

That's it.

I just wanted to tell you I love you

and I hope we can start
spending more time together.

Oh, Violet.

That's the best news
you could've brought me.

Yeah. She thought you were pregnant.

Do you not know the
meaning of "Szh-szh-szh"?

That's great, Christy.

That's the real benefit of staying sober.

Families get to heal.

Yeah. It's finally happening.

Tell her the best part.

Oh. After three years
of requests and pokes,

my daughter has accepted me
as her friend on Facebook.

Wonderful.

Of course, now I know that
she has a marijuana leaf

tattooed on her ass, but still... yay.

Oh, boy.

Let's go somewhere else.

What was that about?

Who knows? Bitch be crazy.

That's the woman in our building
my mother stole drugs from.

They weren't drugs.

They were cat tranquilizers.

How is that not drugs?

I had to take, like, seven to get a buzz.

That's 'cause you don't weigh eight pounds.

Okay.

We're getting off the point.

I'm guessing you didn't make the
amends to her that we discussed.

Well, that'd be a good guess, Marjorie.

What are you waiting for?

Honestly? For the day I
find her dead, bloated body

in the bathtub.

Bonnie, if you want to stay sober

and walk through this world free
of guilt, shame, and resentment,

you have to take
responsibility for your actions.

What?

Sorry. It's just... it's
hard to imagine you...

Sorry.

This is so much fun.

I can't remember the last
time you and I went shopping.

I do. I was nine.

I'd outgrown all my clothes for school,

so you stole some jeans and t-shirts

and shoved 'em in my backpack.

Oh, yeah. Sure.

You know, I stole that backpack, too.

No.

My kid wants a Hello Kitty backpack,

she gets a Hello Kitty backpack.

Oh, my God.

I know. I'm sorry.

No, don't be.

I'm finally realizing that you
were doing the best you could

to take care of me.

Thanks, baby.

I hope you know I'm not the...

Shoplifting, drug-addled,
single mom I used to be.

Don't worry. We're good.

You mean that?

Yeah.

Come here.

Again?

I promise this is the
last time I'll cry today.

Good, 'cause I need you
to help me do some damage

to Gregory's credit card.

You got it.

It's so nice he gives
you money for clothes.

Yeah. He's 22 years older than me.

He gives me money for everything.

As well he should.

Oh. Yes?

- Meh.
- Meh?

Meh.

Yeah, you're right. Meh.

Ooh. Now, this is cute.

Super cute. ‭mm-hmm.

Look at this.

Ooh.

I love that, too.

Not Meh?

So not Meh.

Ugh, now I have to make a decision.

No, you don't. I'll stick
this one in my purse.

Mom.

I'm kidding.

You know, how 'bout you buy that one,

I'll buy this one, and we'll share?

Wow, we are like best friends.

Always and forever.

Oh. It's still alive.

'Bout time you fixed that thing.

There are 24 units in
this building, Beverly.

I'm only one person.

Our old building manager had
everything running perfectly.

Yeah. And then he went
out behind the trash bins

and blew his brains out.

At least he knew where the trash bins were.

I fixed it!

Well, that's a first.

We need to clear the air.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

All right. I'm listening.

What's the matter,

cat tranquilizers got your tongue?

Okay.

Let's put all our cards on the table.

I don't like you,

you don't like me.

Go on.

That's it.

Hey.

Hey!

Too much. I'm out.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I got to share this with you.

What?

I realize now

that all of the heartbreak,
all of the struggle,

it all had a purpose.

To allow me to have

the greatest day a mother could ask for.

And I got a new top.

Go Christy, go Christy.

Are you high?

On life.

My daughter loves me.

What must that be like?

Oh, right.

You wouldn't know.

We went shopping, we got pedicures,

and then we had coffee with her friends.

And get this, Violet wasn't
embarrassed to be seen with me.

She was actually proud.

Of what?

I know!

I thought the same thing.

But it turns out being

a high school dropout,
recovering alcoholic,

failed pole dancer with two kids

from two different loser baby
daddies makes me the cool mom.

Did you tell 'em how
you used to smuggle drugs

into the country in your tushy?

Does Neil Diamond forget
to sing "Sweet Caroline"?

And it gets better.

Violet invited us over for dinner

with her and Gregory this Sunday.

Can't wait.

What's the matter with you?

I just tried to make amends to Beverly.

It didn't go very well.

Aw. Too bad.

Okay, well, bye!

Where you goin'?

I've got a class.

Hey, mom, not that you
asked for my opinion...

I think you should go
over to Beverly's apartment

and straighten things out with her.

I promise it'll make you feel better,

and, more importantly, it
will help you stay sober.

Are you done?

Not yet.

Go Bonnie,

go Bonnie.

Get out of here!

Go Bonnie! Go Bonnie!

Hi, Beverly.

What do you want, Plunkett?

Here's 50 bucks.

What's this for?

A while back, you accused me

of stealing some of
your cat's tranquilizers.

At the time, I denied it because I was...

Well, I was blasted on cat tranquilizers.

But I'm sober now,

and part of me staying that way
is repairing the damage I did.

Is that it?

Not quite.

Uh, for the last six months,

I've been turning your rent in late,

so you may want to
check your credit rating.

- You didn't.
- I did.

Also, if you've been
wondering what happened

to your fruit-of-the
month basket... well,

here. The mangoes were delicious.

Is there more?

No, that's it.

I'm sorry, and I hope you can forgive me.

Amazing.

Thank you.

No, I mean, it's amazing

you think you can throw a few bucks around,

wave a magic wand, and suddenly,

you're not a horrible human being anymore.

Well, that would be ideal.

Well, I don't forgive you.

Oh, come on, Beverly.
I'm really trying here.

No you're not. You're
just flappin' your gums

and hoping I let you off the hook.

But you know what?

You're a liar and an addict, and...

And I have no respect for people like you.

And you can keep your money!

Oh.

I don't see how this is keeping me sober.

That top looks great on you.

Thanks. I'm kind of diggin' yours.

Bonnie, is the brisket okay?

Yeah, just not much of an appetite.

She's a little depressed

because she found out
how much people hate her.

Not people. Person.

No, I asked around.

It's people.

I find that hard to believe.

You're always so, uh...

I'm always so what?

At the moment, scary.

Uh, I'm-I'm just gonna
clear this stuff away.

You have him trained well.

I can't take credit for that.

His mom broke him pretty good.

It's true.

You guys seem like you're doing great.

We are. You know, a couple nights ago,

we stayed up talking
until 2:00 in the morning.

About what?

All kinds of stuff.

Did you know that George
Bush's dad was president, too?

Fascinating.

So, how is he in the sack?

Mom!

You do not have to answer that.

Oh, come on.

I'm missing Sunday night
football. Give me something.

All right, this is kind of cute.

Suddenly you're curious.

Well, she is my best friend.

After we, like...

You know, do it,

he giggles.

Why?

Is he ticklish?

Seriously?

He's giggling because he
can't believe his good luck.

What was so funny?

Oh, nothing.

You know us girls.

We just love to giggle.

Multiple times.

I'll get dessert.

I have to tell you,

Violet has been a totally different person

the last few days.

How so?

Well, she's...

What's the right word? Happy.

Me, too, and I know

you're the one who encouraged her

to mend fences with me, and
I can't thank you enough.

You're welcome.

Although to be completely honest,

I did have a selfish motive.

- What do you mean?
- Well, as a psychotherapist,

I know that if a woman
has a positive relationship

with her mother, she's more likely

to forge strong bonds
with her own children.

Sorry.

Too late.

Anyway, I, uh, can't wait to be a father,

and you and Violet getting along
will only make her a better mom.

I get that,

but you can wait a little while, right?

Oh, yeah, well, we're not even married yet.

On the other hand, I'm
not getting any younger.

True, you wait too long,
you'll be shootin' sawdust.

Mom!

Well, where do you
think sawdust comes from?

You have lots of time to have kids.

And I know that Violet's not in a rush.

She wants to finish college,

maybe even start a career
before she has another baby.

I'm sorry. Another baby?

Huh?

You just said, "before
she has another baby."

Yeah, you did just say that.

Why'd you say that?

Huh?

Are you telling me that Violet had a baby?

I think it's charming you giggle after sex.

Who's ready for banana cream?

What's wrong?

Excuse me.

What's going on?

Violet, I assumed you
told him about the baby.

Oh, God.

I'm so sorry.

I do so much better when
you are not in my life.

I know how upset you must be,

but if we leave now,

we can get home in time
to see the fourth quarter.

What are you looking at?

Pictures of me and Violet,
back when she loved me.

Oh, that's a good one.

When did you take that?

Three hours ago.

Ugh!

I want to apologize.

To me?

The other day, I said some
things I'm not proud of.

To me?

Yeah.

Okay.

My dad was a drunk.

He did some horrible things.

And then he'd just say,
"sorry, I'll never do it again."

And then he'd do it again.

So when you apologized...
It kind of set me off.

Beverly, I had no idea.

How could you?

Anyway, I realize you're not him,

and it wasn't fair to
talk to you the way I did.

Thank you.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

Thanks.

Wait! Beverly?

You want to come in for
some tea and football?

Okay.

Hi, Christy.

Hi.

You know, you two have a lot in common.

Her mom was a drunk.

- It's Violet.
- Ooh!

Hey, Vi. What's goin' on?

I just wanted to apologize
for what I said last night.

Okay.

She's apologizing.

- To who?
- To me.

- Why?
- No idea.

Honey, um, I'm the one
who should be apologizing.

No, it was my fault.

I should have told Gregory
about the baby,

but... I was too scared.

I understand.

Just know that Grandma and I
will always lie for you,

but you got
to give us a heads up.

Tell her lying's
what makes us a family.

Szh-szh-szh. Szh.

So how's it going with Gregory?

Not good. He's real upset.

Violet, not that you asked
for my opinion...

Oh, boy.

But in my experience, when
you screw up and get caught--

something I've done a lot--

it's usually best
to take responsibility

and deal with the consequences.

You think he'll forgive me?

Honey, you're 22 years younger
than he is.

He'd forgive you
for burning down his house.

You might be right.

I might be right.

More importantly, Violet,

do you want to stay
with Gregory?

I do.

Well, then, if you hang in there
and work it out,

I guarantee you'll have him
giggling again in no time.

Thanks, Mom.

I love you.

I love you, too.

You've become a good mom.

Thank you.

I'm not gonna say it back.