Miracle Workers (2019–…): Season 4, Episode 6 - Olympus - full transcript

So when did
the infestation start?

A few weeks ago.

We can hear them
skittering behind the walls.

It's making
our war dog crazy.

Damn you!

Why must you torment me
with these mind games?!

Oh, yeah,
I see one of them now.

What is it?

[ Growling ]
You got feral children.

Oh, ugh.
We get this a lot.

Orphans abandoned by society.



They grow into
primitive warriors.

They like to sneak into
your home, eat your sweets,

play with your toys,
that sorta thing.

Ugh, I mean, look at its
chubby cheeks and button nose.

It's disgusting.
Is there anything we can do?

Oh, yeah. Easy fix.
What I do is I take this flute,

I play it,
it hypnotizes the children,

then I lead them out of town.

But I gotta warn you,
it's expensive.

I don't know
if it's worth it.

They're just kids after all.

Unless you are scared of things
that go bump in the night.

There's one on your foot.
What?

[ Screams ] No!



Okay, yeah, no.
We can do it.

We'll do the flute thing.
Great.

I'll get to work, then.

[ Plays jaunty tune ]
[ Gasps ]

[ Children giggling ]

Yeah, that's right, scram!

♪♪

♪♪

How are we going to pay
all these bills?

400 bird beaks
for anti-radiation filters?

300 bird beaks to fix
our broken urine purifier?

Uh, the urine purifier
is broken?

[ Sighs ] This sucks!

Why does everything
have to be so hard?

I feel like
we're failing at life.

[ Cellphone ringing ]

Yeah?

Oh, hi, Mom.
Mom?

You never told me
you had a mom.

Oh, you and Dad
want to visit?

You have a dad, too?!
Tell them yes!

I am absolutely dying
to meet them.

Um, now's not a great time.

Our schedules
are pretty packed.
No, no, no.

Tell them we literally
have zero plans.

It would be an honor
to host you!

Okay, great.

Bye.

Yeah!
When are they coming?

Right now.

[ Bell dinging, roof rattles ]

[ Rumbling ]

Uh, Freya?

What exactly
am I looking at here?

Oh, did I not mention
that my family

is part of
the ultra-wealthy .001%

and live in a utopian city
in the sky?

No, I don't believe you did.

[ Warbling ]

Foofie!

Hi, Mom.

Foofie?
Can I call you that?

No.
Okay.

Oh, this damn ball pit.

It's busted again!

I paid a fortune
for this piece of crap.

Oh, honey, you're so tense.

Would a massage help?

Thanks, Holly.
Your hologram hands

are really hitting
the spot.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Finally!
The repairman's here.

♪♪

Good morning!

Tai's Ball Pit and Sauna Repair
at your service.

I'm here for a Mr. Morris
"The Junkman" Rubinstein.

Oh, shit.

You're Sid and Freya's
robot friend.

What are you doing here?

Well, unfortunately, my day job
traveling through time,

assassinating humans
doesn't afford me the lifestyle

I want/deserve,
so I do this as my side hustle.

Another good human job
stolen by a robot.

You non-people make me sick.

Well, this has been
a complete waste of time.

I hope you have a good rest
of your brief human lifespan.

Hey, where do you think
you're going?

Now, you work for me now.

Unless you want me
to leave you a bad review.

Oh, you wouldn't dare.

I think I'll give your service
one star.

Maybe one and a half
if I'm feeling generous.

No, no, no.
You can't!

I-- It would completely
tank my algorithm!

I would be ruined!

I guess you should get started,
then.

Shoes off?

You know it.

[ Laughter ]

That's the last of it.

You guys sure packed a lot
for a weekend trip.

Foofie, we are finally
getting to meet the famous Sid.

Have you been hiding him
from us?

I have.
Like, really, yeah.

Stephen and Margaret have been
showing me family photos.

How did you never tell me you
were a Little Miss Death Games?

Mom, this is
so embarrassing!

I only did the Death Games
because you said

it would be good
for my college applications.

Of course,
it's always my fault.

Oh, new people!
[ Laughs ]

Freya: Scraps, down.
Down! No! Hey!
[ Shouting ]

No! No!
Down, boy!
Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Go to your bed.
Go to your bed.
No. No.

Sorry, he's just
really friendly.

So nice to meet you guys.
Ugh!

Its got its wet all over me.

Would you take me up to the
main house so I can wash up?

Um, this is the main house.

I don't understand.
I thought this was a...

little mudroom
to remove the filth.

I can't sleep in a place
like this. I'm too delicate.

Oh, why don't
the two of you

come stay with us
for the weekend?

Yeah, we would love to.

Oh, well, I think what Sid
is trying to say is --

we're good, thanks.
What do you mean?

You were literally saying
earlier we're failing at life --

Oh, that?
I was just being ironic.

Like, "Oh, we have no money,
and we live in a dump,

and our careers
are going nowhere.

We're failing at life!"

But we're actually
doing great.

Really, really, really,
really great.

[ Rattling, child screeches ]

[ Snarling ]

I'll go pack my bag.

[ Children growling ]

♪♪

Hey, this is probably
going to take a while,

so you don't have to loom
over me the whole time.

Oh, so you think I'd trust
a robot to roam free in my home?

Wouldn't want you
stealing my batteries

or getting all handsy
with my microwave.

Oh, uh, I think I found
your problem.

There's something
stuck in the drain.

♪♪

Oh, what is it?

Almost looks like a toe bone
from a human skeleton.

[ Laughs nervously ]
That is so random.

How'd that get in there?

Here, let me see that.

Holly:
Who is she, Morris?

Is it that skeleton slut
that you slept with

at your high school reunion?

Well, that's not a sentence
you hear every day.

You said it was
a one-time thing.

It's not like that.

I-- I'm a serial killer.

Yeah, that's it.

That's a trophy
from one of my kills.

I'm sick.
I need help.

I am through with you,
Morris.

I'm taking Timmy
to my sister's.

You can't leave.
I mean literally.

Your instructions say you have
to take care of my every need.

Well, you should have read
the fine print.

There's an exception
for lying pieces of shit!

Ooh!
She's dead to me,
I swear.

♪♪

[ Grandiose music plays ]

Wow, Freya, this place
has everything!

Clean water,
flying cars.

And this strange
invisible forcefield.

That's glass.

"Guh-lass."

That's spectacular.

Hey, kids! Care to join me
for a round of Pegasus polo?

You have Pegasuses here?
Ha! I'm in!

No, thanks. I'm just gonna do
my work and pretend

that I haven't fully
given up on life.

You have fun, though.

Shall we, Stephen?

Oh, please. Call me Dad.

Okay, Dad.
Let's go, Dad. [ Laughs ]

I love you, Dad.

♪♪

Foofie, sweetheart!

I 3-D printed a grilled
cheese sandwich for you,

your favorite.
Mom!

I'm in the middle of working.

You can't just barge in
like that.

Oh, is this your
little lord-warring?

It's warlording.
And I'll have you know,

I'm actually doing
really well for myself.

Well, at least
you're having fun.

Oh, by the way, your father
is hosting

one of his silly charity events
later.

Do you mind cleaning up
your toys?

They're not toys,
they're strategic miniatures.

[ Strategic miniatures
rattling ]

You may put the grilled cheese
on top, thank you.

♪♪

Whoa, baby.

Jackpot!

♪♪

Do you mind?
That's my breakfast.

Oh, sorry. Y-- You must be
the family pet.

I-- I'm Scraps.

What is your breed?
My what?

For instance,
I am a seventh-generation

Yorkshire toy eunuch.

I've been bred
for my weak knees

and inability
to breathe properly.

Oh, and that's
a-a good thing?

Don't make me laugh.

[ Wheezing laugh ]

Whereas you seem to have
all of your teeth

and no discernible diseases.

Let me guess --
you're a mutt.

Ugh, I'm so embarrassed.
[ Chuckles ]

W-We can still hang out
though, right?

"Hang out," like those testicles
you still presumably have?

[ Laughs derisively ]
Are they at least petite,

or more of
the "big dirty dangler" variety?

Big dirty danglers.

Well, I'm off to have
my weekly injections

so my butthole
doesn't fall out.

Ta.

[ Groaning in pain ]

Dang.
Dude's a friggin' pimp.

♪♪

[ Slurps ]

You know who I feel bad for?
Holly.

Good luck trying to find
another guy as rich and powerful

and as virile as I am.

Have I mentioned
how virile I am?

Oh, yes.
It's come up several times

in this conversation.

She's nuts, I tell you.

All my exes are wackos.

And we're sure it's definitely
not any issues on your end?

Oh, so now the robot is
an expert on how humans work?

Alright,
forget I said anything.

Oh, no, no.
I-I really wanna know

what you think.

This is gonna be good.

Alright.

I think you have
bad relationships

because you're afraid
of being vulnerable.

You hide behind your wealth
and status,

but deep down, you're just
a scared, lonely child --

if I had to guess,
possibly due

to an emotionally unavailable
mother.

♪♪

[ Slurps ]

Would you excuse me
for a moment?

Goodbye cruel world.

[ Rattling ]

Morris?

[Muffled] Leave me alone!
Let me drown.

It doesn't work like that.
You're clearly still breathing.

I can't do anything right!

I lost the one woman
who would put up with me

because I needed to feel
like a big man.

But I'm just a sad, stupid loser
who's gonna die alone.

And now I'm crying
in front of a robot!

How pathetic is that?

No, no, it's not pathetic.

You're being vulnerable.

It is...

beautiful.

You don't really mean that.

Hey, I'm gonna throw something
out there, and --

and this might seem
completely crazy,

but can I paint you?

♪♪

I think I'd like that.

The youths of today
face many challenges --

nuclear winter,
roving gangs of bandits --

but the greatest challenge
of all

is a lack of classical music
appreciation.

But thanks to your
generous donations,

we will be dropping thousands
of violins down upon Earth,

so these poor little lost souls

can stop crying
over their dead moms

and start playing some Brahms.

[ Laughter ]

Foofie! There you are.

I wanted to introduce you
to my dear friend Susan's

nephew, Levi.

He's into warlording,
just like you!

I'd love to grab a coffee
sometime,

and chat about the biz.

Mom, I told you,
I don't need your help, okay?

I'm doing really well.
I'm not some newbie.

Oh, I'm not a newbie.
I actually just got back

from sacking
the Great Golden City.

Uh, wait, you sacked
the Great Golden City?

Yeah, they chant my name,
build monuments in my honor.

It's pretty hype.
How about you?

Sack any good spots recently?

Oh, um...

Yeah, do you know
of Mud Valley?

I -- It's kinda
low profile,

but also pretty hype
because it's so muddy.

Tight.

Well, I should probably go.

Oh, um, do you still want
to grab coffee sometime?

I'd really love to collab
on something.

Here. Can -- Can --
I'm gonna give you my number.

Uh, actually, I'll have one
of my henchmen reach out.

Thanks.

Wow.
That was truly humiliating.

Foofie, it doesn't
look like things

are going very well for you.

You know, there's no shame
in moving back home.

Wait, what?

You could work for the family
business,

and Sid can live a life
of luxury like Stephen.

Just think about it.

Oh, there's Susan.

She claims she hasn't had
any work done,

but that unicorn horn
didn't grow by itself.

[ Laughs ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Say, what do you call a guy
with no brains or no eyeballs?

You when you picked
these outfits.
[ Gasps ]

[ Laughter ]
That is very rude.

Not nice. How about
a little kiss for Daddy?

♪♪

Crowd: Aww!
Sid?

Oh, hey, Freya!

You're missing
the father-son talent show.

I'm sorry, I can't even begin
to unpack that right now.

But you will not believe
what my mom just said to me --

She said we should
move to Olympus

and live here rent-free
for as long as we want.

I mean, can you believe
that shit?

Wait, that's a bad thing?

Yeah, of course
it's a bad thing!

She just wants to rub it
in my face

how amazing her life
turned out

and how mine's just
a big fat failure.

I don't know.
Your parents have been nothing

but kind to us.
Is it possible they're not doing

anything bad,
and this is just, like,

a little bit
your ego talking?

No, I know they're doing
something bad.

I just can't explain exactly
what or how, but it's something.

Hey, come on, dummy.
It's showtime.

Ha! Sorry, dummy --
that's my cue.

Who are you calling dummy,
dummy?

[ Laughter ]

Where were we?
[ Sighs ]

Yak-yak-yak.

[ Whirring ]

You have such
intriguing features.

Soft eyes.
A childlike smile.

Shut up.

[ Lounge music plays ]

Why are you being
so nice to me

after I was such
a jerk to you?

Everyone needs
a helping hand.

Even if they don't
always deserve it.

Boy, I was wrong
about you, Tai.

I thought robots were
missing humanity.

But you're the most
human being I know.

Thank you, Morris.
That means a lot.

[ Bleeping ]

Oh, shoot.

I'm out of toner.

I think I need to switch
cartridges.

♪ If your heart
was ever there ♪

Stupid thing. They put it in
such a weird spot.

Can I help?

Oh.

Uh, I've never let anyone
do that before.

Well, a wise man once told me
that vulnerability

is a beautiful thing.

Okay.

♪♪

♪ Did you ever really cry ♪

Like this?

No, put it in
the other way.

It sort of clicks in.

Yeah, just like that.

[ Whirring ]

♪ ...tell a lie? ♪

♪♪

And then I said,
"You call this a yacht?

I've pissed on bigger
fire hydrants!"

[ Laughter ]

Scraps: May I cut in?

[ Upbeat music plays ]

♪♪

♪♪

Scraps,
y-you look different.

Different good?

Different very good.

Everyone, this is my friend,
Scraps.

So is anyone else spraying
terrible diarrhea

with some green in it?

Yeah. [ Laughs ]
Mm, just sensational.

Yes, that's right.
Mom.

Yeah?
Can I talk to you?

Oh.

What did I do this time?

I want to apologize.

I've been
a total jerk to you,

and I think it's just
because I'm embarrassed

that my life hasn't panned out
to be as good as yours.

And maybe it's not such
a bad idea to move back home.

[Laughing] Oh, Foofie,
that is wonderful news!

I can't wait
to tell your dad.

He's gonna be so excited
to receive his new organs.

What was that last part?

Oh, I didn't tell you?

Stephen wants to harvest
Sid's organs for his own use.

And that's worth killing Sid?
I thought you liked him.

We do like him...

for a starter husband.

I mean, let's be real,
the boy is Wasteland trash.

Oh, my God.
I need to find Sid.

Wait, Foofie,
you're being ridiculous.

Foofie!

Ah, this is the life,
ain't it, Pops?

It sure is, champ.

Sid, we gotta get out of here.
My parents are planning to --

Oh, my God!

Ah, Freya.
Hello.

Stephen and I have retired
to the gentlemen's quarters

to smoke cigars.

But I must say, they are
making me quite light-headed.

Sid, he's stealing
your organs!

What?
Don't be ridiculous.

Oh, my God!
You're stealing my organs!

Daddy, how could you?

It isn't personal.

You're still
my sweet baby boy!

Come on, let's go!

Baby boy!

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Light music plays ]

Move! Out of my way!

Freya!

Give me back my son!

Foofie, where are you going?

You're being so dramatic.

They're gonna catch us!

Not if I have anything
to do with it.

Eat spleen!
Oh!

And have some appendix!

Yucky!
Take this.

Wait, wait, wait,
that's your heart!

Ugh, thank you.

Well, well.

Looks like the trash
learned to take out itself.

Hey, that's my Mommy and Daddy
you're talking about.

Oh, Scraps, come on.

You're better than that.

You're a pure-breed now.

Yeah, well, you're all wet.

Oh! [ Shrieks ]

No!
I'm allergic to water!

And that's a good thing!

[ Groans, sobs ]

Hey, hey, sorry I'm late.

Scraps?
You look like a freak.

Aw, you're too kind.

Foofie, why would you go back
to your sad little life

when you can have
all of this?

Because I don't want to
live your life.

I want my life.

♪♪

[ Elevator doors close,
bell dings ]

You gotta hit P2.
We're on P1.

Oh, okay.
My bad.

Have a nice day.

Don't slip on the guts.

[ Groans ]
Bye.

Well, it --
it may take a while,

but I think I'm gonna come
through this a better man.

Thank you, Tai.
Today was really special for me.

It was special for me, too.

You're a good man,
Morris Rubinstein.

So what do you say?
Uh, same time next week?

We could have a few drinks,
break out the Twister,

see where it goes.

Yeah, I was kind of hoping
this would be a one-time thing.

I don't know how my robot
friends would feel about me

palling around
with a crotchety old human.

You understand, right?

Hey, I-I was
doing you a favor.

You think I want to be friends
with a glorified tin can?

Yeah, right.

Alright, well, good.

Bye, I guess.

[ Door opens ]
Go suck on a floppy disk!

[ Door closes ]

♪♪

♪ Trying his best to take
the same big steps ♪

♪ That his daddy took ♪

♪ Johnny was small
I was 10 feet tall ♪

♪ I could write a book ♪

♪ About a father and his son,
and the things we've done ♪

♪ And the way life looked ♪

♪ I taught him how to whistle
through his teeth ♪

♪ And I taught him
how to bait a hook ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

Are you sad to be back
in our crummy little house

with our crummy little lives?

I wouldn't have it
any other way.

Ow! Christ.
[ Hisses ]

[ Groans ]
Cool.

Think I put all your organs
back in place.

Thank you.
How do you feel?

Good.

Do you feel like
I'm maybe missing something?

Oh.

Aw, man.
What is this?

I mean, it's probably not vital,
right?

I feel fine.
I guess I'll just leave it.

Yeah.
[ Wet splat ]