Minx (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - Oh, so you're the sun now? You're the giver of life? - full transcript
♪ ♪
- ♪ See that girl,
barefootin' along ♪
♪ Whistlin' and singin',
she's a-carryin' on ♪
♪ There's laughing
in her eyes ♪
♪ Dancing in her feet ♪
♪ She's a neon-light diamond ♪
♪ She can live on the street ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey,
oh, by the way ♪
♪ Come and party every day ♪
♪ Come and party every day ♪
♪ Well, everybody's dancin'
in a ring around the sun ♪
♪ Nobody's finished,
we ain't even begun ♪
- ♪ Hey, hey, hey,
oh, by the way ♪
♪ Come and party every day ♪
- Well, Dick, people already
think feminism is a dirty word,
so I say if you can't beat 'em,
join 'em.
Too glib?
Too glib.
Well, Dick, I've always found
the best truths are naked ones.
Oh, that is good.
Doug, where have you been?
- Who's Doug?
Maggie! Oh!
- Tell me everything.
If you elope, I will kill you.
- Oh, I'm so glad you made it.
- Well, I only had to tell a
little fib to get out of work.
- Oh.
- We're on deadline as always.
But there was no way
I was gonna miss you
on Dick friggin' Cavett!
- I know!
Can you believe how crazy--
I mean, this has all
happened so fast.
- You are famous.
And this is just the beginning.
- You know, they put me
up at the Plaza.
My room has three phones,
this entryway chandelier,
and its own echo.
- I always knew you would
come back to New York
in triumph.
Your magazine is--wow.
I do not how you pull it off.
- Well, you know me.
I've always found the best
truths are naked ones.
- Oh, that is good!
You should say that.
- It's good, right?
I'm using that.
- Oh, and Betsy?
Senior editor? Since when?
- That is a story.
So Guinevere was in Staden--
- Miss Prigger,
you're needed in makeup.
- Oh, Miss Prigger,
you're needed in makeup.
- Stop it.
- She's a summer.
Don't put her in a plum.
- Thank you.
- So you got
that California glow.
Ever been to New York?
- What is progress
if not the expansion
of freedom and opportunity?
That's all the Vietnamese want.
Who's the US government
to try and stop them?
Hey, Joselyn,
can you come here a sec?
After you do the dishes, can--
oof, five eggs?
What's her name?
Who was the blonde
with the funny walk
who was here before her?
- Oh, um, Patty.
- Yeah, Patty.
She used to get way more eggs
out of those birds.
- Oh, sorry.
I'm just getting
the hang of it.
- Yeah, well,
the chickens can tell.
- This is Sven. He's new.
He'll be taking Roger's room.
- Oh, why?
What happened to Roger?
- Pigs busted his head in
at our Wall Street action.
Parents had to fly in from
Aspen just to take him home.
- Oh, God, that's awful.
Um, I don't wanna cause
any problems
but, um, my understanding
was that rooms here
were assigned based on
seniority,
and I'm still on that moldy
mattress in the pantry.
- Yeah, but Sven's from Europe,
so--
- Guys, there's no way
we're walking these things
to Washington Square.
Make them too big, they're not
gonna fit in the van.
- Those milk jugs
get any bigger,
they're not gonna fit
in the van either.
♪ ♪
- Sit down.
One more.
Billy, please one more.
Please.
- All right. One more.
Then I gotta hit the road.
Drive any drunker,
ain't no autograph
getting me out of that trouble.
- Right.
That's "fitty" for each titty,
little lady.
- Keep drinking,
I might be able to get my baby
out of public school.
- I'm just admiring
a fine pair of breasts
and she's gotta
mention her kid?
Talk about a boner bomb.
- Yeah.
- Still, I'd tax that.
Hard.
See, that's a flavor
that we don't currently have
at the magazine.
I'm seeing the perfect storm
between man and moment, Billy.
- I don't know, Doug.
On the one hand,
showing my hog,
that's pure Billy Brunson.
Classic GOAT.
On the other,
I don't like the idea
of fairies beating off to me.
- Well, this magazine is not
for the homosexual community.
It's for women.
- Yeah?
- A lot of them.
I just got out of
a meeting with Seagram's.
I wasn't gonna say this,
but I got Detroit
on lines three, four,
and five, okay?
And if you're thinking
about what comes next
for Billy Brunson
after football,
this launches that.
- Why y'all gotta do
all that women's lib crap?
Down in 'Bama,
we grow 'em blonde and quiet.
- So take back the mic.
I mean, how many times
you been on the cover
of "Sports Illustrated"?
Six?
- Seven.
- Maybe it's time to make
some new news, Billy.
You want that ex-wife of yours
to be unable to escape
your face.
- Ol' Warren Beatty
dumped her quick
after I whopped his ass.
I'm gonna tell you,
I don't hate women, Doug.
- Oh, I know that, Billy.
It's one of the things
I admire most about you.
- But I might punch out
the occasional movie star
if he plows my ex.
I framed the restraining order.
- Now, why don't we publish it
in the magazine?
- I could pose like Clyde
from Bonnie and Clyde.
That'd be a nice ol' dig.
- Give you a Tommy gun
to hold onto.
- Tommy gun?
Brother, with what I'm packing,
you ain't gonna need
no other gun.
- ♪ Ah! Come on now ♪
♪ Huh!
Let me tell you something ♪
- Ooh, this cheese
is starting to bubble.
Get in here.
- Picasso's got nothing
on my bread cubes.
- Shot break!
Everyone grab some tequi-qui.
- "Minx" is primetime, baby.
- Whoo!
- Yes!
Mmm. That's the good stuff.
- Mm-hmm.
Now, Miss Tina, I know you got
fondue forks somewhere.
- Pantry.
- Ah.
- Grass break!
- Okay, before you get
too excited,
there will be no acid break...
- Aww.
- This evening.
- What are these?
- Nothing.
My dad sent them.
- Well, first of all,
your dad's dead.
Secondly, why are you hiding
ghost dad's flowers
in the pantry?
Did I miss grass break?
- ♪ Tina has a boyfriend ♪
- Bookstore Bill?
- It's nobody.
Can't a girl
buy herself some roses?
- Come on.
You have to tell us.
Is it your second cousin Derek?
- He's my nephew.
- You said he was cute.
- He's 12.
Oh, my God.
Doug?
- Again?
- I'm telling you, man.
I'm on the goddamn list.
I'm the publisher
of the magazine.
- What magazine?
- "Minx"!
My lady editor is on the show.
And I--and I am
the reason she's here!
- Renetti, not on the list.
I can't let you up.
- Then call somebody, please.
- It's two minutes to air.
There's no one to call.
You are out of luck.
I'm sorry.
- Right there. Joyce Prigger.
Her plus two.
I'm that little scribble.
I'm the second scribble.
It's Doug Renetti.
- Oh, wow.
That is small.
Yeah, go ahead.
You're in.
- "The Dick Cavett Show."
On tonight's program,
from "Minx" magazine,
- Shh, shh, shh.
- Editor Joyce Prigger.
- Most of you are aware by now
of the Women's Liberation
Movement.
A lot of women in this
country feel that,
well, society isn't exactly
fair in its treatment of them.
They're tired of being
pushed around
and they want things to change.
I'd like to bring
out someone who has
a somewhat unique
point of view on all this.
She's the editor
of "Minx" magazine,
which, if you haven't
figured by now,
is not about semiaquatic,
carnivorous mammals.
- I'd show you more,
but they'd cancel my show
if I did.
The magazine has taken
the publishing world by storm,
selling out its second issue
in a matter of days.
But is it feminist?
Is it pornography?
Can it be both?
Let's find out.
Please welcome Joyce Prigger.
- Welcome.
- Hello. Thank you.
- It seems like
you've got some fans.
- Well, women can be loud
when they use their voices.
It's not so scary, is it?
- Oh, I'm afraid of everything.
I'm what'd you call
an equal opportunity wimp.
- Don t sell yourself short,
Dick.
With our photographer,
even you could be a "Minx" man.
- I don't think
the world is ready for that.
- What do you say?
You wanna take a peek
behind Dick Cavett's curtains?
- Okay, okay.
Who's interviewing who here?
Are you gunning
for my job, lady?
- A female talk show host?
I think it's about time.
- If I can do it, anyone can.
- So how did you
get into all this?
You've got this
straight-laced background.
- Mm-hmm.
- Went to a fancy college.
I mean, as a little girl,
is this where you imagined
you'd be?
- Well, Dick,
in my childhood fantasy,
I was on "Ed Sullivan,"
not here.
And then Sven
throws me this look like,
"Oops, sorry but not sorry."
- A hundred bucks
this Sven character
tries to sleep with you.
- Oh, he already did.
Maybe I'd like life
on the commune.
- You wouldn't last
a single day.
- Oh, you smell nice.
- You bought
my shampoo for me.
- I mean, you're here enough.
- So you went all the way
down to Bigelow to get it?
- Yeah--sent Francine.
- Poor Francine.
- You know,
I really think this piece
is gonna cause a seismic shift.
Nobody's writing about
gender dynamics
within the anti-war movement.
These are good liberals
who are just awful to women.
I think it's gonna make
a lot of people uncomfortable.
- Not as uncomfortable
as that ratty pantry mattress,
I hope.
- Listen, I am more than
willing to suffer
for a good story.
- My guess is you probably
make it.
Probably?
- Indubitably.
- And so I say
to this councilwoman,
"If you're gonna plaster
my face all over the place
"on signs with devil horns,
then at least
use a picture from
my good side, you know?"
Oh, it's this one.
- And all that negativity,
that didn't get to you?
A lot of people would
just curl up and hide.
- Points. Points.
- Oh, yeah, excuse me.
- Excuse me. Sorry.
- Sorry. Sorry.
- Excuse me.
- Didn't see you.
- Excuse me.
- You've got this armor
that protects you from critics.
- That'll do it.
- Secondly, I would say,
if it bothers you,
don't buy it.
- Hello.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought this--
Wait a second. I recognize you.
You're Simone de B--no.
- That French name
I can't pronounce.
That's not you?
Germaine Greer?
- Closer.
She's Australian and a friend.
- Victoria Hartnett.
- "Suffering Suffragettes."
Yeah.
Joyce had me read it.
I gotta say, not bad.
- Oh, why, thank you.
Nothing quite damns
like faint praise.
- Doug Renetti.
Publisher of "Minx."
- Oh.
The wretched pornographer.
- I prefer "vile."
- Well, I have to give you
credit, Mr. Renetti.
I don't know a lot of men
who'd stand back here
and let her
be the one out there.
- Oh, well,
I'm a good businessman
and she's good for business.
She's come a long way,
that one.
- Oh, and from where
did she travel?
- Oh, I don't wanna say
from nowhere,
but that technically
wouldn't be
the wrong address with her.
- And then came you.
Do tell.
- And maybe, just maybe,
they will find the strength
in other parts
of their life as well.
- Or they'll just
blush and giggle.
We'll be right back.
- So far, so good.
♪ ♪
- So are you guys going
open and official?
Secret office romance?
What's the play this time?
- What about Calvin, huh?
He had that sexy insurance job.
- Snooze, Richie.
Tina deserves more
than life insurance.
She deserves adventure.
- So then date a pirate
or Evel Knievel.
- Doug's kind of both.
I guess I like a cheap thrill.
I get it, but it really does
feel different this time.
- Oh, so he's dealt
with his childhood trauma?
His two ex-wives?
Tina, I just wanna
see you happy.
- Good, because I am.
- You're a natural.
I wasn't joking before.
You play your cards right,
you're going to have options.
That's good for now.
Thanks.
- I turned in my draft
this morning.
- Mm-hmm.
- I pulled an all-nighter
polishing.
Oh, God, I am sweating.
I'm also cold, you know,
and nauseated.
I'm seeing spots as well.
I should not have had
that second cup of tea.
- Here. Eat something.
I'm sure it's great.
You are a better writer
that 95% of these meatballs.
You know,
it's only a matter of time
before George
gives you a byline.
You are so beyond a researcher.
- We both are.
- Thank you.
- It's just--
it's so hard to tell
what he's thinking, you know?
He was profoundly encouraging
when I told him that
I wanted to do it,
but then when I turned it in--
- He did that noncommittal
George thing
where he gets really quiet
and his eyes narrow
and you can't tell
if he's thinking about
you or his lunch?
- Yes.
- Men are so good at that.
- All I want in life
is for people to look at me,
have no idea what I'm thinking,
and then be really worried.
- Yeah.
I think that's right.
Just crop in on her
a little bit.
And make sure
that we can see her face.
- Aww.
Who doesn't love
a good office fling?
- In five, four,
three, two--
- Welcome back.
We're talking about
feminism and pornography,
and we're having a good time.
We're having
a good time, right?
- A great time, Dick.
- So glad to hear it.
I wanna expand
the conversation.
Bring out another guest.
She's probably America's
foremost voice
on women's issues.
An author. An advocate.
She's been a guest here
a number of times
and just, well,
a really smart lady.
Please welcome,
Victoria Hartnett.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
This is such an honor.
Really this is--wow.
- Oh, well,
will you look at this?
I didn't even know academics
could have groupies.
- I've only spent
my entire senior year
reading and rereading
"The Whore of Babylon
Revisited."
- Oh.
- That work is just--
it's seminal.
- Thank you.
It cost me my first marriage,
so I'm glad someone
got something
positive out of it.
- I brought Victoria on
because, you know,
we like to have
a variety of viewpoints.
Makes for more interesting
conversation.
And, well, let me just ask,
what do you think of "Minx"?
- Well, first of all,
let me say I admire
any woman who pushes
society's expectations
of what they can and cannot
do or be,
so brava.
- Thank you.
- But I think a magazine
like "Minx"
is harmful to the cause,
maybe even a little insidious.
We have a serious agenda
for women
in this nation, on this planet.
- Absolutely.
- Then why are
we blathering about
penises and pornographers?
- I--I write
about critical issues.
- Yes, you do, superficially.
But even that is drowned
in a sea of salaciousness.
- Salaciousness?
There are a few
naked pictures, sure,
but there are pages and pages
of serious content.
- Listen, my dear,
I'm sure your heart
is in the right place
and I wouldn't
call you a victim
but, in a sense,
you have been used.
- This might be why they say
you don't wanna
meet your heroes.
- Not helpful, Dick.
- Your content is cover
for a very clever businessman
to expand into an enormous
untapped market for pornography
to sell cigarettes and alcohol
and automobiles to women.
And to add insult to injury,
you've been hired as editor
but only been given
the illusion of control.
- I don't know what--no.
Okay, no.
I mean, look,
the magazine is mine.
- Mm, your publisher might
have a different opinion
on that.
- Well, this conversation
has certainly gotten spicier.
We're gonna take a quick break
and see if we can't
sort this all out.
- What is going on here, Doug?
- I don't know.
I don't know what
she's talking about.
But just stay in it.
Stay calm.
Don't take the bait
and counterpunch.
- But I'm not some pugilist.
This is my life here. My work.
And she's--
- Miss Prigger, hi.
We need you for some
touch-ups real quick.
- No, I'm fine. I don't--
- Just a small sweat issue.
You know, the camera adds
a bit of a glimmer
when the lights get hot.
- Oh.
- Stay in the fight.
Stay in the fight.
- Mr. Renetti?
- Yeah.
- Can our producer
talk to you for a second?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Welcome back.
We've been having
a spirited conversation
about naked men.
Boy, this is a weird job
sometimes.
Is a magazine full of them
a feminist act
or just a nasty ploy
to distract the ladies,
get them to stop asking
for raises and stuff?
- Reductive, Dick,
but not inaccurate.
- The male publisher of "Minx"
has come up a few times
in conversation.
He's here tonight.
I wanna have him out
and see what he has to say.
Please welcome
Douglas J. Renetti.
- What an honor.
- Someone's got some pep
in his step.
- Well, I'm excited to be here.
I love New York.
The energy, the dirt,
all of it.
Have you been to Times Square?
A man in your profession
might need to,
I wanna say "peep"
the competition.
- Very funny.
No, I come here on business.
Meeting with advertisers,
that sort of thing.
- And have you always been
in adult entertainment?
- No, I started with a few
penny savers, coupon clippers.
And I saw an opportunity,
so I got a small loan
and I busted my butt,
title by title.
You're looking at
the American dream, Dick,
in the flesh.
- Oh, wow.
- I couldn't have
said it better myself.
Kind of wish I did.
Now, you've been following
our conversation.
Just who's in control
of your magazine, you, Joyce?
- Well, we share
a dynamic partnership.
I think Joyce would
say the same thing.
At Bottom Dollar, we share an
"all hands on deck" philosophy.
Right?
- Yup.
- But the buck has gotta
stop somewhere.
- Doug would never overstep
into editorial, no.
He has suggestions,
like all publishers,
but "Minx" is under
my direction.
- Huh. Mr. Renetti was actually
regaling me backstage
with plans for a future issue
for your magazine.
- Stop it now.
We were just gabbing
pro to pro. You know it.
- Don't play humble now,
Mr. Renetti.
You were very, very proud.
You were beaming, even,
about your next cover.
- Oh, no.
We have not settled
on the cover
for our next issue, no.
- That's correct.
No, we haven't.
We are in the early stages,
just talking to people.
- Well, we love process here.
Love to see how
the sausage gets made.
I'm sorry. I couldn't help it.
I'm just a--
- That was good. That was good.
- Comic at heart, people.
But we also happen to
have quite a few readers
in the audience--
people who might be
interested in what you have
on tap.
Unless you don't like
free advertising, Mr. Renetti.
- Oh, you know I love
free advertising.
And thank you
to all the readers.
- There's nothing to--
to share right now.
- Perhaps we could let
the cat out of the bag
a little bit.
- There's no cat.
- Considering--
there might be a cat.
There might be a big cat.
- I can get you a drumroll.
Do you wanna a drumroll?
- No.
- Yeah.
- No. We don't need a drumroll.
- Bobby, hit it!
- Doug, you don't need
a drumroll.
- I don't need a drumroll.
- He doesn't need a drumroll
'cause there's nothing
to reveal.
- Ladies and gentlemen!
In the next "Minx"
and on the cover,
posing in all
his God-given glory
will be America's favorite
quarterback,
Billy Brunson, "The GOAT"!
We got Billy Brunson!
We got him.
- Wow. This is exciting.
And you heard it here first.
- There's--there's other--
- Like I always say,
the best truths are naked ones.
- Oh, wow.
They grow up so fast.
- It's no big deal.
- Mr. McKnight, youngest writer
ever to land a cover.
- Someone has indubitably
made it.
Let me see that. Let me see.
- Pass it around.
Pass it around.
- Sweetie,
it's not all bad news.
You were obviously
on the right track.
They used your idea.
Sort of.
- A thoughtful,
original article
about misogyny in the movement
has been transmogrified
into this
pat profile of cavalier elites
written by some cavalier elite
who wasn't even there,
who didn't have to get
the eggs!
- The hen house
does sound terrifying.
This magazine is not interested
in those details.
But you survive here,
it just might get you
to someplace that is.
- He didn't even give me
any feedback.
You know, he just--
he just took it
and he just made it
into something else.
God, I'm such an idiot.
I'm gonna talk to him.
- Oh, Joyce.
- A little something
for the road ahead.
- Oh.
You shouldn't have.
- I sent Francine.
- Hey, before you say anything,
I was backed into a corner.
- Yeah, right.
The whole thing was staged.
Great television, Doug.
When did they tell you about
Victoria Hartnett, back in LA?
- What are you talking about?
I didn't know anything
about it.
- Okay.
And then the Billy bomb.
Completely spontaneous.
- Yes, it was.
You got the lights, you got
people staring, the band.
He's got an orchestra, Joyce.
What I'm gonna do,
say no to a drumroll?
No one's ever done that ever.
- Doug Renetti,
a leaf on a stream
being merrily carried along.
"Ooh, wherever
will it take me next?"
- I screwed up, okay?
But I swear I didn't know
anything about the other guest.
- Oh, please. And Billy?
- Fine.
I took a flyer with
an old PR contact
and I got a meeting with Billy,
okay?
But I did not think
that Billy was gonna show.
And I definitely didn't think
he was gonna say yes.
And that's the truth.
It was wrong of me to do any
of this without consulting you.
- It was wrong of you
to do any of this, period!
You know, men like you,
you're an eclipse.
You don't mean to do it
but you can't help
but just block out the sun!
- Oh, so you're the sun now?
You're the giver of life?
Joyce, let me explain
something to you.
We are on an incredible
hot streak.
Out third issue is gonna have
the 11th highest circulation
of any magazine.
- Yes, thanks to whom?
- Let me finish!
- Thanks to my work.
Thanks to my work.
- Three issues!
We are changing the game,
Joyce.
And I'm not gonna apologize
to you or to anybody
for playing it like
a goddamn all-star.
And if you don't like my sports
analogy, tough shit.
It's my ball.
My rules. You get it?
- Yeah.
This is everything you'll need
for issue three of "Minx,"
save for the centerfold,
which you have
already taken care of.
I believe that fulfills
the terms of our agreement.
- Stop it.
You're not leaving like this.
You care too much.
- I thought I had done enough
to earn your respect,
but I will not allow
people to treat me this way.
Not anymore.
- Listen, J--
- ♪ Sweet silver angels
over the sea ♪
♪ Please come down
flying low for me ♪
- I got it. I'll do the rest.
- Okay.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
- ♪ I heard his sweet song ♪
- Love you.
- You too.
- ♪ And it was gently
enticing me ♪
♪ Though there was
something wrong ♪
♪ But when I turned ♪
- It'll be fine, right?
- Sure.
- ♪ Blinding me, his song
remains, reminding me ♪
♪ He's a bandit
and a heart breaker ♪
♪ Oh, but Jesus
was a cross maker ♪
♪ Sweet silver angels
over the sea ♪
♪ Please come down
flying low for me ♪
♪ He wages war with the devil,
a pistol by his side ♪
♪ And though he chases him
out windows ♪
♪ And won't give him a place
to hide ♪
♪ He keeps his door
open wide ♪
♪ Blinding him, he lights
a lamp, inviting him ♪
♪ He's a bandit
and a heartbreaker ♪
♪ Oh, but Jesus
was a cross maker ♪
♪ Sweet silver angels
over the sea ♪
♪ Please come down
flying low for me ♪
♪ I heard the thunder
come rumbling ♪
♪ The light
never looked so dim ♪
♪ I see the junction
get nearer ♪
♪ And danger is in the wind ♪
♪ And either road's
looking grim ♪
♪ Hiding me,
earthly desire dividing me ♪
♪ He's a bandit
and a heart breaker ♪
♪ Oh, but Jesus
was a cross maker ♪
♪ Yes, Jesus
was a cross maker ♪
♪ Sweet silver angels
over the sea ♪
♪ Please come down
flying low ♪
♪ For me ♪
♪ One time,
I trusted a stranger ♪
♪ 'Cause I heard
his sweet song ♪
♪ And it was gently
enticing me ♪
♪ Though there was
something wrong ♪
♪ But when I turned,
he was gone ♪
- ♪ See that girl,
barefootin' along ♪
♪ Whistlin' and singin',
she's a-carryin' on ♪
♪ There's laughing
in her eyes ♪
♪ Dancing in her feet ♪
♪ She's a neon-light diamond ♪
♪ She can live on the street ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey,
oh, by the way ♪
♪ Come and party every day ♪
♪ Come and party every day ♪
♪ Well, everybody's dancin'
in a ring around the sun ♪
♪ Nobody's finished,
we ain't even begun ♪
- ♪ Hey, hey, hey,
oh, by the way ♪
♪ Come and party every day ♪
- Well, Dick, people already
think feminism is a dirty word,
so I say if you can't beat 'em,
join 'em.
Too glib?
Too glib.
Well, Dick, I've always found
the best truths are naked ones.
Oh, that is good.
Doug, where have you been?
- Who's Doug?
Maggie! Oh!
- Tell me everything.
If you elope, I will kill you.
- Oh, I'm so glad you made it.
- Well, I only had to tell a
little fib to get out of work.
- Oh.
- We're on deadline as always.
But there was no way
I was gonna miss you
on Dick friggin' Cavett!
- I know!
Can you believe how crazy--
I mean, this has all
happened so fast.
- You are famous.
And this is just the beginning.
- You know, they put me
up at the Plaza.
My room has three phones,
this entryway chandelier,
and its own echo.
- I always knew you would
come back to New York
in triumph.
Your magazine is--wow.
I do not how you pull it off.
- Well, you know me.
I've always found the best
truths are naked ones.
- Oh, that is good!
You should say that.
- It's good, right?
I'm using that.
- Oh, and Betsy?
Senior editor? Since when?
- That is a story.
So Guinevere was in Staden--
- Miss Prigger,
you're needed in makeup.
- Oh, Miss Prigger,
you're needed in makeup.
- Stop it.
- She's a summer.
Don't put her in a plum.
- Thank you.
- So you got
that California glow.
Ever been to New York?
- What is progress
if not the expansion
of freedom and opportunity?
That's all the Vietnamese want.
Who's the US government
to try and stop them?
Hey, Joselyn,
can you come here a sec?
After you do the dishes, can--
oof, five eggs?
What's her name?
Who was the blonde
with the funny walk
who was here before her?
- Oh, um, Patty.
- Yeah, Patty.
She used to get way more eggs
out of those birds.
- Oh, sorry.
I'm just getting
the hang of it.
- Yeah, well,
the chickens can tell.
- This is Sven. He's new.
He'll be taking Roger's room.
- Oh, why?
What happened to Roger?
- Pigs busted his head in
at our Wall Street action.
Parents had to fly in from
Aspen just to take him home.
- Oh, God, that's awful.
Um, I don't wanna cause
any problems
but, um, my understanding
was that rooms here
were assigned based on
seniority,
and I'm still on that moldy
mattress in the pantry.
- Yeah, but Sven's from Europe,
so--
- Guys, there's no way
we're walking these things
to Washington Square.
Make them too big, they're not
gonna fit in the van.
- Those milk jugs
get any bigger,
they're not gonna fit
in the van either.
♪ ♪
- Sit down.
One more.
Billy, please one more.
Please.
- All right. One more.
Then I gotta hit the road.
Drive any drunker,
ain't no autograph
getting me out of that trouble.
- Right.
That's "fitty" for each titty,
little lady.
- Keep drinking,
I might be able to get my baby
out of public school.
- I'm just admiring
a fine pair of breasts
and she's gotta
mention her kid?
Talk about a boner bomb.
- Yeah.
- Still, I'd tax that.
Hard.
See, that's a flavor
that we don't currently have
at the magazine.
I'm seeing the perfect storm
between man and moment, Billy.
- I don't know, Doug.
On the one hand,
showing my hog,
that's pure Billy Brunson.
Classic GOAT.
On the other,
I don't like the idea
of fairies beating off to me.
- Well, this magazine is not
for the homosexual community.
It's for women.
- Yeah?
- A lot of them.
I just got out of
a meeting with Seagram's.
I wasn't gonna say this,
but I got Detroit
on lines three, four,
and five, okay?
And if you're thinking
about what comes next
for Billy Brunson
after football,
this launches that.
- Why y'all gotta do
all that women's lib crap?
Down in 'Bama,
we grow 'em blonde and quiet.
- So take back the mic.
I mean, how many times
you been on the cover
of "Sports Illustrated"?
Six?
- Seven.
- Maybe it's time to make
some new news, Billy.
You want that ex-wife of yours
to be unable to escape
your face.
- Ol' Warren Beatty
dumped her quick
after I whopped his ass.
I'm gonna tell you,
I don't hate women, Doug.
- Oh, I know that, Billy.
It's one of the things
I admire most about you.
- But I might punch out
the occasional movie star
if he plows my ex.
I framed the restraining order.
- Now, why don't we publish it
in the magazine?
- I could pose like Clyde
from Bonnie and Clyde.
That'd be a nice ol' dig.
- Give you a Tommy gun
to hold onto.
- Tommy gun?
Brother, with what I'm packing,
you ain't gonna need
no other gun.
- ♪ Ah! Come on now ♪
♪ Huh!
Let me tell you something ♪
- Ooh, this cheese
is starting to bubble.
Get in here.
- Picasso's got nothing
on my bread cubes.
- Shot break!
Everyone grab some tequi-qui.
- "Minx" is primetime, baby.
- Whoo!
- Yes!
Mmm. That's the good stuff.
- Mm-hmm.
Now, Miss Tina, I know you got
fondue forks somewhere.
- Pantry.
- Ah.
- Grass break!
- Okay, before you get
too excited,
there will be no acid break...
- Aww.
- This evening.
- What are these?
- Nothing.
My dad sent them.
- Well, first of all,
your dad's dead.
Secondly, why are you hiding
ghost dad's flowers
in the pantry?
Did I miss grass break?
- ♪ Tina has a boyfriend ♪
- Bookstore Bill?
- It's nobody.
Can't a girl
buy herself some roses?
- Come on.
You have to tell us.
Is it your second cousin Derek?
- He's my nephew.
- You said he was cute.
- He's 12.
Oh, my God.
Doug?
- Again?
- I'm telling you, man.
I'm on the goddamn list.
I'm the publisher
of the magazine.
- What magazine?
- "Minx"!
My lady editor is on the show.
And I--and I am
the reason she's here!
- Renetti, not on the list.
I can't let you up.
- Then call somebody, please.
- It's two minutes to air.
There's no one to call.
You are out of luck.
I'm sorry.
- Right there. Joyce Prigger.
Her plus two.
I'm that little scribble.
I'm the second scribble.
It's Doug Renetti.
- Oh, wow.
That is small.
Yeah, go ahead.
You're in.
- "The Dick Cavett Show."
On tonight's program,
from "Minx" magazine,
- Shh, shh, shh.
- Editor Joyce Prigger.
- Most of you are aware by now
of the Women's Liberation
Movement.
A lot of women in this
country feel that,
well, society isn't exactly
fair in its treatment of them.
They're tired of being
pushed around
and they want things to change.
I'd like to bring
out someone who has
a somewhat unique
point of view on all this.
She's the editor
of "Minx" magazine,
which, if you haven't
figured by now,
is not about semiaquatic,
carnivorous mammals.
- I'd show you more,
but they'd cancel my show
if I did.
The magazine has taken
the publishing world by storm,
selling out its second issue
in a matter of days.
But is it feminist?
Is it pornography?
Can it be both?
Let's find out.
Please welcome Joyce Prigger.
- Welcome.
- Hello. Thank you.
- It seems like
you've got some fans.
- Well, women can be loud
when they use their voices.
It's not so scary, is it?
- Oh, I'm afraid of everything.
I'm what'd you call
an equal opportunity wimp.
- Don t sell yourself short,
Dick.
With our photographer,
even you could be a "Minx" man.
- I don't think
the world is ready for that.
- What do you say?
You wanna take a peek
behind Dick Cavett's curtains?
- Okay, okay.
Who's interviewing who here?
Are you gunning
for my job, lady?
- A female talk show host?
I think it's about time.
- If I can do it, anyone can.
- So how did you
get into all this?
You've got this
straight-laced background.
- Mm-hmm.
- Went to a fancy college.
I mean, as a little girl,
is this where you imagined
you'd be?
- Well, Dick,
in my childhood fantasy,
I was on "Ed Sullivan,"
not here.
And then Sven
throws me this look like,
"Oops, sorry but not sorry."
- A hundred bucks
this Sven character
tries to sleep with you.
- Oh, he already did.
Maybe I'd like life
on the commune.
- You wouldn't last
a single day.
- Oh, you smell nice.
- You bought
my shampoo for me.
- I mean, you're here enough.
- So you went all the way
down to Bigelow to get it?
- Yeah--sent Francine.
- Poor Francine.
- You know,
I really think this piece
is gonna cause a seismic shift.
Nobody's writing about
gender dynamics
within the anti-war movement.
These are good liberals
who are just awful to women.
I think it's gonna make
a lot of people uncomfortable.
- Not as uncomfortable
as that ratty pantry mattress,
I hope.
- Listen, I am more than
willing to suffer
for a good story.
- My guess is you probably
make it.
Probably?
- Indubitably.
- And so I say
to this councilwoman,
"If you're gonna plaster
my face all over the place
"on signs with devil horns,
then at least
use a picture from
my good side, you know?"
Oh, it's this one.
- And all that negativity,
that didn't get to you?
A lot of people would
just curl up and hide.
- Points. Points.
- Oh, yeah, excuse me.
- Excuse me. Sorry.
- Sorry. Sorry.
- Excuse me.
- Didn't see you.
- Excuse me.
- You've got this armor
that protects you from critics.
- That'll do it.
- Secondly, I would say,
if it bothers you,
don't buy it.
- Hello.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought this--
Wait a second. I recognize you.
You're Simone de B--no.
- That French name
I can't pronounce.
That's not you?
Germaine Greer?
- Closer.
She's Australian and a friend.
- Victoria Hartnett.
- "Suffering Suffragettes."
Yeah.
Joyce had me read it.
I gotta say, not bad.
- Oh, why, thank you.
Nothing quite damns
like faint praise.
- Doug Renetti.
Publisher of "Minx."
- Oh.
The wretched pornographer.
- I prefer "vile."
- Well, I have to give you
credit, Mr. Renetti.
I don't know a lot of men
who'd stand back here
and let her
be the one out there.
- Oh, well,
I'm a good businessman
and she's good for business.
She's come a long way,
that one.
- Oh, and from where
did she travel?
- Oh, I don't wanna say
from nowhere,
but that technically
wouldn't be
the wrong address with her.
- And then came you.
Do tell.
- And maybe, just maybe,
they will find the strength
in other parts
of their life as well.
- Or they'll just
blush and giggle.
We'll be right back.
- So far, so good.
♪ ♪
- So are you guys going
open and official?
Secret office romance?
What's the play this time?
- What about Calvin, huh?
He had that sexy insurance job.
- Snooze, Richie.
Tina deserves more
than life insurance.
She deserves adventure.
- So then date a pirate
or Evel Knievel.
- Doug's kind of both.
I guess I like a cheap thrill.
I get it, but it really does
feel different this time.
- Oh, so he's dealt
with his childhood trauma?
His two ex-wives?
Tina, I just wanna
see you happy.
- Good, because I am.
- You're a natural.
I wasn't joking before.
You play your cards right,
you're going to have options.
That's good for now.
Thanks.
- I turned in my draft
this morning.
- Mm-hmm.
- I pulled an all-nighter
polishing.
Oh, God, I am sweating.
I'm also cold, you know,
and nauseated.
I'm seeing spots as well.
I should not have had
that second cup of tea.
- Here. Eat something.
I'm sure it's great.
You are a better writer
that 95% of these meatballs.
You know,
it's only a matter of time
before George
gives you a byline.
You are so beyond a researcher.
- We both are.
- Thank you.
- It's just--
it's so hard to tell
what he's thinking, you know?
He was profoundly encouraging
when I told him that
I wanted to do it,
but then when I turned it in--
- He did that noncommittal
George thing
where he gets really quiet
and his eyes narrow
and you can't tell
if he's thinking about
you or his lunch?
- Yes.
- Men are so good at that.
- All I want in life
is for people to look at me,
have no idea what I'm thinking,
and then be really worried.
- Yeah.
I think that's right.
Just crop in on her
a little bit.
And make sure
that we can see her face.
- Aww.
Who doesn't love
a good office fling?
- In five, four,
three, two--
- Welcome back.
We're talking about
feminism and pornography,
and we're having a good time.
We're having
a good time, right?
- A great time, Dick.
- So glad to hear it.
I wanna expand
the conversation.
Bring out another guest.
She's probably America's
foremost voice
on women's issues.
An author. An advocate.
She's been a guest here
a number of times
and just, well,
a really smart lady.
Please welcome,
Victoria Hartnett.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
This is such an honor.
Really this is--wow.
- Oh, well,
will you look at this?
I didn't even know academics
could have groupies.
- I've only spent
my entire senior year
reading and rereading
"The Whore of Babylon
Revisited."
- Oh.
- That work is just--
it's seminal.
- Thank you.
It cost me my first marriage,
so I'm glad someone
got something
positive out of it.
- I brought Victoria on
because, you know,
we like to have
a variety of viewpoints.
Makes for more interesting
conversation.
And, well, let me just ask,
what do you think of "Minx"?
- Well, first of all,
let me say I admire
any woman who pushes
society's expectations
of what they can and cannot
do or be,
so brava.
- Thank you.
- But I think a magazine
like "Minx"
is harmful to the cause,
maybe even a little insidious.
We have a serious agenda
for women
in this nation, on this planet.
- Absolutely.
- Then why are
we blathering about
penises and pornographers?
- I--I write
about critical issues.
- Yes, you do, superficially.
But even that is drowned
in a sea of salaciousness.
- Salaciousness?
There are a few
naked pictures, sure,
but there are pages and pages
of serious content.
- Listen, my dear,
I'm sure your heart
is in the right place
and I wouldn't
call you a victim
but, in a sense,
you have been used.
- This might be why they say
you don't wanna
meet your heroes.
- Not helpful, Dick.
- Your content is cover
for a very clever businessman
to expand into an enormous
untapped market for pornography
to sell cigarettes and alcohol
and automobiles to women.
And to add insult to injury,
you've been hired as editor
but only been given
the illusion of control.
- I don't know what--no.
Okay, no.
I mean, look,
the magazine is mine.
- Mm, your publisher might
have a different opinion
on that.
- Well, this conversation
has certainly gotten spicier.
We're gonna take a quick break
and see if we can't
sort this all out.
- What is going on here, Doug?
- I don't know.
I don't know what
she's talking about.
But just stay in it.
Stay calm.
Don't take the bait
and counterpunch.
- But I'm not some pugilist.
This is my life here. My work.
And she's--
- Miss Prigger, hi.
We need you for some
touch-ups real quick.
- No, I'm fine. I don't--
- Just a small sweat issue.
You know, the camera adds
a bit of a glimmer
when the lights get hot.
- Oh.
- Stay in the fight.
Stay in the fight.
- Mr. Renetti?
- Yeah.
- Can our producer
talk to you for a second?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Welcome back.
We've been having
a spirited conversation
about naked men.
Boy, this is a weird job
sometimes.
Is a magazine full of them
a feminist act
or just a nasty ploy
to distract the ladies,
get them to stop asking
for raises and stuff?
- Reductive, Dick,
but not inaccurate.
- The male publisher of "Minx"
has come up a few times
in conversation.
He's here tonight.
I wanna have him out
and see what he has to say.
Please welcome
Douglas J. Renetti.
- What an honor.
- Someone's got some pep
in his step.
- Well, I'm excited to be here.
I love New York.
The energy, the dirt,
all of it.
Have you been to Times Square?
A man in your profession
might need to,
I wanna say "peep"
the competition.
- Very funny.
No, I come here on business.
Meeting with advertisers,
that sort of thing.
- And have you always been
in adult entertainment?
- No, I started with a few
penny savers, coupon clippers.
And I saw an opportunity,
so I got a small loan
and I busted my butt,
title by title.
You're looking at
the American dream, Dick,
in the flesh.
- Oh, wow.
- I couldn't have
said it better myself.
Kind of wish I did.
Now, you've been following
our conversation.
Just who's in control
of your magazine, you, Joyce?
- Well, we share
a dynamic partnership.
I think Joyce would
say the same thing.
At Bottom Dollar, we share an
"all hands on deck" philosophy.
Right?
- Yup.
- But the buck has gotta
stop somewhere.
- Doug would never overstep
into editorial, no.
He has suggestions,
like all publishers,
but "Minx" is under
my direction.
- Huh. Mr. Renetti was actually
regaling me backstage
with plans for a future issue
for your magazine.
- Stop it now.
We were just gabbing
pro to pro. You know it.
- Don't play humble now,
Mr. Renetti.
You were very, very proud.
You were beaming, even,
about your next cover.
- Oh, no.
We have not settled
on the cover
for our next issue, no.
- That's correct.
No, we haven't.
We are in the early stages,
just talking to people.
- Well, we love process here.
Love to see how
the sausage gets made.
I'm sorry. I couldn't help it.
I'm just a--
- That was good. That was good.
- Comic at heart, people.
But we also happen to
have quite a few readers
in the audience--
people who might be
interested in what you have
on tap.
Unless you don't like
free advertising, Mr. Renetti.
- Oh, you know I love
free advertising.
And thank you
to all the readers.
- There's nothing to--
to share right now.
- Perhaps we could let
the cat out of the bag
a little bit.
- There's no cat.
- Considering--
there might be a cat.
There might be a big cat.
- I can get you a drumroll.
Do you wanna a drumroll?
- No.
- Yeah.
- No. We don't need a drumroll.
- Bobby, hit it!
- Doug, you don't need
a drumroll.
- I don't need a drumroll.
- He doesn't need a drumroll
'cause there's nothing
to reveal.
- Ladies and gentlemen!
In the next "Minx"
and on the cover,
posing in all
his God-given glory
will be America's favorite
quarterback,
Billy Brunson, "The GOAT"!
We got Billy Brunson!
We got him.
- Wow. This is exciting.
And you heard it here first.
- There's--there's other--
- Like I always say,
the best truths are naked ones.
- Oh, wow.
They grow up so fast.
- It's no big deal.
- Mr. McKnight, youngest writer
ever to land a cover.
- Someone has indubitably
made it.
Let me see that. Let me see.
- Pass it around.
Pass it around.
- Sweetie,
it's not all bad news.
You were obviously
on the right track.
They used your idea.
Sort of.
- A thoughtful,
original article
about misogyny in the movement
has been transmogrified
into this
pat profile of cavalier elites
written by some cavalier elite
who wasn't even there,
who didn't have to get
the eggs!
- The hen house
does sound terrifying.
This magazine is not interested
in those details.
But you survive here,
it just might get you
to someplace that is.
- He didn't even give me
any feedback.
You know, he just--
he just took it
and he just made it
into something else.
God, I'm such an idiot.
I'm gonna talk to him.
- Oh, Joyce.
- A little something
for the road ahead.
- Oh.
You shouldn't have.
- I sent Francine.
- Hey, before you say anything,
I was backed into a corner.
- Yeah, right.
The whole thing was staged.
Great television, Doug.
When did they tell you about
Victoria Hartnett, back in LA?
- What are you talking about?
I didn't know anything
about it.
- Okay.
And then the Billy bomb.
Completely spontaneous.
- Yes, it was.
You got the lights, you got
people staring, the band.
He's got an orchestra, Joyce.
What I'm gonna do,
say no to a drumroll?
No one's ever done that ever.
- Doug Renetti,
a leaf on a stream
being merrily carried along.
"Ooh, wherever
will it take me next?"
- I screwed up, okay?
But I swear I didn't know
anything about the other guest.
- Oh, please. And Billy?
- Fine.
I took a flyer with
an old PR contact
and I got a meeting with Billy,
okay?
But I did not think
that Billy was gonna show.
And I definitely didn't think
he was gonna say yes.
And that's the truth.
It was wrong of me to do any
of this without consulting you.
- It was wrong of you
to do any of this, period!
You know, men like you,
you're an eclipse.
You don't mean to do it
but you can't help
but just block out the sun!
- Oh, so you're the sun now?
You're the giver of life?
Joyce, let me explain
something to you.
We are on an incredible
hot streak.
Out third issue is gonna have
the 11th highest circulation
of any magazine.
- Yes, thanks to whom?
- Let me finish!
- Thanks to my work.
Thanks to my work.
- Three issues!
We are changing the game,
Joyce.
And I'm not gonna apologize
to you or to anybody
for playing it like
a goddamn all-star.
And if you don't like my sports
analogy, tough shit.
It's my ball.
My rules. You get it?
- Yeah.
This is everything you'll need
for issue three of "Minx,"
save for the centerfold,
which you have
already taken care of.
I believe that fulfills
the terms of our agreement.
- Stop it.
You're not leaving like this.
You care too much.
- I thought I had done enough
to earn your respect,
but I will not allow
people to treat me this way.
Not anymore.
- Listen, J--
- ♪ Sweet silver angels
over the sea ♪
♪ Please come down
flying low for me ♪
- I got it. I'll do the rest.
- Okay.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
- ♪ I heard his sweet song ♪
- Love you.
- You too.
- ♪ And it was gently
enticing me ♪
♪ Though there was
something wrong ♪
♪ But when I turned ♪
- It'll be fine, right?
- Sure.
- ♪ Blinding me, his song
remains, reminding me ♪
♪ He's a bandit
and a heart breaker ♪
♪ Oh, but Jesus
was a cross maker ♪
♪ Sweet silver angels
over the sea ♪
♪ Please come down
flying low for me ♪
♪ He wages war with the devil,
a pistol by his side ♪
♪ And though he chases him
out windows ♪
♪ And won't give him a place
to hide ♪
♪ He keeps his door
open wide ♪
♪ Blinding him, he lights
a lamp, inviting him ♪
♪ He's a bandit
and a heartbreaker ♪
♪ Oh, but Jesus
was a cross maker ♪
♪ Sweet silver angels
over the sea ♪
♪ Please come down
flying low for me ♪
♪ I heard the thunder
come rumbling ♪
♪ The light
never looked so dim ♪
♪ I see the junction
get nearer ♪
♪ And danger is in the wind ♪
♪ And either road's
looking grim ♪
♪ Hiding me,
earthly desire dividing me ♪
♪ He's a bandit
and a heart breaker ♪
♪ Oh, but Jesus
was a cross maker ♪
♪ Yes, Jesus
was a cross maker ♪
♪ Sweet silver angels
over the sea ♪
♪ Please come down
flying low ♪
♪ For me ♪
♪ One time,
I trusted a stranger ♪
♪ 'Cause I heard
his sweet song ♪
♪ And it was gently
enticing me ♪
♪ Though there was
something wrong ♪
♪ But when I turned,
he was gone ♪