Minx (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - Mary had a little hysterectomy - full transcript
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- Ugh.
♪ ♪
Hello. Um, I was wondering
if you could help me
find a magazine
that was due in this morning.
It's called "Minx."
- Is that Russian?
- No, that would be Minsk.
No, "Minx" is a clever play
on the word "floozy."
It's ironic 'cause
the magazine is feminist.
- Like "Cosmo"?
That's on the rack.
- Uh, nope.
Um...
Uh, it has
a more e-erotic bent.
- Did you check here?
- I did.
It's not--it's not there.
- Oh, the one
with the dick in it.
Hey, Darius! Did you stock that
new mag with the dick in it?
- Check under the counter,
doofus!
- Nope. No.
Not that one.
Oh, yeah, here it is.
Talk about an unsafe job site.
- That's great.
♪ ♪
Oh, my God.
Thank you so much.
- Have fun.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- So sales so far
have not been--
they--they've just not been
ideal, but I've seen worse.
- You have?
- I have.
And better.
Definitely better.
- Look, this is not
surprising, okay?
No woman wants
to buy a magazine
if she's made
to feel like a pervert.
We have to think of a way
of getting it out
from under the counter.
- That's right. We--we need
to create awareness.
We got to get people talking
about it, asking about it.
- That's right.
- Is anyone reading it?
- Of course they are. Yes.
- Okay.
- We're big in, uhm
Greenwich Village...
uh, Provincetown...
the Castro.
We're big in the Castro.
- Intriguing.
- So let's build
off that momentum.
Let's make issue two
a knockout.
- What about
a celebrity interview?
- Ooh, yeah.
- Good. Yeah.
- Ooh, Bella Abzug--I bet
she has some stories to tell.
- Sexy stories?
- Maybe.
- I'm one degree from Jackie O.
- Bobby or Teddy?
- Yes.
- I-I think we need somebody
with a little bit
more sizzle, right?
A bigger name.
How about--I'm just gonna
throw this out there,
but what about Billy Brunson?
- Who? Who's that?
- Okay.
- Billy Brunson, the Goat.
Billy Brunson.
- The football player who
punched out Warren Beatty.
- No. No! G-God, no,
absolutely not.
No. They have to align with
the mission of the magazine,
no matter how famous.
- Oh, he's pretty famous.
I think we should use Bill--
- Doug, delivery.
- Okay, well, you can sign
for it.
- Uh, no, I can't.
- Hey, what's going on?
They sent back 25,000?
- Something
about indecent material.
- Tempe desert rats--
not even a heads-up.
- I don't know
what to tell you, man.
- They called a few times.
Gary Breckner,
VP of Operations.
You never returned.
- I thought we owed them money.
- We do owe them money.
- Well, you see? I was right.
- Somebody needs to sign
for these.
- I'll tell you what, Ron--
whatever Thrifty's paying you,
I'm gonna double it.
Will you just stick around
until I figure this out?
Oh, great.
Very good.
- Doug...
we cannot eat these magazines.
- You think
I don't know that, Tina?
- We don't have the cash
to cover the cost.
It's not just Thrifty.
- What are you talking about?
- Piggly Wiggly called.
Fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Okay.
Fuck!
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
Okay!
This is the fun part.
We got a good product.
Now we just got to tell people
about it.
That's all we got to do
right now.
- All right, well, I have some
pretty big media contacts,
and I bet one of them
can help land a big fish
for the front cover--
you know,
a feminist with frisson.
- See, that's what
I'm talking about, Joyce!
See? Good! Hustle!
- Okay.
- How do you think
we built this place?
We built this place
with hustle!
Tina, come here, please.
Me and Tina driving around,
handing out "Lusty Lesbos"
to anybody
who would take it,
and the next thing you know,
people were begging for it.
And they're gonna do that
with "Minx."
- Well, I know a thing or two
about our intended audience,
and I will tell you this.
They're motivated by fear,
fear of someone
having something they don't.
- You live someplace
hoity-toity, right?
You're rich.
- Yeah, we're comfortable.
- I'm happy for you. Good.
Here's what I want you to do.
I want you to take Bambi.
I want you to fill your car up
with magazines.
I want you to give them away,
all of them, for free.
- Okay.
- Good. Yes. Trust me.
- I have an idea
where I can go.
- Good.
That's what I'm talking about!
Great! Good initiative!
Good stuff!
This is what we're gonna do!
We're gonna win...
- Okay.
- As this team.
Good!
The A-team!
- What are you gonna do?
- I'm gonna catch the next
flight to, uh, Tempe, Arizona,
and I'm gonna get our magazines
back on the Thrifty shelves.
- Oh, Glenn.
- Joyce.
- Hello.
- Hey.
What--what are you doing here?
- I was in the neighborhood,
and we never got
that lunch, so...
- No. I know. I-I left you
a few messages. I just--
- I know.
I'm sorry, it's been crazy.
But, um, anyway,
I got some financiers
from that bakery we like
on Burton.
- Oh.
- Figured I'd say hi.
- That's so sweet.
Thank you.
Um, you want
to crack them open?
- Yes, I do.
- So, what, do you have
a meeting nearby or...?
- I do.
Yeah.
I've got to get a big
splashy name for issue two.
So--oh, Jane Fonda's,
uh, publicist
says that
she might be interested, so...
- Wow.
That'd be a big get.
- Yeah, it would.
You know what?
I'm getting
the runaround, though.
I don't quite have
the contacts yet.
- Yeah. Well, those can take
years to cultivate.
Who else you thinking?
- Oh, God.
No, I don't want to bore you
with my tedious work dilemmas.
- Stop, please.
It's my pleasure.
- Some first ideas.
- Okay.
Susan Sontag, she'll say no.
Victoria Hartnett.
- I love her.
- I know you do.
But she only does fancy stuff--
"The New Yorker."
Hmm.
I have an idea.
Wendy Mah.
- "Aphrodisia" Wendy Mah?
- Yeah.
I was supposed to interview her
for Crush of the Month,
but we just couldn't make it
work by deadline.
- I don't know. Her book,
it's middle-brow pablum
posing as a treatise
on sexual empowerment.
- You read it?
- No, of course not.
"The Times"
eviscerated it, though.
Did you?
- I did.
Well, I had to for work.
But I don't know.
I found it entertaining...
And provocative.
Just because something is
popular doesn't mean it's bad.
- I mean, she did knock
"Jonathan Livingston Seagull"
off the best-seller list.
- You know, she's teaching
right over at Woodbridge.
Bet I could get you a meeting.
- Then I guess
I came to the right place.
- Okay, but don't say the thing
about Gestapo tactics.
It sets the wrong tone.
- But that's what this is.
I mean, who is Gary Breckner
to decide what is decent
for Thrifty customers?
- Vice President of Operations
who has the right to do that.
- He sells "Playboy."
- Okay.
- Are you saying that soft dick
is more offensive
than a hairy bush?
- A hairy bush
is not the female sex organ.
- It's all vagina.
- Okay, listen.
You are lucky
we even got a meeting, okay?
- The longer those magazines
stay on that truck,
the more fucked we are,
so just please pull it together
and make this right.
- Okay.
I agree.
- Okay.
I got this, okay?
I will be home by happy hour.
- Okay.
I'll be back to get you.
- Great.
- Have a safe flight.
- Thank you.
Excuse me.
And I think once Mr. Breckner
hears what I have to say--
Well, would--would you please
tell him that he--
he has to make time
for me today
'cause I'm
at the airport right now.
I'm about to board.
I'll be there
in an hour and a half.
I think what I'm asking for
is just a little face time.
Well, then who's above the
Vice President of Operations?
I don't know who his boss is.
I don't work for the company.
Hi, Mrs. Breckner?
Oh, good.
Hey, Carol, how are you?
Say, I was wondering,
what's your home address?
- Look, I really appreciate
you meeting us
on such short notice.
- Well, I felt bad we couldn't
make the "Lad" piece work.
Awoogah.
Hey, big fella.
- Yeah.
- Child brides, ugh.
It's one thing to screw at 14,
but can you imagine
being married?
Nightmare.
- It is a nightmare.
In Bangladesh, there's--
- Uh, you know,
Joyce really responded
to "Aphorodisia," Wendy.
- Yeah. God, oh, yes.
Yeah. You know what?
You have a flare
for literary erotica
without ever devolving
into the profane.
- Tell that to the eunuchs
at "The Paris Review."
- Or you could. You could write
a whole feature.
- That sounds fun,
but between press
and my course load--
- Uh, we'd figure out a way
to make it work
with your schedule.
I can come back after class.
- Sure. Maybe...
No, feminist
collective meeting.
I'm faculty advisor--
sorry, faculty sister.
- You know, Joyce ran the
feminist collective at Vassar.
- Persephone Rising had
no formal leadership structure,
but I did facilitate
most of the meetings.
- Really?
Come by.
We're always on the hunt
for guest speakers.
- Oh, gosh. I'm not
sure I'm accomplished enough
to, you know, warrant
that honor.
- You're a successful woman
in publishing.
They'll eat you right up.
- So--so then afterwards,
we could talk
about you and "Minx"?
- I'll see you there.
- Okay.
Yes!
- Good job.
- You did a good job.
- Thank you.
- That was awes--
Okay, hey, have you got
any plans for this afternoon?
- No. Nothing that I have
to rush back for.
What'd you have in mind?
- Okay, great. Just a little
grassroots marketing.
- Lead the way.
♪ ♪
- Hey!
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, yeah.
We were just so distracted.
- What's that?
Oh, my gosh.
It's a kick.
- You've never heard
of "Minx" before?
- Everyone's talking about it.
- They are?
- Yeah. Too bad it's sold out
everywhere.
- Oh.
- You know what?
Here, why don't you take
my copy?
- Becky!
- It's okay, Jane.
We've already had our fun.
- Thanks.
- Enjoy!
♪ ♪
- Okay, um...
Volkswagen Beetle.
They're always secret freaks.
- That's what I drive.
♪ ♪
- Thank you.
♪ ♪
- Hey.
- Hi.
- How's it going?
- I'm good.
Here you go.
- Um, actually,
how about you give me
one those magazines instead?
- All right.
Enjoy, Bruno.
- Thank you.
♪ ♪
- Don't tell me
I missed the party.
- Oh, sorry, fresh out.
- What kind of salesman
doesn't bring enough product?
- Not a salesman.
I'm, uh, the photographer.
- You got a camera on you?
♪ ♪
- All right, Brit, Cam, Brock,
you're hittin' sorority row.
And, Chet, Buck, Dingus,
education.
And if you strike out there,
try cheerleading practice.
- Alternatively,
poli-sci is flush
with female majors this year.
- Wonderful.
May as well run
by history and econ as well.
Move, maggots! Let's go!
Hidey-ho!
Don't make be
bring out the spoon!
The what?
- Once a Beta always a Beta.
- Well, the efficiency
of the manpower
you have summoned
is undeniable,
but are fraternity brothers
the right--
- Pledges.
They haven't earned it yet.
- Oh, I'm sorry. Are pledges
the right emissaries
to be spreading
the "Minx" message?
- Listen,
don't overthink it, okay?
We are actively getting your
magazine out there right now.
Look at it.
I mean, you don't want to end
up like that guy, do you?
- Tenor? Tenor? Tenor?
- No, really.
I cannot thank you enough.
You know, we have a real chance
of booking Wendy.
And I get to talk to the women
that I actually
made "Minx" for.
I might even come out of this
with some mentees.
- There you go.
Dingus, what are you doing?
- Come on, Dingus. Move it!
- Yeah.
- I did not expect her
to talk about her
dead husband that way.
- We're really
doing a mitzvah here.
I'm 1/18 Ashkenazi.
- How many boxes
do we have left?
- Um, just two, I think.
- Okay.
Oh, the Jurgensen's
by my kid's school!
Those PTA moms will love it.
♪ ♪
- Yeah.
Beautiful.
♪ ♪
- All your friends models or
just Dan and Benjy over here?
- Models, actors, escorts...
whatever pays the bills.
- Hmm.
We all do very different
things to pay the bills.
- Well, today's your lucky day
because you're
the one about to get paid.
- ♪ But I ran into a detour
in my life ♪
♪ ♪
- Oh, wow.
Oh, this place.
- Mm-hmm.
- God, my collective met
in the basement
of a science building
reeking of formaldehyde.
- Then this piece
might speak to you.
- Oh, okay.
- That's a sheep's uterus.
- Oh.
"Mary Had a
Little Hysterectomy."
You know, it's just--
it's amazing
what women can create when they
have the resources, you know?
I mean, look at this.
This--even the quotidian
is so beautiful.
Such depth of color here.
- Those are
menstrual drippings.
Sisters, good afternoon.
As you know, we have
a very special guest today.
I see some of you have formed
a relationship
with her material already.
How about a warm
Sisters of Solidarity welcome
for Joyce Prigger?
Do I--um, do I--
uh, do I stand here or--
- There are
no hierarchies here.
- All right.
Should I just absorb in?
- Just tuck right in there.
- I'm just--yeah. All right.
So all right.
Okay.
Okay.
The one time
I decide to wear a skirt.
- Looks like
you're nice and comfy.
- Yes.
- So I've got
a few errands to run.
You're gonna get along great.
- Uh, you--you're not staying?
- Oh, I'm yesterday's news,
right, ladies?
Ciao!
- Hi.
- I have a contribution.
This penis is flaccid.
I resent the implication
that women are too meek
to confront an erect phallus.
Mm-hmm.
- Diving right in, I see.
All right.
Um, does anybody else
feel that way?
♪ ♪
- There's a taco casserole
in the freezer,
so just pop it in the oven.
Yeah.
I'll be home in a jiff.
350.
45 minutes.
Keep the foil on.
No, not to eat it.
Take it off for that.
Love you.
- I like to bring mine
to room temp
before I pop it in the oven.
- Well, obviously,
if he had the time.
- All right.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
- I mean, who knew it was
illegal to hand out pornography
within 1,000 feet of a school?
Now that I say it out loud,
it does make a lot of sense.
- Officer McNeal said
it was a new ordinance,
and we're the first women
to violate it.
- Oh, my God.
You're so nice and normal.
It's your community
and all those snooty moms
almost saw you get cuffed.
Jesus!
- It's--it's fine.
- Where are you gonna
get groceries?
I mean, that assistant manager
seemed very serious
about your lifetime ban.
- Yeah. So I'll--I'll shop
someplace else.
- Why are you being so cool
about this?
- Honestly,
I-I can't even remember
the last time
that I got in trouble.
And it felt kind of good.
♪ ♪
- I receive
your contribution, Sabrina,
but one of the goals of "Minx"
is to reveal
the oppressive nature
of all
traditional relationships.
- So now
my lesbian relationship
can't be traditional
or oppressive?
- Do you want it to be?
- Where are the stories
about working-class women?
- Or women who aren't white?
- Or forced sterilization
of indigenous communities?
- Good ideas, all,
but we can only have
so many articles per issue
based on the ads
that we can sell.
- So the monsters
of Madison Avenue
dictate your content?
- Oh, God.
I wish it was Madison Avenue.
It's more like, uh,
Ventura Boulevard.
- Clearly, profits are
more important to you
than liberation.
- I understand
that this magazine
can't please everyone,
but we are bringing attention
to important issues,
issues that you have raised
many times--
clitoridectomy in Upper Volta,
marital rape.
- That had promise,
but you stopped way short.
All marriage is rape.
- Come on.
That gets a weird silent clap?
Yes, marriage is problematic.
It is.
But don't you think
that we should refrain
from just calling
everybody's dad a rapist?
- I only have one mother,
and her name is Gaia.
- Oh, g-good for you, Linda.
That's super.
Good for all of you.
It's--it's wonderful
that you get to sit here
in your little circle
with your menstrual blood
smeared all over the walls
of your free housing,
arguing semantics that have
nothing to do with life
outside of this building.
- Sellout.
- Child!
- Attention, passengers--
the inbound flight number 37
from Phoenix is delayed
due to mechanical issues.
- ♪ Today, tomorrow
wake her up ♪
♪ Just look around you,
you see the reason why ♪
♪ The falsification
of everything in sight ♪
♪ Made you run around
until I... ♪
- Maker's neat.
- ♪ Today, tomorrow
wake her heart ♪
♪ I don't care
if I live or die ♪
♪ The jet set, the gurus,
the beats ♪
♪ Look at the way they
stroll about the streets ♪
♪ ♪
- So you've just been
sitting here all day?
- Yep.
- Going to the airport
without a meeting is so you.
- I thought
he'd fold eventually.
- So no cactus keychains?
- You see all the implications.
- Mm-hmm.
- I don't know.
When I was a kid, there was
this boy named Jimmy McGurgin.
And he opened up
a lemonade stand.
It's good business.
And the punk
wouldn't let me in on it.
So you know what I did?
I opened up my own
but with a twist.
I added bourbon to it--
hit of the neighborhood.
Moms, dads, older kids,
everybody loved it.
I was their king.
I put Jimmy out of business.
One of the happiest days
of my life.
- That's super sad.
- There's always an angle.
I don't know what is going on.
So, look, if you want
to tell me I told you so,
now would be the time.
The magazine's an albatross.
Y-you were right.
- I'm not gonna do that.
You're pathetic.
And I don't kick a man
when he's down.
Anyway, we've been here before.
Now you get resourceful,
creative.
- Yeah.
- You'll figure out how to add
some bourbon to the lemonade.
- Can we get out of here?
There's a bird that's been
trapped in the ceiling
for the last two hours,
and it's really bumming me out.
- We got to make a pit stop.
Joyce is moving magazines
at Woodbridge.
I got a bunch of boxes
in the trunk.
- Broke college kids?
Perfect.
- Yep.
Shit.
- Fantastic. You're here.
- Hi.
- Ready to go?
- Yeah. Why? What's going on?
- Um, the pledges
did a great job,
but in their zeal to impress,
they made a pit stop
at Bible study
and may have left
some magazines behind.
That led to a protest,
which brought up
the Gay Liberation Front,
who, by the way,
love your magazine.
- Oh!
- Um, and that's Dean Oliver.
He's trying to explain
the university's stance
on free speech....
- Oh, all right.
- Which obviously
got the attention of
the Civil Liberty Association.
Tell me it went better inside.
Is Wendy in?
- God, Wendy.
- What?
- Wendy.
Hey! Wendy! Wendy!
- How'd it go?
They're something, aren't they?
- Those girls were terrifying,
but you knew that, didn't you?
- Welcome to being a feminist
in the public's eye.
Tricky, huh?
- Yeah, apparently so.
But okay, fine.
That can be the angle for
the piece you do for "Minx."
- Oh, I'd love to,
but I forgot
I have a noncompete clause
in my deal with "Harper's."
- And you're
just remembering that now?
That's very convenient.
- Not cool, Wendy.
- Well, you're welcome
to call my lawyer,
see if we can get a carve-out.
He's currently in Positano
convalescing,
so it might take
a little while.
Good luck, sister.
I'm rooting for you.
I never read your book,
by the way!
- Oh, my God!
- Jesus Christ.
- I really thought
that they would like me.
- College.
♪ ♪
- Oh, my gosh, we're gonna
be early for that party.
Well, in there,
they're so fast.
Remind me to always
get arrested in Pasadena.
- Tell me where
you're going again?
- Oh, you're coming with.
Yeah.
Elliot Gould's stunt double is
blowin' it out in the Canyon.
Hell's Angels
are running security,
but I used to bang their road
captain, so we'll get in.
LJ.
- Did you give those pigs
the what-for?
- You know we did.
- Oh, Shelly,
this is Long John.
- Oh, hello. Okay.
- Yeah.
- Someone likes patchouli.
Okay.
- Yeah.
Let's go.
- Fire that shit up.
I know his eyes
are totally saucered,
but he's an above-average
stoned driver.
Also, Mulholland is only, like,
19 miles away,
so we'll get there.
- I should, uh, probably
get home.
- What? No! Bread's ex-drummer
is gonna play,
and I heard he got kicked out
'cause he rocked too hard.
- Oh, I do--I do love Bread.
It's just we just moved Milly
out of her crib this week,
and I promised her
I'd do a monster check
under her bed tonight,
which is silly,
'cause everyone knows
monsters live in the closet.
- We'll give you a ride
to your car.
- Oh, I--
uh, I could use the walk.
I think so.
- Hey, um...
- Yeah.
- Use a can of Aqua Net.
Tell her it's monster spray.
That's what my mom
used to do for me.
- Okay.
♪ ♪
- This magazine should have
no place in the future we want!
"Minx" will destroy
our movement before we have a--
- Excuse me. Excuse me.
- Watch it!
- Here you go.
- So step right up
and deposit this piece
of feminist impostor-ism
into the trash heap!
Dong is wrong!
Dong is wrong!
Dong is wrong!
Dong is wrong!
- I'm done with this!
Dong is wrong!
Dong is wrong!
Dong is wrong!
- Throw that "Minx" crap
in the trash!
Let me hear you say it!
Down with "Minx"!
Down with "Minx"!
- I don't even know why
we're doing this!
- Because they're
your magazines.
Maybe just skip the ones
with spit on them.
- Oh, God!
Hey, stop right--
Hey! Hey!
Down with "Minx"!
- Fuck Reagan!
- Hard to argue
with that, buddy.
- Prick.
Down with "Minx"!
- Fuck "Minx"!
Down with "Minx"!
- Can you believe this shit?
- Yeah, I can.
- Let it out.
- Fine.
I did tell you so.
I told you from the start
this was a bad bet.
You lost, Doug.
"Minx" is a dog.
- Yeah, we don't have
a lot fans right now, do we?
- I've done everything
you've asked.
I've been silent
when I wanted to scream.
I've defended you
when I knew you were guilty.
All in service of what?
An off-brand,
very expensive experiment?
This weird legitimacy thing
that if we don't cut
our losses
will burn our whole company
to the ground.
Down with "Minx"!
- And fuck you for making me
have to say all this stuff.
I'm the drunkest
person at the Christmas party.
I'm Good Time Tina!
- Hey, girl.
- Not you.
Eh, keep riding, junior.
Down with "Minx"!
- Ugh.
- All right,
who throws a hardback Bible?
- Is it still bleeding?
- Yes, yes.
I'm so s--
I-I-I feel responsible.
Am I--am I--
am I responsible?
- Are you talking legally
or morally?
- I don't know.
Both, I guess.
- Maybe we could ask
Wendy's lawyer.
- Just tell me that this
is all gonna blow over.
- It'll be fine, okay?
I know it seems like
the end of the world,
a bunch of college kids
yelling at each other,
but it happens every day.
- Yeah, bonfire!
♪ ♪
- ♪ All night long,
I loved her ♪
♪ Morning came too soon ♪
♪ I knew she'd be gone
by the afternoon ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I said,
"Please don't go"♪
♪ Still she said goodbye ♪
♪ But as she turned around,
she got a look in her eye ♪
♪ As she turned around,
she got a look in her eye ♪
♪ ♪
♪ And I thought it said ♪
♪ ♪
♪ When you look round
to see me ♪
♪ Turn around in your bed ♪
♪ The warmth of my body
will heat you ♪
♪ Make your blood
run cherry red ♪
♪ Cherry red ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- Ugh.
♪ ♪
Hello. Um, I was wondering
if you could help me
find a magazine
that was due in this morning.
It's called "Minx."
- Is that Russian?
- No, that would be Minsk.
No, "Minx" is a clever play
on the word "floozy."
It's ironic 'cause
the magazine is feminist.
- Like "Cosmo"?
That's on the rack.
- Uh, nope.
Um...
Uh, it has
a more e-erotic bent.
- Did you check here?
- I did.
It's not--it's not there.
- Oh, the one
with the dick in it.
Hey, Darius! Did you stock that
new mag with the dick in it?
- Check under the counter,
doofus!
- Nope. No.
Not that one.
Oh, yeah, here it is.
Talk about an unsafe job site.
- That's great.
♪ ♪
Oh, my God.
Thank you so much.
- Have fun.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- So sales so far
have not been--
they--they've just not been
ideal, but I've seen worse.
- You have?
- I have.
And better.
Definitely better.
- Look, this is not
surprising, okay?
No woman wants
to buy a magazine
if she's made
to feel like a pervert.
We have to think of a way
of getting it out
from under the counter.
- That's right. We--we need
to create awareness.
We got to get people talking
about it, asking about it.
- That's right.
- Is anyone reading it?
- Of course they are. Yes.
- Okay.
- We're big in, uhm
Greenwich Village...
uh, Provincetown...
the Castro.
We're big in the Castro.
- Intriguing.
- So let's build
off that momentum.
Let's make issue two
a knockout.
- What about
a celebrity interview?
- Ooh, yeah.
- Good. Yeah.
- Ooh, Bella Abzug--I bet
she has some stories to tell.
- Sexy stories?
- Maybe.
- I'm one degree from Jackie O.
- Bobby or Teddy?
- Yes.
- I-I think we need somebody
with a little bit
more sizzle, right?
A bigger name.
How about--I'm just gonna
throw this out there,
but what about Billy Brunson?
- Who? Who's that?
- Okay.
- Billy Brunson, the Goat.
Billy Brunson.
- The football player who
punched out Warren Beatty.
- No. No! G-God, no,
absolutely not.
No. They have to align with
the mission of the magazine,
no matter how famous.
- Oh, he's pretty famous.
I think we should use Bill--
- Doug, delivery.
- Okay, well, you can sign
for it.
- Uh, no, I can't.
- Hey, what's going on?
They sent back 25,000?
- Something
about indecent material.
- Tempe desert rats--
not even a heads-up.
- I don't know
what to tell you, man.
- They called a few times.
Gary Breckner,
VP of Operations.
You never returned.
- I thought we owed them money.
- We do owe them money.
- Well, you see? I was right.
- Somebody needs to sign
for these.
- I'll tell you what, Ron--
whatever Thrifty's paying you,
I'm gonna double it.
Will you just stick around
until I figure this out?
Oh, great.
Very good.
- Doug...
we cannot eat these magazines.
- You think
I don't know that, Tina?
- We don't have the cash
to cover the cost.
It's not just Thrifty.
- What are you talking about?
- Piggly Wiggly called.
Fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Okay.
Fuck!
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
Okay!
This is the fun part.
We got a good product.
Now we just got to tell people
about it.
That's all we got to do
right now.
- All right, well, I have some
pretty big media contacts,
and I bet one of them
can help land a big fish
for the front cover--
you know,
a feminist with frisson.
- See, that's what
I'm talking about, Joyce!
See? Good! Hustle!
- Okay.
- How do you think
we built this place?
We built this place
with hustle!
Tina, come here, please.
Me and Tina driving around,
handing out "Lusty Lesbos"
to anybody
who would take it,
and the next thing you know,
people were begging for it.
And they're gonna do that
with "Minx."
- Well, I know a thing or two
about our intended audience,
and I will tell you this.
They're motivated by fear,
fear of someone
having something they don't.
- You live someplace
hoity-toity, right?
You're rich.
- Yeah, we're comfortable.
- I'm happy for you. Good.
Here's what I want you to do.
I want you to take Bambi.
I want you to fill your car up
with magazines.
I want you to give them away,
all of them, for free.
- Okay.
- Good. Yes. Trust me.
- I have an idea
where I can go.
- Good.
That's what I'm talking about!
Great! Good initiative!
Good stuff!
This is what we're gonna do!
We're gonna win...
- Okay.
- As this team.
Good!
The A-team!
- What are you gonna do?
- I'm gonna catch the next
flight to, uh, Tempe, Arizona,
and I'm gonna get our magazines
back on the Thrifty shelves.
- Oh, Glenn.
- Joyce.
- Hello.
- Hey.
What--what are you doing here?
- I was in the neighborhood,
and we never got
that lunch, so...
- No. I know. I-I left you
a few messages. I just--
- I know.
I'm sorry, it's been crazy.
But, um, anyway,
I got some financiers
from that bakery we like
on Burton.
- Oh.
- Figured I'd say hi.
- That's so sweet.
Thank you.
Um, you want
to crack them open?
- Yes, I do.
- So, what, do you have
a meeting nearby or...?
- I do.
Yeah.
I've got to get a big
splashy name for issue two.
So--oh, Jane Fonda's,
uh, publicist
says that
she might be interested, so...
- Wow.
That'd be a big get.
- Yeah, it would.
You know what?
I'm getting
the runaround, though.
I don't quite have
the contacts yet.
- Yeah. Well, those can take
years to cultivate.
Who else you thinking?
- Oh, God.
No, I don't want to bore you
with my tedious work dilemmas.
- Stop, please.
It's my pleasure.
- Some first ideas.
- Okay.
Susan Sontag, she'll say no.
Victoria Hartnett.
- I love her.
- I know you do.
But she only does fancy stuff--
"The New Yorker."
Hmm.
I have an idea.
Wendy Mah.
- "Aphrodisia" Wendy Mah?
- Yeah.
I was supposed to interview her
for Crush of the Month,
but we just couldn't make it
work by deadline.
- I don't know. Her book,
it's middle-brow pablum
posing as a treatise
on sexual empowerment.
- You read it?
- No, of course not.
"The Times"
eviscerated it, though.
Did you?
- I did.
Well, I had to for work.
But I don't know.
I found it entertaining...
And provocative.
Just because something is
popular doesn't mean it's bad.
- I mean, she did knock
"Jonathan Livingston Seagull"
off the best-seller list.
- You know, she's teaching
right over at Woodbridge.
Bet I could get you a meeting.
- Then I guess
I came to the right place.
- Okay, but don't say the thing
about Gestapo tactics.
It sets the wrong tone.
- But that's what this is.
I mean, who is Gary Breckner
to decide what is decent
for Thrifty customers?
- Vice President of Operations
who has the right to do that.
- He sells "Playboy."
- Okay.
- Are you saying that soft dick
is more offensive
than a hairy bush?
- A hairy bush
is not the female sex organ.
- It's all vagina.
- Okay, listen.
You are lucky
we even got a meeting, okay?
- The longer those magazines
stay on that truck,
the more fucked we are,
so just please pull it together
and make this right.
- Okay.
I agree.
- Okay.
I got this, okay?
I will be home by happy hour.
- Okay.
I'll be back to get you.
- Great.
- Have a safe flight.
- Thank you.
Excuse me.
And I think once Mr. Breckner
hears what I have to say--
Well, would--would you please
tell him that he--
he has to make time
for me today
'cause I'm
at the airport right now.
I'm about to board.
I'll be there
in an hour and a half.
I think what I'm asking for
is just a little face time.
Well, then who's above the
Vice President of Operations?
I don't know who his boss is.
I don't work for the company.
Hi, Mrs. Breckner?
Oh, good.
Hey, Carol, how are you?
Say, I was wondering,
what's your home address?
- Look, I really appreciate
you meeting us
on such short notice.
- Well, I felt bad we couldn't
make the "Lad" piece work.
Awoogah.
Hey, big fella.
- Yeah.
- Child brides, ugh.
It's one thing to screw at 14,
but can you imagine
being married?
Nightmare.
- It is a nightmare.
In Bangladesh, there's--
- Uh, you know,
Joyce really responded
to "Aphorodisia," Wendy.
- Yeah. God, oh, yes.
Yeah. You know what?
You have a flare
for literary erotica
without ever devolving
into the profane.
- Tell that to the eunuchs
at "The Paris Review."
- Or you could. You could write
a whole feature.
- That sounds fun,
but between press
and my course load--
- Uh, we'd figure out a way
to make it work
with your schedule.
I can come back after class.
- Sure. Maybe...
No, feminist
collective meeting.
I'm faculty advisor--
sorry, faculty sister.
- You know, Joyce ran the
feminist collective at Vassar.
- Persephone Rising had
no formal leadership structure,
but I did facilitate
most of the meetings.
- Really?
Come by.
We're always on the hunt
for guest speakers.
- Oh, gosh. I'm not
sure I'm accomplished enough
to, you know, warrant
that honor.
- You're a successful woman
in publishing.
They'll eat you right up.
- So--so then afterwards,
we could talk
about you and "Minx"?
- I'll see you there.
- Okay.
Yes!
- Good job.
- You did a good job.
- Thank you.
- That was awes--
Okay, hey, have you got
any plans for this afternoon?
- No. Nothing that I have
to rush back for.
What'd you have in mind?
- Okay, great. Just a little
grassroots marketing.
- Lead the way.
♪ ♪
- Hey!
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, yeah.
We were just so distracted.
- What's that?
Oh, my gosh.
It's a kick.
- You've never heard
of "Minx" before?
- Everyone's talking about it.
- They are?
- Yeah. Too bad it's sold out
everywhere.
- Oh.
- You know what?
Here, why don't you take
my copy?
- Becky!
- It's okay, Jane.
We've already had our fun.
- Thanks.
- Enjoy!
♪ ♪
- Okay, um...
Volkswagen Beetle.
They're always secret freaks.
- That's what I drive.
♪ ♪
- Thank you.
♪ ♪
- Hey.
- Hi.
- How's it going?
- I'm good.
Here you go.
- Um, actually,
how about you give me
one those magazines instead?
- All right.
Enjoy, Bruno.
- Thank you.
♪ ♪
- Don't tell me
I missed the party.
- Oh, sorry, fresh out.
- What kind of salesman
doesn't bring enough product?
- Not a salesman.
I'm, uh, the photographer.
- You got a camera on you?
♪ ♪
- All right, Brit, Cam, Brock,
you're hittin' sorority row.
And, Chet, Buck, Dingus,
education.
And if you strike out there,
try cheerleading practice.
- Alternatively,
poli-sci is flush
with female majors this year.
- Wonderful.
May as well run
by history and econ as well.
Move, maggots! Let's go!
Hidey-ho!
Don't make be
bring out the spoon!
The what?
- Once a Beta always a Beta.
- Well, the efficiency
of the manpower
you have summoned
is undeniable,
but are fraternity brothers
the right--
- Pledges.
They haven't earned it yet.
- Oh, I'm sorry. Are pledges
the right emissaries
to be spreading
the "Minx" message?
- Listen,
don't overthink it, okay?
We are actively getting your
magazine out there right now.
Look at it.
I mean, you don't want to end
up like that guy, do you?
- Tenor? Tenor? Tenor?
- No, really.
I cannot thank you enough.
You know, we have a real chance
of booking Wendy.
And I get to talk to the women
that I actually
made "Minx" for.
I might even come out of this
with some mentees.
- There you go.
Dingus, what are you doing?
- Come on, Dingus. Move it!
- Yeah.
- I did not expect her
to talk about her
dead husband that way.
- We're really
doing a mitzvah here.
I'm 1/18 Ashkenazi.
- How many boxes
do we have left?
- Um, just two, I think.
- Okay.
Oh, the Jurgensen's
by my kid's school!
Those PTA moms will love it.
♪ ♪
- Yeah.
Beautiful.
♪ ♪
- All your friends models or
just Dan and Benjy over here?
- Models, actors, escorts...
whatever pays the bills.
- Hmm.
We all do very different
things to pay the bills.
- Well, today's your lucky day
because you're
the one about to get paid.
- ♪ But I ran into a detour
in my life ♪
♪ ♪
- Oh, wow.
Oh, this place.
- Mm-hmm.
- God, my collective met
in the basement
of a science building
reeking of formaldehyde.
- Then this piece
might speak to you.
- Oh, okay.
- That's a sheep's uterus.
- Oh.
"Mary Had a
Little Hysterectomy."
You know, it's just--
it's amazing
what women can create when they
have the resources, you know?
I mean, look at this.
This--even the quotidian
is so beautiful.
Such depth of color here.
- Those are
menstrual drippings.
Sisters, good afternoon.
As you know, we have
a very special guest today.
I see some of you have formed
a relationship
with her material already.
How about a warm
Sisters of Solidarity welcome
for Joyce Prigger?
Do I--um, do I--
uh, do I stand here or--
- There are
no hierarchies here.
- All right.
Should I just absorb in?
- Just tuck right in there.
- I'm just--yeah. All right.
So all right.
Okay.
Okay.
The one time
I decide to wear a skirt.
- Looks like
you're nice and comfy.
- Yes.
- So I've got
a few errands to run.
You're gonna get along great.
- Uh, you--you're not staying?
- Oh, I'm yesterday's news,
right, ladies?
Ciao!
- Hi.
- I have a contribution.
This penis is flaccid.
I resent the implication
that women are too meek
to confront an erect phallus.
Mm-hmm.
- Diving right in, I see.
All right.
Um, does anybody else
feel that way?
♪ ♪
- There's a taco casserole
in the freezer,
so just pop it in the oven.
Yeah.
I'll be home in a jiff.
350.
45 minutes.
Keep the foil on.
No, not to eat it.
Take it off for that.
Love you.
- I like to bring mine
to room temp
before I pop it in the oven.
- Well, obviously,
if he had the time.
- All right.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
- I mean, who knew it was
illegal to hand out pornography
within 1,000 feet of a school?
Now that I say it out loud,
it does make a lot of sense.
- Officer McNeal said
it was a new ordinance,
and we're the first women
to violate it.
- Oh, my God.
You're so nice and normal.
It's your community
and all those snooty moms
almost saw you get cuffed.
Jesus!
- It's--it's fine.
- Where are you gonna
get groceries?
I mean, that assistant manager
seemed very serious
about your lifetime ban.
- Yeah. So I'll--I'll shop
someplace else.
- Why are you being so cool
about this?
- Honestly,
I-I can't even remember
the last time
that I got in trouble.
And it felt kind of good.
♪ ♪
- I receive
your contribution, Sabrina,
but one of the goals of "Minx"
is to reveal
the oppressive nature
of all
traditional relationships.
- So now
my lesbian relationship
can't be traditional
or oppressive?
- Do you want it to be?
- Where are the stories
about working-class women?
- Or women who aren't white?
- Or forced sterilization
of indigenous communities?
- Good ideas, all,
but we can only have
so many articles per issue
based on the ads
that we can sell.
- So the monsters
of Madison Avenue
dictate your content?
- Oh, God.
I wish it was Madison Avenue.
It's more like, uh,
Ventura Boulevard.
- Clearly, profits are
more important to you
than liberation.
- I understand
that this magazine
can't please everyone,
but we are bringing attention
to important issues,
issues that you have raised
many times--
clitoridectomy in Upper Volta,
marital rape.
- That had promise,
but you stopped way short.
All marriage is rape.
- Come on.
That gets a weird silent clap?
Yes, marriage is problematic.
It is.
But don't you think
that we should refrain
from just calling
everybody's dad a rapist?
- I only have one mother,
and her name is Gaia.
- Oh, g-good for you, Linda.
That's super.
Good for all of you.
It's--it's wonderful
that you get to sit here
in your little circle
with your menstrual blood
smeared all over the walls
of your free housing,
arguing semantics that have
nothing to do with life
outside of this building.
- Sellout.
- Child!
- Attention, passengers--
the inbound flight number 37
from Phoenix is delayed
due to mechanical issues.
- ♪ Today, tomorrow
wake her up ♪
♪ Just look around you,
you see the reason why ♪
♪ The falsification
of everything in sight ♪
♪ Made you run around
until I... ♪
- Maker's neat.
- ♪ Today, tomorrow
wake her heart ♪
♪ I don't care
if I live or die ♪
♪ The jet set, the gurus,
the beats ♪
♪ Look at the way they
stroll about the streets ♪
♪ ♪
- So you've just been
sitting here all day?
- Yep.
- Going to the airport
without a meeting is so you.
- I thought
he'd fold eventually.
- So no cactus keychains?
- You see all the implications.
- Mm-hmm.
- I don't know.
When I was a kid, there was
this boy named Jimmy McGurgin.
And he opened up
a lemonade stand.
It's good business.
And the punk
wouldn't let me in on it.
So you know what I did?
I opened up my own
but with a twist.
I added bourbon to it--
hit of the neighborhood.
Moms, dads, older kids,
everybody loved it.
I was their king.
I put Jimmy out of business.
One of the happiest days
of my life.
- That's super sad.
- There's always an angle.
I don't know what is going on.
So, look, if you want
to tell me I told you so,
now would be the time.
The magazine's an albatross.
Y-you were right.
- I'm not gonna do that.
You're pathetic.
And I don't kick a man
when he's down.
Anyway, we've been here before.
Now you get resourceful,
creative.
- Yeah.
- You'll figure out how to add
some bourbon to the lemonade.
- Can we get out of here?
There's a bird that's been
trapped in the ceiling
for the last two hours,
and it's really bumming me out.
- We got to make a pit stop.
Joyce is moving magazines
at Woodbridge.
I got a bunch of boxes
in the trunk.
- Broke college kids?
Perfect.
- Yep.
Shit.
- Fantastic. You're here.
- Hi.
- Ready to go?
- Yeah. Why? What's going on?
- Um, the pledges
did a great job,
but in their zeal to impress,
they made a pit stop
at Bible study
and may have left
some magazines behind.
That led to a protest,
which brought up
the Gay Liberation Front,
who, by the way,
love your magazine.
- Oh!
- Um, and that's Dean Oliver.
He's trying to explain
the university's stance
on free speech....
- Oh, all right.
- Which obviously
got the attention of
the Civil Liberty Association.
Tell me it went better inside.
Is Wendy in?
- God, Wendy.
- What?
- Wendy.
Hey! Wendy! Wendy!
- How'd it go?
They're something, aren't they?
- Those girls were terrifying,
but you knew that, didn't you?
- Welcome to being a feminist
in the public's eye.
Tricky, huh?
- Yeah, apparently so.
But okay, fine.
That can be the angle for
the piece you do for "Minx."
- Oh, I'd love to,
but I forgot
I have a noncompete clause
in my deal with "Harper's."
- And you're
just remembering that now?
That's very convenient.
- Not cool, Wendy.
- Well, you're welcome
to call my lawyer,
see if we can get a carve-out.
He's currently in Positano
convalescing,
so it might take
a little while.
Good luck, sister.
I'm rooting for you.
I never read your book,
by the way!
- Oh, my God!
- Jesus Christ.
- I really thought
that they would like me.
- College.
♪ ♪
- Oh, my gosh, we're gonna
be early for that party.
Well, in there,
they're so fast.
Remind me to always
get arrested in Pasadena.
- Tell me where
you're going again?
- Oh, you're coming with.
Yeah.
Elliot Gould's stunt double is
blowin' it out in the Canyon.
Hell's Angels
are running security,
but I used to bang their road
captain, so we'll get in.
LJ.
- Did you give those pigs
the what-for?
- You know we did.
- Oh, Shelly,
this is Long John.
- Oh, hello. Okay.
- Yeah.
- Someone likes patchouli.
Okay.
- Yeah.
Let's go.
- Fire that shit up.
I know his eyes
are totally saucered,
but he's an above-average
stoned driver.
Also, Mulholland is only, like,
19 miles away,
so we'll get there.
- I should, uh, probably
get home.
- What? No! Bread's ex-drummer
is gonna play,
and I heard he got kicked out
'cause he rocked too hard.
- Oh, I do--I do love Bread.
It's just we just moved Milly
out of her crib this week,
and I promised her
I'd do a monster check
under her bed tonight,
which is silly,
'cause everyone knows
monsters live in the closet.
- We'll give you a ride
to your car.
- Oh, I--
uh, I could use the walk.
I think so.
- Hey, um...
- Yeah.
- Use a can of Aqua Net.
Tell her it's monster spray.
That's what my mom
used to do for me.
- Okay.
♪ ♪
- This magazine should have
no place in the future we want!
"Minx" will destroy
our movement before we have a--
- Excuse me. Excuse me.
- Watch it!
- Here you go.
- So step right up
and deposit this piece
of feminist impostor-ism
into the trash heap!
Dong is wrong!
Dong is wrong!
Dong is wrong!
Dong is wrong!
- I'm done with this!
Dong is wrong!
Dong is wrong!
Dong is wrong!
- Throw that "Minx" crap
in the trash!
Let me hear you say it!
Down with "Minx"!
Down with "Minx"!
- I don't even know why
we're doing this!
- Because they're
your magazines.
Maybe just skip the ones
with spit on them.
- Oh, God!
Hey, stop right--
Hey! Hey!
Down with "Minx"!
- Fuck Reagan!
- Hard to argue
with that, buddy.
- Prick.
Down with "Minx"!
- Fuck "Minx"!
Down with "Minx"!
- Can you believe this shit?
- Yeah, I can.
- Let it out.
- Fine.
I did tell you so.
I told you from the start
this was a bad bet.
You lost, Doug.
"Minx" is a dog.
- Yeah, we don't have
a lot fans right now, do we?
- I've done everything
you've asked.
I've been silent
when I wanted to scream.
I've defended you
when I knew you were guilty.
All in service of what?
An off-brand,
very expensive experiment?
This weird legitimacy thing
that if we don't cut
our losses
will burn our whole company
to the ground.
Down with "Minx"!
- And fuck you for making me
have to say all this stuff.
I'm the drunkest
person at the Christmas party.
I'm Good Time Tina!
- Hey, girl.
- Not you.
Eh, keep riding, junior.
Down with "Minx"!
- Ugh.
- All right,
who throws a hardback Bible?
- Is it still bleeding?
- Yes, yes.
I'm so s--
I-I-I feel responsible.
Am I--am I--
am I responsible?
- Are you talking legally
or morally?
- I don't know.
Both, I guess.
- Maybe we could ask
Wendy's lawyer.
- Just tell me that this
is all gonna blow over.
- It'll be fine, okay?
I know it seems like
the end of the world,
a bunch of college kids
yelling at each other,
but it happens every day.
- Yeah, bonfire!
♪ ♪
- ♪ All night long,
I loved her ♪
♪ Morning came too soon ♪
♪ I knew she'd be gone
by the afternoon ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I said,
"Please don't go"♪
♪ Still she said goodbye ♪
♪ But as she turned around,
she got a look in her eye ♪
♪ As she turned around,
she got a look in her eye ♪
♪ ♪
♪ And I thought it said ♪
♪ ♪
♪ When you look round
to see me ♪
♪ Turn around in your bed ♪
♪ The warmth of my body
will heat you ♪
♪ Make your blood
run cherry red ♪
♪ Cherry red ♪
♪ ♪