Minor Adjustments (1995–1996): Season 1, Episode 4 - Hoop Dreams - full transcript
Wow! My old high school year book.
Jefferson High, class of 79.
[coughing]
- Hey, dad, what's wrong? - I got something in my eye.
Come on, dad. I can see you are down.
Talk to me, man.
I'm fine. Ask Emma.
All I know is a minute ago, he was fine.
But now, he's crying. Daddy, don't cry.
I'm not crying, Emma.
This is classic case of denial.
Lie down.
Wait, let me be the shrink.
So, how do you feel?
Feel like I got something in my eye.
And how does that make you feel?
Like I got something in my eye.
That's it, daddy. Let it all out.
Emma, you're not doing this right. Here you take notes.
Okay, daddy. Let's really get inside your head.
What were you doing before you..
...got something in your eye?
Well, doctor..
...I was going through my old year book.
Ah ha! Maybe this will give us some clue as to..
Woah! Is that your hair?
A whole family can live in that thing.
Give me that book.
Wow! I did have a lot of hair back then.
Boy, have I changed? Look, how thin I was.
Man, I'm getting old.
And how does that make you feel?
- A little sad? - Yeah.
- A little depressed? - Oh, yeah.
I think we made progress. Time's up. Bye.
Remember Grat, remember Lee.
The heck with them remember me.
I couldn't have done it without you
your best friend for life, Keith.
Who the hell is Keith?
[scatting]
Okay, I'm cooking dinner tonight.
I have an vegetarian and non vegetarian selection.
Who wants popcorn? Who wants salami?
- Honey, are you okay? - I'm fine.
And you haven't spilled, broken or burned down anything?
Can't a kid be good just for the heck of it?
Who wants a foot massage?
- What do you want? - What do you want?
Basket ball camp. All my friends are going.
- Trevor, this is next weekend. - I know. I checked.
I don't have any plans.
I already filled out the application.
All you have to do is write the check.
Four hundred dollars for a weekend?
Yeah, but it includes towel service.
Boy, the last time I spent $400 on the weekend
you were conceived and I haven't had
two dimes to rub together since.
Who let my father in here?
Trevor, take Emma into the kitchen
so your dad and I can talk about this.
Come on, Emma.
No, I know you believe in the hopes
and dreams of a little boy.
I'm sure you'll do the right thing.
- Four hundred dollars? - A lot of money for a weekend.
We just spend all that money on summer camp.
And those new roller blades.
At this rate he's never gonna learn the value of money.
Agreed, so, you tell him he can't go
and I'll hug him when he pouts.
Nah-uh.
- It's my turn to be good cop. - How do you figure?
I took his skate board away from him last week.
Well, I stopped Emma from coloring on that wall
three days ago.
I scolded her for trying to tan Barbie
in the microwave yesterday.
Well, I stopped Trevor from shooting those peas
out of his nose tonight.
Damn!
Trevor get in here.
Trevor, you're mom and I both--
Oh, man!
Too bad.
- I didn't say anything. - You don't have to.
We know it's your turn to be bad cop.
Darby?
Where is Lisa Smith's file?
Is that a trick question?
No, dear, a trick question would be
"Doesn't Darby deserve a big ol' raise?"
Oh, you're so funny.
- Here it is. - You filed Lisa Smith under B?
Well, the S's were full.
So, I thought
what would be the second most obvious place?
And then it hit me.
Remember that day she bit you and it broke the skin?
And then her mother refused to pay the bill
and you called her mother a bi--
Oh, thank you, Darby.
You know that would be really precious if you were about five.
I can't believe this happened to me.
Sit down, Bruce.
I found him hyperventilating
downstairs in the parking structure.
[gasping] Ah!
He's just pale as Nicole Kidman in "Batman Forever."
- What happened? - Somebody scratched his Jag.
Somebody scratched his Jag.
Spoken with the all the sensitivity
of a mini van owner.
I'm sorry.
Somebody scratched his Jag.
Oh, the humanity.
Fine, fine. Go ahead.
Mock me. You have no idea what this car means to me.
It's your chick magnet.
The seat of your manhood.
You'd sell your mother to make a payment.
You do know.
So show a little sympathy, why don't ya?
Francine, can I ask you a question?
Yes. These are the same clothes I had on yesterday.
Look I'm a grown woman, Ron. It's been a, very long time.
- Am I not entitled to-- - What're you talking about?
Nothing.
Man, I can't believe Kenny's going to the basket ball camp.
Yep. So are David and Andrew.
- What about tall Steve? - Uh-huh.
- And stupid Steve? - Yeah.
And even Kevin's going.
And he's not too surprised that you're not going.
What does Kevin know?
He said you stopped hanging out with us
once you started going to that magnet school.
Hey, I maybe going to a different school
but I'm still one of the guys.
And didn't you tell him he was wrong?
Hm-hm. And I'll tell him again at camp.
But of course, he might miss that point
if you're not there.
Hey, it's not over yet.
Hey, Teddy. I talked to your Mom.
She said you could stay for lunch if you want to.
- Okay. - Mom!
Teddy said, everybody's gonna be at the camp.
Why can't have this one little thing?
Have I failed you as a son somehow?
You know, Trevor, I have said no to you 3000 times
but I'm glad you asked me just once more.
Because I've reconsidered.
- Really? - No.
The woman refuses to see my pain.
That pouty face..
...played out when you were six.
That used to be money in the bank.
It's tough getting old.
Hey, man. You're dad is so lucky.
Your mom's pretty as a daisy.
Teddy, stop looking at my mom.
Do I come in your house and look at your mother?
- Do I? - You did last week.
That's different. I couldn't help it.
She wasn't wearing a eye patch.
Here, Don Silva..
...filed him under a P for p-eed on my new shoes.
I wen to police head quarters
they claim they don't have the man power
to track down the scum that vandalized my car.
Isn't it just like the man to turn a deaf ear
to wealthy doctors who ding their luxury cars?
Fight the power, Bruce.
Bruce, why don't you just call the insurance company
and let them take care of it.
Oh, sure, put it on my insurance company
and become another one of the thousands of silent victims
who sit idly by--
- Big deductible? - Humongous.
Oh, Dr. Aimes, I have a message with me from Trevor.
Uh, please reconsider camp.
Now that doesn't sound like him.
There's more.
If I died tomorrow without going to basket ball camp
could you live with that? Think about it.
Now, that's Trevor.
Here you go, Teddy.
Thank you.
Nice dress, Mrs. Aimes.
Oh, thank you.
Dr. Aimes and I are going to a fundraiser this weekend.
I'll bet you'll look good in it.
Bet you look good in that plastic bag.
Actually...you'll look great in that bag.
Uh, thank you, Teddy.
You know what'll be perfect..
...if in 15 years..
...your parents just split up.
- What? - Well, think about it.
I'll be out of school and playing pro football and all.
I'd be quite a catch.
And you can call me dad.
How about I call you insane?
Now, can we get back to the problem at hand?
I gotta figure out a way to get to the camp.
- Okay. - Maybe I could sell something?
I know. I could liquidate my rural state holdings.
- What? - Sell my treehouse.
No one's gonna pay $400 for your treehouse.
[snaps] I got it, we'll sell them an eight for a dollar cup
and give away a lottery ticket with each one. Hm?
Teddy, how much are lottery tickets?
A dollar.
Oh!
Look, I appreciate you trying but..
it just isn't gonna happen.
Man, that's too bad.
Now you're the only one of us who's not going.
- Well, me and Remmy. - No, Remmy's going.
- What do you mean? - He's a hardship case.
- He's going for free. - A hardship case.
So, if you don't have any money
they let you go free.
Hmm. Perhaps, they have room
for one more poor passenger on the S.S. Hardship.
Hello. Is this the registration desk?
Listen, if we get disconnected during the call...don't worry.
It just means my parents couldn't pay the bill again.
Ron, Darby, Francine, your attention please.
- Shhhh! - Hey, Bruce.
Do we wanna talk with our little voice
or do we wanna time out?
I have a video tape here which should be a particular interest
to someone in this room.
Bruce, some of us haven't seen this movie.
That lion dies, that lion runs away
and then comes back and kills that lion.
- Bruce. - What? Relax, relax.
It's all part of the circle of life.
I got this from the parking attendant downstairs.
And it star's somebody, ah,
we all know.
- Darby? - You can't prove that's me.
- Great jacket. - Isn't it? It was on sale.
I mean I saw it through the window
that woman was buying it.
Yeah-yeah-yeah, wait a minute. Here it comes.
'Wait a minute. Ah! See.'
Darby, how could you do this? I mean, you saw how upset I was.
Well, it was a really tough choice.
Watch you freak out or watch you freak out on me.
So, lying to your uncle didn't bother you?
Of course, it did. I was eaten up with guilt.
Until I went and confessed to Father Furley.
- You're not catholic. - I know.
Father Furley is the neighbors cat.
He wears a little white collar.
He's very forgiving.
- Why do I have to be here? - My dad will believe you.
He says you have a honest face.
Personally, I don't see it.
[knocking]
Come in.
Hey, dad, I'm going to camp
and it's not gonna cost you a dime.
I'm sorry. I don't remember you saying, once upon a time.
Teddy found out that the camp gives scholarship
to the kids with best grades.
With my grade, I was the clear choice.
Ain't that right, Teddy?
This is a lovely picture of your wife.
Where's a photocopier?
- I'll talk to him. - Wait a minute.
Seems a little bit too perfect. Think I'm gonna call the camp.
You don't have to do that.
They sent me the registration package
and all the confirmation. I'm set to go.
Yeah, I just wanna make sure I don't get a bill
for $400 when you get back.
You know, I'm gonna go check on Teddy.
No. Sit down, Trevor.
Hi, this is Ron Aimes.
Yeah, I just wanna call and verify some information.
Is my son Trevor registered for your basket ball camp?
For free?
So I don't have to pay anything?
No, I guess I don't have anymore questions.
Thanks for your help. Bye.
Dad, I have to admit..
...I'm a little disappointed
that you felt you had to check up on me.
I just wanna make sure you got everything straight.
I envy you.
- Wish I were going. - You?
Oh, come on. I got the moves.
I got the jump shot.
I got the hook shot. I got the rebound.
You got the bad back.
You got the bad knees.
- You got to sit down. - Oh, shut up.
[laughing]
Hey, mom, I'm all packed.
Oooh! Look at my big boy.
Come here. Let me see what you packed?
Trevor?
You have better shirts than these.
And look at this underwear.
Mom, I promise I won't get in a accident.
I don't wanna bring my good stuff
it'd be like showing off to the kids less fortunate than me.
Well, honey, your hearts in the right place.
But even Mother Teresa's underwear isn't this holey.
The name is Bond..
...James Bond.
Oooh! Look at you.
Be careful or I'll shoot you with my watch.
And my underwear is bing bing
bulletproof.
- Bathroom's free. - Okay.
Dad, you're not taking me to camp like that. Are you?
No. We don't have the time. We're going to a fundraiser.
Camp van's coming to pick you up.
Here? Why?
'Cause I wanna at least meet one of the counselors.
But, dad, you don't wanna be late.
You'll miss the shrimp cocktail.
[doorbell ringing]
Those big jumbo shrimps, that tangy sauce.
Hmmm.
What's wrong with you? Why are you so jumpy?
I'm not jumpy. I'm just excited about going to the camp.
I'm excited about you going to the fundraiser.
I'm excited about everybody going.
So, how about I go through the door and you go out the back?
Hi. Ron Aimes?
Steve Parks, we talked earlier.
Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.
And this is Trevor. All dressed and ready to go.
- Yep, let's go. - Hold up there, Trevor.
Looks like you're going somewhere too.
Daddy, you know how the big knob
comes out of the dishwasher
and water goes all over the floor sometimes?
- No. - Never mind.
Excuse me.
This is a nice house.
Oh, this isn't our house, no, see..
...this is the Rockwell's.
My parents work here.
That's why my dad dressed like that.
He's the butler and my mom's the butlerina.
- So, they are domestics. - Shhh! They hate that word.
- Ah. - Let's go.
Why are there so many pictures of you and your family
around the house?
We take down Rockwell's pictures when they are gone.
They are very ugly people.
- Let's go. - Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
Where's your mother? I'd like to meet her.
You can't. She's upstairs. She can't come down.
She can't walk.
She can't walk and she works here?
She's not very good but
she's been with the family for a long time.
They are kind people. Ugly but kind.
[door bell ringing]
Let's get that on our way out.
Ready to go?
Teddy?
Allow me to make introduction.
This is Mr. Parks from basket ball camp.
Mrs. Aimes..
...you're a goddess.
I thought you said your mother couldn't walk.
It's a miracle.
Five, four, three, two..
I've been robbed.
They took my TV, my CD player, my new roller blades, my..
Wait a minute.
How come they didn't steal anything out of the living room?
Okay. Where is my stuff?
Stuff? You have no stuff.
You're underprivileged, i.e. stuffless.
Here's your lunch.
Hard boiled egg, carrot sticks, crackers.
- How about something sweet? - You want something sweet.
How about a sweet onion?
Oh, man.
I already didn't get to go to the camp.
Why're you doing this to me?
Because you don't realize how lucky you are, Trevor.
Now, it wouldn't hurt you to do without once in a while.
I had to when I was your age, my father used to say--
Ron? Uh-huh.
You don't know what story I was gonna tell.
- The fishing trip? - No.
- The rock'em sock'em robots? - No.
The blue bike with the sissy bar?
- It would've made my point. - Okay, dad.
I guess I shouldn't expect to get everything
and when I do get my things back
I'll really appreciate them. so..
...when can I start appreciating them again?
Not for a couple weeks at least.
You better get a move on.
You walking to school.
- Don't forget this. - Oh, man.
Why can't you people just send me to bed
without supper like other parents?
Why do you have to be so...original?
Well your mother and I, we don't paint, we don't write
we need a more creative outlet.
Take up Ballroom dancing, churn your own butter
get a pen pal, taxidermy.
There are a million things you can do.
Collect butterflies..
I think we broke him.
[laughing]
'Build a ship in a bottle!'
Where is Darby? I can't find the file of one of my patients.
If you are looking for a name that starts with S
look under another letter.
- What? - Well, the S's are full.
Darby's improvising.
You know that Sanders kid the one with the la-la ears?
- Billy Sanders? - Yeah.
Well, she filed him under D for Dumbo.
Okay. Where should I start looking?
Does a patient have any distinguishing characteristics?
You know odd laugh, strange odor, extra toes.
You know he does have huge mole.
You don't suppose, K, L, M.
Bingo!
Oh, this is incredible.
Darby, you filed one my patients under M for mole?
Oh, no. I filed him under M cause he looks like my mom.
Oh, Uncle Bruce, I wanna thank you
for not making me pay for the whole car thing.
And to show appreciation I've had your car washed and waxed.
[chuckles] Ah!
Darby, that-that was really very nice.
Well, why don't you go look at it?
Okay, I will.
That was very considerate of you.
Well, I got the idea from these two guys
who wash my wind shield down at the Chomper burger.
They did such a good job that I asked them
if they did all cars because my boss's Jag
was really, really dirty.
Wait a minute. You hired them to do Bruce's car?
Yeah, and I left them in the parking structure
and I told them which car it was.
And they said, they'd get right on it.
Nice guys.
Darby?
You see this, hon'?
This..
...is what's left of my Jaguar.
I know what you're thinking, but I'm sure there's
a perfectly good explanation
I'm just gonna call them on your car phone.
Hello.
Well, where are you guys?
Well, you should come back now.
Hello?
What is he saying?
Well, he said he couldn't talk right now
'cause he is having a little trouble hearing
over the blow torch.
Hold me.
[scatting]
Jefferson High, class of 79.
[coughing]
- Hey, dad, what's wrong? - I got something in my eye.
Come on, dad. I can see you are down.
Talk to me, man.
I'm fine. Ask Emma.
All I know is a minute ago, he was fine.
But now, he's crying. Daddy, don't cry.
I'm not crying, Emma.
This is classic case of denial.
Lie down.
Wait, let me be the shrink.
So, how do you feel?
Feel like I got something in my eye.
And how does that make you feel?
Like I got something in my eye.
That's it, daddy. Let it all out.
Emma, you're not doing this right. Here you take notes.
Okay, daddy. Let's really get inside your head.
What were you doing before you..
...got something in your eye?
Well, doctor..
...I was going through my old year book.
Ah ha! Maybe this will give us some clue as to..
Woah! Is that your hair?
A whole family can live in that thing.
Give me that book.
Wow! I did have a lot of hair back then.
Boy, have I changed? Look, how thin I was.
Man, I'm getting old.
And how does that make you feel?
- A little sad? - Yeah.
- A little depressed? - Oh, yeah.
I think we made progress. Time's up. Bye.
Remember Grat, remember Lee.
The heck with them remember me.
I couldn't have done it without you
your best friend for life, Keith.
Who the hell is Keith?
[scatting]
Okay, I'm cooking dinner tonight.
I have an vegetarian and non vegetarian selection.
Who wants popcorn? Who wants salami?
- Honey, are you okay? - I'm fine.
And you haven't spilled, broken or burned down anything?
Can't a kid be good just for the heck of it?
Who wants a foot massage?
- What do you want? - What do you want?
Basket ball camp. All my friends are going.
- Trevor, this is next weekend. - I know. I checked.
I don't have any plans.
I already filled out the application.
All you have to do is write the check.
Four hundred dollars for a weekend?
Yeah, but it includes towel service.
Boy, the last time I spent $400 on the weekend
you were conceived and I haven't had
two dimes to rub together since.
Who let my father in here?
Trevor, take Emma into the kitchen
so your dad and I can talk about this.
Come on, Emma.
No, I know you believe in the hopes
and dreams of a little boy.
I'm sure you'll do the right thing.
- Four hundred dollars? - A lot of money for a weekend.
We just spend all that money on summer camp.
And those new roller blades.
At this rate he's never gonna learn the value of money.
Agreed, so, you tell him he can't go
and I'll hug him when he pouts.
Nah-uh.
- It's my turn to be good cop. - How do you figure?
I took his skate board away from him last week.
Well, I stopped Emma from coloring on that wall
three days ago.
I scolded her for trying to tan Barbie
in the microwave yesterday.
Well, I stopped Trevor from shooting those peas
out of his nose tonight.
Damn!
Trevor get in here.
Trevor, you're mom and I both--
Oh, man!
Too bad.
- I didn't say anything. - You don't have to.
We know it's your turn to be bad cop.
Darby?
Where is Lisa Smith's file?
Is that a trick question?
No, dear, a trick question would be
"Doesn't Darby deserve a big ol' raise?"
Oh, you're so funny.
- Here it is. - You filed Lisa Smith under B?
Well, the S's were full.
So, I thought
what would be the second most obvious place?
And then it hit me.
Remember that day she bit you and it broke the skin?
And then her mother refused to pay the bill
and you called her mother a bi--
Oh, thank you, Darby.
You know that would be really precious if you were about five.
I can't believe this happened to me.
Sit down, Bruce.
I found him hyperventilating
downstairs in the parking structure.
[gasping] Ah!
He's just pale as Nicole Kidman in "Batman Forever."
- What happened? - Somebody scratched his Jag.
Somebody scratched his Jag.
Spoken with the all the sensitivity
of a mini van owner.
I'm sorry.
Somebody scratched his Jag.
Oh, the humanity.
Fine, fine. Go ahead.
Mock me. You have no idea what this car means to me.
It's your chick magnet.
The seat of your manhood.
You'd sell your mother to make a payment.
You do know.
So show a little sympathy, why don't ya?
Francine, can I ask you a question?
Yes. These are the same clothes I had on yesterday.
Look I'm a grown woman, Ron. It's been a, very long time.
- Am I not entitled to-- - What're you talking about?
Nothing.
Man, I can't believe Kenny's going to the basket ball camp.
Yep. So are David and Andrew.
- What about tall Steve? - Uh-huh.
- And stupid Steve? - Yeah.
And even Kevin's going.
And he's not too surprised that you're not going.
What does Kevin know?
He said you stopped hanging out with us
once you started going to that magnet school.
Hey, I maybe going to a different school
but I'm still one of the guys.
And didn't you tell him he was wrong?
Hm-hm. And I'll tell him again at camp.
But of course, he might miss that point
if you're not there.
Hey, it's not over yet.
Hey, Teddy. I talked to your Mom.
She said you could stay for lunch if you want to.
- Okay. - Mom!
Teddy said, everybody's gonna be at the camp.
Why can't have this one little thing?
Have I failed you as a son somehow?
You know, Trevor, I have said no to you 3000 times
but I'm glad you asked me just once more.
Because I've reconsidered.
- Really? - No.
The woman refuses to see my pain.
That pouty face..
...played out when you were six.
That used to be money in the bank.
It's tough getting old.
Hey, man. You're dad is so lucky.
Your mom's pretty as a daisy.
Teddy, stop looking at my mom.
Do I come in your house and look at your mother?
- Do I? - You did last week.
That's different. I couldn't help it.
She wasn't wearing a eye patch.
Here, Don Silva..
...filed him under a P for p-eed on my new shoes.
I wen to police head quarters
they claim they don't have the man power
to track down the scum that vandalized my car.
Isn't it just like the man to turn a deaf ear
to wealthy doctors who ding their luxury cars?
Fight the power, Bruce.
Bruce, why don't you just call the insurance company
and let them take care of it.
Oh, sure, put it on my insurance company
and become another one of the thousands of silent victims
who sit idly by--
- Big deductible? - Humongous.
Oh, Dr. Aimes, I have a message with me from Trevor.
Uh, please reconsider camp.
Now that doesn't sound like him.
There's more.
If I died tomorrow without going to basket ball camp
could you live with that? Think about it.
Now, that's Trevor.
Here you go, Teddy.
Thank you.
Nice dress, Mrs. Aimes.
Oh, thank you.
Dr. Aimes and I are going to a fundraiser this weekend.
I'll bet you'll look good in it.
Bet you look good in that plastic bag.
Actually...you'll look great in that bag.
Uh, thank you, Teddy.
You know what'll be perfect..
...if in 15 years..
...your parents just split up.
- What? - Well, think about it.
I'll be out of school and playing pro football and all.
I'd be quite a catch.
And you can call me dad.
How about I call you insane?
Now, can we get back to the problem at hand?
I gotta figure out a way to get to the camp.
- Okay. - Maybe I could sell something?
I know. I could liquidate my rural state holdings.
- What? - Sell my treehouse.
No one's gonna pay $400 for your treehouse.
[snaps] I got it, we'll sell them an eight for a dollar cup
and give away a lottery ticket with each one. Hm?
Teddy, how much are lottery tickets?
A dollar.
Oh!
Look, I appreciate you trying but..
it just isn't gonna happen.
Man, that's too bad.
Now you're the only one of us who's not going.
- Well, me and Remmy. - No, Remmy's going.
- What do you mean? - He's a hardship case.
- He's going for free. - A hardship case.
So, if you don't have any money
they let you go free.
Hmm. Perhaps, they have room
for one more poor passenger on the S.S. Hardship.
Hello. Is this the registration desk?
Listen, if we get disconnected during the call...don't worry.
It just means my parents couldn't pay the bill again.
Ron, Darby, Francine, your attention please.
- Shhhh! - Hey, Bruce.
Do we wanna talk with our little voice
or do we wanna time out?
I have a video tape here which should be a particular interest
to someone in this room.
Bruce, some of us haven't seen this movie.
That lion dies, that lion runs away
and then comes back and kills that lion.
- Bruce. - What? Relax, relax.
It's all part of the circle of life.
I got this from the parking attendant downstairs.
And it star's somebody, ah,
we all know.
- Darby? - You can't prove that's me.
- Great jacket. - Isn't it? It was on sale.
I mean I saw it through the window
that woman was buying it.
Yeah-yeah-yeah, wait a minute. Here it comes.
'Wait a minute. Ah! See.'
Darby, how could you do this? I mean, you saw how upset I was.
Well, it was a really tough choice.
Watch you freak out or watch you freak out on me.
So, lying to your uncle didn't bother you?
Of course, it did. I was eaten up with guilt.
Until I went and confessed to Father Furley.
- You're not catholic. - I know.
Father Furley is the neighbors cat.
He wears a little white collar.
He's very forgiving.
- Why do I have to be here? - My dad will believe you.
He says you have a honest face.
Personally, I don't see it.
[knocking]
Come in.
Hey, dad, I'm going to camp
and it's not gonna cost you a dime.
I'm sorry. I don't remember you saying, once upon a time.
Teddy found out that the camp gives scholarship
to the kids with best grades.
With my grade, I was the clear choice.
Ain't that right, Teddy?
This is a lovely picture of your wife.
Where's a photocopier?
- I'll talk to him. - Wait a minute.
Seems a little bit too perfect. Think I'm gonna call the camp.
You don't have to do that.
They sent me the registration package
and all the confirmation. I'm set to go.
Yeah, I just wanna make sure I don't get a bill
for $400 when you get back.
You know, I'm gonna go check on Teddy.
No. Sit down, Trevor.
Hi, this is Ron Aimes.
Yeah, I just wanna call and verify some information.
Is my son Trevor registered for your basket ball camp?
For free?
So I don't have to pay anything?
No, I guess I don't have anymore questions.
Thanks for your help. Bye.
Dad, I have to admit..
...I'm a little disappointed
that you felt you had to check up on me.
I just wanna make sure you got everything straight.
I envy you.
- Wish I were going. - You?
Oh, come on. I got the moves.
I got the jump shot.
I got the hook shot. I got the rebound.
You got the bad back.
You got the bad knees.
- You got to sit down. - Oh, shut up.
[laughing]
Hey, mom, I'm all packed.
Oooh! Look at my big boy.
Come here. Let me see what you packed?
Trevor?
You have better shirts than these.
And look at this underwear.
Mom, I promise I won't get in a accident.
I don't wanna bring my good stuff
it'd be like showing off to the kids less fortunate than me.
Well, honey, your hearts in the right place.
But even Mother Teresa's underwear isn't this holey.
The name is Bond..
...James Bond.
Oooh! Look at you.
Be careful or I'll shoot you with my watch.
And my underwear is bing bing
bulletproof.
- Bathroom's free. - Okay.
Dad, you're not taking me to camp like that. Are you?
No. We don't have the time. We're going to a fundraiser.
Camp van's coming to pick you up.
Here? Why?
'Cause I wanna at least meet one of the counselors.
But, dad, you don't wanna be late.
You'll miss the shrimp cocktail.
[doorbell ringing]
Those big jumbo shrimps, that tangy sauce.
Hmmm.
What's wrong with you? Why are you so jumpy?
I'm not jumpy. I'm just excited about going to the camp.
I'm excited about you going to the fundraiser.
I'm excited about everybody going.
So, how about I go through the door and you go out the back?
Hi. Ron Aimes?
Steve Parks, we talked earlier.
Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.
And this is Trevor. All dressed and ready to go.
- Yep, let's go. - Hold up there, Trevor.
Looks like you're going somewhere too.
Daddy, you know how the big knob
comes out of the dishwasher
and water goes all over the floor sometimes?
- No. - Never mind.
Excuse me.
This is a nice house.
Oh, this isn't our house, no, see..
...this is the Rockwell's.
My parents work here.
That's why my dad dressed like that.
He's the butler and my mom's the butlerina.
- So, they are domestics. - Shhh! They hate that word.
- Ah. - Let's go.
Why are there so many pictures of you and your family
around the house?
We take down Rockwell's pictures when they are gone.
They are very ugly people.
- Let's go. - Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
Where's your mother? I'd like to meet her.
You can't. She's upstairs. She can't come down.
She can't walk.
She can't walk and she works here?
She's not very good but
she's been with the family for a long time.
They are kind people. Ugly but kind.
[door bell ringing]
Let's get that on our way out.
Ready to go?
Teddy?
Allow me to make introduction.
This is Mr. Parks from basket ball camp.
Mrs. Aimes..
...you're a goddess.
I thought you said your mother couldn't walk.
It's a miracle.
Five, four, three, two..
I've been robbed.
They took my TV, my CD player, my new roller blades, my..
Wait a minute.
How come they didn't steal anything out of the living room?
Okay. Where is my stuff?
Stuff? You have no stuff.
You're underprivileged, i.e. stuffless.
Here's your lunch.
Hard boiled egg, carrot sticks, crackers.
- How about something sweet? - You want something sweet.
How about a sweet onion?
Oh, man.
I already didn't get to go to the camp.
Why're you doing this to me?
Because you don't realize how lucky you are, Trevor.
Now, it wouldn't hurt you to do without once in a while.
I had to when I was your age, my father used to say--
Ron? Uh-huh.
You don't know what story I was gonna tell.
- The fishing trip? - No.
- The rock'em sock'em robots? - No.
The blue bike with the sissy bar?
- It would've made my point. - Okay, dad.
I guess I shouldn't expect to get everything
and when I do get my things back
I'll really appreciate them. so..
...when can I start appreciating them again?
Not for a couple weeks at least.
You better get a move on.
You walking to school.
- Don't forget this. - Oh, man.
Why can't you people just send me to bed
without supper like other parents?
Why do you have to be so...original?
Well your mother and I, we don't paint, we don't write
we need a more creative outlet.
Take up Ballroom dancing, churn your own butter
get a pen pal, taxidermy.
There are a million things you can do.
Collect butterflies..
I think we broke him.
[laughing]
'Build a ship in a bottle!'
Where is Darby? I can't find the file of one of my patients.
If you are looking for a name that starts with S
look under another letter.
- What? - Well, the S's are full.
Darby's improvising.
You know that Sanders kid the one with the la-la ears?
- Billy Sanders? - Yeah.
Well, she filed him under D for Dumbo.
Okay. Where should I start looking?
Does a patient have any distinguishing characteristics?
You know odd laugh, strange odor, extra toes.
You know he does have huge mole.
You don't suppose, K, L, M.
Bingo!
Oh, this is incredible.
Darby, you filed one my patients under M for mole?
Oh, no. I filed him under M cause he looks like my mom.
Oh, Uncle Bruce, I wanna thank you
for not making me pay for the whole car thing.
And to show appreciation I've had your car washed and waxed.
[chuckles] Ah!
Darby, that-that was really very nice.
Well, why don't you go look at it?
Okay, I will.
That was very considerate of you.
Well, I got the idea from these two guys
who wash my wind shield down at the Chomper burger.
They did such a good job that I asked them
if they did all cars because my boss's Jag
was really, really dirty.
Wait a minute. You hired them to do Bruce's car?
Yeah, and I left them in the parking structure
and I told them which car it was.
And they said, they'd get right on it.
Nice guys.
Darby?
You see this, hon'?
This..
...is what's left of my Jaguar.
I know what you're thinking, but I'm sure there's
a perfectly good explanation
I'm just gonna call them on your car phone.
Hello.
Well, where are you guys?
Well, you should come back now.
Hello?
What is he saying?
Well, he said he couldn't talk right now
'cause he is having a little trouble hearing
over the blow torch.
Hold me.
[scatting]