Minder (1979–1994): Season 1, Episode 10 - The Dessert Song - full transcript

♪ I could be so good for you

♪ Love you like you want me to

♪ I could be so good for you

♪ Love you like you want me to... ♪

- Here we are, then.
- Ta, Mario.

Shall we er... pop out the
back, see how he's getting on?

- Would he like a coffee?
- No, no, no.

Don't interrupt him while
he's working.

Ah, I've always had trouble
with my back.

Aufh. Me too.

The sleepless nights, mama mia,
I can tell you.



Interesting though, the human spine

is not strong enough to support an animal
that walks upright all the time.

Upright all the time? I only wish
I could, I'm telling you that.

It's a fact. I read it in...
in the Observer.

Come on, Terry,
we'll be here all day.

Leave it out, Arthur, there's
hundreds of the bleeding things.

- 194.
- Hang about, Mario, you said 200.

What is six tins? Anyway, I gave you
the rest for practically nothing.

Green peaches, pickled walnuts...

These are quality goods,
not rubbish, you know?

Shame there aren't any labels
on them.

Whoever buys these is really living
dangerously.

Aah. People can't resist a gamble.

That's the psychology of
salesmanship, Terry.



Well, good luck.

I've got to get back to work.
You finished?

- Yeah, ta. Ciao, Mario.
- Ciao, mate.

- Take it easy, eh, Terry?
- Yeah, I will.

I never knew you had back trouble.

Well, I don't talk about it,
do I?

Suffer in dignified silence.

- Must be a worry though.
- Yeah.

- At your age.
- Age has got nothing to do with it.

Come on, get them tins on. I want to
be shot of them by this afternoon.

Oh, a pity he only wanted
the green peaches.

Everybody else only wants
the bleeding walnuts.

All right, all right.

I don't know what's the matter with people
today, no imagination, no initiative.

I suppose I can wave goodbye
to my earnings for the day.

Where to now?

- Are you hungry?
- Yeah, I'm starving, as it happens.

All right, come on,
I'll buy you a bacon sandwich.

Arthur, don't push the boat out
on my account

Hang about a bit. There's somebody
getting a spanking.

Cor, they'll do him a permanent.

Oi!

Take it easy, my son.

- Are you all right, mate?
- Yeah, OK.

- It's all right. I think.
- What's the damage?

- OK. It is OK.
- Got some cuts and bruises.

- Up you get, come on.
- Right, ooh...

- Do you want to go to the hospital?
- No.

- Doctor?
- It is not bad. It is not bad.

- Do you want a lift anywhere?
- Yes, yes please.

- You take me Tavros.
- Where's that?

Hey. It is a restaurant
in Greenslades.

All right. Come on.

- My name is Karolos.
- O, yeah.

- In English, is er...
- Charlie.

This town is hard for me.

I see Greek Cypriots playing cards
with Turkish Cypriots.

Oh, well, yeah it is very
cosmopolitan, Palmers Green.

Ooh, come on, hold on.

- They kick my knees.
- Yeah, I know the feeling.

- Nice place.
- It is my cousin.

- A table for three?
- Not just now, thanks.

They don't want a table,
you idiot!

Charlie, what the hell
is the matter with you?

Slight accident.

Well, you could have brought him in the
back way! What will the customers think?

Through here

Very charming.
Must remember this.

Yes, you must.

'Ey, Terry, get him!

All right. Hold on.
There you go, son.

- Yeah...
- Ok, I'll get a chair.

- There you are. Sit down.
- It is OK.

Are you all right?

- What happened this time, Charlie?
- My name's Daley, Miss er...

- Mrs. Kostos.
- Mrs. Kostos.

Well, me and my partner Terry
came upon this gentleman

being set upon by three
young hooligans.

Giving him a right good hiding,
they were.

And we stepped in
and helped him out.

- Are you hurt?
- It is not bad.

Sorry, Christina.

My cousin has been in the country
three days!

He seems incapable
of keeping out of trouble.

Please, Christina, I am making
no trouble. I am drinking coffee.

A Turk asked me if I have seen
the new monument in Nicosia,

to the brave Turkish soldiers,
who invade Cyprus. What am I to say?

I tell him these brave Turkish soldiers
who shoot my brother,

when he has no gun.
I tell them that.

- What did you expect, you fool?
- It is not my fault.

I must get back to the restaurant.

- Thank you for your help, Mr. Haley.
- Daley. Arthur Daley.

- You might I have a word, Mrs. Kostos?
- Well, if it won't take too long.

Yeah. Terry, go and start up the van,
will you?

Yeah, all right.

Ta-da, mate. Look after yourself.

Bye-bye.

I suppose you want some compensation
for your trouble.

Oh, Mrs. Kostos, do I look
like that sort of person?

No, I was wondering, do you
get much call for pickled walnuts?

Pickled walnuts?

Yeah, you know, bung 'em
in the moussaka or something.

You can bung anything in a moussaka.
No offence intended.

I don't get any call for pickled walnuts,
Mr. Daley. Thank you very much.

- No, it was just a thought anyway.
- Goodbye

So long, Charlie.
Goodbye, Mrs. Kostos.

From now on, Charlie, you keep your
mouth shut.

I will not allow your obsession
with what happened in Cyprus

to jeopardize my restaurant!

Handsome woman. Capable, too, I should
think, running a restaurant like that.

Wonder where the old man was. I
didn't see him, did you?

- Fancy your chances there, do you?
- It would be dead handy.

Pop in for a little bit of tender, loving care.
A nice fillet steak, on the house.

Arthur, she couldn't wait
to see the back of us.

Oh, yeah? You understand the machinations
of a passionate Continental, do you, Terry?

- No, I understand the...
- Let's go and get a bite to eat

and then we'll tell Mario what we
can do with his pickled walnuts.

- I don't see why it is so important.
- It is important because I say so.

And just keep Charlie away
from the restaurant and away from me.

Especially me, right?

What does it matter if he knows?
We are not doing anything wrong.

Not in London we are not. Who cares
what widows get up to around here.

But what about back in Cyprus?

If Charlie finds out about us,
he'll start flapping his mouth

before he's unpacked his souvenir
model of Buckingham Palace!

The next thing we know,
the rest of your bloody cousins are here

drinking the restaurant dry and
trying to save your soul.

Oh. All right, Johnny. All right.

From now on, I keep Charlie away
from here, huh?

Johnny, I want to talk to you
about Omar.

- Well, I don't.
- I have to do something about him, Johnny.

He could make trouble for the
restaurant.

- I was thinking if I offered him a cash sum...
- No, way, Christina.

Now we can make good
money from this place.

And when I say we,
I mean you and me.

You let Omar and his Turkish hordes

to get a foot inside the door here,
and I'm off.

Do you understand what I'm saying,
Christina?

Yes. Yes, you're so right...

I've got things to do.

Two slices of mozzarella.

First comes in a woman - very smart,
a bloody foreigner.

She wants to know, where is the man
who drives my van?

Thank you very much.
Your change, sir.

There we are. Come again soon.

Two slices of mozzarella.

Then in comes a man - not so smart.

Even more of a bloody foreigner. So,
you could hardly understand what he's saying.

And he wants to know: 'Where is
the man what drives my van?'

- What did you do to my van? Hit a nun?
- I'm sorry, Mario.

Huh! They come in asking questions
and they buy nothing.

I don't know what it's all about.
What do you tell 'em?

I told them to go to the
Winchester Club.

I told them that they could always
find Arthur Daley there.

Except when he's driving around
causing trouble in my van.

Yeah, talking of your van, Mario,
me and Terry have had...

Hold on! Hold on!

This is NOTHING to do with me,
all right?

Me and Terry have had a bit
of setback with them tins.

- Setback?
- Yeah, we've still got the bastards.

I was wondering, could we leave them
here for the time being?

No, no, no,
I have no room.

There's a delivery of olive oil
coming in today.

Don't you need the van?

Just take a look out front.

As a matter of fact, I've been trying
to sell that old van for months.

Now I've got the new one,

you can use that old one
as long as you like.

Bloody tins. They're beginning to
haunt me.

Whitechapel Italians,
they're all villains.

Look. You'd better get down
to the Dragon.

Least they'll be some money
coming in from somewhere.

Drop me off at the Winchester.

Do you reckon it was her
from the Tavros?

Course it was. I reckon
the other one was Charlie.

Gawd knows what he wants.

- Gawd knows what she wants either.
- Well, it's obvious, innit?

Case of instant attraction.

Huh! I thought it was
instant hatred.

Nah. She didn't want
to let on in front of everyone else.

I see your point.

Fancying you - she'd wanna keep that quiet,
wouldn't she?

I'll see you about chucking-out
time, then.

Maybe. Maybe not.

- Arthur, Arthur.
- Yeah.

Be careful, eh. She's only
after your pickled walnuts.

Oh, come on, Arthur,
have one with me.

Oh, that's very nice of you, Dave.
Vodka slim.

Terry down the drinker,
wrestling the Irish?

Yeah.

I can't remember when we last had
your company for a whole evening.

Somebody wanted to see me.
Must have blown out.

Mr. Daley.

Mrs. Kostos.

Well, this is a pleasant surprise.

Get the lady a drink, Dave.

- Campari and soda, please. No ice.
- Coming up.

- No ice. Do sit down. There we are.
- Thank you very much.

You must forgive me for tracking you
down like this, Mr. Daley.

Arthur, please, Mrs. Kostos.

- Christina.
- Oh, nice.

Just like in Onassis?

I er... must apologies for my
behavior this afternoon.

- You were being so helpful and I was so...
- No, no. Don't say another word.

You were obviously
under extreme stress.

You are so perceptive.

Yes, it's true.

I have been under a lot of stress recently,
since my husband died.

Well, I am sorry to hear that,
Christina.

You're very kind.
But the worst is over now.

And I keep busy.
I have the restaurant to run.

The trouble is, Arthur...

Yes?

I am Greek. Hm.
I'm a Greek Cypriot.

My late husband was
a Turkish Cypriot,

so now I have few friends
on either side.

My late husband's friends and
relations think it is wrong.

Not suitable for me to run the
restaurant on my own.

Christina, erm...
are you in some sort of trouble?

Yes.

There is a man. Omar.

He was my husband's brother.

He runs a horrible cafe.

He thinks he should take
my husband's place in the restaurant.

Not only in the restaurant.

Diabolical!

I am expecting him
to call on me tomorrow.

That's why I had to see you.
Arthur, he's a very violent man.

Er, er, don't worry, Christina. I'll...
We'll put Terry in there for the day.

He's an expert in what you might call
curbing violence.

Oh, I'm so grateful to you.
Of course, I will pay him well.

No, no, no, Christina.
You mustn't talk about money.

- Finish up your drink.
- No, I won't, thank you.

- I must go now.
- Must you?

Yes. Er... Arthur, would it be possible
for Terry to wear a tie.

And a suit, eh?

- We must be discreet.
- Right. Don't alarm the punters.

Well, I er... I look forward
to seeing you tomorrow.

Me too.

Very tasty.

Missed out, did you?

You mustn't rush these things, Dave.

Take 'em along gently. Lull 'em
into a sense of false security.

I'd better go and pick up Terry

or Harry'll palm him off
with handful of luncheon vouchers.

That wouldn't do, would it? I mean,
Terry getting his wages direct.

Do you like pickled walnuts?

No, no... They...
they turn me right up.

Yeah, you and a million
other people, it seems.

Aye-aye.
I think we've got a gatecrasher.

Oh, my gawd. He's all right.
He's a mate of mine.

- Arthur. Arthur!
- Calm down, calm down.

Calm down for gawd's sake,
Charlie. Sit down!

You must help me, Arthur.
It's very important.

What you been doing? You been
aggravating the Turkish population again?

- I... I have lost a key.
- Yeah.

I think in the back of your, how you say,
how you say? Lorry.

- Van.
- Van. It's very important key for me.

It's key is for my luggage.

Yeah. All right. Well, I'm going to meet Terry
now. So, you'd better come with me.

Oh! Oh! Arthur, Arthur.

- You are my good friend.
- Leave me out, Charlie!

Thank you.

Come on, lads, finish up.

Now, this is what
really gets up my nose.

They happily taking
your money all evening,

then dead on the bell,

it's, "Sod off, you.
Keep the bleeding noise down."

- It's the law.
- Up the law.

- Come on. Let's go.
- I'm finishing my drink.

Good luck, then.

- Come on, sunshine, on your bike.
- Touch me, John, and I'll do you.

Argh... I'm a draughtsman.
Oh, you'll break my bleedin' arm!

If you come back again,
I'll break your bleedin' neck! Out!

- Quiet night, Terry?
- Huh!

Charlie reckons
he dropped a key in the van.

It probably fell out of his pocket while
he was rolling around on the cobbles.

Yeah, well, go and help him
look for it, eh?

Good evening, Arthur.

Good evening, Terence.

I'll er... just go
and say hello to Harry.

- How are you feeling now?
- Oh, I hurt a bit.

- But leg much better. Ha ha.
- That's good, innit?

What's that, left luggage?

Got it.

Yeah?

Oh, yeah! Got it. Harry wants to know
if you wanna swift one.

- He wants us to run him to the station.
- Please, Arthur.

It's very important.

Stroll on, Charlie! Can't the
clean Y-fronts wait till the morning?

- It's last thing I ask.
- All right, all right. Come on.

Everyone on the chara.

Thanks, Harry.

- So, Christina says that -
- Ooh-ooh!

Christina now, is it?

Christina, she says she wants you to
look out for this Omar geezer.

Oh, come on. Where's laughing boy
and his treasure chest?

I'm dying for some kip.

Here he comes.

All right, Charlie?

'Ere, mind them tins!
Don't dent 'em!

Your poor little walnuts?

Now, what's this hotel:
The Machos, Smakos?

No, no. Now you take me
Hornsey Road, please.

Hornsey Road? Leave it out.

No, come on.
We'll take you home, Charlie.

I reckon he's got
something naughty on.

What you got in there, a case
of illegally imported Cyprus sherry?

- Ha, ha, ha.
- No, no, it's nothing like that.

It is just my gun.

I am sorry, Terry.

But now you take me Hornsey Road,
please.

It's very important.

- Charlie, what are you messing about that? Stop the van, Terry.
- Drive.

Pull over.

Drive faster.

You're not gonna shoot Terry!
He's your friend. We both are.

- We helped you out, right.
- Please! Please, drive!

No, no, no, Come on. There's a good lad,
Charlie. Charlie.

Charlie, there's a good lad. There's no point
in blowing Terry's head off.

None at all. And what a thing to do to someone
who saved you from a beating, eh?

- Please...
- Come on, Charlie.

- Arthur.
- There's a good boy.

Sorry. Very sorry.

Listen, sunbeam,
you ever do that again,

I'll break your legs.

Cor, where did you get this, Charlie?

- War museum?
- No, no, no.

It's my grandfather's.

I have to cut through barrel,
fit case.

He would be mad with me
for that.

I should think so, too.
That's vandalism.

Look at Terry. He's quite upset.

Yeah. With a shotgun
stuck in my earhole

I do tend to get quite upset.

Antique shooter like this, you were
probably in the safest place.

Terry, forgive me.

Don't touch me!

Come on, Charlie. Where's
this hotel you're staying at?

The Turks, they...
They bombed the village.

Then... Then soldiers, they come.

Is a... a curfew.

But er... My brother, he is
stubborn.

He sits outside his house in the
evening, like a Greek, he said.

These... These were
Turkish soldiers...

...shooting...

Where was you?

I was in my house, obeying curfew.

Yeah, but how do you know
it was this geezer that did it?

I have information.

Is a man here, tells me
a Turk is boasting

he knows name of my village,
the name of my brother.

- This man, he knows everything.
- Yeah, but who is this man?

He is a er... Greek Cypriot.

That's a very sad story, Charlie.

But you go round London
topping Turks,

all you'll get is banged up
where they don't serve kebabs.

And what about Christina?

Oh, yes, Christina.

Yeah, Christina.
She'll do her nut, won't she?

- Yes.
- Come on.

- Now, you be a good boy.
- No more trouble, Arthur.

Oh, and Terry, get yourself
a suit for tomorrow.

Here, cop hold.

Christina don't want you looking
scruffy,

- while you're minding her cafe.
- Scruffy? Bleedin' cheek!

Oh, Terry, do me a favour, my son,
observe the speed limits.

I mean, it's not going to be very clever
to be stopped

while we've got Charlie's
amputated shooter on board, is it?

Not to mention the pickled walnuts.

- And, Terry, wear a tie.
- Eh?

- A tie.
- A tie.

Yeah, I remember.
I had one of them once.

Ohh! Terry!

My father used to tell me about the
old days

when the men would put on
their best suits

and go out at dawn
to shoot somebody

for looking at their sister.

I reckon Charlie heard
the same stories, too.

I never thought he would go
to such extremes.

I'm ashamed to say it

but I've always thought of him as
being rather comical.

Put him on a plane home, love,
or he might commit a comical murder.

Arthur, I don't know how to thank you.
You've been wonderful.

Well, I'll see you later,
Christina.

And don't worry about Omar.

If he comes on strong,
Terry will kick him into touch.

I saw this geezer, mind you,
he was Irish

every night, after he'd had a few
drinks, like,

he used to get a roof tile, put it
on the bar, look at it,

then WALLOP! Break it in half with
his head. Straight up.

Thick as a post, he was.
Unbelievable.

I'll have another go with those tins.

- I might drop in later for lunch.
- Yeah, oi!

Just don't forget if you
sell any you still owe me.

Of course.
Ooh,

ooh... Very nice.

Don't put your thumbs in the soup!

Oh, whoops!

I'm sorry, friend, we're not
serving lunch yet.

- I don't think you realise who I am.
- No, I don't.

Who are you,
hitman for Fanny Cradock?

It's all right, Terry,
he's a friend.

Whatever you're paying him is too
much.

I have to protect myself, don't I?

You won't let me deal with Omar
in my way.

Well, I have to keep him
at arm's length somehow.

- Hey, Terry.
- Yeah?

I've had it up to here
with being a waiter.

Terry, I'm strong, I don't smoke, I
don't drink. I do karate.

Do you think
I could get work like you?

Well, erm...

- Are you intelligent, quick thinking?
- Oh, yeah.

- You got initiative?
- Definitely.

Then, no. You're over qualified.

I just want you to tell me
what to do.

First of all, sort out
your comedian of a cousin.

Ship him back to his goats,
or whatever he's got.

Come on, we'll go and get him a
ticket right now.

- All right.
- Then I'll tell you what to do about Omar.

In the meantime, your tame bouncer
can mind things. OK?

Yes, OK.

- Charlie's gun in here?
- No.

I hid it in the storeroom.

I'll throw it off a bridge, or whatever
it is you're supposed to do.

Hm. Yeah.

Christina, why don't you go and
bring the car round to the front.

I've got a few calls to make.

Johnny, listen, I don't mean to go on
at you, but I just want you to help me.

I understand.

Now I'm helping you.
Right?

I'll get the car.

It's Omar.

Help you, gentlemen?

I have come to see Mrs. Kostos.

She's not seeing anybody
at the moment.

- Then she'd better see me.
- No.

She particularly
doesn't wanna see you.

I'm amused that Mrs. Kostos should go
to such lengths employing a bodyguard.

But if you will not tell her
that I'm here,

Shafiq will fetch her for me.

Yeah, well, I suppose
I can't stop him trying.

Shafiq.

Have a look,
it's John Travolta.

Fantastic!

Very well.

You will tell Christina that if she's not
prepared to discuss things in a civilised fashion,

then I must think about things
in a different way.

This restaurant will be closed
within one week.

Yeah, all right. I'll tell her.

But in the meantime, get yourself
and your friend out.

Come. Things will go bad
for Christina from now on.

- Table for two?
- Yeah, help yourself, pal.

- Oh dear.
- Don't worry. It wasn't the cooking.

Ah, hello, sir.
Good morning. Table for two.

- Well?
- Well, he's gone.

He's definitely got plans for you.

- What does he mean, plans?
- Like closing you down.

You're here to make sure that
doesn't happen, aren't you?

Yeah, but let's just say,
just for a joke,

he gets some Tizer bottles, fills 'em up
with 4-Star and lobs 'em through the window.

Then phone the fire brigade!

I thought you were supposed
to be the hard nut around here?

Yeah, well, I just thought I'd
mention it.

- Surely Omar...
- Listen.

He probably wants to get some work
for his mates.

Now go and get the car, OK?

And you get back in the restaurant.

Now listen.

As far as I'm concerned,
I work for Mrs. Kostos.

So, while I'm in the restaurant,

you don't talk to me,
you don't come near me.

Because I don't like you.

And I'm having a lot of trouble
trying to keep it a secret.

No answer.

- Hey! Table No.5.
- Ah!

Uh... Er... Erm...

Who's having the little green round
things?

- There you go.
- Those would be my stuffed vine leaves.

They're yours.

- Terence! Table for one.
- One what?

Bang goes your tip for starters.

Talking of starters, bung us a menu.

Ta.

You can't sit down with a customer.

- It looks like...
- Now, listen, Arthur...

Only joking.
How's it going?

- Well, you've got competition.
- Oh, yeah? What kind?

That young geezer,
just going out the door.

- He is Christina's.
- You're joking!

Any sign of Omar?

Yeah, Omar came in,
with a little friend.

I had to give his friend a smack
on the wrist.

So, they took their custom elsewhere.
I think it was just an opener.

I reckon they'll be back
for the second leg.

He's no more than a bit of a boy.

That's right. You'll to settle for
being a father figure, won't you?

Me?!

I don't give a monkey's.

Leave it out, Arthur.
You were all over her.

Huh! Business, wasn't it?

All it needed was a little charm
and here you are earning...

a nice little wage, and here I am
ordering lunch on the house.

- Are you listening?
- Do what?

- Avocado vinaigrette...
- Hold on...

- Lamb kebab -
- No...

- Green salad.
- Nick!

Oi, come on, where's your
little book?

Nick!

- Now, your plane leaves at 7:30, yeah?
- Yeah.

I get you a minicab.

No. No, no, no.
I take you myself.

If I'd spent more time with you
none of this would have happened.

I'll see you later.

You eat too much animal fat,
you do.

No, straight up. I read about it.

In the countries where they eat
the most meat,

that's where they have the most
heart attacks.

I bet your arteries are needle thin.

Leave it out. Can't you see
I'm eating?

Yes, I can see that, Arthur.

Thank you.

It's the cholesterol, isn't it?

- What's all that about?
- It is pitta, Greek bread.

This cheap bastards don't suppose
to deliver at lunch time.

Very tasty this, Nick.

I'll tell the chef.

Someone lost a thumb.

Terry!

Terry! Terry!

Those who bring the bread,
look what they do.

Nick, they took the key to the deep
freeze.

I had to give it or they hit me.

Argh!

That's diabolical.

Oi, there's a geezer out front,
says he's a borough health inspector.

Anything the matter?

Oh, my good gawd!

We've received a complaint.

Who made this complaint?

I'm not at liberty to divulge that.

These things are dealt
within the strictest confidence.

Yeah, I'll... I'll just have a word
with this gentleman, Nick.

I'm sorry but Mrs. Kostos
isn't here at the moment.

I can examine the premises
regardless of who is present.

Oh, yes, of course, of course,
I understand that. Do sit down.

Only you see, I'm in the catering
trade in a way.

I wondered if you could just clear up
one or two points for me.

- Here, hit them with this.
- Do me a favour!

- He's coming!
- You must! You must!

This floor looks damp.

Oh, an accident.
Some cooking oil was spilt.

- What's going on here?
- Spot check, Mrs. Kostos.

I don't understand this, sir.
We've never had a complaint before.

Nothing to be ashamed of.

Naturally, I hate
to have to close you down.

- Do you mind?
- No.

Oh, sorry, sorry.

Hello, what's this?

It's a ladle.

Funny place to keep a ladle.

Well...

Well, that settles it. I must talk to
Omar, try to come to some agreement.

Hang about, Christina.
Look, like you said,

just because your old man
steps off the... passes away,

it don't mean Omar can come in here
and start playing tunes on your till.

Well... I haven't been entirely honest
with you.

You see,
the truth is...

...Omar built up this restaurant with
my husband.

They shared the work, the
responsibility equally.

When my husband died, it turned out

that the restaurant
was legally mine.

Omar has as much right to it
as I have, if not more.

I was persuaded.

Johnny?

Yes. He was a waiter here.

I was...

Johnny saw a great opportunity,
I suppose.

A right little gold digger.

Yeah, but when you asked Omar to go,
did he just leave?

He went on holiday. We changed
the locks, the staff, the menu.

Johnny would have nothing Turkish on
the menu.

Omar had some savings.
He bought a rundown cafe.

Whatever you may think of him,
he is not an aggressive man.

He didn't do a bad impersonation!

Those rats.

Ugh, makes you want
to turn vegetarian, don't it?

Look, now I have made my decision.
I won't need Terry any more.

- Perhaps we can discuss money now, yes?
- Good idea.

- 'Ere, Terry, go and look after the van...
- Hold on, Arthur.

Come on, come on.
It's on a double yellow.

Money down the drain.
Come on, come on.

Would £150 be reasonable?

Christina, please. Not for me.

But, I suppose... Terry...

Johnny - he won't give you any
aggravation, will he?

Oh no. Once he hears that I've
made it up with Omar, he'll be off.

Don't worry.
I can handle Johnny now.

Ta.

I suppose your opinion of me now
is not what it was.

On the contrary, Christina, you are
my flavour of the month.

- Yes?
- This is your friend speaking.

Please... Please leave me alone.

'Listen to me.
I spoke to him again.'

I asked him what he would do if the son of
the man he killed came to him with a gun.

'Never happened' he said
'They were not a family of honour.'

Too much for what he thinks!

It's not true!

'They were not a family of honour.'

I show him who is family of honour!

- Arthur.
- Terry.

You know, one day, just once,

I'd like to get my wages
without having to ask for 'em.

Sorry, Terry.
Completely slipped my mind.

There you go. Half a ton.

Fifty?!

Very tight fisted, that Christina.

Anyway, that's more than you get normally
in a place like that, including tips.

- Same again?
- Why not, Dave?

Terry's getting 'em in.
He's just been paid.

Hello, a friend of yours, Arthur.

- Oh, thank God you're here.
- Christina, you're just in time.

Chair, chair, chair...
Terry's getting 'em in.

Drink for the lady.
Campari, soda, no ice.

- No, thank you.
- You sure?

- It's Charlie.
- I know.

He wants a lift to the airport.

I'm thinking of charging
that geezer petrol money.

He is not at his hotel. His luggage
has gone. He's checked out.

Well, maybe he decided he wanted
to have a look at Big Ben.

Or Wimbledon Dog track.

He promised me he wouldn't leave
the hotel.

He knows the time of the flight and
everything.

You think he's up to the ritual murder
lark again?

At least he ain't tooled up.
Er... Got a gun.

- Well, that is the other thing.
- Yeah?

I hid the gun at the restaurant.

Now it's gone. The only other person
who knew where it was was Johnny.

Nah...

He's probably taken it to show it
in front of his mates.

- You sure you don't want a drink?
- No, thank you.

When Charlie hijacked us, he was all
for going up the Hornsey Road.

We could go up there and have a look,
Christina, if you like. It's a very long road.

The Hornsey Road?
That's where Omar's place is.

Just a thought.

Yeah. Charlie did say that the geezer
who gave him the nod

knew about his brother being shot.

Right?

So, Johnny set Omar up
for topping Charlie's brother.

Dead handy for Johnny, no more Omar
no more shares in restaurants.

No, that's incredible.

It's the way our devious minds work,
I'm afraid.

- What's the name of Omar's place?
- Bistro Cataline.

You take Terry up there in your motor.
I'll follow in the van.

Hornsey Road. I'll tell you when.

You must be looking forward to this.

I'm not killing this
man for my own pleasure.

Of course not.

You are doing your duty.

What a toff.

Look, if Charlie has done
anything silly, keep well out of it.

OK.

Oh, er...
Arthur.

- Yeah.
- Watch yourself.

The clutch is a bit sharpish,
you know.

Why don't you teach your grandmother?

- You go through that blue door.
- Yes, yes. I understand.

But just get back here fast.
And I mean fast.

We'll have you on the plane
within an hour.

Good luck.

What do you want? Eat?

Wrong way.

Come here.

Nobody's supposed to come in here.

- Keep the engine running.
- Terry.

Tell Omar everything will be
all right about the restaurant.

- Please, huh?
- Yeah, all right.

If Charlie hasn't put him off the
catering business for life.

Do you want to eat here,
or takeaway?

No, it's all right,
I'm just browsing.

How was the health inspector?

By the way, I have taken a leaf
out of Christina's book and...

enlarged my staff.

They are very good at hurting people,
I am told.

Listen, Omar, I've come here
to save your life.

I want to report a shooting.

Stop!

Stay where you are...

or I'll show you some new ways
of using salt.

And you put that gun down.

Terry, please, you must
get away from here.

Who is this madman?

Don't talk.

He's a Cypriot. His name is Charlie.
And his interests...

- include blowing your head off!
- Terry, please.

No more talk.

You must go.

This is Christina's brother-in-law,
you great Cypriot berk!

He had nothing to do
with your brother.

That was just Johnny telling you
stories.

- No.
- Yes.

Getting you all wound up so you go round
blowing holes in people that he doesn't like.

Christina's outside.

Go and ask her
if you don't believe me.

For gawd's sake, put that gun down.

Would you care to step inside?

Charlie, that's no way to start
a family reunion.

Omar is having a chat with Christina
before she takes Charlie to the airport.

Then he's coming over
to collect you, my old son.

I said he could have you.

He is not very pleased with you,
old Omar.

Says he's going to stick a tomato
in your mouth,

give you a couple of turns over the charcoal
and serve you up on a bed of rice.

Got some very dodgy mates,
old Omar.

- Eh, Terry?
- Cor, not many!

You should've seen what they nearly
done to Terry. And he's a class!

And you... you're
a great cream puff.

Listen, he got what he wanted.

Yeah, but think of all those lonely
months in the Hornsey Road.

Enough to drive anyone to torture.

And if Omar lets you off lightly,

I'll be inclined to send Terry
here in

to recycle anything that's left over.

Listen, I've got some money.

Oh yeah.
And where do you get that?

Cream it out of
Christina's restaurant?

I'm talking in hundreds.

All right, son. Here you are.
Drive yourself out of trouble.

One Ford Transit, almost MOTd.

Oh, you'll have to fork out
for the contents, though.

- There's no time to unload 'em.
- Valuable foodstuffs.

500.
Bargain of the week.

- Good news about your tins, Mario.
- Somebody stole them?

- We only flogged 'em, didn't we?
- I'm amazed.

I'm telling you that.
Who is this person, an idiot?

Well, his judgment could be said
to be impaired a little bit.

And guess what?
We also sold the van.

Oh, this is wonderful. How much?

- 150.
- 150?!

- Oh, my God. I could get about 400!
- Yeah.

Ah, this is robbery!
You robbed me!

Leave it out, Mario.
Quick sale, cash in the hand.

- 150!
- I've gotta be off.

Oi, oi... Excuse me.

Oh, yeah, yeah... Here we are.
I'll see how Christina's getting on.

Now remember, you're down
the Dragon tonight. Your favourite band.

The one that gets 'em murdering
each other. Cheers, Mario!

Cheers to you, Arthur bloody Daley.
I... I tell you that!

It's all right, Mario.
I'll bleeding tell him.

Oi, Arthur! What's this?
Oi! Come here!

Arthur!

♪ If you want to, I'll change the
situation

♪ Right people, right time, just
the wrong location

♪ I've got a good idea

♪ Just you keep me near

♪ I'll be so good for you
♪ I could be so good for you

♪ I'm gonna help you
♪ Love you like you want me to

♪ I'll do anything for you

♪ I'll be so good for you

♪ I could be so good for you

♪ I'll do like you want me to
♪ Love you like you want me to

♪ There ain't nothing
I can't go through

♪ I'll be so good for you ♪