Mike & Molly (2010–2016): Season 6, Episode 1 - Cops on the Rocks - full transcript
Mike and Carl break up. Molly does an interview for NPR.
♪ ♪
Oh. Sorry I'm late.
Bit of a hectic morning.
Although, sometimes when,
uh, people are in conflict
and they're left alone together,
they tend to work
things out themselves.
Okeydoke.
Let's jump right in, then.
Uh, I understand
there's some tension
between the two of you.
Uh, Biggs, you want to tell us
what's the matter?
Actually, why don't you
let her talk first?
You'll find out what
the problem is pretty quick.
I didn't come here
to be insulted.
I came to be vindicated.
So you know what?
I will start.
You know why this
relationship went wrong?
'Cause my supposed best friend
turned his back on me
in my time of need.
Your entire life
is a time of need.
See what he does?
Just pecks away at
my self-esteem.
Then I start thinking
that I'm the problem.
You are the problem.
Okay, okay.
Now, Biggs, I'm hearing
a lot of anger from you.
See? You're the problem.
Check and mate.
No, we're not done here yet.
All right, then just check.
Look, I was ready
to put all this behind us
until he bailed on me
and requested a new partner.
Well, that's because
you bailed on me as a friend.
Time after time,
you put everyone else first.
Hey, I was a great friend.
Until you weren't.
Carl, what do you want from me?
An apology would be nice.
You made me feel
like I was nothing to you.
Okay, fine.
Carl, if I made you
feel that way, I'm sorry.
Apology not accepted.
What?!
Well, I got what I want.
You admitted you were wrong.
I didn't admit anything!
Well, then why'd you apologize?
Your Honor, I rest my case.
And let the record show
that he can kiss my ass!
Boy, he is a bit
of a drama queen, isn't he?
Why couldn't you say
that when he was in here?
I don't like conflict.
♪ La, la-ba-dee-da ♪
♪ La, la-ba-dee-da ♪
♪ For the first time
in my life ♪
♪ I see love ♪
♪ I see love ♪
♪ For the first time
in my life ♪
♪ I see love ♪
Mom, please close your robe.
Oh, relax.
I was just saying hi
to the new neighbors.
Look, Peggy,
we wrote a book.
We have to publicize it.
You can't just keep
blowing me off.
Uh-huh.
Now, I may not be
that religious,
but I happen to know there's
no such thing as Ash Monday.
Okay.
Radio station, tomorrow.
Just be there.
She's not gonna be there.
Who cares?
Just do the interview yourself.
I can't. It's her story.
Which you had to listen to
hour after hour
and somehow make sense of.
Yeah, you've earned
this spotlight.
She may have been abused
by an alcoholic father
on a run-down farm,
but you're the one who suffered.
You know, you're not wrong.
Sometimes with Peggy,
less is more.
I mean, she's like
the shark in Jaws.
Or at least that's
the music I hear
when she's coming toward me.
Why are all the neighbor kids
standing on the lawn?
They're perverts.
How'd it go with Carl?
Total waste of time.
I don't know
what I ever saw in Carl.
Preach.
Right?
I mean, what kind of person
doesn't accept an apology?
The same kind of person
that likes to watch you
pop balloons with nothing
on but high heels.
Okay.
You have... you have
different Carl issues.
No.
No, she doesn't.
He's selfish
as a lover and a friend.
Okay, come on. You know you guys
are gonna work it out.
And if it doesn't happen
in therapy,
just grab a bag of balloons.
You know what he likes.
That's very funny.
But I don't need him anymore
because I got my best friend
right here.
Aw.
Mwah!
My pal!
Best buddies, huh?
Yeah.
That has got to stop.
What?
I-I can't keep doing
this best-friend thing.
The other day,
he called me "dude."
Was it during...?
It was right after
but before the high five.
♪ ♪
I thought you can't smoke
in bars anymore.
It's a cop bar.
You can do what you want.
Laws do not apply.
So everybody in here is a cop?
Yeah, pretty much.
I mean, it's a place
where we can unwind,
let our guard down
and just be with our own.
Like a gay bar.
No. Are you kidding?
There's nothing gay
about these guys.
I mean, just look at all
the leather jackets
and the mustaches.
My mistake.
Boy, ten years I tied myself
to that jackass.
You know I put off
taking the sergeant's exam
so I wouldn't leave Carl behind?
Who knows where I'd be
if I never met him, you know?
Sergeant? Lieutenant? Captain?
So you gonna shoot for that now?
Ah, it's too late.
He took my youth.
Uh-oh.
Speak of the devil.
Oh, unbelievable.
You want to take off?
I got as much right
to be here as he has.
Hey, Mike.
Samuel.
I thought we agreed...
you get the diner,
I get The Nightstick.
Nightstick?
And you're sure
this isn't a gay bar?
No big deal either way.
I just like to know
before I go to the john.
Look, I'm not gonna be told
where I can and cannot go
in this city. Oh, yeah?
Well, that's too bad,
'cause I got
one more suggestion
where you can go.
Oh, I was already
in that hell...
for ten years, sitting
in our squad car.
I'm sorry the captain ever
forced me to ride with you.
What are you talking about?
Nobody else wanted
any part of you,
because you're
an annoying motormouth
that nobody can stand.
You weren't a partner;
You were a punishment.
Okay, okay.
Let's relax. Have a drink.
If-if you want to smoke,
I can bum a cigarette
off Freddie Mercury over here.
You call yourself
a police officer?
Look at you.
You're sloppy.
You're out of shape.
You're a danger to anybody
that's partnered up with you.
You're not a cop;
You're a liability.
All right, we're done.
No, I'll say when we're done,
and we're done.
I said it first.
Well, I meant it more.
Whew.
I've never been
to a gay bar before.
It's nice, right?
♪ ♪
Welcome to Novel Thoughts
with Allison Gutierrez-Cohen.
I'm Allison Gutierrez-Cohen.
Under the Shadow of the Mountain
is an unflinching memoir
of Peggy Biggs,
a spirited farm girl
who uses love to escape
the abusive bonds of her father.
Unfortunately, Peggy Biggs
couldn't be with us.
So, sitting in
is co-author Molly Flynn.
Welcome, Molly.
Hello, Allison.
It is a plea-sure
to be here.
In the book...
Yes.
...Peggy is such
a vibrant character.
Mm-hmm.
Being allowed
into her process...
Mmm.
...what a privilege.
Yeah.
You say privilege, I say potato.
Writing has always been
intrinsic to my being.
And I would hate
to be the one to say
a gift given by God,
but I...
I do have to thank someone.
I'm sorry, what was
your question again?
I didn't ask one yet.
Wonderful.
Wonderful...
We writers are always seeking
the question that has
not yet been asked.
So I hope that does
answer your question.
Still haven't asked one.
Fantastic.
Let's go to those phones.
We don't take calls.
May I make a call?
You know, I just want to say
my old partner really
did a number on me,
so if I do call you Mike by
accident, don't take offense.
I'm fully committed to us.
Listen, why don't
we cut to the chase
and deal with the elephant
in the room?
What's the problem, Mike?
Oh... Aw, geez.
Didn't think
I'd do it that soon.
Don't get me wrong,
I'm very open-minded.
I like you people.
I hope you're talking
about Scorpios.
Whatever it is you're
calling yourselves these days.
I don't mind it.
Believe me, I came this close
to voting for Obama.
Oh...
And who doesn't love
Michael Jordan?
He's one of the good ones.
I mean, I don't think I want
the man living next door to me.
It's not him, mind you.
It's the people
he brings around.
Who, Scottie Pippen?
The point is I'm okay with
all this mixing of the races.
As long as it's not next door.
Exactly. I'm glad
we're on the same page.
Ooh, that's gonna stain.
Glad you weren't wearing
your white sheet.
♪ ♪
Oh, don't be upset
about it, honey.
Nobody listens to NPR.
Well, nobody I know.
No, I haven't met
my new partner.
From what I hear,
she's a real-deal cop.
Very professional.
Yes, I brought her the cookies.
Yeah, but I want
to play it cool.
Maybe I'll give 'em to her
around snack time.
Oh, here she comes.
I got to go.
Biggs.
Stoltz.
Listen, if this
partnership's gonna work,
we got to lay down
a few ground rules.
Boundaries.
I like you already.
Sorry.
First off,
I keep a clean vehicle.
This is a squad car,
not a lunchroom.
No eating.
Got it.
However, I do have
low blood sugar.
I-I can step outside
to have my string cheese.
Second, let's keep
it professional.
You don't bitch about your wife,
I don't bitch about mine.
You mean husband.
You don't mean husband.
You got a problem with that?
Nope.
I'm very open-minded.
Came this close
to voting for Obama.
Hey, where's the shotgun?
Oh, it's in the trunk.
It's safer that way.
For who?
The dirtbags rolling up on us?
Unbelievable.
Molly, it's not a good time.
I'll call you at lunch.
If we get a lunch.
She's kind of mean.
Want to secure that in
your cookie holder?
I'm sorry, I did not
know the rules yet.
Need some help?
No, I do not.
And just so we're clear,
I've been on the force
a lot longer than you,
and I know what I'm doing,
so don't talk down to me
like I'm some rookie,
you got it?
Got it.
Good.
Yeah, it's, uh, still
not a good time.
♪ ♪
Mike, you're gonna be late.
I'm taking a sick day.
Maybe a sick month.
Come on, the longer yo♪
avoid going into work,
it's just gonna get worse.
They're calling me
"Moonroof Mike."
Oh, that's nice, real nice.
What? It's cute.
It means they like you.
You're one of the gang.
Well, most of them won't even
make eye contact with me.
You know what that is?
That's a sign of respect.
At least it is with gorillas.
Not helping.
I think that somebody needs
one of my special stories.
I don't, I don't.
Yeah, you do.
Roll over.
Okay.
The year was 1989.
There was a young ambitious girl
and a summer job at Peps Tacos.
Now, was this girl the youngest
assistant manager
ever to work for the franchise?
Yes, she was, but that's
not what we're talking...
Just tell it.
All right.
I was closing up one night.
I left a cup
under the soda machine.
It ran until morning.
Do you know what they called me?
Called me "Bubbles."
Did it hurt?
Yeah, you bet.
Okay, did I lay in bed all day?
No, sirree.
I got up,
and I marched in there,
and I told them
that Charlene was pregnant,
and they forgot all about me.
Hmm? Oh,
so-so what you're saying is...
you spilled some soda,
and I almost killed my partner,
and that's the same thing.
Okay, I tried.
You're gonna stay home, you got
to do the grocery shopping.
And I need tampons.
Aw, dude!
♪ ♪
Okay, you win.
I cannot do these
interviews alone.
That's for damn sure.
I don't know how you did it,
but you managed to be
too boring for NPR.
She should have
let me take callers.
I need an audience
to feed off their energy.
You'll get 'em next time.
Or not.
Who cares?
What is your problem?
We published a book
about your life.
I mean, doesn't it mean
anything to you?
It means the world to me.
Well, then go out there
and talk about it.
This is supposed
to be the fun part.
Why can't you just enjoy it?
Let me tell you how God works.
He sees you loving life
a little too much,
he'll find a way to humble you.
Might be a flat tire,
might be a tumor,
but it's coming.
So-so what, you're just never
gonna enjoy anything ever again?
Mm, haven't yet.
"Pride goeth before the fall."
Good times will keep on rolling
as long as I'm miserable.
Okay...
Okay.
I know what's going on here.
Somebody needs one of
my special stories.
This one's about a little girl
who suffered a lifetime's
worth of misery.
But she's been
punished enough, okay?
The pride didn't cometh
before the fall.
I think the fall wenteth
before the pride.
In the story,
you're the little girl.
You're even worse in person
than you are on the radio.
Really? 'Cause in
here I'm killing it.
♪ ♪
Hey, there you are, Biggs,
just in time for the ceremony.
What ceremony?
Oh, you didn't hear?
You're being honored.
Marksmanship award.
All right,
let's get this over with.
Congratulations.
That was a clean shooting.
That roof was coming at you.
You had no choice.
Congratulations, Moonroof.
All right, everybody
get their shots in.
Oh, should we do that here
or in your car?
That's great.
Everybody's so funny.
All right, look,
I've had enough of this.
Let's get out of here.
Uh, don't take this
the wrong way, Biggs,
but I already talked
to the captain.
I'm not riding with you anymore.
What are you talking about?
It was an accident.
I told you we should have kept
the shotgun in the trunk.
You tell her, Moonroof.
Shut up.
Look, Biggs, out there
I need a partner
who's gonna watch my back, not
accidentally shoot me in it.
Fine.
Don't be my partner.
I'm sure I can find someone
who'll ride with me.
Really?
Show of hands... who wants
to ride shotgun with Biggs?
I will.
Carl, you-you don't
have to do this.
Just let me talk.
This man
is the best cop in here.
Maybe not by the standards
of physical fitness
or personal hygiene.
But when you talk about heart,
integrity, loyalty...
there's no better partner.
I can think of one.
We had some good times, huh?
Great times.
You really want to try it again?
We're gonna have to go
to couples' counseling.
I'm okay with that.
What made you change your mind?
Been riding around with
Mississippi Burning all day.
I get it.
Mine's got something
against cookies.
Boy, there's a lot
of hate in the world.
♪ ♪
This is Author's
Notes with Robert Castle.
I'm Robert Castle.
With us today are Molly Flynn
and Peggy Biggs,
the co-authors
of the devastating memoir
Under the Shadow
of the Mountain.
Our pleasure, Robert.
Why are you talking like that?
I don't know.
It just happens.
So, about the book.
I think what I found
most powerful
were the feminist themes
you touched on.
I don't know what
that's NPR code for,
but we both like men.
Hey, while we're
here, how the hell
do I get off your pledge list?
I gave five bucks
eight years ago
because I liked your tote bag.
You've been hounding me
ever since.
That's more a question
for our subscription department.
Well, if they're listening,
take me off your damn list.
I know where
your offices are now.
It'd be a shame if something
happened to all them
commie electric cars
parked out front.
Under the Shadow
of the Mountain is available
anywhere that books are sold.
I remember buying my first book.
I, uh, I guess
I've always been attracted
to the written word.
If-if there were books,
I was a-readin', and if, uh...
I'm sorry,
what was your question?
I didn't ask one.
Wonderful.
Oh. Sorry I'm late.
Bit of a hectic morning.
Although, sometimes when,
uh, people are in conflict
and they're left alone together,
they tend to work
things out themselves.
Okeydoke.
Let's jump right in, then.
Uh, I understand
there's some tension
between the two of you.
Uh, Biggs, you want to tell us
what's the matter?
Actually, why don't you
let her talk first?
You'll find out what
the problem is pretty quick.
I didn't come here
to be insulted.
I came to be vindicated.
So you know what?
I will start.
You know why this
relationship went wrong?
'Cause my supposed best friend
turned his back on me
in my time of need.
Your entire life
is a time of need.
See what he does?
Just pecks away at
my self-esteem.
Then I start thinking
that I'm the problem.
You are the problem.
Okay, okay.
Now, Biggs, I'm hearing
a lot of anger from you.
See? You're the problem.
Check and mate.
No, we're not done here yet.
All right, then just check.
Look, I was ready
to put all this behind us
until he bailed on me
and requested a new partner.
Well, that's because
you bailed on me as a friend.
Time after time,
you put everyone else first.
Hey, I was a great friend.
Until you weren't.
Carl, what do you want from me?
An apology would be nice.
You made me feel
like I was nothing to you.
Okay, fine.
Carl, if I made you
feel that way, I'm sorry.
Apology not accepted.
What?!
Well, I got what I want.
You admitted you were wrong.
I didn't admit anything!
Well, then why'd you apologize?
Your Honor, I rest my case.
And let the record show
that he can kiss my ass!
Boy, he is a bit
of a drama queen, isn't he?
Why couldn't you say
that when he was in here?
I don't like conflict.
♪ La, la-ba-dee-da ♪
♪ La, la-ba-dee-da ♪
♪ For the first time
in my life ♪
♪ I see love ♪
♪ I see love ♪
♪ For the first time
in my life ♪
♪ I see love ♪
Mom, please close your robe.
Oh, relax.
I was just saying hi
to the new neighbors.
Look, Peggy,
we wrote a book.
We have to publicize it.
You can't just keep
blowing me off.
Uh-huh.
Now, I may not be
that religious,
but I happen to know there's
no such thing as Ash Monday.
Okay.
Radio station, tomorrow.
Just be there.
She's not gonna be there.
Who cares?
Just do the interview yourself.
I can't. It's her story.
Which you had to listen to
hour after hour
and somehow make sense of.
Yeah, you've earned
this spotlight.
She may have been abused
by an alcoholic father
on a run-down farm,
but you're the one who suffered.
You know, you're not wrong.
Sometimes with Peggy,
less is more.
I mean, she's like
the shark in Jaws.
Or at least that's
the music I hear
when she's coming toward me.
Why are all the neighbor kids
standing on the lawn?
They're perverts.
How'd it go with Carl?
Total waste of time.
I don't know
what I ever saw in Carl.
Preach.
Right?
I mean, what kind of person
doesn't accept an apology?
The same kind of person
that likes to watch you
pop balloons with nothing
on but high heels.
Okay.
You have... you have
different Carl issues.
No.
No, she doesn't.
He's selfish
as a lover and a friend.
Okay, come on. You know you guys
are gonna work it out.
And if it doesn't happen
in therapy,
just grab a bag of balloons.
You know what he likes.
That's very funny.
But I don't need him anymore
because I got my best friend
right here.
Aw.
Mwah!
My pal!
Best buddies, huh?
Yeah.
That has got to stop.
What?
I-I can't keep doing
this best-friend thing.
The other day,
he called me "dude."
Was it during...?
It was right after
but before the high five.
♪ ♪
I thought you can't smoke
in bars anymore.
It's a cop bar.
You can do what you want.
Laws do not apply.
So everybody in here is a cop?
Yeah, pretty much.
I mean, it's a place
where we can unwind,
let our guard down
and just be with our own.
Like a gay bar.
No. Are you kidding?
There's nothing gay
about these guys.
I mean, just look at all
the leather jackets
and the mustaches.
My mistake.
Boy, ten years I tied myself
to that jackass.
You know I put off
taking the sergeant's exam
so I wouldn't leave Carl behind?
Who knows where I'd be
if I never met him, you know?
Sergeant? Lieutenant? Captain?
So you gonna shoot for that now?
Ah, it's too late.
He took my youth.
Uh-oh.
Speak of the devil.
Oh, unbelievable.
You want to take off?
I got as much right
to be here as he has.
Hey, Mike.
Samuel.
I thought we agreed...
you get the diner,
I get The Nightstick.
Nightstick?
And you're sure
this isn't a gay bar?
No big deal either way.
I just like to know
before I go to the john.
Look, I'm not gonna be told
where I can and cannot go
in this city. Oh, yeah?
Well, that's too bad,
'cause I got
one more suggestion
where you can go.
Oh, I was already
in that hell...
for ten years, sitting
in our squad car.
I'm sorry the captain ever
forced me to ride with you.
What are you talking about?
Nobody else wanted
any part of you,
because you're
an annoying motormouth
that nobody can stand.
You weren't a partner;
You were a punishment.
Okay, okay.
Let's relax. Have a drink.
If-if you want to smoke,
I can bum a cigarette
off Freddie Mercury over here.
You call yourself
a police officer?
Look at you.
You're sloppy.
You're out of shape.
You're a danger to anybody
that's partnered up with you.
You're not a cop;
You're a liability.
All right, we're done.
No, I'll say when we're done,
and we're done.
I said it first.
Well, I meant it more.
Whew.
I've never been
to a gay bar before.
It's nice, right?
♪ ♪
Welcome to Novel Thoughts
with Allison Gutierrez-Cohen.
I'm Allison Gutierrez-Cohen.
Under the Shadow of the Mountain
is an unflinching memoir
of Peggy Biggs,
a spirited farm girl
who uses love to escape
the abusive bonds of her father.
Unfortunately, Peggy Biggs
couldn't be with us.
So, sitting in
is co-author Molly Flynn.
Welcome, Molly.
Hello, Allison.
It is a plea-sure
to be here.
In the book...
Yes.
...Peggy is such
a vibrant character.
Mm-hmm.
Being allowed
into her process...
Mmm.
...what a privilege.
Yeah.
You say privilege, I say potato.
Writing has always been
intrinsic to my being.
And I would hate
to be the one to say
a gift given by God,
but I...
I do have to thank someone.
I'm sorry, what was
your question again?
I didn't ask one yet.
Wonderful.
Wonderful...
We writers are always seeking
the question that has
not yet been asked.
So I hope that does
answer your question.
Still haven't asked one.
Fantastic.
Let's go to those phones.
We don't take calls.
May I make a call?
You know, I just want to say
my old partner really
did a number on me,
so if I do call you Mike by
accident, don't take offense.
I'm fully committed to us.
Listen, why don't
we cut to the chase
and deal with the elephant
in the room?
What's the problem, Mike?
Oh... Aw, geez.
Didn't think
I'd do it that soon.
Don't get me wrong,
I'm very open-minded.
I like you people.
I hope you're talking
about Scorpios.
Whatever it is you're
calling yourselves these days.
I don't mind it.
Believe me, I came this close
to voting for Obama.
Oh...
And who doesn't love
Michael Jordan?
He's one of the good ones.
I mean, I don't think I want
the man living next door to me.
It's not him, mind you.
It's the people
he brings around.
Who, Scottie Pippen?
The point is I'm okay with
all this mixing of the races.
As long as it's not next door.
Exactly. I'm glad
we're on the same page.
Ooh, that's gonna stain.
Glad you weren't wearing
your white sheet.
♪ ♪
Oh, don't be upset
about it, honey.
Nobody listens to NPR.
Well, nobody I know.
No, I haven't met
my new partner.
From what I hear,
she's a real-deal cop.
Very professional.
Yes, I brought her the cookies.
Yeah, but I want
to play it cool.
Maybe I'll give 'em to her
around snack time.
Oh, here she comes.
I got to go.
Biggs.
Stoltz.
Listen, if this
partnership's gonna work,
we got to lay down
a few ground rules.
Boundaries.
I like you already.
Sorry.
First off,
I keep a clean vehicle.
This is a squad car,
not a lunchroom.
No eating.
Got it.
However, I do have
low blood sugar.
I-I can step outside
to have my string cheese.
Second, let's keep
it professional.
You don't bitch about your wife,
I don't bitch about mine.
You mean husband.
You don't mean husband.
You got a problem with that?
Nope.
I'm very open-minded.
Came this close
to voting for Obama.
Hey, where's the shotgun?
Oh, it's in the trunk.
It's safer that way.
For who?
The dirtbags rolling up on us?
Unbelievable.
Molly, it's not a good time.
I'll call you at lunch.
If we get a lunch.
She's kind of mean.
Want to secure that in
your cookie holder?
I'm sorry, I did not
know the rules yet.
Need some help?
No, I do not.
And just so we're clear,
I've been on the force
a lot longer than you,
and I know what I'm doing,
so don't talk down to me
like I'm some rookie,
you got it?
Got it.
Good.
Yeah, it's, uh, still
not a good time.
♪ ♪
Mike, you're gonna be late.
I'm taking a sick day.
Maybe a sick month.
Come on, the longer yo♪
avoid going into work,
it's just gonna get worse.
They're calling me
"Moonroof Mike."
Oh, that's nice, real nice.
What? It's cute.
It means they like you.
You're one of the gang.
Well, most of them won't even
make eye contact with me.
You know what that is?
That's a sign of respect.
At least it is with gorillas.
Not helping.
I think that somebody needs
one of my special stories.
I don't, I don't.
Yeah, you do.
Roll over.
Okay.
The year was 1989.
There was a young ambitious girl
and a summer job at Peps Tacos.
Now, was this girl the youngest
assistant manager
ever to work for the franchise?
Yes, she was, but that's
not what we're talking...
Just tell it.
All right.
I was closing up one night.
I left a cup
under the soda machine.
It ran until morning.
Do you know what they called me?
Called me "Bubbles."
Did it hurt?
Yeah, you bet.
Okay, did I lay in bed all day?
No, sirree.
I got up,
and I marched in there,
and I told them
that Charlene was pregnant,
and they forgot all about me.
Hmm? Oh,
so-so what you're saying is...
you spilled some soda,
and I almost killed my partner,
and that's the same thing.
Okay, I tried.
You're gonna stay home, you got
to do the grocery shopping.
And I need tampons.
Aw, dude!
♪ ♪
Okay, you win.
I cannot do these
interviews alone.
That's for damn sure.
I don't know how you did it,
but you managed to be
too boring for NPR.
She should have
let me take callers.
I need an audience
to feed off their energy.
You'll get 'em next time.
Or not.
Who cares?
What is your problem?
We published a book
about your life.
I mean, doesn't it mean
anything to you?
It means the world to me.
Well, then go out there
and talk about it.
This is supposed
to be the fun part.
Why can't you just enjoy it?
Let me tell you how God works.
He sees you loving life
a little too much,
he'll find a way to humble you.
Might be a flat tire,
might be a tumor,
but it's coming.
So-so what, you're just never
gonna enjoy anything ever again?
Mm, haven't yet.
"Pride goeth before the fall."
Good times will keep on rolling
as long as I'm miserable.
Okay...
Okay.
I know what's going on here.
Somebody needs one of
my special stories.
This one's about a little girl
who suffered a lifetime's
worth of misery.
But she's been
punished enough, okay?
The pride didn't cometh
before the fall.
I think the fall wenteth
before the pride.
In the story,
you're the little girl.
You're even worse in person
than you are on the radio.
Really? 'Cause in
here I'm killing it.
♪ ♪
Hey, there you are, Biggs,
just in time for the ceremony.
What ceremony?
Oh, you didn't hear?
You're being honored.
Marksmanship award.
All right,
let's get this over with.
Congratulations.
That was a clean shooting.
That roof was coming at you.
You had no choice.
Congratulations, Moonroof.
All right, everybody
get their shots in.
Oh, should we do that here
or in your car?
That's great.
Everybody's so funny.
All right, look,
I've had enough of this.
Let's get out of here.
Uh, don't take this
the wrong way, Biggs,
but I already talked
to the captain.
I'm not riding with you anymore.
What are you talking about?
It was an accident.
I told you we should have kept
the shotgun in the trunk.
You tell her, Moonroof.
Shut up.
Look, Biggs, out there
I need a partner
who's gonna watch my back, not
accidentally shoot me in it.
Fine.
Don't be my partner.
I'm sure I can find someone
who'll ride with me.
Really?
Show of hands... who wants
to ride shotgun with Biggs?
I will.
Carl, you-you don't
have to do this.
Just let me talk.
This man
is the best cop in here.
Maybe not by the standards
of physical fitness
or personal hygiene.
But when you talk about heart,
integrity, loyalty...
there's no better partner.
I can think of one.
We had some good times, huh?
Great times.
You really want to try it again?
We're gonna have to go
to couples' counseling.
I'm okay with that.
What made you change your mind?
Been riding around with
Mississippi Burning all day.
I get it.
Mine's got something
against cookies.
Boy, there's a lot
of hate in the world.
♪ ♪
This is Author's
Notes with Robert Castle.
I'm Robert Castle.
With us today are Molly Flynn
and Peggy Biggs,
the co-authors
of the devastating memoir
Under the Shadow
of the Mountain.
Our pleasure, Robert.
Why are you talking like that?
I don't know.
It just happens.
So, about the book.
I think what I found
most powerful
were the feminist themes
you touched on.
I don't know what
that's NPR code for,
but we both like men.
Hey, while we're
here, how the hell
do I get off your pledge list?
I gave five bucks
eight years ago
because I liked your tote bag.
You've been hounding me
ever since.
That's more a question
for our subscription department.
Well, if they're listening,
take me off your damn list.
I know where
your offices are now.
It'd be a shame if something
happened to all them
commie electric cars
parked out front.
Under the Shadow
of the Mountain is available
anywhere that books are sold.
I remember buying my first book.
I, uh, I guess
I've always been attracted
to the written word.
If-if there were books,
I was a-readin', and if, uh...
I'm sorry,
what was your question?
I didn't ask one.
Wonderful.