Mike & Molly (2010–2016): Season 5, Episode 14 - What Ever Happened to Baby Peggy - full transcript

Peggy shares tantalizing stories from her past for Molly's second book.

Previously on Mike & Molly...

This book that sits before me
is the physical manifestation

of all your hard work,
the fruits of your labor,

the vessel in which you've
laid bare your soul,

exposing it like
a freshly waxed orifice.

Now let me see the orifice!

I mean, the-the book.
Gah! The book, the book.

I remember when
I was a little girl

working on my daddy's farm...

Oh, please don't
tell me a story.

Let me tell you a story.



I was a meek little thing,

scared of my own shadow
and the sheep I had to castrate.

That's where you learned it?

Just when I thought my life
couldn't possibly get any worse,

a city fella in a '56 Rambler
pulled up to the house

and asked for directions.

Was that Mike's dad?

Hell no.

This was a real man.

Wore a three-piece suit
with hard shoes

and smelled like a pine forest
after a spring rain.

That's very poetic, Peggy.

What he did to me wasn't poetic.

It was filthy.



And I loved it.

All right, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

Got to write it down. Go.

MIKE: Oh, look at you,
writing again.

Yeah, new story.

About a young girl coming
of age on a hardscrabble farm

at the base of
the Mudlick Mountains.

Mudlick?
That's-that's where...

My mom grew up
on a farm in Mudlick.

Oh, no!

Session one,
untitled Biggs-Flynn novel.

Uh, 8:55 a.m.

Go.

Do you have to use
that stupid thing?

Well, I don't want to, you know,
miss any of the details,

and over the years,
I've-I've kind of learned

to tune you out
when you start talking.

Feels like I'm giving
a damn deposition.

Like when Mr. Mariachi Music
next door

found dog dirt in his mailbox.

Which, again,
I had nothing to do with.

Peggy, relax,
you're not on trial.

Just tell me your story
from the beginning,

way before you were
torturing your neighbors.

Allegedly.

Okay.

You're a little girl
in Mudlick, Missouri.

Just take me through
a typical day on the farm.

It's pretty much
what you'd expect.

Care to elaborate?

Um...

You know.

No. I really...

I really don't.

Come on, give me some details.

The earthy,
sharp smell of the barn,

or the-the feel
of the, you know,

threadbare calico
on your bony shoulders.

Boy, it's as if you were there.

Well, then tell me
what it was like.

Fine.

It's pretty much
what you'd expect.

Oh, for crying out loud.

Wait.

You just reminded me
of something.

Okay, finally.

If I'm going
to make chili tonight,

I better go soak those beans.

Friday, 8:58 a.m.

And if you're listening to this,

you know why
I killed Peggy Biggs.

♪ La, la-Ba-Dee-da ♪

♪ La, la-Ba-Dee-da ♪

♪ For the first time
in my life ♪

♪ I see love ♪

♪ I see love ♪

♪ For the first time
in my life ♪

♪ I see love ♪

Why does your mother have to
make everything so difficult?!

I don't know.
Why is the sky blue?

Why do I eat my feelings?

We'll never know.

I was there
for eight hours today.

Want to hear some of the
wonderful work that we got done?

(vacuum cleaner whirring)

What's that?

That's me vacuuming
your mom's house.

And then after that...

(garbage disposal grinding)

Aw, you fixed her disposal.

Oh, yeah.

And then I changed
the lightbulbs,

then I took her dog for a walk,

all 'cause that was supposed
to help her write.

Well, did it?

Well, you tell me.

(snoring)

Yeah, she nodded off
while I was folding her laundry.

I let her sleep, 'cause
I thought maybe she'd talk

at least while she was asleep.

Did she?
Ah, she just

grumbled about
closing our borders.

She's impossible.

Wait. Are you saying
my mother's hard to work with?

Yes.
That's weird.

'cause with everybody else,
she's exactly the same!

Will you please
just let me complain?!

No.

I warned you.

But you chose to partner
with Peggy Biggs.

It's like when I ate that

Tombstone Meat Lover's
Pizza at 1:00 a.m.

You told me it would
give me heartburn.

Which it did!

Which is why you wouldn't
let me complain about it.

Believe me, I knew of
your discomfort.

You "vented" in other ways.

I'll give you the same counsel
you gave me.

"Sorry you don't feel good,

but you need
to take that outside."

Aw, come on!

There he is.

Gentlemen.

(both laugh)

I can't believe
the warden let you out.

Well, the warden
and the executioner

are writing together now,
so my weekend's free.

I can do whatever I want.

All right.

What do you want to do first?

Well, since the ladies are
a little tied up with the book,

I got to pick up corn pads
for my mom at the drugstore,

then swing through Target

and replace this pillow
that's hurting Molly's neck,

then a quick stop
at the supermarket

to pick up the food to cook
dinner for my hardworking gals.

Are you kidding?

That's how you're gonna
spend your freedom?

You were better
off on the inside.

It's not so bad.

Molly said I can do these things
in any order I wanted.

Mike, come on.

We came over to hang out,
not run errands.

Bros before chores.

Well, what were you guys
gonna do if I wasn't around?

We'll start off at the Target.

Watch your head.

Okay.

Don't step in the rat traps.

And if you believe in
all that asbestos nonsense,

don't breathe too deep.

I never do in your house.

Now, let's see.

I got some photo albums
around here somewhere.

Oh, look,
Mike's old catcher's mitt.

Nah, that's mine.

From the church softball league.

That's where I learned
to chew tobacco.

Oh.

I always wondered how you became
such an accurate spitter.

Yeah.

Here we go.
(chuckles)

Oh, wedding pictures.

Peggy, you were
a beautiful bride.

I was pregnant.

Well, that explains the glow.

Don't tell Mikey. I wouldn't
want him to think less of me.

Not possible.

Hey, do you have any pictures

from when you were
growing up on the farm?

Well, I think there might be
here in this box.

Let's see.

Aw, look at that.

What is that?

Mikey's hair.

Oh, feel how soft.

You want to touch it?
Oh, no, that's okay.

That's okay.

I-I prefer touching
the living stuff.

Yeah.

You probably don't want to see
his nail clippings then, right?

Hey, what's, uh...
what's in here?

Oh, that's nothing... just
some old blankets, you know.

Oh, like quilts?
I'd love to see them.

Yeah, leave it. Hey, you know,
now I think there might be

some old photos
over here somewhere.

Oh. Well, you know what?
Why don't I start here?

You never know
what might spark a story.

Yeah, leave it.

All right. In fact, we should
be looking in the garage.

There's nothing up here.

What... what are you
talking about?

This whole place
is filled with memories.

Oh...

Okay!

PEGGY: I'm gonna lock the door!

You coming or not?!

Yeah, just a minute!

(loud snap) Ow!

Son of a bitch!

Reset that rat trap
before you come down.

I'm telling you,
that woman is driving me nuts.

And I can't even kill her,

'cause I've already
confessed to it on tape.

And then today,
I'm trying to jog her memory

by digging through
all these old photos,

and she just
completely shuts me out.

Mm. Well, maybe you need
to partner up with a woman

who has a good story to tell
and isn't afraid to work.

Mom, I don't want
to write your story.

Are you sure?
I got some goodies.

And we're off.

Did I ever tell you
I went to Woodstock?

No, actually.

What was that like?

Amazing.

The music was incredible.

Yeah, and...?

What do you mean, "and"?

You're the writer,
fill in the blanks.

I think it's a really
good story, Mom.

Thank you.

VINCE: Help!

Little help here!

All right.

Steady there, Mother Biggs.

I'm not kidding.

It's like moving a water
bed full of schnapps.

God! Where did you find her?

Staggering down the street
yelling "Molly""

like Brando in Streetcar.

All the houses
around here look alike.

Get your hand off my ass.

I'm holding your back.

I got a long crack.

Okay, okay, okay.

Peggy, how much have
you had to drink?

Don't know.
I'm not done yet.

Okay. Give me that.

Give me...

Give me that.

I'll get you some coffee.

Oh, don't bother.
I'm not staying long.

I'm just gonna say my piece

and then get
the hell out of here.

Okay. Please, just sit down.

I thought I was.

I'm through with
this book business.

You can go suck
somebody else dry.

I just remembered another part
of the Woodstock story.

Really?!

Okay, Peggy,
what has gotten into you?

I just told you.
We're done.

Give them their money back.

They're my stories, and they're
staying right inside of here.

Okay, okay.

Obviously, something
is bothering you.

Victoria, go get her a blanket.

We'll just discuss it
in the morning.

No, we can discuss it now.

Great, okay.

Go... go ahead.

It's none of your business!

Oh, boy.
I did that too fast.

Okay. Okay, I've said
what I have to say.

You're a lovely
audience, and bye-bye!

All right,
I know I have to get her!

I just don't want to!

(snoring)

That can't be good.

Do I want to know?

She showed up here drunk.

Drunk? I've seen her
have a few beers

every now and then,
but never drunk.

Well, you missed all the fun.

Barged in here,
yelled at me about the book,

and then took off
like a bat out of hell.

I had to chase her
for six blocks.

Good news is she runs like
a gazelle with that new hip.

But why?
I don't know.

Probably 'cause it's made
out of titanium.

Molly...

I think the idea
of her telling her story

has freaked her out.

Do you know anything about

this hope chest
that she has up in her attic?

Hope chest?

You mean her grudge box?

'Cause she keeps
that right by her bed. No.

This is something else,
and it really set her off.

Okay, well,
I'm telling you right now,

I think the best thing to do is
just drop this whole book thing.

What? No.

We made a deal.

They gave us an advance.

It doesn't matter.

If something's
bothering Peggy Biggs,

you best not poke at it,

unless you want your mail
postmarked with a dog turd.

Well, what are
we supposed to do?

Just pretend like none
of this ever happened?

Now you got it.

That's ridiculous.

It's the way it is.

Well, how is anybody supposed
to heal or to feel better?

In my family, nobody wants to do
any of those things.

Look, when one of us is upset,

the general rule is:
pretend like it's not happening.

Talk about sports, the weather,
anything but the actual problem.

It's what we call good manners.

Well, I call it denial.

You can call it what you want.
It's the Biggs way.

What the hell happened?

You had too much to drink, Ma.

You know, I-I tend to do that
when something's bothering me.

And you know what helps?

Talking about it.

You can go to hell,
and you can take me home.

See? It's just good manners.

Looks like rain.

It sure does.

So you two are
done with the book?

I am.

Okay.

You know, it's too bad
though, 'cause...

Molly was really looking forward
to working with you.

(scoffs)

Very nice, lie to your mother.

I'm not lying.
(scoffs)

I mean, she knew it was
gonna be somewhere

between miserable
and hell on earth.

But she did want
to tell your story.

Well, it turns out
there's nothing to tell.

That's what I told her.

Good.

It's definitely gonna rain.

Yep.

(doorbell rings)

What are you doing here?

Since we're no longer
working together,

I came to get my things.

Fine.

Getting a little cloudy
out there.

Sure is.

You know what
they always say about rain.

What's that?

Into every... life...

a little...

rain may... I don't know.

I can't... I can't do this.

Can we just talk about
what's going on with you?

Nothing's going on with me.

Come on, Peggy,
help me understand.

You were so excited
about writing this book.

What happened?

What do you care?

I care because, God help me,
you're part of my family now.

And in my family,
we actually talk about

what we're going through.

That must be why
you're all so well-adjusted.

Okay, fair point.

But... trust me,
if you let this stuff fester,

you will turn into
a bitter person.

Or... bitterer.

Or bittererer.

You're not gonna
let go of this, are you?

The Biggs way might be
to avoid the problem,

but the Flynn way
is to care enough not to.

Blech.

I know.

I hated it the second
it came out of my mouth.

Come on!

Is that you or me?

Molly!

Oh, me!

Okay.

My father sent me this trunk
just after my mother died.

Oh, that's sweet.

She's not in here, is she?

I thought I'd never see anything
from that farm once I left.

This was my first doll.

Oh, she's the...

stuff of nightmares.

She's made of corn husk.

We didn't have much.

Moths ate her twin.

Oh, is this your father's pipe?

My mother's.

Don't you know
what a woman's pipe looks like?

Oh.

Yeah, now-now I see it.

Very... very feminine.

After Daddy went to bed,
she'd sneak out on the porch,

smoke her pipe, and just cry.

Oh.

Why was she crying?

I told you,
it was hard on that farm.

We barely scraped by.

And when things went really bad,
Daddy got angry.

Angry how?

He started hitting.

The walls, the dog...

You?

He tried,
but Mama wouldn't let him.

So he turned it all on her.

Peggy, I had no idea.

How could you?

No one knew.

First chance I had,

I lit out of there
and never looked back.

Well, of course.

I mean, what choice
did you have?

I left her there.

She protected me all those years
and I just abandoned her.

I-I'm sure that all your mother
ever really wanted

was for you to be safe.

Who was keeping her safe?

Well, you were a kid.

There was nothing
that you could do about that.

I could've stayed.

Then you wouldn't
have lived the life

that you were supposed to live.

And I never would have met

the strongest woman
that I've ever known...

(sniffles) ...or
my amazing husband.

It's always about you.

(laughs)

Guess that's why I hold on
to Mikey so tight, you know.

I don't want
to abandon anyone ever again.

He knows you're
not going anywhere.

We've both come to
terms with that.

(sniffles)

(footsteps approaching)

What do you think?

I had no idea.

I thought
she was just born mean.

Did you get to the part where
she was hiding under the stairs,

clutching her corn husk doll?

Yeah, yeah.

It was very, very descriptive.

Excuse me.

Where are you going?

I'm gonna go hug my mom.