Mike & Molly (2010–2016): Season 4, Episode 12 - Mind Over Molly - full transcript

Dr. Rosen?

Oh, Ms. Flynn.
Please, come in.

Thank you.

I'm all nervous.

I never do that
therapy thing before.

Well, lucking for us,
I have.

Please, take a seat.

Is this a test?

If I sit on the left side
do I hate my mother,

and the right side I'm OCD?

It's more a question of comfort.



Okay. Well, the "I hate
my mother" chair

looks pretty comfortable.

Oh...

You know what?
Actually, it's not.

I'm just gonna...

I don't have OCD,
just for the record. Okay.

Just sit there.

You know what, I want to...

Right off the bat,
I just want to say that

I don't really
need to be here.

My husband was kind of,
you know,

into the whole
"you should try therapy,"

and my insurance is running out
and you're on my plan,

and, you know, I was just
getting my-my teeth cleaned



right around the...
you know, the...

if you kind of go left,
and-and I thought,

well, you're getting
your teeth cleaned,

maybe get your noggin cleaned.

So you didn't want to come?

Oh, no, no.
No, no, no.

I mean, I'm very, uh...

I'm very interested
in the process.

I'm curious, I'm a writer.

Oh. How long have you
been doing that?

Oh... gosh, six months.

Going on seven months.
Yeah.

An, uh, did you have a job
before becoming a writer?

Why do you want to know that?

Uh, just
background.

Oh, um...

Yes, I was
a teacher

for ten years,

and it was very fulfilling.

I-I would not trade

that time for anything.

Why'd you leave?
I couldn't breathe.

I mean, not-not like,
uh, literal, you know...

"I can't breathe!"

Just like, uh, like
a metaphorical suffocating,

like, "You're squeezing
the life out of me!"

Kind of like, uh...

I don't know, I would say
like a python killing a...

what is it, like...
a jack rabbit.

So you walked out.

I... jumped out of...

...a window.

Metaphori...
Literally.

Literally jumped, okay. Yeah.

That's
interesting.

Oh, you're really
writing that down.

Huh.
Well, you know, it's...

really it was kind of boring.

You know, it was...
it was not a big deal.

It was kind of
a little,

tiny little bit of a big deal
at the time...

Still writing, huh?

Yeah?
But, uh...

I've kind of done so many things

that have eclipsed that, so...

Could you be
a little more specific?

Let's see, if I had to...

You have to
come up with something.

Um...

I-I guess maybe
I've been drinking, you know,

a little... a little bit
more than usual.

I mean, not like getting drunk,

but just to kind of...

You know, just...
I guess get drunk. So...

But I don't want
to go into

all the circumstances,

'cause it's a big,
long-winded story,

but at the end you would say,
"Oh, that seems reasonable,"

but I may have punched
someone in a bar

and gotten her tooth
in my hand, here.

Again,
I think

if you heard the whole thing,
you would... you would say...

God, I'm tal...
I feel like I'm talking a lot.

I mean, it's just...

Even when I'm thinking
"stop talking,"

this is still going
and I'm still talking.

You're doing great.

Really? Okay. Mm-hmm.

Maybe you should tell
my husband that.

'Cause he was... he was the one

that was so into me doing
this therapy thing,

and really, he's the one that...
that needs to be here.

His mother...
I mean, she's controlling,

overbearing, manipulative...

I mean, she is a...
ooh, that's a piece of work.

So you don't get
along with her?

No, I do not.

I mean, we've almost gotten into
a physical fight before.

And then, I mean, that's not
even going into the whole thing

where I had fantasies about
murdering her. And I know...

I just
want to...

I want you
to know

that I know that that sounds...

that sounds... odd.

But if you... again, bird's-eye
view of that whole thing,

you'd say, "That's reasonable."
Uh-huh.

# La, la-ba-dee-da #

# La,
la-ba-dee-da #

# For the first time
in my life #

# I see love #

# I see love #

# For the first time
in my life #

# I see love #

Hey, there
she is.

Hey. What are you doing
with your mom's car?

Ah, she wanted me to
get her oil changed.

But if she asks you about
the extra miles on the odometer,

I did not pick you up.

So, how'd it go?

Good, good.

I'm cured.

Really?
That is such a relief.

I'm kidding.

So am I.

There's nothing to be cured of.

I mean, therapy's
an ongoing process.

It's not like a one-and-done
kind of thing.

Well, is it a three-and-done
kind of thing?

'Cause that's all that's
covered by the insurance.

You know, I-I gotta admit,

when I was first going in,
I was a little skeptical,

but after talking to Dr. Rosen,

it did feel a bit of
a burden was lifted.

That's great.
It is.

You should really
consider going.

Why? I'm not
the one who's...

Who's what?

Who's what,
huh?

...going through
something.

Really?

So all...
you just have

healthy relationships
across the board, huh? Yeah!

If they're not healthy,
I yank 'em out of my life

like a wild nose hair.

I was talking about
your mom, Mike.

Now that's not fair.

Nobody has a healthy
relationship with her.

She prides herself on that.

But you don't have to give
in to her manipulation.

I mean, she knows
you're in OA,

but she's constantly trying
to buy you off with food.

Case in point,
an oil change

for the pan of brownies
in the backseat.

Did you smell 'em,

or did the blanket
covering them shift?

Neither. I saw the ice scraper
has brownie on it.

Did you hear
about the camel?

Is this a joke?

I wish it was.

Apparently, the two-hump camel
is soon to be extinct.

We're gonna be livin' in
a one-hump camel world.

Huh?

Explain that
to your grandchildren.

That happened on our watch.

I didn't do anything.

Exactly.

Hey, speakin'
of things

that are ornery and spit...

how awful do you think
my mother is?

I mean, on a scale
of one to ten.

Is ten good or bad?

Bad.

Huh.

It only goes up to ten?

All right.

Look, look,

y-your mom might not be
the most nurturing,

but she's nothing compared
to a mama polar bear.

You know, something wrong
with her offspring,

she gonna eat that baby up.

Not gonna see that
in a Coke commercial.

Well, Molly thinks

I might benefit from
talking to somebody

about my relationship
with my mom.

What, like a therapist?
You don't need that.

That's what I thought.
'Cause you got me.

Wouldn't it be awkward

to say my problem

to my problem?

Besides, I'm just not
the therapy type.

I'm more of a "let it fester

until it kills me from
the inside" kind of guy.

You know what your trouble is?

You don't have any troubles.

What are you talkin' about?

In Africa,

we don't get in touch
with our feelings.

We're too busy trying to get
in touch with food and water.

I'm just saying,

when you wake up and see your
neighbor's head on a stick,

it puts everything
in perspective.

You know, you-you
actually might want

to talk to somebody
about that.

Probably.

Uh, did you get
a chance to fill out

the family questionnaire
I gave you last time?

Oh, yes, I did.

I have it
right here.

I might have gotten
a little carried away.

I, uh...

I took a psychology class
in college

and, yeah, so I took the liberty

of kind of making
some of my own conclusions.

But I-I, I did
ace that class.

Oh. But you'll see that.

Oh, yeah, there are
my transcripts.

You'll see
for yourself.

And then...
Oh!

Me in fourth grade.

Okay, I see quite a few sections
on your mother here.

Oh, yeah.

I know it's clich?,
but so is she.

You know, drinks too much,

more of a...
a friend than a mother,

more of a nudist
than a nurturer.

Mm-hmm.

I mean, don't get me wrong,
I love my mother.

I mean, yeah.
She-she-she just probably,

you know, shouldn't have...
been one.

Huh.

What "huh"?

Well, I'm not seeing much
on your father here.

Oh, well, 'cause he-he died
when I was ten.

So there's not much
to say about it.

Great guy, wonderful father...

end of story.

Pretty short story.

Well, I don't really remember
a lot about him.

I mean, not like in
a "blocking it out" kind of way.

Not like that.

No.

No.

What? I mean,
he was a-a fantastic father.

You know?
Took me to ball games

and the park, he doted on me.

Sorry to disappoint you,

but no Daddy issues here,
you know?

Move along, nothing to see.

Stare all you want.

It's not gonna...

not gonna change anything,
you know?

Great guy, died early,
leave it alone.

You know what? I don't have
to sit and listen to this.

You know, you want
to drag my mother's

name through the mud,
I'll sit here all day.

But I will not let you sully
my lovely father's memory.

Good day.

We still have 50 minutes.

Oh. I... I said good day!

Where the hell do you
get the set of balls

to tell your wife
she needs therapy?

I can't even
tell Joyce

she needs
a breath mint.

Well, her insurance is
gonna pay for it.

And in light of
recent events,

I didn't think
it could hurt.

I should say not.

As a matter of fact,
therapy saved my life.

You're kiddin'.

Y-You've been to a shrink?

Oh, yeah.

When my wife Bunny died,
I was a wreck.

For six months
I laid on that couch,

poured my heart out.

Wow.
In a million years

I'd never take you for
a guy who'd go to therapy.

There's a sensitive heart

beating under
this savage breast.

And my therapist was good.

Helped me through my grief.

Also figured out
why I'm so anally fixated.

All right,
nice talk.

Turns out, I used
to have trouble

making BMs
as a child.

I went to camp one summer

and didn't go for three weeks.

Yeah? What was
the name of it,

Camp Can't-do-caca?

Oh.

You think you're
the first one

to make that joke?

I heard 'em all.

Does a Vince crap in the woods?

No, he does not.

Okay, okay, I got it.

And from that summer on,

I couldn't flush
until my mom inspected it

and put a little star
in my doo-doo journal.

We're cooking food here.

To this day, every election

when I get
that little "I Voted" sticker,

I got to make a beeline
straight to the can.

So, sweetie, how was therapy?

Did you get to blame enough
stuff on your poor mother?

Oh, I had pages on you.

That idiot wouldn't even hear
any of it.

Did you tell the
therapist about the time

Mom left us in the car
to go to Oktoberfest?

No, that's good. I...

See, I blocked that.

So, when do you go back?

I don't. I quit.
I walked straight out of there.

You know,
some people just need to deal

with things on their own time.

It's not like everybody
needs therapy.

What?

Well, not everybody
needs therapy,

but... some people might.

What is that supposed to mean?
Nothing.

I'm just agreeing with...

half of what you said.

Well, it doesn't matter
what you think.

What's going on?

Molly wants to quit therapy.

And we're to scared
to tell her not to.

I'm not.

You're cracking up.

We been talking,
and we all agree

it's best for you to see someone

before they have to shock
the cuckoo out of you.

So you...

so you all agree?

So you've been talking about it
behind my back?

Well, we can't do
it to your face.

We love you.

You know what,
I don't need any of this.

Mol, where you going?

Away from them. You know,
crazy people shouldn't point...

crazy fingers!

Mol!
Mike,

let her go.
In a way, this is a blessing.

How so?
I miscounted the meatballs.

Now there's enough
for all of us.

This swing taken?

Well, I don't know.

Joshua's kind of carved
his name into it,

but I don't think
he's coming back tonight.

You okay?

I don't know.

Uh, therapy today wasn't
exactly what I expected.

Well, what was it like?

It was like Dr. Rosen
had an agenda,

which was getting in the way
of my agenda.

Well, you know me.

I'm all for quitting
something you don't like.

I mean, you
gave it more of a shot

than I did Brussels sprouts.

You were such a baby
about those Brussels sprouts.

If bacon can't save it,
nothing can.

I never even knew
this park was here.

Oh, yeah, I used to come here
all the time with my dad.

Is that right?
Yeah.

He kind of had a way of knowing
when I was having a bad day,

and he'd open up the door
and say, "Come on, peanut.

Let's go find some fun."

That's nice.

Yeah.

He used to stand at the bottom
of that slide,

arms wide open,

beer in one hand,
cigar in the other.

He'd just kind of stop me
with his foot.

The more I hear about him,
the more I like him.

Yeah.

Ah, geez, it's my mother.

I'm just glad she calls

and doesn't send
her flying monkeys.

Take note, I'm
pressing ignore.

Well, look at you.

Yeah, and I happen to know
she's making cobbler tonight.

Well, how about to celebrate
you setting some boundaries

we take a spin
on the merry-go-round?

I don't know...

but I get first turn!

First one there is a square!

I taught fourth grade.

I can go all day.

You know, that was fun.

If we go back in the daytime,

we won't have to share
a merry-go-round

with a crackhead.

I didn't see him.

I mean, until he fell off,
I did not see him.

Dr. Rosen?

Ms. Flynn, I'm sorry.

Do we have an appointment?

We don't, but...

I was kind of hoping...

I mean, I know I had some time
left over from the other day

when I stormed out,

and I was hoping maybe we could
pick up where we left off?

Um,

y-yes. Have a seat.

Yeah? Thank you.

Yeah.

Ooh, look at that.

I just chose a chair right away.

I think we're making progress.

Well, you would know.
You are the one

who aced that
intro to psychology course.

Okay, what's on your mind?

Well, um, I-I think

I'm ready to kind of
fill in some of those blanks.

About your father?

Yes. So,

what do you want to know?

Why don't you just talk?

Okay, um...

I mean,
I know there's something...

you know, there with...
between me and my dad.

I just...
I don't know what it is,

and every time I...

I think about him,
I have to stop,

'cause I just feel too much.

What do you feel?

Boy, you are nosy, huh?

Thank you.

I feel the usual.

I feel sad, I...

I miss him,
I feel guilty. I...

Guilty?

I guess.

Why guilty?

I hate that I'm so mad at him.

Why are you mad at him?

'Cause he left me, you know?

I mean, he was supposed
to be there for me,

and then he died, and...

he wasn't.

And, you know, at ten years old,
I had to step up

and be the responsible one
in the house.

Why did you feel
you had to take on that role?

Oh, I keep forgetting

you haven't met my mom
and my sister.

Uh...

Trust me, I had to...

grow up really fast,

and, you know,
do the right thing

and get good grades
and find a steady job and...

Sounds like you were busy.

By the time I looked up
from the laundry pile, I was 30.

So all this acting out

seems like you were...

making up for lost time?

Finally experiencing

the childhood
that you'd put on hold?

That's good.

I mean, that's...

that makes me sound
like less of a nut job.

Well, I can assure you,
Ms. Flynn,

you are not a nut job.

I'd love it if you could
write that down,

so I could show my family.

No, really, could you?

Oh, you really want
me to do that? Yeah.

You know all my craziness lately
is because of you, right?

What did I do?

Well, first of all,

your big mistake
was making me feel so safe.

Therapist said
I haven't had stability

like that since my dad.

'Cause of that, I was...
I can try new things

and been able
to kind of take risks

I haven't done
since I was younger.

So, if I was no-good,
hard-drinking loser,

you'd still be a teacher?

Of course.
What other choice would I have?

I don't know how I
feel about all this.

You should feel great.

Here, open that
while I fire up this stogie.

Your dad sure did
like cheap beer.

Wait till you taste
the cheap cigar.

So, the therapist
recommended this?

Sort of.

He said he wanted me
to find a way to forgive my dad

and say good-bye to him
in a real way.

Cheap beer and
cheaper cigars?

He liked what he liked.

Okay, raise them up.

To you, Dad.

I miss you.

I miss your laugh.

I miss the way your...

aftershave smells.

I miss holding your hand.

Most of all,

I miss that you weren't able
to walk me down the aisle

when I married
the love of my life.

It's nice to
meet you, sir.

Don't worry.

I'm gonna take
real good care of her.

I'm glad you're here with me.

Me, too.

Switch.

Oh... oh, yes, yes, yes.

You know, now that we've gotten
me all straightened out,

we may need to take a peek
under your hood.

Come on.

Let me just finish your dad's
crappy cigar in peace.

All right, but you can't live
in denial forever.

Watch me.

So, uh,

why'd you want to see me?

Oh, I think it's helpful

to have the spouse involved

in the healing process.

Great.
Anything I can do to help.

All right, well,
why don't you

tell me something
about yourself?

Okay, well, uh, I'm
a police officer.

I am happily married.

Oh, geez.

Is it your mom again?

Yeah, but I'm not
gonna take it.

Does your mother call often?
All the time.

She won't leave me alone.

I mean, I know
I'm her only son,

and I'm all she's got left
in this world,

so that responsibility
falls on me,

and it's a lot.

I mean, I'm just one man.

I don't know
how much more I can take.

I mean,
nothing's ever good enough.

She just takes and takes
and takes!

There's no end to it!

It's never gonna stop!

Can I have some
tissues, please?

See,
I told you. I told you.