Mike & Molly (2010–2016): Season 4, Episode 11 - Dips & Salsa - full transcript
Mike asks Carl to replace him as Molly's dance partner at a salsa class, but gets jealous when he realizes they're having way too much fun.
Oh.
I'm glad I stretched.
Welcome to Salsa
for Beginners.
I ask you to relax,
be loose and enjoy.
Let me demonstrate.
Can we go?
We haven't even
danced yet.
Come on, I think I wrenched
my knee getting out of the car.
You said it was
your left knee.
I can have two bad knees.
And a bad attitude.
You said you were excited
about this salsa class.
'Cause I thought it was
a different kind of salsa.
The salsa is a whole body dance.
The music is the soul
that triggers the spirit
of the dancing.
Follow me.
Oh.
Yeah, I'm just
letting you know right now,
my body does not do that.
As you step forward,
turn your hip
as if your foot is
squishing a bug.
Oh.
Then together,
then back.
Squish the bug! (laughs)
Come on, squish the bug.
There you go.
I got to admit,
the killing-roaches thing
really made it make sense.
The rhythm is
in the body,
but the passion
is in the hips.
She's got a lot
of passion.
I can't stop staring.
It's oddly hypnotizing.
♪ La, la-ba-dee-da
♪ La,
la-ba-dee-da ♪
♪ For the first time
in my life ♪
♪ I see love
♪ I see love ♪
♪ For the first time
in my life ♪
♪ I see love
Ooh, at the end
of ten classes,
we get personalized
castanets.
Ten? I thought that stupid
gift certificate was for one.
That thoughtful
gift certificate was for ten,
and it would be rude
if we didn't do 'em all.
It was from your mother
and Vince.
I'm fine with rude.
Mike.
Come on. I did it once,
because I love you.
And you're not gonna
make me do it again,
because you love me.
We never do fun stuff together.
And tonight
changed nothing.
Oh, I'm sorry that dancing
with your wife is such torture.
Hey, don't take
it personal.
I would have hated that
with anyone.
Come on. I loved that class, and
I don't want to do by myself.
For me?
Oh, come on, that's not fair.
How am I supposed
to say no to that?
You can't.
Yeah.
You know, I think dance lessons
will be good for you.
Get you more in tune
with your body.
Why do you think
wide receivers take ballet?
'Cause their wives make 'em?
No.
Because they want to learn
how to point their toes
so they can get two feet
in the end zone.
Think about what it'll do
for your police work.
How is me salsa dancing
going to help catch crooks?
I would imagine
a criminal pointing and laughing
is easier to apprehend.
Why don't you tell your wife
you don't want
to take the lessons?
Why don't you tell yours?
I don't have one.
Exactly.
What are you complaining about?
Salsa dancing is a blast.
Sexy music, short skirts,
very erotic.
Yeah, me and grandmother...
we took lessons together
for years.
Well, that is not creepy at all.
It kept me on the straight
and narrow.
Instead of getting mixed up
in drugs,
I was addicted to the
intoxicating rhythms
of música Latina.
Ay! Ooh!
(plays rhythmically on cup)
No más.
You know, uh, you really seem
to love this stuff.
Mm.
I don't suppose that you'd like
to take a refresher course
with Molly?
You want me to go dancing with
the woman who shares your bed?
Well, no, not
when you put it like that.
But yeah.
All right.
I'm game if Molly is.
Are you kidding?
She'll be thrilled.
Before I came along,
she used to do all sorts
of fun stuff with gay guys.
Well, then, great.
Did you not hear
what he just said?
(salsa music playing)
Yes.
(giggles)
Aw, thanks for coming with me.
I know this was the last thing
Mike wanted to do.
No, no, no, no.
He-He-He... He-He...
Yeah, he didn't want to come. Yeah.
I'd much rather be here
with someone
who's enjoying themselves.
He kept trying
to set off the fire alarm
by twirling me into it.
(laughs) Hey, so, what's the story
with Esmerelda over there?
She and Mambo
Number Five an item?
MOLLY:
I don't know.
I think they're actually
brother and sister.
Sadly, I don't think
that answers my question.
Now I will show you
an open break
into a turn-in dip.
Oh.
Can I have a volunteer
to try this
with Esmerelda?
I got this, Cocoon.
Now, look, I'm a
little rusty at this,
but I'm gonna try
and limp through.
(laughs)
(upbeat salsa music plays)
I'm gonna show your brother
how this is done.
(upbeat salsa music
continues playing)
That... that's my partner.
My partner.
Get ready.
We're next.
VICTORIA:
Okay.
I'm out of here.
Don't wait up.
Where are you
going, sweetie?
Dinner, movie,
bar, dance club,
after-hours club,
after-party,
house party, Denny's.
Be careful. That Denny's
can get rough.
I know, but I got to eat
something before I go to work.
I am so glad
that I am not single,
and I don't have
to do any of that anymore.
Are you kidding me? You
never did any of that stuff.
I've been to Denny's.
I can't believe
you're just sitting here
while your wife is out
dancing with another man.
It's not a man. It's Carl.
I don't care who it is.
We gave you the dancing lessons
for Christmas
to get you both
out of the house.
I told you, the only way
to get this load off the
couch was with hockey tickets.
We could have got
hockey tickets?
Oh. Hey.
Hey. Where you been?
It's almost midnight.
Oh, well, after our lesson,
a bunch of us went out to a club
to practice our salsa moves.
More dancing.
Boy, I did dodge a bullet.
I don't know. I think we were
all just having so much fun,
we didn't want it to end.
And I'll tell you, those guys
might be in their 70s,
but they got brand-new hips.
Well, I am glad
that you had fun,
and even more glad
I didn't have to go.
Yeah, I mean,
I missed you,
but it was really fun getting
to know Carl a little better.
Seriously?
Yeah.
I mean, he's a really
interesting guy.
Do you know he's saving up money
to go to India?
India?
Yeah.
Sure he didn't say "Indiana"?
'Cause that's where he goes
to buy his fireworks.
I'm sure.
Carl's a very spiritual guy.
Do you know he meditates
for 20 minutes every day.
That's stupid.
Wonder why
he never told me that.
Yeah, I can't imagine
why he doesn't tell you stuff.
He tells me stuff.
I'll bet you didn't know
he still has a baby tooth.
Ooh, is it the one
that's cold-sensitive?
I know, and he can only drink
from his left side.
(laughs)
Well, I'll bet you didn't know
he was an amateur magician.
I didn't.
(laughs)
Or did I?
He showed you that?!
Yeah.
He said he could never tell me
because it was
in the magician's code.
There's a certain level of trust
between dance partners.
We have to have it.
It's complicated.
I'm going to hit the showers.
I heard you really tore it up
on the dance floor last night.
Oh, well, I don't mean to
blow my own horn, but...
(fake-trumpets
"La Cucaracha")
So, what's the deal with going
to a club afterwards?
Oh, yeah, that
was Molly's idea.
She took us to this
hot little Cuban joint.
Man, I bought her
a caipirinha and a cigar,
she was like a little
hip-shaking Fidel Castro.
Molly doesn't like cigars.
Really? She smoked that
one down to the label.
(chuckles) And I love
the story she was telling
about fighting
the baby bull in Mexico.
What?
Her college trip.
With her a cappella group.
She sings cappella?
Like an angel.
We're thinking about going to
karaoke after the movie. Who?
Me and Molly.
When?
Tonight.
What movie?
400 Blows.
Some old French film. Why?
'Cause it's playing
at the revival house.
How is this the first time
I'm hearing about this?
Molly said you wouldn't want to go.
I don't.
Then what's your problem?
I don't know!
You know, you could have asked
me to go to the movie with you.
I did, a month ago,
and you said you'd rather
be eaten by wild dogs.
I didn't say that.
But it does sound like
something I would say.
If I said it.
Which I didn't.
All right.
Well, don't wait up.
Well, how long's
the movie gonna be?
I don't know... couple of hours.
And then we'll probably
grab dinner afterwards.
You know, to discuss it.
What's to discuss?
A movie either stinks
or it doesn't.
Thumbs up, thumbs down,
get in the car, go home.
Can we talk about this later?
'Cause I don't
want to make Carl late.
He is so punctual.
I know what he is.
I've known him a lot longer
than you have.
Okay, clearly you
do have a problem with me
going to this movie with Carl.
No, I don't.
You sure?
Don't be ridiculous.
Okay, so I'm gonna go
and you're gonna be fine?
Absolutely.
All right.
What are you doing?
I'm going with you.
Ooh. Wow.
They did a beautiful
restoration on this place.
Mm-hmm. Sure wasn't this nice
when it was a porno theater.
And you know
that how?
Oh, I busted it a few times
when I worked Vice. Oh.
Should have seen
all the perverts scatter.
It's a strange sound, hearing
50 zippers go up at once.
(laughs)
You never worked Vice.
Don't embarrass me in
front of your wife. Aw...
You know, I did some
reading up on this film.
It's part of the Neorealism school.
Mm-hmm?
That means "new real."
You know, Kurosawa said
it was his favorite film.
Did he, now?
Yup.
You don't know who that is.
I know he's Japanese
and he liked this movie.
He's Japanese, right?
(chuckles):
Yeah.
Yeah, he's one of Japan's
finest filmmakers. Mm.
Is he the Godzilla guy?
Yeah, he's the Godzilla guy.
Well, now, he knows
what he's doing.
Maybe this won't be
such a slow roast in hell.
(whispers): I'm sorry.
He invited himself.
♪
Black and white? Aw.
This better change in the middle
like in The Wizard of Oz.
Shh.
And subtitles, too?
Ugh. It's like
seeing a boring movie
and reading a horrible book
at the same time.
Shh.
400 Blows.
They got half that title right.
Shh.
I'm a cop
and I smell the pot.
Do not shush me,
Willie Nelson.
Mike, unless you can
sit here like a grown-up
and not complain constantly,
go wait in the lobby.
You'd like that.
Yeah, we all would.
I'll be in the lobby.
You have any quarters? They
got a Ms. Pac-Man out there.
Okay, all right.
(sighs) Well, that
was very enjoyable.
Oh, I'm so glad
you liked it.
Truffaut's a genius.
I mean... two hours
you're just transported
to Paris in the '50s.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, great.
What's for dinner?
Sushi.
(blows raspberry)
How about pizza?
Carl and I already
decided on sushi.
Really, is that
what you want, Carl?
A slimy squirt
of tuna on rice?
Hey, I will go wherever
the two of you decide.
Great. Carl wants pizza.
He didn't say that.
Just go to the sushi place.
Don't let her bully you, Carl.
Stick to the plan, Carl.
I'm your partner, Carl.
Dance with the one
who brung you, Carl.
Do the right thing, Carl.
Be a man, Carl.
I can't believe
he dumped us.
I can.
Well, that evening was a bust.
At least I taped
the Bulls game.
Are you serious?
Oh, yeah. I made sure
not to look online
or pass any televisions.
I didn't even talk
to people wearing red.
Be like getting two and a half
hours of my life back.
Oh, must be a big game.
Yeah.
Yeah. Tough opponent?
Oh, yeah, the Pacers.
Oh, man.
'Cause the Bulls win by three.
Aah!
What are you doing?
You ruined the game for me.
Oh, did I?
Ugh. I'm sorry.
That's real mature.
I'm mature... Really?
Okay, why did you
even come tonight?
I don't know.
I do.
I think you're jealous
of me and Carl.
I'm not jealous-jealous.
I'm just uncomfortable with
you sharing stuff with Carl
and doing stuff that I can't.
It's not that you can't;
It's that you won't.
Or... you don't.
I went to that
dance class with you,
and I didn't want to do that.
Yeah, I know, because
you complained all night.
That's why it was more
fun to go with Carl.
I'm sorry, I can't
dance like Carl.
Well, nobody can.
He's amazing.
Okay, that's...
that's not the point.
The point is that I...
I would've preferred
to be dancing
with you all night.
Why? I suck.
Well, so do I.
That's the fun of it.
Sucking together.
Move.
You know how great it
would've been if you...
just would have tried
the salsa classes with me
or sat through
that boring movie?
So you admit it was boring.
Of course it was boring.
It was an old,
pretentious French movie.
Then we could have gone
and hated it together,
then come home and made
fun of it together.
I didn't know
that was an option.
'Cause you
didn't even try.
Which is all I ask.
Okay.
I get it.
I need to try more stuff
that you love
so we can hate it together.
(laughing):
No, not...
Not just what I like...
We can... we can hate
what you love, too.
Really?
'Cause there's someplace
I've always wanted to take you,
but I didn't think
you'd like it.
Really? Where?
Well, I...
Oh, God, no, wait.
Don't tell me.
Okay, tell me.
Oh, okay. We have...
Okay, no, no, no.
Keep it... Keep it
like a surprise.
No. J-Just say it,
just say it.
I... okay. Oh.
No, don't, no, don't. (giggles)
Like... Okay, go.
Okay. All right!
Don't do it!
(laughs)
This is awesome.
Why did you think
I would hate this?
Because you don't like guns.
I don't.
But I love shooting them.
We should get bigger guns.
Slow down, Annie Oakley.
We'll get there. We got
our entire lives ahead of us.
Yeah, I love you, too.
Lock and load.
(whoops)
(salsa music plays)
(giggles)
(whispers): You are so
getting lucky tonight.
Shh. I'm trying to count.
You're adorable
when you try to count.
Squish, yeah.
(laughs)
Squish, yeah.
Oh.
You don't think
Carl's gonna be upset
that he's not taking me
to class anymore, right?
I think he'll
be all right.
Wait, what squish was I on?
(laughs)
Uh-huh.
Yeah. See, now, you taught
me something about salsa.
I'm gonna teach you a little
something about cinema.
They call this
French Neorealism.
That means "new real."
What time did your brother
say you had to be home?
Shh.
I'm glad I stretched.
Welcome to Salsa
for Beginners.
I ask you to relax,
be loose and enjoy.
Let me demonstrate.
Can we go?
We haven't even
danced yet.
Come on, I think I wrenched
my knee getting out of the car.
You said it was
your left knee.
I can have two bad knees.
And a bad attitude.
You said you were excited
about this salsa class.
'Cause I thought it was
a different kind of salsa.
The salsa is a whole body dance.
The music is the soul
that triggers the spirit
of the dancing.
Follow me.
Oh.
Yeah, I'm just
letting you know right now,
my body does not do that.
As you step forward,
turn your hip
as if your foot is
squishing a bug.
Oh.
Then together,
then back.
Squish the bug! (laughs)
Come on, squish the bug.
There you go.
I got to admit,
the killing-roaches thing
really made it make sense.
The rhythm is
in the body,
but the passion
is in the hips.
She's got a lot
of passion.
I can't stop staring.
It's oddly hypnotizing.
♪ La, la-ba-dee-da
♪ La,
la-ba-dee-da ♪
♪ For the first time
in my life ♪
♪ I see love
♪ I see love ♪
♪ For the first time
in my life ♪
♪ I see love
Ooh, at the end
of ten classes,
we get personalized
castanets.
Ten? I thought that stupid
gift certificate was for one.
That thoughtful
gift certificate was for ten,
and it would be rude
if we didn't do 'em all.
It was from your mother
and Vince.
I'm fine with rude.
Mike.
Come on. I did it once,
because I love you.
And you're not gonna
make me do it again,
because you love me.
We never do fun stuff together.
And tonight
changed nothing.
Oh, I'm sorry that dancing
with your wife is such torture.
Hey, don't take
it personal.
I would have hated that
with anyone.
Come on. I loved that class, and
I don't want to do by myself.
For me?
Oh, come on, that's not fair.
How am I supposed
to say no to that?
You can't.
Yeah.
You know, I think dance lessons
will be good for you.
Get you more in tune
with your body.
Why do you think
wide receivers take ballet?
'Cause their wives make 'em?
No.
Because they want to learn
how to point their toes
so they can get two feet
in the end zone.
Think about what it'll do
for your police work.
How is me salsa dancing
going to help catch crooks?
I would imagine
a criminal pointing and laughing
is easier to apprehend.
Why don't you tell your wife
you don't want
to take the lessons?
Why don't you tell yours?
I don't have one.
Exactly.
What are you complaining about?
Salsa dancing is a blast.
Sexy music, short skirts,
very erotic.
Yeah, me and grandmother...
we took lessons together
for years.
Well, that is not creepy at all.
It kept me on the straight
and narrow.
Instead of getting mixed up
in drugs,
I was addicted to the
intoxicating rhythms
of música Latina.
Ay! Ooh!
(plays rhythmically on cup)
No más.
You know, uh, you really seem
to love this stuff.
Mm.
I don't suppose that you'd like
to take a refresher course
with Molly?
You want me to go dancing with
the woman who shares your bed?
Well, no, not
when you put it like that.
But yeah.
All right.
I'm game if Molly is.
Are you kidding?
She'll be thrilled.
Before I came along,
she used to do all sorts
of fun stuff with gay guys.
Well, then, great.
Did you not hear
what he just said?
(salsa music playing)
Yes.
(giggles)
Aw, thanks for coming with me.
I know this was the last thing
Mike wanted to do.
No, no, no, no.
He-He-He... He-He...
Yeah, he didn't want to come. Yeah.
I'd much rather be here
with someone
who's enjoying themselves.
He kept trying
to set off the fire alarm
by twirling me into it.
(laughs) Hey, so, what's the story
with Esmerelda over there?
She and Mambo
Number Five an item?
MOLLY:
I don't know.
I think they're actually
brother and sister.
Sadly, I don't think
that answers my question.
Now I will show you
an open break
into a turn-in dip.
Oh.
Can I have a volunteer
to try this
with Esmerelda?
I got this, Cocoon.
Now, look, I'm a
little rusty at this,
but I'm gonna try
and limp through.
(laughs)
(upbeat salsa music plays)
I'm gonna show your brother
how this is done.
(upbeat salsa music
continues playing)
That... that's my partner.
My partner.
Get ready.
We're next.
VICTORIA:
Okay.
I'm out of here.
Don't wait up.
Where are you
going, sweetie?
Dinner, movie,
bar, dance club,
after-hours club,
after-party,
house party, Denny's.
Be careful. That Denny's
can get rough.
I know, but I got to eat
something before I go to work.
I am so glad
that I am not single,
and I don't have
to do any of that anymore.
Are you kidding me? You
never did any of that stuff.
I've been to Denny's.
I can't believe
you're just sitting here
while your wife is out
dancing with another man.
It's not a man. It's Carl.
I don't care who it is.
We gave you the dancing lessons
for Christmas
to get you both
out of the house.
I told you, the only way
to get this load off the
couch was with hockey tickets.
We could have got
hockey tickets?
Oh. Hey.
Hey. Where you been?
It's almost midnight.
Oh, well, after our lesson,
a bunch of us went out to a club
to practice our salsa moves.
More dancing.
Boy, I did dodge a bullet.
I don't know. I think we were
all just having so much fun,
we didn't want it to end.
And I'll tell you, those guys
might be in their 70s,
but they got brand-new hips.
Well, I am glad
that you had fun,
and even more glad
I didn't have to go.
Yeah, I mean,
I missed you,
but it was really fun getting
to know Carl a little better.
Seriously?
Yeah.
I mean, he's a really
interesting guy.
Do you know he's saving up money
to go to India?
India?
Yeah.
Sure he didn't say "Indiana"?
'Cause that's where he goes
to buy his fireworks.
I'm sure.
Carl's a very spiritual guy.
Do you know he meditates
for 20 minutes every day.
That's stupid.
Wonder why
he never told me that.
Yeah, I can't imagine
why he doesn't tell you stuff.
He tells me stuff.
I'll bet you didn't know
he still has a baby tooth.
Ooh, is it the one
that's cold-sensitive?
I know, and he can only drink
from his left side.
(laughs)
Well, I'll bet you didn't know
he was an amateur magician.
I didn't.
(laughs)
Or did I?
He showed you that?!
Yeah.
He said he could never tell me
because it was
in the magician's code.
There's a certain level of trust
between dance partners.
We have to have it.
It's complicated.
I'm going to hit the showers.
I heard you really tore it up
on the dance floor last night.
Oh, well, I don't mean to
blow my own horn, but...
(fake-trumpets
"La Cucaracha")
So, what's the deal with going
to a club afterwards?
Oh, yeah, that
was Molly's idea.
She took us to this
hot little Cuban joint.
Man, I bought her
a caipirinha and a cigar,
she was like a little
hip-shaking Fidel Castro.
Molly doesn't like cigars.
Really? She smoked that
one down to the label.
(chuckles) And I love
the story she was telling
about fighting
the baby bull in Mexico.
What?
Her college trip.
With her a cappella group.
She sings cappella?
Like an angel.
We're thinking about going to
karaoke after the movie. Who?
Me and Molly.
When?
Tonight.
What movie?
400 Blows.
Some old French film. Why?
'Cause it's playing
at the revival house.
How is this the first time
I'm hearing about this?
Molly said you wouldn't want to go.
I don't.
Then what's your problem?
I don't know!
You know, you could have asked
me to go to the movie with you.
I did, a month ago,
and you said you'd rather
be eaten by wild dogs.
I didn't say that.
But it does sound like
something I would say.
If I said it.
Which I didn't.
All right.
Well, don't wait up.
Well, how long's
the movie gonna be?
I don't know... couple of hours.
And then we'll probably
grab dinner afterwards.
You know, to discuss it.
What's to discuss?
A movie either stinks
or it doesn't.
Thumbs up, thumbs down,
get in the car, go home.
Can we talk about this later?
'Cause I don't
want to make Carl late.
He is so punctual.
I know what he is.
I've known him a lot longer
than you have.
Okay, clearly you
do have a problem with me
going to this movie with Carl.
No, I don't.
You sure?
Don't be ridiculous.
Okay, so I'm gonna go
and you're gonna be fine?
Absolutely.
All right.
What are you doing?
I'm going with you.
Ooh. Wow.
They did a beautiful
restoration on this place.
Mm-hmm. Sure wasn't this nice
when it was a porno theater.
And you know
that how?
Oh, I busted it a few times
when I worked Vice. Oh.
Should have seen
all the perverts scatter.
It's a strange sound, hearing
50 zippers go up at once.
(laughs)
You never worked Vice.
Don't embarrass me in
front of your wife. Aw...
You know, I did some
reading up on this film.
It's part of the Neorealism school.
Mm-hmm?
That means "new real."
You know, Kurosawa said
it was his favorite film.
Did he, now?
Yup.
You don't know who that is.
I know he's Japanese
and he liked this movie.
He's Japanese, right?
(chuckles):
Yeah.
Yeah, he's one of Japan's
finest filmmakers. Mm.
Is he the Godzilla guy?
Yeah, he's the Godzilla guy.
Well, now, he knows
what he's doing.
Maybe this won't be
such a slow roast in hell.
(whispers): I'm sorry.
He invited himself.
♪
Black and white? Aw.
This better change in the middle
like in The Wizard of Oz.
Shh.
And subtitles, too?
Ugh. It's like
seeing a boring movie
and reading a horrible book
at the same time.
Shh.
400 Blows.
They got half that title right.
Shh.
I'm a cop
and I smell the pot.
Do not shush me,
Willie Nelson.
Mike, unless you can
sit here like a grown-up
and not complain constantly,
go wait in the lobby.
You'd like that.
Yeah, we all would.
I'll be in the lobby.
You have any quarters? They
got a Ms. Pac-Man out there.
Okay, all right.
(sighs) Well, that
was very enjoyable.
Oh, I'm so glad
you liked it.
Truffaut's a genius.
I mean... two hours
you're just transported
to Paris in the '50s.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, great.
What's for dinner?
Sushi.
(blows raspberry)
How about pizza?
Carl and I already
decided on sushi.
Really, is that
what you want, Carl?
A slimy squirt
of tuna on rice?
Hey, I will go wherever
the two of you decide.
Great. Carl wants pizza.
He didn't say that.
Just go to the sushi place.
Don't let her bully you, Carl.
Stick to the plan, Carl.
I'm your partner, Carl.
Dance with the one
who brung you, Carl.
Do the right thing, Carl.
Be a man, Carl.
I can't believe
he dumped us.
I can.
Well, that evening was a bust.
At least I taped
the Bulls game.
Are you serious?
Oh, yeah. I made sure
not to look online
or pass any televisions.
I didn't even talk
to people wearing red.
Be like getting two and a half
hours of my life back.
Oh, must be a big game.
Yeah.
Yeah. Tough opponent?
Oh, yeah, the Pacers.
Oh, man.
'Cause the Bulls win by three.
Aah!
What are you doing?
You ruined the game for me.
Oh, did I?
Ugh. I'm sorry.
That's real mature.
I'm mature... Really?
Okay, why did you
even come tonight?
I don't know.
I do.
I think you're jealous
of me and Carl.
I'm not jealous-jealous.
I'm just uncomfortable with
you sharing stuff with Carl
and doing stuff that I can't.
It's not that you can't;
It's that you won't.
Or... you don't.
I went to that
dance class with you,
and I didn't want to do that.
Yeah, I know, because
you complained all night.
That's why it was more
fun to go with Carl.
I'm sorry, I can't
dance like Carl.
Well, nobody can.
He's amazing.
Okay, that's...
that's not the point.
The point is that I...
I would've preferred
to be dancing
with you all night.
Why? I suck.
Well, so do I.
That's the fun of it.
Sucking together.
Move.
You know how great it
would've been if you...
just would have tried
the salsa classes with me
or sat through
that boring movie?
So you admit it was boring.
Of course it was boring.
It was an old,
pretentious French movie.
Then we could have gone
and hated it together,
then come home and made
fun of it together.
I didn't know
that was an option.
'Cause you
didn't even try.
Which is all I ask.
Okay.
I get it.
I need to try more stuff
that you love
so we can hate it together.
(laughing):
No, not...
Not just what I like...
We can... we can hate
what you love, too.
Really?
'Cause there's someplace
I've always wanted to take you,
but I didn't think
you'd like it.
Really? Where?
Well, I...
Oh, God, no, wait.
Don't tell me.
Okay, tell me.
Oh, okay. We have...
Okay, no, no, no.
Keep it... Keep it
like a surprise.
No. J-Just say it,
just say it.
I... okay. Oh.
No, don't, no, don't. (giggles)
Like... Okay, go.
Okay. All right!
Don't do it!
(laughs)
This is awesome.
Why did you think
I would hate this?
Because you don't like guns.
I don't.
But I love shooting them.
We should get bigger guns.
Slow down, Annie Oakley.
We'll get there. We got
our entire lives ahead of us.
Yeah, I love you, too.
Lock and load.
(whoops)
(salsa music plays)
(giggles)
(whispers): You are so
getting lucky tonight.
Shh. I'm trying to count.
You're adorable
when you try to count.
Squish, yeah.
(laughs)
Squish, yeah.
Oh.
You don't think
Carl's gonna be upset
that he's not taking me
to class anymore, right?
I think he'll
be all right.
Wait, what squish was I on?
(laughs)
Uh-huh.
Yeah. See, now, you taught
me something about salsa.
I'm gonna teach you a little
something about cinema.
They call this
French Neorealism.
That means "new real."
What time did your brother
say you had to be home?
Shh.