Mike & Molly (2010–2016): Season 4, Episode 1 - Molly Unleashed - full transcript

All right, people,
this test is called

the "Standardized City-Wide
Academic Review."

Which the Chicago
Board of Education,

in its infinite wisdom,

has dubbed "The SCAR."

Not to put too much
pressure on you,

but this is
the first exam of many

that will determine...

well, whether you win
or lose at life.

I mean, not that acing it

is any guarantee, because...



well, you know, I...

I crushed this thing
when I was your age.

I crushed it.

But I pretty
much crushed

whatever they put
in front of me:

A.C.T.s,

S.A.T.s,

G.R.E.s.

Not sure what I have
to show for it.

Maybe S.Q.U.A.T.

Squat.

I mean, I still drive
a beat up old car

and live in my mom's basement,

and I'm suffocating
under a mountain of debt.



Sometimes, there are mornings

I wake up and I just think,

"Why are you even gonna
get out of bed?"

The bed which
I'm still making payments on,

by the way.

Okay...

Let's, uh, pick up our pencils.

You have one hour
to complete this test...

(timer ticking)

...and begin.

(exhales)

You know what?
I'm just gonna

stop you for one second.

Um, do you ever just kind of

stand back and look at your life

and think, "This is not
where I ought to be"?

You know?
Or...

just think, "Do I have
the courage to change?

"Or am I gonna just keep

"doing this over and over

and over again until you die?"

You know, or you die,

or you're...
you're gonna die, too.

We're all gonna die.

'Cause you'll...
you guys only have fourth grade once.

I have...

I have all this

for 30 more years.

Okay.

Listen up,
'cause this might be

the best lesson
I ever teach you.

Okay, don't settle!

Follow your dreams...

wherever they may take you!

Kids... can somebody
please hand me my purse?

And my bag.

MIKE:
Molly!

Mol, what the hell
are you doing?

I'm following my dream!

The school called and said you just
kind of left.

Had to.

My dream's
that away!

Well, okay.
Get in the car

and let us take you that away.
No, thanks.

Having kind of
a baptism thing here.

Stop the car.

Aw...

There's a big puddle here.

Back up.

Seriously?

Well, at least you didn't get
your feet wet, Princess.

Oh, how's she doing?

She's worn out,
the poor thing.

Yeah, I feel
for her.

I am not paying for that door.

That's not my priority
right now, Carl.

But for the record,
I said, "Back up,"

not, "Hit the hydrant."

This is just so weird.

I have never seen Molly
act like this.

Mom, maybe you
should tell him.

Tell me what?

Nothing.

We shouldn't jump
to conclusions.

Joyce,
what's going on?

Ah, boy... I don't
know how to say it.

Well, just say it.

There's a history of mental
illness in our family.

Wow.

Nothing
real bad.

Just barking,
eating your own hair...

...holding an imaginary baby.

Wow.

Well, hang on, now.

Let's-let's not go
to crazy so fast.

I mean, all she did

was flip out in front of
a bunch of nine-year-olds,

climb out a window

and walk six miles in the rain.

Wow.

Mol?

Yeah?

You okay?

Been better.

I made you some soup.

Is it turkey noodle?

Yeah, but you gotta come out

if you're gonna eat it.

There she is.

There you go, honey.

Thanks.

Sorry about
your car door.

Oh, it's all right.

It's not
the first time.

So, uh...

you want to tell me
what happened today?

(sighs)

I'm not sure.
You know?

I just...
started feeling

overwhelmed by
everything and...

I don't know,
leaving just seemed

like the right
thing to do.

Through the window?

You know, anybody can
leave through a door.

(sighs)

True.

Uh, the-the school called.

They're a little curious
about your intentions.

I get that.

I'm a little
curious, too.

Well...

whatever you need,

just know...
I'm here for you.

(choked up):
Thanks for being so understanding.

Hey, you're my wife.

I love you.

Thanks.

(sniffs)

(sighs)

Hang on,
let me just...

There you go.

Oh, I hope that's
soup I'm tasting.

I haven't
had any yet.

Yeah.

Don't worry.

I've been a union
rep for years.

I've gotten
teachers off

for doing a whole lot
worse than you did.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

Horrible,
horrible things.

Keep you up
at night.

And they're still
teaching the little ones.

To be honest,

I-I don't have a very good
excuse for what I did.

You don't need
a good excuse.

You're in a union.

Showtime.

Mr. Wisney, would you
like to begin?

Ladies and gentlemen
of the board,

I'm not gonna
waste your time

by rehashing
the so-called "incident"

that may or may not have
occurred with Ms. Flynn.

But what I will
discuss, though,

is a woman who has
been a model teacher

for ten long years.

A decade.

A third
of her life.

Year after year,
day after day,

for low pay

and even less respect,

this noble woman

gave up her dreams

to give the children
of Chicago theirs.

I don't want to teach anymore.
Shh.

No, I just... I don't want to do it.
No, y-y-you...

you don't...
you don't have to.

Just show up,
play 'em a movie

and cash your check.

You're in a union.

WILLIAMS:
Mr. Wisney?

Sorry, sir.

As I was saying,
Ms. Flynn represents

all that is right
with our school system.

Really?

I jumped out a window.

Sure, she's feisty
and outspoken.

But do you know what else is?

America.

All right,
all right.

I can't... I can't listen
to any more of this.

Just park it.

Okay, the...

kids of Chicago
deserve teachers

that care about them, who...

who want to be there for them.

And that...

that may have been me
at one point,

but it's not me now.

I... something's changed in me,

something's broken,

or maybe something's fixed,
I don't know.

But I know that
I can't do this one more day.

You realize,
Ms. Flynn,

if you quit you'll
lose your pension,

your health care
and all your benefits.

Really?

Is that true?

(sighs)

No. No, no, no, no.
You know what?

It's benefits that
suckered me into this

in the first place.

No, I am...
I am out of here.

I just have to get my purse.

Just-just...

Why does your squad car
have an orange door?

That's police business,
none of your concern.

SAMUEL:
Fine.

How's your wife doing?

Have her marbles been located?

You told him?

We're roommates.

We share what goes
on in our lives.

And he knows what
happened to the car door.

Then why'd you ask?

It's a funny story.

I wanted to hear
your version of it.

My wife's doin' fine.

Thanks for your concern.

(phone ringing)

In fact, that's
probably her

telling me that
she's back to work.

Hey, sweetie.
How'd it go?

Yeah, my benefits
are pretty good, why?

Here you go,
big guy.

Thanks.

My heart goes
out to you.

I appreciate it.
Yeah.

My cousin Petey put his
crazy wife in a home.

Just outside of
Columbus, Ohio.

Which is ideal
for your situation,

because if Molly breaks out,

she can't get to you on foot.

Nobody's crazy,

and nobody's going in a home.

Yet.

She's just working
some things out.

Hey, I'm not
judging.

If anything,
I'm jealous.

Of what?

It's a well-known fact

that mentally unstable women

are wildcats
in between the sheets.

You, my friend, will be

the grateful beneficiary
of said madness.

Oh...

See you later.

Whoa, whoa, uh...

Where-where you going?

Just out for a drink.
Okay, well,

hang on a second,
let me put on my shoes.

Oh, no, sweetie, you stay here.

For the kind of dark, ugly
drinking I'm gonna do tonight

I need the company of some
hardcore booze bags.

We're ready!

Let's go before my afternoon
buzz wears off.

(door closes)

You should limber up
before she comes home.

No, you know what
the real problem is...

is that I'm just so angry.

At Mike?
No.

- At me?
- No, why would I be angry at you?

Never mind.

No, the one I'm really
mad at is me.

Why?

You're such
a nice person.

No, I'm not nice.

I'm a phony

and-and a fraud.

I didn't become a teacher
because it was my passion.

I did it because it was safe

and I was too scared
to go after my real dream.

Oh, that just
breaks my heart.

Honey, what is it you
really wanted to do?

Yeah.
Forget it.

- It doesn't matter now.
- Don't say that.

What is your dream?

Come on. We're family.
Yes.

- You can tell us anything.
- No, you're just gonna laugh.

No.
No.

Whatever it is,
we support you 100%.

Musical theater.

Well, that's just
ridiculous.

(knocking at door)

Hey, this is
a surprise.

I brought you some
tuna noodle casserole

from the school
cafeteria.

Aw, you didn't
have to do that.

You're my son.
I love you.

Where's the Nutty
Professor?

Ah, geez.

Does everybody
at the school know?

Gossip is the fuel
that heats that place.

I even saw the Deaf kids
signing about it.

Well, don't worry,
she's-she's doing good.

Really?

I don't speak Deaf,

but I know this
means "crazy."

Come on, let's go
heat this up.

The truth is,
I have no idea

what's going on
with Molly.

Well, I don't want
to throw salt on the wound,

but if you two
ever have kids,

you should know you got loony

on your dad's side, too.

For the last time,
she's not loony.

She's just going
through something.

Welcome to marriage.

People change.

They get old, they get grumpy,

they get ugly
as a monkey's butt.

But you stay.

And you know why?

Because you promised
Jesus to stick it out.

(microwave beeping)

Just remember,

marriage is not for
the faint of heart.

I'll never understand

why the gays
want it so bad.

But who knows?

Maybe they'll fix it up

like they do a sketchy
neighborhood.

♪ A boy like that
who'd kill your brother ♪

♪ Forget that boy
and find another ♪

♪ One of your own kind ♪

♪ Stick to your own kind. ♪

(laughing)

See?

It just feels good to sing.

Oh...

Well, honey, if that's what
you really want to do,

we support you.

Yeah, even if you
have no talent.

Oh, thank you for saying that,
that's so sweet...

Oh!

Excuse me.

(laughing)

You know what the best part

of all of this is?

Is just kind of getting back
with you guys, you know?

Oh...
Just... guh, locking in,

and with Mike and work
and, you know,

trying to have a baby,
I just...

forgot about my two...

(clicks tongue)

...best friends.

Aw...
Aw...

We were always
there for you.

Yeah, all you had
to do was knock.

Oh, I am!
I'm knocking now!

- Who's there?
- It's me...

Who is there?
Whoa!

Hey.

Do you have a problem?

You mean besides the loud drunks
at the next table?

I'm sorry, we didn't hear them.

We were singing.

(laughing)

Boy, this one's drunk,
loud and stupid.

Hey.

You better watch
your mouth, Sasquatch.

All right.

Okay, take...
take it easy, Mom.

Oh, this is
your mom?

Well, how did that
come out of that?

Say that again

and I'll kick you in the balls.
Okay.

All right, all right.

All right, I think you
just need to... to back off.

Oh, what you
gonna do, Stumpy?

Fight me?

No.

I'm not gonna
fight you.

And I have a very
good reason...

I have three of them.

Number one...

Run! Run...

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Ow, ah...

Ow.

Hey.
Hey...

Thought I heard
you up here.

Hey there,
hi there.

What happened
to your hand?

Oh, I just, you know,
took a little spill.

Scraped
my knuckles.

Let me see.

Oh, it's...
not a...

it's not a...
Let me see.

Oh, sweetie,
it's all bruised.

What is that,
a tooth?

No.

No, it's a...
it's a pebble.

You drink a lot,
you fall a lot...

like you do.

My poor wife.

You're having a hell
of a time, aren't you?

It hasn't been
the best couple of days.

And I...
ow...

...owe you
an apology.

For what?

So many things.

Quitting my job
without talking to you.

Making you live here and
put up with my family.

Keeping secret
credit cards.

What?
Just...

let me finish.

Most of all,
for not being able

to give you the baby
I know you wanted so much.

Hey.

I don't want you
to worry about that.

That baby'll come whenever
it's supposed to come.

And if it doesn't,

we'll deal with it.

Really?

Yeah.

The important
thing is that

no matter what's
going on around us,

we stay tight.

Stay connected.

Yeah, of course.

And be honest
with each other,

no matter what.

Yeah, goes
without saying.

Good.

Now, uh,

I'm gonna give you
one more try.

Explain to me
why this pebble

has a gold filling.

You know, there's
something so freeing

about knowing
that my whole future is wide open.

Uh-huh.
I don't ever have to make sacrifices.

I can feel free
to pursue my dream

to sing and dance
on Broadway,

or, you know, I can
get going on that book

I've been meaning
to write.

Or maybe I'll just
open my own business

and get filthy rich.

I like that third one.

It's just time
management, really.

Are you gonna be okay

with me making
more money than you?

You did when
you were a teacher.

(laughs)

You know the first
thing I'm gonna buy

is a new car for you.

Sure.
Like a sports car?

Oh, God, no.

You'd look like Fred Flintstone
in a sports car.

Will you be insulted
if I buy myself

a bigger
engagement ring?

Have at it.
Okay.

I mean, I'm gonna
keep the old one.

You know, maybe make it
into a necklace, or...

oh, maybe like a...
a diamond stud earring.

(clicks tongue)
For you.

Good night.

All right.

Oh, boy.

(sighs)

Oh, God,
what have I done?

Come here.

Oh, my God,
why did I...

quit my job, and...

give up all
my benefits, and...

God, I probably
need a tetanus shot

from that
woman's tooth.

I know,
sweetie, I know.

We're gonna be fine.

(wails)

(wails)