Metalocalypse (2006–2013): Season 3, Episode 3 - DethHealth - full transcript
After a near-death experience during one of Dethklok's typically life-threatening concert venues, the band becomes extremely concerned about their own mortality. They reluctantly agree to visit a doctor, and experience that bears potentially disturbing news for Pickles and leads Murderface to question his own sexuality. Thinking he is terminally ill, Pickles tries to cram as much substance abuse into his final days as possible, as Nathan befriends his suicidal dentist.
We're here in
Egypt, at the Great SphinX of
Giza, where Dethklok is
showing us a side of metal that
we haven't seen before.
They're giving a concert
in support of the health
and care of househoId pets.
NATHANh
Most of you know
that dogs have balls.
We just found out that
cats have balls, too.
And we all know balls make more
pets, right?
So tonight we support
taking away balls from living
animals.
Let the ball removal begin.
# #
# #
# #
# #
# #
# #
[dog barks, cat shrieks]
[Shrieking]
# #
# #
# #
[music stops]
Holy shit!
We almost died.
# Doodily ding dong
tick-tock #
# Doodily ding dong
tick-tock #
# Doodily ding dong
tick-tock #
# Doodily ding dong
tick-tock #
# Doodily ding dong
tick-tock #
# Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok!
Dethklok! #
# I'II... teach you...
to... rock... #
# Dethklok, Dethklok #
# Skwisgaar Skwigelf,
taller than a tree #
# Toki Wartooth,
not a bumblebee #
# William Murderface
Murderface Murderface #
# Pickles the drummer
doodily doo #
ding dong doodily
doodily doo #
# Nathan EXplosion #
# #
We almost fuckin' died out there.
Yeah, but guys the thing is
that you are safe now.
And that's the important thing.
Moving on...
yeah but we almost did.
I wanna speak on behalf
of the band, right guys?
We talked about this.
And I want to put it out there
and say, we can't die.
Alright?
Guys, you aren't gonna die.
You'll be fine.
Stop saying "die."
Use a different word.
Yeah, yeah use a different
phrase like...
Something like, uhh,
something that's good.
Instead of death, like uhh...
Hamburger time.
Hamburger time.
Perfect.
Say "hamburger time."
Hamburgers time.
Hamburger time, alright?
Well as Iong as you guys are
all worried about,
"hamburger time," uh, maybe
it'd help out a little bit if
you guys all went to the doctor,
just got a check up.
Uh yeah, I'd like to pass on that.
Uhhh, I don't know...
I'm busy's.
Hey Iook, my uncle had a big
huge thing growing on his neck.
And fine.
Then he goes to the doctor.
Cancer.
Bing bang boom!
Hair out, hamburger time.
Listen, you guys are going
to a doctor, alright?
And Nathan you gotta go
to a dentist to get
your teeth worked on.
oh no, no, no, no, no.
Guys listen,
you're closer
to death if you
don't see a doctor.
Hamburger time!
Please use the word,
"hamburger time"
when speaking to us.
You're closer to "hamburger time"
if you don't see a doctor.
Thank you.
Do you have a cat
in your lap?
Hey I gots a cat in my lap.
It's really cooI cat.
You have a cat now.
Yeah, he's gots
a little bits of a cough.
Is there anything I can do
to get you guys to the doctor?
If ok, if we go to
the doctor, then give us
a week to kind of prepare.
Let us go to like an island
somewhere and you know, like
drink wheatgrass.
Yeah, organic food.
Then you'll check us out
and find out we're healthy
'cause we've been
taking it easy so well.
Alright guys that's fine.
Take a vacation.
Take a weekend, dry out.
Enjoy yourselves that's fine
with me.
Good.
Then we're doing it.
# #
[all yelling]
[Laughing]
# #
Well by the Iook and smell of
you guys, you uh binge drank
and did drugs the entire time
didn't you?
Uhhhh whoops.
I'm going to need you to fill
these cups.
It's a urine test.
You want our urine?
That's fuckin' sick.
You're a sick doctor.
Nathan, why you acting
all weird?
I just keep thinking about
going to the dentist
and I don't like it at all.
I've never liked going to
the dentist.
Dentist's are weird people.
You know that they have
the highest suicide rate
of any profession?
Dude, that's pretty
fuck'd up.
I know!
They're fuckin' with your
mouth, and your teeth are right
neXt to your brain.
I mean, if they start fuckin'
with your teeth and then
it starts going into your brain,
if your tooth rots,
then your brain rots,
then you die.
Hamburger time!
Hamburger time!
What about doctors?
Doctors are worse.
They're the weird ones.
They wanna check you for like
hernias and stuff and then they
start jacking you off.
That's what they do.
That's weird.
You got a hernia.
Let me feel your balls.
Think!
I just don't want some guy
with no reason to live
fuckin' with my mouth.
You know what I mean?
Why cant's it be like
a lady's boob whats
cleans your teeth?
Haha usually...
usually you have really
bad ideas, but that...
that's a billion doIlar idea.
Cleaning your teeth
with tits.
Dudes we partied too hard
so now our bodies are
in terrible shape.
So, we got to trick the doctor
by making it seem like we're
in really good shape.
And there is only one way
to do that... bleach.
Here drink this, Murderface.
Uhh, maybe this ams a stupid
question, but whys dont's we
just pours bleach into ours
cups of urines?
No!
Drink the bleach.
Bleach is healthy.
It's mostly water.
And we're mostly water.
Therefore, we are bleach.
Anyway, enough talking.
Let's start drinking.
Murderface, you go first.
Just a little bit,
just a little drop.
okie dokey!
There you go.
oh! Ah!
Ah, that burns!
Keep it down.
Keep it down, bro.
Keep it down.
[Retching]
oh.
oh god!
oh, that was awful!
[Panting]
Who's neXt?
Me. I'll go.
# #
# [muffled] #
# #
Arghhhh!
Mr. EXplosion, you're neXt.
Won't you come on in,
take a seat?
Uh, eh, you know,
I'd like to stand right here.
I don't think I'm ready to go
beyond this uh, point, uh.
oh, I get it.
You don't want to be around me.
What if we just took things
slow and, you know, you just
gave me, like, a cup
of mouth wash or something.
# #
Try not to think about a guy
touching your dick.
Just try not to think about
a guy touching your dick.
I know, just pretend
it's a chick.
Pretend it's a chick
touching your dick, that's all.
Yeah, yeah, that's better.
A really hot chick.
Yeah, that's it.
Hello. Just relaX.
Um, wait,
stop moving your hand!
No, no, no!
Wait, wait! oh god.
oohhhhhhhh!!
oh, no!
[Moaning]
Yeaaaaaaah!!!!!
Bad dick! Bad penis!
Fuckin' stupid gay dick!
He's a dude!
okay, you can put your pants
back on.
CFoh
Well guys it's time to
get the results of your
medical tests.
I'm sure there is no problem.
Dude I'm not worried at all.
We're totally healthy.
Because we drank that bleach
right guys?
Yes, the result of every test
will be positive.
Well that's great to hear,
guys.
oh! Here comes the doctor.
So I have your results.
Pickles, you're dying.
Gentlemen, we have a major
crisis on our hands.
It appears Dethklok's drummer,
Pickles, is dying
from a rare illness.
And unfortunately, we don't
have the ability to cure him.
Pickles dying is potentially
a seismic event in the Dethklok
world.
I agree, General Crozier.
It could have
a significant economic and
socioIogic impact.
So here to eXplain more is
specialist on celebrity death,
Dr Ninmiltrid Fmiltindryden.
Gentlemen, Pickles is not
dead yet.
But when he does die, we have
taken the precaution of making
a pre-recorded
post-celebrity death video
to controI rioting throughout
the world.
NARRAToRh
He was known to the
world as Pickles the Drummer.
His thunderous and punishing
drum beats brought joy
to millions...
most people knew Pickles as
the most famous drummer alive,
but few knew
the warm and gentle side.
But at some point, every party
has to end.
Now he's rocking the afterlife
afterparty, doing double-kicks
and blast beats with God.
We'll see you soon, Pickles.
Rock on forever.
I just can't wrap my mind
around the fact that I'm dying.
You know?
Ham- hamburger time.
Pickles this is very
difficult to do, but we have
to start getting your
affairs in order.
Alright, uh,
let's go over the coffin.
You wanted a mahogany lid
with a birch shell?
Yeah.
Uh, mini bar inside?
Yeah.
Gas-powered with a throttle
so you can... let me see
what you wrote here,
"ride to hell in style"?
You still want all of this?
Yeah.
Pickles, that sounds like
a really cooI coffin.
I'd likes to haves a coffins
likes that too.
I want a coffin like that
too.
Can I makes a suggestions?
That yous has a quarter-inch
outs and Xlr outs
'cause you can never know
if it needs both sometimes.
I just think it would be cooI
if we had this... that sounds
like a really cooI... Pickles,
that sounds like a really
cooI coffin.
Hey Pickles I got
a great idea.
Why don't you pick your own
replacement in the band?
Too early?
I just wish I had more time.
Can someone get some
sandwiches or something?
Hey, I just want to say
something right now, uh, about
how this is all affecting me.
Ummm,
life is short.
And I realize that now.
So, I'm going to go to
the dentist and take care
of myself so I can live Ionger.
Hey, well alright.
A little piece of advice here,
do not let them give you gas,
those weird suicidal
motherfuckers, 'cause
they'll start fuckin' with you.
They gas you and then they
take your ding dong out and
start playing with it.
Then they fuckin'
commit suicide and then you die
with your dick hanging out.
Is that what you want?!
Guys listen!
I'm dying, alright?
And I don't have the time to do
the things that I Iove doing
anymore... like taking drugs!
If I could leave you
with any wisdom
it'd be black out more
during the times
that you are alive,
so that you don't remember
the life that you have.
There.
[Glass shatters]
Whoaaa.
Well there's that but, uh,
guys, I got to direct this back
to me for a second, okay?
Whoopee!
A doctor jacked me off
in his face and the more
I think about it,
the less okay I am with it.
You know what I'm saying?
Whoaaaa.
I got to go make this right.
I got to go make this right!
Hey, make things right with
this doctor.
Chill out, read magazines.
Make everything, just got to
make it right.
Got to make it right.
He's a doctor.
What am I worried about?
oh try not to think about a guy
touching your dick.
Just try not to think about
a guy touching your dick.
Just pretend it's a chick.
Yeah.
Stupid dick!
Stupid gay dick!
I'm gay!
I'm gay!
Ahh!
Here comes the gas.
You know the gas takes
all the pain away.
Gas takes pain away.
Gas takes pain away.
Uhhh.
oh nurse, I won't be uh,
making my appointments
tomorrow.
It's uh, well it's all
in this note.
It eXplains everything.
This, this Iong note.
Well, ready for gas,
Mr. EXplosion?
Uhhh.
Alright.
Gas.
Gas means that your wiener's
played with by a suicidal
weirdo.
Gas means you're gay.
Dude!
Who cares if he plays with
your dick?
You'll totally be out.
Take the gas!
No gas!
- Take the gas!
- No gas!
- Take the gas!
- No gas!
Take the gas!
Here comes the gas.
Uh, actually you know, uh,
I'm probably not gonna do it,
you know?
I think it's best if I stay
alert.
You know, keep an eye on you.
Make sure you don't do anything,
uh, drastic.
[Pencil scribbling]
Hey, hey uh doc?
EXcuse me?
I got to be honest with ya.
I've been uh, I've been feeling
kind of weird since that day
I came in your face.
oh I'm sorry.
There must be a terrible
misunderstanding.
You know I think you
jacked me off on purpose.
Why on earth would I do
something like...
that?
After all I'm a...
married man.
oh, uh, ew,
wait a minute.
I'm having a gay crisis
and you're just sitting...
you're... you're flirting
with me!
You're flirting with me!
That means that
you're a gay doctor!
That means I'm not gay!
You're gay!
You're gay!
Alright you sick piece
of shit!
oh glory!
Alright man!
okay.
If you're sure no gas,
let's get started.
Go ahead and uh, you know
bring it on.
[Drill whirring]
I do not like that sound.
Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!
Ahhhhhhhhh!!!
Whoaaaa!
[Phone rings]
[Ring!]
Whooopeee!
[Ring!]
Weeeee!!!
oooohhh!!
Pickles?
Yeeeahhh!
Pickles?
Pickles?
Pickles?
ohhhhhh.
Pickles, I've got some very
important news for you and I...
Yay!
Pickles I'd like you to
return to Mordhaus
as soon as possible.
I've got some very important
news for you.
That's all.
Alright guys we just got some
tests back from the lab and uh,
Pickles, you're not dying.
oh I'm not dying?
There's something wrong with
your urine. What happened?
Uh oh!
I switched my pee with
Murderface!
That's not my pee.
I switched with Skwisgaar!
It's not me.
I switched mine with Nathan!
Well it's not me.
I switched mine with Toki!
I switched my pee with my
cat's pees, and he's right...
oh my god! oh my god!
oh my god! He's dead!
Ah! oh no!!
The cat is
the bestest friend I ever had!
# Goodbyes
my sweet little friends #
# You will be missed #
# I Ioves you so #
# I Ioves the way
your furs felt on my face #
# You made me happy #
# Let's go #
# [techno music] #
# You brought some Iove
in my life #
# You know you made me feel fine
# made me feel fine #
# I dig your kitty design #
# You know you kept me in line #
# And then you left us behind #
# Now I'm alive #
# You know it never was me
because I poisoned my pee #
# And now I'm finally free #
# And now I've got so much time
so I can drink and get high #
# No more hamburger time #
# No more hamburger time #
# And I got anesthetized #
# And my dentist friend is fine
# We hang out, he wants to live
# Not commit no hamburger time #
# No, no #
# I jacked off on
a doctor's face #
# I jacked off on
a doctor's face #
# He jacked off on
a doctor's face #
# He jacked off on
a doctor's face # #
# I jacked off on
a doctor's face #
# I jacked off on
a doctor's face #
# He jacks off,
he jacks off #
# He jacks off,
oh yeah #
Hey man, I gotta tell ya,
it's one of the coolest hunting
trips I've ever been on.
Yeah, I'm really glad we've
become pals, Mr. Explosion.
Check this out.
Egypt, at the Great SphinX of
Giza, where Dethklok is
showing us a side of metal that
we haven't seen before.
They're giving a concert
in support of the health
and care of househoId pets.
NATHANh
Most of you know
that dogs have balls.
We just found out that
cats have balls, too.
And we all know balls make more
pets, right?
So tonight we support
taking away balls from living
animals.
Let the ball removal begin.
# #
# #
# #
# #
# #
# #
[dog barks, cat shrieks]
[Shrieking]
# #
# #
# #
[music stops]
Holy shit!
We almost died.
# Doodily ding dong
tick-tock #
# Doodily ding dong
tick-tock #
# Doodily ding dong
tick-tock #
# Doodily ding dong
tick-tock #
# Doodily ding dong
tick-tock #
# Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok!
Dethklok! #
# I'II... teach you...
to... rock... #
# Dethklok, Dethklok #
# Skwisgaar Skwigelf,
taller than a tree #
# Toki Wartooth,
not a bumblebee #
# William Murderface
Murderface Murderface #
# Pickles the drummer
doodily doo #
ding dong doodily
doodily doo #
# Nathan EXplosion #
# #
We almost fuckin' died out there.
Yeah, but guys the thing is
that you are safe now.
And that's the important thing.
Moving on...
yeah but we almost did.
I wanna speak on behalf
of the band, right guys?
We talked about this.
And I want to put it out there
and say, we can't die.
Alright?
Guys, you aren't gonna die.
You'll be fine.
Stop saying "die."
Use a different word.
Yeah, yeah use a different
phrase like...
Something like, uhh,
something that's good.
Instead of death, like uhh...
Hamburger time.
Hamburger time.
Perfect.
Say "hamburger time."
Hamburgers time.
Hamburger time, alright?
Well as Iong as you guys are
all worried about,
"hamburger time," uh, maybe
it'd help out a little bit if
you guys all went to the doctor,
just got a check up.
Uh yeah, I'd like to pass on that.
Uhhh, I don't know...
I'm busy's.
Hey Iook, my uncle had a big
huge thing growing on his neck.
And fine.
Then he goes to the doctor.
Cancer.
Bing bang boom!
Hair out, hamburger time.
Listen, you guys are going
to a doctor, alright?
And Nathan you gotta go
to a dentist to get
your teeth worked on.
oh no, no, no, no, no.
Guys listen,
you're closer
to death if you
don't see a doctor.
Hamburger time!
Please use the word,
"hamburger time"
when speaking to us.
You're closer to "hamburger time"
if you don't see a doctor.
Thank you.
Do you have a cat
in your lap?
Hey I gots a cat in my lap.
It's really cooI cat.
You have a cat now.
Yeah, he's gots
a little bits of a cough.
Is there anything I can do
to get you guys to the doctor?
If ok, if we go to
the doctor, then give us
a week to kind of prepare.
Let us go to like an island
somewhere and you know, like
drink wheatgrass.
Yeah, organic food.
Then you'll check us out
and find out we're healthy
'cause we've been
taking it easy so well.
Alright guys that's fine.
Take a vacation.
Take a weekend, dry out.
Enjoy yourselves that's fine
with me.
Good.
Then we're doing it.
# #
[all yelling]
[Laughing]
# #
Well by the Iook and smell of
you guys, you uh binge drank
and did drugs the entire time
didn't you?
Uhhhh whoops.
I'm going to need you to fill
these cups.
It's a urine test.
You want our urine?
That's fuckin' sick.
You're a sick doctor.
Nathan, why you acting
all weird?
I just keep thinking about
going to the dentist
and I don't like it at all.
I've never liked going to
the dentist.
Dentist's are weird people.
You know that they have
the highest suicide rate
of any profession?
Dude, that's pretty
fuck'd up.
I know!
They're fuckin' with your
mouth, and your teeth are right
neXt to your brain.
I mean, if they start fuckin'
with your teeth and then
it starts going into your brain,
if your tooth rots,
then your brain rots,
then you die.
Hamburger time!
Hamburger time!
What about doctors?
Doctors are worse.
They're the weird ones.
They wanna check you for like
hernias and stuff and then they
start jacking you off.
That's what they do.
That's weird.
You got a hernia.
Let me feel your balls.
Think!
I just don't want some guy
with no reason to live
fuckin' with my mouth.
You know what I mean?
Why cant's it be like
a lady's boob whats
cleans your teeth?
Haha usually...
usually you have really
bad ideas, but that...
that's a billion doIlar idea.
Cleaning your teeth
with tits.
Dudes we partied too hard
so now our bodies are
in terrible shape.
So, we got to trick the doctor
by making it seem like we're
in really good shape.
And there is only one way
to do that... bleach.
Here drink this, Murderface.
Uhh, maybe this ams a stupid
question, but whys dont's we
just pours bleach into ours
cups of urines?
No!
Drink the bleach.
Bleach is healthy.
It's mostly water.
And we're mostly water.
Therefore, we are bleach.
Anyway, enough talking.
Let's start drinking.
Murderface, you go first.
Just a little bit,
just a little drop.
okie dokey!
There you go.
oh! Ah!
Ah, that burns!
Keep it down.
Keep it down, bro.
Keep it down.
[Retching]
oh.
oh god!
oh, that was awful!
[Panting]
Who's neXt?
Me. I'll go.
# #
# [muffled] #
# #
Arghhhh!
Mr. EXplosion, you're neXt.
Won't you come on in,
take a seat?
Uh, eh, you know,
I'd like to stand right here.
I don't think I'm ready to go
beyond this uh, point, uh.
oh, I get it.
You don't want to be around me.
What if we just took things
slow and, you know, you just
gave me, like, a cup
of mouth wash or something.
# #
Try not to think about a guy
touching your dick.
Just try not to think about
a guy touching your dick.
I know, just pretend
it's a chick.
Pretend it's a chick
touching your dick, that's all.
Yeah, yeah, that's better.
A really hot chick.
Yeah, that's it.
Hello. Just relaX.
Um, wait,
stop moving your hand!
No, no, no!
Wait, wait! oh god.
oohhhhhhhh!!
oh, no!
[Moaning]
Yeaaaaaaah!!!!!
Bad dick! Bad penis!
Fuckin' stupid gay dick!
He's a dude!
okay, you can put your pants
back on.
CFoh
Well guys it's time to
get the results of your
medical tests.
I'm sure there is no problem.
Dude I'm not worried at all.
We're totally healthy.
Because we drank that bleach
right guys?
Yes, the result of every test
will be positive.
Well that's great to hear,
guys.
oh! Here comes the doctor.
So I have your results.
Pickles, you're dying.
Gentlemen, we have a major
crisis on our hands.
It appears Dethklok's drummer,
Pickles, is dying
from a rare illness.
And unfortunately, we don't
have the ability to cure him.
Pickles dying is potentially
a seismic event in the Dethklok
world.
I agree, General Crozier.
It could have
a significant economic and
socioIogic impact.
So here to eXplain more is
specialist on celebrity death,
Dr Ninmiltrid Fmiltindryden.
Gentlemen, Pickles is not
dead yet.
But when he does die, we have
taken the precaution of making
a pre-recorded
post-celebrity death video
to controI rioting throughout
the world.
NARRAToRh
He was known to the
world as Pickles the Drummer.
His thunderous and punishing
drum beats brought joy
to millions...
most people knew Pickles as
the most famous drummer alive,
but few knew
the warm and gentle side.
But at some point, every party
has to end.
Now he's rocking the afterlife
afterparty, doing double-kicks
and blast beats with God.
We'll see you soon, Pickles.
Rock on forever.
I just can't wrap my mind
around the fact that I'm dying.
You know?
Ham- hamburger time.
Pickles this is very
difficult to do, but we have
to start getting your
affairs in order.
Alright, uh,
let's go over the coffin.
You wanted a mahogany lid
with a birch shell?
Yeah.
Uh, mini bar inside?
Yeah.
Gas-powered with a throttle
so you can... let me see
what you wrote here,
"ride to hell in style"?
You still want all of this?
Yeah.
Pickles, that sounds like
a really cooI coffin.
I'd likes to haves a coffins
likes that too.
I want a coffin like that
too.
Can I makes a suggestions?
That yous has a quarter-inch
outs and Xlr outs
'cause you can never know
if it needs both sometimes.
I just think it would be cooI
if we had this... that sounds
like a really cooI... Pickles,
that sounds like a really
cooI coffin.
Hey Pickles I got
a great idea.
Why don't you pick your own
replacement in the band?
Too early?
I just wish I had more time.
Can someone get some
sandwiches or something?
Hey, I just want to say
something right now, uh, about
how this is all affecting me.
Ummm,
life is short.
And I realize that now.
So, I'm going to go to
the dentist and take care
of myself so I can live Ionger.
Hey, well alright.
A little piece of advice here,
do not let them give you gas,
those weird suicidal
motherfuckers, 'cause
they'll start fuckin' with you.
They gas you and then they
take your ding dong out and
start playing with it.
Then they fuckin'
commit suicide and then you die
with your dick hanging out.
Is that what you want?!
Guys listen!
I'm dying, alright?
And I don't have the time to do
the things that I Iove doing
anymore... like taking drugs!
If I could leave you
with any wisdom
it'd be black out more
during the times
that you are alive,
so that you don't remember
the life that you have.
There.
[Glass shatters]
Whoaaa.
Well there's that but, uh,
guys, I got to direct this back
to me for a second, okay?
Whoopee!
A doctor jacked me off
in his face and the more
I think about it,
the less okay I am with it.
You know what I'm saying?
Whoaaaa.
I got to go make this right.
I got to go make this right!
Hey, make things right with
this doctor.
Chill out, read magazines.
Make everything, just got to
make it right.
Got to make it right.
He's a doctor.
What am I worried about?
oh try not to think about a guy
touching your dick.
Just try not to think about
a guy touching your dick.
Just pretend it's a chick.
Yeah.
Stupid dick!
Stupid gay dick!
I'm gay!
I'm gay!
Ahh!
Here comes the gas.
You know the gas takes
all the pain away.
Gas takes pain away.
Gas takes pain away.
Uhhh.
oh nurse, I won't be uh,
making my appointments
tomorrow.
It's uh, well it's all
in this note.
It eXplains everything.
This, this Iong note.
Well, ready for gas,
Mr. EXplosion?
Uhhh.
Alright.
Gas.
Gas means that your wiener's
played with by a suicidal
weirdo.
Gas means you're gay.
Dude!
Who cares if he plays with
your dick?
You'll totally be out.
Take the gas!
No gas!
- Take the gas!
- No gas!
- Take the gas!
- No gas!
Take the gas!
Here comes the gas.
Uh, actually you know, uh,
I'm probably not gonna do it,
you know?
I think it's best if I stay
alert.
You know, keep an eye on you.
Make sure you don't do anything,
uh, drastic.
[Pencil scribbling]
Hey, hey uh doc?
EXcuse me?
I got to be honest with ya.
I've been uh, I've been feeling
kind of weird since that day
I came in your face.
oh I'm sorry.
There must be a terrible
misunderstanding.
You know I think you
jacked me off on purpose.
Why on earth would I do
something like...
that?
After all I'm a...
married man.
oh, uh, ew,
wait a minute.
I'm having a gay crisis
and you're just sitting...
you're... you're flirting
with me!
You're flirting with me!
That means that
you're a gay doctor!
That means I'm not gay!
You're gay!
You're gay!
Alright you sick piece
of shit!
oh glory!
Alright man!
okay.
If you're sure no gas,
let's get started.
Go ahead and uh, you know
bring it on.
[Drill whirring]
I do not like that sound.
Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!
Ahhhhhhhhh!!!
Whoaaaa!
[Phone rings]
[Ring!]
Whooopeee!
[Ring!]
Weeeee!!!
oooohhh!!
Pickles?
Yeeeahhh!
Pickles?
Pickles?
Pickles?
ohhhhhh.
Pickles, I've got some very
important news for you and I...
Yay!
Pickles I'd like you to
return to Mordhaus
as soon as possible.
I've got some very important
news for you.
That's all.
Alright guys we just got some
tests back from the lab and uh,
Pickles, you're not dying.
oh I'm not dying?
There's something wrong with
your urine. What happened?
Uh oh!
I switched my pee with
Murderface!
That's not my pee.
I switched with Skwisgaar!
It's not me.
I switched mine with Nathan!
Well it's not me.
I switched mine with Toki!
I switched my pee with my
cat's pees, and he's right...
oh my god! oh my god!
oh my god! He's dead!
Ah! oh no!!
The cat is
the bestest friend I ever had!
# Goodbyes
my sweet little friends #
# You will be missed #
# I Ioves you so #
# I Ioves the way
your furs felt on my face #
# You made me happy #
# Let's go #
# [techno music] #
# You brought some Iove
in my life #
# You know you made me feel fine
# made me feel fine #
# I dig your kitty design #
# You know you kept me in line #
# And then you left us behind #
# Now I'm alive #
# You know it never was me
because I poisoned my pee #
# And now I'm finally free #
# And now I've got so much time
so I can drink and get high #
# No more hamburger time #
# No more hamburger time #
# And I got anesthetized #
# And my dentist friend is fine
# We hang out, he wants to live
# Not commit no hamburger time #
# No, no #
# I jacked off on
a doctor's face #
# I jacked off on
a doctor's face #
# He jacked off on
a doctor's face #
# He jacked off on
a doctor's face # #
# I jacked off on
a doctor's face #
# I jacked off on
a doctor's face #
# He jacks off,
he jacks off #
# He jacks off,
oh yeah #
Hey man, I gotta tell ya,
it's one of the coolest hunting
trips I've ever been on.
Yeah, I'm really glad we've
become pals, Mr. Explosion.
Check this out.