Men of a Certain Age (2009–2011): Season 2, Episode 2 - Same as the Old Boss - full transcript
Play it again. Play it again.
Mom, I don't know what to do.
Everything I make is so boring.
Honey...I'm hungry.
Oh, no. No.
Hush, hush.
this is too good.
Microwave? Try it.
Here we go, here we go.
Delicioso! Arriba! Arriba!
Ha ha!
Ahh!
Come on, give it to me. Give it to me.
You got moves.
Okay. Okay, that's -- no, no, no, wait.
Wait, wait, wait. But wait, there's more.
Well, mom, you were right.
But now our dinners are a
little too exciting.
Arigato-o-o!
"arigato"? That's japanese.
Yeah, yeah. We weren't so pc
back in the '80s, you know?
Where'd you guys even, uh -- even get that?
And how do I get rid of it?
What? Get rid of it?
You got almost a million views,
kid. Strong work.
What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, look.
Check out the comments.
"I heard the mariachi guy sells cars
"at thoreau chevrolet in the valley
And I, I, I, I just got a great deal."
Who the hell wrote that?
Couldn't tell you.
♪ when I grow up to be a man ♪
♪ will I dig the same things
that turn me on as a kid? ♪
♪ will I look back and say ♪
♪ that I wish I hadn't done what I did? ♪
♪ will I joke around ♪
♪ and still dig those sounds ♪
♪ will I still joke around ♪
♪ when I grow up to be a man?
and still dig those sounds ♪
This thing rings all day,
And I got 20 messages before
even getting out of bed.
It's unbelievable.
Everybody's just trying to make a
good impression on the new boss.
More like testing the new boss
To see what they can get away with.
Well, I tell you what --
Why don't I go into the office
and whip everybody into shape
And you can spend the afternoon
with the mommies
Planning the fall party for michael's class?
I do plan a hell of a party.
you haven't planned a
party with these mommies.
Oh.
Hey, don't forget, you have the
boys' football practice tonight.
Uh, right.
Uh, can you please have them dressed
and ready to go before I get here?
I'm coming straight from work,
And all those pads and crap are a nightmare.
Of course. Eh...
"thank you. You're the greatest."
You're the new guy. New guy gets shit.
That's how it is.
Yeah, especially when
they find the new guy's
Really shitty old commercial. Oh, yeah.
Hey, I can laugh at myself
just as well as the next guy,
But the 500th time
That a guy walks by your
desk and says "arriba," okay?
Kind of loses its comedic punch.
Oh, you're too sensitive!
You got to have a thick skin, rookie,
Or those guys will eat you alive.
Oh, this is work. Hang on.
No, no, no. Phones --
really? Phones on the hike now?
It's the regional rep.
What do you want me to do -- not answer?
Well, just take it in the car,
'cause I got a thing at 8:00.
Well, go ahead. I'll catch up. Owen thoreau.
Tee time?
Oh, no, I wish.
Got, uh, the weekly check-in
With albert's guidance counselor.
How's al doing?
He's good. Doing real good.
Yeah, he hasn't had that anxiety
thing for a long time now.
Although he's still kind of afraid to go
out of the house. Supposed to be real good.
200 bucks a pop -- better be good.
Well, win a couple
tournaments on a senior tour,
And you won't have to worry about money.
yeah.
No?
Ah, I think I got ahead of myself
On that senior-tour thing.
What do you mean?
Ahh. I don't have time.
I got the divorce, the kids, the store...
I get out there once in a while,
But pros get out there.
They got trainers and coaches and --
They're just good.
Maybe you should sell the store.
Yeah, yeah, that's what I'll do.
I'll just sell the store right after lunch.
Well, no, you got to kick
yourself in the ass somehow.
I mean, you got a small
window to do this thing,
And, personally,
I think if you commit to it,
You could do it.
Do what?
No. No, no.
You can't take a phone call
And then think we're gonna
recap everything for you.
You don't have to recap everything.
Just catch me up.
No. No, he's right.
No cellphones on the hike.
This is sacred time.
Sacred time? What kind of bullshit is that?
Tell me what you're talking about.
Nope.
Not gonna do it.
You could've done it by now!
Whoa, whoa.
Leg cramp.
Ahh. Fantasy woman.
See, now, this just proves my point.
What?
You ever gonna ask her out,
or are you just gonna sit on your ass?
How is that a point?
That's what I hate about you.
You compare things that don't even make --
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Shit, joe, if this is who she goes for,
You might've had a chance.
No, she ain't -- she ain't going for him.
They're not boyfriend/girlfriend.
Right? Look, they're just --
This is the worst day of my life.
Snooze, you lose.
Huh? Yeah.
You say shit, you get hit. See?
I can make rhymes that are mean, too.
Academically, it's not ideal,
But, you know, albert is albert.
Yeah, mm-hmm.
On a better note,
I think it's a tremendous positive
He's decided to go to
the upper-school dance.
I mean, usually -- mike, mike,
hold one for one second.
Sure. Yeah?
We're out of "get well" balloons.
I -- well --
All right, all right. Let me finish up here.
Hey, mike, sorry. Oh, not a problem.
I was just saying,
when kids isolate themselves,
It usually compounds their anxiety problems.
Albert going to this dance
is a really great thing.
Yeah. You know, we really didn't
push him on that or anything.
No, I'm sure you didn't.
You and sonia have been a great team.
More often than not,
divorce has the opposite effect.
Anyway, I'm not here to judge.
You get the picture.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're saying of all the
screwed-up parents, we're the best.
that's not how I meant that.
By the way, how's the
senior tour coming along?
I think albert's told the
whole school about it.
He's very proud.
Yeah, it's -- it's good. It's, uh...
Can't wait to see you out there giving
the old guys a run for their money.
Yeah. Yeah, well, me too.
Thanks. Um, all right,
let me go, mike. All righty.
All right, thanks. Yep.
Bye. Bye-bye.
I can't find anything.
Yeah, it's all right. Let me --
I want to run something by you guys.
Uh...
I'm thinking maybe it's
time that you guys take on
Just a little more responsibility
around here, you know?
Like what?
Like if we're low on something,
you order it on your own.
Or maybe you start opening and
closing the store even more now.
Is this, like, a promotion?
Well...
It's a responsibility promotion.
So, does the responsibility promotion
Come with, like, a pay promotion?
Well...
...I'm thinking let's give this a try,
And, uh, yeah, we'll see.
So, probably more pay?
We'll see.
Okay, so, then who wants treat duty?
Oh, sure, I'll do it.
Is something wrong, jess?
No, it's just aleece --
No, I know, you make those
incredible cupcakes.
And?
Well, I mean, it is a lunchtime party,
And I just -- is anybody else
worried about all that sugar?
I'll try and keep it on the healthy side.
Great. And then, lauren,
can I put you on party favors?
Of course. You know what?
I'm just gonna make you
a list of stuff to get.
Did you guys hear about
that little boy in san diego
Whose idiot father got him a
science kit with magnets in it?
He ate one, and then he had to have surgery.
So, no magnet filling
in the cupcakes, aleece.
Jessica, I don't need a list.
I know what toys are safe.
Oh, no, I know. But I just...
Oh, you know what? Why don't
I be in charge of the favors?
I do have a party-store connection, so...
Oh, right. Lauren, you don't mind, do you?
No. Ah, you're the best.
All right, melissa,
let me just finish this list. Okay.
Service is out of control!
Heads need to roll!
"heads need to roll"?
Hey, you say the word, I'll regulate.
Okay, just relax.
Hey, jesse.
Quick question --
Um, what's the hold-up on the
remote starter for carl's impala?
Yeah, I'm sorry, boss. We're backed up.
Listen, talk to your buyer,
tell him I'm sorry.
It might be another day.
I talked to him when I sold him the car.
I'm done talking to him.
Especially when I know my car
was here before that one!
Go on. I'll take care of this.
Unbelievable!
New guy's got a temper.
Yeah, well, nobody likes
to get jerked around.
I didn't jerk him around.
Um, I got a work order here
That says his car would
be ready this morning.
You signed it.
Come on, he knows that
a work order's a guess,
Not a guarantee.
The suits act like they don't
so they can come down here
Kicking and cussing,
telling me how to run my shop,
But nobody tells me how to run my shop.
No, no, no, jesse, of course not.
Let me ask you something that I've
never understood about that whole deal.
If you don't know when
a car can get finished,
Why not help us out and just
say you don't know?
Because if I say I don't know,
Then your guys come down here
and call me and my guys names.
If I tell them "Thursday,
" then they go away.
Everybody's happy.
Until Thursday.
Yeah. It'll be Friday soon enough.
Can you at least promise me
that carl's car will be next?
Yeah, no problem.
Thank you.
And, listen, this is the
policy from now on --
It's okay to say "I don't know"
If you really don't.
But if you do know for sure,
Just give the salesmen a date and
time they can expect their car,
And if they've got a problem
with the date you give them,
They can talk to me.
All right, boss. Sure.
Thank you.
Stop your whining.
Tell your buyer his car
will be ready tonight.
Ahh! Big o! Takin' care of "bidness"!
Kickin' ass and takin' names!
Say your wifand then,
in -- bwhen you get back in...
Mm.
Voilà -- the car remembers everything
Exactly the way you like it,
From the seat to the mirrors.
What's that?
What's what?
That.
That's, um, like a, um...
My cousin has a t-shirt shop.
He said we could make one
20 feet tall if we wanted.
Can he do balloons?
They use me as a --
excuse me just for a second.
Should I tell them to lay off? No.
It'll just get worse if they
think I'm protecting him.
What I'd like you to do
Is deal with jesse down in service.
oh, no, no, no, no.
I'm not messing around there.
Pain in the ass.
So, what do I do -- fire him?
Wouldn't do that.
At least with jesse, you get good work.
Remember when herman the german ran things?
That son of a bitch almost cost us
Our better business certification.
Yep. The devil you know...
Mr. T, you're still here. No. No, I'm not.
No, I got a half-hour -- I'm gonna sneak in
A little session before I
got to pick up the kids.
Well, this lady inside says
she needs to talk to you.
Dashaun, that's part of the whole
"new responsibility" thing.
You guys got to take care of that.
Hey, joe.
Okay, goody bags.
Oh, water guns? No!
Bubbles.
Bubbles. Let me check the list to be safe.
Nope, no bubbles.
I never thought I could hate a list,
but I do. I hate it.
Ms. Jessica schultz does not take chances
With her children's safety.
If it says "made in china,
" it's not on the list.
Well, everything in here is made in china.
What else for the safest,
most boring party ever?
Hey, how's the golf coming?
Oh, it's good. It's going good.
Call me.
Mr. Sisler, I can only tell you
What the service department tells me.
This is the second time! Mr. Sisler --
I mean, it's ridiculous.
Look, seriously, you can't keep doing this!
If you just want to wait over there.
We've got some coffee and --
Jesse!
Jesse!
Yeah, boss?
Where's carl's car?
It's right there. It's the impala, remember?
You told me his car was up next. It is.
My guys have been under these two all day.
As soon as they're done, new guy's up.
And when is that gonna be?
Well, the malibu's an engine replacement,
Cobalt's a tranny rebuild,
So best I could tell you is...
I don't know.
I think that's you, boss.
Owen thoreau.
Hey, uh, what time is that dance tomorrow?
I'm driving you guys, right?
Oh, don't worry about me.
Sudheer is picking me up.
Yeah, and I'm not going.
What do you mean? Said you were going.
You told mr. Dokich you were going.
Well, yeah. I just said that
so he'd let me go to lunch.
That guy never stops talking.
Well, I got to tell you, albert,
I kind of made plans
thinking you were going.
You should go, albert. It's fun.
Yeah, like you're even going.
After 10 minutes, you're
going to jack fordham's party
With all the other seniors.
Parents gonna be there?
Yes.
Well, I don't get
The whole changing-your-story thing, albert.
You're not scared of getting shaky, right?
'cause you've been doing great with that.
No, not really. Those things are just lame.
Well, yeah, they start out lame,
But then you start goofing
off with wes and reed,
And you're having fun.
Next thing you know, the deejay's playing
"crimson and clover."
That's how all my dances ended, but still.
Right? Uh-huh.
Yeah. I'm not going.
Hey, daddy.
Why don't you have your uniforms on?
I don't know.
Melissa!
Oh, my god, football.
I'm sorry, I totally forgot.
Boys, hurry up. Go to your room
and get your football stuff.
I'm sorry, my lunch went until 2:30--
I asked you to do one little thing.
You know how jessica is with this
party stuff. It's a lot to deal with.
And then I was with joe for over an hour --
So, lunch, shopping, and party planning?
That's your big day? Okay.
Hey!
Daddy, my cleats are stuck together.
Cleats on in the car! Let's go! Let's go!
This is classic.
And, you know, the whole time,
In my head, I'm telling myself,
"just shut up and get out of the house!"
But then my stupid ass just
had to get one more shot in.
Did she beat the shit out of you?
'cause she's small, but she's fast.
She's like...Mnh! No, no.
We didn't get a chance to talk about it.
I came home, I put the boys to bed,
and she was asleep.
Then I had to leave early for
that work shit. It's just...
That's even worse now,
'cause it's building up.
It's festering, trust me. It's festering.
When your blood sugar gets low,
you get cranky, right?
So maybe it was that. I'm not
gonna use my disease as an excuse.
That's a mistake.
You should be using that
more to get out of stuff.
I had a shitty day,
okay? A particularly shitty day.
And, yes, I know it's wrong,
But I brought it home and
I took it out on her,
And tonight I will apologize, okay?
Okay, if she doesn't
understand that, then --
Then I don't know what.
You scared?
Little bit.
That's just hilarious.
Hilarious, guys!
It's delicious, terry.
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Oh, yeah? Why not?
Because they've got 15 more in the closet,
And you getting upset is
exactly what they want.
What am I supposed to do?
Just take their crap?
The only thing those guys respect
Is selling cars and getting laid.
And since I'm not in the
getting-people-laid business...
Who's rod sherwood?
He's senior's old agent.
He buys a new corvette every two years,
And he always pays sticker price.
I gave him your name.
Why?
Because junior's got enough to worry about
Besides waiting for you
and the rest of the girls
To stop giving each other titty twisters.
Sherwood's coming in at 5:30.
Don't screw it up.
Jesse, come on in. Shut the door.
There a problem, boss?
Well, yeah, jesse. There is.
There's a lot of problems, actually,
But, um, for starters, I don't see why
We can't figure out some way to get
sales and service on the same team.
Probably 'cause the guys
in sales are assholes.
Um, look, um, I think I
made a mistake yesterday
Trying to tell you how to run your shop,
And I apologize.
But you got to see things from my side.
I've got a customer that's unhappy.
I got to act on that.
Well, customers only get unhappy
When people promise them
things they can't deliver.
Newbie wanted to play the big man
And show his customer he
could push that car through.
Now he looks bad, thoreau looks bad,
And, for some reason, I'm the one up here
Getting talked to in your daddy's office.
Right. And he's not the worst one.
I mean, every day,
one of those suits comes down
And tries to squeeze my
guys for some "rush job."
If I don't stand up for them, nobody does.
Uh, why don't I give you a few more guys,
Lighten the load so things don't back up?
No. Our shop has one of the shortest
turnaround times in the region.
You bring in new hires,
the next thing you know,
The work dries up,
and then my guys are eyeballing me
'cause I got to cut them to half a day.
I don't think so.
Okay, um...
I guess I need to, uh,
Do some...More thinking on this.
Yeah, okay. Oh.
But, hey, listen... Don't beat yourself up.
I mean, when daddy just up and hands you
The keys to a new car like this,
You're bound to scratch a
quarter panel or two, right?
Have a good one.
Brbruce did talk to me, I was comingand --
I'm running a little late.
Well, that's not a problem.
But you've got the corvettefor?
I'm looking at her right now,
And she is definitely cherry.
Okay. Be there by 8:00.
All right, I'll see you then. Bye.
Hey, terr, we're grabbing sombeers.
You in?
Uh, sorry, fellas. Got plans.
How about you? Mm, gee,
I was gonna get my burro detailed.
Vamanos, chicos.
Las cervezas están esperando.
Keep laughing, dicks.
Maybe I should just go hit
a bucket of balls with you.
All right, albert, come on.
What's the matter?
You feeling shaky right now?
No.
Look, the driving range --
it's 2 miles away.
You feel something coming on,
you call me up,
I come right back here.
10:30, right? 10:30.
10:30, I'm right here.
Look, how about this?
How about I'll text you every hour,
Just, you know, make sure you're doing okay?
Yeah, okay. Yeah.
That sounds good. Yeah, every hour.
10:30.
On the dot.
Hi, honey. Hey.
Uh, melissa?
Um, yesterday was a
particularly hard day for me.
And, uh, that being said,
It doesn't give me the right to
treat you the way that I did.
Um, what I said to you --
That was wrong of me.
Thank you, sweetie.
But you weren't wrong.
What?
Yes, at first, I was really,
really pissed at you.
And then I started to think about it,
And I realized it wasn't you I was mad at.
I was mad that you were right.
My -- my blood sugar might
have also been a little low.
Owen...
I want to go back to work.
Now, I know I've always said
That it wasn't worth it financially,
But I think -- I think that
was just my fear talking.
I was using that as an excuse
Because I was scared that
if I went back to work,
I wouldn't be a good mother.
Now I know I'm a good mother.
You're a great mother.
Well, remember, I was gonna go back to work
When the boys started school,
But then terry had that stupid mojito party,
And then nine months later
we had hana -- who we love,
But now we both know we're done with kids.
So it's time.
Um, it's -- it's not
that I don't want you to,
But I'm not sure that it is time.
Debbie cooke has been after me for I don't
know how long to get together with her,
So I figured it might be worthwhile
To see what she has to offer.
Do you know that she is senior
editor of that magazine now?
I mean, I trained her.
You know that things are crazy
at the store right now, right?
And I can't promise how
much I'm gonna be around --
Weekends or --
Honey, I need to do this.
Look, I don't want to be the mom
That fills her day worrying
about the kids eating magnets.
I mean, do you get that? Sure, yeah.
I guess, um, the next time debbie calls,
Um, we'll see.
Well, we're having lunch tomorrow.
Tomorrow?
So, this is just happening?
Well, honey... Obviously,
you've made up your mind.
I don't even know why you
bother talking to me.
Because this is what we do.
It's just not a good time.
Owen...
Well, mom, you were right.
But now our dinners are a
little too exciting.
Indicate more, you idiot.
Okay, I'm heading out.
Oh, alexis, I thought you already left.
See you tomorrow. Good night.
Don't work too hard.
Yeah, don't worry. I won't.
Arigato-o-o!
You forget some--
Terry?
Good. Let's go again.
Hmm. Good.
Very good -- now,
let's just be a little smoother
Through the transition, all right?
Attention, lacorte's customers.
The coffee bar will be
closing in 10 minutes.
Just a medium coke, please.
Sorry. We just have coffee.
Oh. Um, okay.
Give me a triple espresso.
At a quarter to 9:00? Wow.
You're like a real italian or something.
Yeah, uh, I am. My name's tranelli.
Really? Tranelli what?
Uh...Spaghetti.
Tranelli spaghetti.
Hello?
Hey, dickless. Where are you?
I'm, uh -- I'm at the bookstore. Why?
He's at the bookstore.
Dude, why are you at the bookstore?
Books are lame.
Okay, listen, brian pollard
just got into the senior party
'cause his brother's there.
So? So your sister's there, right?
You got to get us in there.
We close in 10, mr. Spaghetti.
You know, I must've driven by this place
Every day on my way to school.
How weird is that?
A teacher. I mean, wow, that's --
11th- and 12th-grade history.
Of course, a little drama.
So, I make the mistake of mentioning
That, you know, a long time ago,
I had been in some commercials,
So next thing I know,
One of my students pulls out his phone.
We're watching you and I.
Then we start reading the comments.
I said to myself,
"I got to look that poor bastard up."
How long ago did we make those spots?
Oh, please, don't make me say it.
You know, the only thing
I really can remember about that shoot
Was that the first thing you said to me
Was that you had this strict
policy against dating actors.
That is not the first thing I said.
Yes! Yes, it was. I don't believe
that that is the first --
And I hadn't even thought
about asking you out. Ohh.
I mean, I'm sure I would have eventually,
But, I mean, it was --
whoa! Geez! Ah. Thank you.
Excuse me, I have to get that.
Of course.
Thoreau chevrolet.
Is this terry?
Yes, sir. Mr. Sherwood?
Yes. Listen, terry, I'm really
jammed up at the office here.
Oh, well, that's okay.
Take as long as you need.
I'm perfectly willing to wait.
Good. Tell me, terr,
did they armor all the seats for me?
Bruce knows I like that red leather to glow.
Uh, uh, red?
You know, mr. Sherwood,
I'm not sure that, um,
red is an option on the '011s.
Well, you make it an option!
That car's got to have red leather seats,
Or my name's not moses cockmonkey!
What?
I said, "my name's not mos-- "
I can't. Shit, I can't.
Bruce, you son of a bitch.
Cockmonkey!
Unbelievable.
You want to get a drink?
You know our family
Is the most important thing
in the world to me, right?
Yeah.
And nothing's gonna change that.
Yeah.
Honey...
This just feels so right to me.
You're finally at a place
to make the dealership
What you've always wanted it to be...
And now I'm gonna get back
to where I want to be.
And together we're gonna have
everything we ever wanted
Because we're here to
support and help each other,
No matter what.
And I promise you...
Everything's gonna be fine.
That's what you always say.
I'm always right.
I know.
I know.
Here are your playing lines.
Look at the top of your backswing.
This is right where you want to be.
This is excellent, okay?
And we just want to smooth it out from here,
But this is very nice.
Great lines.
Dude, this is epic.
We didn't even need you to get in.
Yeah, man. Come on, come on, let's go.
Albert?
Hey-o!
Mr. Cockmonkey,
looks like your salesman's here
To deliver your corvette, after all.
Hey! Fellas.
That was great. Bravo.
I really -- I fell for that big time!
Hey, terr. Uh, who's your friend?
Oh, uh, this is erin.
Erin, these are the idiots I work with.
Hi.
Erin played my wife in the commercial
You guys have been looking at.
Can you believe it? Right?
I haven't her in, like, forever,
And tonight I'm sitting there,
I'm alone, and then bam!
So, which one of you do I have to thank
For those youtube comments?
Right here.
You have no idea
How long I've been looking for this guy.
One in a million, right?
See ya, fellas.
We're gonna go, uh, catch up.
Oh, and, hey, getting drunk is no excuse
For sleeping with your co-workers.
How was that? Was it too much?
No, it was incredible.
Why'd you ever quit acting?
I got to get into commercials.
Kid hits it pretty good, huh?
Yeah, he's getting there.
He'd have won a second junior amateur
If his parents had called me sooner.
yeah, right.
All right, have a good night.
I, uh -- I saw you swinging over there.
You're a little better than the
average range rat yourself.
Yeah, I play a little. I'm just...
I'm trying to tune up for
the senior pre-qualifier
Here in a couple months, you know? Just --
Really? I'm trying -- that's all.
Well, why don't you step in?
I got a few minutes.
Oh, man, I would love to.
I just -- I got to get my kid.
Okay. Roy park.
I'm in carlsbad. I don't come up here a lot.
I got the kid, a few other clients.
But if you're serious about the qualifier
And you want to set something up,
give me a call.
Yeah, I might do that. I just -- okay.
Well, thank you, man.
Have a good one. All right.
Oh, man. Damn it, that's sweet!
yeah.
You're getting your shoulder
behind the ball now.
You feel it, right? I do, I do.
You were right. I wasn't
getting my shoulder behind it.
Oh, that is -- oh, shit!
Oh, 11:40. Man, I got to go.
We went a little long,
but it won't be that way every time.
Yeah, no, it's my son.
If he doesn't see me, he's gonna --
I got to go. I'm gonna call you.
But this was great. This was great.
Thank you.
Here we go.
Ugh!
Aw, dude, you suck!
I got it.
Hurry up. If fordham sees
you up there, he'll kill us.
Oh, shit.
Come on, albert, pick it up. Pick it up.
Hey, it's albert. Leave a message.
Bee-e-e-p!
Hey, listen, I'm on my way.
I'm sorry, man, I just got a
little tied up at the range,
But I'm gonna be there in like two minutes.
So I'll be right there.
♪ my mind's such a sweet thing ♪
♪ I wanna do everything ♪
♪ what a beautiful feeling ♪
Come on, come on!
♪ crimson and clover ♪
♪ over and over ♪ turn, already!
Come on.
You got to be kidding me.
♪ over and over ♪
All right. You got your blinker on!
Come on, come on.
Albert, albert, buddy, I know I'm late.
But, listen, calm down.
Calm down, buddy. It's o--
♪ yeah ♪
♪ my mind's such a sweet thing ♪
I swear, you said no so many times,
I thought maybe you were mad at me.
Oh, god, no.
I just couldn't get through
the mountain of diapers
To get to the phone.
Honestly, I didn't want to get
back to you about anything
Until I was fully ready to commit.
it's just lunch, melissa.
Oh, yeah, I-I know, but...
I've been thinking about it,
and I'm finally ready.
I mean, not to come back full time --
well, not at first --
But -- and then I'm flexible. You know me.
Oh, melissa, I assumed you --
I just honestly wanted to catch up.
Oh, god. Oh!
If I misled you, I'm so sorry.
I mean, if I could,
I'd hire you in a second.
It's just that the magazine is dying.
I don't even no how much longer
I'm gonna be there.
Oh, wow.
I'm sorry. Oh! No, it's okay.
Do you still want to have lunch?
Oh! Of course! Oh, great.
And my treat.
Oh, no, it's all right.
Afternoon, boss.
How long before those cars
are serviced and out of here?
I don't know.
Yeah, that's not working for me anymore.
I want three more techs in
here by next week. What?
Ho-- wait, hold it. Owen,
I thought we talked about this.
Yeah, we did. You told me how proud you
were of our garage's quick turnaround.
You don't want to
jeopardize our rep, do you?
Mr. Thoreau, your wife is calling!
I'll call her from the office!
Three. Monday.
Hey. I told you, my guys are
not gonna be okay with that.
This is your shop. Make them okay with it.
And how am I supposed to do that?
I don't know.
Anything else to say?
Totally unfair.
Oh, really? Really? Unfair?
Maybe next time don't lie
about parents being there!
I didn't know!
You didn't leave, either, though, did you?
Dad. What?
like I said, I barely even had one beer.
Which is "barely even"
one more than you can have.
Are you supposed to have beer now?
Did some new thing get
approved that I forgot?
You went to a party.
There were no parents there.
You drank. You lied.
Dad, I said I'm sorry!
All right, well, we're gonna
see how sorry you are,
Because you have one week
now of nothing -- nothing --
No computer, no facebooking,
none of that crap.
One week.
And your hot-dog friends
who took you to that party,
You can say goodbye to them for a week, too.
Nobody took me, dad.
Reed and wes were there already.
Everybody was there because
they know how lame the dance is.
Oh, so, by yourself,
you just went to the party?
Yes!
Well, that doesn't matter, okay?!
You can't do this stuff! You can't!
End of story!
All right.
I'm sorry, baby.
You're such a liar.
I mean, would it make me more comfortable...
To know that the kids
Would have you at home when they needed you?
Yeah. But you know...
Well, you don't have to
worry about it anyway.
Apparently while I was off making babies,
The entire world went to crap.
Listen to me.
There are other jobs out there.
And you are going to get one of them.
You know why?
Why?
Because...
Everything's gonna be fine.
If you say so.
Mom, I don't know what to do.
Everything I make is so boring.
Honey...I'm hungry.
Oh, no. No.
Hush, hush.
this is too good.
Microwave? Try it.
Here we go, here we go.
Delicioso! Arriba! Arriba!
Ha ha!
Ahh!
Come on, give it to me. Give it to me.
You got moves.
Okay. Okay, that's -- no, no, no, wait.
Wait, wait, wait. But wait, there's more.
Well, mom, you were right.
But now our dinners are a
little too exciting.
Arigato-o-o!
"arigato"? That's japanese.
Yeah, yeah. We weren't so pc
back in the '80s, you know?
Where'd you guys even, uh -- even get that?
And how do I get rid of it?
What? Get rid of it?
You got almost a million views,
kid. Strong work.
What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, look.
Check out the comments.
"I heard the mariachi guy sells cars
"at thoreau chevrolet in the valley
And I, I, I, I just got a great deal."
Who the hell wrote that?
Couldn't tell you.
♪ when I grow up to be a man ♪
♪ will I dig the same things
that turn me on as a kid? ♪
♪ will I look back and say ♪
♪ that I wish I hadn't done what I did? ♪
♪ will I joke around ♪
♪ and still dig those sounds ♪
♪ will I still joke around ♪
♪ when I grow up to be a man?
and still dig those sounds ♪
This thing rings all day,
And I got 20 messages before
even getting out of bed.
It's unbelievable.
Everybody's just trying to make a
good impression on the new boss.
More like testing the new boss
To see what they can get away with.
Well, I tell you what --
Why don't I go into the office
and whip everybody into shape
And you can spend the afternoon
with the mommies
Planning the fall party for michael's class?
I do plan a hell of a party.
you haven't planned a
party with these mommies.
Oh.
Hey, don't forget, you have the
boys' football practice tonight.
Uh, right.
Uh, can you please have them dressed
and ready to go before I get here?
I'm coming straight from work,
And all those pads and crap are a nightmare.
Of course. Eh...
"thank you. You're the greatest."
You're the new guy. New guy gets shit.
That's how it is.
Yeah, especially when
they find the new guy's
Really shitty old commercial. Oh, yeah.
Hey, I can laugh at myself
just as well as the next guy,
But the 500th time
That a guy walks by your
desk and says "arriba," okay?
Kind of loses its comedic punch.
Oh, you're too sensitive!
You got to have a thick skin, rookie,
Or those guys will eat you alive.
Oh, this is work. Hang on.
No, no, no. Phones --
really? Phones on the hike now?
It's the regional rep.
What do you want me to do -- not answer?
Well, just take it in the car,
'cause I got a thing at 8:00.
Well, go ahead. I'll catch up. Owen thoreau.
Tee time?
Oh, no, I wish.
Got, uh, the weekly check-in
With albert's guidance counselor.
How's al doing?
He's good. Doing real good.
Yeah, he hasn't had that anxiety
thing for a long time now.
Although he's still kind of afraid to go
out of the house. Supposed to be real good.
200 bucks a pop -- better be good.
Well, win a couple
tournaments on a senior tour,
And you won't have to worry about money.
yeah.
No?
Ah, I think I got ahead of myself
On that senior-tour thing.
What do you mean?
Ahh. I don't have time.
I got the divorce, the kids, the store...
I get out there once in a while,
But pros get out there.
They got trainers and coaches and --
They're just good.
Maybe you should sell the store.
Yeah, yeah, that's what I'll do.
I'll just sell the store right after lunch.
Well, no, you got to kick
yourself in the ass somehow.
I mean, you got a small
window to do this thing,
And, personally,
I think if you commit to it,
You could do it.
Do what?
No. No, no.
You can't take a phone call
And then think we're gonna
recap everything for you.
You don't have to recap everything.
Just catch me up.
No. No, he's right.
No cellphones on the hike.
This is sacred time.
Sacred time? What kind of bullshit is that?
Tell me what you're talking about.
Nope.
Not gonna do it.
You could've done it by now!
Whoa, whoa.
Leg cramp.
Ahh. Fantasy woman.
See, now, this just proves my point.
What?
You ever gonna ask her out,
or are you just gonna sit on your ass?
How is that a point?
That's what I hate about you.
You compare things that don't even make --
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Shit, joe, if this is who she goes for,
You might've had a chance.
No, she ain't -- she ain't going for him.
They're not boyfriend/girlfriend.
Right? Look, they're just --
This is the worst day of my life.
Snooze, you lose.
Huh? Yeah.
You say shit, you get hit. See?
I can make rhymes that are mean, too.
Academically, it's not ideal,
But, you know, albert is albert.
Yeah, mm-hmm.
On a better note,
I think it's a tremendous positive
He's decided to go to
the upper-school dance.
I mean, usually -- mike, mike,
hold one for one second.
Sure. Yeah?
We're out of "get well" balloons.
I -- well --
All right, all right. Let me finish up here.
Hey, mike, sorry. Oh, not a problem.
I was just saying,
when kids isolate themselves,
It usually compounds their anxiety problems.
Albert going to this dance
is a really great thing.
Yeah. You know, we really didn't
push him on that or anything.
No, I'm sure you didn't.
You and sonia have been a great team.
More often than not,
divorce has the opposite effect.
Anyway, I'm not here to judge.
You get the picture.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're saying of all the
screwed-up parents, we're the best.
that's not how I meant that.
By the way, how's the
senior tour coming along?
I think albert's told the
whole school about it.
He's very proud.
Yeah, it's -- it's good. It's, uh...
Can't wait to see you out there giving
the old guys a run for their money.
Yeah. Yeah, well, me too.
Thanks. Um, all right,
let me go, mike. All righty.
All right, thanks. Yep.
Bye. Bye-bye.
I can't find anything.
Yeah, it's all right. Let me --
I want to run something by you guys.
Uh...
I'm thinking maybe it's
time that you guys take on
Just a little more responsibility
around here, you know?
Like what?
Like if we're low on something,
you order it on your own.
Or maybe you start opening and
closing the store even more now.
Is this, like, a promotion?
Well...
It's a responsibility promotion.
So, does the responsibility promotion
Come with, like, a pay promotion?
Well...
...I'm thinking let's give this a try,
And, uh, yeah, we'll see.
So, probably more pay?
We'll see.
Okay, so, then who wants treat duty?
Oh, sure, I'll do it.
Is something wrong, jess?
No, it's just aleece --
No, I know, you make those
incredible cupcakes.
And?
Well, I mean, it is a lunchtime party,
And I just -- is anybody else
worried about all that sugar?
I'll try and keep it on the healthy side.
Great. And then, lauren,
can I put you on party favors?
Of course. You know what?
I'm just gonna make you
a list of stuff to get.
Did you guys hear about
that little boy in san diego
Whose idiot father got him a
science kit with magnets in it?
He ate one, and then he had to have surgery.
So, no magnet filling
in the cupcakes, aleece.
Jessica, I don't need a list.
I know what toys are safe.
Oh, no, I know. But I just...
Oh, you know what? Why don't
I be in charge of the favors?
I do have a party-store connection, so...
Oh, right. Lauren, you don't mind, do you?
No. Ah, you're the best.
All right, melissa,
let me just finish this list. Okay.
Service is out of control!
Heads need to roll!
"heads need to roll"?
Hey, you say the word, I'll regulate.
Okay, just relax.
Hey, jesse.
Quick question --
Um, what's the hold-up on the
remote starter for carl's impala?
Yeah, I'm sorry, boss. We're backed up.
Listen, talk to your buyer,
tell him I'm sorry.
It might be another day.
I talked to him when I sold him the car.
I'm done talking to him.
Especially when I know my car
was here before that one!
Go on. I'll take care of this.
Unbelievable!
New guy's got a temper.
Yeah, well, nobody likes
to get jerked around.
I didn't jerk him around.
Um, I got a work order here
That says his car would
be ready this morning.
You signed it.
Come on, he knows that
a work order's a guess,
Not a guarantee.
The suits act like they don't
so they can come down here
Kicking and cussing,
telling me how to run my shop,
But nobody tells me how to run my shop.
No, no, no, jesse, of course not.
Let me ask you something that I've
never understood about that whole deal.
If you don't know when
a car can get finished,
Why not help us out and just
say you don't know?
Because if I say I don't know,
Then your guys come down here
and call me and my guys names.
If I tell them "Thursday,
" then they go away.
Everybody's happy.
Until Thursday.
Yeah. It'll be Friday soon enough.
Can you at least promise me
that carl's car will be next?
Yeah, no problem.
Thank you.
And, listen, this is the
policy from now on --
It's okay to say "I don't know"
If you really don't.
But if you do know for sure,
Just give the salesmen a date and
time they can expect their car,
And if they've got a problem
with the date you give them,
They can talk to me.
All right, boss. Sure.
Thank you.
Stop your whining.
Tell your buyer his car
will be ready tonight.
Ahh! Big o! Takin' care of "bidness"!
Kickin' ass and takin' names!
Say your wifand then,
in -- bwhen you get back in...
Mm.
Voilà -- the car remembers everything
Exactly the way you like it,
From the seat to the mirrors.
What's that?
What's what?
That.
That's, um, like a, um...
My cousin has a t-shirt shop.
He said we could make one
20 feet tall if we wanted.
Can he do balloons?
They use me as a --
excuse me just for a second.
Should I tell them to lay off? No.
It'll just get worse if they
think I'm protecting him.
What I'd like you to do
Is deal with jesse down in service.
oh, no, no, no, no.
I'm not messing around there.
Pain in the ass.
So, what do I do -- fire him?
Wouldn't do that.
At least with jesse, you get good work.
Remember when herman the german ran things?
That son of a bitch almost cost us
Our better business certification.
Yep. The devil you know...
Mr. T, you're still here. No. No, I'm not.
No, I got a half-hour -- I'm gonna sneak in
A little session before I
got to pick up the kids.
Well, this lady inside says
she needs to talk to you.
Dashaun, that's part of the whole
"new responsibility" thing.
You guys got to take care of that.
Hey, joe.
Okay, goody bags.
Oh, water guns? No!
Bubbles.
Bubbles. Let me check the list to be safe.
Nope, no bubbles.
I never thought I could hate a list,
but I do. I hate it.
Ms. Jessica schultz does not take chances
With her children's safety.
If it says "made in china,
" it's not on the list.
Well, everything in here is made in china.
What else for the safest,
most boring party ever?
Hey, how's the golf coming?
Oh, it's good. It's going good.
Call me.
Mr. Sisler, I can only tell you
What the service department tells me.
This is the second time! Mr. Sisler --
I mean, it's ridiculous.
Look, seriously, you can't keep doing this!
If you just want to wait over there.
We've got some coffee and --
Jesse!
Jesse!
Yeah, boss?
Where's carl's car?
It's right there. It's the impala, remember?
You told me his car was up next. It is.
My guys have been under these two all day.
As soon as they're done, new guy's up.
And when is that gonna be?
Well, the malibu's an engine replacement,
Cobalt's a tranny rebuild,
So best I could tell you is...
I don't know.
I think that's you, boss.
Owen thoreau.
Hey, uh, what time is that dance tomorrow?
I'm driving you guys, right?
Oh, don't worry about me.
Sudheer is picking me up.
Yeah, and I'm not going.
What do you mean? Said you were going.
You told mr. Dokich you were going.
Well, yeah. I just said that
so he'd let me go to lunch.
That guy never stops talking.
Well, I got to tell you, albert,
I kind of made plans
thinking you were going.
You should go, albert. It's fun.
Yeah, like you're even going.
After 10 minutes, you're
going to jack fordham's party
With all the other seniors.
Parents gonna be there?
Yes.
Well, I don't get
The whole changing-your-story thing, albert.
You're not scared of getting shaky, right?
'cause you've been doing great with that.
No, not really. Those things are just lame.
Well, yeah, they start out lame,
But then you start goofing
off with wes and reed,
And you're having fun.
Next thing you know, the deejay's playing
"crimson and clover."
That's how all my dances ended, but still.
Right? Uh-huh.
Yeah. I'm not going.
Hey, daddy.
Why don't you have your uniforms on?
I don't know.
Melissa!
Oh, my god, football.
I'm sorry, I totally forgot.
Boys, hurry up. Go to your room
and get your football stuff.
I'm sorry, my lunch went until 2:30--
I asked you to do one little thing.
You know how jessica is with this
party stuff. It's a lot to deal with.
And then I was with joe for over an hour --
So, lunch, shopping, and party planning?
That's your big day? Okay.
Hey!
Daddy, my cleats are stuck together.
Cleats on in the car! Let's go! Let's go!
This is classic.
And, you know, the whole time,
In my head, I'm telling myself,
"just shut up and get out of the house!"
But then my stupid ass just
had to get one more shot in.
Did she beat the shit out of you?
'cause she's small, but she's fast.
She's like...Mnh! No, no.
We didn't get a chance to talk about it.
I came home, I put the boys to bed,
and she was asleep.
Then I had to leave early for
that work shit. It's just...
That's even worse now,
'cause it's building up.
It's festering, trust me. It's festering.
When your blood sugar gets low,
you get cranky, right?
So maybe it was that. I'm not
gonna use my disease as an excuse.
That's a mistake.
You should be using that
more to get out of stuff.
I had a shitty day,
okay? A particularly shitty day.
And, yes, I know it's wrong,
But I brought it home and
I took it out on her,
And tonight I will apologize, okay?
Okay, if she doesn't
understand that, then --
Then I don't know what.
You scared?
Little bit.
That's just hilarious.
Hilarious, guys!
It's delicious, terry.
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Oh, yeah? Why not?
Because they've got 15 more in the closet,
And you getting upset is
exactly what they want.
What am I supposed to do?
Just take their crap?
The only thing those guys respect
Is selling cars and getting laid.
And since I'm not in the
getting-people-laid business...
Who's rod sherwood?
He's senior's old agent.
He buys a new corvette every two years,
And he always pays sticker price.
I gave him your name.
Why?
Because junior's got enough to worry about
Besides waiting for you
and the rest of the girls
To stop giving each other titty twisters.
Sherwood's coming in at 5:30.
Don't screw it up.
Jesse, come on in. Shut the door.
There a problem, boss?
Well, yeah, jesse. There is.
There's a lot of problems, actually,
But, um, for starters, I don't see why
We can't figure out some way to get
sales and service on the same team.
Probably 'cause the guys
in sales are assholes.
Um, look, um, I think I
made a mistake yesterday
Trying to tell you how to run your shop,
And I apologize.
But you got to see things from my side.
I've got a customer that's unhappy.
I got to act on that.
Well, customers only get unhappy
When people promise them
things they can't deliver.
Newbie wanted to play the big man
And show his customer he
could push that car through.
Now he looks bad, thoreau looks bad,
And, for some reason, I'm the one up here
Getting talked to in your daddy's office.
Right. And he's not the worst one.
I mean, every day,
one of those suits comes down
And tries to squeeze my
guys for some "rush job."
If I don't stand up for them, nobody does.
Uh, why don't I give you a few more guys,
Lighten the load so things don't back up?
No. Our shop has one of the shortest
turnaround times in the region.
You bring in new hires,
the next thing you know,
The work dries up,
and then my guys are eyeballing me
'cause I got to cut them to half a day.
I don't think so.
Okay, um...
I guess I need to, uh,
Do some...More thinking on this.
Yeah, okay. Oh.
But, hey, listen... Don't beat yourself up.
I mean, when daddy just up and hands you
The keys to a new car like this,
You're bound to scratch a
quarter panel or two, right?
Have a good one.
Brbruce did talk to me, I was comingand --
I'm running a little late.
Well, that's not a problem.
But you've got the corvettefor?
I'm looking at her right now,
And she is definitely cherry.
Okay. Be there by 8:00.
All right, I'll see you then. Bye.
Hey, terr, we're grabbing sombeers.
You in?
Uh, sorry, fellas. Got plans.
How about you? Mm, gee,
I was gonna get my burro detailed.
Vamanos, chicos.
Las cervezas están esperando.
Keep laughing, dicks.
Maybe I should just go hit
a bucket of balls with you.
All right, albert, come on.
What's the matter?
You feeling shaky right now?
No.
Look, the driving range --
it's 2 miles away.
You feel something coming on,
you call me up,
I come right back here.
10:30, right? 10:30.
10:30, I'm right here.
Look, how about this?
How about I'll text you every hour,
Just, you know, make sure you're doing okay?
Yeah, okay. Yeah.
That sounds good. Yeah, every hour.
10:30.
On the dot.
Hi, honey. Hey.
Uh, melissa?
Um, yesterday was a
particularly hard day for me.
And, uh, that being said,
It doesn't give me the right to
treat you the way that I did.
Um, what I said to you --
That was wrong of me.
Thank you, sweetie.
But you weren't wrong.
What?
Yes, at first, I was really,
really pissed at you.
And then I started to think about it,
And I realized it wasn't you I was mad at.
I was mad that you were right.
My -- my blood sugar might
have also been a little low.
Owen...
I want to go back to work.
Now, I know I've always said
That it wasn't worth it financially,
But I think -- I think that
was just my fear talking.
I was using that as an excuse
Because I was scared that
if I went back to work,
I wouldn't be a good mother.
Now I know I'm a good mother.
You're a great mother.
Well, remember, I was gonna go back to work
When the boys started school,
But then terry had that stupid mojito party,
And then nine months later
we had hana -- who we love,
But now we both know we're done with kids.
So it's time.
Um, it's -- it's not
that I don't want you to,
But I'm not sure that it is time.
Debbie cooke has been after me for I don't
know how long to get together with her,
So I figured it might be worthwhile
To see what she has to offer.
Do you know that she is senior
editor of that magazine now?
I mean, I trained her.
You know that things are crazy
at the store right now, right?
And I can't promise how
much I'm gonna be around --
Weekends or --
Honey, I need to do this.
Look, I don't want to be the mom
That fills her day worrying
about the kids eating magnets.
I mean, do you get that? Sure, yeah.
I guess, um, the next time debbie calls,
Um, we'll see.
Well, we're having lunch tomorrow.
Tomorrow?
So, this is just happening?
Well, honey... Obviously,
you've made up your mind.
I don't even know why you
bother talking to me.
Because this is what we do.
It's just not a good time.
Owen...
Well, mom, you were right.
But now our dinners are a
little too exciting.
Indicate more, you idiot.
Okay, I'm heading out.
Oh, alexis, I thought you already left.
See you tomorrow. Good night.
Don't work too hard.
Yeah, don't worry. I won't.
Arigato-o-o!
You forget some--
Terry?
Good. Let's go again.
Hmm. Good.
Very good -- now,
let's just be a little smoother
Through the transition, all right?
Attention, lacorte's customers.
The coffee bar will be
closing in 10 minutes.
Just a medium coke, please.
Sorry. We just have coffee.
Oh. Um, okay.
Give me a triple espresso.
At a quarter to 9:00? Wow.
You're like a real italian or something.
Yeah, uh, I am. My name's tranelli.
Really? Tranelli what?
Uh...Spaghetti.
Tranelli spaghetti.
Hello?
Hey, dickless. Where are you?
I'm, uh -- I'm at the bookstore. Why?
He's at the bookstore.
Dude, why are you at the bookstore?
Books are lame.
Okay, listen, brian pollard
just got into the senior party
'cause his brother's there.
So? So your sister's there, right?
You got to get us in there.
We close in 10, mr. Spaghetti.
You know, I must've driven by this place
Every day on my way to school.
How weird is that?
A teacher. I mean, wow, that's --
11th- and 12th-grade history.
Of course, a little drama.
So, I make the mistake of mentioning
That, you know, a long time ago,
I had been in some commercials,
So next thing I know,
One of my students pulls out his phone.
We're watching you and I.
Then we start reading the comments.
I said to myself,
"I got to look that poor bastard up."
How long ago did we make those spots?
Oh, please, don't make me say it.
You know, the only thing
I really can remember about that shoot
Was that the first thing you said to me
Was that you had this strict
policy against dating actors.
That is not the first thing I said.
Yes! Yes, it was. I don't believe
that that is the first --
And I hadn't even thought
about asking you out. Ohh.
I mean, I'm sure I would have eventually,
But, I mean, it was --
whoa! Geez! Ah. Thank you.
Excuse me, I have to get that.
Of course.
Thoreau chevrolet.
Is this terry?
Yes, sir. Mr. Sherwood?
Yes. Listen, terry, I'm really
jammed up at the office here.
Oh, well, that's okay.
Take as long as you need.
I'm perfectly willing to wait.
Good. Tell me, terr,
did they armor all the seats for me?
Bruce knows I like that red leather to glow.
Uh, uh, red?
You know, mr. Sherwood,
I'm not sure that, um,
red is an option on the '011s.
Well, you make it an option!
That car's got to have red leather seats,
Or my name's not moses cockmonkey!
What?
I said, "my name's not mos-- "
I can't. Shit, I can't.
Bruce, you son of a bitch.
Cockmonkey!
Unbelievable.
You want to get a drink?
You know our family
Is the most important thing
in the world to me, right?
Yeah.
And nothing's gonna change that.
Yeah.
Honey...
This just feels so right to me.
You're finally at a place
to make the dealership
What you've always wanted it to be...
And now I'm gonna get back
to where I want to be.
And together we're gonna have
everything we ever wanted
Because we're here to
support and help each other,
No matter what.
And I promise you...
Everything's gonna be fine.
That's what you always say.
I'm always right.
I know.
I know.
Here are your playing lines.
Look at the top of your backswing.
This is right where you want to be.
This is excellent, okay?
And we just want to smooth it out from here,
But this is very nice.
Great lines.
Dude, this is epic.
We didn't even need you to get in.
Yeah, man. Come on, come on, let's go.
Albert?
Hey-o!
Mr. Cockmonkey,
looks like your salesman's here
To deliver your corvette, after all.
Hey! Fellas.
That was great. Bravo.
I really -- I fell for that big time!
Hey, terr. Uh, who's your friend?
Oh, uh, this is erin.
Erin, these are the idiots I work with.
Hi.
Erin played my wife in the commercial
You guys have been looking at.
Can you believe it? Right?
I haven't her in, like, forever,
And tonight I'm sitting there,
I'm alone, and then bam!
So, which one of you do I have to thank
For those youtube comments?
Right here.
You have no idea
How long I've been looking for this guy.
One in a million, right?
See ya, fellas.
We're gonna go, uh, catch up.
Oh, and, hey, getting drunk is no excuse
For sleeping with your co-workers.
How was that? Was it too much?
No, it was incredible.
Why'd you ever quit acting?
I got to get into commercials.
Kid hits it pretty good, huh?
Yeah, he's getting there.
He'd have won a second junior amateur
If his parents had called me sooner.
yeah, right.
All right, have a good night.
I, uh -- I saw you swinging over there.
You're a little better than the
average range rat yourself.
Yeah, I play a little. I'm just...
I'm trying to tune up for
the senior pre-qualifier
Here in a couple months, you know? Just --
Really? I'm trying -- that's all.
Well, why don't you step in?
I got a few minutes.
Oh, man, I would love to.
I just -- I got to get my kid.
Okay. Roy park.
I'm in carlsbad. I don't come up here a lot.
I got the kid, a few other clients.
But if you're serious about the qualifier
And you want to set something up,
give me a call.
Yeah, I might do that. I just -- okay.
Well, thank you, man.
Have a good one. All right.
Oh, man. Damn it, that's sweet!
yeah.
You're getting your shoulder
behind the ball now.
You feel it, right? I do, I do.
You were right. I wasn't
getting my shoulder behind it.
Oh, that is -- oh, shit!
Oh, 11:40. Man, I got to go.
We went a little long,
but it won't be that way every time.
Yeah, no, it's my son.
If he doesn't see me, he's gonna --
I got to go. I'm gonna call you.
But this was great. This was great.
Thank you.
Here we go.
Ugh!
Aw, dude, you suck!
I got it.
Hurry up. If fordham sees
you up there, he'll kill us.
Oh, shit.
Come on, albert, pick it up. Pick it up.
Hey, it's albert. Leave a message.
Bee-e-e-p!
Hey, listen, I'm on my way.
I'm sorry, man, I just got a
little tied up at the range,
But I'm gonna be there in like two minutes.
So I'll be right there.
♪ my mind's such a sweet thing ♪
♪ I wanna do everything ♪
♪ what a beautiful feeling ♪
Come on, come on!
♪ crimson and clover ♪
♪ over and over ♪ turn, already!
Come on.
You got to be kidding me.
♪ over and over ♪
All right. You got your blinker on!
Come on, come on.
Albert, albert, buddy, I know I'm late.
But, listen, calm down.
Calm down, buddy. It's o--
♪ yeah ♪
♪ my mind's such a sweet thing ♪
I swear, you said no so many times,
I thought maybe you were mad at me.
Oh, god, no.
I just couldn't get through
the mountain of diapers
To get to the phone.
Honestly, I didn't want to get
back to you about anything
Until I was fully ready to commit.
it's just lunch, melissa.
Oh, yeah, I-I know, but...
I've been thinking about it,
and I'm finally ready.
I mean, not to come back full time --
well, not at first --
But -- and then I'm flexible. You know me.
Oh, melissa, I assumed you --
I just honestly wanted to catch up.
Oh, god. Oh!
If I misled you, I'm so sorry.
I mean, if I could,
I'd hire you in a second.
It's just that the magazine is dying.
I don't even no how much longer
I'm gonna be there.
Oh, wow.
I'm sorry. Oh! No, it's okay.
Do you still want to have lunch?
Oh! Of course! Oh, great.
And my treat.
Oh, no, it's all right.
Afternoon, boss.
How long before those cars
are serviced and out of here?
I don't know.
Yeah, that's not working for me anymore.
I want three more techs in
here by next week. What?
Ho-- wait, hold it. Owen,
I thought we talked about this.
Yeah, we did. You told me how proud you
were of our garage's quick turnaround.
You don't want to
jeopardize our rep, do you?
Mr. Thoreau, your wife is calling!
I'll call her from the office!
Three. Monday.
Hey. I told you, my guys are
not gonna be okay with that.
This is your shop. Make them okay with it.
And how am I supposed to do that?
I don't know.
Anything else to say?
Totally unfair.
Oh, really? Really? Unfair?
Maybe next time don't lie
about parents being there!
I didn't know!
You didn't leave, either, though, did you?
Dad. What?
like I said, I barely even had one beer.
Which is "barely even"
one more than you can have.
Are you supposed to have beer now?
Did some new thing get
approved that I forgot?
You went to a party.
There were no parents there.
You drank. You lied.
Dad, I said I'm sorry!
All right, well, we're gonna
see how sorry you are,
Because you have one week
now of nothing -- nothing --
No computer, no facebooking,
none of that crap.
One week.
And your hot-dog friends
who took you to that party,
You can say goodbye to them for a week, too.
Nobody took me, dad.
Reed and wes were there already.
Everybody was there because
they know how lame the dance is.
Oh, so, by yourself,
you just went to the party?
Yes!
Well, that doesn't matter, okay?!
You can't do this stuff! You can't!
End of story!
All right.
I'm sorry, baby.
You're such a liar.
I mean, would it make me more comfortable...
To know that the kids
Would have you at home when they needed you?
Yeah. But you know...
Well, you don't have to
worry about it anyway.
Apparently while I was off making babies,
The entire world went to crap.
Listen to me.
There are other jobs out there.
And you are going to get one of them.
You know why?
Why?
Because...
Everything's gonna be fine.
If you say so.