Men of a Certain Age (2009–2011): Season 2, Episode 5 - And Then the Bill Comes - full transcript
Ooh!
That's what I call
serious cheddar!
Ha ha!
Yeah!
Hey, I thought you had
the day off.
Oh, I just came by
to get my check...
And to pick out my demo.
Ah. Feels good to finally be
selling some cars, doesn't it?
It does not suck.
What happened...
Melissa make you clean out
the garage or something?
Oh, no.
This is the future, man.
Vinyl? I think
you got that backwards.
No, I want to get rid
of all this muzak shit.
Class up the place
with a little, uh, herbie
and maybe some miles.
I got some '60s funk
that'll blow your mind!
Oh, yeah, boss.
Maybe throw in a little rap.
No.
Sync by: flapinha for addic7ed. com
Corrected by: dny238
Seen Bruce?
I'm taking him fishing.
Unless, of course,
you need him to help organize
your record collection.
Oh, go on. Laugh.
Heads up.
Lawrence is coming.
Yes, I'm just trying to talk the
boss into giving you the day off.
Too nice a day
not to be out on the water.
Sorry, guys.
I got to talk to Owen.
There's a problem?
Yeah, there's a problem.
That fat load in service
just called me a dwarf
in front of a customer!
Uh, what do you prefer...
"Little person"?
Oh, yeah. That's funny.
I know. I know.
But you know what?
Not in front of an up.
Okay? That's so not cool!
Yo. Yo, son?
You need to go talk
to your boy Jesse again.
I just told him I needed
to spot-clean a malibu,
'cause some jerks baby
threw up in the backseat.
He told me it was gonna
take him an hour, Owen!
My customer walked out.
Yeah. They do that on purpose.
All right? They hate us!
Now, hold on a minute.
Let's just everybody calm down.
No, I won't calm down!
All right?!
Well, then...
I think we've got a boat
to catch.
Are you coming?
I am now.
I- I'll handle it.
I'll handle it.
Hey. Good to see you.
Hey, Dashaun.
We need some vampire teeth here.
I can't keep them
on the shelves, Mr. t.
All those "twilight"
movies, man.
Yeah, yeah, but...
That's the sexy, teen,
"look at my muscles" vampire.
All right?
What about Dracula?
Just plain old Dracula.
Yeah. Dracula.
That's old-school.
No, that's the real deal.
The white face, cape,
and "I vant to suck
your blood... "
A little respect for Dracula.
Everybody forgets
who starts stuff.
Oh, God.
Hey, Dashaun.
Is there hair on my face?
I keep seeing this thing...
It's like in the corner
of my eye...
Think it is...
And then I look in the mirror,
and it's... it's gone.
It's weird.
I know it's right in there,
'cause I press down,
and it goes away,
and then... bam, it's back up,
it's flickering around.
It's...
Take a look at this lady.
Don't look.
Don't look right now.
An old lady over there
just kind of giving me
the stink-eye.
Shoplifter?
No.
I think so.
No.
Hey, Maria.
Did that lady buy something?
The lady with the purple thing?
I don't think so.
Why?
She's a shoplifter.
No, no. Come on.
We don't know that.
We don't know that.
Just everybody...
You know what...
Keep an eye out,
'cause this holiday
just brings out the weirdos.
I think it's so sad
when old people steal.
I guess that's what happens
when you're old
and you don't have a family.
Hmm.
oh.
I'm sorry, Mr. T.
I got a family.
Okay?
And... and...
How old do you guys think I am?
Seriously.
Take a guess.
Unh-unh. My mom slapped someone
for this exact thing.
Come on.
There's no wrong answer.
I'm a guy. I don't care.
Just take a guess.
65.
Really?
I don't...
I don't know, Mr. t.
Maybe she a witch.
What?
The lady.
A witch?
Halloween they come.
Maybe, Carlos.
Never know, right?
Terry: Yeah, I know.
Yeah.
But how many times is my nephew
gonna turn 6?
Yeah. Yea, funny, wise-ass.
Just tell Molly
I'm coming, okay?
And, uh...
What kind of flowers
does she like?
No, Dick, no.
I didn't steal the phone.
This is actually your brother.
Okay.
Okay!
What time's the party start?
Lawrence: Put me down!
Hey! Hey!
Put me down!
Put me down!
This is a new suit.
Now come on.
Not cool.
Not cool.
Not cool.
Dickweeds!
So, you guys gonna figure out
a way to work together?
Or do I got to come in here
every day and babysit?
Midget keeps coming in
and checking
on his stupid impala
every 15 minutes,
and I told him
if he did it again,
he was going in the dumpster.
I saw you sneak that silverado
ahead of me!
Hey, your homey told me
it was an "emergency. "
You guys got to get
your act together.
Yeah. Sorry, man.
My bad.
Look, if I got to light a fire under
these guys' asses to get results...
Just keep it up, slick.
Just keep it up.
Hey, I know you ain't gonna throw
me in te dumpster, fat boy.
He doesn't think he's going
in the dumpster. Try it.
Guys, guys, guys, guys!
Just... can we knock this off,
please? Sit down, sit down.
Sit down.
Now, look...
All this finger pointing...
It isn't gonna solve
the problem. Okay?
Here's the thing...
We're a family,
and every family
has its problems, right?
Right?!
You know what I'm talking about.
Somebody always feels invisible
or under-appreciated
or misunderstood.
But underneath it all,
there's a whole lot of love!
Look...
We're at war here.
Okay?
We're at war with the grinders
and... and... and the roaches
with bad credit
and... and the soccer moms
who want to chisel so far
into your commission
that you got to tell junior,
"you're not getting a birthday
present this year. "
Oh, yeah, we're at war,
all right...
We're at war with scarpulla
down the road
and... and Toyota
and Japan and Germany
and the U.S. government,
for christ sakes!
But we are not at war
with each other!
We are a team!
We're a team!
It's us against them!
Us against all those...
Suckers!
So, what do you say
we get united today,
right this minute,
and win the goddamn war?
Can we go now?
Yeah, okay.
Just, um...
Just go, uh, hug it out
or something, okay?
These knuckleheads.
Can't see the forest
for the trees.
Typical workplace stuff.
A lot of resentment caused
by conflicting incentives.
I'm just saying.
The service guys...
They're just punching a clock
day in and day out.
But the salesmen
have the opportunity to...
Bounce a grape,
lay someone away.
It's exciting.
Oh, God.
Listen to him.
Talking all
"car businessy. "
Hmm.
Well, I got to hand it to him.
He's our number 2 this month.
No kidding? Really? Just got myselfmm.
Yep. A brand-new Icd tv.
HD, 1080p, 3-d ready.
You heard that right.
Who knew there was a capitalist
beneath that hemp exterior?
Never thought it could be me.
Weren't you the one who said
the car-salesman thing
is too, um, Sisyphean?
Well, yeah, but...
Well, you know what camus said
about sisyphus.
Thanks for this.
He said that no matter
how absurd and meaningless
our lives are,
the struggle alone is enough
to give us satisfaction.
Yeah.
Which is just the opposite
of how he used to think, right?
Whatever freaky little thing
makes him sell the cars.
Certainly not that music.
He's become you now.
We got to listen to his music
all day long.
He's playing
his jazz collection.
Nah, come on.
What, that, uh...
♪ Bup bup bup bee whoo ♪
"I'm a genius. "
Do I have to explain
jazz again?
It's not
♪ bup bup bup bee ♪
here comes the jazz face.
Oh, God.
Boppety,
boppety-bap-bap-bah!
Jazz sucks.
It's not just jazz.
It's funk, too. Come on by.
Terry: No, don't go by tomorrow.
I won't be there.
My nephew's turning 6.
Going down to carlsbad
for the party.
Oh, mark?
Mark's place?
Yeah, time sure goes by, huh?
I can't believe my little bro's
all grown up.
Got two kids now.
I guess his business
is doing really well.
What is it...
What does he do?
Uh, he installs...
Some shit.
He does, uh,
home systems integration.
How is it I remember that
and he can't?
Well, I haven't seen him
in a couple years.
He lives an hour away.
Yeah, with no traffic.
21/2 during rush hour.
Yeah, okay,
but that's yobrother.
Yeah, well, I'm going to go
see him, okay?
That's what I'm saying,
so... Geez.
If it was a hot girl,
you would have designed
some kind of rocket sled.
Yeah, well...
He and I, we just...
It's complicated, okay?
You know that.
By the way, fellas,
breakfast is on me.
Did he just do that?
I got to get a picture of this.
Oh, no.
I hit the...
Oh, that's a game.
Do you ever play that?
You got to kill the frog.
Oh, man.
That guy needs a new car.
My up, my up,
my up, my up, my up!
Lawrence is gonna make a sale.
That's like seeing
the lunar eclipse.
Well, not that I wouldn't
like to watch,
but we've got customers waiting.
Hey, there, good afternoon.
What happened?
Uh, his mother-in-law
hit a telephone pole.
What, so you convinced him it
wasn't that bad? Easy, "o. "
He didn't want a new car.
You know how people
come in here,
thinking we can do body work?
So, what, you... you...
You're sending him
to your cousin's place
over in Northridge?
Yeah, someone should get a piece
of the pie, right?
How does that grab you?
Thoreau body shop
under your management.
Be a lot of work for my guys.
Well, I agree.
I see four, five jobs a week
come through here
on the way to someplace else.
It's complicated shit, though.
We got the space,
but we got to ventilate
and manage the toxins.
Well, make a list
of what you need,
and we'll build it out
a little at a time.
I've been chewing your dad's ear
about it for a while now,
but he never had the balls.
Well...
No offense, junior,
but I didn't think
you had it in you, either.
Uh, think of me
not as Owen junior,
but as Owen 2.0.
Okay.
Erin: Oh, my God.
Hey.
I am never gonna hear
the end of this.
Young man: No
glove, no love, Miz Riley!
See?
You got time for lunch?
Oh, I only have 15 minutes.
Perfect.
Okay.
Big plans for Halloween?
I'm going to see my brother,
but otherwise, no.
Not really.
I hate Halloween.
Yeah. I do too.
Ugh.
Yeah?
It used to be so fun,
but now it's just like
this excuse
for women to dress
in slutty costumes.
Right?
Yeah, I'm usually the Dick
sitting at home
with the lights out
'cause I forgot to buy treats.
Oh, they don't even come near
my building.
It looks too condemned.
Maybe we should,
uh, brave it together.
You know, you could come over,
pass out candy.
And contribute
to childhood obesity?
I am so in.
Gonna dress slutty?
I'm gonna do even better.
I'm gonna be slutty.
♪ put on your roller skates ♪
♪ Try and catch me
if you can ♪
so, uh, I heard about the
body shop from Chet in service.
Is that really gonna happen?
Uh, not overnight,
but, yeah, I'm working on it.
Oh. That's cool...
For the service guys.
How much your cousin pay you
for those referrals?
What? What are you...
What are you talking about?
50 bucks.
How about 75?
Any job that comes in
with your name on it...
And that goes
for all the salesmen.
Bring it in. Hmm?
No, no, no.
Just go... go spread the news.
Will do. Will do.
Oh, by the way,
i am loving the funk.
Tell mark if that grill
isn't going,
i'm divorcing him.
I'm serious.
Molly. Hey.
Terry!
Hey.
Hello, hello.
Hi.
This Tallulah?
Yeah.
Wow! Look at you!
Hi!
Uh, Jennifer couldn't come?
Ohh.
That's... hoo...
That's actually a long time ago.
Oh. I'm so sorry.
Oh, no, no.
It's good.
Mm.
I- I'm seeing
someone new.
Oh! Well...
Well, you never know.
Right?
Right.
You should see
the cast of characters...
Bald Lawrence,
who probably still lives
with his mother,
Marcus, Mr. cocky,
$800 suits...
They're good guys underneath.
Or maybe I'm getting used
to them... I don't know.
Money's not bad, either.
That's good, right?
You still go to your auditions?
No, no, no. See?
I've sort of given that up.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Are you gonna hike
the appalachian trail again?
Come on.
I only did that once.
That's not what I mean.
Oh, right, right.
Last time you were...
You were camping
across America...
That's what you were doing.
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
I did that, too,
but, you see...
This whole thing
that I'm doing...
I'm kind of into it, you know?
I'm... I'm really...
Putting my back into it.
That's great, Ter.
That's great.
How about you?
How about you?
How's the, um...
Home systems integration,
right?
Fantastic.
We are obliterating
the competition.
Give me the salt?
Ever hear from dad?
No.
You?
No. It's so funny.
Never used
to miss a birthday.
Or a little league game?
Always there with those words
of encouragement.
Teaching us how to be men.
that was you on Christmas, remember?
Slow down, sweetie.
Thank your Uncle Terry.
over here. Me.
Scary guy. Ooh-hoo.
Go on. Go on.
Sit down with Jackson.
Get a little... Look at your dad.
♪ but it's all right now ♪
together: Aww.
Shall we open some more?
Thoreau body shop!
Man: More business
and more drinks.
Junior.
Uh-oh. Oh!
Terry: Here's the first piece
of the puzzle, gentlemen...
Our new frame straightener.
Oh, man, this is giving me
the biggest hard-on.
Oh, I feel so sorry
for your wife.
That's terrible.
Listen. Hey.
yeah, we're gonna go over here.
Uh, let's put them...
that's her.
The witch lady?
Yeah. Well, no, no,
but... but...
Okay.
Carlos...
What...
hey. Hi.
How are you?
Want me to ring
that balloon up for you?
N- no. No, thanks.
If you don't find
what you need,
you know, we have
a whole order section.
I wasn't even
gonna come in here,
but I know
it's what burton wanted.
You know, he didn't say so
in so many words,
but I know my son.
Oh. Oh, yeah.
Your son? Yeah.
Burton.
Burton?
Burton manfranco.
I know it's a little strange
for your bookie's mother
to be coming in here,
but he said
you were a nice guy.
A little weird, but nice.
He's one to talk!
You're, uh,
you're manfro's mom?
Angelpuss, that's what
I've been telling you.
Yeah. Uh...
Come... come on in here.
Come on. Let's...
Yeah, over right here.
Come right in here.
Um... I don't know
what he told you, but...
But I'm even, and I don't even
do that anymore.
Well, you think burton sends
his own ma in to collect?
I told you,
I didn't even want to come here.
But I've been driving
from tarzana every day.
And I don't like the freeways.
And I've got glaucoma
in this eye.
My right eye.
And so he's alone every night.
He talks about you.
Well... Okay. Um...
Like I say...
Joe, burton's sick.
Cancer.
What?
Is it serious?
It's the colon.
They did the operation
where they take part of it out.
I keep telling him
he's got to take the chemo.
He's dragging his feet
10 ways to Sunday.
Listen, um...
Wow. Sorry. That's...
Sorry about everything.
Um, please give him my best.
He's, um...
He's a good guy.
It'd be nice if a person
could say that face to face,
especially when they're
in the neighborhood.
Uh, this is our busiest season,
and it's just really hard
for me to get away right now.
Hmm.
I thought you were his friend.
Well, I gambled with him.
Didn't you swim?
Yeah.
Didn't you golf?
Yeah.
Well, that's something.
Why don't you just drop by?
Yeah, no, listen...
I get it.
I just... this is...
It's the busiest week
of the year,
and it's just...
I can't get out right now.
Here.
That's his address.
Look... Mrs. Manfranco,
listen, please...
I got a thing with gambling.
Only it's not a thing...
Anymore,
because I'm not doing it
right now.
I'm not around it.
You understand?
I can't be around it.
Do you have kids?
Yeah.
Well, that's all
I'm doing.
Well...
Well, thanks for coming down.
It was a nice surprise for the kids.
Sure.
Get to see their famous
Uncle Terry.
Hardly.
Oh. Uh, listen.
It's just the first
installment.
I should be able to pay it all
off in the next few months.
What is this?
The jeep.
Remember, I was working
construction over in calabasas,
and the truck broke down
and you helped me out.
Yeah. I didn't expect you
to pay me back.
Why not?
Well, I don't know,
it's just...
You know.
Hang on to it. You never know
when you're gonna need it.
Oh, no, mark, look, I'm serious.
I'm all set.
It's okay.
No, no, I want you to have it!
I'm good. No, this is stupid.
Come on. Take the check.
I got to go help Molly.
God help us, she read some
article about composting...
For all I know,
she's in the back
scraping plates into a hole.
Trick or treat.
Hey, Joe.
Hmm? Anybody home?
Hey.
Yeah. Hi.
Where's the rest
of the costume?
This is it, Joe.
I'm a horny little devil
stuck in boring louisville.
Yeah... Take the thing off.
Right?
Ohh, I'm so bored!
Ugh, another two hours
before I...
Get to go to some lame
Halloween party in the lounge
and get shit-faced with a bunch
of cola distributors.
What are you doin?
Oh, nothing.
Just, uh...
I'm trying to decide
if I should go visit
this friend of mine or not,
but, uh, I don't
really want to go, and...
He's not really my friend.
Big dilemma.
Don't go.
Yeah.
Yeah, except... I don't know...
He's kind of alone,
and he's not really
the nicest guy.
Very well, then.
By all means, rush right over.
Yeah. I know.
It's kind of on my mind.
Plus
I got this weird hair
on my face.
All right. Yeah.
Thanks for sharin'.
Just stickin' out the side
of my nose.
It's like a...
I don't know...
It's like a super whisker.
Joe, I am so losing my boner
right now.
Boo-weep!
Uh-huh. Got it.
You didn't know
you were dating a cat.
Ooh!
Whoo. Yeah!
Meow!
Yah!
That's more like it, babe.
Yeah.
Let me hear you roar,
tiger!
Oh...
Sup?
Uh... Where I put?
Just... Yeah.
Put that anywhere.
I'm just...
Uh, not right in the...
It's in front of the door.
Oh...
Ah.
Yeah.
Music, costumes...
Guess it's the new world order.
What the hell?
Uh...
Did you buy
that frame straightener?
Yes.
And you got it from wing over
at the auto mall. Daddy...
He owes
me a favor, so I'll...
Call him first thing
in the morning,
and he'll pick it up
before Janice even
gets the invoice.
Wait.
Just hold on a minute.
I knew that you would react
this way, but hear me out.
Son, we can't buy it.
Daddy, this is not something
I did willy-nilly.
I'm sure it's not.
Well, just listen.
Okay?
The sales and service guys,
you know they've been at
each other's throats lately.
That's hardly news.
Yeah, well, with a body shop,
the service guys
will have more work,
and at the same time,
the sales guys will get
more face time
with the customers.
Plus, Scarpulla doesn't even
have a body shop.
So, there's that.
It sounds good.
I've had that idea myself
a time or two.
So...
We still can't do it.
Daddy, I thought you were
handing me the reins. Right?
So when we were out in anaheim,
it was all
"the future is the present. "
What was that?
I meant it.
So, what's the problem?
Problem is, we don't have
that kind of cash on hand.
Well, of c-course we do.
I've looked at the books.
Well, there's books,
then there's books.
Daddy, what the hell
are you talking about?
There's ins and outs
of the business
I haven't explained to you yet.
Next time, just run
this sort of thing by me first.
But if there's a problem
with the business
that I need to know about...
It's not a problem, son.
It's a... it's a... Situation.
You remember before the economy
hit the crapper,
we were gog to open
a glendale Thoreau?
Yeah, but I thought
that didn't happen.
It didn't,
but before it didn't happen,
I bought this property.
You never told me that.
No. No, no, I didn't.
Anyway, I made
this, uh, ca offer.
It was a hell of a deal.
Practically stole the thing,
and then the damn
recession hit,
and we had to ease up
on payroll taxes.
Now, nobody's going to prison.
We'll pay the taxes back
over the next few years.
Next few years?
I'll have Cedric over
in accounting explain it to you.
So, what you're saying
to me is that,
as far as anything
I want to do,
any changes,
any improvements...
Unless you want to get us
shut down,
yes, you pay it first.
I'm not saying don't pay it,
but why don't we just sell
this property out in glendale?
In this economy?
That would be foolish.
No, you just wait it out.
For years?
For as long as it takes.
Oh ho.
You are inheriting a business
that I built
from the ground up, so...
Daddy, what am I supposed
to tell the guys?
I made promises!
You're the boss.
You tell them
whatever you like.
Well, maybe I should
tell them the truth.
You want people jumping off
of a sinking ship,
then you just...
Just go ahead.
You be my guest.
$34.12.
Oh, damn it.
Nothing.
It's nothing.
You remember the guy
that I came in with last time?
Skinny guy,
gets his coffee here?
I remember.
Have you... have you
seen him lately?
He is getting his coffee
someplace else.
Yeah, no, I don't...
I don't think that's it.
Oh!
Ah, geez.
Joe, what the hell
are you doing?
Oh, man, you scared me there.
I thought you were
some asshole kid.
Come on in.
I forgot to buy freakin' candy.
Thought about
giving them nails.
Hurry up, hurry up,
before they see me.
So, what do we have here?
Another kessel street dropout?
12 steps not doing it for you?
Ah, no, no.
No, I saw this.
Thought you might want it.
Yeah.
You're kidding!
Joe!
I love
these freakin' masks,
yeah, that's...
That's you.
It's the greatest moment of my life.
That's good.
Hey, you want a beer?
Uh...
Look, the game's on.
Sit down for five minutes.
Hey, what's up, 2.0?
Listen, I've been
going over this list.
Hey there's a problem.
Okay.
I made a mistake.
All right. Shut up.
I got it from
the drama department
at the last possible second.
It's lady MacBeth,
if anyone cares.
Ohh. Lord!
They're supposed
to dry-clean these.
I can smell teen sweat.
Ohh! And body spray!
Ew!
I've only had one kid so far,
and it was a kid
from the building.
And it was a baby.
Wow. Really?
Even with the big bars?
Huh.
Well,
babies do love these.
Hey.
I know we both hate Halloween
and everything,
but I thought the whole point
of this was to try not to.
I know.
I know, and I'm sorry.
I just... I...
I went to see my brother
yesterday, and he just...
I don't...
You ever feel sometimes
like you're in some...
Big charade?
You know, I was telling him
about all the stuff
that I was doing, you know?
The job, quitting acting,
actually making a living,
you know?
I could just tell
that he was going in his head,
"yep.
Just another Terry phase. "
You know?
Mm.
Mm.
Well, is it?
A phase? No.
Oh, I don't know.
I don't think so.
You know, maybe I am
just... Pretending.
I've been a whole other kind
of guy for a long time now.
Maybe... It doesn't matter
what I do...
I'm just that guy forever now.
Well...
I mean, so much of life
is an act, isn't it?
You know...
I pretend every day that...
My... my high-school kids are
actually gonna make it and...
Pretending I'm not worried
about dying old and alone,
choking on a butterscotch.
Here's to pretending.
Are you pretending
with me?
No.
Mm.
You do know you're not actually
Captain America, though, right?
I don't think Captain America
ever pulled a hamstring
getting into his costume.
Air the ball out, you mother...
I had that corner-back.
What's the line on this one?
Look at Joe...
Wanting to know the line.
No, I-I told you,
I'm done with all that.
If you say so, Joe.
So, Joe...
What if somebody told you he had
a 69% chance of living...
But he can get something...
Let's call it chemo...
That would make it 74%?
Think he should do it?
Yeah,
I- I think you should.
Did I say it was me?
Yeah.
I mean, your mom came in
the store, and...
She kind of mentioned...
Cancer up my ass.
Yeah.
Then I
I didn't know what to do,
because, you know,
with me still trying
to quit gambling and all...
I mean, I sympathize.
I just...
I just didn't think
it was a good idea to come,
you know, and...
I got you, Joe.
The lion's den, so to speak.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, but, so then I was...
You know, I was torn
about the whole thing,
so I just...
Well...
I went in the deli...
You remember the guy
there... Mahmoud...
Ma-fartface?
Yeah, I was in there,
and I was still...
I bet myself in my mind.
I just said, "look,
"if Mahmoud says hello,
I'm not gonna go.
But if he doesn't
say hello... "
Of course he didn't say hello.
He's a Dick.
You would have come
either way, though.
I know you, Joe.
Well, I mean, no, you know,
once I make a mind bet,
I got to stick to it.
Otherwise,
there's really no jeopardy.
But you knew
he never says hello.
So you stake the odds
in your favor.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm just saying,
I just...
I would have to
stick to it, though.
Well, now that you're here...
How about you think
like a gambler?
Tell me if you take the odds
I mentioned on that chemo.
Well, why wouldn't I?
I mean, if they're gonna
increase your chances, right?
A stinkin' 5%.
Still...
Because it's
an ass kicker, Joe.
First all your hair falls out.
I mean all of it...
Pubes, eyebrows.
Picture is face
with no eyebrows.
That's some Scary shit.
Now, then there's diarrhea,
vomit...
Mouth sores, chemo-brain,
which means,
"loo-loo-loo. "
That always happens, though?
The...
You know, 5%, though...
5% rounds up.
Yeah. I mean, I always thought
it was weird,
but that is an actual
mathematical principle...
That with 5%,
you round up, so...
Theoretically, it's 10%...
Really.
Your math's
a little funny, there.
No, I mean, I'm just saying,
you're still...
Okay, I hear you, weirdo.
I mean, I got to take care
of myself, right?
Bullet-head's not
gonna feed himself.
Hey. Come on.
Hey, save the tears, Joe.
I'm kidding.
This shithead can lick
his balls.
What is he gonna
complain about?
What is the...
I'm not just...
I'm just asking...
What's the line on this one?
What do you think it is?
41/2.
Bingo.
See?
Who would you have taken?
Nah, I don't want to play that.
probably cal, though.
I mean, you got to take cal.
Wow, the color is amazing.
1080p, baby.
1080p.
Hey, babe.
I'll be home in a few minutes.
Yeah. Well, just, uh...
Take the kids around the block,
and, uh, I'll be right there.
Okay.
That's what I call
serious cheddar!
Ha ha!
Yeah!
Hey, I thought you had
the day off.
Oh, I just came by
to get my check...
And to pick out my demo.
Ah. Feels good to finally be
selling some cars, doesn't it?
It does not suck.
What happened...
Melissa make you clean out
the garage or something?
Oh, no.
This is the future, man.
Vinyl? I think
you got that backwards.
No, I want to get rid
of all this muzak shit.
Class up the place
with a little, uh, herbie
and maybe some miles.
I got some '60s funk
that'll blow your mind!
Oh, yeah, boss.
Maybe throw in a little rap.
No.
Sync by: flapinha for addic7ed. com
Corrected by: dny238
Seen Bruce?
I'm taking him fishing.
Unless, of course,
you need him to help organize
your record collection.
Oh, go on. Laugh.
Heads up.
Lawrence is coming.
Yes, I'm just trying to talk the
boss into giving you the day off.
Too nice a day
not to be out on the water.
Sorry, guys.
I got to talk to Owen.
There's a problem?
Yeah, there's a problem.
That fat load in service
just called me a dwarf
in front of a customer!
Uh, what do you prefer...
"Little person"?
Oh, yeah. That's funny.
I know. I know.
But you know what?
Not in front of an up.
Okay? That's so not cool!
Yo. Yo, son?
You need to go talk
to your boy Jesse again.
I just told him I needed
to spot-clean a malibu,
'cause some jerks baby
threw up in the backseat.
He told me it was gonna
take him an hour, Owen!
My customer walked out.
Yeah. They do that on purpose.
All right? They hate us!
Now, hold on a minute.
Let's just everybody calm down.
No, I won't calm down!
All right?!
Well, then...
I think we've got a boat
to catch.
Are you coming?
I am now.
I- I'll handle it.
I'll handle it.
Hey. Good to see you.
Hey, Dashaun.
We need some vampire teeth here.
I can't keep them
on the shelves, Mr. t.
All those "twilight"
movies, man.
Yeah, yeah, but...
That's the sexy, teen,
"look at my muscles" vampire.
All right?
What about Dracula?
Just plain old Dracula.
Yeah. Dracula.
That's old-school.
No, that's the real deal.
The white face, cape,
and "I vant to suck
your blood... "
A little respect for Dracula.
Everybody forgets
who starts stuff.
Oh, God.
Hey, Dashaun.
Is there hair on my face?
I keep seeing this thing...
It's like in the corner
of my eye...
Think it is...
And then I look in the mirror,
and it's... it's gone.
It's weird.
I know it's right in there,
'cause I press down,
and it goes away,
and then... bam, it's back up,
it's flickering around.
It's...
Take a look at this lady.
Don't look.
Don't look right now.
An old lady over there
just kind of giving me
the stink-eye.
Shoplifter?
No.
I think so.
No.
Hey, Maria.
Did that lady buy something?
The lady with the purple thing?
I don't think so.
Why?
She's a shoplifter.
No, no. Come on.
We don't know that.
We don't know that.
Just everybody...
You know what...
Keep an eye out,
'cause this holiday
just brings out the weirdos.
I think it's so sad
when old people steal.
I guess that's what happens
when you're old
and you don't have a family.
Hmm.
oh.
I'm sorry, Mr. T.
I got a family.
Okay?
And... and...
How old do you guys think I am?
Seriously.
Take a guess.
Unh-unh. My mom slapped someone
for this exact thing.
Come on.
There's no wrong answer.
I'm a guy. I don't care.
Just take a guess.
65.
Really?
I don't...
I don't know, Mr. t.
Maybe she a witch.
What?
The lady.
A witch?
Halloween they come.
Maybe, Carlos.
Never know, right?
Terry: Yeah, I know.
Yeah.
But how many times is my nephew
gonna turn 6?
Yeah. Yea, funny, wise-ass.
Just tell Molly
I'm coming, okay?
And, uh...
What kind of flowers
does she like?
No, Dick, no.
I didn't steal the phone.
This is actually your brother.
Okay.
Okay!
What time's the party start?
Lawrence: Put me down!
Hey! Hey!
Put me down!
Put me down!
This is a new suit.
Now come on.
Not cool.
Not cool.
Not cool.
Dickweeds!
So, you guys gonna figure out
a way to work together?
Or do I got to come in here
every day and babysit?
Midget keeps coming in
and checking
on his stupid impala
every 15 minutes,
and I told him
if he did it again,
he was going in the dumpster.
I saw you sneak that silverado
ahead of me!
Hey, your homey told me
it was an "emergency. "
You guys got to get
your act together.
Yeah. Sorry, man.
My bad.
Look, if I got to light a fire under
these guys' asses to get results...
Just keep it up, slick.
Just keep it up.
Hey, I know you ain't gonna throw
me in te dumpster, fat boy.
He doesn't think he's going
in the dumpster. Try it.
Guys, guys, guys, guys!
Just... can we knock this off,
please? Sit down, sit down.
Sit down.
Now, look...
All this finger pointing...
It isn't gonna solve
the problem. Okay?
Here's the thing...
We're a family,
and every family
has its problems, right?
Right?!
You know what I'm talking about.
Somebody always feels invisible
or under-appreciated
or misunderstood.
But underneath it all,
there's a whole lot of love!
Look...
We're at war here.
Okay?
We're at war with the grinders
and... and... and the roaches
with bad credit
and... and the soccer moms
who want to chisel so far
into your commission
that you got to tell junior,
"you're not getting a birthday
present this year. "
Oh, yeah, we're at war,
all right...
We're at war with scarpulla
down the road
and... and Toyota
and Japan and Germany
and the U.S. government,
for christ sakes!
But we are not at war
with each other!
We are a team!
We're a team!
It's us against them!
Us against all those...
Suckers!
So, what do you say
we get united today,
right this minute,
and win the goddamn war?
Can we go now?
Yeah, okay.
Just, um...
Just go, uh, hug it out
or something, okay?
These knuckleheads.
Can't see the forest
for the trees.
Typical workplace stuff.
A lot of resentment caused
by conflicting incentives.
I'm just saying.
The service guys...
They're just punching a clock
day in and day out.
But the salesmen
have the opportunity to...
Bounce a grape,
lay someone away.
It's exciting.
Oh, God.
Listen to him.
Talking all
"car businessy. "
Hmm.
Well, I got to hand it to him.
He's our number 2 this month.
No kidding? Really? Just got myselfmm.
Yep. A brand-new Icd tv.
HD, 1080p, 3-d ready.
You heard that right.
Who knew there was a capitalist
beneath that hemp exterior?
Never thought it could be me.
Weren't you the one who said
the car-salesman thing
is too, um, Sisyphean?
Well, yeah, but...
Well, you know what camus said
about sisyphus.
Thanks for this.
He said that no matter
how absurd and meaningless
our lives are,
the struggle alone is enough
to give us satisfaction.
Yeah.
Which is just the opposite
of how he used to think, right?
Whatever freaky little thing
makes him sell the cars.
Certainly not that music.
He's become you now.
We got to listen to his music
all day long.
He's playing
his jazz collection.
Nah, come on.
What, that, uh...
♪ Bup bup bup bee whoo ♪
"I'm a genius. "
Do I have to explain
jazz again?
It's not
♪ bup bup bup bee ♪
here comes the jazz face.
Oh, God.
Boppety,
boppety-bap-bap-bah!
Jazz sucks.
It's not just jazz.
It's funk, too. Come on by.
Terry: No, don't go by tomorrow.
I won't be there.
My nephew's turning 6.
Going down to carlsbad
for the party.
Oh, mark?
Mark's place?
Yeah, time sure goes by, huh?
I can't believe my little bro's
all grown up.
Got two kids now.
I guess his business
is doing really well.
What is it...
What does he do?
Uh, he installs...
Some shit.
He does, uh,
home systems integration.
How is it I remember that
and he can't?
Well, I haven't seen him
in a couple years.
He lives an hour away.
Yeah, with no traffic.
21/2 during rush hour.
Yeah, okay,
but that's yobrother.
Yeah, well, I'm going to go
see him, okay?
That's what I'm saying,
so... Geez.
If it was a hot girl,
you would have designed
some kind of rocket sled.
Yeah, well...
He and I, we just...
It's complicated, okay?
You know that.
By the way, fellas,
breakfast is on me.
Did he just do that?
I got to get a picture of this.
Oh, no.
I hit the...
Oh, that's a game.
Do you ever play that?
You got to kill the frog.
Oh, man.
That guy needs a new car.
My up, my up,
my up, my up, my up!
Lawrence is gonna make a sale.
That's like seeing
the lunar eclipse.
Well, not that I wouldn't
like to watch,
but we've got customers waiting.
Hey, there, good afternoon.
What happened?
Uh, his mother-in-law
hit a telephone pole.
What, so you convinced him it
wasn't that bad? Easy, "o. "
He didn't want a new car.
You know how people
come in here,
thinking we can do body work?
So, what, you... you...
You're sending him
to your cousin's place
over in Northridge?
Yeah, someone should get a piece
of the pie, right?
How does that grab you?
Thoreau body shop
under your management.
Be a lot of work for my guys.
Well, I agree.
I see four, five jobs a week
come through here
on the way to someplace else.
It's complicated shit, though.
We got the space,
but we got to ventilate
and manage the toxins.
Well, make a list
of what you need,
and we'll build it out
a little at a time.
I've been chewing your dad's ear
about it for a while now,
but he never had the balls.
Well...
No offense, junior,
but I didn't think
you had it in you, either.
Uh, think of me
not as Owen junior,
but as Owen 2.0.
Okay.
Erin: Oh, my God.
Hey.
I am never gonna hear
the end of this.
Young man: No
glove, no love, Miz Riley!
See?
You got time for lunch?
Oh, I only have 15 minutes.
Perfect.
Okay.
Big plans for Halloween?
I'm going to see my brother,
but otherwise, no.
Not really.
I hate Halloween.
Yeah. I do too.
Ugh.
Yeah?
It used to be so fun,
but now it's just like
this excuse
for women to dress
in slutty costumes.
Right?
Yeah, I'm usually the Dick
sitting at home
with the lights out
'cause I forgot to buy treats.
Oh, they don't even come near
my building.
It looks too condemned.
Maybe we should,
uh, brave it together.
You know, you could come over,
pass out candy.
And contribute
to childhood obesity?
I am so in.
Gonna dress slutty?
I'm gonna do even better.
I'm gonna be slutty.
♪ put on your roller skates ♪
♪ Try and catch me
if you can ♪
so, uh, I heard about the
body shop from Chet in service.
Is that really gonna happen?
Uh, not overnight,
but, yeah, I'm working on it.
Oh. That's cool...
For the service guys.
How much your cousin pay you
for those referrals?
What? What are you...
What are you talking about?
50 bucks.
How about 75?
Any job that comes in
with your name on it...
And that goes
for all the salesmen.
Bring it in. Hmm?
No, no, no.
Just go... go spread the news.
Will do. Will do.
Oh, by the way,
i am loving the funk.
Tell mark if that grill
isn't going,
i'm divorcing him.
I'm serious.
Molly. Hey.
Terry!
Hey.
Hello, hello.
Hi.
This Tallulah?
Yeah.
Wow! Look at you!
Hi!
Uh, Jennifer couldn't come?
Ohh.
That's... hoo...
That's actually a long time ago.
Oh. I'm so sorry.
Oh, no, no.
It's good.
Mm.
I- I'm seeing
someone new.
Oh! Well...
Well, you never know.
Right?
Right.
You should see
the cast of characters...
Bald Lawrence,
who probably still lives
with his mother,
Marcus, Mr. cocky,
$800 suits...
They're good guys underneath.
Or maybe I'm getting used
to them... I don't know.
Money's not bad, either.
That's good, right?
You still go to your auditions?
No, no, no. See?
I've sort of given that up.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Are you gonna hike
the appalachian trail again?
Come on.
I only did that once.
That's not what I mean.
Oh, right, right.
Last time you were...
You were camping
across America...
That's what you were doing.
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
I did that, too,
but, you see...
This whole thing
that I'm doing...
I'm kind of into it, you know?
I'm... I'm really...
Putting my back into it.
That's great, Ter.
That's great.
How about you?
How about you?
How's the, um...
Home systems integration,
right?
Fantastic.
We are obliterating
the competition.
Give me the salt?
Ever hear from dad?
No.
You?
No. It's so funny.
Never used
to miss a birthday.
Or a little league game?
Always there with those words
of encouragement.
Teaching us how to be men.
that was you on Christmas, remember?
Slow down, sweetie.
Thank your Uncle Terry.
over here. Me.
Scary guy. Ooh-hoo.
Go on. Go on.
Sit down with Jackson.
Get a little... Look at your dad.
♪ but it's all right now ♪
together: Aww.
Shall we open some more?
Thoreau body shop!
Man: More business
and more drinks.
Junior.
Uh-oh. Oh!
Terry: Here's the first piece
of the puzzle, gentlemen...
Our new frame straightener.
Oh, man, this is giving me
the biggest hard-on.
Oh, I feel so sorry
for your wife.
That's terrible.
Listen. Hey.
yeah, we're gonna go over here.
Uh, let's put them...
that's her.
The witch lady?
Yeah. Well, no, no,
but... but...
Okay.
Carlos...
What...
hey. Hi.
How are you?
Want me to ring
that balloon up for you?
N- no. No, thanks.
If you don't find
what you need,
you know, we have
a whole order section.
I wasn't even
gonna come in here,
but I know
it's what burton wanted.
You know, he didn't say so
in so many words,
but I know my son.
Oh. Oh, yeah.
Your son? Yeah.
Burton.
Burton?
Burton manfranco.
I know it's a little strange
for your bookie's mother
to be coming in here,
but he said
you were a nice guy.
A little weird, but nice.
He's one to talk!
You're, uh,
you're manfro's mom?
Angelpuss, that's what
I've been telling you.
Yeah. Uh...
Come... come on in here.
Come on. Let's...
Yeah, over right here.
Come right in here.
Um... I don't know
what he told you, but...
But I'm even, and I don't even
do that anymore.
Well, you think burton sends
his own ma in to collect?
I told you,
I didn't even want to come here.
But I've been driving
from tarzana every day.
And I don't like the freeways.
And I've got glaucoma
in this eye.
My right eye.
And so he's alone every night.
He talks about you.
Well... Okay. Um...
Like I say...
Joe, burton's sick.
Cancer.
What?
Is it serious?
It's the colon.
They did the operation
where they take part of it out.
I keep telling him
he's got to take the chemo.
He's dragging his feet
10 ways to Sunday.
Listen, um...
Wow. Sorry. That's...
Sorry about everything.
Um, please give him my best.
He's, um...
He's a good guy.
It'd be nice if a person
could say that face to face,
especially when they're
in the neighborhood.
Uh, this is our busiest season,
and it's just really hard
for me to get away right now.
Hmm.
I thought you were his friend.
Well, I gambled with him.
Didn't you swim?
Yeah.
Didn't you golf?
Yeah.
Well, that's something.
Why don't you just drop by?
Yeah, no, listen...
I get it.
I just... this is...
It's the busiest week
of the year,
and it's just...
I can't get out right now.
Here.
That's his address.
Look... Mrs. Manfranco,
listen, please...
I got a thing with gambling.
Only it's not a thing...
Anymore,
because I'm not doing it
right now.
I'm not around it.
You understand?
I can't be around it.
Do you have kids?
Yeah.
Well, that's all
I'm doing.
Well...
Well, thanks for coming down.
It was a nice surprise for the kids.
Sure.
Get to see their famous
Uncle Terry.
Hardly.
Oh. Uh, listen.
It's just the first
installment.
I should be able to pay it all
off in the next few months.
What is this?
The jeep.
Remember, I was working
construction over in calabasas,
and the truck broke down
and you helped me out.
Yeah. I didn't expect you
to pay me back.
Why not?
Well, I don't know,
it's just...
You know.
Hang on to it. You never know
when you're gonna need it.
Oh, no, mark, look, I'm serious.
I'm all set.
It's okay.
No, no, I want you to have it!
I'm good. No, this is stupid.
Come on. Take the check.
I got to go help Molly.
God help us, she read some
article about composting...
For all I know,
she's in the back
scraping plates into a hole.
Trick or treat.
Hey, Joe.
Hmm? Anybody home?
Hey.
Yeah. Hi.
Where's the rest
of the costume?
This is it, Joe.
I'm a horny little devil
stuck in boring louisville.
Yeah... Take the thing off.
Right?
Ohh, I'm so bored!
Ugh, another two hours
before I...
Get to go to some lame
Halloween party in the lounge
and get shit-faced with a bunch
of cola distributors.
What are you doin?
Oh, nothing.
Just, uh...
I'm trying to decide
if I should go visit
this friend of mine or not,
but, uh, I don't
really want to go, and...
He's not really my friend.
Big dilemma.
Don't go.
Yeah.
Yeah, except... I don't know...
He's kind of alone,
and he's not really
the nicest guy.
Very well, then.
By all means, rush right over.
Yeah. I know.
It's kind of on my mind.
Plus
I got this weird hair
on my face.
All right. Yeah.
Thanks for sharin'.
Just stickin' out the side
of my nose.
It's like a...
I don't know...
It's like a super whisker.
Joe, I am so losing my boner
right now.
Boo-weep!
Uh-huh. Got it.
You didn't know
you were dating a cat.
Ooh!
Whoo. Yeah!
Meow!
Yah!
That's more like it, babe.
Yeah.
Let me hear you roar,
tiger!
Oh...
Sup?
Uh... Where I put?
Just... Yeah.
Put that anywhere.
I'm just...
Uh, not right in the...
It's in front of the door.
Oh...
Ah.
Yeah.
Music, costumes...
Guess it's the new world order.
What the hell?
Uh...
Did you buy
that frame straightener?
Yes.
And you got it from wing over
at the auto mall. Daddy...
He owes
me a favor, so I'll...
Call him first thing
in the morning,
and he'll pick it up
before Janice even
gets the invoice.
Wait.
Just hold on a minute.
I knew that you would react
this way, but hear me out.
Son, we can't buy it.
Daddy, this is not something
I did willy-nilly.
I'm sure it's not.
Well, just listen.
Okay?
The sales and service guys,
you know they've been at
each other's throats lately.
That's hardly news.
Yeah, well, with a body shop,
the service guys
will have more work,
and at the same time,
the sales guys will get
more face time
with the customers.
Plus, Scarpulla doesn't even
have a body shop.
So, there's that.
It sounds good.
I've had that idea myself
a time or two.
So...
We still can't do it.
Daddy, I thought you were
handing me the reins. Right?
So when we were out in anaheim,
it was all
"the future is the present. "
What was that?
I meant it.
So, what's the problem?
Problem is, we don't have
that kind of cash on hand.
Well, of c-course we do.
I've looked at the books.
Well, there's books,
then there's books.
Daddy, what the hell
are you talking about?
There's ins and outs
of the business
I haven't explained to you yet.
Next time, just run
this sort of thing by me first.
But if there's a problem
with the business
that I need to know about...
It's not a problem, son.
It's a... it's a... Situation.
You remember before the economy
hit the crapper,
we were gog to open
a glendale Thoreau?
Yeah, but I thought
that didn't happen.
It didn't,
but before it didn't happen,
I bought this property.
You never told me that.
No. No, no, I didn't.
Anyway, I made
this, uh, ca offer.
It was a hell of a deal.
Practically stole the thing,
and then the damn
recession hit,
and we had to ease up
on payroll taxes.
Now, nobody's going to prison.
We'll pay the taxes back
over the next few years.
Next few years?
I'll have Cedric over
in accounting explain it to you.
So, what you're saying
to me is that,
as far as anything
I want to do,
any changes,
any improvements...
Unless you want to get us
shut down,
yes, you pay it first.
I'm not saying don't pay it,
but why don't we just sell
this property out in glendale?
In this economy?
That would be foolish.
No, you just wait it out.
For years?
For as long as it takes.
Oh ho.
You are inheriting a business
that I built
from the ground up, so...
Daddy, what am I supposed
to tell the guys?
I made promises!
You're the boss.
You tell them
whatever you like.
Well, maybe I should
tell them the truth.
You want people jumping off
of a sinking ship,
then you just...
Just go ahead.
You be my guest.
$34.12.
Oh, damn it.
Nothing.
It's nothing.
You remember the guy
that I came in with last time?
Skinny guy,
gets his coffee here?
I remember.
Have you... have you
seen him lately?
He is getting his coffee
someplace else.
Yeah, no, I don't...
I don't think that's it.
Oh!
Ah, geez.
Joe, what the hell
are you doing?
Oh, man, you scared me there.
I thought you were
some asshole kid.
Come on in.
I forgot to buy freakin' candy.
Thought about
giving them nails.
Hurry up, hurry up,
before they see me.
So, what do we have here?
Another kessel street dropout?
12 steps not doing it for you?
Ah, no, no.
No, I saw this.
Thought you might want it.
Yeah.
You're kidding!
Joe!
I love
these freakin' masks,
yeah, that's...
That's you.
It's the greatest moment of my life.
That's good.
Hey, you want a beer?
Uh...
Look, the game's on.
Sit down for five minutes.
Hey, what's up, 2.0?
Listen, I've been
going over this list.
Hey there's a problem.
Okay.
I made a mistake.
All right. Shut up.
I got it from
the drama department
at the last possible second.
It's lady MacBeth,
if anyone cares.
Ohh. Lord!
They're supposed
to dry-clean these.
I can smell teen sweat.
Ohh! And body spray!
Ew!
I've only had one kid so far,
and it was a kid
from the building.
And it was a baby.
Wow. Really?
Even with the big bars?
Huh.
Well,
babies do love these.
Hey.
I know we both hate Halloween
and everything,
but I thought the whole point
of this was to try not to.
I know.
I know, and I'm sorry.
I just... I...
I went to see my brother
yesterday, and he just...
I don't...
You ever feel sometimes
like you're in some...
Big charade?
You know, I was telling him
about all the stuff
that I was doing, you know?
The job, quitting acting,
actually making a living,
you know?
I could just tell
that he was going in his head,
"yep.
Just another Terry phase. "
You know?
Mm.
Mm.
Well, is it?
A phase? No.
Oh, I don't know.
I don't think so.
You know, maybe I am
just... Pretending.
I've been a whole other kind
of guy for a long time now.
Maybe... It doesn't matter
what I do...
I'm just that guy forever now.
Well...
I mean, so much of life
is an act, isn't it?
You know...
I pretend every day that...
My... my high-school kids are
actually gonna make it and...
Pretending I'm not worried
about dying old and alone,
choking on a butterscotch.
Here's to pretending.
Are you pretending
with me?
No.
Mm.
You do know you're not actually
Captain America, though, right?
I don't think Captain America
ever pulled a hamstring
getting into his costume.
Air the ball out, you mother...
I had that corner-back.
What's the line on this one?
Look at Joe...
Wanting to know the line.
No, I-I told you,
I'm done with all that.
If you say so, Joe.
So, Joe...
What if somebody told you he had
a 69% chance of living...
But he can get something...
Let's call it chemo...
That would make it 74%?
Think he should do it?
Yeah,
I- I think you should.
Did I say it was me?
Yeah.
I mean, your mom came in
the store, and...
She kind of mentioned...
Cancer up my ass.
Yeah.
Then I
I didn't know what to do,
because, you know,
with me still trying
to quit gambling and all...
I mean, I sympathize.
I just...
I just didn't think
it was a good idea to come,
you know, and...
I got you, Joe.
The lion's den, so to speak.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, but, so then I was...
You know, I was torn
about the whole thing,
so I just...
Well...
I went in the deli...
You remember the guy
there... Mahmoud...
Ma-fartface?
Yeah, I was in there,
and I was still...
I bet myself in my mind.
I just said, "look,
"if Mahmoud says hello,
I'm not gonna go.
But if he doesn't
say hello... "
Of course he didn't say hello.
He's a Dick.
You would have come
either way, though.
I know you, Joe.
Well, I mean, no, you know,
once I make a mind bet,
I got to stick to it.
Otherwise,
there's really no jeopardy.
But you knew
he never says hello.
So you stake the odds
in your favor.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm just saying,
I just...
I would have to
stick to it, though.
Well, now that you're here...
How about you think
like a gambler?
Tell me if you take the odds
I mentioned on that chemo.
Well, why wouldn't I?
I mean, if they're gonna
increase your chances, right?
A stinkin' 5%.
Still...
Because it's
an ass kicker, Joe.
First all your hair falls out.
I mean all of it...
Pubes, eyebrows.
Picture is face
with no eyebrows.
That's some Scary shit.
Now, then there's diarrhea,
vomit...
Mouth sores, chemo-brain,
which means,
"loo-loo-loo. "
That always happens, though?
The...
You know, 5%, though...
5% rounds up.
Yeah. I mean, I always thought
it was weird,
but that is an actual
mathematical principle...
That with 5%,
you round up, so...
Theoretically, it's 10%...
Really.
Your math's
a little funny, there.
No, I mean, I'm just saying,
you're still...
Okay, I hear you, weirdo.
I mean, I got to take care
of myself, right?
Bullet-head's not
gonna feed himself.
Hey. Come on.
Hey, save the tears, Joe.
I'm kidding.
This shithead can lick
his balls.
What is he gonna
complain about?
What is the...
I'm not just...
I'm just asking...
What's the line on this one?
What do you think it is?
41/2.
Bingo.
See?
Who would you have taken?
Nah, I don't want to play that.
probably cal, though.
I mean, you got to take cal.
Wow, the color is amazing.
1080p, baby.
1080p.
Hey, babe.
I'll be home in a few minutes.
Yeah. Well, just, uh...
Take the kids around the block,
and, uh, I'll be right there.
Okay.