Mary Tyler Moore (1970–1977): Season 4, Episode 10 - The Dinner Party - full transcript

♪ WHO CAN TURN THE
WORLD ON WITH HER SMILE ♪

♪ WHO CAN TAKE A NOTHING DAY ♪

♪ AND SUDDENLY MAKE IT
ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE ♪

♪ WELL, IT'S YOU, GIRL
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT ♪

♪ WITH EACH GLANCE AND EVERY
LITTLE MOVEMENT YOU SHOW IT ♪

♪ LOVE IS ALL AROUND
NO NEED TO WASTE IT ♪

♪ YOU CAN HAVE THE TOWN
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT ♪

♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪

♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪♪

[Knocks] MAR, YOU READY TO GO?

YEAH, RHODA. I'LL BE WITH
YOU IN A MINUTE. OKAY.



[Phone Ringing] YOU
WANT ME TO GET THAT?

OH, WOULD YOU? SURE.

HELLO? YES, SHE IS.

WHO'S CALLING?
CONGRESSWOMAN WHO?

WAIT... JUST A...
PHYLLIS, IS THIS YOU?

IT'S GOTTA BE PHYLLIS, MAR.

RHODA, WAIT. I JUST DID AN
INTERVIEW WITH A CONGRESSWOMAN.

YOU DID? GIVE ME THE PHONE.

I'M SORRY. I REALLY AM. BUT I'M
SURE THIS HAPPENS TO YOU A LOT.

I MEAN, WHO WOULD
EXPECT A CONGRESSWOMAN...

TO CALL A NUMBER
THAT I WOULD ANSWER?

UM, HERE'S MARY. THANK YOU.

MRS. GEDDES. YES. OH, WELL,
THAT WAS A FRIEND OF MINE.

YES, I THOUGHT THE
SHOW WENT VERY WELL.



THANK YOU. THAT'S VERY NICE.
THE NEXT TIME I GET TO WASHINGTON,

I'D BE DELIGHTED TO COME
TO YOUR PLACE FOR DINNER.

AND, LISTEN, THE NEXT
TIME YOU'RE IN MINNEAPOLIS,

I WOULD LOVE YOU TO COME
TO MY PLACE FOR DINNER.

FRIDAY?

OH, SURE. YES, THAT
WOULD BE FINE. GREAT.

IT'S 119 NORTH WETHERLEY.

HOW ABOUT 8:00?

GOOD. I'LL LOOK
FORWARD TO IT. BYE-BYE.

RHODA, CONGRESSWOMAN GEDDES
IS COMING HERE FOR DINNER FRIDAY.

THAT'S TOMORROW! OH,
RHODA, WHAT AM I GONNA SERVE?

WHO'LL I INVITE? I JUST
HAVE A DAY TO GET READY.

MARY, JUST A MINUTE. BEFORE
YOU GO THROUGH ALL THAT,

WHY DON'T THE TWO OF YOU JUST
GO OUT TO A NICE RESTAURANT?

NO, I CAN'T TAKE HER
TO A RESTAURANT.

MARY, YOU KNOW
ABOUT YOUR PARTIES.

- WHAT ABOUT MY PARTIES?
- YOU DON'T KNOW
ABOUT YOUR PARTIES?

WHAT ABOUT MY PARTIES? NOTHING.

- COME ON. WHAT ABOUT THEM?
- MARY, I THOUGHT YOU KNEW.

YOUR PARTIES ARE, UH, DISASTERS.

I MEAN, I THOUGHT YOU KNEW.
HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW THAT?

YES, I KNOW. OKAY,
I KNOW. I KNEW.

I JUST DIDN'T KNOW
THAT ANYONE ELSE KNEW.

RHODA, WHY AREN'T I A
WONDERFUL HOSTESS?

YOU KNOW, I SHOULD REALLY
BE A WONDERFUL HOSTESS.

I MEAN, I'VE GOT A WARM
APARTMENT. I SET A NICE TABLE.

I'M A PLEASANT, FRIENDLY
SORT OF PERSON.

I SHOULD GIVE GREAT
PARTIES. ALL RIGHT, MARY.

GIVE THE PARTY. BUT JUST
KEEP IT SMALL THIS TIME.

I MEAN, JUST A SMALL,
CONGENIAL GROUP.

NOW, HOW MANY PEOPLE DO
YOU KNOW THAT LIKE EACH OTHER?

SIX. SIX.

THAT'S HOW MANY I CAN
SEAT AT MY DINING TABLE.

THEN THAT'S ALL YOU SHOULD HAVE.

OH, RHODA, I HOPE THIS
PARTY TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT.

I MEAN, I HOPE I FINALLY
GIVE A GOOD PARTY.

BECAUSE, I MEAN, IF I DON'T,
I'M GONNA START BEING AFRAID...

TO INVITE PEOPLE
OVER HERE, YOU KNOW?

PRETTY SOON PEOPLE WON'T
INVITE ME TO THEIR PLACE,

'CAUSE THEY'LL BE AFRAID
I'LL INVITE 'EM BACK HERE,

AND THEY WON'T WANNA COME.

BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, I'M
GONNA END UP A LITTLE OLD LADY...

SITTING ALONE IN MY
APARTMENT TICKLING MY CAT.

[Laughing]

YES?

UH, MR. GRANT? MM-HMM.

I WAS WONDERING, IF YOU'RE NOT
DOING ANYTHING TOMORROW NIGHT,

IF YOU'D LIKE TO COME
TO MY PLACE FOR DINNER?

SURE. I WAS WONDERING
WHERE I WAS GONNA EAT.

- OH, GREAT. IT'S JUST GONNA BE
A SMALL DINNER PARTY.
- I CAN'T MAKE IT.

MR. GRANT, WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS
JUST GONNA BE DINNER, YOU COULD MAKE IT.

MARY, UH... [Sighs]

I'M GONNA HAVE TO
BE FRANK WITH YOU.

BRUTALLY FRANK.

OKAY? YES, OF COURSE.

YOU GIVE ROTTEN PARTIES.

MR. GRANT, REALLY...

IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T HAVE A
GOOD TIME AT YOUR PARTIES, MARY.

I'VE HAD SOME OF THE WORST
TIMES IN MY LIFE AT YOUR PARTIES.

AGONY. MY WIFE AND I BROKE UP AT
ONE OF YOUR PARTIES. YOU REMEMBER?

[Mutters] NOT THAT I'M HOLDING YOUR
PARTY RESPONSIBLE, YOU UNDERSTAND.

BUT IT SURE DIDN'T HELP.

WELL, I'M GLAD THAT YOU WERE ABLE
TO BE SO, UH, VERY FRANK, MR. GRANT.

I'LL TELL YOU WHY I DON'T HAVE
A GOOD TIME AT YOUR PARTIES.

NO, NO, NO. NO NEED
TO GO INTO ANY OF THAT.

NO. I DON'T LIKE PARTIES...

WHERE THEY RUN
OUT OF SCOTCH EARLY,

AND I HAVE TO DRINK A PUNCH MADE
OUT OF WHITE WINE AND KOOL-AID.

NO, NO, NO, MR. GRANT. THAT WAS
NOT KOOL-AID. THAT WAS CASSIS.

WELL, WHATEVER IT
WAS, IT MADE MY LIPS RED.

IT'S NOT GONNA BE
THAT KIND OF A PARTY.

IT'S GOING TO BE JUST A SMALL DINNER PARTY
THAT I'M GIVING FOR CONGRESSMAN GEDDES.

YOU REMEMBER, WE DID THAT
INTERVIEW SHOW TOGETHER? MM-HMM.

AND IT'LL BE YOU, ME, MURRAY
AND HIS WIFE AND RHODA.

- WHAT ABOUT TED?
- WELL, I'M NOT GONNA
HAVE ROOM FOR TED.

OKAY, ONE POINT FOR YOU.

OH, IT'S JUST SO DEPRESSING, THINKING
ABOUT GOING TO ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR...

BUT I... YOU KNOW, I GUESS
YOU WOULDN'T ASK ME...

IF YOU DIDN'T NEED
ME, SO I'LL BE THERE.

GOOD. I'M GLAD.
THANK YOU, MR. GRANT.

OH, AND, MARY, THIS
IS YOUR LAST SHOT.

[Mutters]

DON'T WORRY ABOUT
IT. OKAY, GOOD-BYE.

WELL, I'M SORRY,
MAR. I CAN MAKE IT,

BUT MARIE'S GOTTA GO TO
CHICAGO TO VISIT HER SISTER.

- OH, WELL, THAT'S TERRIFIC. GREAT.
- WHAT?

NO, NO, MURRAY. I DON'T MEAN IT'S
TERRIFIC THAT MARIE CAN'T MAKE IT.

- I MEAN IT'S TERRIFIC BECAUSE
NOW I CAN INVITE A DATE.
- OH.

SO, NOW ALL I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT
IS WHAT TO SERVE, WHAT TO SERVE.

WELL, SAY, WHY DON'T YOU
GO SEE SUE ANN NIVENS?

SHE'LL BE A GREAT HELP.
YOU KNOW, THE OTHER DAY,

MARIE MADE SOMETHING SHE SAW SUE ANN
PREPARE ON HER HAPPY HOMEMAKER SHOW.

YEAH? IN FACT, IT WAS THE EXACT
SAME DINNER THE NIXONS SERVED...

TO FRENCH PRESIDENT POMPIDOU
WHEN HE WENT TO THE WHITE HOUSE.

- NO KIDDING? HOW WAS IT?
- GREAT. THE BEST FRANKS
AND BEANS I EVER HAD.

AND AFTER BAKING IN A
340-DEGREE OVEN FOR 40 MINUTES,

OUR STRAWBERRY
SWIRL IS READY TO SERVE.

LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT OUR
FINISHED PRODUCT, SHALL WE?

[Chuckles]

NOW THEN.

OH, SURELY THAT ISN'T HOW...

A STRAWBERRY SWIRL
IS SUPPOSED TO LOOK.

IS IT?

[Laughing] OF COURSE.

SOMEBODY FORGOT
TO PLUG IN THE OVEN.

WELL, I GUESS THAT JUST GOES TO
SHOW THAT ANYBODY CAN MAKE A MISTAKE,

EVEN YOUR HAPPY
HOMEMAKER. [Laughs]

NOW, DON'T YOU GO AWAY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER
THIS COMMERCIAL MESSAGE.

[Man] ALL CLEAR. ALL RIGHT.
WHO THE HELL IS RESPONSIBLE?

- MARY!
- HI.

I'M WAITING FOR AN ANSWER.

[Man] FIVE SECONDS, SUE ANN.

DON'T GO AWAY.

[Man] STAND BY. CUE SUE ANN.

WELL, IT SEEMS AS THOUGH WE'VE
COME TO THE END OF ANOTHER SHOW.

IT WAS SO NICE OF YOU TO DROP
AROUND FOR OUR LITTLE VISIT.

REMEMBER TO COME
BACK TOMORROW...

WHEN I'LL HAVE SOME HANDY
HINTS ON HOW TO FEEL FRESH FRUIT.

SO, UNTIL TOMORROW,
THIS IS SUE ANN NIVENS,

YOUR HAPPY HOMEMAKER, SAYING...

GOD COULDN'T BE EVERYWHERE,

SO HE MADE MOTHERS.

BYE-BYE.

[Man] ALL CLEAR, SUE ANN.

ALL RIGHT. EVERYONE
STAY RIGHT WHERE HE IS.

WE'RE GOING TO
HAVE A LITTLE MEETING.

SY, COME DOWN HERE.

MARY DEAR, AREN'T
YOU LOOKING LOVELY.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? GEE, IT'S
NOT REALLY IMPORTANT, SUE ANN.

I CAN COME BACK ANOTHER
TIME. OH, NONSENSE.

I'LL BE DONE CHEWING OUT THE
CREW IN TWO SHAKES OF A LAMB'S TAIL.

OH, IT'S SY FISHER, MY PRODUCER.

I'M SURE YOU KNOW
MARY RICHARDS. HELLO.

HELLO. AND NOW, SY,
PERHAPS YOU COULD TELL ME...

WHO IT WAS WHO SCREWED
UP MY STRAWBERRY SWIRL?

I DON'T KNOW, SUE
ANN. YOU DON'T KNOW?

WELL, WE HAD BETTER
FIND OUT, HADN'T WE, SY?

YES, SUE ANN. YES.

NOW, MARY, WHAT IS IT YOU
WANTED TO SEE ME ABOUT?

IT'S REALLY NOT
IMPORTANT, SUE ANN.

OH, YOU COME RIGHT OVER
HERE INTO MY LIVING ROOM...

AND YOU TELL ME WHAT
IT IS I CAN DO FOR YOU.

WELL, IT'S JUST THAT
I WAS PLANNING...

SY, I WANT HIS NAME,
AND I WANT IT FAST.

IS THAT CLEAR? YES, SUE ANN.

GO ON, DEAR. WELL, I'M
HAVING A PARTY ON FRIDAY...

A PARTY! WHAT KIND OF PARTY?
IT'S GONNA BE A DINNER PARTY.

OH, MARY, HOW SWEET
OF YOU TO ASK ME.

I'D LOVE TO COME. WELL,
ACTUALLY, SUE ANN...

MARY, NOT ONLY WILL I COME;
I WILL PREPARE THE DINNER.

I WILL SEE TO IT THAT
YOUR LITTLE DINNER PARTY...

WILL BECOME A FEAST TO REMEMBER.

BUT, SUE ANN... NOW,
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

I HAVE TO RAKE SOMEONE'S
TAIL OVER THE COALS.

HOW'D IT GO WITH SUE ANN? WELL,
I LOST A DATE AND GAINED A CHEF.

SUE ANN IS COMING TO THE PARTY.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE
THAT FOND OF SUE ANN.

- WHAT MADE YOU INVITE HER?
- SUE ANN IS
A GREAT GOURMET COOK.

I CAN CERTAINLY USE
ALL THE HELP I CAN GET.

SO, LET'S SEE.
THERE'LL BE YOU, ME,

RHODA, CONGRESSWOMAN GEDDES...

UH, WHO IS UP FOR REELECTION
IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS.

WE OUGHT TO GET A LOOK AT THE POLLS, ANY
OTHER BACKGROUND MATERIAL YOU CAN FIND.

HI, GUYS. WHAT'S UP?
NOTHING. NOTHING.

ANY BIG STORIES BREAK FOR
TONIGHT? NO, I'M AFRAID NOT, TED.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY
SAY: NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS.

OH, SAY, MAR, WHAT
TIME DO YOU WANT...

GEORGETTE AND ME TO BE AT YOUR
DINNER PARTY TOMORROW NIGHT?

TED, HOW DID YOU
KNOW ABOUT THE PARTY?

THERE'S A NOTE ON LOU'S CALENDAR.
"MARY'S DINNER PARTY FRIDAY NIGHT."

TED, I DON'T THINK
LOU WILL BE HAPPY...

IF HE KNOWS THAT YOU'RE READING
THINGS ON HIS DESK WHEN HE'S NOT THERE.

MURRAY, I WOULDN'T DO THAT.

HE WAS THERE WHILE I READ IT.

IT'S A LITTLE TRICK I'VE
MASTERED... READING UPSIDE DOWN.

NOW, IF YOU COULD ONLY LEARN
HOW TO DO IT RIGHT SIDE UP.

USUALLY I LIKE A BIT
MORE NOTICE FOR A PARTY,

MARY, BUT I'M SURE YOU'VE
GOT A GOOD REASON...

EXCUSE ME. I'M GONNA GET THOSE
POLLS YOU WANTED ME TO FIND.

WELL, MURRAY, EH... SO,
WHAT TIME IS THE PARTY, MARY?

WELL, TED, THERE'S
A LITTLE PROBLEM.

YOU SEE, IT'S A
SIT-DOWN DINNER PARTY,

AND I'VE ONLY GOT
ROOM FOR SIX PEOPLE.

OH, SAY, OKAY.
LISTEN, I UNDERSTAND.

OH, GOOD, TED. I'M
REALLY GLAD YOU DO.

OF COURSE. SAY NO MORE. I'LL
JUST LEAVE GEORGETTE AT HOME.

I MEAN, SO SHE MISSES
A DINNER. BIG DEAL.

IT'S NOT AS IF SHE'S GONNA
GO HUNGRY OR ANYTHING.

I'VE DONE ENOUGH FOR HER THIS
WEEK ANYWAY. WHAT TIME IS IT?

WELL, TED, YOU SEE, I DON'T
HAVE ROOM FOR YOU EITHER.

COME AGAIN?

I'VE GOT THIS VERY
SMALL DINING TABLE.

YOU'VE SEEN THE TABLE. YOU KNOW.
THERE'S ONLY ROOM FOR SIX PEOPLE.

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
ARE YOU SAYING I'M NOT INVITED?

I'M SORRY, TED. NO, JUST LET
ME UNDERSTAND THIS CORRECTLY.

NO, TED. YOU SEE... JUST TO
GET IT CLEAR IN MY OWN MIND!

IF YOU COULD JUST
TRY TO UNDERSTAND.

[Sighs]

OKAY, I UNDERSTAND.

YOU ONLY HAVE ROOM FOR
SIX PEOPLE, AND I'M NOT INVITED.

- I DON'T NEED A HOUSE
TO FALL IN ON ME.
- I'M SORRY, TED.

SO, WHO ARE THE
SIX PEOPLE, MARY?

WELL, THERE'S THE GUEST OF
HONOR, CONGRESSWOMAN GEDDES.

I CAN UNDERSTAND YOUR INVITING
THE GUEST OF HONOR AHEAD OF ME.

WHO ELSE? WELL, AND
THEN THERE'S RHODA.

I CAN UNDERSTAND INVITING YOUR
BEST FRIEND OVER ME. WHO ELSE?

MR. GRANT. YES, I CAN
UNDERSTAND THAT.

HE'S YOUR BOSS. YOU
WANNA BUTTER HIM UP.

AND THEN THERE'S ME. YES,
WELL, IT'S YOUR APARTMENT.

AND SUE ANN NIVENS.
WAIT A MINUTE!

SHE'S COOKING THE DINNER,
TED. THAT MAKES SENSE.

OKAY, OKAY, I UNDERSTAND.

OKAY. WAIT A MINUTE.
THAT'S FIVE. WHO'S THE SIXTH?

MURRAY.

YOU... INVITED MURRAY OVER ME?

YEAH. MURRAY? MY MURRAY?

I DID THAT, TED, BUT
I EXPLAINED TO YOU...

PLEASE, YOU DON'T OWE
ME ANY EXPLANATIONS.

YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I'M GLAD
I WASN'T INVITED TO YOUR PARTY.

DO YOU THINK I'D EVEN WANNA
GO TO ONE OF YOUR PARTIES?

IT IS TO LAUGH, MARY.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING,
MARY? YOU DON'T KNOW THIS,

BUT I HAVE HAD LOTS OF PARTIES
THAT YOU WERE NEVER INVITED.

YES, THAT'S RIGHT. WONDERFUL
PARTIES, AND YOU WERE NEVER INVITED.

COME-AS-YOU-ARE PARTIES, SURPRISE
PARTIES, HAWAIIAN NIGHT PARTIES,

WHERE YOU HAD TO SAY
"ALOHA" OR YOU COULDN'T GET IN.

PARTIES THAT WOULD HAVE CHANGED
YOUR LIFE, MARY, AND YOU WEREN'T INVITED.

PARTIES WHERE YOU
WOULD HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE...

WITH THAT MR. RIGHT YOU'VE
BEEN SO DESPERATELY WAITING FOR.

YES, MARY, HE WAS AT
ONE OF MY PARTIES TOO.

THE ONE MAN IN THE WORLD MEANT
JUST FOR YOU, MARY, AND YOU MISSED HIM.

THE MAN THAT WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU
A HOME AND MARRIAGE AND CHILDREN...

AND COMFORT IN YOUR OLD AGE WAS AT ONE OF
MY PARTIES, MARY, AND YOU WEREN'T INVITED!

DID YOU TELL TED HE WASN'T
INVITED? YEAH, I TOLD HIM.

HOW'D HE TAKE IT? NOT BAD.

AND I THINK THAT'S
EVERYTHING. RIGHT.

SO I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT
AT 8:00, RIGHT? RIGHT. 8:00.

OKAY. HIYA, TED.

[Grumbles]

OH, PARDON ME, MARY,
BUT WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

HOME, TED. OH, HOME.
GOING HOME SO EARLY?

YEAH. I HAVE EVERYTHING
FINISHED, AND I HAVE TO GET HOME.

OH, OF COURSE.

TONIGHT'S THE BIG PARTY
FOR THE MINNEAPOLIS SIX.

HOWEVER DID IT SLIP MY
MIND? TED, PLEASE EXCUSE ME.

WHAT IS IT, MARY? WHAT IS
IT REALLY? I MEAN, WHAT IS IT?

IS IT BECAUSE YOU RESENT MY
SUCCESS? IS THAT WHAT IT IS?

TED, PLEASE, I TRIED
TO EXPLAIN TO YOU.

I JUST HAVE ROOM FOR SIX PEOPLE.

I'LL BRING MY OWN DISH.

HOW'S THAT? SO IT
DOESN'T MATCH YOURS.

TED, WON'T YOU TRY TO UNDERSTAND?
THERE'LL BE OTHER PARTIES.

I'LL GIVE YOU $20.

TED, I REALLY HAVE TO BE GOING.

MARY... MARY, PLEASE.

BEFORE YOU GO, I'D LIKE TO
TELL YOU A LITTLE STORY, OKAY?

OKAY. MAYBE YOU'LL
BE ABLE TO PROFIT BY IT.

I'LL NEVER FORGET IT.

I WAS 15 YEARS OLD AT THE TIME.

SENSITIVE, SHY, A
QUIET LITTLE LAD,

SUFFERING THE
ANGUISH OF GROWING UP.

AND IT WAS CHRISTMASTIME, AND A GIRL IN
MY CLASS WAS THROWING A CHRISTMAS PARTY.

EVERYONE WAS INVITED
EXCEPT ME, MARY.

WHEN I FOUND OUT ABOUT IT, I WENT
OVER TO SEE HER, AND I ASKED HER WHY.

AND SHE SAID, "BECAUSE
I HATE YOUR GUTS."

WELL, THAT NIGHT OF THE PARTY,

I... I SPENT AT HOME...
ALONE, IN MY ROOM...

AND I CRIED.

IT WAS PROBABLY THE
WORST NIGHT IN MY LIFE, MAR.

OUTSIDE IT WAS SNOWING, AND
THE CAROLERS WERE SINGING.

♪ IT CAME UPON A
MIDNIGHT CLEAR ♪

[Crying]

I FELT THEN, THAT IN ALL THE WORLD, I
WAS THE LONELIEST PERSON THAT EVER LIVED.

BUT THEN, IT CAME TO ME, MARY.

WHY SHOULD I SIT THERE
FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF?

SO I WENT DOWN TO MY BASEMENT,

WENT AND GOT MY
JUNIOR CHEMISTRY SET,

AND I MADE THE BIGGEST
STINK BOMB YOU EVER SAW.

AND I THREW IT RIGHT INTO
THE MIDDLE OF THAT PARTY.

HOW'S DINNER COMING? OH,
MARY, I HAVE OUTDONE MYSELF.

DON'T BURN. OH,
DELICIOUS. MM-HMM.

AND JULIA CHILDS SAYS
FOUR CUPS OF HEAVY CREAM.

WELL, I AM READY TO SERVE
THE SALAD. WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

WELL, IT'S ONLY 7:45. WHAT
DO YOU MEAN, ONLY 7:45?

I HAVE TIMED MY VEAL
PRINCE ORLOFF FOR 8:00.

BUT, SUE ANN, I DIDN'T TELL
ANYONE TO GET HERE UNTIL 8:00.

WELL, MARY DEAR, I'M SORRY,

BUT IF WE DON'T EAT AT 8:00,

WE MIGHT AS WELL TAKE
MY DELICIOUS DINNER...

AND FLUSH IT RIGHT
DOWN THE TOILET.

[Knocking]

YOU SEE, THEY'RE ALREADY HERE.
I'LL START SERVING THE SALAD.

WELL, NO, SUE
ANN, I... HI, MAR. HI.

MARY, THIS IS STEVE WALDMAN.

STEVE, THIS IS MARY
RICHARDS. HELLO.

HELLO. RHODA, COULD I TALK
TO YOU FOR JUST A MOMENT?

YES, AND I WANTED TO
TALK TO YOU TOO, MAR.

I'LL BE WITH YOU IN A MINUTE,
STEVE. RHODA, WHY IS HE HERE?

MARY, LISTEN, STEVE AND I
WORKED TOGETHER AT HEMPLE'S.

AND TONIGHT, AFTER FOUR YEARS
WITH THE STORE, HE GETS FIRED.

SO WHEN HE ASKED ME TO HAVE
DINNER, I JUST COULDN'T SAY NO.

THE SALAD IS ON THE
TABLE. HELLO, RHODA DEAR.

- MARY, WE EAT IN FOUR MINUTES.
- SUE ANN, NOBODY IS HERE YET.

THEY'RE NOT HERE. RHODA,
DO YOU SEE THESE CHAIRS?

THERE ARE SIX CHAIRS. DO YOU SEE
THEM? THERE IS NO ROOM FOR HIM.

MARY, HE COULD SIT UP THERE AT
THE LITTLE TABLE. RHODA, PLEASE...

PLEASE, RHODA, LISTEN, I WANT
THIS PARTY TO BE A GOOD PARTY.

I WANT THAT SO BADLY, AND
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH FOOD FOR HIM.

SUE ANN MADE IT
VERY CLEAR TO ME.

THERE ARE EXACTLY SIX PORTIONS OF
VEAL PRINCE ORLOFF. NO MORE, NO LESS.

- HE CAN HAVE HALF OF MINE.
- THREE MINUTES, MARY.

I KNOW, SUE ANN! I KNOW!

I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY. A
LITTLE TENSE. [Knocking]

HI, I'M STEVE
WALDMAN. LOU GRANT.

MURRAY SLAUGHTER. HOW ARE YA?

FINE. FINE. I JUST GOT FIRED.
I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

- YEAH, ME TOO.
- HI, MURRAY. COME IN. MR. GRANT.
- HI, MAR.

HI, MARY. CAN I GET YOU A DRINK?

YEAH, SURE. NO DRINKS,
MARY. WE EAT IN TWO MINUTES.

MISS RICHARDS, I WANNA THANK
YOU FOR INVITING ME TO DINNER.

RHODA, SET A PLACE FOR
HIM AT THE LITTLE TABLE.

- THANK YOU.
- ONE MINUTE, MARY.

SUE ANN, CONGRESSWOMAN
GEDDES ISN'T HERE YET.

MARY DEAR, DO YOU HAVE
ANY IDEA WHAT HAPPENS...

IF YOU LET VEAL PRINCE
ORLOFF SIT IN AN OVEN TOO LONG?

NO. WHAT? HE DIES.

[Knocking]

HELLO, I'M MARGARET
GEDDES. STEVE WALDMAN.

OH, HOW DO YOU
DO? I WAS JUST FIRED.

I'M SORRY. CONGRESSWOMAN
GEDDES, IT'S SO NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

EVERYBODY, THIS IS REPRESENTATIVE...
OH, MARGARET. MARGARET.

MARGARET GEDDES. RHODA
MORGENSTERN. IT'S A PLEASURE.

LOU GRANT. HELLO. HOW ARE YOU?

MURRAY SLAUGHTER. IT'S A
PLEASURE, CONGRESSWOMAN.

AND SUE ANN NIVENS.

HOW DO YOU DO? MARY,
YOUR DINNER IS SERVED.

WELL, SHALL WE ALL
TAKE OUR PLACES THEN?

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY
DRINK? OH, MARY'S SO SORRY...

TO RUSH US ALL LIKE THIS,
BUT SHE MISTIMED HER DINNER.

UH-HUH.

MARY DEAR, WOULD YOU LIKE TO
BRING OUT THE VEAL PRINCE ORLOFF?

SURE. AND WE'LL START
ON YOUR LOVELY SALAD.

- MARY MADE IT ALL HERSELF.
- OH, MY, IT LOOKS DELICIOUS.

THANK YOU.

AND THIS IS MARY'S
VEAL PRINCE ORLOFF.

OH, WOW! THAT'S BEAUTIFUL!

LOOK AT THAT! CAN YOU SEE
THAT? THAT SMELLS GOOD.

IT'S FANTASTIC! BEAUTIFUL.

[Chattering]

MRS. GEDDES? OH, NOT
YET, DEAR. THANK YOU.

I HAVEN'T FINISHED MY
SALAD. I'VE FINISHED MY SALAD.

EXCUSE ME. COULD
SOMEONE JUST PASS THE SALT?

COMING RIGHT UP.

MR. GRANT. OH, YEAH. YEAH.

I'M REALLY STARVED, MARY.

I REALLY AM. THANKS A LOT.

THANK YOU.

MR. GRANT, COULD I SPEAK
TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?

OH, YEAH. GO AHEAD. IN THE
LIVING ROOM. I NEED YOUR HELP.

OH, SURE. [Mutters]

WHAT'S WRONG,
MARY? YOU SEEM UPSET.

MR. GRANT, YOU TOOK
THREE SERVINGS OF THE VEAL.

YEAH.

MR. GRANT, THERE ARE
SIX PEOPLE. YOU TOOK HALF.

YOU MEAN, THAT'S ALL THERE
IS, WHAT'S ON THIS PLATTER? YES.

MR. GRANT, YOU'VE
GOT TO PUT SOME BACK.

I JUST DON'T HAVE
ENOUGH FOR EVERYBODY.

THREE PEOPLE AREN'T
GOING TO GET ANY DINNER.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL PUT
IT BACK. THANK YOU.

SAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M NOT AS HUNGRY
AS I THOUGHT I WAS.

OH, MARY, WHAT A
DELIGHTFUL EVENING.

MAGNIFICENT CONVERSATION,
DELICIOUS FOOD.

- IS EVERYBODY READY FOR DESSERT?
- AND TONIGHT
I SAVED ROOM FOR IT.

- GOOD.
- WHAT ARE WE HAVING, MARY?

- UH...
- [Sniffing] DO I SMELL BAKED PEARS ALICIA?

RIGHT. BAKED PEARS ALICIA.

OH, WHAT A WONDERFUL SURPRISE!

IT'S MY FAVORITE DESSERT
IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

LISTEN, WHY DON'T WE ALL HAVE
DESSERT AND COFFEE IN THE LIVING AREA?

[Muttering]

MARY, THE PARTY'S GOIN'
GREAT. I KNOW. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

JUST GREAT. IT'S THE BEST
PARTY YOU EVER GAVE.

I MEAN, IT'S 9:00, AND
EVERYBODY'S STILL HERE.

[Knocking]

WE'LL HAVE OUR COFFEE
AND ALICIAS IN JUST A MINUTE.

I CAN'T WAIT. GOOD.

TED, WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE.

WELL, I WAS HAVING A FEW
DRINKS ALONE. WATERFRONT BAR.

A LOT OF DANGEROUS-LOOKING
CHARACTERS AROUND.

I SAID TO MYSELF, "MAYBE MARY DIDN'T
HAVE TIME TO THINK ABOUT DESSERT."

SO, WELL, HERE IT
IS... SHERBET FOR SIX.

TED, THAT WAS VERY
THOUGHTFUL OF YOU.

UM, WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME IN?

OH, NO, NO, NO. I DON'T WANT
TO COME IN OR ANYTHING.

HI, LOU.

MURRAY. RHODA.

SAY, LOU, IF YOU NEED A
LIFT, I'LL BE WAITIN' OUTSIDE.

DON'T HURRY. TED, ARE YOU
SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO...

OH, NO, NO, NO.

- TED, REALLY,
DON'T YOU WANNA COME IN?
- NO, I'M SURE. I'M SURE.

ARE YOU SURE? YEAH.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA CLOSE
THE DOOR IN MY FACE, ARE YOU?

HI, EVERYBODY. SORRY I'M LATE.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU ANYWAY?

YOU GOT A SCREW LOOSE SOMEWHERE?

YOU PLAYIN' WITH A FULL
DECK UP THERE, FELLA?

I'M NOT SURE I GET
WHAT YOU MEAN, LOU.

WELL, WHAT I MEAN IS, WHY
ARE YOU ALWAYS DOIN' STUFF...

LIKE SHOWIN' UP IN PLACES WHERE YOU
WEREN'T INVITED, WITH A PINT OF SHERBET?

BE FAIR, LOU. THE
SHERBET'S A NEW TOUCH.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
MAKES ME DO THIS.

MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I'M REMEMBERING
A PARTY OF A LONG TIME AGO.

MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE
I'M REMEMBERING...

A 15-YEAR-OLD BOY...
A SHY, SENSITIVE LAD...

SUFFERING THE
ANGUISH OF GROWING UP.

YOU SEE, IT WAS CHRISTMASTIME,

AND THE GIRL IN MY CLASS WAS
THROWING A CHRISTMAS PARTY,

AND EVERYBODY WAS
INVITED EXCEPT ME.

WHEN I FOUND OUT ABOUT IT,

I WENT OVER TO
HER, AND I ASKED WHY.

AND SHE SAID,
"BECAUSE YOU'RE POOR,

AND YOU DON'T
HAVE NICE CLOTHES."

TED, DID THAT ACTUALLY
HAPPEN? CROSS MY HEART, RHODA.

WELL, I STAYED HOME
THE NIGHT OF THE PARTY...

ALONE, IN MY
ROOM... AND I CRIED.

OUTSIDE IT WAS SNOWING AND
THE CAROLERS WERE SINGING.

♪ IT CAME UPON A
MIDNIGHT CLEAR ♪

[Mews]