Mary Tyler Moore (1970–1977): Season 3, Episode 5 - It's Whether You Win or Lose - full transcript
A blizzard is sweeping through Minneapolis, which means that Lou can't take his trip to sunny, warm Las Vegas. As it was supposed to be a boys' gambling weekend away, Lou is talked instead into a gathering of boys at the station to play poker. Murray initially doesn't want to play, but decides at the last minute to join when he learns that one of the players is novice Ted, whose money is too enticing to pass up. Mary later finds out from Marie that Murray is a compulsive gambler who can't stop once he starts. So Mary has to go down to the station to stop Murray from playing without divulging the reason why to any of the other players. Murray's reemerging gambling compulsion and the money involved by association becomes just as big an issue for Mary.
♪ WHO CAN TURN THE
WORLD ON WITH HER SMILE ♪
♪ WHO CAN TAKE A NOTHING DAY ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY MAKE IT
ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE ♪
♪ WELL, IT'S YOU, GIRL
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT ♪
♪ WITH EACH GLANCE AND EVERY
LITTLE MOVEMENT YOU SHOW IT ♪
♪ LOVE IS ALL AROUND
NO NEED TO WASTE IT ♪
♪ YOU CAN HAVE THE TOWN
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪♪
MORNING, MAR. HIYA.
BOY, IT'S REALLY COMING
DOWN NOW. YEAH?
WISH I WAS GOING TO LAS
VEGAS WITH LOU TODAY. OH, YEAH.
HE'S REALLY LOOKING
FORWARD TO IT. YEAH.
- KINDA CUTE HOW EXCITED HE IS.
- NO QUESTION ABOUT IT.
LOU HAS NEVER BEEN CUTER.
MURRAY. I JUST HEARD FROM
THE WEATHER BUREAU. YEAH?
THEY JUST CLOSED THE AIRPORT. LOU IS
NOT GOING TO LAS VEGAS THIS AFTERNOON.
AW, GORDY, WHY TODAY?
HEY, WHY DOES EVERYBODY ALWAYS BLAME
ME FOR THE WEATHER? I'M NOT SNOWING.
I-I'M SORRY. IT'S JUST THAT MR. GRANT'S
BEEN PLANNING THIS TRIP FOR TWO MONTHS.
POOR LOU.
- GOOD MORNING.
- OH, HI.
- WHAT'S EVERYBODY LOOKING
SO DOWN ABOUT?
- OH, NOTHING.
NO, NO, NOTHING, REALLY. NO,
WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU.
NOT THAT THAT DEPRESSED US.
WE WERE JUST, YOU KNOW, TALKING
ABOUT YOUR GOING TO LAS VEGAS.
YEAH, THAT'D DEPRESS ANYBODY
WHO HAD TO SPEND A WEEKEND...
IN COLD, SNOWY MINNEAPOLIS,
WHILE I LIE AROUND A POOL
IN WARM, BALMY LAS VEGAS.
GOT YOUR LUGGAGE ALL PACKED
AND EVERYTHING, HUH? MM-HMM.
I'M GOING DIRECTLY TO THE AIRPORT
FROM HERE. CATCHING THE 3:00 PLANE.
[Phone Ringing] I
CAN HARDLY WAIT.
NEWSROOM. UH, JUST
A MOMENT, PLEASE.
MR. GRANT, IT'S FOR
YOU. LAS VEGAS CALLING.
OH, THAT'S PROBABLY MIKE COOPER. HE
AND JACK DUNN COULDN'T WAIT EITHER.
THEY FLEW OUT
LAST NIGHT. HI, MIKE.
YOU'RE CALLING FROM WHERE?
BY THE POOL?
BY THE POOL! [Chuckles]
- BRING ME SOME COFFEE, MARY.
- HE'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU, MIKE.
MAYBE THE AIRPORT WILL
OPEN UP AGAIN ABOUT 3:00.
JUST FOR A MINUTE. JUST LONG
ENOUGH FOR ONE PLANE TO JUST...
YOU DIDN'T! OH, BOY. [Knocking]
UH, UH, MIKE, UH,
I CAN'T ASK YOU THE NEXT
QUESTION I WAS GONNA ASK,
BECAUSE, UH, MARY
JUST WALKED IN.
SO, YOU ANSWER IT
WITHOUT MY ASKING.
NO KIDDING?
OH, MAN. YEAH, ALL
RIGHT. UH, OKAY, OKAY.
I'LL MEET YOU AT THE POOL IN
SEVEN HOURS AND 36 MINUTES.
YEAH.
THEY HAVEN'T BEEN TO BED YET.
WELL, WHAT, WITH HOOVER
DAM AND ALL THOSE MUSEUMS.
UH, MR. GRANT, SIT DOWN. WHAT?
JUST PLEASE, PLEASE SIT DOWN.
ALL RIGHT. MR. GRANT,
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN...
IF FOR SOME UNFORESEEN,
YOU KNOW, UNKNOWABLE,
IMPOSSIBLE-TO-IMAGINE
CIRCUMSTANCES,
YOU COULDN'T GO
TO LAS VEGAS TODAY?
MARY, WHAT ARE YOU
TRYING TO TELL ME?
[Clears Throat] WELL, IT HAS TO DO
WITH SNOW AND A MASSIVE COLD FRONT.
AND GENERALLY VERY BAD WEATHER.
YEAH?
WELL, GORDY SAYS
THE AIRPORT'S CLOSED.
GET HIM IN HERE.
WELL, MR. GRANT, I DON'T THINK
THERE'S ANYTHING THAT GORDY...
GET HIM IN HERE. UH, YES, SIR.
UH, GORDY, COULD YOU STEP
IN HERE FOR JUST A MINUTE?
UH, GORDO,
MR. GRANT WANTED TO...
WELL, I'LL JUST LET
HIM TELL YOU HIMSELF.
HOW COME YOU CLOSED
THE AIRPORT, GORDY?
I DIDN'T CLOSE IT, LOU.
YOUR SNOW DID.
IT'S NOT MY SNOW, LOU.
YOU'RE RIGHT. I
SHOULDN'T BLAME YOU.
IT'S NOT AS IF YOU COULD
PREDICT THE WEATHER.
WHAT'D HE SAY? WELL,
WHAT COULD HE SAY?
HE ALWAYS THINKS OF SOMETHING.
I HATE SNOW.
I DON'T LIKE ITS COLOR.
I DON'T LIKE ITS SHAPE.
I DON'T LIKE ITS TEMPERATURE.
I DON'T LIKE HOW IT FEELS.
OR WHAT IT DOES. I DON'T
LIKE IT IN SNOWBALLS.
OR ON HILLS.
I DON'T LIKE ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
IT'S A SOFT, WET, WHITE,
MUSHY, MELTING, FREEZING MESS!
I HATE SNOW AS MUCH AS I HATE
ANYTHING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.
HI, GUYS.
BOY, IS IT REALLY COMING DOWN
OUT THERE. ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?
MAKES YOU FEEL SO
GOOD. GLAD TO BE ALIVE.
GRATEFUL TO BE LIVING IN THIS
WONDERFUL WINTER WONDERLAND.
LOU? I HATE SNOW.
WHO DOESN'T?
HEY, MR. GRANT, IT'S NOT
THE END OF THE WORLD.
NO, MARY, IT'S NOT
THE END OF THE WORLD.
I COULD LIVE WITH THAT.
HEY, LOU, WHY DON'T YOU
GET UP A POKER GAME? [Scoffs]
HOW CAN A POKER GAME TAKE THE PLACE
OF A WEEKEND IN LAS VEGAS WITH THE BOYS?
IN THE SUNSHINE.
AROUND THE POOL.
- YOU WANNA PLAY?
- SURE, I'LL PLAY.
MURRAY? NO, THANKS.
ALL RIGHT, IT'S BETTER THAN
NOTHING. MARY, YOU SET IT UP.
WE'LL PLAY HERE AT THE
STUDIO. GET AN EARLY START.
WE'LL NEED SIX PEOPLE.
USE MY CARD FILE.
LET'S SEE, A ROUND TABLE,
CARDS, CHIPS, ICE, DRINKS.
CARDS, CHIPS, ICE, ROUND
TABLE, SIX PLAYERS. MM-HMM.
I'LL PLAY, LOU. ANYTHING TO GET
OUT OF THAT ROTTEN SNOW. HUH?
I'LL PLAY. PLAY WHAT?
- WHATEVER IT IS
YOU'RE GONNA PLAY.
- IT'S POKER, TED.
OH. OH. FOR MONEY.
WELL, I-I'VE GOT
SOME EXTRA CHANGE.
NOT CHANGE, TED. YOU NEED
DOLLARS IN THIS GAME. DOLLARS.
OKAY, YOU GOT
GORDY AND ME SO FAR.
UH-HUH. MURRAY, YOU DON'T
WANNA PLAY? NO, IT'S NOT MY GAME.
IS THIS ENOUGH, LOU?
THAT'S ENOUGH.
OH. HOW COME WHEN YOU ORDER A SANDWICH SENT
IN, THEY ALWAYS SEND YOU THE WRONG THING?
I DON'T KNOW. THEY GOT
MY ORDER WRONG TOO.
I ORDERED A HAM AND CHEESE ON
RYE. I GOT A ROAST BEEF ON WHITE.
I THINK IT'S CLEARING UP.
MAYBE THE AIRPORT... MR. GRANT.
I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW.
HOW'S MY GAME COMING, MARY?
OH, WELL, I GOT PAT, YOUR
BARTENDER, SO THAT'S FOUR SO FAR.
HOW ABOUT HARVEY AMES?
UH, DR. AMES IS AT THE HOSPITAL.
WELL, HAVE YOU TRIED HIM THERE?
HE'S IN THE OPERATING ROOM.
OH. THEY HAVE PHONES IN
OPERATING ROOMS, MARY.
USE A LITTLE MUSCLE.
IF YOU CAN'T GET SIX, I'LL
SETTLE FOR FIVE, BUT NO LESS.
OKAY. MR. GRANT, WHAT
DO YOU WANT FOR DRINKS?
UH, SCOTCH... AND WATER. THAT'S
IT? JUST SCOTCH AND WATER?
THAT'S THREE KINDS OF
DRINKS... SCOTCH, WATER...
[Together] AND SCOTCH AND WATER.
WAIT, UH, WHAT ABOUT FOOD?
ALL RIGHT, GET A LITTLE OF THAT.
MURRAY, YOU SURE YOU
DON'T WANNA PLAY? NO, THANKS.
[Rings] NEWSROOM. OH, HI, WALLY.
THE PRODUCTION DEPARTMENT
DOES HAVE A ROUND TABLE? GREAT.
LISTEN, COULD YOU
BRING IT UP HERE?
UH-HUH. WELL, NO, I GUESS
IT'LL HAVE TO BE ALL RIGHT,
IF THAT'S THE ONLY
ONE YOU CAN FIND.
OKAY, THANKS A LOT. BYE-BYE.
WELL, WALLY SAYS THE
ONLY ROUND TABLE WE HAVE...
IS THE ONE THEY USE FOR THE CHILDREN'S
BIRTHDAY PARTIES ON THE KING ARTIE SHOW.
YOU MEAN WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO
PLAY POKER IN KING ARTIE'S CASTLE?
YEAH. LISTEN, YOU'RE SURE
YOU DON'T WANNA PLAY?
UH, NO. NO, THANKS. BESIDES, I PROMISED
MARIE I'D BE HOME EARLY TONIGHT.
JUST SEEMS LIKE IT'D BE FUN. YOU
KNOW, ALL THE GUYS PLAYING POKER.
YOU STILL PLAYING
TONIGHT, GORDO?
OH, I WOULDN'T MISS
IT FOR THE WORLD, TED.
DOES, UH, THREE OF
A KIND BEAT A FLUSH?
OTHER WAY AROUND. THREE OF
A KIND DOES BEAT TWO OF A KIND?
RIGHT.
WHAT'S A KIND?
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL PLAY.
HELLO, PHYLLIS. IT'S MARY AGAIN.
LISTEN, WHAT'S HAPPENING
WITH THE HEAT, HUH?
PHYLLIS, I RAN OUT OF
FIREWOOD AN HOUR AGO.
WELL, CAN'T THEY
FIX IT ANY FASTER?
I MEAN, IT'S REALLY
COLD UP HERE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NOT SO BAD?
PHYLLIS, I AM BURNING
SHOE TREES IN HERE.
THANK YOU, PHYL.
BYE.
I DON'T KNOW WHY THAT FURNACE
NEVER WORKS IN THE WINTER.
IT ALWAYS WORKS JUST
FINE IN THE SUMMER.
NO, DON'T.
THANK YOU. MARY?
YEAH. COME ON IN.
MARY, I WAS IN BED, RIGHT?
THEN I STARTED TO FEEL ALL WARM
AND RELAXED, LIKE I WAS FALLING ASLEEP.
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
- THEN I REMEMBERED.
THIS IS HOW YOU FEEL JUST
BEFORE YOU FREEZE TO DEATH.
HEY, KID, CAN I PLUG IN HERE?
YEAH, YOU CAN GO AND TRY IT ANYWAY.
I THINK I'M OVERLOADED NOW THOUGH.
HEY! [Scoffs]
THE WIRING IN THIS BUILDING IS ONLY A
LITTLE BETTER THAN THE HEATING SYSTEM.
THIS GIVES ME A REAL
FEELING OF POWER.
I WONDER IF I'M DOING THIS
TO ALL OF MINNEAPOLIS. HA HA!
HEY, LISTEN, JUST DON'T
GET CARRIED AWAY, WILL YA?
- I REALLY THINK WE'RE LIVING
DANGEROUSLY HERE.
- YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT, KID.
OKAY, NOW I'VE GOT IT ON
FIVE. YOU THINK FIVE'S OKAY?
FIVE IS GOOD.
GOOD, GOOD ON FIVE.
LISTEN, WHEN YOU KNOCKED, I WAS THINKING
OF PUTTING SOME TURNOVERS INTO THE OVEN...
- TO GET ALL CRISPY AND WARM.
- OH, THAT SOUNDS REALLY GOOD.
OKAY, THEY SHOULD BE READY
TO EAT IN ABOUT 20 MINUTES.
EAT THEM? I THOUGHT WE
WERE GONNA WEAR THEM.
[Doorbell Buzzes] HEY, CAN
YOU GET THAT FOR ME?
OKAY, MAR. WHOEVER
IT IS, I'M INVITING THEM IN.
WE'LL HUDDLE TOGETHER
AND SHARE OUR BODY HEAT.
HI. HI.
HI, MARIE. RHODA,
YOU REMEMBER MARIE.
OF COURSE, MURRAY'S WIFE. AND
A FINE PERSON IN HER OWN RIGHT.
THANK YOU. MARY, I AM SO UPSET.
I HAVE BEEN ALL OVER TOWN. I'VE CALLED
EVERYONE I KNOW. I EVEN CALLED THE POLICE.
MARIE, WHAT IS IT? I
CAN'T FIND MURRAY.
I WAS HOPING HE WAS HERE WITH
YOU. OH, NO, MURRAY'S NOT HERE.
OH, THANK GOODNESS. WELL, NO...
HE'S DOWN AT THE
STATION. NO, MARY, HE ISN'T.
HE CALLED TO TELL ME THAT
HE WAS WORKING LATE. UH-HUH.
SO, I WENT DOWN THERE
TO TAKE HIM A SANDWICH,
'CAUSE I THOUGHT
HE MIGHT BE HUNGRY.
AND THE GUARD LET ME IN, BUT
THERE'S NOBODY IN THE OFFICE.
OH, WAIT, MARIE, NO, NO.
HE'S DOWN IN STUDIO "E"...
WITH MR. GRANT
AND TED AND GORDY.
OH, THAT'S SO GOOD.
OH, YOU SILLY. COME ON IN
AND THAW OUT A LITTLE WHILE.
UH, MARIE, DO YOU HAVE
THAT SANDWICH ON YOU?
OH, YEAH. HERE, RHODA.
GOOD, I'M HUNGRY.
HEY, GIRLS, HOW ABOUT SOME
HOT COFFEE? [Mary] GREAT.
WHAT ARE THE GUYS
WORKING ON SO LATE?
OH, THEY'RE NOT WORKING.
THEY'RE PLAYING POKER.
POKER? MM-HMM.
OH, NO! WHAT?
WELL, MARY, MURRAY IS
A COMPULSIVE GAMBLER.
I MEAN, ONCE HE GETS
STARTED, HE JUST CAN'T STOP.
DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT? WELL,
MARIE, HOW WOULD I KNOW THAT?
OH, YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SORRY.
ANYWAY, I SHOULDN'T
TAKE IT OUT ON YOU.
I SHOULD TAKE IT OUT ON
WHOEVER GOT HIM IN THAT GAME.
WHO GOT HIM IN THAT GAME, MARY?
I DID.
YOUR DEAL, PAT. HEY, THIS IS FUN.
WHY DON'T WE DO THIS EVERY NIGHT?
WHO DIDN'T ANTE? TED?
ANTE? OH, I THOUGHT
I DID. SURE, I ANTED.
- THAT WAS THE LAST HAND, TED.
- WAIT A MINUTE, LOU.
I MAY NOT WANT
TO ANTE THIS HAND.
YOU GOTTA ANTE, TED.
IT'S LIKE SALUTING THE FLAG.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN YOU
DON'T WANNA BET ANYTHING?
CHECK.
WELL, THAT'S INTERESTING. I WONDER
WHO THOUGHT OF THE WORD "CHECK"?
MUST BE FROM A FOREIGN LANGUAGE
OR SOMETHING. LIKE CZECHOSLOVAKIA...
TED! CHECK, CHECK, CHECK.
CHECK, CHECK. CHECK.
- CHECK.
- OPEN FOR A DOLLAR.
I'M IN. I CALL. NOT THIS TIME.
NOT THIS TIME? YOU SHOULD TRY
PLAYING, TED. MAYBE YOU'LL ENJOY IT.
JUST BIDING MY OL' TIME, MURR.
- I'M IN. TWO CARDS.
- TWO CARDS.
ONE. ONE.
THREE. THREE, AND
TWO TO THE DEALER.
I WON'T TELL ANYONE. HONEST.
YOU LET MURRAY LOOK.
- I'M OUT.
- FOLD.
- OKAY, LOU.
- FIVE BUCKS.
SEE YA, LOU.
- FOUR JACKS.
- TAKE IT.
MURRAY, WHY'D YOU STAY? WELL, I
FIGURED TED DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE SAW.
ILLEGAL GAMBLING. YOU'RE
ALL UNDER ARREST. HI, GUYS.
HI, MAR. WHAT IS IT, MARY?
OH, NOTHING, NOTHING. I JUST
HAPPENED TO BE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD,
SO I THOUGHT I'D DROP IN,
SEE HOW THINGS ARE GOING.
SO, HOW ARE THINGS GOING?
WELL, I'D LIKE TO
STOP AND SOCIALIZE,
BUT MY MAIN FUNCTION
IN THIS GAME IS COMING UP.
ANTE!
WASN'T I IN?
OKAY, WHAT'LL IT BE, BOYS?
LET'S SEE, NO PEEKY
LOWBALL? SPIT IN THE OCEAN?
OR BASEBALL?
I WANNA PLAY SEVEN-CARD STUD.
SEVEN-CARD STUD, BUT
THREES AND NINES ARE WILD...
AND ONE-EYED JACKS
AND BLACK QUEENS.
AND IF YOU GET A FOUR UP,
YOU GET AN EXTRA CARD DOWN.
UH, MURRAY, CAN I TALK
TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?
UH, PRIVATELY? MARY,
TO TALK TO YOU PRIVATELY,
I HAVE TO BE DEALT OUT OF
A HAND. YEAH, BUT, MURRAY...
WHY DON'T YOU WRITE HIM A
NOTE AND LET TED DEAL IT TO HIM?
[All Say Check]
IS THIS YOUR CHIP OR
MINE? I THINK IT'S MINE.
HOW'S IT GOING, MURR?
WELL, NOT TOO GOOD.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
IN, YOU KNOW, MONEY?
I'M ONLY ABOUT 20 AHEAD. OH,
WELL, THAT'S GREAT. YOU'RE AHEAD.
DO YOU WANNA KNOW
HOW I'M DOING, MAR?
I'LL TELL YOU HOW HE'S DOING.
HE HASN'T PLAYED
A HAND ALL NIGHT.
AND HE'S WINNING.
CHECK. NOW, IT'LL
COST YOU A DOLLAR.
- HOW'S THE FOOD HOLDING OUT?
- FINE. NOBODY'S TOUCHED IT.
HEY, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT WE DO. WHY
DON'T WE ALL GO OUT AND GET SOME PIZZA?
YOU JUST FINISH UP THIS HAND, AND
THEN WE'LL ALL GO OUT AND GET SOME PIZZA.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, HUH?
[Clears Throat] I HAVE
A BETTER IDEA, MARY.
WHY DON'T YOU GO OUT AND GET A
PIZZA AND TAKE IT HOME WITH YOU?
BET. I BET A DOLLAR.
MURRAY, WOULD YOU LIKE A LIFT
HOME? I'LL BE HAPPY TO DO THAT.
I'M GOING RIGHT BY. I CAN
TAKE YOU RIGHT TO YOUR DOOR.
I COULD DO THAT. I WOULD. I
WOULD. MURRAY? I WOULD, UH...
YOU'RE BANISHED FROM
THIS KINGDOM. MR. GRANT.
MURRAY, ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T
WANT A LIFT HOME? NO, THANK YOU, MARY.
SAY GOOD NIGHT,
MARY. GOOD NIGHT.
[All] GOOD NIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT, MARY.
- HEY, WHO'S GONNA BET?
- SO MANY WILD CARDS,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I GOT. FOLD.
- ALL I GOT IS SIX 10's.
- TAKE IT! TAKE IT!
MURRAY, LISTEN, I WAS
THINKING... [All] GOOD NIGHT, MARY.
DEAL FOR ME.
OKAY, WE'LL PLAY FIVE-CARD
DRAW. [Gordy] DRAW. GOOD.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S SIT DOWN AND
PLAY SOME REAL POKER FOR A CHANGE.
NONE OF THIS WILD CARD
JUNK. I'M WITH YOU, LOU.
- CHECK.
- CHECK.
DID EVERYBODY ANTE? LOU?
I WAS JUST GOING TO.
UH, I'LL OPEN FOR 10.
I'M OUT. OUT. I'M OUT.
I'LL SEE YOUR 10, TED.
[Chips Clattering] RAISE YOU 20.
[Chuckles]
I KNOW WHAT'S
HAPPENING. YOU'RE...
BLUFFING.
[Chuckles]
IT'LL COST YOU 20 TO FIND OUT.
I THINK I'LL TAKE MY 10 BACK.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT, TED.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THESE CARDS, LOU?
IT'S A VERY GOOD HAND,
TED. A VERY GOOD HAND.
YOU COULD WIN
BIG WITH THAT HAND.
OKAY, I'LL CALL YOUR 20.
AND I'LL RAISE YOU 20.
ON THE OTHER HAND,
YOU COULD LOSE BIG.
GOOD MORNING,
MR. GRANT. HELLO, MARY.
HOW'D IT GO FRIDAY, AFTER
I WAS BANISHED? WHO WON?
WELL, MARY, THERE'S SOMETHING
YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER ABOUT POKER.
WHAT'S THAT? IT DOESN'T
MATTER WHO WINS.
IT'S BEING INVOLVED IN A GROUP
ACTIVITY WITH PEOPLE YOU LIKE.
AND TED.
MORNING, MAR. MORNING.
UH, MR. GRANT LOST, DIDN'T
HE? A LITTLE. ABOUT $45.
HOW'D YOU DO? YOU WERE
ABOUT $20 AHEAD WHEN I LEFT.
UH, I LOST. THE WHOLE 20?
WELL, PLUS A LITTLE MORE.
HOW LITTLE ALTOGETHER?
ABOUT $375.
375... YOU CAN'T WIN 'EM ALL.
MURRAY, IF YOU LOST AND
MR. GRANT LOST, WHO WON?
HI, GUYS.
GOT MY LOOT, MURR?
YOU'LL GET IT, TED.
DID HE TELL YOU ABOUT IT, MAR?
I WAS JUST GONNA TELL HER, TED.
MAR, THE KLUTZ GOT LUCKY.
I'M READY TO ACCEPT
PAYMENT IN FULL, MURR.
BANK DOESN'T OPEN TILL 10:00.
OH, ALL RIGHT. I WON'T PUSH IT.
SEE YOU ABOUT 10:15.
MURRAY, IF YOU HAD TO LOSE,
WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE TO TED?
WELL, MAYBE IT'S A
BLESSING IN DISGUISE.
YOU SEE, I USED TO HAVE THIS GAMBLING
PROBLEM, MARY. BUT IT'S ALL OVER NOW.
GETTING IN THAT GAME, IT ALL CAME
BACK TO ME WHAT A TERRIBLE THING IT IS.
I'M NEVER GONNA PLAY
AGAIN. NEVER. REALLY.
THE ONLY TROUBLE IS I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO GET THE MONEY OUT OF THE BANK,
SO MARIE WON'T FIND
OUT HOW MUCH I LOST.
- HOW ARE YOU GONNA
GET THE MONEY?
- I FOUND A GAME FOR TONIGHT.
OH!
ALL I NEED IS A LITTLE STAKE,
BECAUSE I FEEL REAL LUCKY.
I'M UNDER NO COMPULSION
TO PLAY, MARY. IT'S
JUST THAT I NEED THE
MONEY TO PAY HIM BACK.
AND HOW ARE YOU GOING TO
GET THE STAKE FOR THE GAME?
ALL I NEED IS ONE SIMPLE
BET. ONE SURE THING.
BANK'S OPEN IN 10 MINUTES, MURR.
TED, WHY DO YOU KEEP
BUGGING MURRAY FOR THE MONEY?
- BECAUSE I NEED IT.
- WHY?
BECAUSE HE OWES IT TO ME.
"JAPAN ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT THERE
WOULD BE FURTHER DEVALUATION OF THE YEN.
[Mumbles] "JAPANESE
MINISTER OF FINANCE,
HIDEKO KAWASAKI."
TED, HOW'D YOU LIKE TO
GO FOR DOUBLE OR NOTHING?
NO, NO, MURRAY. I WILL NOT
LET YOU. I'M GONNA CALL MARIE.
I SWEAR I WILL. WAIT. WHAT DO
YOU MEAN, DOUBLE OR NOTHING?
WELL, IF YOU BLOW THAT
NAME, HIDEKO KAWASAKI,
ON THE AIR TONIGHT,
WE'RE SQUARE.
IF NOT, I OWE YOU $750.
THAT'S $750, TED.
WAIT A MINUTE. LET
ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
IF I SAY THIS NAME TONIGHT AND DON'T
MAKE A MISTAKE, YOU'LL OWE ME $750?
AND IF YOU BLOW IT, WE'RE EVEN.
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT AGAIN.
YOU GOT IT STRAIGHT, TED.
I KNOW, IT'S SO EASY.
LOOK, HIDEKO KAWASAKI.
MUST BE A TRICK.
NO TRICK. BUT WHEN THAT LIGHT GOES ON
THAT LITTLE CAMERA TONIGHT, YOU'LL BLOW IT.
[Chuckles] NOW THAT'S A DIRECT CHALLENGE
TO MY ABILITY TO READ A SIMPLE SENTENCE.
RIGHT.
YOU'RE ON.
HIDEKO KAWASAKI.
[Singsong] HIDEKO
KAWASAKI. HIDEKO KAWASAKI.
SO, WHY AREN'T
YOU CALLING MARIE?
'CAUSE I'M NOT SURE
THIS IS GAMBLING.
HIDEKO KAWASAKI.
[Ted On TV] AND THE MAYOR
MADE THAT STATEMENT
TODAY AT A MEETING
OF THE CITY COUNCIL.
SO MUCH FOR THE LOCAL SCENE.
ON THE INTERNATIONAL FRONT,
JAPAN DEVALUES THE YEN.
THAT STORY IN A MOMENT RIGHT
AFTER THIS "COMMESSIAL SAUSAGE."
MURRAY, THAT'S SIX
BIG MISTAKES SO FAR.
THE LAW OF AVERAGES
ARE AGAINST YOU.
I HAVE FAITH. HE'LL MAKE SEVEN.
HIDEKO KAWASAKI.
YOU'RE GONNA BLOW IT,
TED. YOU'RE GONNA BLOW IT.
NOT TONIGHT, MURR.
KAWASAKI. KAWASAKI. KAWASAKI.
HE'S GONNA GET IT RIGHT.
GORDY, 50 BUCKS HE GETS IT RIGHT.
MURRAY, WILL YOU STOP THAT?
I KNOW. I'M CRAZY.
THE INTERNATIONAL FINANCIAL SCENE WAS
ENLIVENED TODAY BY SEVERAL DEVELOPMENTS.
THE MOST IMPORTANT STORY
COMES FROM THE FAR EAST.
JAPAN ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT THERE WOULD
BE A FURTHER DEVALUATION OF THE YEN...
AS SPECULATED SOME MONTHS AGO
BY THE JAPANESE MINISTER OF FINANCE...
HIDEKO SAWAKAKI.
DAMN!
[Mary] MURRAY, I'M
SO GLAD THAT'S OVER.
DID I JUST HEAR TED
SAY "DAMN"? YES, YES.
ON THE AIR? YEAH. [Laughs]
WHY SHOULD TED CARE
IF THEY DEVALUE THE YEN?
AND WHY IS HE CRYING?
THIS IS TED BAXTER SAYING GOOD
NIGHT AND GOOD NEWS. HIDEKO KAWASAKI.
[Mews]
WORLD ON WITH HER SMILE ♪
♪ WHO CAN TAKE A NOTHING DAY ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY MAKE IT
ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE ♪
♪ WELL, IT'S YOU, GIRL
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT ♪
♪ WITH EACH GLANCE AND EVERY
LITTLE MOVEMENT YOU SHOW IT ♪
♪ LOVE IS ALL AROUND
NO NEED TO WASTE IT ♪
♪ YOU CAN HAVE THE TOWN
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪♪
MORNING, MAR. HIYA.
BOY, IT'S REALLY COMING
DOWN NOW. YEAH?
WISH I WAS GOING TO LAS
VEGAS WITH LOU TODAY. OH, YEAH.
HE'S REALLY LOOKING
FORWARD TO IT. YEAH.
- KINDA CUTE HOW EXCITED HE IS.
- NO QUESTION ABOUT IT.
LOU HAS NEVER BEEN CUTER.
MURRAY. I JUST HEARD FROM
THE WEATHER BUREAU. YEAH?
THEY JUST CLOSED THE AIRPORT. LOU IS
NOT GOING TO LAS VEGAS THIS AFTERNOON.
AW, GORDY, WHY TODAY?
HEY, WHY DOES EVERYBODY ALWAYS BLAME
ME FOR THE WEATHER? I'M NOT SNOWING.
I-I'M SORRY. IT'S JUST THAT MR. GRANT'S
BEEN PLANNING THIS TRIP FOR TWO MONTHS.
POOR LOU.
- GOOD MORNING.
- OH, HI.
- WHAT'S EVERYBODY LOOKING
SO DOWN ABOUT?
- OH, NOTHING.
NO, NO, NOTHING, REALLY. NO,
WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU.
NOT THAT THAT DEPRESSED US.
WE WERE JUST, YOU KNOW, TALKING
ABOUT YOUR GOING TO LAS VEGAS.
YEAH, THAT'D DEPRESS ANYBODY
WHO HAD TO SPEND A WEEKEND...
IN COLD, SNOWY MINNEAPOLIS,
WHILE I LIE AROUND A POOL
IN WARM, BALMY LAS VEGAS.
GOT YOUR LUGGAGE ALL PACKED
AND EVERYTHING, HUH? MM-HMM.
I'M GOING DIRECTLY TO THE AIRPORT
FROM HERE. CATCHING THE 3:00 PLANE.
[Phone Ringing] I
CAN HARDLY WAIT.
NEWSROOM. UH, JUST
A MOMENT, PLEASE.
MR. GRANT, IT'S FOR
YOU. LAS VEGAS CALLING.
OH, THAT'S PROBABLY MIKE COOPER. HE
AND JACK DUNN COULDN'T WAIT EITHER.
THEY FLEW OUT
LAST NIGHT. HI, MIKE.
YOU'RE CALLING FROM WHERE?
BY THE POOL?
BY THE POOL! [Chuckles]
- BRING ME SOME COFFEE, MARY.
- HE'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU, MIKE.
MAYBE THE AIRPORT WILL
OPEN UP AGAIN ABOUT 3:00.
JUST FOR A MINUTE. JUST LONG
ENOUGH FOR ONE PLANE TO JUST...
YOU DIDN'T! OH, BOY. [Knocking]
UH, UH, MIKE, UH,
I CAN'T ASK YOU THE NEXT
QUESTION I WAS GONNA ASK,
BECAUSE, UH, MARY
JUST WALKED IN.
SO, YOU ANSWER IT
WITHOUT MY ASKING.
NO KIDDING?
OH, MAN. YEAH, ALL
RIGHT. UH, OKAY, OKAY.
I'LL MEET YOU AT THE POOL IN
SEVEN HOURS AND 36 MINUTES.
YEAH.
THEY HAVEN'T BEEN TO BED YET.
WELL, WHAT, WITH HOOVER
DAM AND ALL THOSE MUSEUMS.
UH, MR. GRANT, SIT DOWN. WHAT?
JUST PLEASE, PLEASE SIT DOWN.
ALL RIGHT. MR. GRANT,
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN...
IF FOR SOME UNFORESEEN,
YOU KNOW, UNKNOWABLE,
IMPOSSIBLE-TO-IMAGINE
CIRCUMSTANCES,
YOU COULDN'T GO
TO LAS VEGAS TODAY?
MARY, WHAT ARE YOU
TRYING TO TELL ME?
[Clears Throat] WELL, IT HAS TO DO
WITH SNOW AND A MASSIVE COLD FRONT.
AND GENERALLY VERY BAD WEATHER.
YEAH?
WELL, GORDY SAYS
THE AIRPORT'S CLOSED.
GET HIM IN HERE.
WELL, MR. GRANT, I DON'T THINK
THERE'S ANYTHING THAT GORDY...
GET HIM IN HERE. UH, YES, SIR.
UH, GORDY, COULD YOU STEP
IN HERE FOR JUST A MINUTE?
UH, GORDO,
MR. GRANT WANTED TO...
WELL, I'LL JUST LET
HIM TELL YOU HIMSELF.
HOW COME YOU CLOSED
THE AIRPORT, GORDY?
I DIDN'T CLOSE IT, LOU.
YOUR SNOW DID.
IT'S NOT MY SNOW, LOU.
YOU'RE RIGHT. I
SHOULDN'T BLAME YOU.
IT'S NOT AS IF YOU COULD
PREDICT THE WEATHER.
WHAT'D HE SAY? WELL,
WHAT COULD HE SAY?
HE ALWAYS THINKS OF SOMETHING.
I HATE SNOW.
I DON'T LIKE ITS COLOR.
I DON'T LIKE ITS SHAPE.
I DON'T LIKE ITS TEMPERATURE.
I DON'T LIKE HOW IT FEELS.
OR WHAT IT DOES. I DON'T
LIKE IT IN SNOWBALLS.
OR ON HILLS.
I DON'T LIKE ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
IT'S A SOFT, WET, WHITE,
MUSHY, MELTING, FREEZING MESS!
I HATE SNOW AS MUCH AS I HATE
ANYTHING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.
HI, GUYS.
BOY, IS IT REALLY COMING DOWN
OUT THERE. ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?
MAKES YOU FEEL SO
GOOD. GLAD TO BE ALIVE.
GRATEFUL TO BE LIVING IN THIS
WONDERFUL WINTER WONDERLAND.
LOU? I HATE SNOW.
WHO DOESN'T?
HEY, MR. GRANT, IT'S NOT
THE END OF THE WORLD.
NO, MARY, IT'S NOT
THE END OF THE WORLD.
I COULD LIVE WITH THAT.
HEY, LOU, WHY DON'T YOU
GET UP A POKER GAME? [Scoffs]
HOW CAN A POKER GAME TAKE THE PLACE
OF A WEEKEND IN LAS VEGAS WITH THE BOYS?
IN THE SUNSHINE.
AROUND THE POOL.
- YOU WANNA PLAY?
- SURE, I'LL PLAY.
MURRAY? NO, THANKS.
ALL RIGHT, IT'S BETTER THAN
NOTHING. MARY, YOU SET IT UP.
WE'LL PLAY HERE AT THE
STUDIO. GET AN EARLY START.
WE'LL NEED SIX PEOPLE.
USE MY CARD FILE.
LET'S SEE, A ROUND TABLE,
CARDS, CHIPS, ICE, DRINKS.
CARDS, CHIPS, ICE, ROUND
TABLE, SIX PLAYERS. MM-HMM.
I'LL PLAY, LOU. ANYTHING TO GET
OUT OF THAT ROTTEN SNOW. HUH?
I'LL PLAY. PLAY WHAT?
- WHATEVER IT IS
YOU'RE GONNA PLAY.
- IT'S POKER, TED.
OH. OH. FOR MONEY.
WELL, I-I'VE GOT
SOME EXTRA CHANGE.
NOT CHANGE, TED. YOU NEED
DOLLARS IN THIS GAME. DOLLARS.
OKAY, YOU GOT
GORDY AND ME SO FAR.
UH-HUH. MURRAY, YOU DON'T
WANNA PLAY? NO, IT'S NOT MY GAME.
IS THIS ENOUGH, LOU?
THAT'S ENOUGH.
OH. HOW COME WHEN YOU ORDER A SANDWICH SENT
IN, THEY ALWAYS SEND YOU THE WRONG THING?
I DON'T KNOW. THEY GOT
MY ORDER WRONG TOO.
I ORDERED A HAM AND CHEESE ON
RYE. I GOT A ROAST BEEF ON WHITE.
I THINK IT'S CLEARING UP.
MAYBE THE AIRPORT... MR. GRANT.
I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW.
HOW'S MY GAME COMING, MARY?
OH, WELL, I GOT PAT, YOUR
BARTENDER, SO THAT'S FOUR SO FAR.
HOW ABOUT HARVEY AMES?
UH, DR. AMES IS AT THE HOSPITAL.
WELL, HAVE YOU TRIED HIM THERE?
HE'S IN THE OPERATING ROOM.
OH. THEY HAVE PHONES IN
OPERATING ROOMS, MARY.
USE A LITTLE MUSCLE.
IF YOU CAN'T GET SIX, I'LL
SETTLE FOR FIVE, BUT NO LESS.
OKAY. MR. GRANT, WHAT
DO YOU WANT FOR DRINKS?
UH, SCOTCH... AND WATER. THAT'S
IT? JUST SCOTCH AND WATER?
THAT'S THREE KINDS OF
DRINKS... SCOTCH, WATER...
[Together] AND SCOTCH AND WATER.
WAIT, UH, WHAT ABOUT FOOD?
ALL RIGHT, GET A LITTLE OF THAT.
MURRAY, YOU SURE YOU
DON'T WANNA PLAY? NO, THANKS.
[Rings] NEWSROOM. OH, HI, WALLY.
THE PRODUCTION DEPARTMENT
DOES HAVE A ROUND TABLE? GREAT.
LISTEN, COULD YOU
BRING IT UP HERE?
UH-HUH. WELL, NO, I GUESS
IT'LL HAVE TO BE ALL RIGHT,
IF THAT'S THE ONLY
ONE YOU CAN FIND.
OKAY, THANKS A LOT. BYE-BYE.
WELL, WALLY SAYS THE
ONLY ROUND TABLE WE HAVE...
IS THE ONE THEY USE FOR THE CHILDREN'S
BIRTHDAY PARTIES ON THE KING ARTIE SHOW.
YOU MEAN WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO
PLAY POKER IN KING ARTIE'S CASTLE?
YEAH. LISTEN, YOU'RE SURE
YOU DON'T WANNA PLAY?
UH, NO. NO, THANKS. BESIDES, I PROMISED
MARIE I'D BE HOME EARLY TONIGHT.
JUST SEEMS LIKE IT'D BE FUN. YOU
KNOW, ALL THE GUYS PLAYING POKER.
YOU STILL PLAYING
TONIGHT, GORDO?
OH, I WOULDN'T MISS
IT FOR THE WORLD, TED.
DOES, UH, THREE OF
A KIND BEAT A FLUSH?
OTHER WAY AROUND. THREE OF
A KIND DOES BEAT TWO OF A KIND?
RIGHT.
WHAT'S A KIND?
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL PLAY.
HELLO, PHYLLIS. IT'S MARY AGAIN.
LISTEN, WHAT'S HAPPENING
WITH THE HEAT, HUH?
PHYLLIS, I RAN OUT OF
FIREWOOD AN HOUR AGO.
WELL, CAN'T THEY
FIX IT ANY FASTER?
I MEAN, IT'S REALLY
COLD UP HERE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NOT SO BAD?
PHYLLIS, I AM BURNING
SHOE TREES IN HERE.
THANK YOU, PHYL.
BYE.
I DON'T KNOW WHY THAT FURNACE
NEVER WORKS IN THE WINTER.
IT ALWAYS WORKS JUST
FINE IN THE SUMMER.
NO, DON'T.
THANK YOU. MARY?
YEAH. COME ON IN.
MARY, I WAS IN BED, RIGHT?
THEN I STARTED TO FEEL ALL WARM
AND RELAXED, LIKE I WAS FALLING ASLEEP.
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
- THEN I REMEMBERED.
THIS IS HOW YOU FEEL JUST
BEFORE YOU FREEZE TO DEATH.
HEY, KID, CAN I PLUG IN HERE?
YEAH, YOU CAN GO AND TRY IT ANYWAY.
I THINK I'M OVERLOADED NOW THOUGH.
HEY! [Scoffs]
THE WIRING IN THIS BUILDING IS ONLY A
LITTLE BETTER THAN THE HEATING SYSTEM.
THIS GIVES ME A REAL
FEELING OF POWER.
I WONDER IF I'M DOING THIS
TO ALL OF MINNEAPOLIS. HA HA!
HEY, LISTEN, JUST DON'T
GET CARRIED AWAY, WILL YA?
- I REALLY THINK WE'RE LIVING
DANGEROUSLY HERE.
- YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT, KID.
OKAY, NOW I'VE GOT IT ON
FIVE. YOU THINK FIVE'S OKAY?
FIVE IS GOOD.
GOOD, GOOD ON FIVE.
LISTEN, WHEN YOU KNOCKED, I WAS THINKING
OF PUTTING SOME TURNOVERS INTO THE OVEN...
- TO GET ALL CRISPY AND WARM.
- OH, THAT SOUNDS REALLY GOOD.
OKAY, THEY SHOULD BE READY
TO EAT IN ABOUT 20 MINUTES.
EAT THEM? I THOUGHT WE
WERE GONNA WEAR THEM.
[Doorbell Buzzes] HEY, CAN
YOU GET THAT FOR ME?
OKAY, MAR. WHOEVER
IT IS, I'M INVITING THEM IN.
WE'LL HUDDLE TOGETHER
AND SHARE OUR BODY HEAT.
HI. HI.
HI, MARIE. RHODA,
YOU REMEMBER MARIE.
OF COURSE, MURRAY'S WIFE. AND
A FINE PERSON IN HER OWN RIGHT.
THANK YOU. MARY, I AM SO UPSET.
I HAVE BEEN ALL OVER TOWN. I'VE CALLED
EVERYONE I KNOW. I EVEN CALLED THE POLICE.
MARIE, WHAT IS IT? I
CAN'T FIND MURRAY.
I WAS HOPING HE WAS HERE WITH
YOU. OH, NO, MURRAY'S NOT HERE.
OH, THANK GOODNESS. WELL, NO...
HE'S DOWN AT THE
STATION. NO, MARY, HE ISN'T.
HE CALLED TO TELL ME THAT
HE WAS WORKING LATE. UH-HUH.
SO, I WENT DOWN THERE
TO TAKE HIM A SANDWICH,
'CAUSE I THOUGHT
HE MIGHT BE HUNGRY.
AND THE GUARD LET ME IN, BUT
THERE'S NOBODY IN THE OFFICE.
OH, WAIT, MARIE, NO, NO.
HE'S DOWN IN STUDIO "E"...
WITH MR. GRANT
AND TED AND GORDY.
OH, THAT'S SO GOOD.
OH, YOU SILLY. COME ON IN
AND THAW OUT A LITTLE WHILE.
UH, MARIE, DO YOU HAVE
THAT SANDWICH ON YOU?
OH, YEAH. HERE, RHODA.
GOOD, I'M HUNGRY.
HEY, GIRLS, HOW ABOUT SOME
HOT COFFEE? [Mary] GREAT.
WHAT ARE THE GUYS
WORKING ON SO LATE?
OH, THEY'RE NOT WORKING.
THEY'RE PLAYING POKER.
POKER? MM-HMM.
OH, NO! WHAT?
WELL, MARY, MURRAY IS
A COMPULSIVE GAMBLER.
I MEAN, ONCE HE GETS
STARTED, HE JUST CAN'T STOP.
DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT? WELL,
MARIE, HOW WOULD I KNOW THAT?
OH, YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SORRY.
ANYWAY, I SHOULDN'T
TAKE IT OUT ON YOU.
I SHOULD TAKE IT OUT ON
WHOEVER GOT HIM IN THAT GAME.
WHO GOT HIM IN THAT GAME, MARY?
I DID.
YOUR DEAL, PAT. HEY, THIS IS FUN.
WHY DON'T WE DO THIS EVERY NIGHT?
WHO DIDN'T ANTE? TED?
ANTE? OH, I THOUGHT
I DID. SURE, I ANTED.
- THAT WAS THE LAST HAND, TED.
- WAIT A MINUTE, LOU.
I MAY NOT WANT
TO ANTE THIS HAND.
YOU GOTTA ANTE, TED.
IT'S LIKE SALUTING THE FLAG.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN YOU
DON'T WANNA BET ANYTHING?
CHECK.
WELL, THAT'S INTERESTING. I WONDER
WHO THOUGHT OF THE WORD "CHECK"?
MUST BE FROM A FOREIGN LANGUAGE
OR SOMETHING. LIKE CZECHOSLOVAKIA...
TED! CHECK, CHECK, CHECK.
CHECK, CHECK. CHECK.
- CHECK.
- OPEN FOR A DOLLAR.
I'M IN. I CALL. NOT THIS TIME.
NOT THIS TIME? YOU SHOULD TRY
PLAYING, TED. MAYBE YOU'LL ENJOY IT.
JUST BIDING MY OL' TIME, MURR.
- I'M IN. TWO CARDS.
- TWO CARDS.
ONE. ONE.
THREE. THREE, AND
TWO TO THE DEALER.
I WON'T TELL ANYONE. HONEST.
YOU LET MURRAY LOOK.
- I'M OUT.
- FOLD.
- OKAY, LOU.
- FIVE BUCKS.
SEE YA, LOU.
- FOUR JACKS.
- TAKE IT.
MURRAY, WHY'D YOU STAY? WELL, I
FIGURED TED DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE SAW.
ILLEGAL GAMBLING. YOU'RE
ALL UNDER ARREST. HI, GUYS.
HI, MAR. WHAT IS IT, MARY?
OH, NOTHING, NOTHING. I JUST
HAPPENED TO BE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD,
SO I THOUGHT I'D DROP IN,
SEE HOW THINGS ARE GOING.
SO, HOW ARE THINGS GOING?
WELL, I'D LIKE TO
STOP AND SOCIALIZE,
BUT MY MAIN FUNCTION
IN THIS GAME IS COMING UP.
ANTE!
WASN'T I IN?
OKAY, WHAT'LL IT BE, BOYS?
LET'S SEE, NO PEEKY
LOWBALL? SPIT IN THE OCEAN?
OR BASEBALL?
I WANNA PLAY SEVEN-CARD STUD.
SEVEN-CARD STUD, BUT
THREES AND NINES ARE WILD...
AND ONE-EYED JACKS
AND BLACK QUEENS.
AND IF YOU GET A FOUR UP,
YOU GET AN EXTRA CARD DOWN.
UH, MURRAY, CAN I TALK
TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?
UH, PRIVATELY? MARY,
TO TALK TO YOU PRIVATELY,
I HAVE TO BE DEALT OUT OF
A HAND. YEAH, BUT, MURRAY...
WHY DON'T YOU WRITE HIM A
NOTE AND LET TED DEAL IT TO HIM?
[All Say Check]
IS THIS YOUR CHIP OR
MINE? I THINK IT'S MINE.
HOW'S IT GOING, MURR?
WELL, NOT TOO GOOD.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
IN, YOU KNOW, MONEY?
I'M ONLY ABOUT 20 AHEAD. OH,
WELL, THAT'S GREAT. YOU'RE AHEAD.
DO YOU WANNA KNOW
HOW I'M DOING, MAR?
I'LL TELL YOU HOW HE'S DOING.
HE HASN'T PLAYED
A HAND ALL NIGHT.
AND HE'S WINNING.
CHECK. NOW, IT'LL
COST YOU A DOLLAR.
- HOW'S THE FOOD HOLDING OUT?
- FINE. NOBODY'S TOUCHED IT.
HEY, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT WE DO. WHY
DON'T WE ALL GO OUT AND GET SOME PIZZA?
YOU JUST FINISH UP THIS HAND, AND
THEN WE'LL ALL GO OUT AND GET SOME PIZZA.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, HUH?
[Clears Throat] I HAVE
A BETTER IDEA, MARY.
WHY DON'T YOU GO OUT AND GET A
PIZZA AND TAKE IT HOME WITH YOU?
BET. I BET A DOLLAR.
MURRAY, WOULD YOU LIKE A LIFT
HOME? I'LL BE HAPPY TO DO THAT.
I'M GOING RIGHT BY. I CAN
TAKE YOU RIGHT TO YOUR DOOR.
I COULD DO THAT. I WOULD. I
WOULD. MURRAY? I WOULD, UH...
YOU'RE BANISHED FROM
THIS KINGDOM. MR. GRANT.
MURRAY, ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T
WANT A LIFT HOME? NO, THANK YOU, MARY.
SAY GOOD NIGHT,
MARY. GOOD NIGHT.
[All] GOOD NIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT, MARY.
- HEY, WHO'S GONNA BET?
- SO MANY WILD CARDS,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I GOT. FOLD.
- ALL I GOT IS SIX 10's.
- TAKE IT! TAKE IT!
MURRAY, LISTEN, I WAS
THINKING... [All] GOOD NIGHT, MARY.
DEAL FOR ME.
OKAY, WE'LL PLAY FIVE-CARD
DRAW. [Gordy] DRAW. GOOD.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S SIT DOWN AND
PLAY SOME REAL POKER FOR A CHANGE.
NONE OF THIS WILD CARD
JUNK. I'M WITH YOU, LOU.
- CHECK.
- CHECK.
DID EVERYBODY ANTE? LOU?
I WAS JUST GOING TO.
UH, I'LL OPEN FOR 10.
I'M OUT. OUT. I'M OUT.
I'LL SEE YOUR 10, TED.
[Chips Clattering] RAISE YOU 20.
[Chuckles]
I KNOW WHAT'S
HAPPENING. YOU'RE...
BLUFFING.
[Chuckles]
IT'LL COST YOU 20 TO FIND OUT.
I THINK I'LL TAKE MY 10 BACK.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT, TED.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THESE CARDS, LOU?
IT'S A VERY GOOD HAND,
TED. A VERY GOOD HAND.
YOU COULD WIN
BIG WITH THAT HAND.
OKAY, I'LL CALL YOUR 20.
AND I'LL RAISE YOU 20.
ON THE OTHER HAND,
YOU COULD LOSE BIG.
GOOD MORNING,
MR. GRANT. HELLO, MARY.
HOW'D IT GO FRIDAY, AFTER
I WAS BANISHED? WHO WON?
WELL, MARY, THERE'S SOMETHING
YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER ABOUT POKER.
WHAT'S THAT? IT DOESN'T
MATTER WHO WINS.
IT'S BEING INVOLVED IN A GROUP
ACTIVITY WITH PEOPLE YOU LIKE.
AND TED.
MORNING, MAR. MORNING.
UH, MR. GRANT LOST, DIDN'T
HE? A LITTLE. ABOUT $45.
HOW'D YOU DO? YOU WERE
ABOUT $20 AHEAD WHEN I LEFT.
UH, I LOST. THE WHOLE 20?
WELL, PLUS A LITTLE MORE.
HOW LITTLE ALTOGETHER?
ABOUT $375.
375... YOU CAN'T WIN 'EM ALL.
MURRAY, IF YOU LOST AND
MR. GRANT LOST, WHO WON?
HI, GUYS.
GOT MY LOOT, MURR?
YOU'LL GET IT, TED.
DID HE TELL YOU ABOUT IT, MAR?
I WAS JUST GONNA TELL HER, TED.
MAR, THE KLUTZ GOT LUCKY.
I'M READY TO ACCEPT
PAYMENT IN FULL, MURR.
BANK DOESN'T OPEN TILL 10:00.
OH, ALL RIGHT. I WON'T PUSH IT.
SEE YOU ABOUT 10:15.
MURRAY, IF YOU HAD TO LOSE,
WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE TO TED?
WELL, MAYBE IT'S A
BLESSING IN DISGUISE.
YOU SEE, I USED TO HAVE THIS GAMBLING
PROBLEM, MARY. BUT IT'S ALL OVER NOW.
GETTING IN THAT GAME, IT ALL CAME
BACK TO ME WHAT A TERRIBLE THING IT IS.
I'M NEVER GONNA PLAY
AGAIN. NEVER. REALLY.
THE ONLY TROUBLE IS I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO GET THE MONEY OUT OF THE BANK,
SO MARIE WON'T FIND
OUT HOW MUCH I LOST.
- HOW ARE YOU GONNA
GET THE MONEY?
- I FOUND A GAME FOR TONIGHT.
OH!
ALL I NEED IS A LITTLE STAKE,
BECAUSE I FEEL REAL LUCKY.
I'M UNDER NO COMPULSION
TO PLAY, MARY. IT'S
JUST THAT I NEED THE
MONEY TO PAY HIM BACK.
AND HOW ARE YOU GOING TO
GET THE STAKE FOR THE GAME?
ALL I NEED IS ONE SIMPLE
BET. ONE SURE THING.
BANK'S OPEN IN 10 MINUTES, MURR.
TED, WHY DO YOU KEEP
BUGGING MURRAY FOR THE MONEY?
- BECAUSE I NEED IT.
- WHY?
BECAUSE HE OWES IT TO ME.
"JAPAN ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT THERE
WOULD BE FURTHER DEVALUATION OF THE YEN.
[Mumbles] "JAPANESE
MINISTER OF FINANCE,
HIDEKO KAWASAKI."
TED, HOW'D YOU LIKE TO
GO FOR DOUBLE OR NOTHING?
NO, NO, MURRAY. I WILL NOT
LET YOU. I'M GONNA CALL MARIE.
I SWEAR I WILL. WAIT. WHAT DO
YOU MEAN, DOUBLE OR NOTHING?
WELL, IF YOU BLOW THAT
NAME, HIDEKO KAWASAKI,
ON THE AIR TONIGHT,
WE'RE SQUARE.
IF NOT, I OWE YOU $750.
THAT'S $750, TED.
WAIT A MINUTE. LET
ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
IF I SAY THIS NAME TONIGHT AND DON'T
MAKE A MISTAKE, YOU'LL OWE ME $750?
AND IF YOU BLOW IT, WE'RE EVEN.
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT AGAIN.
YOU GOT IT STRAIGHT, TED.
I KNOW, IT'S SO EASY.
LOOK, HIDEKO KAWASAKI.
MUST BE A TRICK.
NO TRICK. BUT WHEN THAT LIGHT GOES ON
THAT LITTLE CAMERA TONIGHT, YOU'LL BLOW IT.
[Chuckles] NOW THAT'S A DIRECT CHALLENGE
TO MY ABILITY TO READ A SIMPLE SENTENCE.
RIGHT.
YOU'RE ON.
HIDEKO KAWASAKI.
[Singsong] HIDEKO
KAWASAKI. HIDEKO KAWASAKI.
SO, WHY AREN'T
YOU CALLING MARIE?
'CAUSE I'M NOT SURE
THIS IS GAMBLING.
HIDEKO KAWASAKI.
[Ted On TV] AND THE MAYOR
MADE THAT STATEMENT
TODAY AT A MEETING
OF THE CITY COUNCIL.
SO MUCH FOR THE LOCAL SCENE.
ON THE INTERNATIONAL FRONT,
JAPAN DEVALUES THE YEN.
THAT STORY IN A MOMENT RIGHT
AFTER THIS "COMMESSIAL SAUSAGE."
MURRAY, THAT'S SIX
BIG MISTAKES SO FAR.
THE LAW OF AVERAGES
ARE AGAINST YOU.
I HAVE FAITH. HE'LL MAKE SEVEN.
HIDEKO KAWASAKI.
YOU'RE GONNA BLOW IT,
TED. YOU'RE GONNA BLOW IT.
NOT TONIGHT, MURR.
KAWASAKI. KAWASAKI. KAWASAKI.
HE'S GONNA GET IT RIGHT.
GORDY, 50 BUCKS HE GETS IT RIGHT.
MURRAY, WILL YOU STOP THAT?
I KNOW. I'M CRAZY.
THE INTERNATIONAL FINANCIAL SCENE WAS
ENLIVENED TODAY BY SEVERAL DEVELOPMENTS.
THE MOST IMPORTANT STORY
COMES FROM THE FAR EAST.
JAPAN ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT THERE WOULD
BE A FURTHER DEVALUATION OF THE YEN...
AS SPECULATED SOME MONTHS AGO
BY THE JAPANESE MINISTER OF FINANCE...
HIDEKO SAWAKAKI.
DAMN!
[Mary] MURRAY, I'M
SO GLAD THAT'S OVER.
DID I JUST HEAR TED
SAY "DAMN"? YES, YES.
ON THE AIR? YEAH. [Laughs]
WHY SHOULD TED CARE
IF THEY DEVALUE THE YEN?
AND WHY IS HE CRYING?
THIS IS TED BAXTER SAYING GOOD
NIGHT AND GOOD NEWS. HIDEKO KAWASAKI.
[Mews]