Mary Tyler Moore (1970–1977): Season 3, Episode 2 - What Is Mary Richards Really Like? - full transcript
Mary is nervous about an upcoming interview she has with newspaper columnist Mark Williams, who has asked her for the interview since she is sole female working in a position of authority in the newsroom. Her nerves are solely about representing herself and the newsroom well, until everyone tells her that he hates everything associated with television, and he uses his position primarily to increase his social standing. Because of Mark's reputation, Lou would rather Mary not do the interview, but feels it is too late for her to back out. And Ted, despite Mark's reputation, does whatever he can to make himself the focus of the article. Without yet having seen the printed article, Mary, who likes Mark as a person, agrees to go out with him. The article, which doesn't turn out quite the way she had hoped, may make her change her mind about the date, especially after an unexpected move by Mark which totally baffles her.
♪ WHO CAN TURN THE
WORLD ON WITH HER SMILE ♪
♪ WHO CAN TAKE A NOTHING DAY ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY MAKE IT
ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE ♪
♪ WELL, IT'S YOU, GIRL
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT ♪
♪ WITH EACH GLANCE AND EVERY
LITTLE MOVEMENT YOU SHOW IT ♪
♪ LOVE IS ALL AROUND
NO NEED TO WASTE IT ♪
♪ YOU CAN HAVE THE TOWN
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪♪
MORNING, MAR. HI.
- HERE'S THAT PURSE.
- OH, THANKS.
I REALIZED I DIDN'T HAVE A
PURSE TO MATCH MY NEW DRESS,
AND I REALLY WANTED TO
WEAR IT TODAY, SO THANKS A LOT.
LISTEN, NEXT TIME I
WANT TO WEAR MY PURSE,
WILL YOU LEND ME
YOUR DRESS AND SHOES?
YEAH, SURE. AND YOUR BODY.
AW. YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT TODAY?
- WELL, I'M BEING INTERVIEWED.
- OOH. FOR WHAT, A JOB?
NO. OH, I GET IT.
YOU'D RATHER NOT TELL
OLD RHODA, IS THAT IT?
WELL, I SEE, MARY. I
UNDERSTAND. MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
FRIENDS GET TOO CLOSE, YOU
NEED YOUR PRIVACY... RHODA, LOOK...
I'LL TELL YOU AFTER,
IF IT GOES OKAY, OKAY?
OKAY. SURE, MAR.
LOOK, I UNDERSTAND.
ONLY, YOU CAN'T BORROW
MY PURSE. OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU.
I'M BEING INTERVIEWED BY A GUY WHO
WRITES A TV COLUMN IN THE NEWSPAPER.
YOU'RE KIDDING.
THAT'S FANTASTIC. YEAH.
- WHY YOU?
- RHODA.
I'M SORRY. NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
ACTUALLY, I ASKED HIM
THE SAME QUESTION.
HE SAID HE THOUGHT IT WOULD
MAKE AN INTERESTING ARTICLE.
YOU KNOW, I'M THE ONLY WOMAN
IN THE NEWSROOM AND ALL. YEAH.
HEY, RHODA, DO YOU THINK
THIS DRESS IS TOO SEXY?
MARY, THERE'S NO SUCH
THING AS "TOO SEXY."
I JUST DON'T WANT TO LOOK LIKE
I'M FLAUNTING ANYTHING, YOU KNOW?
IT'S GREAT. MAYBE I SHOULD WEAR
SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE SERIOUS.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
IN THAT, YOU WILL LOOK
LIKE A SERIOUS USHER.
MARY, THINK. THIS IS A MAN
DOING THE INTERVIEW, RIGHT?
YEAH. LET ME TAKE A LOOK.
OH, RHODA, I'M JUST SO NERVOUS. I DON'T
KNOW WHAT TO... WHAT AM I GONNA TALK ABOUT?
YOU DON'T HAVE TO TALK. I DON'T?
IT'S AN INTERVIEW, REMEMBER?
HOW ABOUT THIS? THAT'S A BLOUSE.
MARY, LOOK. THE GUY'S GONNA
ASK YOU QUESTIONS, RIGHT?
YOU WILL ANSWER THEM. THAT'S
NOT TALKING, THAT'S ANSWERING.
YEAH, BUT WHAT ABOUT IN BETWEEN?
I MEAN, I WANT TO
BE WITTY AND STUFF.
DO YOU THINK HENRY KISSINGER
NOTICES IF JILL ST. JOHN IS WITTY?
NO. STUFF, YES.
SEE? THAT'S WHAT I MEAN. I
NEVER SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
I'M GONNA WRITE
IT DOWN AND USE IT.
I DON'T THINK THE MAN
WOULD BE TOO IMPRESSED...
IF YOU SAT THERE AND
READ WITTY THINGS TO HIM.
MARY, HE'S JUST A GUY. YOU KNOW, YOU
HAVE VERY LITTLE TROUBLE IN THAT AREA.
WHAT'S HIS NAME ANYHOW?
MARK WILLIAMS. MAYBE YOU
BETTER WEAR A SUIT OF ARMOR.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU KNOW HIM?
NOT IN PERSON, BUT YOU'VE
READ HIS COLUMN, HUH?
YEAH. HE'S A DESTROYER.
SO HE'S A LITTLE CRITICAL
OF TV. A LITTLE CRITICAL?
DID YOU READ HIM
THIS MORNING? NO.
AFTER HE GOT THROUGH
KILLING ALL THE NEW SHOWS,
I GUESS HE DECIDED TO
TAKE A SECOND LOOK...
AT THE SHOWS HE HAD
MURDERED LAST YEAR.
LISTEN... "THOUGH THIS SERIES
CONTINUES IN ITS ENORMOUS POPULARITY,
"IT IS INCONCEIVABLE TO ME THAT
IT WOULD HOLD THE INTEREST...
OF ANYONE OVER THE AGE OF NINE."
WHAT SHOW IS THAT?
SESAME STREET, MAR.
I'M GONNA GO CHANGE.
MORNING, MURRAY. MORNING, MAR.
YOU KNOW, I DID THE
DUMBEST THING THIS MORNING.
[Laughs] YOU WANNA
KNOW WHAT I DID?
UH, YOU DRESSED LIKE A GUY?
YOU DON'T LIKE IT?
YEAH, I DO. [Laughs]
IT'S KIND OF CUTE.
I BOUGHT A SUIT LIKE
THAT FOR MY SON.
WELL, I DIDN'T START
OUT WEARING THIS.
I MEAN, I MUST HAVE GONE
THROUGH ABOUT SIX DUMB OUTFITS...
WORRYING ABOUT THE RIGHT IMAGE,
AND THIS IS WHAT I FINALLY
CAME UP WITH FOR THE INTERVIEW.
- WHAT INTERVIEW?
- OH, DIDN'T I TELL YOU?
MARK WILLIAMS IS INTERVIEWING
ME TODAY AT LUNCH.
- WELL, WHY YOU, MAR?
- [Sighs] BECAUSE I WORK IN A NEWSROOM,
AND BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN...
WHO'S DRESSED LIKE A MAN.
MISTAKE.
AN INTERVIEW...
AH, THAT'S TERRIFIC.
YOU ASKED LOU, DIDN'T YOU?
UH, WELL, NO,
NOT... NOT EXACTLY.
I MEAN, WELL, NOT IN SO MANY
WORDS. HOW MANY WORDS?
- NONE.
- MMM.
WELL, LISTEN, I STILL COULD. I MEAN,
IF YOU REALLY THINK IT'S NECESSARY.
IT JUST NEVER OCCURRED
TO ME TO ASK HIS PERMISSION.
I MEAN, IT IS MY OWN LUNCH HOUR.
STILL, I DO WORK HERE, DON'T I?
SO, I GUESS... WELL, I COULD. I
MEAN, IF YOU REALLY THINK I...
BUT DO YOU THINK
MR. GRANT WOULD MIND?
LOU MIND WHAT? OH, WELL,
AN INTERVIEW I SAID YES TO.
MIND AN INTERVIEW?
THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS.
WHAT RIGHT DOES HE HAVE TO
TELL PEOPLE WHO THEY CAN TALK TO?
I MEAN, WE'RE STILL
INDIVIDUALS HERE.
MAR, THAT INTERVIEW
GOES ON. RIGHT.
WHAT TIME SHOULD I BE THERE?
TED, MARY IS THE ONE
BEING INTERVIEWED.
WHY WOULD ANYONE
WANT TO INTERVIEW YOU?
AFTER ALL, WHAT COULD I
POSSIBLY HAVE TO SAY, IS THAT IT?
EXCUSE ME.
MARY'S A LITTLE TESTY
TODAY, ISN'T SHE?
TED, DIDN'T IT OCCUR TO YOU
THAT YOU MAY HAVE INSULTED HER?
NO. OH... YOU MEAN, UH...
OH, WELL, I MEAN,
AFTER ALL, IT ISN'T FAIR.
SHE'S NOT AN ANCHORMAN.
THEN AGAIN, IT'S NOT HER FAULT.
THAT'S RIGHT, TED. SO WHY
DON'T YOU APOLOGIZE TO HER?
OH, MAR? MAR, I...
I... LIKE YOUR SUIT.
THANKS, TED.
SAY, MAR...
- UH, WHEN IS
YOUR LITTLE INTERVIEW?
- TODAY AT LUNCH.
OH. WHY?
OH, I WAS JUST WONDERING.
YOU MIGHT GO TO THE SAME
RESTAURANT I'M GOING TO,
AND I MIGHT BE ABLE TO STOP BY
THE TABLE, SAY HELLO, THAT'S ALL.
WHERE ARE YOU HAVING LUNCH?
I DON'T KNOW YET. WHERE
ARE YOU HAVING LUNCH?
I DON'T KNOW YET.
WHERE IS SHE HAVING
LUNCH, MURRAY?
SHE DOESN'T KNOW YET.
AND THEY CALL THIS A NEWSROOM.
LOOK, MARY, I DON'T WANT
TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO,
BUT I REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD
MENTION THAT INTERVIEW TO LOU.
YOU REALLY THINK SO,
MURRAY? I MEAN, EVEN THOUGH...
AND FAST, BEFORE TED
THINKS OF IT. OH, COME ON.
OH, MURRAY, I CAN'T BELIEVE...
UH, MR. GRANT, I WAS
WONDERING IF YOU'D MIND...
MARY, DON'T WEAR PANTS
IN THE OFFICE ANYMORE.
MR. GRANT.
YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE
RIGHT. LISTEN TO ME.
DID YOU HEAR WHAT I JUST DID?
I SAID I DON'T WANT YOU
TO WEAR SOMETHING.
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES
IT MAKE WHAT YOU WEAR,
AS LONG AS YOU DO YOUR JOB.
RIGHT. IT WAS A PURELY
ARBITRARY, PIGHEADED DEMAND.
AND YET...
UH, I DIDN'T ASK YOU MY
QUESTION. OH? WHAT IS IT?
UH, WELL, YOU KNOW
MARK WILLIAMS. THAT JERK.
YOU DO KNOW HIM. MM-HMM.
WHY IS HE A JERK?
BECAUSE HE HATES TV, THAT'S WHY.
I LIKE TV. I WORK
IN IT, AND I LIKE IT.
- BESIDES, I DON'T LIKE
THE WAY HE OPERATES.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "OPERATES"?
WELL, LET'S SAY HE USES HIS COLUMN
TO IMPROVE HIS SOCIAL POSITION.
OH, MR. GRANT,
I CAN'T BELIEVE...
LAST YEAR, HE WENT OUT TO HOLLYWOOD
AND INTERVIEWED THE GOLDDIGGERS.
I DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG IN WRITING
A COLUMN ABOUT THE GOLDDIGGERS.
NO, NO, NOT A
COLUMN. TEN COLUMNS.
ONE COLUMN ON EACH GOLDDIGGER.
WHY ARE WE TALKING
ABOUT MARK WILLIAMS?
OH, WELL, HE WANTS
TO DO AN INTERVIEW.
TELL HIM I'M NOT INTERESTED.
WELL, YOU SEE, IT'S NOT
YOU HE WANTED TO INTERVIEW.
IT... IT WAS... WHO THEN?
- ME.
- YOU?
WHY IS IT THAT EVERYBODY
IS SO SURPRISED...
WHEN THEY FIND OUT THAT MARK
WILLIAMS WANTS TO INTERVIEW ME?
- I'M NOT SURPRISED.
- UH, YOU'RE NOT?
IT FIGURES. IN MINNEAPOLIS, YOU'RE
THE CLOSEST THING TO A GOLDDIGGER.
MR. GRANT, I CAN
TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.
MARY, YOU'RE
REPRESENTING WJM-TV.
A MAN LIKE MARK
WILLIAMS DELIGHTS...
IN TAKING PERFECTLY INNOCENT
LITTLE THINGS YOU SAY AND TWISTING.
CANCEL HIM. YEAH.
I-I BETTER. I'LL CANCEL.
WAIT A MINUTE. COME HERE.
YOU CALL AND CANCEL NOW,
- HE'LL PROBABLY THINK
I TOLD YOU TO.
- YES.
WE WOULDN'T WANT HIM TO THINK
I'D DO A THING LIKE THAT, WOULD WE?
- NO.
- YOU BETTER GO
TO LUNCH WITH HIM.
YES. AW, I'M MAKING
TOO BIG A DEAL OUT OF IT.
IT'LL BE FUN.
YOU GET YOUR NAME IN THE
PAPER. YOUR FOLKS'LL READ IT.
THEY'LL BE PROUD OF YOU.
AW, SURE. HAVE A NICE TIME.
- OKAY, THANKS.
- JUST DON'T SAY ANYTHING.
RIGHT.
[Blows]
[Blows]
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG
WITH THE TAPE RECORDER.
IT'S NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE.
MAYBE IT NEEDS NEW BATTERIES.
NO, NO, NO. NO, I PUT BRAND-NEW
BATTERIES IN IT JUST ABOUT FOUR...
FOUR MONTHS AGO.
DO YOU HAVE A PENCIL?
UH, YEAH. ARE YOU GONNA
TAKE DOWN EVERYTHING I SAY?
- I LIKE TO GET
THE QUOTES STRAIGHT.
- THE-THE QUOTES?
MM-HMM. HOW ABOUT
A PIECE OF PAPER?
YEAH.
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY
BATTERIES IN THERE, DO YOU?
[Laughs] OH, NO.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S START
WITH YOUR BOSS, LOU GRANT.
I UNDERSTAND THAT HE
DOESN'T LIKE ME VERY MUCH.
OH, NO! NO, NO.
- MR. GRANT DOESN'T
NOT LIKE YOU.
- YOU CALL HIM "MR. GRANT"?
OH, YES, I DO.
I MEAN, I COULD CALL
HIM LOU, IF I WANTED TO,
BUT HE JUST, YOU KNOW, SEEMS
LIKE MORE OF A MR. GRANT, THAT'S ALL.
- HMM.
- YOU'RE WRITING THAT DOWN?
MM-HMM.
GO ON.
OH. WELL, HE'S, UH... HE'S
TERRIFIC TO WORK FOR.
I MEAN, I REALLY LOVE HIM.
WE-WE JUST THINK HE'S THE
DEAREST MAN TO WORK FOR.
- HE'S... WE ALL THINK HE'S A...
- A SAINT.
OH, NO, OF COURSE
HE'S NOT A SAINT.
NO, SOMETIMES HE'S
VERY... UNSAINTLY.
LOTS. I MEAN, WE
JUST THINK... HOLD IT.
I CAN'T WRITE THAT FAST.
NO, OF COURSE...
HE'S NOT A... SAINT.
UH, WE... WRONG. NO.
THIS ISN'T GONNA WORK.
WHY DIDN'T I LEARN HOW TO TAKE
SHORTHAND WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE?
WELL, LISTEN, I TAKE
SHORTHAND. GOOD. YOU DO IT.
UH, YOU MEAN YOU WANT
ME TO TAKE DOWN MY OWN...
JUST WRITE DOWN
WHAT YOU TELL ME.
- NOW WHERE WERE WE?
- UH, MR. GRANT. LOU.
THE GUYS AT THE OFFICE EVER
TREAT YOU LIKE ONE OF THE BOYS?
UH, NO. NO, JUST THE OPPOSITE.
I MEAN... WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WELL, NEWSROOMS
ARE PRETTY RAUNCHY...
ROUGH LANGUAGE, HEAVY DRINKING.
HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT THAT, AS A WOMAN?
- OH, FINE.
- OH.
I MEAN, UH, I'M USED TO IT.
SORT OF.
TELL ME ABOUT TED BAXTER.
OH! WELL, WHAT DO
YOU WANT TO KNOW?
IS HE REALLY AN IDIOT?
TED? AN IDIOT? [Laughs]
OH, GOSH, NO.
UH, ACTUALLY, TED IS EXACTLY
THE WAY HE APPEARS ON THE AIR.
YOU KNOW, ONLY
BETTER. MUCH BETTER.
- HE'D JUST ABOUT HAVE TO BE.
- ACTUALLY, UH,
TED IS PRETTY DECEPTIVE.
HE IS. HE IS DECEPTIVE.
- ARE YOU MARRIED?
- NO, I'M NOT. ARE YOU?
UH, NO. I'M...
OH, I'M SORRY. THAT WAS AN
INTERVIEW QUESTION, WASN'T IT?
SEE, NO, I THOUGHT YOU WERE ASKING
ME AS A PERSON, YOU KNOW, AND NOT AS...
"NOT MARRIED."
WELL, MAYBE JUST A
LITTLE BIT OF BOTH AT ONCE.
LISTEN, I AM JUST SO NERVOUS ABOUT
THIS WHOLE THING TURNING OUT BADLY...
THAT I CAN'T BE MYSELF,
I CAN'T RELAX... MARY.
MARY, THERE IS NO WAY THIS
INTERVIEW IS GONNA TURN OUT BADLY.
OH, WHY NOT?
BECAUSE IF IT TURNED OUT BADLY, WHEN YOU
READ IT TOMORROW MORNING, YOU'D BE UPSET,
AND THEN YOU WOULDN'T GO OUT WITH
ME TOMORROW NIGHT WHEN I ASK YOU,
- WHICH IS WHAT I'M DOING
RIGHT NOW.
- OH, UH, GO OUT?
- MMM.
- [Giggles]
YOU KNOW WHAT JUST
CROSSED MY MIND?
THAT IF I SAID NO TO GOING
OUT WITH YOU... [Laughs]
THEN THE STORY
MIGHT TURN OUT BADLY.
SO, WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?
[Mary] NO, I'D LIKE
TO, VERY MUCH.
[Williams] I KNOW A TERRIFIC
LITTLE CHINESE RESTAURANT...
RIGHT ACROSS FROM THE MUSIC
HALL. YES, I THINK I'VE HEARD OF IT.
THEY HAVE THE
BEST PEKING DUCK...
OH! THERE YOU ARE, MAR.
TED, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
OH, WELL, LOU WAS
LOOKING FOR YOU,
AND I VOLUNTEERED
TO GO OUT TO FIND YOU.
UH, TED BAXTER, ANCHORMAN.
MARK WILLIAMS. SORRY.
TED BAXTER, THIS IS MARK...
YOU'D BETTER SCOOT ALONG,
MARY. YOU KNOW HOW LOU CAN GET.
WELL, MARK, I'M AWFULLY
SORRY. NOT AT ALL.
I KNOW HOW IT IS
WHEN YOU'RE IN NEWS.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT
THE DESSERT. I'LL EAT IT.
OH. THE INTERVIEW.
UH, MARY?
I CAN'T READ SHORTHAND.
OH, WELL, I'LL TYPE IT
UP AND SEND IT TO YOU.
BY 3:00, OKAY? I HAVE
A DEADLINE. OKAY.
I'LL CALL YOU. GOOD.
I SLEEP IN THE RAW.
HMM? YOU INTERVIEWERS
USUALLY ASK THAT KIND OF STUFF.
THIS ISN'T AN INTERVIEW.
OH, WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE DO HAVE AN INTERVIEW?
HERE. JUST SPEAK
RIGHT INTO THERE.
IT ALL STARTED AT A LITTLE
5,000-WATT RADIO STATION IN FRESNO.
THINGS WERE REALLY
TOUGH IN THOSE DAYS...
I MEAN, REALLY TOUGH.
[Knocking]
[Knocking Continues]
WHO IS IT? IT'S ME, MAR, RHODA.
HIYA. RHODA, WHAT
TIME IS IT ANYWAY?
- 5:45 A.M.
- I COULD HAVE FIGURED OUT
THE A.M. PART.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP SO EARLY?
MARY, WHAT ARE YOU
STILL DOING IN BED?
HOW CAN YOU SLEEP ON
SUCH AN IMPORTANT DAY?
ACTUALLY, I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT.
I OVERSLEPT ON MY
SISTER'S WEDDING DAY.
IN FACT, I SLEPT THROUGH
MY SISTER'S WEDDING DAY.
I WAS DEPRESSED. SHE
WAS MARRYING MY FIANCÉ.
RHODA, WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT
ABOUT TODAY? REMEMBER?
THE INTERVIEW. YEAH.
OH, RHODA, YOU GOT UP EARLY.
YOU WENT DOWN TO GET THE PAPER.
- OH, THAT WAS REALLY SWEET.
- WILL YOU HURRY UP, PLEASE,
AND READ IT?
OR SHOULD I? YOU.
GOOD.
OH, MARY.
MMM.
HE LOVES YOU. YEAH?
HE RAVES. LET ME SEE.
"BRINGING A BRIGHT SMILE
AND INFECTIOUS VIVACITY...
"TO HER OTHERWISE HUMDRUM
NEWSROOM DUTIES AT WJM...
"IS MARY RICHARDS, THE
BEST-LOOKING THING...
TO EVER HIT
MINNEAPOLIS NEWS." YEA.
OH, NO.
"BEST-LOOKING" IS AN "OH, NO"?
"LOU GRANT, WHO MARY STILL
CALLS MR. GRANT AFTER TWO YEARS,
IS A TOUGH BOSS BUT STILL HASN'T
BROKEN HER INDOMITABLE SPIRIT."
MMM! OH, NO!
- ANOTHER "OH, NO"?
- "THE HARD-DRINKING GRANT..." [Groans]
OH, RHODA, THIS
IS JUST TERRIBLE.
I MEAN, IT MAKES IT SOUND LIKE I
WANT TO TAKE OVER THE NEWSROOM...
AND THAT MR. GRANT
IS SOME SORT OF...
OH, THIS IS TERRIBLE.
MY WHOLE LIFE HAS PROBABLY BEEN
RUINED BY THAT ONE ROTTEN ARTICLE.
- GOOD PICTURE OF YOU THOUGH.
- YOU THINK SO?
YOUR HAIR LOOKS GREAT.
MORNING, MURRAY. OH.
MORNING, MAR. YOU'RE LATE.
I'VE MISSED YOUR BRIGHT
SMILE AND INFECTIOUS VIVACITY...
AROUND THIS OTHERWISE
HUMDRUM NEWSROOM.
MURRAY, I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
MARY, I WAS ONLY TEASING.
NO ONE WITH ANY INTELLIGENCE TAKES
THOSE TV COLUMN THINGS SERIOUSLY.
GOOD MORNING, MURRAY.
GOOD MORNING, TED.
MARY, I'M GOING TO
BE HONEST WITH YOU.
I NEVER THOUGHT THAT
YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE,
WOULD BETRAY ME LIKE THIS.
TED! I DIDN'T BETRAY YOU.
LOOK. THERE'S NOT ONE WORD
ABOUT YOU IN THE WHOLE ARTICLE.
YOU'RE NOT EVEN MENTIONED.
ALTHOUGH I DID TALK
ABOUT YOU, A LOT.
- I MEAN, HE
JUST DIDN'T PUT IT IN.
- WHY DIDN'T HE?
TED, I DON'T KNOW. BELIEVE ME...
THE WHOLE ARTICLE DIDN'T
TURN OUT THE WAY I WANTED IT TO.
"MARY RICHARDS, THE BEST-LOOKING
THING TO EVER HIT MINNEAPOLIS NEWS."
TED, I'M SURE HE MEANT "WOMAN."
OH.
SAY, MURR, JUST BETWEEN US GUYS,
UH, IF MARY WERE A MAN, WOULD
SHE BE BETTER LOOKING THAN I AM?
TED, IF MARY WERE A DUCK, SHE'D
BE BETTER LOOKING THAN YOU ARE.
[Lou] MORNING.
DID HE SAY "GOOD
MORNING," OR "MORNING"?
JUST "MORNING."
[Knocking] COME IN.
UH, MR. GRANT, I-I CAN
EXPLAIN ABOUT THAT.
OKAY.
TAKE A SHOT AT IT.
WELL, I'LL... I'LL CERTAINLY
GIVE IT... GIVE IT A TRY.
YEAH? MR. GRANT, I DIDN'T
SAY ANY OF THOSE THINGS.
- HUH?
- UH, WELL, YOU'RE...
THAT'S NOT ENTIRELY
TRUE. MM-HMM.
- I DID, UH, SAY SOME OF THOSE
THINGS, BUT NOT THAT WAY.
- MM-HMM.
JUST NOT THE WAY
THAT IT CAME OUT.
NOW DO YOU SEE WHY I
NEVER GIVE INTERVIEWS, MARY?
I DO, AND YOU'RE RIGHT,
MR. GRANT, ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
DARN RIGHT, I'M RIGHT!
BUT THAT DOESN'T DO ME A WHOLE
LOT OF GOOD RIGHT NOW, DOES IT?
BECAUSE THE PEOPLE WHO
READ THIS ARE GONNA THINK...
I'M A MAN WHO DRINKS
AS MUCH AS I DRINK...
WHILE YOU STRUGGLE TO HOLD
EVERYTHING TOGETHER AROUND HERE.
I MEAN, THIS ISN'T
THE KIND OF CLIPPING...
I'D TAKE UPSTAIRS TO
TRY TO GET A RAISE, IS IT?
- I'M SORRY, MR. GRANT.
- I KNOW YOU'RE SORRY,
BUT UNFORTUNATELY, THE READING
PUBLIC OF MINNEAPOLIS AND ST. PAUL...
WHICH INCLUDES MY WIFE, MY NEIGHBORS,
MY CHILDREN AND MY GRANDCHILDREN...
DON'T KNOW YOU'RE SORRY.
YOUR-YOUR GRANDCHILDREN?
THOSE LITTLE TOTS WHO ONCE
LOOKED UP TO THEIR OLD GRANDPA.
MR. GRANT, ABBY AND AMY
AREN'T EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO READ.
THEY HEAR IT IN THE STREET.
BUT, THESE THINGS HAPPEN.
- WELL, I FEEL JUST TERRIBLE.
- GOOD.
MR. GRANT, WHAT IF I CALL
MARK WILLIAMS AND ASK HIM TO...
ON THE OTHER HAND,
IT MIGHT BE BETTER...
TO JUST LEAVE WELL
ENOUGH... BAD ENOUGH ALONE.
DON'T YOU THINK? MMM.
WELL, AT LEAST YOU
CAME OFF WELL. OH, WELL.
- HE DIDN'T GET FRESH?
- UH, NO, MR. GRANT, HE DIDN'T.
YOU'RE NOT GOING OUT WITH HIM?
YES, MR. GRANT, I AM.
DID I NOT TELL YOU THAT WAS THE
BEST RESTAURANT IN ALL OF ST. PAUL?
YOU DID, AND IT WAS.
I WAS JUST SO EMBARRASSED
THAT TED SHOWED UP.
MARY, ARE YOU REALLY
SURE THAT I CAN'T MAKE UP...
FOR GETTING YOU INTO
TROUBLE AT THE STATION?
OH, NO, MARK, REALLY, I TOLD
YOU. I'D JUST AS SOON FORGET IT.
WELL, I JUST FEEL THAT I
SHOULD DO SOMETHING.
YOU ALREADY HAVE. I
HAD A LOVELY EVENING.
SO DID I.
CAN I SPEND THE NIGHT?
UH, NO.
OKAY, SEE YA.
[No Audio]
[Knocking]
HI.
NO, KID. I'M ALONE.
HOW YOU DOING?
I'M NOT SURE. WELL,
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
RHODA? WHAT?
- DO YOU THINK I'M UNDERSEXED?
- I HOPE SO.
I'D LIKE TO THINK THERE'S ONE
THING I'M BETTER AT THAN YOU ARE.
LET ME TELL YOU WHAT
JUST HAPPENED HERE.
- I WENT OUT WITH MARK. YOU KNOW, WILLIAMS?
- YEAH.
WE WENT TO DINNER AND WE HAD
A REALLY NICE TIME, YOU KNOW?
AND THEN HE BROUGHT ME
HOME. HE BROUGHT ME UP HERE.
WE GOT RIGHT... RIGHT
ABOUT HERE. YEAH, YEAH?
AND HE SAID, UH, "CAN
I SPEND THE NIGHT?"
AND I SAID, "NO."
- AND HE SAID, "OKAY. SEE YA."
- YEAH?
THAT'S IT. HE SAID,
"OKAY. SEE YA," AND LEFT.
HMM. IN ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION,
MAR, WE DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE UNDERSEXED.
YOU DIDN'T GIVE YOURSELF
A CHANCE TO FIND OUT.
RHODA!
MAR, YOU WANNA KNOW
IF I'M UNDERSEXED?
I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT. [Chuckles]
WILL YOU BE SERIOUS?
I MEAN, I HARDLY KNEW HIM.
ONE DATE. JUST ONE DATE.
RHODA, TELL ME. WHAT
WOULD YOU HAVE DONE?
WITH MARK? YEAH.
- PROBABLY THE EXACT
SAME THING YOU DID, KID.
- REALLY?
DO I DETECT A NOTE OF SURPRISE?
NO. NO, NO, NO. IT'S JUST THAT
IT'S PURELY A PERSONAL MATTER.
MARY, I TOO HAVE
STANDARDS, BELIEVE IT OR NOT.
I DO, I DO, I BELIEVE IT.
IT'S JUST THAT SOMETIMES I THINK
MAYBE I HAVE OVERLY STANDARDS.
IT'S GOOD WHAT YOU DID.
I THINK HE WAS TESTING YOU, TO
FIND OUT WHAT KIND OF A GIRL YOU ARE.
NOW HE KNOWS, AND
HE'LL RESPECT YOU FOR IT.
AND HE'LL CALL YOU AS SOON
AS HE CAN. YOU REALLY THINK SO?
NO, BUT MY MOTHER DOES.
[Knocking]
OH, RHODA, WHAT NOW?
THING IS, YOU'D BE SURPRISED...
HOW MANY GIRLS SAY "YES"
WHEN I ASK THEM THAT QUESTION.
IT'S THE LAW OF
AVERAGES AND ALL THAT.
COME ON IN.
CERTAINLY HOPE I DIDN'T MESS
UP A BATTING STREAK. NO, NO.
I JUST SHOULDN'T HAVE TRIED
SUCH A DUMB THING WITH YOU.
- IT WAS DUMB, WASN'T IT?
- IT SURE WAS.
- HOW DUMB?
- OH, GOSH.
UH, VERY DUMB.
- TOO DUMB TO EVER CONSIDER
GOING OUT WITH ME AGAIN?
- NO.
GOOD.
NOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE TO
CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT... NO.
SOMETIMES THAT WORKS TOO.
SEE YA.
[Mews]
WORLD ON WITH HER SMILE ♪
♪ WHO CAN TAKE A NOTHING DAY ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY MAKE IT
ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE ♪
♪ WELL, IT'S YOU, GIRL
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT ♪
♪ WITH EACH GLANCE AND EVERY
LITTLE MOVEMENT YOU SHOW IT ♪
♪ LOVE IS ALL AROUND
NO NEED TO WASTE IT ♪
♪ YOU CAN HAVE THE TOWN
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪♪
MORNING, MAR. HI.
- HERE'S THAT PURSE.
- OH, THANKS.
I REALIZED I DIDN'T HAVE A
PURSE TO MATCH MY NEW DRESS,
AND I REALLY WANTED TO
WEAR IT TODAY, SO THANKS A LOT.
LISTEN, NEXT TIME I
WANT TO WEAR MY PURSE,
WILL YOU LEND ME
YOUR DRESS AND SHOES?
YEAH, SURE. AND YOUR BODY.
AW. YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT TODAY?
- WELL, I'M BEING INTERVIEWED.
- OOH. FOR WHAT, A JOB?
NO. OH, I GET IT.
YOU'D RATHER NOT TELL
OLD RHODA, IS THAT IT?
WELL, I SEE, MARY. I
UNDERSTAND. MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
FRIENDS GET TOO CLOSE, YOU
NEED YOUR PRIVACY... RHODA, LOOK...
I'LL TELL YOU AFTER,
IF IT GOES OKAY, OKAY?
OKAY. SURE, MAR.
LOOK, I UNDERSTAND.
ONLY, YOU CAN'T BORROW
MY PURSE. OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU.
I'M BEING INTERVIEWED BY A GUY WHO
WRITES A TV COLUMN IN THE NEWSPAPER.
YOU'RE KIDDING.
THAT'S FANTASTIC. YEAH.
- WHY YOU?
- RHODA.
I'M SORRY. NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
ACTUALLY, I ASKED HIM
THE SAME QUESTION.
HE SAID HE THOUGHT IT WOULD
MAKE AN INTERESTING ARTICLE.
YOU KNOW, I'M THE ONLY WOMAN
IN THE NEWSROOM AND ALL. YEAH.
HEY, RHODA, DO YOU THINK
THIS DRESS IS TOO SEXY?
MARY, THERE'S NO SUCH
THING AS "TOO SEXY."
I JUST DON'T WANT TO LOOK LIKE
I'M FLAUNTING ANYTHING, YOU KNOW?
IT'S GREAT. MAYBE I SHOULD WEAR
SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE SERIOUS.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
IN THAT, YOU WILL LOOK
LIKE A SERIOUS USHER.
MARY, THINK. THIS IS A MAN
DOING THE INTERVIEW, RIGHT?
YEAH. LET ME TAKE A LOOK.
OH, RHODA, I'M JUST SO NERVOUS. I DON'T
KNOW WHAT TO... WHAT AM I GONNA TALK ABOUT?
YOU DON'T HAVE TO TALK. I DON'T?
IT'S AN INTERVIEW, REMEMBER?
HOW ABOUT THIS? THAT'S A BLOUSE.
MARY, LOOK. THE GUY'S GONNA
ASK YOU QUESTIONS, RIGHT?
YOU WILL ANSWER THEM. THAT'S
NOT TALKING, THAT'S ANSWERING.
YEAH, BUT WHAT ABOUT IN BETWEEN?
I MEAN, I WANT TO
BE WITTY AND STUFF.
DO YOU THINK HENRY KISSINGER
NOTICES IF JILL ST. JOHN IS WITTY?
NO. STUFF, YES.
SEE? THAT'S WHAT I MEAN. I
NEVER SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
I'M GONNA WRITE
IT DOWN AND USE IT.
I DON'T THINK THE MAN
WOULD BE TOO IMPRESSED...
IF YOU SAT THERE AND
READ WITTY THINGS TO HIM.
MARY, HE'S JUST A GUY. YOU KNOW, YOU
HAVE VERY LITTLE TROUBLE IN THAT AREA.
WHAT'S HIS NAME ANYHOW?
MARK WILLIAMS. MAYBE YOU
BETTER WEAR A SUIT OF ARMOR.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU KNOW HIM?
NOT IN PERSON, BUT YOU'VE
READ HIS COLUMN, HUH?
YEAH. HE'S A DESTROYER.
SO HE'S A LITTLE CRITICAL
OF TV. A LITTLE CRITICAL?
DID YOU READ HIM
THIS MORNING? NO.
AFTER HE GOT THROUGH
KILLING ALL THE NEW SHOWS,
I GUESS HE DECIDED TO
TAKE A SECOND LOOK...
AT THE SHOWS HE HAD
MURDERED LAST YEAR.
LISTEN... "THOUGH THIS SERIES
CONTINUES IN ITS ENORMOUS POPULARITY,
"IT IS INCONCEIVABLE TO ME THAT
IT WOULD HOLD THE INTEREST...
OF ANYONE OVER THE AGE OF NINE."
WHAT SHOW IS THAT?
SESAME STREET, MAR.
I'M GONNA GO CHANGE.
MORNING, MURRAY. MORNING, MAR.
YOU KNOW, I DID THE
DUMBEST THING THIS MORNING.
[Laughs] YOU WANNA
KNOW WHAT I DID?
UH, YOU DRESSED LIKE A GUY?
YOU DON'T LIKE IT?
YEAH, I DO. [Laughs]
IT'S KIND OF CUTE.
I BOUGHT A SUIT LIKE
THAT FOR MY SON.
WELL, I DIDN'T START
OUT WEARING THIS.
I MEAN, I MUST HAVE GONE
THROUGH ABOUT SIX DUMB OUTFITS...
WORRYING ABOUT THE RIGHT IMAGE,
AND THIS IS WHAT I FINALLY
CAME UP WITH FOR THE INTERVIEW.
- WHAT INTERVIEW?
- OH, DIDN'T I TELL YOU?
MARK WILLIAMS IS INTERVIEWING
ME TODAY AT LUNCH.
- WELL, WHY YOU, MAR?
- [Sighs] BECAUSE I WORK IN A NEWSROOM,
AND BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN...
WHO'S DRESSED LIKE A MAN.
MISTAKE.
AN INTERVIEW...
AH, THAT'S TERRIFIC.
YOU ASKED LOU, DIDN'T YOU?
UH, WELL, NO,
NOT... NOT EXACTLY.
I MEAN, WELL, NOT IN SO MANY
WORDS. HOW MANY WORDS?
- NONE.
- MMM.
WELL, LISTEN, I STILL COULD. I MEAN,
IF YOU REALLY THINK IT'S NECESSARY.
IT JUST NEVER OCCURRED
TO ME TO ASK HIS PERMISSION.
I MEAN, IT IS MY OWN LUNCH HOUR.
STILL, I DO WORK HERE, DON'T I?
SO, I GUESS... WELL, I COULD. I
MEAN, IF YOU REALLY THINK I...
BUT DO YOU THINK
MR. GRANT WOULD MIND?
LOU MIND WHAT? OH, WELL,
AN INTERVIEW I SAID YES TO.
MIND AN INTERVIEW?
THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS.
WHAT RIGHT DOES HE HAVE TO
TELL PEOPLE WHO THEY CAN TALK TO?
I MEAN, WE'RE STILL
INDIVIDUALS HERE.
MAR, THAT INTERVIEW
GOES ON. RIGHT.
WHAT TIME SHOULD I BE THERE?
TED, MARY IS THE ONE
BEING INTERVIEWED.
WHY WOULD ANYONE
WANT TO INTERVIEW YOU?
AFTER ALL, WHAT COULD I
POSSIBLY HAVE TO SAY, IS THAT IT?
EXCUSE ME.
MARY'S A LITTLE TESTY
TODAY, ISN'T SHE?
TED, DIDN'T IT OCCUR TO YOU
THAT YOU MAY HAVE INSULTED HER?
NO. OH... YOU MEAN, UH...
OH, WELL, I MEAN,
AFTER ALL, IT ISN'T FAIR.
SHE'S NOT AN ANCHORMAN.
THEN AGAIN, IT'S NOT HER FAULT.
THAT'S RIGHT, TED. SO WHY
DON'T YOU APOLOGIZE TO HER?
OH, MAR? MAR, I...
I... LIKE YOUR SUIT.
THANKS, TED.
SAY, MAR...
- UH, WHEN IS
YOUR LITTLE INTERVIEW?
- TODAY AT LUNCH.
OH. WHY?
OH, I WAS JUST WONDERING.
YOU MIGHT GO TO THE SAME
RESTAURANT I'M GOING TO,
AND I MIGHT BE ABLE TO STOP BY
THE TABLE, SAY HELLO, THAT'S ALL.
WHERE ARE YOU HAVING LUNCH?
I DON'T KNOW YET. WHERE
ARE YOU HAVING LUNCH?
I DON'T KNOW YET.
WHERE IS SHE HAVING
LUNCH, MURRAY?
SHE DOESN'T KNOW YET.
AND THEY CALL THIS A NEWSROOM.
LOOK, MARY, I DON'T WANT
TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO,
BUT I REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD
MENTION THAT INTERVIEW TO LOU.
YOU REALLY THINK SO,
MURRAY? I MEAN, EVEN THOUGH...
AND FAST, BEFORE TED
THINKS OF IT. OH, COME ON.
OH, MURRAY, I CAN'T BELIEVE...
UH, MR. GRANT, I WAS
WONDERING IF YOU'D MIND...
MARY, DON'T WEAR PANTS
IN THE OFFICE ANYMORE.
MR. GRANT.
YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE
RIGHT. LISTEN TO ME.
DID YOU HEAR WHAT I JUST DID?
I SAID I DON'T WANT YOU
TO WEAR SOMETHING.
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES
IT MAKE WHAT YOU WEAR,
AS LONG AS YOU DO YOUR JOB.
RIGHT. IT WAS A PURELY
ARBITRARY, PIGHEADED DEMAND.
AND YET...
UH, I DIDN'T ASK YOU MY
QUESTION. OH? WHAT IS IT?
UH, WELL, YOU KNOW
MARK WILLIAMS. THAT JERK.
YOU DO KNOW HIM. MM-HMM.
WHY IS HE A JERK?
BECAUSE HE HATES TV, THAT'S WHY.
I LIKE TV. I WORK
IN IT, AND I LIKE IT.
- BESIDES, I DON'T LIKE
THE WAY HE OPERATES.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "OPERATES"?
WELL, LET'S SAY HE USES HIS COLUMN
TO IMPROVE HIS SOCIAL POSITION.
OH, MR. GRANT,
I CAN'T BELIEVE...
LAST YEAR, HE WENT OUT TO HOLLYWOOD
AND INTERVIEWED THE GOLDDIGGERS.
I DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG IN WRITING
A COLUMN ABOUT THE GOLDDIGGERS.
NO, NO, NOT A
COLUMN. TEN COLUMNS.
ONE COLUMN ON EACH GOLDDIGGER.
WHY ARE WE TALKING
ABOUT MARK WILLIAMS?
OH, WELL, HE WANTS
TO DO AN INTERVIEW.
TELL HIM I'M NOT INTERESTED.
WELL, YOU SEE, IT'S NOT
YOU HE WANTED TO INTERVIEW.
IT... IT WAS... WHO THEN?
- ME.
- YOU?
WHY IS IT THAT EVERYBODY
IS SO SURPRISED...
WHEN THEY FIND OUT THAT MARK
WILLIAMS WANTS TO INTERVIEW ME?
- I'M NOT SURPRISED.
- UH, YOU'RE NOT?
IT FIGURES. IN MINNEAPOLIS, YOU'RE
THE CLOSEST THING TO A GOLDDIGGER.
MR. GRANT, I CAN
TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.
MARY, YOU'RE
REPRESENTING WJM-TV.
A MAN LIKE MARK
WILLIAMS DELIGHTS...
IN TAKING PERFECTLY INNOCENT
LITTLE THINGS YOU SAY AND TWISTING.
CANCEL HIM. YEAH.
I-I BETTER. I'LL CANCEL.
WAIT A MINUTE. COME HERE.
YOU CALL AND CANCEL NOW,
- HE'LL PROBABLY THINK
I TOLD YOU TO.
- YES.
WE WOULDN'T WANT HIM TO THINK
I'D DO A THING LIKE THAT, WOULD WE?
- NO.
- YOU BETTER GO
TO LUNCH WITH HIM.
YES. AW, I'M MAKING
TOO BIG A DEAL OUT OF IT.
IT'LL BE FUN.
YOU GET YOUR NAME IN THE
PAPER. YOUR FOLKS'LL READ IT.
THEY'LL BE PROUD OF YOU.
AW, SURE. HAVE A NICE TIME.
- OKAY, THANKS.
- JUST DON'T SAY ANYTHING.
RIGHT.
[Blows]
[Blows]
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG
WITH THE TAPE RECORDER.
IT'S NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE.
MAYBE IT NEEDS NEW BATTERIES.
NO, NO, NO. NO, I PUT BRAND-NEW
BATTERIES IN IT JUST ABOUT FOUR...
FOUR MONTHS AGO.
DO YOU HAVE A PENCIL?
UH, YEAH. ARE YOU GONNA
TAKE DOWN EVERYTHING I SAY?
- I LIKE TO GET
THE QUOTES STRAIGHT.
- THE-THE QUOTES?
MM-HMM. HOW ABOUT
A PIECE OF PAPER?
YEAH.
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY
BATTERIES IN THERE, DO YOU?
[Laughs] OH, NO.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S START
WITH YOUR BOSS, LOU GRANT.
I UNDERSTAND THAT HE
DOESN'T LIKE ME VERY MUCH.
OH, NO! NO, NO.
- MR. GRANT DOESN'T
NOT LIKE YOU.
- YOU CALL HIM "MR. GRANT"?
OH, YES, I DO.
I MEAN, I COULD CALL
HIM LOU, IF I WANTED TO,
BUT HE JUST, YOU KNOW, SEEMS
LIKE MORE OF A MR. GRANT, THAT'S ALL.
- HMM.
- YOU'RE WRITING THAT DOWN?
MM-HMM.
GO ON.
OH. WELL, HE'S, UH... HE'S
TERRIFIC TO WORK FOR.
I MEAN, I REALLY LOVE HIM.
WE-WE JUST THINK HE'S THE
DEAREST MAN TO WORK FOR.
- HE'S... WE ALL THINK HE'S A...
- A SAINT.
OH, NO, OF COURSE
HE'S NOT A SAINT.
NO, SOMETIMES HE'S
VERY... UNSAINTLY.
LOTS. I MEAN, WE
JUST THINK... HOLD IT.
I CAN'T WRITE THAT FAST.
NO, OF COURSE...
HE'S NOT A... SAINT.
UH, WE... WRONG. NO.
THIS ISN'T GONNA WORK.
WHY DIDN'T I LEARN HOW TO TAKE
SHORTHAND WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE?
WELL, LISTEN, I TAKE
SHORTHAND. GOOD. YOU DO IT.
UH, YOU MEAN YOU WANT
ME TO TAKE DOWN MY OWN...
JUST WRITE DOWN
WHAT YOU TELL ME.
- NOW WHERE WERE WE?
- UH, MR. GRANT. LOU.
THE GUYS AT THE OFFICE EVER
TREAT YOU LIKE ONE OF THE BOYS?
UH, NO. NO, JUST THE OPPOSITE.
I MEAN... WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WELL, NEWSROOMS
ARE PRETTY RAUNCHY...
ROUGH LANGUAGE, HEAVY DRINKING.
HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT THAT, AS A WOMAN?
- OH, FINE.
- OH.
I MEAN, UH, I'M USED TO IT.
SORT OF.
TELL ME ABOUT TED BAXTER.
OH! WELL, WHAT DO
YOU WANT TO KNOW?
IS HE REALLY AN IDIOT?
TED? AN IDIOT? [Laughs]
OH, GOSH, NO.
UH, ACTUALLY, TED IS EXACTLY
THE WAY HE APPEARS ON THE AIR.
YOU KNOW, ONLY
BETTER. MUCH BETTER.
- HE'D JUST ABOUT HAVE TO BE.
- ACTUALLY, UH,
TED IS PRETTY DECEPTIVE.
HE IS. HE IS DECEPTIVE.
- ARE YOU MARRIED?
- NO, I'M NOT. ARE YOU?
UH, NO. I'M...
OH, I'M SORRY. THAT WAS AN
INTERVIEW QUESTION, WASN'T IT?
SEE, NO, I THOUGHT YOU WERE ASKING
ME AS A PERSON, YOU KNOW, AND NOT AS...
"NOT MARRIED."
WELL, MAYBE JUST A
LITTLE BIT OF BOTH AT ONCE.
LISTEN, I AM JUST SO NERVOUS ABOUT
THIS WHOLE THING TURNING OUT BADLY...
THAT I CAN'T BE MYSELF,
I CAN'T RELAX... MARY.
MARY, THERE IS NO WAY THIS
INTERVIEW IS GONNA TURN OUT BADLY.
OH, WHY NOT?
BECAUSE IF IT TURNED OUT BADLY, WHEN YOU
READ IT TOMORROW MORNING, YOU'D BE UPSET,
AND THEN YOU WOULDN'T GO OUT WITH
ME TOMORROW NIGHT WHEN I ASK YOU,
- WHICH IS WHAT I'M DOING
RIGHT NOW.
- OH, UH, GO OUT?
- MMM.
- [Giggles]
YOU KNOW WHAT JUST
CROSSED MY MIND?
THAT IF I SAID NO TO GOING
OUT WITH YOU... [Laughs]
THEN THE STORY
MIGHT TURN OUT BADLY.
SO, WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?
[Mary] NO, I'D LIKE
TO, VERY MUCH.
[Williams] I KNOW A TERRIFIC
LITTLE CHINESE RESTAURANT...
RIGHT ACROSS FROM THE MUSIC
HALL. YES, I THINK I'VE HEARD OF IT.
THEY HAVE THE
BEST PEKING DUCK...
OH! THERE YOU ARE, MAR.
TED, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
OH, WELL, LOU WAS
LOOKING FOR YOU,
AND I VOLUNTEERED
TO GO OUT TO FIND YOU.
UH, TED BAXTER, ANCHORMAN.
MARK WILLIAMS. SORRY.
TED BAXTER, THIS IS MARK...
YOU'D BETTER SCOOT ALONG,
MARY. YOU KNOW HOW LOU CAN GET.
WELL, MARK, I'M AWFULLY
SORRY. NOT AT ALL.
I KNOW HOW IT IS
WHEN YOU'RE IN NEWS.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT
THE DESSERT. I'LL EAT IT.
OH. THE INTERVIEW.
UH, MARY?
I CAN'T READ SHORTHAND.
OH, WELL, I'LL TYPE IT
UP AND SEND IT TO YOU.
BY 3:00, OKAY? I HAVE
A DEADLINE. OKAY.
I'LL CALL YOU. GOOD.
I SLEEP IN THE RAW.
HMM? YOU INTERVIEWERS
USUALLY ASK THAT KIND OF STUFF.
THIS ISN'T AN INTERVIEW.
OH, WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE DO HAVE AN INTERVIEW?
HERE. JUST SPEAK
RIGHT INTO THERE.
IT ALL STARTED AT A LITTLE
5,000-WATT RADIO STATION IN FRESNO.
THINGS WERE REALLY
TOUGH IN THOSE DAYS...
I MEAN, REALLY TOUGH.
[Knocking]
[Knocking Continues]
WHO IS IT? IT'S ME, MAR, RHODA.
HIYA. RHODA, WHAT
TIME IS IT ANYWAY?
- 5:45 A.M.
- I COULD HAVE FIGURED OUT
THE A.M. PART.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP SO EARLY?
MARY, WHAT ARE YOU
STILL DOING IN BED?
HOW CAN YOU SLEEP ON
SUCH AN IMPORTANT DAY?
ACTUALLY, I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT.
I OVERSLEPT ON MY
SISTER'S WEDDING DAY.
IN FACT, I SLEPT THROUGH
MY SISTER'S WEDDING DAY.
I WAS DEPRESSED. SHE
WAS MARRYING MY FIANCÉ.
RHODA, WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT
ABOUT TODAY? REMEMBER?
THE INTERVIEW. YEAH.
OH, RHODA, YOU GOT UP EARLY.
YOU WENT DOWN TO GET THE PAPER.
- OH, THAT WAS REALLY SWEET.
- WILL YOU HURRY UP, PLEASE,
AND READ IT?
OR SHOULD I? YOU.
GOOD.
OH, MARY.
MMM.
HE LOVES YOU. YEAH?
HE RAVES. LET ME SEE.
"BRINGING A BRIGHT SMILE
AND INFECTIOUS VIVACITY...
"TO HER OTHERWISE HUMDRUM
NEWSROOM DUTIES AT WJM...
"IS MARY RICHARDS, THE
BEST-LOOKING THING...
TO EVER HIT
MINNEAPOLIS NEWS." YEA.
OH, NO.
"BEST-LOOKING" IS AN "OH, NO"?
"LOU GRANT, WHO MARY STILL
CALLS MR. GRANT AFTER TWO YEARS,
IS A TOUGH BOSS BUT STILL HASN'T
BROKEN HER INDOMITABLE SPIRIT."
MMM! OH, NO!
- ANOTHER "OH, NO"?
- "THE HARD-DRINKING GRANT..." [Groans]
OH, RHODA, THIS
IS JUST TERRIBLE.
I MEAN, IT MAKES IT SOUND LIKE I
WANT TO TAKE OVER THE NEWSROOM...
AND THAT MR. GRANT
IS SOME SORT OF...
OH, THIS IS TERRIBLE.
MY WHOLE LIFE HAS PROBABLY BEEN
RUINED BY THAT ONE ROTTEN ARTICLE.
- GOOD PICTURE OF YOU THOUGH.
- YOU THINK SO?
YOUR HAIR LOOKS GREAT.
MORNING, MURRAY. OH.
MORNING, MAR. YOU'RE LATE.
I'VE MISSED YOUR BRIGHT
SMILE AND INFECTIOUS VIVACITY...
AROUND THIS OTHERWISE
HUMDRUM NEWSROOM.
MURRAY, I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
MARY, I WAS ONLY TEASING.
NO ONE WITH ANY INTELLIGENCE TAKES
THOSE TV COLUMN THINGS SERIOUSLY.
GOOD MORNING, MURRAY.
GOOD MORNING, TED.
MARY, I'M GOING TO
BE HONEST WITH YOU.
I NEVER THOUGHT THAT
YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE,
WOULD BETRAY ME LIKE THIS.
TED! I DIDN'T BETRAY YOU.
LOOK. THERE'S NOT ONE WORD
ABOUT YOU IN THE WHOLE ARTICLE.
YOU'RE NOT EVEN MENTIONED.
ALTHOUGH I DID TALK
ABOUT YOU, A LOT.
- I MEAN, HE
JUST DIDN'T PUT IT IN.
- WHY DIDN'T HE?
TED, I DON'T KNOW. BELIEVE ME...
THE WHOLE ARTICLE DIDN'T
TURN OUT THE WAY I WANTED IT TO.
"MARY RICHARDS, THE BEST-LOOKING
THING TO EVER HIT MINNEAPOLIS NEWS."
TED, I'M SURE HE MEANT "WOMAN."
OH.
SAY, MURR, JUST BETWEEN US GUYS,
UH, IF MARY WERE A MAN, WOULD
SHE BE BETTER LOOKING THAN I AM?
TED, IF MARY WERE A DUCK, SHE'D
BE BETTER LOOKING THAN YOU ARE.
[Lou] MORNING.
DID HE SAY "GOOD
MORNING," OR "MORNING"?
JUST "MORNING."
[Knocking] COME IN.
UH, MR. GRANT, I-I CAN
EXPLAIN ABOUT THAT.
OKAY.
TAKE A SHOT AT IT.
WELL, I'LL... I'LL CERTAINLY
GIVE IT... GIVE IT A TRY.
YEAH? MR. GRANT, I DIDN'T
SAY ANY OF THOSE THINGS.
- HUH?
- UH, WELL, YOU'RE...
THAT'S NOT ENTIRELY
TRUE. MM-HMM.
- I DID, UH, SAY SOME OF THOSE
THINGS, BUT NOT THAT WAY.
- MM-HMM.
JUST NOT THE WAY
THAT IT CAME OUT.
NOW DO YOU SEE WHY I
NEVER GIVE INTERVIEWS, MARY?
I DO, AND YOU'RE RIGHT,
MR. GRANT, ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
DARN RIGHT, I'M RIGHT!
BUT THAT DOESN'T DO ME A WHOLE
LOT OF GOOD RIGHT NOW, DOES IT?
BECAUSE THE PEOPLE WHO
READ THIS ARE GONNA THINK...
I'M A MAN WHO DRINKS
AS MUCH AS I DRINK...
WHILE YOU STRUGGLE TO HOLD
EVERYTHING TOGETHER AROUND HERE.
I MEAN, THIS ISN'T
THE KIND OF CLIPPING...
I'D TAKE UPSTAIRS TO
TRY TO GET A RAISE, IS IT?
- I'M SORRY, MR. GRANT.
- I KNOW YOU'RE SORRY,
BUT UNFORTUNATELY, THE READING
PUBLIC OF MINNEAPOLIS AND ST. PAUL...
WHICH INCLUDES MY WIFE, MY NEIGHBORS,
MY CHILDREN AND MY GRANDCHILDREN...
DON'T KNOW YOU'RE SORRY.
YOUR-YOUR GRANDCHILDREN?
THOSE LITTLE TOTS WHO ONCE
LOOKED UP TO THEIR OLD GRANDPA.
MR. GRANT, ABBY AND AMY
AREN'T EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO READ.
THEY HEAR IT IN THE STREET.
BUT, THESE THINGS HAPPEN.
- WELL, I FEEL JUST TERRIBLE.
- GOOD.
MR. GRANT, WHAT IF I CALL
MARK WILLIAMS AND ASK HIM TO...
ON THE OTHER HAND,
IT MIGHT BE BETTER...
TO JUST LEAVE WELL
ENOUGH... BAD ENOUGH ALONE.
DON'T YOU THINK? MMM.
WELL, AT LEAST YOU
CAME OFF WELL. OH, WELL.
- HE DIDN'T GET FRESH?
- UH, NO, MR. GRANT, HE DIDN'T.
YOU'RE NOT GOING OUT WITH HIM?
YES, MR. GRANT, I AM.
DID I NOT TELL YOU THAT WAS THE
BEST RESTAURANT IN ALL OF ST. PAUL?
YOU DID, AND IT WAS.
I WAS JUST SO EMBARRASSED
THAT TED SHOWED UP.
MARY, ARE YOU REALLY
SURE THAT I CAN'T MAKE UP...
FOR GETTING YOU INTO
TROUBLE AT THE STATION?
OH, NO, MARK, REALLY, I TOLD
YOU. I'D JUST AS SOON FORGET IT.
WELL, I JUST FEEL THAT I
SHOULD DO SOMETHING.
YOU ALREADY HAVE. I
HAD A LOVELY EVENING.
SO DID I.
CAN I SPEND THE NIGHT?
UH, NO.
OKAY, SEE YA.
[No Audio]
[Knocking]
HI.
NO, KID. I'M ALONE.
HOW YOU DOING?
I'M NOT SURE. WELL,
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
RHODA? WHAT?
- DO YOU THINK I'M UNDERSEXED?
- I HOPE SO.
I'D LIKE TO THINK THERE'S ONE
THING I'M BETTER AT THAN YOU ARE.
LET ME TELL YOU WHAT
JUST HAPPENED HERE.
- I WENT OUT WITH MARK. YOU KNOW, WILLIAMS?
- YEAH.
WE WENT TO DINNER AND WE HAD
A REALLY NICE TIME, YOU KNOW?
AND THEN HE BROUGHT ME
HOME. HE BROUGHT ME UP HERE.
WE GOT RIGHT... RIGHT
ABOUT HERE. YEAH, YEAH?
AND HE SAID, UH, "CAN
I SPEND THE NIGHT?"
AND I SAID, "NO."
- AND HE SAID, "OKAY. SEE YA."
- YEAH?
THAT'S IT. HE SAID,
"OKAY. SEE YA," AND LEFT.
HMM. IN ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION,
MAR, WE DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE UNDERSEXED.
YOU DIDN'T GIVE YOURSELF
A CHANCE TO FIND OUT.
RHODA!
MAR, YOU WANNA KNOW
IF I'M UNDERSEXED?
I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT. [Chuckles]
WILL YOU BE SERIOUS?
I MEAN, I HARDLY KNEW HIM.
ONE DATE. JUST ONE DATE.
RHODA, TELL ME. WHAT
WOULD YOU HAVE DONE?
WITH MARK? YEAH.
- PROBABLY THE EXACT
SAME THING YOU DID, KID.
- REALLY?
DO I DETECT A NOTE OF SURPRISE?
NO. NO, NO, NO. IT'S JUST THAT
IT'S PURELY A PERSONAL MATTER.
MARY, I TOO HAVE
STANDARDS, BELIEVE IT OR NOT.
I DO, I DO, I BELIEVE IT.
IT'S JUST THAT SOMETIMES I THINK
MAYBE I HAVE OVERLY STANDARDS.
IT'S GOOD WHAT YOU DID.
I THINK HE WAS TESTING YOU, TO
FIND OUT WHAT KIND OF A GIRL YOU ARE.
NOW HE KNOWS, AND
HE'LL RESPECT YOU FOR IT.
AND HE'LL CALL YOU AS SOON
AS HE CAN. YOU REALLY THINK SO?
NO, BUT MY MOTHER DOES.
[Knocking]
OH, RHODA, WHAT NOW?
THING IS, YOU'D BE SURPRISED...
HOW MANY GIRLS SAY "YES"
WHEN I ASK THEM THAT QUESTION.
IT'S THE LAW OF
AVERAGES AND ALL THAT.
COME ON IN.
CERTAINLY HOPE I DIDN'T MESS
UP A BATTING STREAK. NO, NO.
I JUST SHOULDN'T HAVE TRIED
SUCH A DUMB THING WITH YOU.
- IT WAS DUMB, WASN'T IT?
- IT SURE WAS.
- HOW DUMB?
- OH, GOSH.
UH, VERY DUMB.
- TOO DUMB TO EVER CONSIDER
GOING OUT WITH ME AGAIN?
- NO.
GOOD.
NOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE TO
CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT... NO.
SOMETIMES THAT WORKS TOO.
SEE YA.
[Mews]