Mary Tyler Moore (1970–1977): Season 3, Episode 3 - Who's in Charge Here? - full transcript
Despite the increase in pay, Lou isn't too happy about his promotion as the station's new Program Manager, as it is a job he will have to work hard at to succeed. He's also not happy about naming his News Director successor. When she learns that Lou plans on promoting within, Mary initially states she doesn't want the job despite Lou not having offered it to her. But after some reconsideration, Mary decides she does want the job, but finds out that Lou has given the job to Murray instead. Mary quietly fumes about not getting the job in large part because she's a woman, and about her increase in workload anyway as Murray gets adjusted to his new position. But the dynamic in the news room may change based on Murray and Mary's individual wants as well as the whims of the new Program Manager.
♪ WHO CAN TURN THE
WORLD ON WITH HER SMILE ♪
♪ WHO CAN TAKE A NOTHING DAY ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY MAKE IT
ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE ♪
♪ WELL, IT'S YOU, GIRL
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT ♪
♪ WITH EACH GLANCE AND EVERY
LITTLE MOVEMENT YOU SHOW IT ♪
♪ LOVE IS ALL AROUND
NO NEED TO WASTE IT ♪
♪ YOU CAN HAVE THE TOWN
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪♪
MARY, IS LOU IN HIS
OFFICE? UH, NO, HE ISN'T.
GOOD. I'LL GO RIGHT IN THEN.
- TED, YOU KNOW HE DOESN'T
LIKE ANYBODY IN THERE.
- I HAVE TO MAKE A PERSONAL CALL.
- WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH THE
PHONE IN YOUR DRESSING ROOM?
- I THINK IT'S TAPPED.
WHO WOULD TAP TED'S PHONE?
MAYBE THE F.B.I.
NEEDS A FEW LAUGHS.
MARY, YOU DIDN'T LET SOMEBODY
INTO MY OFFICE, DID YOU?
MR. GRANT, I AM THE
ASSOCIATE PRODUCER.
I'M JUST A LITTLE TOO BUSY
TO KEEP PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR...
THANKS A LOT, MARY. AT LEAST
YOU COULD'VE WARNED ME.
OH, NOW...
IF MR. GRANT STARTS
SHOUTING AT ME BECAUSE
I LET TED IN HIS OFFICE,
I AM GONNA SCREAM.
DON'T LET HIM.
RIGHT.
SEE THE SIGN ON THAT DOOR? IT'S
SAYS "LOU GRANT," NOT "REC ROOM."
MR. GRANT, I AM THE
ASSOCIATE PRODUCER HERE.
I MEAN, I DON'T MIND TYPING
YOUR PERSONAL LETTERS...
AND GETTING YOU COFFEE
OR STRAIGHTENING YOUR DESK.
BUT IF YOU WANT SOMEBODY TO
KEEP TED OUT OF YOUR OFFICE,
THEN I THINK YOU
OUGHTA HIRE A POLICE DOG.
NO OFFENSE.
NO. YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M SORRY.
WELL...
BUT YOU WON'T HAVE LOU GRANT
TO KICK AROUND MUCH LONGER.
MR. GRANT, WHAT'S THE
MATTER? YOU HAVEN'T BEEN, UH...
FIRED? WORSE.
I'VE BEEN... PROMOTED.
PROMOTED? WELL,
THAT'S WONDERFUL.
TO WHAT? PROGRAM MANAGER.
MURPHY JUST QUIT.
IT'S A BIG MOVE UP FOR
ME, AND A LOT MORE MONEY.
OH, MR. GRANT, I'M
JUST... I'M SO... SO VERY...
SO VERY HAPPY FOR YOU.
UH, M-MR. GRANT?
WHY AREN'T YOU HAPPY FOR YOU?
I'D BE HAPPY FOR ME WITH
THAT MONEY AND THIS JOB.
- OH, I'M SURE YOU'LL BE
VERY GOOD IN THAT JOB.
- MAYBE.
- BUT UP THERE I'M REALLY GONNA
HAVE TO WORK AT BEING GOOD.
- YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
DOWN HERE YOU WERE
GOOD WITHOUT EVEN WORKING.
UM... AT IT.
BUT IT ISN'T GONNA
BE EASY, MARY.
FOR EXAMPLE, MY FIRST JOB...
IS NAMING MY REPLACEMENT HERE.
OH, YES, THAT'S
RIGHT. THE NEW YOU.
- WILL IT BE ANYBODY I KNOW?
- WELL, SURE.
YOU'LL BE GLAD TO KNOW THAT MY
NEW POLICY AS PROGRAM MANAGER...
IS TO PROMOTE FROM WITHIN.
OH... OH, W... UH...
WELL, MR. GRANT, I JUST
WANT TO SAY THAT, UH,
I DON'T WANT THE JOB.
I DIDN'T OFFER IT TO YOU, MARY.
OH.
I'M CONSIDERING... EVERYBODY.
GOOD! GOOD, GOOD.
BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY REALLY CAPABLE
PEOPLE, UH, FROM, YOU KNOW, WITHIN...
WHO ARE, UH, CAPABLE
OF, UH, HANDLING THE JOB.
LIKE WHO?
OH! WELL, UH...
UM... MR. GRANT, I
DON'T WANT THE JOB.
NOT THAT I WOULD, YOU KNOW, W-WANT
YOU TO THINK THAT I... I THOUGHT THAT YOU,
YOU KNOW, WERE IN
ANY, UH, WAY CONSID...
MARY, HOW CAN YOU TAKE YOURSELF
OUT OF THE RUNNING FOR A JOB LIKE THAT?
BECAUSE I DON'T
THINK I WANT THAT JOB.
BUT, MARY, IT'S YOUR
DUTY AS A WOMAN...
TO TAKE WHATEVER YOU CAN
GET, WHETHER YOU WANT IT OR NOT.
I'VE MET A LOT OF GUYS
WHO FELT THAT WAY.
THE THING IS, PHYL,
I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN
OFFERED THE JOB.
BUT, MARY, SURELY YOU WILL BE. YOU
ARE, AFTER ALL, SECOND-IN-COMMAND.
UH-UH. NO, NO. NO.
WHEN MR. GRANT IS IN CHARGE,
NOBODY IS SECOND-IN-COMMAND.
OF COURSE, I DO SEEM LIKE
THE LOGICAL PERSON, DON'T I?
OF COURSE YOU ARE.
BUT, MARY, THIS ISN'T JUST YOU
REACHING FOR THE NEXT PLATEAU.
IT'S... IT'S US.
BUT WHAT IF "US" DOES A ROTTEN
JOB AND GETS HERSELF FIRED?
EXACTLY! WA...
RHODA! I DON'T THINK I'D DO A
ROTTEN JOB AND GET MYSELF FIRED.
I JUST DON'T KNOW IF BEING THE
HEAD OF A NEWSROOM IS A WOMAN'S JOB.
THERE YOU GO.
WOMAN'S JOB, MAN'S JOB.
THERE'S NO SUCH THING.
NAME ONE JOB A MAN CAN
HANDLE THAT A WOMAN CAN'T.
A FEMALE IMPERSONATOR.
HOPELESS.
RHODA, YOU THINK I
SHOULD GO AFTER THE JOB?
MARY, I THINK YOU OUGHTA GO
AFTER A HANDSOME, SUCCESSFUL GUY,
GET MARRIED, PREGNANT,
AND THEN BLAME HIM WHEN
YOU DON'T HAVE A CAREER.
HEY, WHAT IS THAT BOX THERE?
"FAST WHEELS DRAG STRIP SET"?
OH. YEAH, IT'S FOR BESS.
PHYLLIS SUGGESTED I GET IT
FOR HER FOR HER BIRTHDAY.
FAST WHEELS DRAG
STRIP FOR A GIRL?
GIRL, BOY... WHAT
DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?
GIRLS ARE ALWAYS SUPPOSED
TO GET LITTLE GIRL TOYS...
DOLLS, UH, PLAY
STOVES, LITTLE DISHES.
IT'S ALL PART OF THE PLOT...
TO LAUNCH THEM NICELY INTO
THEIR LITTLE ROLES AS HOUSEWIVES.
THAT'S WHERE I WENT WRONG.
YEAH, MAR, WHEN I WAS A KID WE
USED TO PLAY MOMMY AND DADDY.
I ALWAYS PLAYED MOMMY'S
UNMARRIED SISTER.
OH!
WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS
THAT BESS WILL LOVE THIS TOY.
I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT.
BOY. LOOKS PRETTY COMPLICATED.
I'LL SAY.
COME ON, PHYLLIS. COME OUT
HERE AND PUT THIS THING TOGETHER.
OH, DON'T LOOK AT ME.
I WAS ONE OF THOSE CUTE LITTLE GIRLS
WHO ALWAYS GOT DOLLS TO PLAY WITH.
THAT'S RIGHT. I ADMIT IT.
THAT'S ME... VICTIM OF THE
SYSTEM. MISS HELPLESS.
BUT, MARY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE.
THIS IS YOUR CHANCE.
GO AFTER THAT JOB, MARY.
TAKE THE PIECES OF YOUR
LIFE AND PUT THEM TOGETHER.
PHYLLIS, UM, TELL ME,
WHEN SHE GETS HER LIFE
TOGETHER, WILL SHE NEED BATTERIES?
LISTEN, YOU TWO
DON'T UNDERSTAND.
THIS JOB IS GONNA
MEAN COMING IN EARLY,
STAYING LATE, WORKING
STRAIGHT THROUGH LUNCH,
TAKING CARE OF A MILLION DETAILS,
KEEPING THE SPONSORS HAPPY,
WORKING LATE... IT'S...
EXACTLY WHAT I DO NOW.
COME IN.
WHAT IS IT, MARY?
WELL, MR. GRANT, IT'S ABOUT
WHAT I SAID YESTERDAY.
UM, YOU KNOW, A-ABOUT THE JOB.
- MY JOB?
- THAT'S THE ONE.
WELL, YOU'LL BE GLAD TO
KNOW THAT YOU DIDN'T GET IT.
UH... OH.
- YOU'RE NOT GLAD.
- WELL...
IT'S JUST, YOU SEE,
THAT I KINDA DECIDED...
THAT, UH, I WANTED
IT AFTER ALL, AND...
OH.
UM, MR. GRANT, DID THE FACT
THAT I SAID I DIDN'T WANT IT...
INFLUENCE YOUR DECISION?
NO.
SO, UH, WHO DID YOU
FINALLY PICK? MURRAY.
MURRAY? MM-HMM.
UH, MURRAY, HUH? THAT'S RIGHT.
OH! GREAT. GREAT CHOICE.
- YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.
- GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.
MR. GRANT, UM,
WHY WASN'T I A...
A GREAT CHOICE?
DOES IT HAVE ANYTHING
TO DO WITH MY ABILITY?
NO! ARE YOU KIDDING?
OH...
IT'S, UH...
IT'S NOT BECAUSE
I'M A WOMAN, IS IT?
OF COURSE IT IS.
HEY, LOU, COULDN'T I JUST
RUN THE OFFICE FROM HERE?
MURRAY, YOU RUN AN
OFFICE FROM AN OFFICE.
BESIDES, AN EXPENSE
ACCOUNT GOES WITH THE JOB.
OH. WELL, IN THAT CASE...
ANYWAY, GOOD LUCK.
YEAH, YOU TOO, MURRAY.
WITH ME AS YOUR PROGRAM
MANAGER, YOU'RE GONNA NEED IT.
THERE THEY ARE...
OUR NEW EXECUTIVES.
I JUST REMEMBERED
I FORGOT MY ASPIRIN.
HIYA, BOSS.
SAY, MURR, UH,
I SUPPOSE THERE MUST HAVE
BEEN A COUPLE OF TIMES...
WHEN YOU WERE MY WRITER
THAT I GAVE YOU A HARD TIME.
A HUNDRED AND 14
TIMES, TED. I KEPT TRACK.
NO KIDDING? WHY WOULD
YOU WANT TO KEEP TRACK?
I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST THOUGHT THAT MAYBE SOMEDAY
I MIGHT GET TO BE NEWS DIRECTOR.
HERE, LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT. SAY,
MAYBE I CAN TAKE YOU TO LUNCH TODAY, MURR.
SAY, MURR!
IT STILL SAYS "LOU GRANT" HERE. YOU'RE
GONNA HAVE TO GET YOURSELF A NEW DOOR.
YOU KNOW, SOMEHOW,
WHEN YOU'RE LEAVING,
THOSE THINGS TED SAYS
CAN BE REALLY CUTE.
MARY?
MARY, SAY, UH... UH, Y-YOU'RE
NOT MAD OR ANYTHING, ARE YA?
- NO. OF COURSE NOT.
- OH. YOU SURE?
WELL, MARY...
MR. GRANT?
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT, UM... ALL OF US, UH...
I'M, UH, GONNA MISS YOU.
AND I'M GONNA MISS YOU TOO.
THANK YOU, MR. GRANT. LET
ME HELP YOU. LET ME TAKE THAT.
WELL, MR. GRANT, IT'S ALL
YOURS. UH-HUH. UH-HUH.
OH, WOW.
MR. GRANT. MMM!
YOU LOOKING FOR
SOMETHING, MR. GRANT?
YEAH. MY DESK.
IT'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
A DESK HAS DRAWERS.
I NEED BIG DRAWERS.
THIS IS A TABLE.
WELL, MR. GRANT,
THAT'S ALL WE'VE GOT.
UH, IT'S THE UNCLUTTERED LOOK.
MAYBE, BUT WHEN I DUMP EVERYTHING HERE
ON TOP OF THERE, IT'S GONNA LOOK CLUTTERED.
WELL, I CAN ORDER ANOTHER DESK
FOR YOU, MR. GRANT, WITH DRAWERS.
NO, THAT'S OKAY.
ANYWAY, YOU'VE GOT LOTS OF CABINET
SPACE. I'LL JUST PUT EVERYTHING AWAY.
UH, ALMOST EVERYTHING. I
LIKE TO KEEP THIS CLOSE BY.
RIGHT HERE IN MY BOTTOM
DRAWER OF WHICH THERE ISN'T ANY.
MR. GRANT, YOU'VE GOT
A WET BAR RIGHT HERE.
THAT FAR, HUH?
I'M GONNA NEED A WASTEBASKET.
I'LL GET YOU ONE RIGHT AWAY.
MR. GRANT, ARE YOU
GONNA BE ALL RIGHT?
YEAH, FINE.
WELL, I'D BETTER BE
GETTING BACK TO THE OFFICE.
- DON'T WANT MURRAY
TO GET MAD AT ME.
- UH-HUH.
LISTEN, IF YOU NEED ANYTHING,
UH, YOU KNOW MY EXTENSION.
- RIGHT?
- RIGHT.
UH, I'LL BE CALLING YOU, MARY.
WELL, MR. GRANT,
HERE'S YOUR VERY
OWN WASTEBASKET.
THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME.
FIVE, SIX, SEVEN,
EIGHT, NINE, 10, 11, 12...
I'M SO GLAD I HEARD YOU
GIRLS THUMPING UP HERE.
THE MINUTE I HEARD YOU
THUMPING, I CAME RIGHT UP.
IT'S SO MUCH FUN DOING EXERCISES
TOGETHER. DON'T YOU THINK?
30, 31, 32, 33,
34, 35, 36, 37...
DOING THEM ALONE IS SO BORING.
THIS WAY IT GIVES ME
SOMEBODY TO TALK TO.
SHE NEVER GETS WINDED.
IT'S LIKE DOING CALISTHENICS
WITH HUBERT HUMPHREY.
49, 50!
AND THAT'S IT! OH, GOOD.
THAT'S IT? OH.
IN MY CREATIVE MOVEMENT CLASS,
WE USED TO FINISH WITH THINGS LIKE...
AU REVOIR TO SPRING.
WOULD YOU LIKE
TO SEE THAT, MARY?
UH, GOSH, I DON'T THINK SO,
PHYL. I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THAT.
YOU WOULD? VERY MUCH.
RHODA!
I CAN'T DO THAT ONE,
AU REVOIR TO SPRING.
NO, FOR THAT I NEED
TWO MEN AND A ROPE.
THAT'S TRUE OF
PRACTICALLY ANYTHING.
I KNOW! I KNOW!
THE BIRTH OF A FLOWER.
THE BIRTH OF A FLOWER. I HEARD.
I DIDN'T KNOW FLOWERS
HAD LABOR PAINS.
HEY, KIDS, I GOTTA
CALL IT A NIGHT.
WITH ALL THE CHANGES IN THE OFFICE,
I GOTTA BE IN AT THE CRACK OF DAWN.
MARY! WE GOT THE JOB!
NO, PHYLLIS, WE
DIDN'T GET THE JOB.
WE DIDN'T? NO.
MARY... PHYLLIS.
I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT
YOU'RE GOING TO SAY.
SO DO I. GOOD-BYE, MARY.
HEY, RHODA! WHAT?
WHERE ARE YOU, UH, GOING?
OH, I THOUGHT I'D, UH, YOU KNOW,
HANG AROUND THE BALLERINA UNION HALL,
SEE IF I CAN PICK UP A GIG.
OH, HOW COULD
THEY DO THIS TO US?
PHYLLIS, I'M THE ONE
WHO DIDN'T GET THE JOB.
BUT, MARY, DON'T YOU SEE
THAT THIS AFFRONT TO YOU...
IS AN AFFRONT TO ALL WOMANKIND?
I KNOW, PHYLLIS.
SO, WHO'D THEY GIVE IT TO?
MURRAY. HA! I MIGHT HAVE KNOWN.
A MAN. PHYLLIS, I AM THE
ONLY WOMAN IN THE NEWSROOM.
THE CHANCES WERE, IF IT
WASN'T ME IT WAS GONNA BE A MAN.
I SUPPOSE YOU'RE JUST GOING
TO TAKE THIS HUMILIATION.
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I AM DELIGHTED
THAT MURRAY HAS THE JOB INSTEAD OF ME.
- OH, MARY...
- I MEAN IT! REALLY!
MR. GRANT MADE THE
WHOLE THING LOOK SO EASY.
POOR MURRAY, ALREADY HE'S OVERWORKED AND
PRESSURED. THE MAN'S ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE.
YES! AND IT'S ALWAYS A MAN
WHO GETS THOSE OPPORTUNITIES.
PHYLLIS, I DON'T WANT THE JOB.
MARY, WE HAVE TO DECIDE ON
A COURSE OF ACTION FOR YOU.
I'VE GOT TO GET THROUGH
TO YOU IF IT TAKES ALL NIGHT.
LUCKILY, I'M FREE.
HELLO?
OH, HI.
IT WAS... IT WAS
REALLY WONDERFUL.
NO, REALLY. IT WAS A
WONDERFUL EVENING.
WELL, I, UH...
LISTEN, IT'S, UH, KINDA
HARD TO TALK RIGHT NOW.
OH! OH! YOU GO RIGHT AHEAD.
WE CAN DISCUSS THIS LATER.
THANKS, RHODA.
LUNCH TUESDAY?
NO, I CAN'T MAKE IT.
NOT WEDNESDAY EITHER.
COME IN.
FIRST ONE I'VE
GOT OPEN IS A, UH,
WEEK FROM FRIDAY.
I'LL PUT YOU DOWN FOR
THAT. OKAY? WE'LL CONFIRM.
LUNCH. THAT'S ALL I DO IN
THIS JOB IS GO TO LUNCH.
YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO WHEN I GO
ON ALL THESE LUNCHES? I HAVE TO EAT LUNCH.
WHAT ABOUT A DRINK,
MURRAY? I COULD USE ONE.
- WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING, MARY?
- OH, I'LL HAVE A MAI TAI.
UNLESS YOU'RE OUT OF GARDENIAS.
GOOD TO SEE YOU GUYS.
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO. I'LL JUST
HAVE A DIET COLA, IF YOU'VE GOT ONE.
I GOT EVERYTHING.
SCOTCH, MURRAY? GREAT.
- YES, MR. GRANT?
- MRS. THORN.
SOMEBODY PUT WASTEPAPER
IN MY WASTEPAPER BASKET.
OH, I THINK I KNOW
WHAT YOU MEAN.
- I FOUND THAT
AND I PUT IT IN THE BAR.
- OH.
GOOD. GOOD.
MRS. THORN, TOMORROW MAYBE WE
COULD MOVE MY DESK OVER THAT WAY.
YES, MR. GRANT. GOOD.
YOU KNOW, I HAPPENED TO WATCH
THE NEWS LAST NIGHT. OH, YEAH, LOU?
YEAH, AND TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
I WAS REALLY DISAPPOINTED.
DISAPPOINTED? MMM.
WHAT COULD YOU EXPECT, LOU? YOU
WERE THE ONE THAT LEFT, NOT TED.
NO, I'M TALKING ABOUT
THE NEWS ITSELF.
THE WHOLE FORMAT...
IT LACKS... SPARKLE.
UH, SPARKLE? MMM.
LOU, IT'S THE SAME FORMAT WE HAD
LAST WEEK WHEN YOU WERE THERE,
THE SAME ONE WE'VE HAD
FOR THE PAST EIGHT YEARS.
THAT'S JUST THE POINT. IT
STILL HAS MY IMPRINT ON IT.
I WANNA SEE YOUR IMPRINT.
IMPRINT? YEAH. LET ME SHOW
YOU WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING HERE.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT MY IMPRINT IS.
HUH?
HERE'S THE SIX O'CLOCK NEWS.
FROM NOW ON, IT'S GONNA BE ON...
- 00.
- 5:00?
- WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I THINK WE'D BETTER
CHANGE THE NAME.
IT'S CALLED COUNTERPROGRAMMING.
EVERY OTHER STATION HAS
THE NEWS ON AT 6:00 OR 6:30.
WE MOVE CHUCKLES
THE CLOWN TO 6:00.
WE MOVE OUR NEWS TO 5:00.
THAT WAY WE BEAT 'EM TO THE
PUNCH AND GET A WHOLE NEW AUDIENCE.
- HOW DOES THAT SOUND?
- TERRIFIC.
THAT WAY WE CAN ALL
GO HOME AN HOUR EARLIER.
YOU KNOW, MY WIFE IS ALWAYS
COMPLAINING... IT'S SO GREAT AN IDEA.
- HOW COME NOBODY
EVER THOUGHT OF IT BEFORE?
- SOMEBODY DID.
OH? WHO? ME.
BUT THAT'S WHEN I WAS DOWN THERE
AND COULDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
NOW I'M UP HERE,
AND I CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
THAT'S WHAT I MEAN ABOUT
LEAVING YOUR IMPRINT.
WELL, MR. GRANT, MURRAY HAS
LOTS OF IDEAS... GREAT, GREAT IDEAS.
IN FACT, WE WERE TALKING
ABOUT 'EM JUST TODAY. LIKE WHAT?
YOU KNOW. WELL, WHICH ONE?
WELL, ANY ONE. THEY'RE ALL GOOD.
OH, UH, W-W-WELL, LOU,
HERE'S ONE THAT WE SORTA LIKE.
NOW, LOOK, THE NEWS IS, WELL,
REALLY LIKE A NEWSPAPER. YOU KNOW?
YOU GOT THE HARD NEWS,
YOU GOT SPORTS AND FEATURES.
BUT THE ONE THING WE DON'T
HAVE IS A COMICS SECTION.
SO WE WERE
THINKING THAT MAYBE...
UM, THAT... THAT WASN'T THE GOOD
ONE THAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT.
WHAT ONE WAS IT?
YOU KNOW. NO, I
DON'T KNOW, MARY.
MURRAY. THE FILM CLIPS?
- THE REAR PROJECTION?
- OH, NO, I DIDN'T
LIKE THAT ONE.
YOU DID. YOU
LOVED IT. NO, I DIDN'T.
DON'T YOU REMEMBER... MARY,
I SAID I DIDN'T LIKE THAT ONE.
NOW, LOOK, LOU, HERE'S SOMETHING
JUST OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD.
NOW, I HEARD ABOUT THIS
NEW SHOW THEY HAVE IN L.A...
WHERE THE ANCHORMAN WORKS
IN FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE.
NEAR THE END OF THE SHOW, THEY
COULD ASK TED QUESTIONS AND HE COULD A...
FORGET IT, LOU.
IT'S A LOUSY IDEA.
MURRAY, YOU MISUNDERSTOOD ME.
I DIDN'T MEAN YOU HAD TO LEAVE
YOUR IMPRINT RIGHT THIS MINUTE.
EXCUSE ME.
YES?
CHILDREN'S PROGRAMMING MEETING?
CAN'T I SEE HIM LATER?
YEAH, I KNOW.
EVERYTHING'S IMPORTANT.
ALL RIGHT.
I'M SORRY. I FORGOT I'VE
GOT THIS IMPORTANT MEETING.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT. MARY.
MARY, HERE'S THAT, UH,
DIET THING YOU WANTED.
OH, NO, THAT'S OKAY. NO, MARY,
MARY, I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT.
YOU KNOW, TO GO.
THANK YOU, MR. GRANT.
SORRY I FORGOT ABOUT OUR
MEETING, CHUCK. COME ON IN.
GOOD MORNING, MURRAY. HI, MAR.
MURRAY, THE FILM CLIP
ON THAT FIRE CAME IN.
- MARY, BRING ME
THE PROGRAM LOGS.
- UH, RIGHT, MR...
GRANT? MURRAY? MARY, ARE
YOU COMING WITH THOSE LOGS?
YES, MR. GRANT!
WHAT THE...
HERE'S THE LOG,
MR. GRANT. THANK YOU.
DON'T YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT
HAPPENED? YES, I CERTAINLY DO!
- WANT SOME COFFEE?
- NO, THANK YOU.
- A MAI TAI?
- NO, MR. GRANT.
YOU REMEMBER THOSE GREAT
PROGRAMMING IDEAS I SHOWED YOU?
- YES.
- WELL, I SHOWED THEM.
AND THEY DIDN'T WANNA USE 'EM?
THEY DON'T WANT ANY NEW IDEAS.
THEY JUST WANT ME TO SIT BEHIND MY
DESK AND LOOK LIKE A PROGRAM MANAGER.
TAKE THE MONEY AND
SMILE. THAT'S NOT ME, MARY.
NO, SIR, IT CERTAINLY ISN'T.
I DON'T MIND TAKING THE MONEY,
BUT THAT SMILING WAS KILLING ME.
I HAD TO SMILE
THROUGH EVERYTHING.
REMEMBER THAT MEETING WITH
CHUCKLES THE CLOWN THE OTHER DAY? YES.
WE WERE SMILING AT EACH
OTHER ALL THE WAY THROUGH IT.
THEN I REALIZED THAT
HIS SMILE WAS PAINTED ON.
YEAH, AT LEAST I FINALLY GOT
THEM TO DO SOMETHING UP THERE.
WHAT'S THAT? I
GOT 'EM TO FIRE ME.
UH, TERRIFIC. MMM.
- THEN I GOT 'EM TO
GIVE ME MY OLD JOB BACK.
- TERRIFIC.
AND MURRAY, HE'S, UH...
I GOT THEM TO GIVE HIM
HIS OLD JOB BACK TOO.
OH, MR. GRANT, IT'S JUST...
IT'S REALLY GREAT TO
HAVE YOU BACK AGAIN.
YEAH.
MR. GRANT, UM, IF
IT'S WORTH ANYTHING,
I JUST WANT YOU TO
KNOW I THINK YOU'RE THE
BEST PROGRAM MANAGER
THIS STATION EVER HAD.
THEY'LL NEVER SEE MY LIKE AGAIN.
MR. GRANT, I MADE YOU A
NICE, FRESH CUP OF COFFEE.
AND CAN I GET YOUR
SIGNATURES THERE? THANKS, MARY.
YOU KNOW, I LIKE WHAT THAT
JOB UP THERE COULD HAVE BEEN.
BUT I MISSED BEING DOWN HERE. I MISSED
YOUR COFFEE, THE PRESSURE, THE DEADLINES.
I ESPECIALLY MISSED
MY LOWER DRAWER.
THERE'S ONE THING I
DIDN'T MISS... MURR?
HERE'S THAT BUCK I OWE YOU.
YOU'RE NOT MURR. YOU'RE LOU.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN MURR'S OFFICE, LOU?
THIS ISN'T MURR'S
OFFICE. THIS IS MY OFFICE.
MURR IS OUT THERE, WORKING.
YES, HE IS.
- AND YOU'RE HERE
IN YOUR OFFICE, AREN'T YOU?
- THAT'S RIGHT.
MUST HAVE DOZED OFF THERE.
OH, UH, THIS MUST BE YOURS.
WORLD ON WITH HER SMILE ♪
♪ WHO CAN TAKE A NOTHING DAY ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY MAKE IT
ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE ♪
♪ WELL, IT'S YOU, GIRL
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT ♪
♪ WITH EACH GLANCE AND EVERY
LITTLE MOVEMENT YOU SHOW IT ♪
♪ LOVE IS ALL AROUND
NO NEED TO WASTE IT ♪
♪ YOU CAN HAVE THE TOWN
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪♪
MARY, IS LOU IN HIS
OFFICE? UH, NO, HE ISN'T.
GOOD. I'LL GO RIGHT IN THEN.
- TED, YOU KNOW HE DOESN'T
LIKE ANYBODY IN THERE.
- I HAVE TO MAKE A PERSONAL CALL.
- WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH THE
PHONE IN YOUR DRESSING ROOM?
- I THINK IT'S TAPPED.
WHO WOULD TAP TED'S PHONE?
MAYBE THE F.B.I.
NEEDS A FEW LAUGHS.
MARY, YOU DIDN'T LET SOMEBODY
INTO MY OFFICE, DID YOU?
MR. GRANT, I AM THE
ASSOCIATE PRODUCER.
I'M JUST A LITTLE TOO BUSY
TO KEEP PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR...
THANKS A LOT, MARY. AT LEAST
YOU COULD'VE WARNED ME.
OH, NOW...
IF MR. GRANT STARTS
SHOUTING AT ME BECAUSE
I LET TED IN HIS OFFICE,
I AM GONNA SCREAM.
DON'T LET HIM.
RIGHT.
SEE THE SIGN ON THAT DOOR? IT'S
SAYS "LOU GRANT," NOT "REC ROOM."
MR. GRANT, I AM THE
ASSOCIATE PRODUCER HERE.
I MEAN, I DON'T MIND TYPING
YOUR PERSONAL LETTERS...
AND GETTING YOU COFFEE
OR STRAIGHTENING YOUR DESK.
BUT IF YOU WANT SOMEBODY TO
KEEP TED OUT OF YOUR OFFICE,
THEN I THINK YOU
OUGHTA HIRE A POLICE DOG.
NO OFFENSE.
NO. YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M SORRY.
WELL...
BUT YOU WON'T HAVE LOU GRANT
TO KICK AROUND MUCH LONGER.
MR. GRANT, WHAT'S THE
MATTER? YOU HAVEN'T BEEN, UH...
FIRED? WORSE.
I'VE BEEN... PROMOTED.
PROMOTED? WELL,
THAT'S WONDERFUL.
TO WHAT? PROGRAM MANAGER.
MURPHY JUST QUIT.
IT'S A BIG MOVE UP FOR
ME, AND A LOT MORE MONEY.
OH, MR. GRANT, I'M
JUST... I'M SO... SO VERY...
SO VERY HAPPY FOR YOU.
UH, M-MR. GRANT?
WHY AREN'T YOU HAPPY FOR YOU?
I'D BE HAPPY FOR ME WITH
THAT MONEY AND THIS JOB.
- OH, I'M SURE YOU'LL BE
VERY GOOD IN THAT JOB.
- MAYBE.
- BUT UP THERE I'M REALLY GONNA
HAVE TO WORK AT BEING GOOD.
- YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
DOWN HERE YOU WERE
GOOD WITHOUT EVEN WORKING.
UM... AT IT.
BUT IT ISN'T GONNA
BE EASY, MARY.
FOR EXAMPLE, MY FIRST JOB...
IS NAMING MY REPLACEMENT HERE.
OH, YES, THAT'S
RIGHT. THE NEW YOU.
- WILL IT BE ANYBODY I KNOW?
- WELL, SURE.
YOU'LL BE GLAD TO KNOW THAT MY
NEW POLICY AS PROGRAM MANAGER...
IS TO PROMOTE FROM WITHIN.
OH... OH, W... UH...
WELL, MR. GRANT, I JUST
WANT TO SAY THAT, UH,
I DON'T WANT THE JOB.
I DIDN'T OFFER IT TO YOU, MARY.
OH.
I'M CONSIDERING... EVERYBODY.
GOOD! GOOD, GOOD.
BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY REALLY CAPABLE
PEOPLE, UH, FROM, YOU KNOW, WITHIN...
WHO ARE, UH, CAPABLE
OF, UH, HANDLING THE JOB.
LIKE WHO?
OH! WELL, UH...
UM... MR. GRANT, I
DON'T WANT THE JOB.
NOT THAT I WOULD, YOU KNOW, W-WANT
YOU TO THINK THAT I... I THOUGHT THAT YOU,
YOU KNOW, WERE IN
ANY, UH, WAY CONSID...
MARY, HOW CAN YOU TAKE YOURSELF
OUT OF THE RUNNING FOR A JOB LIKE THAT?
BECAUSE I DON'T
THINK I WANT THAT JOB.
BUT, MARY, IT'S YOUR
DUTY AS A WOMAN...
TO TAKE WHATEVER YOU CAN
GET, WHETHER YOU WANT IT OR NOT.
I'VE MET A LOT OF GUYS
WHO FELT THAT WAY.
THE THING IS, PHYL,
I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN
OFFERED THE JOB.
BUT, MARY, SURELY YOU WILL BE. YOU
ARE, AFTER ALL, SECOND-IN-COMMAND.
UH-UH. NO, NO. NO.
WHEN MR. GRANT IS IN CHARGE,
NOBODY IS SECOND-IN-COMMAND.
OF COURSE, I DO SEEM LIKE
THE LOGICAL PERSON, DON'T I?
OF COURSE YOU ARE.
BUT, MARY, THIS ISN'T JUST YOU
REACHING FOR THE NEXT PLATEAU.
IT'S... IT'S US.
BUT WHAT IF "US" DOES A ROTTEN
JOB AND GETS HERSELF FIRED?
EXACTLY! WA...
RHODA! I DON'T THINK I'D DO A
ROTTEN JOB AND GET MYSELF FIRED.
I JUST DON'T KNOW IF BEING THE
HEAD OF A NEWSROOM IS A WOMAN'S JOB.
THERE YOU GO.
WOMAN'S JOB, MAN'S JOB.
THERE'S NO SUCH THING.
NAME ONE JOB A MAN CAN
HANDLE THAT A WOMAN CAN'T.
A FEMALE IMPERSONATOR.
HOPELESS.
RHODA, YOU THINK I
SHOULD GO AFTER THE JOB?
MARY, I THINK YOU OUGHTA GO
AFTER A HANDSOME, SUCCESSFUL GUY,
GET MARRIED, PREGNANT,
AND THEN BLAME HIM WHEN
YOU DON'T HAVE A CAREER.
HEY, WHAT IS THAT BOX THERE?
"FAST WHEELS DRAG STRIP SET"?
OH. YEAH, IT'S FOR BESS.
PHYLLIS SUGGESTED I GET IT
FOR HER FOR HER BIRTHDAY.
FAST WHEELS DRAG
STRIP FOR A GIRL?
GIRL, BOY... WHAT
DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?
GIRLS ARE ALWAYS SUPPOSED
TO GET LITTLE GIRL TOYS...
DOLLS, UH, PLAY
STOVES, LITTLE DISHES.
IT'S ALL PART OF THE PLOT...
TO LAUNCH THEM NICELY INTO
THEIR LITTLE ROLES AS HOUSEWIVES.
THAT'S WHERE I WENT WRONG.
YEAH, MAR, WHEN I WAS A KID WE
USED TO PLAY MOMMY AND DADDY.
I ALWAYS PLAYED MOMMY'S
UNMARRIED SISTER.
OH!
WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS
THAT BESS WILL LOVE THIS TOY.
I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT.
BOY. LOOKS PRETTY COMPLICATED.
I'LL SAY.
COME ON, PHYLLIS. COME OUT
HERE AND PUT THIS THING TOGETHER.
OH, DON'T LOOK AT ME.
I WAS ONE OF THOSE CUTE LITTLE GIRLS
WHO ALWAYS GOT DOLLS TO PLAY WITH.
THAT'S RIGHT. I ADMIT IT.
THAT'S ME... VICTIM OF THE
SYSTEM. MISS HELPLESS.
BUT, MARY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE.
THIS IS YOUR CHANCE.
GO AFTER THAT JOB, MARY.
TAKE THE PIECES OF YOUR
LIFE AND PUT THEM TOGETHER.
PHYLLIS, UM, TELL ME,
WHEN SHE GETS HER LIFE
TOGETHER, WILL SHE NEED BATTERIES?
LISTEN, YOU TWO
DON'T UNDERSTAND.
THIS JOB IS GONNA
MEAN COMING IN EARLY,
STAYING LATE, WORKING
STRAIGHT THROUGH LUNCH,
TAKING CARE OF A MILLION DETAILS,
KEEPING THE SPONSORS HAPPY,
WORKING LATE... IT'S...
EXACTLY WHAT I DO NOW.
COME IN.
WHAT IS IT, MARY?
WELL, MR. GRANT, IT'S ABOUT
WHAT I SAID YESTERDAY.
UM, YOU KNOW, A-ABOUT THE JOB.
- MY JOB?
- THAT'S THE ONE.
WELL, YOU'LL BE GLAD TO
KNOW THAT YOU DIDN'T GET IT.
UH... OH.
- YOU'RE NOT GLAD.
- WELL...
IT'S JUST, YOU SEE,
THAT I KINDA DECIDED...
THAT, UH, I WANTED
IT AFTER ALL, AND...
OH.
UM, MR. GRANT, DID THE FACT
THAT I SAID I DIDN'T WANT IT...
INFLUENCE YOUR DECISION?
NO.
SO, UH, WHO DID YOU
FINALLY PICK? MURRAY.
MURRAY? MM-HMM.
UH, MURRAY, HUH? THAT'S RIGHT.
OH! GREAT. GREAT CHOICE.
- YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.
- GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.
MR. GRANT, UM,
WHY WASN'T I A...
A GREAT CHOICE?
DOES IT HAVE ANYTHING
TO DO WITH MY ABILITY?
NO! ARE YOU KIDDING?
OH...
IT'S, UH...
IT'S NOT BECAUSE
I'M A WOMAN, IS IT?
OF COURSE IT IS.
HEY, LOU, COULDN'T I JUST
RUN THE OFFICE FROM HERE?
MURRAY, YOU RUN AN
OFFICE FROM AN OFFICE.
BESIDES, AN EXPENSE
ACCOUNT GOES WITH THE JOB.
OH. WELL, IN THAT CASE...
ANYWAY, GOOD LUCK.
YEAH, YOU TOO, MURRAY.
WITH ME AS YOUR PROGRAM
MANAGER, YOU'RE GONNA NEED IT.
THERE THEY ARE...
OUR NEW EXECUTIVES.
I JUST REMEMBERED
I FORGOT MY ASPIRIN.
HIYA, BOSS.
SAY, MURR, UH,
I SUPPOSE THERE MUST HAVE
BEEN A COUPLE OF TIMES...
WHEN YOU WERE MY WRITER
THAT I GAVE YOU A HARD TIME.
A HUNDRED AND 14
TIMES, TED. I KEPT TRACK.
NO KIDDING? WHY WOULD
YOU WANT TO KEEP TRACK?
I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST THOUGHT THAT MAYBE SOMEDAY
I MIGHT GET TO BE NEWS DIRECTOR.
HERE, LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT. SAY,
MAYBE I CAN TAKE YOU TO LUNCH TODAY, MURR.
SAY, MURR!
IT STILL SAYS "LOU GRANT" HERE. YOU'RE
GONNA HAVE TO GET YOURSELF A NEW DOOR.
YOU KNOW, SOMEHOW,
WHEN YOU'RE LEAVING,
THOSE THINGS TED SAYS
CAN BE REALLY CUTE.
MARY?
MARY, SAY, UH... UH, Y-YOU'RE
NOT MAD OR ANYTHING, ARE YA?
- NO. OF COURSE NOT.
- OH. YOU SURE?
WELL, MARY...
MR. GRANT?
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT, UM... ALL OF US, UH...
I'M, UH, GONNA MISS YOU.
AND I'M GONNA MISS YOU TOO.
THANK YOU, MR. GRANT. LET
ME HELP YOU. LET ME TAKE THAT.
WELL, MR. GRANT, IT'S ALL
YOURS. UH-HUH. UH-HUH.
OH, WOW.
MR. GRANT. MMM!
YOU LOOKING FOR
SOMETHING, MR. GRANT?
YEAH. MY DESK.
IT'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
A DESK HAS DRAWERS.
I NEED BIG DRAWERS.
THIS IS A TABLE.
WELL, MR. GRANT,
THAT'S ALL WE'VE GOT.
UH, IT'S THE UNCLUTTERED LOOK.
MAYBE, BUT WHEN I DUMP EVERYTHING HERE
ON TOP OF THERE, IT'S GONNA LOOK CLUTTERED.
WELL, I CAN ORDER ANOTHER DESK
FOR YOU, MR. GRANT, WITH DRAWERS.
NO, THAT'S OKAY.
ANYWAY, YOU'VE GOT LOTS OF CABINET
SPACE. I'LL JUST PUT EVERYTHING AWAY.
UH, ALMOST EVERYTHING. I
LIKE TO KEEP THIS CLOSE BY.
RIGHT HERE IN MY BOTTOM
DRAWER OF WHICH THERE ISN'T ANY.
MR. GRANT, YOU'VE GOT
A WET BAR RIGHT HERE.
THAT FAR, HUH?
I'M GONNA NEED A WASTEBASKET.
I'LL GET YOU ONE RIGHT AWAY.
MR. GRANT, ARE YOU
GONNA BE ALL RIGHT?
YEAH, FINE.
WELL, I'D BETTER BE
GETTING BACK TO THE OFFICE.
- DON'T WANT MURRAY
TO GET MAD AT ME.
- UH-HUH.
LISTEN, IF YOU NEED ANYTHING,
UH, YOU KNOW MY EXTENSION.
- RIGHT?
- RIGHT.
UH, I'LL BE CALLING YOU, MARY.
WELL, MR. GRANT,
HERE'S YOUR VERY
OWN WASTEBASKET.
THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME.
FIVE, SIX, SEVEN,
EIGHT, NINE, 10, 11, 12...
I'M SO GLAD I HEARD YOU
GIRLS THUMPING UP HERE.
THE MINUTE I HEARD YOU
THUMPING, I CAME RIGHT UP.
IT'S SO MUCH FUN DOING EXERCISES
TOGETHER. DON'T YOU THINK?
30, 31, 32, 33,
34, 35, 36, 37...
DOING THEM ALONE IS SO BORING.
THIS WAY IT GIVES ME
SOMEBODY TO TALK TO.
SHE NEVER GETS WINDED.
IT'S LIKE DOING CALISTHENICS
WITH HUBERT HUMPHREY.
49, 50!
AND THAT'S IT! OH, GOOD.
THAT'S IT? OH.
IN MY CREATIVE MOVEMENT CLASS,
WE USED TO FINISH WITH THINGS LIKE...
AU REVOIR TO SPRING.
WOULD YOU LIKE
TO SEE THAT, MARY?
UH, GOSH, I DON'T THINK SO,
PHYL. I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THAT.
YOU WOULD? VERY MUCH.
RHODA!
I CAN'T DO THAT ONE,
AU REVOIR TO SPRING.
NO, FOR THAT I NEED
TWO MEN AND A ROPE.
THAT'S TRUE OF
PRACTICALLY ANYTHING.
I KNOW! I KNOW!
THE BIRTH OF A FLOWER.
THE BIRTH OF A FLOWER. I HEARD.
I DIDN'T KNOW FLOWERS
HAD LABOR PAINS.
HEY, KIDS, I GOTTA
CALL IT A NIGHT.
WITH ALL THE CHANGES IN THE OFFICE,
I GOTTA BE IN AT THE CRACK OF DAWN.
MARY! WE GOT THE JOB!
NO, PHYLLIS, WE
DIDN'T GET THE JOB.
WE DIDN'T? NO.
MARY... PHYLLIS.
I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT
YOU'RE GOING TO SAY.
SO DO I. GOOD-BYE, MARY.
HEY, RHODA! WHAT?
WHERE ARE YOU, UH, GOING?
OH, I THOUGHT I'D, UH, YOU KNOW,
HANG AROUND THE BALLERINA UNION HALL,
SEE IF I CAN PICK UP A GIG.
OH, HOW COULD
THEY DO THIS TO US?
PHYLLIS, I'M THE ONE
WHO DIDN'T GET THE JOB.
BUT, MARY, DON'T YOU SEE
THAT THIS AFFRONT TO YOU...
IS AN AFFRONT TO ALL WOMANKIND?
I KNOW, PHYLLIS.
SO, WHO'D THEY GIVE IT TO?
MURRAY. HA! I MIGHT HAVE KNOWN.
A MAN. PHYLLIS, I AM THE
ONLY WOMAN IN THE NEWSROOM.
THE CHANCES WERE, IF IT
WASN'T ME IT WAS GONNA BE A MAN.
I SUPPOSE YOU'RE JUST GOING
TO TAKE THIS HUMILIATION.
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I AM DELIGHTED
THAT MURRAY HAS THE JOB INSTEAD OF ME.
- OH, MARY...
- I MEAN IT! REALLY!
MR. GRANT MADE THE
WHOLE THING LOOK SO EASY.
POOR MURRAY, ALREADY HE'S OVERWORKED AND
PRESSURED. THE MAN'S ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE.
YES! AND IT'S ALWAYS A MAN
WHO GETS THOSE OPPORTUNITIES.
PHYLLIS, I DON'T WANT THE JOB.
MARY, WE HAVE TO DECIDE ON
A COURSE OF ACTION FOR YOU.
I'VE GOT TO GET THROUGH
TO YOU IF IT TAKES ALL NIGHT.
LUCKILY, I'M FREE.
HELLO?
OH, HI.
IT WAS... IT WAS
REALLY WONDERFUL.
NO, REALLY. IT WAS A
WONDERFUL EVENING.
WELL, I, UH...
LISTEN, IT'S, UH, KINDA
HARD TO TALK RIGHT NOW.
OH! OH! YOU GO RIGHT AHEAD.
WE CAN DISCUSS THIS LATER.
THANKS, RHODA.
LUNCH TUESDAY?
NO, I CAN'T MAKE IT.
NOT WEDNESDAY EITHER.
COME IN.
FIRST ONE I'VE
GOT OPEN IS A, UH,
WEEK FROM FRIDAY.
I'LL PUT YOU DOWN FOR
THAT. OKAY? WE'LL CONFIRM.
LUNCH. THAT'S ALL I DO IN
THIS JOB IS GO TO LUNCH.
YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO WHEN I GO
ON ALL THESE LUNCHES? I HAVE TO EAT LUNCH.
WHAT ABOUT A DRINK,
MURRAY? I COULD USE ONE.
- WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING, MARY?
- OH, I'LL HAVE A MAI TAI.
UNLESS YOU'RE OUT OF GARDENIAS.
GOOD TO SEE YOU GUYS.
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO. I'LL JUST
HAVE A DIET COLA, IF YOU'VE GOT ONE.
I GOT EVERYTHING.
SCOTCH, MURRAY? GREAT.
- YES, MR. GRANT?
- MRS. THORN.
SOMEBODY PUT WASTEPAPER
IN MY WASTEPAPER BASKET.
OH, I THINK I KNOW
WHAT YOU MEAN.
- I FOUND THAT
AND I PUT IT IN THE BAR.
- OH.
GOOD. GOOD.
MRS. THORN, TOMORROW MAYBE WE
COULD MOVE MY DESK OVER THAT WAY.
YES, MR. GRANT. GOOD.
YOU KNOW, I HAPPENED TO WATCH
THE NEWS LAST NIGHT. OH, YEAH, LOU?
YEAH, AND TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
I WAS REALLY DISAPPOINTED.
DISAPPOINTED? MMM.
WHAT COULD YOU EXPECT, LOU? YOU
WERE THE ONE THAT LEFT, NOT TED.
NO, I'M TALKING ABOUT
THE NEWS ITSELF.
THE WHOLE FORMAT...
IT LACKS... SPARKLE.
UH, SPARKLE? MMM.
LOU, IT'S THE SAME FORMAT WE HAD
LAST WEEK WHEN YOU WERE THERE,
THE SAME ONE WE'VE HAD
FOR THE PAST EIGHT YEARS.
THAT'S JUST THE POINT. IT
STILL HAS MY IMPRINT ON IT.
I WANNA SEE YOUR IMPRINT.
IMPRINT? YEAH. LET ME SHOW
YOU WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING HERE.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT MY IMPRINT IS.
HUH?
HERE'S THE SIX O'CLOCK NEWS.
FROM NOW ON, IT'S GONNA BE ON...
- 00.
- 5:00?
- WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I THINK WE'D BETTER
CHANGE THE NAME.
IT'S CALLED COUNTERPROGRAMMING.
EVERY OTHER STATION HAS
THE NEWS ON AT 6:00 OR 6:30.
WE MOVE CHUCKLES
THE CLOWN TO 6:00.
WE MOVE OUR NEWS TO 5:00.
THAT WAY WE BEAT 'EM TO THE
PUNCH AND GET A WHOLE NEW AUDIENCE.
- HOW DOES THAT SOUND?
- TERRIFIC.
THAT WAY WE CAN ALL
GO HOME AN HOUR EARLIER.
YOU KNOW, MY WIFE IS ALWAYS
COMPLAINING... IT'S SO GREAT AN IDEA.
- HOW COME NOBODY
EVER THOUGHT OF IT BEFORE?
- SOMEBODY DID.
OH? WHO? ME.
BUT THAT'S WHEN I WAS DOWN THERE
AND COULDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
NOW I'M UP HERE,
AND I CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
THAT'S WHAT I MEAN ABOUT
LEAVING YOUR IMPRINT.
WELL, MR. GRANT, MURRAY HAS
LOTS OF IDEAS... GREAT, GREAT IDEAS.
IN FACT, WE WERE TALKING
ABOUT 'EM JUST TODAY. LIKE WHAT?
YOU KNOW. WELL, WHICH ONE?
WELL, ANY ONE. THEY'RE ALL GOOD.
OH, UH, W-W-WELL, LOU,
HERE'S ONE THAT WE SORTA LIKE.
NOW, LOOK, THE NEWS IS, WELL,
REALLY LIKE A NEWSPAPER. YOU KNOW?
YOU GOT THE HARD NEWS,
YOU GOT SPORTS AND FEATURES.
BUT THE ONE THING WE DON'T
HAVE IS A COMICS SECTION.
SO WE WERE
THINKING THAT MAYBE...
UM, THAT... THAT WASN'T THE GOOD
ONE THAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT.
WHAT ONE WAS IT?
YOU KNOW. NO, I
DON'T KNOW, MARY.
MURRAY. THE FILM CLIPS?
- THE REAR PROJECTION?
- OH, NO, I DIDN'T
LIKE THAT ONE.
YOU DID. YOU
LOVED IT. NO, I DIDN'T.
DON'T YOU REMEMBER... MARY,
I SAID I DIDN'T LIKE THAT ONE.
NOW, LOOK, LOU, HERE'S SOMETHING
JUST OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD.
NOW, I HEARD ABOUT THIS
NEW SHOW THEY HAVE IN L.A...
WHERE THE ANCHORMAN WORKS
IN FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE.
NEAR THE END OF THE SHOW, THEY
COULD ASK TED QUESTIONS AND HE COULD A...
FORGET IT, LOU.
IT'S A LOUSY IDEA.
MURRAY, YOU MISUNDERSTOOD ME.
I DIDN'T MEAN YOU HAD TO LEAVE
YOUR IMPRINT RIGHT THIS MINUTE.
EXCUSE ME.
YES?
CHILDREN'S PROGRAMMING MEETING?
CAN'T I SEE HIM LATER?
YEAH, I KNOW.
EVERYTHING'S IMPORTANT.
ALL RIGHT.
I'M SORRY. I FORGOT I'VE
GOT THIS IMPORTANT MEETING.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT. MARY.
MARY, HERE'S THAT, UH,
DIET THING YOU WANTED.
OH, NO, THAT'S OKAY. NO, MARY,
MARY, I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT.
YOU KNOW, TO GO.
THANK YOU, MR. GRANT.
SORRY I FORGOT ABOUT OUR
MEETING, CHUCK. COME ON IN.
GOOD MORNING, MURRAY. HI, MAR.
MURRAY, THE FILM CLIP
ON THAT FIRE CAME IN.
- MARY, BRING ME
THE PROGRAM LOGS.
- UH, RIGHT, MR...
GRANT? MURRAY? MARY, ARE
YOU COMING WITH THOSE LOGS?
YES, MR. GRANT!
WHAT THE...
HERE'S THE LOG,
MR. GRANT. THANK YOU.
DON'T YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT
HAPPENED? YES, I CERTAINLY DO!
- WANT SOME COFFEE?
- NO, THANK YOU.
- A MAI TAI?
- NO, MR. GRANT.
YOU REMEMBER THOSE GREAT
PROGRAMMING IDEAS I SHOWED YOU?
- YES.
- WELL, I SHOWED THEM.
AND THEY DIDN'T WANNA USE 'EM?
THEY DON'T WANT ANY NEW IDEAS.
THEY JUST WANT ME TO SIT BEHIND MY
DESK AND LOOK LIKE A PROGRAM MANAGER.
TAKE THE MONEY AND
SMILE. THAT'S NOT ME, MARY.
NO, SIR, IT CERTAINLY ISN'T.
I DON'T MIND TAKING THE MONEY,
BUT THAT SMILING WAS KILLING ME.
I HAD TO SMILE
THROUGH EVERYTHING.
REMEMBER THAT MEETING WITH
CHUCKLES THE CLOWN THE OTHER DAY? YES.
WE WERE SMILING AT EACH
OTHER ALL THE WAY THROUGH IT.
THEN I REALIZED THAT
HIS SMILE WAS PAINTED ON.
YEAH, AT LEAST I FINALLY GOT
THEM TO DO SOMETHING UP THERE.
WHAT'S THAT? I
GOT 'EM TO FIRE ME.
UH, TERRIFIC. MMM.
- THEN I GOT 'EM TO
GIVE ME MY OLD JOB BACK.
- TERRIFIC.
AND MURRAY, HE'S, UH...
I GOT THEM TO GIVE HIM
HIS OLD JOB BACK TOO.
OH, MR. GRANT, IT'S JUST...
IT'S REALLY GREAT TO
HAVE YOU BACK AGAIN.
YEAH.
MR. GRANT, UM, IF
IT'S WORTH ANYTHING,
I JUST WANT YOU TO
KNOW I THINK YOU'RE THE
BEST PROGRAM MANAGER
THIS STATION EVER HAD.
THEY'LL NEVER SEE MY LIKE AGAIN.
MR. GRANT, I MADE YOU A
NICE, FRESH CUP OF COFFEE.
AND CAN I GET YOUR
SIGNATURES THERE? THANKS, MARY.
YOU KNOW, I LIKE WHAT THAT
JOB UP THERE COULD HAVE BEEN.
BUT I MISSED BEING DOWN HERE. I MISSED
YOUR COFFEE, THE PRESSURE, THE DEADLINES.
I ESPECIALLY MISSED
MY LOWER DRAWER.
THERE'S ONE THING I
DIDN'T MISS... MURR?
HERE'S THAT BUCK I OWE YOU.
YOU'RE NOT MURR. YOU'RE LOU.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN MURR'S OFFICE, LOU?
THIS ISN'T MURR'S
OFFICE. THIS IS MY OFFICE.
MURR IS OUT THERE, WORKING.
YES, HE IS.
- AND YOU'RE HERE
IN YOUR OFFICE, AREN'T YOU?
- THAT'S RIGHT.
MUST HAVE DOZED OFF THERE.
OH, UH, THIS MUST BE YOURS.