Married with Children (1986–1997): Season 11, Episode 10 - The Stepford Peg - full transcript
Al is planning a get-together for the guys - they'll be watching wrestling from cable. Al wants Peg to help but she declines. Then Peg has an accident where she hits her head and gets amnesia. Kelly, Bud and Al are then amazed to see Peg cooking, cleaning and doing other housework. They decide to milk the situation for all it's worth.
Peg, now, you know I'm not
one to beat around the bush.
Unless, of course, you're in it.
So I'll make this fast.
Like you know any other way.
I'm planning a
get-together for the guys,
and you're going to help me.
Oh, God, Al. Didn't I
just get all dressed up
so I could go to some tired
party and impress your friends?
That was the senior prom, Peg.
And you were only in
your dress for 20 minutes.
Now, there's a big wrestling
show on cable Saturday night.
Is it pay-per-view? No.
It is now.
Oh, come on, Peg.
You want me to look
stupid in front of my friends?
The same friends
who used Silly Putty
to give Nancy and
Sluggo hooters?
Well, at least those
hooters are fun to play with.
Look, Al, it's not like I
don't want to help you,
but I'm very busy.
You think I just sit
here all day long?
No, no, Peg.
No. From the
potholes in the couch,
I'd say you sit here,
and you sit here.
I don't sit there, that's
where I put my food.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[♪♪♪]
Mmm.
Caramel corn on the cob.
Hm. Needs more butter.
MAN [ON TV]: Today on Oprah,
a clean house is a safe house.
Ha-ha. Yeah, right.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
I'm home!
Oh, Peg, don't... Don't get up.
What's that? A
beer? Sounds good.
No, let me get it.
Way to home-make, Peg. Ooh.
Mmm. What am I
complaining about?
There's food in the house
and her mouth is shut.
[LOUDLY CLEARS THROAT]
And for future reference, the
next time a producer asks you
what your method is,
please don't say the sponge.
Well, at least my
form of birth control
isn't Miss Piggy sheets.
I do not use Miss Piggy
sheets. Yes, you do.
Kids, kids! Keep it
down! Keep it down!
Your mother needs her rest.
The house is a mess,
and the family's starving.
Her work here is done.
Dad, Mom doesn't look so good.
You should see her
without her mask.
Look at this TV Guide.
The last chocolate
stain was at 3:00 today.
She's obviously been
unconscious for hours.
Hey, and look. There's a
dent on the coffee table like...
Like it's been hit by
a big, hard hairdo.
Listen, Nancy Drool
and Hardly Boy,
it's impossible for your
mother to have fallen.
Because that would
mean that at some point,
she would have to
have been standing.
Mom stands. I saw
her the other day.
That was just to shake the
crumbs out of her cleavage.
Hey, look, a bonbon stain.
Mom must have slipped on one.
[GASPS]
I got it! [LAUGHS]
Nice try, punk.
Hey. Hey, Mom needs
one of those guys.
The ones that make
you take your clothes off
when you go to their office.
Principal?
Your mother doesn't
need a doctor.
She's breathing. She's fine.
Now relax and let
Daddy enjoy his weekend.
[SIGHS]
Ugh. Oh, my God.
Damn.
Am I in hell?
No, Peg, if you were in
hell, you'd be on a throne
and the devil would be packing.
Who are you people? I
don't recognize you at all.
Well, in that case,
thanks for stopping by.
See you soon.
Hey, I don't even know who
I am. I don't know anything.
Only thing you have
to know is Route 55
is the quickest way out of town.
Oh, my God. Mom has Indonesia.
Now, now, Kelly, don't
bother the nice lady.
She's just on her way out.
Where am I going?
You're going to see your family.
They must miss you. You
seem like a very nice person.
Have a nice life.
Oh, no. Now Dad's got it.
No, no. We're your family.
See, I'm your daughter, Kelly,
and this is your son,
Quasimodo.
Speaking of humps,
why don't we tell
Mommy your nickname?
The Little Fur Maid.
You know, I don't
remember any of you.
But if you say you're my
family, I guess it's true.
Why would we lie about something
the courts have
ruled on repeatedly?
Feeling better, Mom?
Well, Quasi, my head
kind of hurts, and...
And I'm starving.
Aren't you guys hungry?
You know we're
hungry. I'm starving.
Well, why don't I make
some dinner then?
Mom's cooking?
I'm going to call the doctor.
Touch that phone, I'll kill you.
Kids, now that we've
retrained Mommy,
I've come up with a schedule
to maximize her productivity.
There are three of us.
Mommy can only
work 24 hours a day.
Why?
There are two of us.
So let's divide this up evenly.
I get Mommy for 23 hours.
You get her for one.
Well, that's not fair.
I... I love Mommy more.
No, I love Mommy more.
But I'm the only one
who had to love Mommy.
There's not even time
for Mom to go to bed.
Now you see the
brilliance of my schedule.
Hey, you guys gotta see
how clean Mom got
the bathroom upstairs.
Did you know that there's
a window above the sink?
Kel, there's... There's no
window in the bathroom.
Yes, there is.
It looks into the
house next door.
You know, there's
this girl there
who looks exactly like me.
Every time I look over there,
she's always staring at me.
Maybe she's a lesbian.
Maybe she's an idiot.
She does kind of have this
really stupid look on her face.
[LAUGHS]
Come on. I'll show you. I
hope she's home. Come on.
Hi, Al.
I got all the stuff for
your wrestling party.
Oh, except those special
french fries that you love.
I thought I'd just crinkle-cut
them myself. Is that okay?
Well, I'll let it slide, Peg,
since you're still recovering.
You know, I am a little tired.
Are you sure that
I don't sleep at all?
Ever?
It's odd, isn't it?
Hm.
[SQUEAKING] Ooh.
Well,
there's just so much to relearn.
Let's see, I think
I've got it though.
I love housekeeping.
I hate shopping,
except for groceries,
and I can't stand that
stupid Oprah Winfrey Show.
Very good, honey.
Now, there's just
one more thing.
You hate sex.
Don't want it.
Have no use for it.
I know it's tragic,
but I've learned to live
with it many years ago.
And that's why you have
to go to the Jiggly Room.
That's it.
To spare you.
Al, you are such a good husband.
You have been
so patient with me.
And I got you a
copy of Big 'Uns.
I cut out all the articles, so
they won't slow you down.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, baby, you're the greatest.
[CHUCKLES]
How does she get
them so crinkolicious?
I could really learn
to love that woman.
Hey, Daddy.
You, uh... You might
not remember this,
but before your accident,
you had promised me a new car.
Pumpkin, you might
not remember this,
but Mommy is the
vegetable in the family.
Oh. Oh, right.
Duh. Heh-heh!
Well, the other one.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Pumpkin, can you
see who's at that door?
No.
Ooh. Maybe I need glasses.
Okay, Al.
I'm here.
Hey, hey, hey, do I smell...
food?
Jefferson, my man, I got
more food stuck in my teeth
than my colon's
seen in many a year.
Thanks for sharing that, Al.
Oh, I'm not sharing it.
[CHUCKLES]
You... You seem happy, Al.
It's a miracle, buddy. Behold.
Oh, Peg!
Excuse me, while I just
rinse out these gloves.
You know, considering what
a good housekeeper I am,
that shower drain
was just filthy. Oh.
There's a drain?
What's going on? Oh, um,
uh, head injury, amnesia,
reprogramming, crinkle fries.
Don't tell Marcy.
Oh, Peg, this is our
next-door neighbor, Jefferson.
Oh, the free-loading gigolo.
Would you like to try some
bologna I made from scratch?
It's part of the
cavalcade of cold cuts
I'll be serving at
Al's wrestling party.
Hey, is that radish carved
in the shape of Hulk Hogan?
[CHUCKLES]
Well, nothing's too good
for my Al. [CHUCKLES]
Speaking of that, I'm about to
do another load of underwear.
Did you give me
all your yellows?
Sure did, honey. Oh.
Hey, where do I have to hit
Marcy to make her like that?
Just hit her a new
place every day.
[LAUGHS]
Jefferson,
you worthless cabana boy.
I told you six times
to wash the Mercedes,
and it's still filthy.
[SNIFFS]
Is that pine freshness?
Hey, my shoes aren't sticking.
What's going on?
Is someone else here?
Uh, no, not really, Peg.
I was just, uh... Just
tipping the paperboy.
Thank you, sonny.
Now, don't be rude, Al.
Perhaps the paperboy would like
some homemade peach cobbler.
Okay.
I know I'm not in
a parallel universe
because Jefferson
would be working
and Al's fly would be zipped.
So, what the hell is going on?
Oh, well, it's very simple.
I bumped my head, and
now my loving husband Al
is helping me to regain
my former personality.
Really? Here we go.
Al, you monster.
Look, Peggy, I
can't let this happen.
There's something
you have to know.
Yes, there is. I forgot to tell
you that among other things,
you love to wash and detail
cars, especially Mercedes.
Right, uh, Marcy?
[LAUGHS] Right.
Oh, Peggy, you
don't have to do that.
Whoops, chamois lint.
Sorry.
And sorry I didn't finish
re-glazing your bathtub.
I'll do it when you're sleeping.
Do you sleep? Because
Al says good women don't.
Oh, I can't stand this
another minute. Look, Peggy,
Al has brainwashed you.
You are not cheerful,
tidy and hard-working.
You are rude, mean and sloppy.
You're a horrible wife, a
worse mother, and proud of it.
I beg your pardon?
Peggy. And I say this with love.
You're the laziest
bitch in Chicago.
And you are a bitter
woman, Marcy D'Arcy.
You see my loving,
picture-perfect family,
and suddenly, your pretty
boy husband and foreign car
don't seem so spiffy, do they?
Well, your jealous lies aren't
going to get to Mrs. Al Bundy.
Good day.
No.
Peggy, wait.
And for future reference,
my Al prefers his
paper on the porch,
not in the bushes.
Remember that, or
we'll tell your supervisor.
Hey, nice job peeling
these grapes, Peg.
Al, I have been lied
to and manipulated.
I can explain, Peg.
I can't believe what
Marcy just said.
How can anybody be
so vicious and cruel?
She lies, Peg! She lies!
I know, Al. She's trying to
tear apart our happy family.
You know, I think she wants you.
She has been stalking me, Peg.
You may have to kill her.
There's a chain
saw in the garage.
Oh, Al, I'm so mad.
I'm just so mad I could bake!
May I suggest
pudding in a cloud?
Eat up, boys. The little
woman's bringing plenty more.
So you finally dumped Peg, huh?
Better. I tamed the shrew.
[MEN CHEER]
Welcome, everyone.
What's wrong?
Do I need to freshen
the weenie tots?
Oh, no, no, no.
Everything's great, honey.
Yeah. It sure is, Peg.
Say, how did you get
these margaritas so frothy?
I have this battery-operated
cocktail stirrer.
Oh.
I found it in my nightstand.
Ugh.
Here we go.
Whoa.
Wow.
Look what happened to Marcy.
I don't know what
you guys are doing,
but please come
do it to my wife.
This isn't Marcy. This is Sally.
She's going to be our ring girl.
What is going on here?
Al, I hate to
accuse you of this,
but did you sleep with Peggy?
Are you crazy? That would
violate our first commandment.
ALL: Thou shall never
covet thy own wife.
Oh, hey, hey, the undercard's
starting, everybody.
Here we go. Oh, yes, yes.
I think you better
rearrange those.
Oh.
How's that?
Oh, better. Much, much better.
Oh, Al.
She's every man's fantasy, huh?
She sure is.
Hey, Peg.
What are you doing?
Greasing my muffin tins.
Hey, can I grease a couple?
Oh, thanks, honey.
But, you know,
you have to spread them
just right or they won't rise.
Well, that's not
going to be a problem.
Come on, Al.
Fat Snoopy Schwartz
just bit the nobs
off the human trash compactor.
Boy, you sure know your
way around a rolling pin.
Oh, it's easy, Al.
You just grab it with both hands
and go back and forth,
back and forth.
Peg.
You're driving me
crazy. Let's go upstairs.
Oh, Al, you're terrible.
We're hosting a party.
Besides, you told
me that I don't like sex.
I'll make it quick.
Yeah, rip it off!
Show him no mercy.
Show him no mercy.
Wow, you just got out of prison?
That means you haven't
had sex for a long time.
None that I care to discuss.
PEG: Oh, Al!
AL: Oh, yes!
MEN: Oh, yuck!
PEG: Oh, Al. AL: Oh, yes!
PEG: Oh, Al!
Oh... Al?!
AL: Don't move! [CRASHING]
She's back!
Grab your weenie tots
and run for your lives.
Open the door! Go, go, go!
I'm gonna kill you.
How could you brainwash me?
I can't believe I've actually
cooked, and cleaned,
and crinkled.
Al Bundy, I feel so violated.
Al... Al Bundy? Is that my name?
Who are you?
Gosh, you're a pretty woman.
Nice try, Al.
There is only one punishment
severe enough for you.
No smiley face on
my omelet tomorrow?
No omelet, just toast?
No toast at all?!
Upstairs.
Why, Peg, why?
There's no... There's
no food upstairs.
Oh, don't worry, Al.
When I'm done with you, you
won't have any appetite at all.
I know!
ANNOUNCER: Don't go
away. We'll be right back.
Hey, Bud, I'd like you
to meet the girl next door.
[MOUTHING WORDS]
[♪♪♪]
one to beat around the bush.
Unless, of course, you're in it.
So I'll make this fast.
Like you know any other way.
I'm planning a
get-together for the guys,
and you're going to help me.
Oh, God, Al. Didn't I
just get all dressed up
so I could go to some tired
party and impress your friends?
That was the senior prom, Peg.
And you were only in
your dress for 20 minutes.
Now, there's a big wrestling
show on cable Saturday night.
Is it pay-per-view? No.
It is now.
Oh, come on, Peg.
You want me to look
stupid in front of my friends?
The same friends
who used Silly Putty
to give Nancy and
Sluggo hooters?
Well, at least those
hooters are fun to play with.
Look, Al, it's not like I
don't want to help you,
but I'm very busy.
You think I just sit
here all day long?
No, no, Peg.
No. From the
potholes in the couch,
I'd say you sit here,
and you sit here.
I don't sit there, that's
where I put my food.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[♪♪♪]
Mmm.
Caramel corn on the cob.
Hm. Needs more butter.
MAN [ON TV]: Today on Oprah,
a clean house is a safe house.
Ha-ha. Yeah, right.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
I'm home!
Oh, Peg, don't... Don't get up.
What's that? A
beer? Sounds good.
No, let me get it.
Way to home-make, Peg. Ooh.
Mmm. What am I
complaining about?
There's food in the house
and her mouth is shut.
[LOUDLY CLEARS THROAT]
And for future reference, the
next time a producer asks you
what your method is,
please don't say the sponge.
Well, at least my
form of birth control
isn't Miss Piggy sheets.
I do not use Miss Piggy
sheets. Yes, you do.
Kids, kids! Keep it
down! Keep it down!
Your mother needs her rest.
The house is a mess,
and the family's starving.
Her work here is done.
Dad, Mom doesn't look so good.
You should see her
without her mask.
Look at this TV Guide.
The last chocolate
stain was at 3:00 today.
She's obviously been
unconscious for hours.
Hey, and look. There's a
dent on the coffee table like...
Like it's been hit by
a big, hard hairdo.
Listen, Nancy Drool
and Hardly Boy,
it's impossible for your
mother to have fallen.
Because that would
mean that at some point,
she would have to
have been standing.
Mom stands. I saw
her the other day.
That was just to shake the
crumbs out of her cleavage.
Hey, look, a bonbon stain.
Mom must have slipped on one.
[GASPS]
I got it! [LAUGHS]
Nice try, punk.
Hey. Hey, Mom needs
one of those guys.
The ones that make
you take your clothes off
when you go to their office.
Principal?
Your mother doesn't
need a doctor.
She's breathing. She's fine.
Now relax and let
Daddy enjoy his weekend.
[SIGHS]
Ugh. Oh, my God.
Damn.
Am I in hell?
No, Peg, if you were in
hell, you'd be on a throne
and the devil would be packing.
Who are you people? I
don't recognize you at all.
Well, in that case,
thanks for stopping by.
See you soon.
Hey, I don't even know who
I am. I don't know anything.
Only thing you have
to know is Route 55
is the quickest way out of town.
Oh, my God. Mom has Indonesia.
Now, now, Kelly, don't
bother the nice lady.
She's just on her way out.
Where am I going?
You're going to see your family.
They must miss you. You
seem like a very nice person.
Have a nice life.
Oh, no. Now Dad's got it.
No, no. We're your family.
See, I'm your daughter, Kelly,
and this is your son,
Quasimodo.
Speaking of humps,
why don't we tell
Mommy your nickname?
The Little Fur Maid.
You know, I don't
remember any of you.
But if you say you're my
family, I guess it's true.
Why would we lie about something
the courts have
ruled on repeatedly?
Feeling better, Mom?
Well, Quasi, my head
kind of hurts, and...
And I'm starving.
Aren't you guys hungry?
You know we're
hungry. I'm starving.
Well, why don't I make
some dinner then?
Mom's cooking?
I'm going to call the doctor.
Touch that phone, I'll kill you.
Kids, now that we've
retrained Mommy,
I've come up with a schedule
to maximize her productivity.
There are three of us.
Mommy can only
work 24 hours a day.
Why?
There are two of us.
So let's divide this up evenly.
I get Mommy for 23 hours.
You get her for one.
Well, that's not fair.
I... I love Mommy more.
No, I love Mommy more.
But I'm the only one
who had to love Mommy.
There's not even time
for Mom to go to bed.
Now you see the
brilliance of my schedule.
Hey, you guys gotta see
how clean Mom got
the bathroom upstairs.
Did you know that there's
a window above the sink?
Kel, there's... There's no
window in the bathroom.
Yes, there is.
It looks into the
house next door.
You know, there's
this girl there
who looks exactly like me.
Every time I look over there,
she's always staring at me.
Maybe she's a lesbian.
Maybe she's an idiot.
She does kind of have this
really stupid look on her face.
[LAUGHS]
Come on. I'll show you. I
hope she's home. Come on.
Hi, Al.
I got all the stuff for
your wrestling party.
Oh, except those special
french fries that you love.
I thought I'd just crinkle-cut
them myself. Is that okay?
Well, I'll let it slide, Peg,
since you're still recovering.
You know, I am a little tired.
Are you sure that
I don't sleep at all?
Ever?
It's odd, isn't it?
Hm.
[SQUEAKING] Ooh.
Well,
there's just so much to relearn.
Let's see, I think
I've got it though.
I love housekeeping.
I hate shopping,
except for groceries,
and I can't stand that
stupid Oprah Winfrey Show.
Very good, honey.
Now, there's just
one more thing.
You hate sex.
Don't want it.
Have no use for it.
I know it's tragic,
but I've learned to live
with it many years ago.
And that's why you have
to go to the Jiggly Room.
That's it.
To spare you.
Al, you are such a good husband.
You have been
so patient with me.
And I got you a
copy of Big 'Uns.
I cut out all the articles, so
they won't slow you down.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, baby, you're the greatest.
[CHUCKLES]
How does she get
them so crinkolicious?
I could really learn
to love that woman.
Hey, Daddy.
You, uh... You might
not remember this,
but before your accident,
you had promised me a new car.
Pumpkin, you might
not remember this,
but Mommy is the
vegetable in the family.
Oh. Oh, right.
Duh. Heh-heh!
Well, the other one.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Pumpkin, can you
see who's at that door?
No.
Ooh. Maybe I need glasses.
Okay, Al.
I'm here.
Hey, hey, hey, do I smell...
food?
Jefferson, my man, I got
more food stuck in my teeth
than my colon's
seen in many a year.
Thanks for sharing that, Al.
Oh, I'm not sharing it.
[CHUCKLES]
You... You seem happy, Al.
It's a miracle, buddy. Behold.
Oh, Peg!
Excuse me, while I just
rinse out these gloves.
You know, considering what
a good housekeeper I am,
that shower drain
was just filthy. Oh.
There's a drain?
What's going on? Oh, um,
uh, head injury, amnesia,
reprogramming, crinkle fries.
Don't tell Marcy.
Oh, Peg, this is our
next-door neighbor, Jefferson.
Oh, the free-loading gigolo.
Would you like to try some
bologna I made from scratch?
It's part of the
cavalcade of cold cuts
I'll be serving at
Al's wrestling party.
Hey, is that radish carved
in the shape of Hulk Hogan?
[CHUCKLES]
Well, nothing's too good
for my Al. [CHUCKLES]
Speaking of that, I'm about to
do another load of underwear.
Did you give me
all your yellows?
Sure did, honey. Oh.
Hey, where do I have to hit
Marcy to make her like that?
Just hit her a new
place every day.
[LAUGHS]
Jefferson,
you worthless cabana boy.
I told you six times
to wash the Mercedes,
and it's still filthy.
[SNIFFS]
Is that pine freshness?
Hey, my shoes aren't sticking.
What's going on?
Is someone else here?
Uh, no, not really, Peg.
I was just, uh... Just
tipping the paperboy.
Thank you, sonny.
Now, don't be rude, Al.
Perhaps the paperboy would like
some homemade peach cobbler.
Okay.
I know I'm not in
a parallel universe
because Jefferson
would be working
and Al's fly would be zipped.
So, what the hell is going on?
Oh, well, it's very simple.
I bumped my head, and
now my loving husband Al
is helping me to regain
my former personality.
Really? Here we go.
Al, you monster.
Look, Peggy, I
can't let this happen.
There's something
you have to know.
Yes, there is. I forgot to tell
you that among other things,
you love to wash and detail
cars, especially Mercedes.
Right, uh, Marcy?
[LAUGHS] Right.
Oh, Peggy, you
don't have to do that.
Whoops, chamois lint.
Sorry.
And sorry I didn't finish
re-glazing your bathtub.
I'll do it when you're sleeping.
Do you sleep? Because
Al says good women don't.
Oh, I can't stand this
another minute. Look, Peggy,
Al has brainwashed you.
You are not cheerful,
tidy and hard-working.
You are rude, mean and sloppy.
You're a horrible wife, a
worse mother, and proud of it.
I beg your pardon?
Peggy. And I say this with love.
You're the laziest
bitch in Chicago.
And you are a bitter
woman, Marcy D'Arcy.
You see my loving,
picture-perfect family,
and suddenly, your pretty
boy husband and foreign car
don't seem so spiffy, do they?
Well, your jealous lies aren't
going to get to Mrs. Al Bundy.
Good day.
No.
Peggy, wait.
And for future reference,
my Al prefers his
paper on the porch,
not in the bushes.
Remember that, or
we'll tell your supervisor.
Hey, nice job peeling
these grapes, Peg.
Al, I have been lied
to and manipulated.
I can explain, Peg.
I can't believe what
Marcy just said.
How can anybody be
so vicious and cruel?
She lies, Peg! She lies!
I know, Al. She's trying to
tear apart our happy family.
You know, I think she wants you.
She has been stalking me, Peg.
You may have to kill her.
There's a chain
saw in the garage.
Oh, Al, I'm so mad.
I'm just so mad I could bake!
May I suggest
pudding in a cloud?
Eat up, boys. The little
woman's bringing plenty more.
So you finally dumped Peg, huh?
Better. I tamed the shrew.
[MEN CHEER]
Welcome, everyone.
What's wrong?
Do I need to freshen
the weenie tots?
Oh, no, no, no.
Everything's great, honey.
Yeah. It sure is, Peg.
Say, how did you get
these margaritas so frothy?
I have this battery-operated
cocktail stirrer.
Oh.
I found it in my nightstand.
Ugh.
Here we go.
Whoa.
Wow.
Look what happened to Marcy.
I don't know what
you guys are doing,
but please come
do it to my wife.
This isn't Marcy. This is Sally.
She's going to be our ring girl.
What is going on here?
Al, I hate to
accuse you of this,
but did you sleep with Peggy?
Are you crazy? That would
violate our first commandment.
ALL: Thou shall never
covet thy own wife.
Oh, hey, hey, the undercard's
starting, everybody.
Here we go. Oh, yes, yes.
I think you better
rearrange those.
Oh.
How's that?
Oh, better. Much, much better.
Oh, Al.
She's every man's fantasy, huh?
She sure is.
Hey, Peg.
What are you doing?
Greasing my muffin tins.
Hey, can I grease a couple?
Oh, thanks, honey.
But, you know,
you have to spread them
just right or they won't rise.
Well, that's not
going to be a problem.
Come on, Al.
Fat Snoopy Schwartz
just bit the nobs
off the human trash compactor.
Boy, you sure know your
way around a rolling pin.
Oh, it's easy, Al.
You just grab it with both hands
and go back and forth,
back and forth.
Peg.
You're driving me
crazy. Let's go upstairs.
Oh, Al, you're terrible.
We're hosting a party.
Besides, you told
me that I don't like sex.
I'll make it quick.
Yeah, rip it off!
Show him no mercy.
Show him no mercy.
Wow, you just got out of prison?
That means you haven't
had sex for a long time.
None that I care to discuss.
PEG: Oh, Al!
AL: Oh, yes!
MEN: Oh, yuck!
PEG: Oh, Al. AL: Oh, yes!
PEG: Oh, Al!
Oh... Al?!
AL: Don't move! [CRASHING]
She's back!
Grab your weenie tots
and run for your lives.
Open the door! Go, go, go!
I'm gonna kill you.
How could you brainwash me?
I can't believe I've actually
cooked, and cleaned,
and crinkled.
Al Bundy, I feel so violated.
Al... Al Bundy? Is that my name?
Who are you?
Gosh, you're a pretty woman.
Nice try, Al.
There is only one punishment
severe enough for you.
No smiley face on
my omelet tomorrow?
No omelet, just toast?
No toast at all?!
Upstairs.
Why, Peg, why?
There's no... There's
no food upstairs.
Oh, don't worry, Al.
When I'm done with you, you
won't have any appetite at all.
I know!
ANNOUNCER: Don't go
away. We'll be right back.
Hey, Bud, I'd like you
to meet the girl next door.
[MOUTHING WORDS]
[♪♪♪]