Married with Children (1986–1997): Season 11, Episode 9 - Crimes Against Obesity - full transcript
When Al goes too far with the fat insults, he's put on trial by all the obese women he has insulted over the years.
Okay, kids, you
know what today is?
Mom, don't ask Kelly
tough questions like that.
I know what today is.
It's just the bright
sunny part before tonight.
I guess I shouldn't have
cleaned her crib with Easy Off.
Hm-hm.
Listen, Slow White,
it's Dad's birthday.
♪ For I'm a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ For I'm a jolly good fellow
For I'm a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ Who never zips up his fly ♪
Al, I thought you
didn't like birthdays.
Your birthday, Peg.
You see, I like getting
older because that means
I'm one year closer to death.
And means I'm one year closer
to my successful,
second husband.
Step daddy, yeah.
Oh, stepdad, stepdad.
Come on tell us, Mom,
what's he gonna be like?
Yeah, he's gonna
be real cool right?
And I'll have lots of
young hot stepsisters?
Now, kids, you know the rules
no talking about Lance
until Daddy's on the respirator.
Now, if you're done,
I'd like to discuss
the three cardinal
rules of my birthday.
Leave me alone.
Leave me alone. No sex.
Gee, Bud, sounds
like your prom night.
As much as I appreciated
last year's lavish gift,
a bar of Irish Spring...
With instructional video.
Honey, it was the perfect gift,
soap on a dope.
Mm-hm.
This year all I
want is to be alone,
having breakfast
with my loved ones.
Oh. Oh, daddy, that's so sweet.
At Jiggly Room.
Then after work,
I'm going to cash in
my free birthday coupons.
Dad, you're supposed to be
under 6 to get this ice cream.
Well, if that was in inches,
you could get a double scoop.
Laugh all you want, Peg.
Oh, thanks, Al.
But after sex last
night, I'm all laughed out.
[LAUGHS]
Speaking of a pig in a blanket
I have an IHOP coupon here
I'm not sharing with anybody.
God, old daddy's mean.
Come on, let's make a birthday
card for our new daddy, Lance.
[♪♪♪]
Oh, boy, that Jiggly Room
does serve a good breakfast.
Oh, yeah. The melons,
the muffins, the sticky buns.
Hey.
And the food wasn't bad either.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
You guys went to the
Jiggly Room for breakfast?
Yeah. Yeah, we brought
you back an Egg MacBiggin.
Now, that's a happy meal.
Yeah, but now you
won't want my gift.
Aw...
Lunch at the Jiggly Room.
That's great.
Yeah, what are we waiting for?
Come on. It's
almost 11. Let's go.
Where do you think you're going?
Aren't you open?
Sorry, ma'am, but
unlike your mouth,
we occasionally close.
I want my money back.
These shoes fell
apart after one day,
and I wanna know why.
Well, you see, ma'am,
this is a plaid heel
with a cork filling.
Whereas you are a giant
seal with a pork filling.
You haven't heard
the last of this.
What goes around, comes around.
Well, considering your orbit,
looks like I have
about 10 more years.
How does this place stay open?
It doesn't.
[LAUGHS]
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
Wow, great birthday cake, Mom.
Oh, thanks, Bud.
I've been slaving
over it for hours.
I'm almost done.
So what did you get
Daddy for his birthday?
We're going to tint the
windows on the Dodge.
Great, then no one will
know we're in the car with him.
[CHUCKLES]
And what are you gonna
get the man who has nothing?
Me. The gift that
keeps on buying.
Mom, you get him
that every year,
and every year he returns it.
Actually, he never
even unwraps it.
Well, this year
the birthday boy,
is gonna take me out to dinner
with those stupid
coupons that he got.
I'm gonna go and take a bath.
With the cake?
It's a sponge cake.
[CHUCKLES]
Lance loves my sense of humor.
Bud, quick, somebody
stole Dad's car windows.
Come on. Come on.
Wild idea here, Kel,
but maybe the
windows are in the doors.
What idiot would
steal the windows
and then put them in the doors?
God, people call me stupid.
Not just people.
Haven't you seen the
way the dog looks at you?
And you remember that time
your sea monkey spelled moron?
[LAUGHING]
Man, that was great.
But, Al, you're
not 62 years old.
I am when I'm being spanked
by a topless birthday clown.
Speaking of spanking,
that reminds me I
got a big date tonight.
Well, take off. I'm gonna
stick around till 3:30
and get my overtime. [LAUGHS]
Damn, these one-hour
days are killing me.
Remember me, Bundy?
No.
The one you insulted.
I'm sorry, ma'am.
You'll have to be a
little more specific.
You made fun of my weight.
You called me a giant seal.
Well, let's see. I
had four elephants.
I had a rhino who
wanted some flip-flops.
I had a manatee.
No, no, I don't
remember any seals.
Could you jog my memory?
You know what jog is?
That's what you do when
the ice cream
truck is pulling out.
That's it.
What? What did I say?
[BLOWS]
Al Bundy, you are charged
with crimes against obesity.
Two four, six, eight, don't
make fun of our weight.
Two, four, six, eight don't
make fun of our weight.
One, two, three, four,
you're gonna fall
through the floor.
Okay. I get it.
The No Ma'am Guys sent
you guys over here, didn't they?
It's a birthday gag.
One of you is supposed
to jump out of a cake,
but you ate it on
the way over, right?
Bundy, we are activists.
Oh, I'd say not
quite active enough.
It so happens we
marched yesterday,
shoe shmuck.
In what?
The Million Pound March?
What, Hams Across America?
Joke all you want, Bundy,
we've got all night.
I'd love to invite you all
to the Lobster Hut with me
but I don't think I have
any coupons for krill.
You're not going anywhere.
And just how do you
girls propose to stop
an all-city full back?
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
Ladies, I believe
we can work this out.
You're not grasping the gravity
of the situation, Mr. Bundy.
Oh, I think gravity has
its hands full right now.
We are putting you on trial.
When you are found
guilty, you will be punished.
ALL: Yeah.
Dip him in chocolate.
It's my birthday. I want
to use my coupons.
You should have
thought about that
before you called me a rhino.
How do you like your flip-flops?
They broke.
I'll get you a new
pair right now.
He's making a break for it.
[ALL SHOUTING]
Hey, how come you get
to the read the directions?
Because I can.
Now, get in the car.
Ah, Kelly.
I know this may be a
new experience for you
but, ah, why don't
you try the front seat.
Oh, wow, this is so cool.
All these knobs
and these buttons
and this big wheel.
Does that look a little
more familiar now?
Oh, yeah.
Ah, just get out
of the car, okay?
All right.
Now, you put the tint on.
After I roll up the window.
Did I tell you how
pretty you look today?
No.
Good. Then the blood
is still reaching my brain.
Ow.
You're not gonna
get away with this,
especially not with
juror number two
leaving a trail of tamale
hots from the food court.
Do you want us to gag you?
You're already doing that,
but I would like
to be blindfolded.
We will now hear
from our first witness.
My name is Matilda,
and that man is fatophobic.
And ugly and unfair. [SEVERAL
TALKING INDISTINCTLY]
Order.
Big Mac. Filet-O-fish.
Steamed vegetables.
Okay, ah...
A meatball sandwich.
I'll start tomorrow.
I first came to Gary's
about two years ago.
[♪♪♪]
I don't understand it.
I was a size six
before aerobics class.
All that jumping must
have expanded my foot.
Then I see you must have
fallen on your butt a time or two.
How dare you say
that to my face?
Well, I'd say it
behind your back,
but my car has only
got a half a tank of gas.
[♪♪♪]
What do you say to that, Bundy?
Well, I... I'd say I
used heroic restraint
much like the witness's girdle.
For every insult,
you lose a free meal.
Oh, come on. I didn't mean it.
Haven't you ever had something
just slip right out
of your mouth?
I suppose not.
Come on, it's not like I
say this stuff all the time.
[♪♪♪]
Are we finished here?
Well, I'm not sure I
like this shade of blue.
I'll tell you what I'll do then.
We'll stand you
in front of a mirror.
I'll begin strangling you.
When you reach the shade of
blue that is satisfactory to you
you yell "moo" and I'll stop.
That's it. I'm taking
my business elsewhere.
May I suggest Jenny Craig?
With this attitude
you're gonna be working
here for the rest of your life.
Well, take a gander
into the seat next to you
if you wanna see what
your future look like.
Come, Penelope.
Let's go some place where
they treat us with respect.
I'd try the moon.
You'll weigh less there.
Just a second here, Peg.
God, help. God, help me.
Dexter, get the
tranquilizer gun.
I'm afraid we're gonna have
to tag and release this thing.
Come on, Arnold, we're leaving.
I want a balloon.
You've already got one.
Ah, no more.
No more. I can't take anymore.
Feeling bad, aren't
you, Mr. Bundy?
My coupons.
You are incorrigible.
All right. I am ready
to announce my verdict.
Now, just a second,
Judge Cheeto.
Now, I demand equal time.
Speaking of equal, you
really ought to try some.
I would give you equal time
but who would be so loathsome
and horrid as to defend you?
Oh, Al.
Peg, thank God, you're here.
Gee, Al, you really are tortured
by your customers.
We are trying to teach this man
that his behavior towards
us is unacceptable.
But a better use of time
would be to teach
each other the words:
"No, thank you, I'm full."
Does he ever stop?
Only in bed.
But he never really
gets started so...
Peg...
Peg, tell them about the time
I let your mother
come live with us.
I'll take care of this.
You can't believe how
rude he was to her.
So she's big-boned as well.
You know, inside her
there's a thin woman
just dying to get out.
We all say that.
No, there really is.
Last Thanksgiving,
she ate my Aunt Edna.
I told her not to stand
so close to the pies.
That happens.
I lost a kindergarten
class that way.
And I'm on trial.
Okay, now brace yourself.
I'm gonna pull it
off on three, okay?
[SIGHS]
Three.
[SCREAMS]
All right. Should we
try the blowtorch again?
[WHIMPERING]
Anything but that again.
All right. Well, I still think
that the razor worked the best.
I don't have any eyebrows left.
Sure you do. Here you go.
Dad's gonna be home any second.
We got to get these bubbles out.
Fine.
Good, Bud, nice time for a nap.
Uh...
Bud?
Bud, wake up.
Darn it.
[GRUNTING]
Bad Bud.
Bad Bud.
Mrs. Bundy, has your
husband ever shown
any compassion
towards large women?
Well, he did like that big mom
on What's Happening.
But then he even
made fun of her.
Traitor.
Al, I'm under oath.
Oath? You swore on
a stack of pancakes.
I've heard enough.
Al Bundy, I find you guilty
of excessive cruelty
to large women.
You should see what
he's like with midgets.
The proper term
is little people.
Well, that's the proper term
for anyone standing next to you.
That's it.
Hey.
That's our dinner
coupons, you fat cow.
No, no, no, we don't
like to be called fat.
Then stay home.
You go girl.
Let the punishment begin.
[POP MUSIC PLAYING]
Since it's your birthday
and you love the
Jiggly Room so much
we decided to bring
the Jiggly Room to you.
But the...
But all the wrong
things are jiggling.
No, stop.
Stop. Stop.
I...
I have a confession to make.
Oh.
I was once overweight.
[ALL GASP]
Yes, it's true.
I was in my early teens.
Blubber Butt Bundy
they called me.
They used to stick notes to
the back of my husky pants,
draw mean pictures on me,
put a cowbell around my neck.
Kids can be so cruel.
Those were my parents.
So I guess what I'm trying to
say is that I make fun of you
because I'm trying
to deny my own pain.
[ALL SOBBING]
Al Bundy,
we are dropping all
charges against you.
Thank you
my metabolically
challenged chums.
In fact, we are gonna
put out the word
that Gary's shoes is
a friend to the large.
Oh, you don't have to do that.
It's just nice to realize
that we really are no
different from each other.
Y-you're right.
We're exactly the same.
You know, the only difference is
I stopped eating.
You know, Al, I never
knew that about you.
Peg, I lied.
Just like I tell you
your hair isn't ridiculous.
Then I should be furious at you.
But since it's your
birthday let's just go home,
and I'll tuck you in
with some biggins.
Well, Peg...
My biggins or yours?
Your biggins, Al.
Thanks, Peg.
Peg, you know, I got to tell you
spending eight hours
looking at fat women
you don't...
You don't look half bad.
Oh, honey.
Oh, Al.
Oh, Peg.
Oh, Lance.
Hey, how did you replace
Dad's window so fast?
MARCY: Jefferson,
get out the tanning bed.
Someone stole the
window to my Mercedes.
ALL: Happy Birthday.
Da-ta.
Hey, thanks, kids.
Hey, this turned out to be
a pretty great
birthday after all.
[CRIES OUT]
Ow.
[♪♪♪]
know what today is?
Mom, don't ask Kelly
tough questions like that.
I know what today is.
It's just the bright
sunny part before tonight.
I guess I shouldn't have
cleaned her crib with Easy Off.
Hm-hm.
Listen, Slow White,
it's Dad's birthday.
♪ For I'm a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ For I'm a jolly good fellow
For I'm a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ Who never zips up his fly ♪
Al, I thought you
didn't like birthdays.
Your birthday, Peg.
You see, I like getting
older because that means
I'm one year closer to death.
And means I'm one year closer
to my successful,
second husband.
Step daddy, yeah.
Oh, stepdad, stepdad.
Come on tell us, Mom,
what's he gonna be like?
Yeah, he's gonna
be real cool right?
And I'll have lots of
young hot stepsisters?
Now, kids, you know the rules
no talking about Lance
until Daddy's on the respirator.
Now, if you're done,
I'd like to discuss
the three cardinal
rules of my birthday.
Leave me alone.
Leave me alone. No sex.
Gee, Bud, sounds
like your prom night.
As much as I appreciated
last year's lavish gift,
a bar of Irish Spring...
With instructional video.
Honey, it was the perfect gift,
soap on a dope.
Mm-hm.
This year all I
want is to be alone,
having breakfast
with my loved ones.
Oh. Oh, daddy, that's so sweet.
At Jiggly Room.
Then after work,
I'm going to cash in
my free birthday coupons.
Dad, you're supposed to be
under 6 to get this ice cream.
Well, if that was in inches,
you could get a double scoop.
Laugh all you want, Peg.
Oh, thanks, Al.
But after sex last
night, I'm all laughed out.
[LAUGHS]
Speaking of a pig in a blanket
I have an IHOP coupon here
I'm not sharing with anybody.
God, old daddy's mean.
Come on, let's make a birthday
card for our new daddy, Lance.
[♪♪♪]
Oh, boy, that Jiggly Room
does serve a good breakfast.
Oh, yeah. The melons,
the muffins, the sticky buns.
Hey.
And the food wasn't bad either.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
You guys went to the
Jiggly Room for breakfast?
Yeah. Yeah, we brought
you back an Egg MacBiggin.
Now, that's a happy meal.
Yeah, but now you
won't want my gift.
Aw...
Lunch at the Jiggly Room.
That's great.
Yeah, what are we waiting for?
Come on. It's
almost 11. Let's go.
Where do you think you're going?
Aren't you open?
Sorry, ma'am, but
unlike your mouth,
we occasionally close.
I want my money back.
These shoes fell
apart after one day,
and I wanna know why.
Well, you see, ma'am,
this is a plaid heel
with a cork filling.
Whereas you are a giant
seal with a pork filling.
You haven't heard
the last of this.
What goes around, comes around.
Well, considering your orbit,
looks like I have
about 10 more years.
How does this place stay open?
It doesn't.
[LAUGHS]
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
Wow, great birthday cake, Mom.
Oh, thanks, Bud.
I've been slaving
over it for hours.
I'm almost done.
So what did you get
Daddy for his birthday?
We're going to tint the
windows on the Dodge.
Great, then no one will
know we're in the car with him.
[CHUCKLES]
And what are you gonna
get the man who has nothing?
Me. The gift that
keeps on buying.
Mom, you get him
that every year,
and every year he returns it.
Actually, he never
even unwraps it.
Well, this year
the birthday boy,
is gonna take me out to dinner
with those stupid
coupons that he got.
I'm gonna go and take a bath.
With the cake?
It's a sponge cake.
[CHUCKLES]
Lance loves my sense of humor.
Bud, quick, somebody
stole Dad's car windows.
Come on. Come on.
Wild idea here, Kel,
but maybe the
windows are in the doors.
What idiot would
steal the windows
and then put them in the doors?
God, people call me stupid.
Not just people.
Haven't you seen the
way the dog looks at you?
And you remember that time
your sea monkey spelled moron?
[LAUGHING]
Man, that was great.
But, Al, you're
not 62 years old.
I am when I'm being spanked
by a topless birthday clown.
Speaking of spanking,
that reminds me I
got a big date tonight.
Well, take off. I'm gonna
stick around till 3:30
and get my overtime. [LAUGHS]
Damn, these one-hour
days are killing me.
Remember me, Bundy?
No.
The one you insulted.
I'm sorry, ma'am.
You'll have to be a
little more specific.
You made fun of my weight.
You called me a giant seal.
Well, let's see. I
had four elephants.
I had a rhino who
wanted some flip-flops.
I had a manatee.
No, no, I don't
remember any seals.
Could you jog my memory?
You know what jog is?
That's what you do when
the ice cream
truck is pulling out.
That's it.
What? What did I say?
[BLOWS]
Al Bundy, you are charged
with crimes against obesity.
Two four, six, eight, don't
make fun of our weight.
Two, four, six, eight don't
make fun of our weight.
One, two, three, four,
you're gonna fall
through the floor.
Okay. I get it.
The No Ma'am Guys sent
you guys over here, didn't they?
It's a birthday gag.
One of you is supposed
to jump out of a cake,
but you ate it on
the way over, right?
Bundy, we are activists.
Oh, I'd say not
quite active enough.
It so happens we
marched yesterday,
shoe shmuck.
In what?
The Million Pound March?
What, Hams Across America?
Joke all you want, Bundy,
we've got all night.
I'd love to invite you all
to the Lobster Hut with me
but I don't think I have
any coupons for krill.
You're not going anywhere.
And just how do you
girls propose to stop
an all-city full back?
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
Ladies, I believe
we can work this out.
You're not grasping the gravity
of the situation, Mr. Bundy.
Oh, I think gravity has
its hands full right now.
We are putting you on trial.
When you are found
guilty, you will be punished.
ALL: Yeah.
Dip him in chocolate.
It's my birthday. I want
to use my coupons.
You should have
thought about that
before you called me a rhino.
How do you like your flip-flops?
They broke.
I'll get you a new
pair right now.
He's making a break for it.
[ALL SHOUTING]
Hey, how come you get
to the read the directions?
Because I can.
Now, get in the car.
Ah, Kelly.
I know this may be a
new experience for you
but, ah, why don't
you try the front seat.
Oh, wow, this is so cool.
All these knobs
and these buttons
and this big wheel.
Does that look a little
more familiar now?
Oh, yeah.
Ah, just get out
of the car, okay?
All right.
Now, you put the tint on.
After I roll up the window.
Did I tell you how
pretty you look today?
No.
Good. Then the blood
is still reaching my brain.
Ow.
You're not gonna
get away with this,
especially not with
juror number two
leaving a trail of tamale
hots from the food court.
Do you want us to gag you?
You're already doing that,
but I would like
to be blindfolded.
We will now hear
from our first witness.
My name is Matilda,
and that man is fatophobic.
And ugly and unfair. [SEVERAL
TALKING INDISTINCTLY]
Order.
Big Mac. Filet-O-fish.
Steamed vegetables.
Okay, ah...
A meatball sandwich.
I'll start tomorrow.
I first came to Gary's
about two years ago.
[♪♪♪]
I don't understand it.
I was a size six
before aerobics class.
All that jumping must
have expanded my foot.
Then I see you must have
fallen on your butt a time or two.
How dare you say
that to my face?
Well, I'd say it
behind your back,
but my car has only
got a half a tank of gas.
[♪♪♪]
What do you say to that, Bundy?
Well, I... I'd say I
used heroic restraint
much like the witness's girdle.
For every insult,
you lose a free meal.
Oh, come on. I didn't mean it.
Haven't you ever had something
just slip right out
of your mouth?
I suppose not.
Come on, it's not like I
say this stuff all the time.
[♪♪♪]
Are we finished here?
Well, I'm not sure I
like this shade of blue.
I'll tell you what I'll do then.
We'll stand you
in front of a mirror.
I'll begin strangling you.
When you reach the shade of
blue that is satisfactory to you
you yell "moo" and I'll stop.
That's it. I'm taking
my business elsewhere.
May I suggest Jenny Craig?
With this attitude
you're gonna be working
here for the rest of your life.
Well, take a gander
into the seat next to you
if you wanna see what
your future look like.
Come, Penelope.
Let's go some place where
they treat us with respect.
I'd try the moon.
You'll weigh less there.
Just a second here, Peg.
God, help. God, help me.
Dexter, get the
tranquilizer gun.
I'm afraid we're gonna have
to tag and release this thing.
Come on, Arnold, we're leaving.
I want a balloon.
You've already got one.
Ah, no more.
No more. I can't take anymore.
Feeling bad, aren't
you, Mr. Bundy?
My coupons.
You are incorrigible.
All right. I am ready
to announce my verdict.
Now, just a second,
Judge Cheeto.
Now, I demand equal time.
Speaking of equal, you
really ought to try some.
I would give you equal time
but who would be so loathsome
and horrid as to defend you?
Oh, Al.
Peg, thank God, you're here.
Gee, Al, you really are tortured
by your customers.
We are trying to teach this man
that his behavior towards
us is unacceptable.
But a better use of time
would be to teach
each other the words:
"No, thank you, I'm full."
Does he ever stop?
Only in bed.
But he never really
gets started so...
Peg...
Peg, tell them about the time
I let your mother
come live with us.
I'll take care of this.
You can't believe how
rude he was to her.
So she's big-boned as well.
You know, inside her
there's a thin woman
just dying to get out.
We all say that.
No, there really is.
Last Thanksgiving,
she ate my Aunt Edna.
I told her not to stand
so close to the pies.
That happens.
I lost a kindergarten
class that way.
And I'm on trial.
Okay, now brace yourself.
I'm gonna pull it
off on three, okay?
[SIGHS]
Three.
[SCREAMS]
All right. Should we
try the blowtorch again?
[WHIMPERING]
Anything but that again.
All right. Well, I still think
that the razor worked the best.
I don't have any eyebrows left.
Sure you do. Here you go.
Dad's gonna be home any second.
We got to get these bubbles out.
Fine.
Good, Bud, nice time for a nap.
Uh...
Bud?
Bud, wake up.
Darn it.
[GRUNTING]
Bad Bud.
Bad Bud.
Mrs. Bundy, has your
husband ever shown
any compassion
towards large women?
Well, he did like that big mom
on What's Happening.
But then he even
made fun of her.
Traitor.
Al, I'm under oath.
Oath? You swore on
a stack of pancakes.
I've heard enough.
Al Bundy, I find you guilty
of excessive cruelty
to large women.
You should see what
he's like with midgets.
The proper term
is little people.
Well, that's the proper term
for anyone standing next to you.
That's it.
Hey.
That's our dinner
coupons, you fat cow.
No, no, no, we don't
like to be called fat.
Then stay home.
You go girl.
Let the punishment begin.
[POP MUSIC PLAYING]
Since it's your birthday
and you love the
Jiggly Room so much
we decided to bring
the Jiggly Room to you.
But the...
But all the wrong
things are jiggling.
No, stop.
Stop. Stop.
I...
I have a confession to make.
Oh.
I was once overweight.
[ALL GASP]
Yes, it's true.
I was in my early teens.
Blubber Butt Bundy
they called me.
They used to stick notes to
the back of my husky pants,
draw mean pictures on me,
put a cowbell around my neck.
Kids can be so cruel.
Those were my parents.
So I guess what I'm trying to
say is that I make fun of you
because I'm trying
to deny my own pain.
[ALL SOBBING]
Al Bundy,
we are dropping all
charges against you.
Thank you
my metabolically
challenged chums.
In fact, we are gonna
put out the word
that Gary's shoes is
a friend to the large.
Oh, you don't have to do that.
It's just nice to realize
that we really are no
different from each other.
Y-you're right.
We're exactly the same.
You know, the only difference is
I stopped eating.
You know, Al, I never
knew that about you.
Peg, I lied.
Just like I tell you
your hair isn't ridiculous.
Then I should be furious at you.
But since it's your
birthday let's just go home,
and I'll tuck you in
with some biggins.
Well, Peg...
My biggins or yours?
Your biggins, Al.
Thanks, Peg.
Peg, you know, I got to tell you
spending eight hours
looking at fat women
you don't...
You don't look half bad.
Oh, honey.
Oh, Al.
Oh, Peg.
Oh, Lance.
Hey, how did you replace
Dad's window so fast?
MARCY: Jefferson,
get out the tanning bed.
Someone stole the
window to my Mercedes.
ALL: Happy Birthday.
Da-ta.
Hey, thanks, kids.
Hey, this turned out to be
a pretty great
birthday after all.
[CRIES OUT]
Ow.
[♪♪♪]