Malcolm in the Middle (2000–2006): Season 1, Episode 8 - Krelboyne Picnic - full transcript
The family have to go to the Krelboyne class picnic. Malcolm doesn't want to go because he has to do an act and doesn't want to look bad in front of his family especially Francis who is home for the weekend. Francis promises to get Malcolm out of doing his act but meets a girl at the picnic and no longer wants to leave. Lois tries to fit in with the other parents unsuccessfully and Hal serves meat from the BBQ even though the Krelboynes all voted that there would be no meat. Reese ends up on the run from eraserheads brother who catches him in the end giving him a wedgie. When Stevie leaves his chemicals with Malcolm, Malcolm desperate to do anything to get out of his act tries to make a stink bomb but ends up making a level 3 toxic bomb. The picnic seems to be ruined until Malcolm guiltily goes up on stage to preform his act. Everyone is amazed by it especially his family. Malcolm fears they will all treat him differently but to his relief nothing has changed.
Let me go!
Get off it!
I can't breathe!
Ow!
Leave the squirrel alone
and get the fire extinguisher.
Reese, no!
Blood tastes funny.
You better be naked
when I get back.
Done.
♪ Yes, no, maybe ♪
♪ I don't know ♪
♪ Can you repeat the question? ♪
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
♪ And you're not so big ♪
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
♪ And you're not so big ♪
♪ Life is unfair. ♪
Malcolm.
Malcolm.
How was that
even remotely fair?!
That's for us all having to go
to your stupid
Krelboyne picnic today.
You think I
want you to go?
My special class
is having a family day,
and if that's not bad enough,
it's on the weekend
that Francis is home.
I'm going to look like
a total idiot in front of him.
Pretty bunnies.
Pretty bunnies.
Luckily, I've got a brilliant
plan to get out of this.
Oh, poor baby.
Yeah, I'm sick.
No, you're grounded for pouring
perfectly good vegetable soup
in the toilet.
And you owe me 49 cents.
I don't understand
why you don't want to go
to this picnic, Malcolm;
I think it sounds like fun.
Yeah, sitting on the grass,
eating barbecue.
It's Krelboynes.
It's not going to be
on the grass
because half the class
is allergic.
And don't expect
any meat, either,
because they all voted
not to serve anything
that ever had a mother.
Cousin Nancy
doesn't have a mother.
That's right.
She has two daddies.
Oh, man, two guys
as your parents?
That house has got to
be a dude's paradise.
You know,
there are a lot
of proven health benefits
to the vegetarian lifestyle.
In fact, I've
been seriously
considering it myself.
It'll be nice
to meet the other parents.
I'm sure they're much better
than those carnival freaks
in Reese's class.
What a horrible
bunch of people.
Amen to that.
Well, this just sounds
like a blast to me.
Why do I have
to go, again?
Because it's a family
picnic, Francis,
and you're a member
of this family.
Oh, right, see, I just
keep forgetting that,
being forced to live
a thousand miles away
at military school
and all.
Well, I can't wait to see
this academic circus.
I bet it's really cute.
It's not a circus.
It's a bunch of social misfits
doing a bunch of weird stunts
to show off how smart they are.
What's your weird stunt, honey?
Just some lame thing--
nothing you want to see.
You've got to get
me out of there
before my turn comes.
Why? What's the big deal?
It just is, okay?
I don't want
to do my act.
All right, relax.
We'll hang out
for, like, 15 minutes,
establish your presence.
Then we'll go over the fence,
like at Grandma's wedding.
That's why I love this guy.
Welcome!
Welcome one and all!
Run away with us
and join the circus!
The academic circus!
Oh, no.
My teacher.
Malcolm, thank goodness.
I was so nervous.
I had a dream
you didn't come, and I was
being chased by something big
but invisible and...
Never mind.
You're here, and that's
all that matters.
Hello, little guy.
Ready to leave your family
and join the circus?
Oh.
Huh?
Little lower, son.
Oh, look at all
your little friends.
Hi.
Hi, there.
They're not
my friends.
They're a bunch
of geeks and losers.
Malcolm's in the house!
Malcolm! Malcolm!
Malcolm! Malcolm! Malcolm!
I'm going to kick
so much Krelboyne ass today,
it's not even funny.
Go, Malcolm! Go, Malcolm!
Go, Malcolm!
Easy.
You got all afternoon.
We're getting out of here
in 15 minutes, right?
Make it ten.
Yeah.
Ooh, hello.
And who might you be?
What?
Nothing.
Hello. I'm Lois.
This is Hal.
We're Malcolm's parents.
That's very nice.
I'm Dorene.
These are the girls.
Hello, it's nice
to meet you all.
Yeah, it's really...
...whatever.
Hope everybody
likes brownies.
Oh, my, that is
so thoughtful.
Are those nuts?
Walnuts.
Oh, gee, we
can't have that.
Some of the children are
severely allergic to nuts.
Oh, my gosh, I had no idea.
Whose child is allergic?
Well, no one in this class
specifically,
but you can never
be too careful.
Believe me, this isn't meant
to publicly humiliate you.
I'm sure they
were delicious.
Oh, hi-ya, fellas.
Hey, there.
What's your pleasure--
nature dog,
health patty,
tofu square?
Good God.
Want me to brown that chicken
leg a little more for you?
Well...
looks like I got here
just in time.
Gentlemen...
behold.
Is that... meat?
Nothing but.
Hi.
Hey.
So, uh... you here?
Yeah.
You?
Yeah.
Hey, Stevie.
Can't stop... to chat.
Got to get... my chemicals...
in the shade.
I thought you were doing
your report on oscilloscopes.
Changed to... catalytics.
It's more... exciting.
Right?
What do you care?
I'm up... after you.
So?
Following you...
is like...
following Streisand.
Well, don't worry about it.
You won't be following me.
Why?
Have I been... bumped?
Francis, what are you doing?!
Come on, the coast
is clear and...
It's already been
ten minutes and...
We're not ditching out, are we?
A small pack of Krelboynes
has ventured out of hiding
to bask in the afternoon sun.
Their defenses down,
they're an easy target
for nearby predators.
They sense danger,
but it is too late.
Their hesitation is fatal.
And the circle of life goes on.
Kafkaesque, isn't it?
Huh?
Never mind.
Kick his butt,
Alphonse.
Wait... wait.
Here it comes.
Yes, there!
I've arrested
the cellular mitosis!
Thank you, Dabney.
That was riveting.
Our next act needs
no introduction,
having been the buzz of
last year's math fair.
Please welcome
Flora Mayesh
and Fermat's
Last Theorem!
Hello? Is this...?
Testing.
So, I understand that Malcolm
has quite the vocabulary.
Yeah, he's just yap, yap,
yap, yap, yap, all day long.
Well, that's not
the vocabulary I meant.
It seems that he's taught
several of the children
the "R" word.
The "R" word?
I'm sure it's just something
he picked up off the street--
certainly not at home.
Yeah, well, "R" you, lady.
So, this is
going well, right?
It's pretty much
everything I expected.
So, you ready, Malcolm?
I mean, you're all set, right?
Sure.
Good.
I'm... ready.
Thanks for... asking.
You know what's so great
about our relationship?
It just still feels so fresh,
you know what I mean?
Totally.
All right,
take it away.
I need two burgers
and a dog, Hal.
Coming up.
Dewey?
Thank you, sir.
All right.
Thank you.
What have I told you
about raw meat, son?
I'm not.
Dad, I want you
to meet someone.
This is Jody.
Hi.
Oh, it's so great
to finally meet you.
Francis talks about you
all the time.
Oh, yeah?
You, too.
I'm so glad
that went well.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give to you
the Nixon electromagnet.
This is going dreadfully.
Am I wrong?
Please tell me I'm wrong.
Excuse me.
For what?
This is it.
You're almost... up.
Stop reminding me.
Nervous?
No, I just don't want
to do this.
Don't you ever get sick
of being a Krelboyne?
Of people thinking
you're some kind of freak?
You are...
what you are.
Accept it.
Not without a fight.
You're harshing... my buzz.
Don't let... anyone...
mess with... my stuff.
You know, in the wrong hands,
these chemicals can make
a pretty powerful stink bomb.
These hands look wrong enough.
And this field trip to
the historic ghost town,
I think we all know
what that leads to--
the occult, devil worship,
state colleges.
So, then, it's agreed
that the trip
will be canceled.
Wait a minute--
you can't decide that.
You didn't even vote.
I was only going
by the general tone
of the group.
General tone?
I haven't heard a peep
out of any of these
other women all day.
What, you all agree
with what Mrs. Control
Freak here is saying?
Well...
Phyllis!
My name isn't Phyllis!
And... no,
I don't feel that way.
- I don't either!
- I never liked...
My husband told me
I should stand up to you
after I came home from
that bake sale in tears.
My soy burger...
it's bleeding!
This is meat!
We're eating meat!
Oh, my God!
We're eating meat!
Get out of the way!
Come here!
Okay, the difference
between a stink bomb
and a level-three
toxic biohazard
is apparently two extra drops
of sulfur tetra-oxide.
I'm totally suing that Web site.
I didn't do it!
I didn't do it!
Where are you, honey?
I want... our seat.
I'm kind of conflicted.
On the one hand,
I ruined Caroline's picnic
and very possibly endangered
a hundred lives.
On the other hand,
now I don't have to do my act.
Did you miss me?
Mm-hmm.
So who was that girl with
her hands all over you?
What girl, the paramedic?
She was making sure
I didn't inhale any toxic fumes.
Oh, I'm sure you loved
every moment of it.
God, would you
quit nagging me?
Well, maybe if you paid a little
more attention to me.
More attention?
You're smothering me.
I need space.
Oh, you'll get your space.
We're through.
Fine by me.
Here's the school
ring you gave me.
The teddy bear key chain.
Your shirt.
Your two poems.
The book you lent me.
Your Depeche Mode tape!
Oh, and here's your gum.
I love Krelboynes.
And I swear,
I'm not just saying that.
Why would I?
Nice hang time.
Well, it's really
a simple function
of the tensile strength
of the elastic waistband.
I brought you a hamburger.
This should
make us even, right?
Thank you.
Is this meat?
Uh, it might be.
Look what I've been reduced to.
Okay, well, um...
I'm going to...
Oh, Malcolm, I'm so sorry.
Huh?
I know how much
you were looking forward
to doing your act...
especially
with your family here.
I failed you.
No, you didn't.
Yes, I did.
After today, they're going
to fire my ass so fast.
My parents were right.
I never should have left
the cannery.
Want another hamburger?
Yes!
I do. I do.
I really do.
Can you believe it? Meat.
I don't know about you,
but I'm outraged.
I want you to know
that I am going to see to it
that you never serve
on a school committee,
hold an office or even
so much as set foot
in a PTA meeting
as long as I can help it.
Is that a promise, lady?
'Cause I'd really like
to get that in writing.
I should have expected as much
from the mother
of a foul-mouth thug.
What he's even doing
in this class, I don't know.
Oh, I see you
made a friend.
Yeah. Tomorrow we're going
shopping for shoes.
Oh.
Academic circus?
Well, you certainly got
the circus part right.
This is the biggest
debacle I've ever seen.
I guarantee you
Principal Littledove
is going to hear
about this.
Exactly.
He sure will,
from all of us.
Can I ask you
a question?
Yes. All women suck.
No, I mean...
you'd still like me
even if you found out
I was a freak, right?
And the family wouldn't treat me
any different, right?
Dude, we already
know you're smart.
Yeah, but...
Never mind.
Just don't say I
didn't warn you.
Look, it's Malcolm!
Hey, hey,
Malcolm's going to do it, guys!
The PTA is
online, missy.
Are you aware of the
power of the Internet?
Hey, everyone, look!
Look, Malcolm's doing it.
He's doing it.
Hey, shut the hell up!
Um...
could somebody please
show me some credit cards?
Okay.
The numbers on them are:
3699-7412-6823-
9140 and... 3424-
1804-1835-3668.
He's right!
Okay.
If you add the individual
digits on each card,
you get 74 and 66.
If you multiply those numbers,
you get 4,884.
How do we even know
he's right?
Oh, he's right.
4,884 squared
is 23,853,456.
The square root
of 4,884
is 69 and 885/1,000.
The square root of that
is eight and 3,597/10,000.
Factor it!
The factors are 232 and 73.
Multiply it by pi.
26 and 261/1,000.
Cube it!
584 and 214/1,000.
What's the arc tangent?
89 and 9/10 degrees.
Natural log!
6 and 3,699/10,000.
What's the reciprocal?
17/10,000.
In base eight!
11,431.
What's the capitol
of Iceland?
Reykjavik--
but that's not math.
Why can't you do that?
Cellular mitosis.
What are we paying
your tutor for?
Do you have
any brothers?
No.
Hey.
Hi.
So, um... how you been?
Fine.
You look good.
Yes, it was.
It was a
wonderful circus.
So many people
were worried...
Was it as bad as
I think it was?
Man... you killed.
That's what I
was afraid of.
Sorry you didn't
get to do your act.
Shove... the sympathy...
showboat.
He fell on his butt
and everything.
He was just, like, dazed.
Is Malcolm a robot?
No, son, he's just smart.
Very, very,
very, very, very,
very smart.
Hey, Malcolm...
How many fingers
am I holding up?
Shut up.
Analyze what I had for lunch.
Get off me, you moron.
You know what
I don't understand?
How you can rattle off
all those numbers,
but you can't remember
to brush your teeth.
Hey, who's for
Burger Barn?
Burger Barn!
Burger Barn!
Burger Barn!
Get off it!
I can't breathe!
Ow!
Leave the squirrel alone
and get the fire extinguisher.
Reese, no!
Blood tastes funny.
You better be naked
when I get back.
Done.
♪ Yes, no, maybe ♪
♪ I don't know ♪
♪ Can you repeat the question? ♪
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
♪ And you're not so big ♪
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
♪ And you're not so big ♪
♪ Life is unfair. ♪
Malcolm.
Malcolm.
How was that
even remotely fair?!
That's for us all having to go
to your stupid
Krelboyne picnic today.
You think I
want you to go?
My special class
is having a family day,
and if that's not bad enough,
it's on the weekend
that Francis is home.
I'm going to look like
a total idiot in front of him.
Pretty bunnies.
Pretty bunnies.
Luckily, I've got a brilliant
plan to get out of this.
Oh, poor baby.
Yeah, I'm sick.
No, you're grounded for pouring
perfectly good vegetable soup
in the toilet.
And you owe me 49 cents.
I don't understand
why you don't want to go
to this picnic, Malcolm;
I think it sounds like fun.
Yeah, sitting on the grass,
eating barbecue.
It's Krelboynes.
It's not going to be
on the grass
because half the class
is allergic.
And don't expect
any meat, either,
because they all voted
not to serve anything
that ever had a mother.
Cousin Nancy
doesn't have a mother.
That's right.
She has two daddies.
Oh, man, two guys
as your parents?
That house has got to
be a dude's paradise.
You know,
there are a lot
of proven health benefits
to the vegetarian lifestyle.
In fact, I've
been seriously
considering it myself.
It'll be nice
to meet the other parents.
I'm sure they're much better
than those carnival freaks
in Reese's class.
What a horrible
bunch of people.
Amen to that.
Well, this just sounds
like a blast to me.
Why do I have
to go, again?
Because it's a family
picnic, Francis,
and you're a member
of this family.
Oh, right, see, I just
keep forgetting that,
being forced to live
a thousand miles away
at military school
and all.
Well, I can't wait to see
this academic circus.
I bet it's really cute.
It's not a circus.
It's a bunch of social misfits
doing a bunch of weird stunts
to show off how smart they are.
What's your weird stunt, honey?
Just some lame thing--
nothing you want to see.
You've got to get
me out of there
before my turn comes.
Why? What's the big deal?
It just is, okay?
I don't want
to do my act.
All right, relax.
We'll hang out
for, like, 15 minutes,
establish your presence.
Then we'll go over the fence,
like at Grandma's wedding.
That's why I love this guy.
Welcome!
Welcome one and all!
Run away with us
and join the circus!
The academic circus!
Oh, no.
My teacher.
Malcolm, thank goodness.
I was so nervous.
I had a dream
you didn't come, and I was
being chased by something big
but invisible and...
Never mind.
You're here, and that's
all that matters.
Hello, little guy.
Ready to leave your family
and join the circus?
Oh.
Huh?
Little lower, son.
Oh, look at all
your little friends.
Hi.
Hi, there.
They're not
my friends.
They're a bunch
of geeks and losers.
Malcolm's in the house!
Malcolm! Malcolm!
Malcolm! Malcolm! Malcolm!
I'm going to kick
so much Krelboyne ass today,
it's not even funny.
Go, Malcolm! Go, Malcolm!
Go, Malcolm!
Easy.
You got all afternoon.
We're getting out of here
in 15 minutes, right?
Make it ten.
Yeah.
Ooh, hello.
And who might you be?
What?
Nothing.
Hello. I'm Lois.
This is Hal.
We're Malcolm's parents.
That's very nice.
I'm Dorene.
These are the girls.
Hello, it's nice
to meet you all.
Yeah, it's really...
...whatever.
Hope everybody
likes brownies.
Oh, my, that is
so thoughtful.
Are those nuts?
Walnuts.
Oh, gee, we
can't have that.
Some of the children are
severely allergic to nuts.
Oh, my gosh, I had no idea.
Whose child is allergic?
Well, no one in this class
specifically,
but you can never
be too careful.
Believe me, this isn't meant
to publicly humiliate you.
I'm sure they
were delicious.
Oh, hi-ya, fellas.
Hey, there.
What's your pleasure--
nature dog,
health patty,
tofu square?
Good God.
Want me to brown that chicken
leg a little more for you?
Well...
looks like I got here
just in time.
Gentlemen...
behold.
Is that... meat?
Nothing but.
Hi.
Hey.
So, uh... you here?
Yeah.
You?
Yeah.
Hey, Stevie.
Can't stop... to chat.
Got to get... my chemicals...
in the shade.
I thought you were doing
your report on oscilloscopes.
Changed to... catalytics.
It's more... exciting.
Right?
What do you care?
I'm up... after you.
So?
Following you...
is like...
following Streisand.
Well, don't worry about it.
You won't be following me.
Why?
Have I been... bumped?
Francis, what are you doing?!
Come on, the coast
is clear and...
It's already been
ten minutes and...
We're not ditching out, are we?
A small pack of Krelboynes
has ventured out of hiding
to bask in the afternoon sun.
Their defenses down,
they're an easy target
for nearby predators.
They sense danger,
but it is too late.
Their hesitation is fatal.
And the circle of life goes on.
Kafkaesque, isn't it?
Huh?
Never mind.
Kick his butt,
Alphonse.
Wait... wait.
Here it comes.
Yes, there!
I've arrested
the cellular mitosis!
Thank you, Dabney.
That was riveting.
Our next act needs
no introduction,
having been the buzz of
last year's math fair.
Please welcome
Flora Mayesh
and Fermat's
Last Theorem!
Hello? Is this...?
Testing.
So, I understand that Malcolm
has quite the vocabulary.
Yeah, he's just yap, yap,
yap, yap, yap, all day long.
Well, that's not
the vocabulary I meant.
It seems that he's taught
several of the children
the "R" word.
The "R" word?
I'm sure it's just something
he picked up off the street--
certainly not at home.
Yeah, well, "R" you, lady.
So, this is
going well, right?
It's pretty much
everything I expected.
So, you ready, Malcolm?
I mean, you're all set, right?
Sure.
Good.
I'm... ready.
Thanks for... asking.
You know what's so great
about our relationship?
It just still feels so fresh,
you know what I mean?
Totally.
All right,
take it away.
I need two burgers
and a dog, Hal.
Coming up.
Dewey?
Thank you, sir.
All right.
Thank you.
What have I told you
about raw meat, son?
I'm not.
Dad, I want you
to meet someone.
This is Jody.
Hi.
Oh, it's so great
to finally meet you.
Francis talks about you
all the time.
Oh, yeah?
You, too.
I'm so glad
that went well.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give to you
the Nixon electromagnet.
This is going dreadfully.
Am I wrong?
Please tell me I'm wrong.
Excuse me.
For what?
This is it.
You're almost... up.
Stop reminding me.
Nervous?
No, I just don't want
to do this.
Don't you ever get sick
of being a Krelboyne?
Of people thinking
you're some kind of freak?
You are...
what you are.
Accept it.
Not without a fight.
You're harshing... my buzz.
Don't let... anyone...
mess with... my stuff.
You know, in the wrong hands,
these chemicals can make
a pretty powerful stink bomb.
These hands look wrong enough.
And this field trip to
the historic ghost town,
I think we all know
what that leads to--
the occult, devil worship,
state colleges.
So, then, it's agreed
that the trip
will be canceled.
Wait a minute--
you can't decide that.
You didn't even vote.
I was only going
by the general tone
of the group.
General tone?
I haven't heard a peep
out of any of these
other women all day.
What, you all agree
with what Mrs. Control
Freak here is saying?
Well...
Phyllis!
My name isn't Phyllis!
And... no,
I don't feel that way.
- I don't either!
- I never liked...
My husband told me
I should stand up to you
after I came home from
that bake sale in tears.
My soy burger...
it's bleeding!
This is meat!
We're eating meat!
Oh, my God!
We're eating meat!
Get out of the way!
Come here!
Okay, the difference
between a stink bomb
and a level-three
toxic biohazard
is apparently two extra drops
of sulfur tetra-oxide.
I'm totally suing that Web site.
I didn't do it!
I didn't do it!
Where are you, honey?
I want... our seat.
I'm kind of conflicted.
On the one hand,
I ruined Caroline's picnic
and very possibly endangered
a hundred lives.
On the other hand,
now I don't have to do my act.
Did you miss me?
Mm-hmm.
So who was that girl with
her hands all over you?
What girl, the paramedic?
She was making sure
I didn't inhale any toxic fumes.
Oh, I'm sure you loved
every moment of it.
God, would you
quit nagging me?
Well, maybe if you paid a little
more attention to me.
More attention?
You're smothering me.
I need space.
Oh, you'll get your space.
We're through.
Fine by me.
Here's the school
ring you gave me.
The teddy bear key chain.
Your shirt.
Your two poems.
The book you lent me.
Your Depeche Mode tape!
Oh, and here's your gum.
I love Krelboynes.
And I swear,
I'm not just saying that.
Why would I?
Nice hang time.
Well, it's really
a simple function
of the tensile strength
of the elastic waistband.
I brought you a hamburger.
This should
make us even, right?
Thank you.
Is this meat?
Uh, it might be.
Look what I've been reduced to.
Okay, well, um...
I'm going to...
Oh, Malcolm, I'm so sorry.
Huh?
I know how much
you were looking forward
to doing your act...
especially
with your family here.
I failed you.
No, you didn't.
Yes, I did.
After today, they're going
to fire my ass so fast.
My parents were right.
I never should have left
the cannery.
Want another hamburger?
Yes!
I do. I do.
I really do.
Can you believe it? Meat.
I don't know about you,
but I'm outraged.
I want you to know
that I am going to see to it
that you never serve
on a school committee,
hold an office or even
so much as set foot
in a PTA meeting
as long as I can help it.
Is that a promise, lady?
'Cause I'd really like
to get that in writing.
I should have expected as much
from the mother
of a foul-mouth thug.
What he's even doing
in this class, I don't know.
Oh, I see you
made a friend.
Yeah. Tomorrow we're going
shopping for shoes.
Oh.
Academic circus?
Well, you certainly got
the circus part right.
This is the biggest
debacle I've ever seen.
I guarantee you
Principal Littledove
is going to hear
about this.
Exactly.
He sure will,
from all of us.
Can I ask you
a question?
Yes. All women suck.
No, I mean...
you'd still like me
even if you found out
I was a freak, right?
And the family wouldn't treat me
any different, right?
Dude, we already
know you're smart.
Yeah, but...
Never mind.
Just don't say I
didn't warn you.
Look, it's Malcolm!
Hey, hey,
Malcolm's going to do it, guys!
The PTA is
online, missy.
Are you aware of the
power of the Internet?
Hey, everyone, look!
Look, Malcolm's doing it.
He's doing it.
Hey, shut the hell up!
Um...
could somebody please
show me some credit cards?
Okay.
The numbers on them are:
3699-7412-6823-
9140 and... 3424-
1804-1835-3668.
He's right!
Okay.
If you add the individual
digits on each card,
you get 74 and 66.
If you multiply those numbers,
you get 4,884.
How do we even know
he's right?
Oh, he's right.
4,884 squared
is 23,853,456.
The square root
of 4,884
is 69 and 885/1,000.
The square root of that
is eight and 3,597/10,000.
Factor it!
The factors are 232 and 73.
Multiply it by pi.
26 and 261/1,000.
Cube it!
584 and 214/1,000.
What's the arc tangent?
89 and 9/10 degrees.
Natural log!
6 and 3,699/10,000.
What's the reciprocal?
17/10,000.
In base eight!
11,431.
What's the capitol
of Iceland?
Reykjavik--
but that's not math.
Why can't you do that?
Cellular mitosis.
What are we paying
your tutor for?
Do you have
any brothers?
No.
Hey.
Hi.
So, um... how you been?
Fine.
You look good.
Yes, it was.
It was a
wonderful circus.
So many people
were worried...
Was it as bad as
I think it was?
Man... you killed.
That's what I
was afraid of.
Sorry you didn't
get to do your act.
Shove... the sympathy...
showboat.
He fell on his butt
and everything.
He was just, like, dazed.
Is Malcolm a robot?
No, son, he's just smart.
Very, very,
very, very, very,
very smart.
Hey, Malcolm...
How many fingers
am I holding up?
Shut up.
Analyze what I had for lunch.
Get off me, you moron.
You know what
I don't understand?
How you can rattle off
all those numbers,
but you can't remember
to brush your teeth.
Hey, who's for
Burger Barn?
Burger Barn!
Burger Barn!
Burger Barn!