Malcolm in the Middle (2000–2006): Season 1, Episode 7 - Francis Escapes - full transcript
Francis bails from military school in a desperate attempt to visit his stupid girlfriend.
Everybody up!
Let's go! Let's go!
I got to do laundry before work!
I am taking breakfast
off the table
in five minutes!
I know this kid...
his mom wakes him up
with a kiss on the forehead.
♪ Yes, no, maybe ♪
♪ I don't know ♪
♪ Can you repeat the question? ♪
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
♪ And you're not so big ♪
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
♪ And you're not so big ♪
♪ Life is unfair. ♪
Okay, I've been up
for half an hour.
I've had my cereal.
It's time for Mom to ask
the same annoying question
she asks me every morning.
So, Malcolm,
what are you doing
in your genius
class today?
Nothing. It's just
as dumb and boring
as being in regular class,
except now I get ostracized.
Ostracized? Oh, you're
learning such big words.
Hey.
They want to know what I think
about caller I.D. blocking.
Do I think about that?
Oh!
What?
Nothing. Just a sharp Cheerio.
Oh!
Ha! $210!
Look at all the calls
that Francis is charging to us.
60 minutes. Oh!
Oh, 80 minutes--
and every one
of these calls is to Beebee.
$210 on Beebee!
I know. Now, honey,
just try to understand,
all right?
He's-he's off in Alabama.
He's all by himself
at military school.
He's lonely, so... so he calls
his little girlfriend.
She's a tramp.
No one's saying
she's not a tramp.
I thought you changed
our code number.
I have, three times.
I-I don't know
how he's getting it.
65519.
That'll be good till
the bill comes on the 15th.
Thanks, man.
You are a good brother.
I was taking money
out of her wallet anyway.
He is doing this
just to upset me.
Oh, come on, Lois.
He's 16
and thinks he's in love.
What are you going to do?
Oh, man, never ask her that.
Beebee, you can't imagine
how much I miss you.
It is like a white-hot fire
burning in my chest.
The only thing
that keeps me going
is just the thought
of holding you
and stroking your hair
and being with you
in a perfect, golden moment.
Oh, yeah.
I'm totally the same way.
Oh, I'm just so...
Are you watching Buffy?
I can do both.
You know, I think of things,
too, like...
no, it's too embarrassing.
Tell me.
It's not the kind of thing
you can say over the phone.
It's something
I'd have to show you.
Beebee, I think
it would be better
if you told me
and then you showed me.
Stanley, what are you doing?!
That was Beebee!
Sorry, man.
Commandant says
your phone privileges
have been revoked
for a month.
Your mom complained
about the bills.
Okay, let me just tell her...
Francis, do you remember
the thumb thing?
The one you did to my thumb
or the one you did
with your thumb?
Hello.
Malcolm! Thank God.
Look, I don't have any more
quarters, so just listen.
I need you
to swipe Mom's credit card
and I need you
to buy me a cell phone.
Now, what you want to get is
the unlimited off-peak plan,
and then FedEx it to me.
Francis, no. I can't do that.
What?
Dude, don't bail on me.
I'm sorry, but Mom
is totally on the warpath
about the phone calls.
Her radar is up. I can't do
anything.
Seriously, you just got
to find a way to live
without calling Beebee
all the time.
Hello?
Hello?
He understands, right?
Dearest Beebee, something
wonderful has happened.
The pain and confusion
of the last few months
has disappeared,
replaced by a single
glorious purpose.
From the ashes of the old
Francis rises a new man,
filled with boldness
and determination.
I fly to you on angel's wings,
knowing I follow
the mandate of my heart.
Every night
for the past two weeks,
he thinks there's a monster
under the bed.
It seemed so funny
when we thought of it.
Oh, sweetie, not again.
The monster!
It tried to suck
my brain out!
All right, I have had it.
You two are banned
from Nintendo.
Okay.
We're already banned
from Nintendo.
The sad thing is he thinks
he just outsmarted her.
All right, fine.
Pillows.
What?
That's right.
I'm taking your pillows.
Come on, come on, hand 'em over.
And I'm not getting up again.
If that monster wants
to suck out your brain,
you just let him take it
and you go back to sleep.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Hello?
Don't scream.
It's me.
Francis!
Way to go, dipwad.
You got me in the nards.
Francis, what are you
doing here?
I'm taking control
of my own destiny.
I'm just here to pick up
Beebee, and then we're
going to head off for Canada.
You're going to visit Grandma?
No, a different part of Canada.
Someplace wild where people
don't have to destroy love
just 'cause they don't
understand it.
You just ran away from school?
Mom's really going
to kill you now.
No, she won't,
because she won't know.
Malcolm, you can't
tell anybody.
I'm placing my life
in your hands here.
Did you roll around
in something?
You'll get used to it.
Look, I need you
to get Beebee
to come see me
tonight, okay?
Give her this.
Let it air out
for a while first.
Try to get me some food,
'cause I haven't eaten
in, like, 36 hours.
Francis, this sounds kind
of drastic, even for you.
Malcolm, I do not have
time for doubt!
The die has been cast,
my future is set.
Now, there's one
question in my mind:
can I trust you?
But...
Can I trust you?
Yes.
Yeah, definitely.
I'll toss my lunch bag
over the fence before school.
Oh!
Mmm!
Can I have some?
Can't.
It's a...
prescription... sandwich.
"Prescription sandwich"?
Stevie, that's not
even a good lie.
If you don't want to
share, just say so.
Don't want...
to share.
Let's play
Ironside.
I'll be... Ironside.
I don't want to play
stupid Ironside.
What's your... problem?
It's my brother Francis.
He escaped from
military school
and hitchhiked
all the way here.
And he's all scraped up and
smelly and hungry and dirty,
and now he's hiding
out at the creek.
If my parents catch
him, he's dead.
He's talking like
he's crazy.
I don't know what to do.
Squeal.
What?
Squeal.
Rat him out.
I can't do that.
He's my brother.
I promised him.
I can't tell anybody.
You told... me.
Yeah, but by the time
you tell anyone,
he'll be a thousand
miles from here.
Tou... ché.
Beebee?
What?
Oh, you're, uh, that kid.
My name's Malcolm.
I'm Francis's brother.
You met me, like,
ten times.
Yeah, you're the freaky
little brain, right?
Just be cool.
What do you want?
Here.
Francis is back home.
Well, he's not home.
He's hiding.
Huh. Three pages?
Both sides.
He loves to make me read.
What's that word?
"Consummate."
It means he likes you.
Oh.
"Assignation,
rendezvous, tryst"?
How the hell is anyone supposed
to know what he's talking about?
Beebee, just meet him at
the creek at 7:30, okay?
See? You can say it in English,
and you're, like, ten.
What are you doing?!
I'm wearing a tank top.
Beebee, I don't...
Don't think.
Just walk. Go.
The worst part is, I think
I'm stealing panty liners.
Gosh, I had such
a good day at work today.
I got to work
the cash-only line
for the first time
in a month,
and my register
came out to the penny.
Plus, that creepy new
assistant manager
sliced his hand open
with a box cutter.
Spent the whole afternoon
in the emergency room.
Here's to him.
Honey, this chicken
is absolutely delicious.
Oh, well, it's a little recipe
I came up with.
It's Shake n' Bake--
but for pork.
How about that?
That's one for the recipe box.
Let's call it, uh, "chork."
All in favor?
No one for "picken"?
Chork it is.
Brava.
Oh, cut it out.
You big talker.
Will this make me
taste better to the monsters?
Sure it will, son.
Get out of here!
You're not eating it.
You haven't had a bite in
two minutes, I counted.
I'm saving it.
There is no saving.
Malcolm, he's right.
The rule is: no saving.
Oh, yeah, I care.
Cut it out!
Come on, it's mine.
Get out of here!
No!
Give it back!
Boys, boys, stop it.
You're going get
your mother out of...
uh, you're going to ruin
her nice day.
Francis did what?!
Another night in the chat room.
That kid! That kid!
He thinks he can just
run away from school
like some-some kind
of escaped convict?
Well, if he thinks
he can just vanish
in the night
and I won't find him,
well, he is sadly mistaken.
Lois, you just calm down.
There's nothing
we can do right now.
Yes, there is.
I can call the police.
No, they're not going
to look for anybody
unless they've been missing
for 48 hours.
Not if I say he has
drugs on him.
Lois, stop it.
Now, you're just going
to have to accept the fact
that for now, this is
beyond your control.
Francis is going to have
to sink or swim on his own,
and frankly, I don't think
that's such a bad thing.
And in the meantime, we just
have to leave it up to fate.
Oh. "Fate."
"Fate" is just what you call it
when you don't know the name
of the person
screwing you over!
Mom, I'm sure he's okay.
Uh-oh, tactical error.
Why do you think he's okay, son?
Because...
he's always okay.
Malcolm,
this is a very serious
situation here,
and, well, I know you love
Francis as much as we do,
so if you have
any idea...
Oh, for God's sake!
Where is he?!
He came here to see Beebee!
He's meeting her tonight!
Oh, my God,
how'd she do that?
I knew it.
When did you talk to him?
Don't look at her eyes,
don't look at her...
This morning!
And Dewey shoved a
sandwich in the VCR!
Malcolm, where is he?
Got to think.
Diversion. Delancey.
Delancey Park!
He's meeting her
at Delancey Park
by the soccer field.
Well...
we'll just see what fate
has in store for Francis.
Francis, I have
to tell you...
Is Beebee coming?
Yeah.
But I have to tell you
something first.
I ratted you out to Mom.
What?!
I didn't mean to.
Mom did... her eyes.
And her voice, it was...
I didn't mean to!
Malcolm, how could you do that?
I trusted you.
I know.
I'm sorry.
Look, I sent her to the park.
You've got an hour
to get out of here
and have a head start
before she...
Are you crazy?
I can't go anywhere.
Beebee's coming. Beebee.
Francis, what's wrong with you?
Why are you getting
in so much trouble for her?
You don't understand.
Duh! No one understands.
She's not nice,
she's not smart,
she's a thief, she's not even
that good-looking.
And, oh, guess what else.
She treats you like crap!
I know.
You do?
Of course I do.
There's something
you don't know about Beebee.
What?
That no one in her whole life
has ever loved her
the way that I do.
All she has to do is see that
and everything will change.
I really thought he had
something better.
Look, Malcolm, you'll
understand when you're older.
Now, just go.
What were you doing?
Nothing.
Mind your own business.
Who were you talking to?
I wasn't talking to anybody.
You're imagining it.
I heard you talking.
Okay, I'll tell you.
But you have to
keep it a secret.
You know the monster
under your bed?
It's called a Sasquatch.
He hunts back there
during the day.
I was throwing him
some raw meat
so he wouldn't
come get us tonight.
I don't think
I gave him enough.
So, if I were you,
I'd keep very quiet
and stay the hell out of there.
Get it?
Move!
Francis?
Beebee?
Francis?
Oh. Don't move.
I want to remember this forever.
Where are you?
No! Don't look at me!
I wanted so much
to be perfect for you,
but I couldn't find any soap.
I'm hideous.
Really?
Yes.
But it's okay.
Everything is okay
now that we're together.
I can't tell you how beautiful
you look at this moment.
You look like an angel
or a perfect dawn
or a galaxy of stars.
I don't think we should
see each other anymore.
And... my heart soars
when I think of...
Did you hear what I said?
I... um...
What?
Look...
you're a nice guy,
and all those letters you sent--
the stuff I understood, anyway--
was sweet, but I don't know.
Feels different now.
It's hard to explain.
Would you try?
Well, maybe I just like
the long-distance thing
'cause, you know,
you'd call and you'd talk
and you'd make me feel
so good about myself
and I didn't have
to do anything.
Yeah, that's it.
Beebee, please.
I just think it's better
we end it now
before anybody gets hurt.
I'm sorry, Francis.
Ow.
Ow!
Ow!
Ow!
Get out of here!
You stupid, dumb monster!
This is my house!
Ow.
Go away!
Ow!
You leave me alone!
Ow! Ow!
You! You, there!
What do you think
you're doing?
Excuse me?
Do you know how dumb
and careless you're being?
Well, I brought...
Oh, for God's sake,
I'm not talking about that.
But shame on you.
Don't you know
how this is all going to end?
Do we know you?
No, but I know you.
You're young and pretty
and you love to get
16-year-old boys so twisted up
they don't know
what they're doing.
And you think it's all in fun.
You'll move on.
You don't care
how bad you hurt him.
Let me tell you something,
young lady.
Hearts are precious things.
You should be careful with them.
You!
You there!
What do you think
you're doing?!
And then the monster
started growling at me,
so I threw rocks at him
and I killed him.
And then he started flying
around on rocket boots,
and I got to ride
inside his head,
and now the monster's my friend,
and we went...
and we went to get Slurpees.
You did not!
You're just lying!
Reese, if that's what
Dewey says happened,
there's no reason
to argue about it.
No one believes I beat the
last level of Mortal Kombat.
Because that's just ridiculous.
No one beats Sub-Zero.
Leave it off.
So, Beebee broke up with me.
Oh.
You okay?
I think I'm fine.
There's a strange sense
of peace that comes over you
when you give up
that last shred of dignity.
It's nice.
I'm really sorry.
Well, if you're going
to love women,
you have to expect
the occasional flaming wipeout.
It's in the fine print,
but you agree to it
when you sign up.
So what are you
going to do?
I'm going to go
back to school.
I only missed a day,
so it shouldn't be too bad.
There's a pack of farm girls
that hang around
outside the fence.
Probably check that out.
Later days.
Wait.
I'm sorry I ratted you out.
I just got scared.
Dude, it's ancient history.
Don't worry about it.
Well, can't you at least
hit me or something,
just so I feel like we're even?
You want me to hit you?
I don't know. Yeah.
Okay.
Thanks.
Psych.
Ow!
Now we're even.
Ow!
♪ Don't cry ♪
♪ Dry those tears falling
out of your eyes ♪
♪ Don't cry... ♪
How'd you find me?
Malcolm told me.
You know, you should
probably rethink the whole
"trusting him with
secrets" thing.
How mad is Mom?
Well, let's just try to get
a couple states behind us
before we ask her.
So, how'd it go
with Beebee?
We broke up.
Does it hurt?
Oh, yeah.
Well, son...
you know, I wish I could
say it gets easier,
but... I honestly
don't know.
I've never been dumped.
Hmm.
♪ Don't cry. ♪
Let's go! Let's go!
I got to do laundry before work!
I am taking breakfast
off the table
in five minutes!
I know this kid...
his mom wakes him up
with a kiss on the forehead.
♪ Yes, no, maybe ♪
♪ I don't know ♪
♪ Can you repeat the question? ♪
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
♪ And you're not so big ♪
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
♪ And you're not so big ♪
♪ Life is unfair. ♪
Okay, I've been up
for half an hour.
I've had my cereal.
It's time for Mom to ask
the same annoying question
she asks me every morning.
So, Malcolm,
what are you doing
in your genius
class today?
Nothing. It's just
as dumb and boring
as being in regular class,
except now I get ostracized.
Ostracized? Oh, you're
learning such big words.
Hey.
They want to know what I think
about caller I.D. blocking.
Do I think about that?
Oh!
What?
Nothing. Just a sharp Cheerio.
Oh!
Ha! $210!
Look at all the calls
that Francis is charging to us.
60 minutes. Oh!
Oh, 80 minutes--
and every one
of these calls is to Beebee.
$210 on Beebee!
I know. Now, honey,
just try to understand,
all right?
He's-he's off in Alabama.
He's all by himself
at military school.
He's lonely, so... so he calls
his little girlfriend.
She's a tramp.
No one's saying
she's not a tramp.
I thought you changed
our code number.
I have, three times.
I-I don't know
how he's getting it.
65519.
That'll be good till
the bill comes on the 15th.
Thanks, man.
You are a good brother.
I was taking money
out of her wallet anyway.
He is doing this
just to upset me.
Oh, come on, Lois.
He's 16
and thinks he's in love.
What are you going to do?
Oh, man, never ask her that.
Beebee, you can't imagine
how much I miss you.
It is like a white-hot fire
burning in my chest.
The only thing
that keeps me going
is just the thought
of holding you
and stroking your hair
and being with you
in a perfect, golden moment.
Oh, yeah.
I'm totally the same way.
Oh, I'm just so...
Are you watching Buffy?
I can do both.
You know, I think of things,
too, like...
no, it's too embarrassing.
Tell me.
It's not the kind of thing
you can say over the phone.
It's something
I'd have to show you.
Beebee, I think
it would be better
if you told me
and then you showed me.
Stanley, what are you doing?!
That was Beebee!
Sorry, man.
Commandant says
your phone privileges
have been revoked
for a month.
Your mom complained
about the bills.
Okay, let me just tell her...
Francis, do you remember
the thumb thing?
The one you did to my thumb
or the one you did
with your thumb?
Hello.
Malcolm! Thank God.
Look, I don't have any more
quarters, so just listen.
I need you
to swipe Mom's credit card
and I need you
to buy me a cell phone.
Now, what you want to get is
the unlimited off-peak plan,
and then FedEx it to me.
Francis, no. I can't do that.
What?
Dude, don't bail on me.
I'm sorry, but Mom
is totally on the warpath
about the phone calls.
Her radar is up. I can't do
anything.
Seriously, you just got
to find a way to live
without calling Beebee
all the time.
Hello?
Hello?
He understands, right?
Dearest Beebee, something
wonderful has happened.
The pain and confusion
of the last few months
has disappeared,
replaced by a single
glorious purpose.
From the ashes of the old
Francis rises a new man,
filled with boldness
and determination.
I fly to you on angel's wings,
knowing I follow
the mandate of my heart.
Every night
for the past two weeks,
he thinks there's a monster
under the bed.
It seemed so funny
when we thought of it.
Oh, sweetie, not again.
The monster!
It tried to suck
my brain out!
All right, I have had it.
You two are banned
from Nintendo.
Okay.
We're already banned
from Nintendo.
The sad thing is he thinks
he just outsmarted her.
All right, fine.
Pillows.
What?
That's right.
I'm taking your pillows.
Come on, come on, hand 'em over.
And I'm not getting up again.
If that monster wants
to suck out your brain,
you just let him take it
and you go back to sleep.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Hello?
Don't scream.
It's me.
Francis!
Way to go, dipwad.
You got me in the nards.
Francis, what are you
doing here?
I'm taking control
of my own destiny.
I'm just here to pick up
Beebee, and then we're
going to head off for Canada.
You're going to visit Grandma?
No, a different part of Canada.
Someplace wild where people
don't have to destroy love
just 'cause they don't
understand it.
You just ran away from school?
Mom's really going
to kill you now.
No, she won't,
because she won't know.
Malcolm, you can't
tell anybody.
I'm placing my life
in your hands here.
Did you roll around
in something?
You'll get used to it.
Look, I need you
to get Beebee
to come see me
tonight, okay?
Give her this.
Let it air out
for a while first.
Try to get me some food,
'cause I haven't eaten
in, like, 36 hours.
Francis, this sounds kind
of drastic, even for you.
Malcolm, I do not have
time for doubt!
The die has been cast,
my future is set.
Now, there's one
question in my mind:
can I trust you?
But...
Can I trust you?
Yes.
Yeah, definitely.
I'll toss my lunch bag
over the fence before school.
Oh!
Mmm!
Can I have some?
Can't.
It's a...
prescription... sandwich.
"Prescription sandwich"?
Stevie, that's not
even a good lie.
If you don't want to
share, just say so.
Don't want...
to share.
Let's play
Ironside.
I'll be... Ironside.
I don't want to play
stupid Ironside.
What's your... problem?
It's my brother Francis.
He escaped from
military school
and hitchhiked
all the way here.
And he's all scraped up and
smelly and hungry and dirty,
and now he's hiding
out at the creek.
If my parents catch
him, he's dead.
He's talking like
he's crazy.
I don't know what to do.
Squeal.
What?
Squeal.
Rat him out.
I can't do that.
He's my brother.
I promised him.
I can't tell anybody.
You told... me.
Yeah, but by the time
you tell anyone,
he'll be a thousand
miles from here.
Tou... ché.
Beebee?
What?
Oh, you're, uh, that kid.
My name's Malcolm.
I'm Francis's brother.
You met me, like,
ten times.
Yeah, you're the freaky
little brain, right?
Just be cool.
What do you want?
Here.
Francis is back home.
Well, he's not home.
He's hiding.
Huh. Three pages?
Both sides.
He loves to make me read.
What's that word?
"Consummate."
It means he likes you.
Oh.
"Assignation,
rendezvous, tryst"?
How the hell is anyone supposed
to know what he's talking about?
Beebee, just meet him at
the creek at 7:30, okay?
See? You can say it in English,
and you're, like, ten.
What are you doing?!
I'm wearing a tank top.
Beebee, I don't...
Don't think.
Just walk. Go.
The worst part is, I think
I'm stealing panty liners.
Gosh, I had such
a good day at work today.
I got to work
the cash-only line
for the first time
in a month,
and my register
came out to the penny.
Plus, that creepy new
assistant manager
sliced his hand open
with a box cutter.
Spent the whole afternoon
in the emergency room.
Here's to him.
Honey, this chicken
is absolutely delicious.
Oh, well, it's a little recipe
I came up with.
It's Shake n' Bake--
but for pork.
How about that?
That's one for the recipe box.
Let's call it, uh, "chork."
All in favor?
No one for "picken"?
Chork it is.
Brava.
Oh, cut it out.
You big talker.
Will this make me
taste better to the monsters?
Sure it will, son.
Get out of here!
You're not eating it.
You haven't had a bite in
two minutes, I counted.
I'm saving it.
There is no saving.
Malcolm, he's right.
The rule is: no saving.
Oh, yeah, I care.
Cut it out!
Come on, it's mine.
Get out of here!
No!
Give it back!
Boys, boys, stop it.
You're going get
your mother out of...
uh, you're going to ruin
her nice day.
Francis did what?!
Another night in the chat room.
That kid! That kid!
He thinks he can just
run away from school
like some-some kind
of escaped convict?
Well, if he thinks
he can just vanish
in the night
and I won't find him,
well, he is sadly mistaken.
Lois, you just calm down.
There's nothing
we can do right now.
Yes, there is.
I can call the police.
No, they're not going
to look for anybody
unless they've been missing
for 48 hours.
Not if I say he has
drugs on him.
Lois, stop it.
Now, you're just going
to have to accept the fact
that for now, this is
beyond your control.
Francis is going to have
to sink or swim on his own,
and frankly, I don't think
that's such a bad thing.
And in the meantime, we just
have to leave it up to fate.
Oh. "Fate."
"Fate" is just what you call it
when you don't know the name
of the person
screwing you over!
Mom, I'm sure he's okay.
Uh-oh, tactical error.
Why do you think he's okay, son?
Because...
he's always okay.
Malcolm,
this is a very serious
situation here,
and, well, I know you love
Francis as much as we do,
so if you have
any idea...
Oh, for God's sake!
Where is he?!
He came here to see Beebee!
He's meeting her tonight!
Oh, my God,
how'd she do that?
I knew it.
When did you talk to him?
Don't look at her eyes,
don't look at her...
This morning!
And Dewey shoved a
sandwich in the VCR!
Malcolm, where is he?
Got to think.
Diversion. Delancey.
Delancey Park!
He's meeting her
at Delancey Park
by the soccer field.
Well...
we'll just see what fate
has in store for Francis.
Francis, I have
to tell you...
Is Beebee coming?
Yeah.
But I have to tell you
something first.
I ratted you out to Mom.
What?!
I didn't mean to.
Mom did... her eyes.
And her voice, it was...
I didn't mean to!
Malcolm, how could you do that?
I trusted you.
I know.
I'm sorry.
Look, I sent her to the park.
You've got an hour
to get out of here
and have a head start
before she...
Are you crazy?
I can't go anywhere.
Beebee's coming. Beebee.
Francis, what's wrong with you?
Why are you getting
in so much trouble for her?
You don't understand.
Duh! No one understands.
She's not nice,
she's not smart,
she's a thief, she's not even
that good-looking.
And, oh, guess what else.
She treats you like crap!
I know.
You do?
Of course I do.
There's something
you don't know about Beebee.
What?
That no one in her whole life
has ever loved her
the way that I do.
All she has to do is see that
and everything will change.
I really thought he had
something better.
Look, Malcolm, you'll
understand when you're older.
Now, just go.
What were you doing?
Nothing.
Mind your own business.
Who were you talking to?
I wasn't talking to anybody.
You're imagining it.
I heard you talking.
Okay, I'll tell you.
But you have to
keep it a secret.
You know the monster
under your bed?
It's called a Sasquatch.
He hunts back there
during the day.
I was throwing him
some raw meat
so he wouldn't
come get us tonight.
I don't think
I gave him enough.
So, if I were you,
I'd keep very quiet
and stay the hell out of there.
Get it?
Move!
Francis?
Beebee?
Francis?
Oh. Don't move.
I want to remember this forever.
Where are you?
No! Don't look at me!
I wanted so much
to be perfect for you,
but I couldn't find any soap.
I'm hideous.
Really?
Yes.
But it's okay.
Everything is okay
now that we're together.
I can't tell you how beautiful
you look at this moment.
You look like an angel
or a perfect dawn
or a galaxy of stars.
I don't think we should
see each other anymore.
And... my heart soars
when I think of...
Did you hear what I said?
I... um...
What?
Look...
you're a nice guy,
and all those letters you sent--
the stuff I understood, anyway--
was sweet, but I don't know.
Feels different now.
It's hard to explain.
Would you try?
Well, maybe I just like
the long-distance thing
'cause, you know,
you'd call and you'd talk
and you'd make me feel
so good about myself
and I didn't have
to do anything.
Yeah, that's it.
Beebee, please.
I just think it's better
we end it now
before anybody gets hurt.
I'm sorry, Francis.
Ow.
Ow!
Ow!
Ow!
Get out of here!
You stupid, dumb monster!
This is my house!
Ow.
Go away!
Ow!
You leave me alone!
Ow! Ow!
You! You, there!
What do you think
you're doing?
Excuse me?
Do you know how dumb
and careless you're being?
Well, I brought...
Oh, for God's sake,
I'm not talking about that.
But shame on you.
Don't you know
how this is all going to end?
Do we know you?
No, but I know you.
You're young and pretty
and you love to get
16-year-old boys so twisted up
they don't know
what they're doing.
And you think it's all in fun.
You'll move on.
You don't care
how bad you hurt him.
Let me tell you something,
young lady.
Hearts are precious things.
You should be careful with them.
You!
You there!
What do you think
you're doing?!
And then the monster
started growling at me,
so I threw rocks at him
and I killed him.
And then he started flying
around on rocket boots,
and I got to ride
inside his head,
and now the monster's my friend,
and we went...
and we went to get Slurpees.
You did not!
You're just lying!
Reese, if that's what
Dewey says happened,
there's no reason
to argue about it.
No one believes I beat the
last level of Mortal Kombat.
Because that's just ridiculous.
No one beats Sub-Zero.
Leave it off.
So, Beebee broke up with me.
Oh.
You okay?
I think I'm fine.
There's a strange sense
of peace that comes over you
when you give up
that last shred of dignity.
It's nice.
I'm really sorry.
Well, if you're going
to love women,
you have to expect
the occasional flaming wipeout.
It's in the fine print,
but you agree to it
when you sign up.
So what are you
going to do?
I'm going to go
back to school.
I only missed a day,
so it shouldn't be too bad.
There's a pack of farm girls
that hang around
outside the fence.
Probably check that out.
Later days.
Wait.
I'm sorry I ratted you out.
I just got scared.
Dude, it's ancient history.
Don't worry about it.
Well, can't you at least
hit me or something,
just so I feel like we're even?
You want me to hit you?
I don't know. Yeah.
Okay.
Thanks.
Psych.
Ow!
Now we're even.
Ow!
♪ Don't cry ♪
♪ Dry those tears falling
out of your eyes ♪
♪ Don't cry... ♪
How'd you find me?
Malcolm told me.
You know, you should
probably rethink the whole
"trusting him with
secrets" thing.
How mad is Mom?
Well, let's just try to get
a couple states behind us
before we ask her.
So, how'd it go
with Beebee?
We broke up.
Does it hurt?
Oh, yeah.
Well, son...
you know, I wish I could
say it gets easier,
but... I honestly
don't know.
I've never been dumped.
Hmm.
♪ Don't cry. ♪