Magic for Humans (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 4 - We Should Talk - full transcript
[birds tweeting]
- [Justin] You guys friends online?
- Yeah!
Have you ever had to block anybody online?
- Yes.
- Why?
Um...
Annoying garbage.
Yes, like just trash posts.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Do you ever wish you could block
someone in real life?
- Yes.
- Yes, for sure.
That's what this is for.
I'll show you.
Would you get in?
- I'd rather not.
- [woman giggles]
Would you get in? Real quick.
Yeah, just stand here.
- Check this out.
- Okay.
Watch...
blocked! Right?
Sometimes, though, blocking them
isn't enough
if the person is super annoying you
have to...
delete them.
[woman chuckles]
[laughs softly]
No.
[theme song playing]
[Justin] Technology's given us some pretty
amazing ways to communicate.
[Justin] Are you going to crawl?
[Woman] Are you a crawling man?
[Justin] There are drawbacks though.
In my line of work, I find the best way
to get my message across,
is good old-fashioned
face-to-face talking.
Want to see a trick?
Yeah, I'd love to.
- If this goes well, this could be big.
- Alright.
Make a big splash.
People love watching good magic.
You know?
Those kind of things really generate
a lot of buzz.
The Greats, Copperfield, Houdini,
they're in a league of their own.
I'm going to give you some instructions.
Listen very carefully.
Think of any celebrity.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Saving that thought in your mind.
- Keep it private from me.
- Okay.
Because I'm going to try and figure out
who you're thinking of. OK?
[pen scratching]
Okay. I'm locked in.
For the first time, who were you
thinking of?
Tom Hanks. Oh ****.
Yes!
I can read you like a book.
[Justin] I did this for a variety of
people,
but did not get a variety of results.
Tom Hanks.
- Yeah!
- [woman laughs]
Tom Hanks.
Dang! Wow!
- No freaking way!
- [both laugh]
You jerk!
Wow.
Everyone said Tom Hanks.
What are the odds?
Pretty good, actually, when you use
subliminal messaging.
It turns out a few well-placed references
to Tom Hanks movies
can fly right under the radar.
Let's watch that again.
- Do you want to see a trick?
- I'd love to.
If this goes well, this could be big,
make a big splash.
The Greats, Copperfield, Houdini,
they're in a league of their own.
I'm going to give you some instructions.
Think of any celebrity.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Saving that thought in your mind.
- Keep it private from me.
- Okay.
Because I'm going to Ryan figure out
who you're thinking of.
- What's that thing you do for a living?
- I'm a pharmacist.
Pharmacist. Oh, fun!
And if you want to see a live show,
you can catch me if you can on tour.
...from Philadelphia all the way
to Seattle.
I sleep less and less every time
I hit the road.
People love watching good magic.
You know?
Those kind of things really Jenny-rate
a lot of Buzz.
[phone chimes]
I got mail.
It's my wife.
She wants me to get some toys. Alright.
Story of my life. Too late!
Too late!
Aww!
It's getting a little woody today.
I should've worn my DaVinci Code.
This isn't cold.
I'm going to give you some instructions.
Wilson very carefully.
Wilson very closely.
Wilson! Wilson! Wilson! Wilson! Wilson!
Have you ever done that?
- It loosens up the ink.
- Sure.
Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks.
I want you to think of any celebrity.
[Justin] Subliminal messaging does
not work in every situation.
I've had some bad roommates
over the years who did not get the hint.
I've learned that sometimes the best way
to confront a crappy roommate
is to be crappy back at them.
So I found a group of college students
who clearly need my help.
She did not do anything.
She was abnormally close with her brother.
One time, I lived in a room with a guy
that just had a jerking off problem.
[all laughing]
Who's had roommates
whose romantic life
becomes a little too part of your life?
Yeah?
Yeah. She has been
dating this guy and...
- [sexy saxophone music]
- I hear noises.
And...
that's putting it very lightly.
And I just can't be near that.
Sex is the most uncomfortable thing
to confront a roommate about.
You could try this if you want.
- Safe sex is...
- ...good sex.
The only sex.
True.
[laugh]
Here's one way to send the hint:
just take one of their condoms and...
♪ Hallelujah! ♪
put a pope on it.
♪ Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! ♪
[group laugh]
For all our catholic roommates.
[laughing]
Grab me one of the espresso cans.
- Wow.
- Wow.
Geez.
Tell me about your roommate troubles.
He would stay up all night blasting
Steely Dan. I never got any sleep.
I had a roommate who was also up all night
and then would sleep all day.
And get pissed at me for making noise
like a normal person.
You just take one of those
Double Shots and... [honk]
- Oh!
- Oh my God!
What the **** just happened?
Must be magic or something.
Worst roommate you ever had?
For an entire semester, we just
communicated using sticky notes.
Here.
See, the problem with Post-It notes:
it's very easy for your roommate
just to pretend like they didn't see it.
That's why I think you have to make
your message a little more permanent.
Oh, boy.
- Can I see your arm?
- Okay.
- [man giggles]
- Oh-oh...
Is this going to sting?
Ow!
Here's how to make this more permanent.
[giggle]
- Oh!
- What?
- Oh!
- Oh my God!
- You suck!
- Definitely.
You two live together currently?
- Yeah.
- We do.
If you had one complaint with him
as a roommate,
what would it be?
- Yeah, I'd like to see.
- I would like to know.
Every single time I go into the pantry,
my peanut butter is just... lower.
Okay.
So what I do,
is take the peanut butter,
put it back in the pantry,
and use a little bit of magic. So if your
roommate tries to sneak a bite...
it's a rat.
- Oh! That's a live rat!
- [group gasp]
[scream]
Do not let him out.
So cute.
[all speaking over one another]
Not a fan?
- What's your name?
- Susan.
That's really convenient because...
it's time for Magic for Susans.
[voices] Magic for Susans!
[applause]
- Susan?
- Yes.
It's a butter knife going through a...
- card box.
- Yes, it is.
Would you pull that knife out?
Wow! I'm impressed you were able
to do that because,
open your hand up,
- it's a block of steel.
- Whoa!
[Susan laughs]
What?!
Wow. You're good.
[voices] Magic for Susans!
[applause]
[Justin] When I was a kid, I took
Norwegian language classes for six years.
I don't remember a single word.
I barely remember my English words.
It's easy to make someone believe...
it's easy to make or...
And I believed in the Tooth...
Because there were...
Because they...****!
[Justin] Learning a new language
as an adult is hard.
Yet immigrants coming to America take
English as a second language classes,
so they can better communicate
with idiots like me.
I popped into an ESL class
to get inspired.
So guys, if you didn't notice we have
somebody visiting today. This is Justin.
- Can you guys give him a welcome?
- Hey!
[class clapping]
So, I'm happy to be here because English
is also my second language.
My first language, of course, magic.
Woo! Magic!
I'm going to borrow...
uh...
this tablet, yes.
- That was not the magic.
- [class laughing]
I have discovered something,
that gives you the magical ability
to learn any language:
the Rosetta Stone.
[otherworldly magical music]
We're all familiar with the Rosetta Stone,
right?
Now, of course, this isn't the real
Rosetta Stone.
- Wow!
- This...
is the actual...
Rosetta Stone.
How'd you do that?
Oh, this is real!
[class giggling]
When I was a kid, we played a game
called "Telephone".
- Do you know the game, "Telephone"?
- Oh, yes.
Have you guys ever played
the game, "Telephone"? Okay.
So I thought today we could play a magic
version of the game, "Telephone"
using of course our magic Rosetta Stone.
Alright.
Everybody get into a big "U" for me.
Okay. Good. Great. Great. Great.
Okay, so here's how this game
of "Telephone's" going to work:
You're going to find a phrase
in this phrase book.
You're going to memorize it.
I'm going to give you the Rosetta Stone.
You're going to pass the Rosetta Stone
and whisper that phrase into his ear,
and then you'll pass the Rosetta Stone,
whispering the phrase,
and the phrase will just whisper
its way around like a game of "Telephone"
until it gets here to the very end.
And then you're going to tell us
what that phrase is. Okay?
Now, I've made a prediction
of what I think that phrase will be
at the end.
And I placed it inside this envelope.
Would you put this in your pocket?
Okay. No peeking.
- Oh!
- [class laugh]
- Are we ready to begin?
- Yes.
Okay. First, I will have you choose
a phrase. Good.
Okay, let's see.
- Okay.
- You got one?
Okay, trade you.
Okay, let us begin.
OK.
Go ahead and whisper that phrase
and pass the Stone.
- Are you ready?
- Yeah.
[whisper] Stab someone in the back.
[class laughing in excitement]
I'm very excited.
Of 500 different,
yet very useful English phrases
that could have kicked us off,
you chose one that has made its way
all the way down the line.
Why don't you tell me?
Sam sleeping in bed.
Sam sleeping in bed.
Sam sleeping in bed.
Interesting.
Was that what it started with or no?
- Not quite.
- [class laugh]
Okay.
Okay, what did we begin with?
Stab someone in the back.
[laughing]
So close. It's so close.
Before we started, I gave you an envelope.
Would you hand me that envelope?
Inside this envelope,
I wrote a prediction
of exactly how I thought that phrase
would end up?
- Really?
- Oh my gosh.
My prediction is...
set in stone.
[class laugh]
"Sam sleeping in bed" is the final phrase?
And you're holding the Rosetta Stone?
The prediction is set in stone.
Can you turn it around to the back?
And you see how I
have something covered up?
Would you peel that away and
show everyone what it says?
[everyone gasps]
"Sam sleeping in bed" is not
just set in stone, but it is engraved.
Yeah, pass it around.
Oh my God! It's engraved.
We've got to go wake up Sam.
He missed class.
- This is his third absence, so-
- He's out.
- He's failing out.
- Yep.
[Justin] Since magic allowed me to bridge
the language barrier,
I wonder if I can use it to bridge
the species barrier.
Wendy, what do you think
I should keep in mind
as I try to wow these animals
with my wonderous tricks?
[Wendy] So I'm actually interested as well
because none of our animals
have seen any magic before.
Is there a reason you've never had
a magician here before?
- No, not really.
- Am I potentially making a huge mistake?
No, I think you're potentially making
a very good mistake.
[both laugh]
Okay, so Merlin, think of any card
in the deck.
Just think of a card. You got one?
Was it the Ace of Diamonds?
Was it the Ace of Spades, Merlin?
Don't leave. Three of Diamonds?
So if I took a grape
and I kind of one, two, three,
splatted it like that and
it happened to vanish,
lemurs would be very impressed?
You look very impressed.
I am impressed.
Okay, so watch the grape.
Yeah, right?
That's good stuff.
I don't know what he's eating over there.
Tell me if this...
does anything for you.
I feel like when I don't have grapes
they're not that into it.
Okay, Two of Spades?
King of Clubs?
Is it the Queen of Diamonds?
Queen of Clubs?
Four of Spades, Merlin?
King of Spades? Was it a Spade or Club?
You know the difference, right?
Six of Clubs?
Merlin, would you at least look at me
while I'm failing?
Alright, a little sketch comedy
magic here.
This will seem to be familiar.
Do you know what that is?
I'll make it easier.
There it is.
What does that spell?
Watermelon.
You'll like this part.
[Justin grunts, watermelon thuds]
There we go.
We've got a fan.
Yeah.
Eat my props.
Gallagher told me this would kill.
I had no idea.
Two of Diamonds?
Was it the Nine of Hearts?
- [caws]
- It was?!
Nailed it.
First try.
- What's your name?
- Biso.
Biso, you're on trick questions.
I'm going to show you a trick
and then I'm going to ask you a question.
- Alright.
- Are you ready?
Ready.
Rubber band. Check it out.
[hip-hop beat begins]
- Alright.
- Biso, this is not just any rubber band.
- Okay.
- This is an obedient rubber band.
Stop!
Whoa!
Go!
Wow!
- Ready for your question?
- Go for it.
Do you think you'll be the big spoon
or the little spoon
when you get a sex robot?
[Biso chuckles]
How is that related to the rubber band?
The big spoon.
[voices] Trick questions!
[applause]
[Justin] The printed word is perhaps
mankind's greatest achievement
in communication.
When Steve Guttenberg invented
the printing press in 1439,
it forever changed the way we share ideas.
Books give us the means to communicate
with the brilliant minds of the past.
They also give me the means to blow
the minds of people in the present.
Are you guys avid readers?
- Yes.
- I am.
As a magician, I've had a lot of free time
on my hands
and I actually have had so much free time
that I have read and memorized
every single book in this library,
- including this boring-ass book.
- [man laughs]
The dictionary. Have you read
the dictionary? Most people can't do it.
It's very loose through-line.
The book is very wordy.
But I like to think of this book
as a book of ingredients.
And every single book in this library
is made up of the ingredients.
So, to prove this memory skill, I want you
guys to branch out.
Go grab some books.
Surprise me. Choose wisely.
Grab a book you remember reading
when you were a kid.
Don't over-think it.
Make it quick.
Okay, good. Each of you choose one
of the books you brought. Drop the rest.
What do you have?
- Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities.
- Fantastic.
What do you have?
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll
and Mr. Hyde.
- Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.
- Fantastic.
Okay. I've read and memorized
each of these books.
We could just leave now
and you could believe me.
Okay, we'll stay.
Here's what I want each of you to do:
just turn to a random page in your books.
We'll start over here
with A Tale of Two Cities.
What page number are you on?
- One hundred and ninety-nine.
- Page 199.
If I recall, the first word on that page
is "I", right?
- Yes.
- Right?
- "I hear".
- Yes.
Yes. Okay.
Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,
what page number are you on?
Sixty-two.
Page 62,
I believe the first word is "when".
- Yes.
- Is that right?
First word on page 63 is "table",
I believe. Is that right?
- Yes.
- Okay.
Alice in Wonderland, what page number
are you on?
- Eighty-five.
- Page 85. The first word is...
"Although"?
Was that close?
Almost.
Forget it. We'll move on.
Turn to a new page
in A Tale of Two Cities.
One hundred and three.
Er. Was it "good for Doctor Manette"?
- Yes, it is.
- Right. "To have that...", yes?
- Yes.
- Okay.
Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,
what page are you on?
Let's go 201.
Page 201. Okay, so we're skipping ahead
a little bit.
"Every night of the year".
- Yes.
- Wow.
Check my ears. Make sure no one's talking
to me like a news anchor.
If you want, you can lick your fingers
and stick them in my ears.
- Do you want to do it?
- Okay.
[woman laughs]
- Two hundred and nine.
- "He looked hard at any shelf,
to make out
exactly what it had on it"?
Yes!
- What have you got?
- Three hundred and twenty-nine.
Is it "an hours distance
from my place of residence"?
****
[laughing]
Page 85. The first word is "altogether"?
One hundred and seventy-eight.
"By his elbows stood a...
long glass of some effervescent
beverage", yes?
Seventy-one.
"Knew the jury would have word for word".
"The rule is jam tomorrow
and jam yesterday", yes?
- Yes!
- "but never jam...
today".
- Yes!
- Wow!
I don't know! How the hell?
Is something written somewhere?
Well, that was fun. This was good.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
I mean, I will recite all of A Tale of Two
Cities to make up for that...
boo boo.
I really didn't get the word right though?
Was I close?
Almost.
It is a word inside the dictionary?
Maybe. I don't know.
It's always a word in the...
unless it's one of those strange Lewis
Carroll words.
What was the word?
"Alice".
"Alice".
- It's a name.
- Yeah.
See, "Alice" is not actually
in the dictionary.
- That's right.
- But I will put it in the dictionary.
- Oh!
- Okay, watch.
How...?
- Alice.
- What?
Whoa! Oh my!
That's freaky. I'm through.
[chuckle]
That's wild.
This is crazy! This is real stuff!
He's had to read those books
millions of times, I guess.
Or the brain of an elephant.
One of the two.
I don't know how else he could've done it.
Look at that. It says "Alice". And this
book was completely flat.
Magical!
What about "lit"? Yeah, "lit".
This is lit!
Lit.
If you take away just one thing
from this episode,
I hope it's how important communication is
to our survival as a species.
Talking to one another, exchanging ideas,
discussing our feelings:
it's what makes us human.
Who calls?
- Text me.
- [message whoosh]
Absolutely.
- [Justin] You guys friends online?
- Yeah!
Have you ever had to block anybody online?
- Yes.
- Why?
Um...
Annoying garbage.
Yes, like just trash posts.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Do you ever wish you could block
someone in real life?
- Yes.
- Yes, for sure.
That's what this is for.
I'll show you.
Would you get in?
- I'd rather not.
- [woman giggles]
Would you get in? Real quick.
Yeah, just stand here.
- Check this out.
- Okay.
Watch...
blocked! Right?
Sometimes, though, blocking them
isn't enough
if the person is super annoying you
have to...
delete them.
[woman chuckles]
[laughs softly]
No.
[theme song playing]
[Justin] Technology's given us some pretty
amazing ways to communicate.
[Justin] Are you going to crawl?
[Woman] Are you a crawling man?
[Justin] There are drawbacks though.
In my line of work, I find the best way
to get my message across,
is good old-fashioned
face-to-face talking.
Want to see a trick?
Yeah, I'd love to.
- If this goes well, this could be big.
- Alright.
Make a big splash.
People love watching good magic.
You know?
Those kind of things really generate
a lot of buzz.
The Greats, Copperfield, Houdini,
they're in a league of their own.
I'm going to give you some instructions.
Listen very carefully.
Think of any celebrity.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Saving that thought in your mind.
- Keep it private from me.
- Okay.
Because I'm going to try and figure out
who you're thinking of. OK?
[pen scratching]
Okay. I'm locked in.
For the first time, who were you
thinking of?
Tom Hanks. Oh ****.
Yes!
I can read you like a book.
[Justin] I did this for a variety of
people,
but did not get a variety of results.
Tom Hanks.
- Yeah!
- [woman laughs]
Tom Hanks.
Dang! Wow!
- No freaking way!
- [both laugh]
You jerk!
Wow.
Everyone said Tom Hanks.
What are the odds?
Pretty good, actually, when you use
subliminal messaging.
It turns out a few well-placed references
to Tom Hanks movies
can fly right under the radar.
Let's watch that again.
- Do you want to see a trick?
- I'd love to.
If this goes well, this could be big,
make a big splash.
The Greats, Copperfield, Houdini,
they're in a league of their own.
I'm going to give you some instructions.
Think of any celebrity.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Saving that thought in your mind.
- Keep it private from me.
- Okay.
Because I'm going to Ryan figure out
who you're thinking of.
- What's that thing you do for a living?
- I'm a pharmacist.
Pharmacist. Oh, fun!
And if you want to see a live show,
you can catch me if you can on tour.
...from Philadelphia all the way
to Seattle.
I sleep less and less every time
I hit the road.
People love watching good magic.
You know?
Those kind of things really Jenny-rate
a lot of Buzz.
[phone chimes]
I got mail.
It's my wife.
She wants me to get some toys. Alright.
Story of my life. Too late!
Too late!
Aww!
It's getting a little woody today.
I should've worn my DaVinci Code.
This isn't cold.
I'm going to give you some instructions.
Wilson very carefully.
Wilson very closely.
Wilson! Wilson! Wilson! Wilson! Wilson!
Have you ever done that?
- It loosens up the ink.
- Sure.
Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks.
I want you to think of any celebrity.
[Justin] Subliminal messaging does
not work in every situation.
I've had some bad roommates
over the years who did not get the hint.
I've learned that sometimes the best way
to confront a crappy roommate
is to be crappy back at them.
So I found a group of college students
who clearly need my help.
She did not do anything.
She was abnormally close with her brother.
One time, I lived in a room with a guy
that just had a jerking off problem.
[all laughing]
Who's had roommates
whose romantic life
becomes a little too part of your life?
Yeah?
Yeah. She has been
dating this guy and...
- [sexy saxophone music]
- I hear noises.
And...
that's putting it very lightly.
And I just can't be near that.
Sex is the most uncomfortable thing
to confront a roommate about.
You could try this if you want.
- Safe sex is...
- ...good sex.
The only sex.
True.
[laugh]
Here's one way to send the hint:
just take one of their condoms and...
♪ Hallelujah! ♪
put a pope on it.
♪ Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! ♪
[group laugh]
For all our catholic roommates.
[laughing]
Grab me one of the espresso cans.
- Wow.
- Wow.
Geez.
Tell me about your roommate troubles.
He would stay up all night blasting
Steely Dan. I never got any sleep.
I had a roommate who was also up all night
and then would sleep all day.
And get pissed at me for making noise
like a normal person.
You just take one of those
Double Shots and... [honk]
- Oh!
- Oh my God!
What the **** just happened?
Must be magic or something.
Worst roommate you ever had?
For an entire semester, we just
communicated using sticky notes.
Here.
See, the problem with Post-It notes:
it's very easy for your roommate
just to pretend like they didn't see it.
That's why I think you have to make
your message a little more permanent.
Oh, boy.
- Can I see your arm?
- Okay.
- [man giggles]
- Oh-oh...
Is this going to sting?
Ow!
Here's how to make this more permanent.
[giggle]
- Oh!
- What?
- Oh!
- Oh my God!
- You suck!
- Definitely.
You two live together currently?
- Yeah.
- We do.
If you had one complaint with him
as a roommate,
what would it be?
- Yeah, I'd like to see.
- I would like to know.
Every single time I go into the pantry,
my peanut butter is just... lower.
Okay.
So what I do,
is take the peanut butter,
put it back in the pantry,
and use a little bit of magic. So if your
roommate tries to sneak a bite...
it's a rat.
- Oh! That's a live rat!
- [group gasp]
[scream]
Do not let him out.
So cute.
[all speaking over one another]
Not a fan?
- What's your name?
- Susan.
That's really convenient because...
it's time for Magic for Susans.
[voices] Magic for Susans!
[applause]
- Susan?
- Yes.
It's a butter knife going through a...
- card box.
- Yes, it is.
Would you pull that knife out?
Wow! I'm impressed you were able
to do that because,
open your hand up,
- it's a block of steel.
- Whoa!
[Susan laughs]
What?!
Wow. You're good.
[voices] Magic for Susans!
[applause]
[Justin] When I was a kid, I took
Norwegian language classes for six years.
I don't remember a single word.
I barely remember my English words.
It's easy to make someone believe...
it's easy to make or...
And I believed in the Tooth...
Because there were...
Because they...****!
[Justin] Learning a new language
as an adult is hard.
Yet immigrants coming to America take
English as a second language classes,
so they can better communicate
with idiots like me.
I popped into an ESL class
to get inspired.
So guys, if you didn't notice we have
somebody visiting today. This is Justin.
- Can you guys give him a welcome?
- Hey!
[class clapping]
So, I'm happy to be here because English
is also my second language.
My first language, of course, magic.
Woo! Magic!
I'm going to borrow...
uh...
this tablet, yes.
- That was not the magic.
- [class laughing]
I have discovered something,
that gives you the magical ability
to learn any language:
the Rosetta Stone.
[otherworldly magical music]
We're all familiar with the Rosetta Stone,
right?
Now, of course, this isn't the real
Rosetta Stone.
- Wow!
- This...
is the actual...
Rosetta Stone.
How'd you do that?
Oh, this is real!
[class giggling]
When I was a kid, we played a game
called "Telephone".
- Do you know the game, "Telephone"?
- Oh, yes.
Have you guys ever played
the game, "Telephone"? Okay.
So I thought today we could play a magic
version of the game, "Telephone"
using of course our magic Rosetta Stone.
Alright.
Everybody get into a big "U" for me.
Okay. Good. Great. Great. Great.
Okay, so here's how this game
of "Telephone's" going to work:
You're going to find a phrase
in this phrase book.
You're going to memorize it.
I'm going to give you the Rosetta Stone.
You're going to pass the Rosetta Stone
and whisper that phrase into his ear,
and then you'll pass the Rosetta Stone,
whispering the phrase,
and the phrase will just whisper
its way around like a game of "Telephone"
until it gets here to the very end.
And then you're going to tell us
what that phrase is. Okay?
Now, I've made a prediction
of what I think that phrase will be
at the end.
And I placed it inside this envelope.
Would you put this in your pocket?
Okay. No peeking.
- Oh!
- [class laugh]
- Are we ready to begin?
- Yes.
Okay. First, I will have you choose
a phrase. Good.
Okay, let's see.
- Okay.
- You got one?
Okay, trade you.
Okay, let us begin.
OK.
Go ahead and whisper that phrase
and pass the Stone.
- Are you ready?
- Yeah.
[whisper] Stab someone in the back.
[class laughing in excitement]
I'm very excited.
Of 500 different,
yet very useful English phrases
that could have kicked us off,
you chose one that has made its way
all the way down the line.
Why don't you tell me?
Sam sleeping in bed.
Sam sleeping in bed.
Sam sleeping in bed.
Interesting.
Was that what it started with or no?
- Not quite.
- [class laugh]
Okay.
Okay, what did we begin with?
Stab someone in the back.
[laughing]
So close. It's so close.
Before we started, I gave you an envelope.
Would you hand me that envelope?
Inside this envelope,
I wrote a prediction
of exactly how I thought that phrase
would end up?
- Really?
- Oh my gosh.
My prediction is...
set in stone.
[class laugh]
"Sam sleeping in bed" is the final phrase?
And you're holding the Rosetta Stone?
The prediction is set in stone.
Can you turn it around to the back?
And you see how I
have something covered up?
Would you peel that away and
show everyone what it says?
[everyone gasps]
"Sam sleeping in bed" is not
just set in stone, but it is engraved.
Yeah, pass it around.
Oh my God! It's engraved.
We've got to go wake up Sam.
He missed class.
- This is his third absence, so-
- He's out.
- He's failing out.
- Yep.
[Justin] Since magic allowed me to bridge
the language barrier,
I wonder if I can use it to bridge
the species barrier.
Wendy, what do you think
I should keep in mind
as I try to wow these animals
with my wonderous tricks?
[Wendy] So I'm actually interested as well
because none of our animals
have seen any magic before.
Is there a reason you've never had
a magician here before?
- No, not really.
- Am I potentially making a huge mistake?
No, I think you're potentially making
a very good mistake.
[both laugh]
Okay, so Merlin, think of any card
in the deck.
Just think of a card. You got one?
Was it the Ace of Diamonds?
Was it the Ace of Spades, Merlin?
Don't leave. Three of Diamonds?
So if I took a grape
and I kind of one, two, three,
splatted it like that and
it happened to vanish,
lemurs would be very impressed?
You look very impressed.
I am impressed.
Okay, so watch the grape.
Yeah, right?
That's good stuff.
I don't know what he's eating over there.
Tell me if this...
does anything for you.
I feel like when I don't have grapes
they're not that into it.
Okay, Two of Spades?
King of Clubs?
Is it the Queen of Diamonds?
Queen of Clubs?
Four of Spades, Merlin?
King of Spades? Was it a Spade or Club?
You know the difference, right?
Six of Clubs?
Merlin, would you at least look at me
while I'm failing?
Alright, a little sketch comedy
magic here.
This will seem to be familiar.
Do you know what that is?
I'll make it easier.
There it is.
What does that spell?
Watermelon.
You'll like this part.
[Justin grunts, watermelon thuds]
There we go.
We've got a fan.
Yeah.
Eat my props.
Gallagher told me this would kill.
I had no idea.
Two of Diamonds?
Was it the Nine of Hearts?
- [caws]
- It was?!
Nailed it.
First try.
- What's your name?
- Biso.
Biso, you're on trick questions.
I'm going to show you a trick
and then I'm going to ask you a question.
- Alright.
- Are you ready?
Ready.
Rubber band. Check it out.
[hip-hop beat begins]
- Alright.
- Biso, this is not just any rubber band.
- Okay.
- This is an obedient rubber band.
Stop!
Whoa!
Go!
Wow!
- Ready for your question?
- Go for it.
Do you think you'll be the big spoon
or the little spoon
when you get a sex robot?
[Biso chuckles]
How is that related to the rubber band?
The big spoon.
[voices] Trick questions!
[applause]
[Justin] The printed word is perhaps
mankind's greatest achievement
in communication.
When Steve Guttenberg invented
the printing press in 1439,
it forever changed the way we share ideas.
Books give us the means to communicate
with the brilliant minds of the past.
They also give me the means to blow
the minds of people in the present.
Are you guys avid readers?
- Yes.
- I am.
As a magician, I've had a lot of free time
on my hands
and I actually have had so much free time
that I have read and memorized
every single book in this library,
- including this boring-ass book.
- [man laughs]
The dictionary. Have you read
the dictionary? Most people can't do it.
It's very loose through-line.
The book is very wordy.
But I like to think of this book
as a book of ingredients.
And every single book in this library
is made up of the ingredients.
So, to prove this memory skill, I want you
guys to branch out.
Go grab some books.
Surprise me. Choose wisely.
Grab a book you remember reading
when you were a kid.
Don't over-think it.
Make it quick.
Okay, good. Each of you choose one
of the books you brought. Drop the rest.
What do you have?
- Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities.
- Fantastic.
What do you have?
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll
and Mr. Hyde.
- Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.
- Fantastic.
Okay. I've read and memorized
each of these books.
We could just leave now
and you could believe me.
Okay, we'll stay.
Here's what I want each of you to do:
just turn to a random page in your books.
We'll start over here
with A Tale of Two Cities.
What page number are you on?
- One hundred and ninety-nine.
- Page 199.
If I recall, the first word on that page
is "I", right?
- Yes.
- Right?
- "I hear".
- Yes.
Yes. Okay.
Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,
what page number are you on?
Sixty-two.
Page 62,
I believe the first word is "when".
- Yes.
- Is that right?
First word on page 63 is "table",
I believe. Is that right?
- Yes.
- Okay.
Alice in Wonderland, what page number
are you on?
- Eighty-five.
- Page 85. The first word is...
"Although"?
Was that close?
Almost.
Forget it. We'll move on.
Turn to a new page
in A Tale of Two Cities.
One hundred and three.
Er. Was it "good for Doctor Manette"?
- Yes, it is.
- Right. "To have that...", yes?
- Yes.
- Okay.
Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,
what page are you on?
Let's go 201.
Page 201. Okay, so we're skipping ahead
a little bit.
"Every night of the year".
- Yes.
- Wow.
Check my ears. Make sure no one's talking
to me like a news anchor.
If you want, you can lick your fingers
and stick them in my ears.
- Do you want to do it?
- Okay.
[woman laughs]
- Two hundred and nine.
- "He looked hard at any shelf,
to make out
exactly what it had on it"?
Yes!
- What have you got?
- Three hundred and twenty-nine.
Is it "an hours distance
from my place of residence"?
****
[laughing]
Page 85. The first word is "altogether"?
One hundred and seventy-eight.
"By his elbows stood a...
long glass of some effervescent
beverage", yes?
Seventy-one.
"Knew the jury would have word for word".
"The rule is jam tomorrow
and jam yesterday", yes?
- Yes!
- "but never jam...
today".
- Yes!
- Wow!
I don't know! How the hell?
Is something written somewhere?
Well, that was fun. This was good.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
I mean, I will recite all of A Tale of Two
Cities to make up for that...
boo boo.
I really didn't get the word right though?
Was I close?
Almost.
It is a word inside the dictionary?
Maybe. I don't know.
It's always a word in the...
unless it's one of those strange Lewis
Carroll words.
What was the word?
"Alice".
"Alice".
- It's a name.
- Yeah.
See, "Alice" is not actually
in the dictionary.
- That's right.
- But I will put it in the dictionary.
- Oh!
- Okay, watch.
How...?
- Alice.
- What?
Whoa! Oh my!
That's freaky. I'm through.
[chuckle]
That's wild.
This is crazy! This is real stuff!
He's had to read those books
millions of times, I guess.
Or the brain of an elephant.
One of the two.
I don't know how else he could've done it.
Look at that. It says "Alice". And this
book was completely flat.
Magical!
What about "lit"? Yeah, "lit".
This is lit!
Lit.
If you take away just one thing
from this episode,
I hope it's how important communication is
to our survival as a species.
Talking to one another, exchanging ideas,
discussing our feelings:
it's what makes us human.
Who calls?
- Text me.
- [message whoosh]
Absolutely.