Mad Dogs (2011–…): Season 2, Episode 3 - Episode #2.3 - full transcript
The lads wire transfer their savings and Hector's commission but are still some fifty thousand euros short of Mackenzie's demands. Then Woody remembers that Alvo had a similar sum in his safe following a job he did with Dominic and Maria. They manage to break into the safe and also recover the hidden money from the statue of Mary - during a wedding - but on their way to meet Mackenzie they are stopped by the police and fined so that when they meet up Mackenzie they still have a shortfall to make up.
Here's to you, Alvo. Cheers.
Out the way, boys.
Oh, senor.
Gracias, senor.
What's all that about?
Mind your own business.
Alvo? If you die before us,
can we have your villa?
It's already yours. Seriously.
I've put it in all your names.
Don and Nick said we were good.
We've gotta get out of here!
I think this, right now, is the start
of a whole new life for all of us.
We put the money
in the back of the car.
They've come after us. Who have?
Whoever that money belongs to.
Right. We need to find somewhere
to hide the money.
Shove it up her.
You can't do that!
It's disrespectful.
We're all going straight to hell.
Get in the car.
Who are you?
I'm the man whose money you took.
Tell us exactly what he said.
If we don't give him three million, boom!
Have you tried Hector? Yes.
Try him again. Go! Get off your arse!
I reckon we should split up
and head off.
Every man for himself.
Guys, I think there's
something going on out there.
There. Someone's signalling.
Argh! Argh!
Hector!
Why would they kill him?
I don't know. I mean,
we're the ones who took it.
Well, Baxter's the
one who took it.
Oh, just blame me, Rick,
why don't you?
Well, you took it, Bax.
I said, "This is nuts.
I don't want anything to do with it."
You know, I would hate to be stuck
in the trenches with you, Rick.
You are stuck in the trenches
with him.
All that guy did was change money for us.
Who'd kill him for that?
He walks among us.
Don't look so worried, Alvo.
No, I'm not.
I'm just, um, not quite sure
what I'm doing here, that's all.
I thought we should have a chat.
This is, um...
This is where is all
happens, is it?
Surprised?
Well, I dunno. I just...
expected something different.
You know what really
fucks me off?
Aubergines! Every year I try.
It must be the soil.
Too much acid or something.
You know about that, then?
No. I just thought that's
what you're supposed to say.
Don't be a people pleaser, Alvo.
It makes you look a creep.
I don't have strong feelings about
vegetables, really. Oh, you should.
You're at that age. Surprisingly
captivating, agriculture.
I'm not really ready to watch
my garden grow just yet.
I was hoping you would say that.
Have you ever had one of
those days when you get up,
look at everything you've got,
and then you panic?
Cos you've got no safety net
if everything goes tits up?
It won't. I've been careful.
I've got a business proposition.
I'm about to retire.
And do what?
Enjoy life.
Ah, don't be so soft.
Give it a year, and you'll be a fat,
dribbling pisshead,
hanging out in ex-pat pubs,
boring everybody witless
about how you used to do this,
drive one of those.
Things change as you get older.
Different things take precedence.
They say, when a man reaches 50,
he should never pass over
the opportunity to use the bathroom.
Duly noted.
Mm.
You're gonna come in as a partner
to me in a little business venture.
But I'm not interested.
I'm happy as I am. But you're not.
I am.
No, you're not.
I am.
You're fucking not.
You're not happy, Alvo.
I am. I'm happy.
I'm really, really happy.
No, you are not!
You're miserable!
I can see by the way you're dressed,
by the way you stand!
You're only one personal crisis away
from becoming a Scientologist!
I am really, really happy.
I am fucking delirious!
Oh, so you are. You've got
your whole life ahead of you.
And someone like you
needs stimulation.
I'm not talking about
some senorita sucking your cock.
I'm talking about male ego.
Our need to achieve, to conquer,
to break things.
Let's just leave it there.
Sooner or later,
you're gonna be asking yourself
why you've got five fucking bedrooms
and you can't sleep!
You need a purpose, Alvo.
What can I say to you to prove...?
There's a club in Ibiza
owned by a pair of snarky bastards
who nicked a ton of weed from me
seven years ago.
Y-You're not serious?
See how they like it done to them.
No.
It's easy. Lucrative.
But why bother?
You've got enough money, haven't you?
It's not about money.
I am man enough to admit
that I have a resentment,
and it's affecting
my equilibrium.
I've waited seven
years for this.
Mm?
Come on. Come on.
Alright, Dominic.
Alvo.
Give us a beer, Dom.
We've been talking about
the Ibiza idea.
Are we onboard? Er, I don't think
I'm quite cut out for it, actually.
Ooh. It sounds like he's given you
the bum's rush. Has he?
Cheeky monkey!
Hola.
Como estas?
Hello, Maria.
Mwah! Mwah!
This is our friend Alvo.
You're Alvo. I know all about you.
You are famous.
I don't know about that.
You are the man to see
for buying land on the island.
Was. I'm getting out
of the game now.
Course, he's had a little help
along the way. How's that now?
You had help.
I don't think so.
Dominic hasn't thrown you
the odd bone, then?
He tipped me the nod once or twice.
Nice one, Alvo.
So, what are you saying?
That I owe you?
You don't seriously think that
everything you have here, Alvo,
is all down to you, do you?
It is very easy.
We will call you and ask you
to collect the boat. Nah. No.
You sail the boat
to an agreed location,
and somebody will come and meet you,
and then you take the boat back.
No, I can't risk it.
My whole life is on the island now.
Home, investments,
belongings. If I get in trouble
with the police, then...
I risk losing the lot.
You will not get into trouble with the police.
But you don't know that.
So, ...
you don't need to worry.
You will be protected.
Pay you upfront.
This... This isn't me.
I'll send you some cash upfront.
50,000 euros.
How many ways do I have to say it?
You don't want the job.
You can still have the money.
I don't want it!
I'll send it over by courier.
I really don't want it.
What are you so scared of?
Everything.
You're scared of us?
Yes, I am.
Why?
Because...
Because I know it
won't end there.
I do one job for you and...
I... I think it best
if I just leave, yeah?
Alright?
It's my fault.
Yeah.
He said we should give it back
and forget about it.
He...
He said, .. "Once you shake hands
with the devil..."
Well, I didn't shake hands
with the devil.
He's the one who shook hands
Now he's made us all shake hands
with the devil,
even though we didn't wanna
shake hands with him!
You know what your problem is,
don't you?
No. Why don't you tell me, Rick?
You never admit it when you fuck up!
Are you for real?! We could've been
out of here two days ago
if it weren't for you!
What, and leave Quinn behind?
Hola. Si, si.
We went back for him
because he's our mate.
And that's what mates do. You look
after one another. Si, senor.
Maybe you don't, Rick.
Ciao.
Checking if my mother is OK.
Is she OK?
Yes.
Come on.
Come on, guys, we've had it.
Let's just turn ourselves in
and let's just get it over with.
If we go to the police, Quinn and
Woody are looking at 15 years.
Woody might be OK. I mean, if you
all got your stories straight.
Still doing time, though.
Once you go away, that's it.
Your life's over.
Everything I've clawed back
over the last four years,
gone.
Girlfriend, house, forget it.
Let's put it this way.
If I get knocked
down one more time,
I'm really not sure whether
I'll be able to get up again.
So,
we need to try and
get the money then, don't we?
We've got 16 hours to find
114,000 euros.
OK. So, how are we
going to find it?
First, we need to find
where Hector put the 25%.
So, where would that be?
It'd be in Hector's... house.
Well, if he was able to,
he would have posted the message
on a website,
telling you where he was
in case anything happened.
What's the quickest way
of getting money from the UK?
Wire. Take a few hours.
OK. How much can you get?
Me?
You must have some savings.
Got a little bit.
Well, how much?
It's kind of private.
Oh, for Christ's sake, Rick!
We're all about to get murdered.
I don't think anybody here
is gonna judge you
on what you've got in the bank!
Accessible? 25 grand.
Is that all?
You're fuckin' judging me!
You were giving it the big one
about how much money you had.
In bonds and long-term accounts!
That's all I can get quickly.
What about you?
Are you serious?
Well, Rachel, then.
Ask my ex-wife?
I don't fuckin' think so!
It's a matter of life or death, maybe?
Yeah. You pay maintenance.
So? So? So you probably still
got your joint accounts.
Eight grand. 10, max.
What about you?
Bollocks.
I must have left my krugerrands
in my other trousers.
Well, I've got, um,
about three in my current account,
and maybe two in my savings.
Well, I told you
things were bad.
Woods?
Overdrawn. End of.
What about Amy?
No.
Why not?
I'm not dragging her into this.
Ohh. We dragged all ours in.
I fucked my life up but I'm not gonna
fuck hers up. I'm sorry, but..
I said no, Rick. OK?
Don't ask me again.
Don't even mention her name.
Got it?
Carmen, can you get anything?
Whoa
Don't worry, love,
Bax will pay you back, obviously.
I have four thousand,
and maybe I could borrow
two thousand from my mother.
I need you to wire
me some money.
Yes, and it's my money too.
Hey, darling, how are you doing?
Yeah. Yeah, I know it's
the middle of the night.
I dunno. Whatever's in there.
There should be about 10?
Obviously there's a problem.
Go to the Western Union website.
You can use your credit card.
We're looking at a lot.
Rachel, you got every single
fucking thing you wanted from me!
The more you can make me suffer,
the happier you are!
It's just a bit of a problem.
I need you to send me some money.
Not much.
A bit more than that.
You love it that things
haven't worked out for me.
You turn my kids against me,
you make our friends take sides.
I need more like 25 grand.
When my entire career
folded around me, did you offer
any help or support? No!
You danced on my fucking grave!
It's that business thing.
I told you about it earlier.
The thing with Baxter.
Yeah, you'll get it back.
..knobhead boyfriend with
his BMW and his Club Med
and his Reeboks
and his fucking tennis!!
Bax is looking at me now.
He's laughing.
Do this, it's the last thing
I'll ever ask you to do.
He's just waiting for this little thing.
Just do it, will ya?
You will never hear from me again.
I love you. Do you understand?
Yes.
Yes, so just wire me
the fucking money.
Please?
I'm sorry.
It's Hector.
He told me where it is.
He posted a message
before they killed him.
Where does that leave us?
62 grand shy.
Right. We hit the banks
first thing in the morning.
There. That pushes it up to 2,000.
That's not too shabby, is it?
Right. Who's keeping the money?
I'll take it.
Cos I had a couple of drops of vino
last night? I'm keeping it.
Most of it's mine, anyway.
I'm gonna go with Carmen.
Right. We'll see you again,
won't we?
What's that supposed to mean?
Lot of money, Bax.
You two swan off,
do a nice little runner.
Where do you think I'm
gonna run to, Rick?
My ex-wife, who seems to think
I'm a drug addict?
The police, who
want to arrest me?
Or the psychopath
that wants to fucking kill me?
Where do you think I should go?
Come on.
Gracias, Hector.
OK.
Who is it?
It's me.
Where's Bax?
Right.
Nina's sent an extra three grand.
Not quite sure how to take that.
So, did you get it?
Carmen borrowed
three off her mom.
OK, so where are we at, then?
We are 54 shy.
Where the hell are we gonna get
54 grand from?
Do you wanna tell him, Carmen?
The club where I work.
On a normal night there is maybe
300,000 euros in the safe.
I know a way you could get in,
take some money, and get out.
Unseen.
It... You've all discussed this,
have you?
Well, we thought we'd have a secret ballot.
It's just a yes or no.
Stick it in the bowl.
We've got a result?
We do.
We've run out of ideas, Rick.
Hm.
So now we're gonna be robbers
as well.
That's brilliant.
Just brilliant.
Dear, oh dear, oh dear.
Look at the state of you lot.
You're not gonna be like this
all day, are you?
Quick beer and we'll
be on our way.
Round the table, I want all
your ambitions for the next year.
Don't think about it, just say it.
Woody?
Day at a time, mate. Don't plan.
But you must have a goal?
That isn't mine. Thank you.
Um, well, there's a girl
that I've been seeing.
So she's into you, is she?
She's into my potential.
It's up to me not to do anything
stupid and fuck it up.
Quinn?
Stay healthy, I suppose.
Don't be such a nonce.
Where's the fire in your belly?
Come on, you must want something.
I like my life as it is.
No, you don't. You're staring into
a bottomless pit of despair, mate.
No, I'm perfectly happy, thank you.
No, you're not. You're miserable.
I can tell by the way you dress,
by the way you stand.
You're one personal crisis away
from becoming a Scientologist.
Alvo, are you serious about leaving
us your villa? Yeah, why not?
You may as well throw it
over the cliff now, then.
You would, too. Too right.
Yeah, I'd like to see you try.
Don't fuckin' tempt me. What is
your problem? You started it,
having a go at my life. What the fuck do you know?
More than you ever will.
You've gotta lot of money, and your big watch.
Well done, you. Nice.
Whoa, whoa. Boys.
It's like being back at school.
Then stop making cracks about
me dying, then. Alright?
In your life, there's...
very few moments that really...
matter.
Now the bastard is that you don't
realise that these are the moments,
except in hindsight.
I got lucky. I...
I saw one of my moments coming.
I could've taken a huge chance,
and my whole life could've...
gone to the next level.
But I'd rather
stick with what I've got.
You'd be mad to risk it,
wouldn't you?
Yeah, that's what I thought,
basically.
Which is why I...
save it for myself.
Which is unlike you lot.
It don't help when he rams it
down your neck, does it?
No.
Still,
at least one of us cracked it.
Good luck to him.
We all made our
choices, didn't we?
Is it just me, or is it
harder to change things
when you get to our age?
You know you can't just walk away
from things any more.
No, you can't.
Christ knows,
I would like to sometimes.
Alvo? Alvo?
Where's the toilet?
It's just up there. Woody?
I'm serious about wanting
to help you out. I'm fine.
No. No, you've got
no money, mate.
I'm used to it.
I appreciate the thought, though.
Whenever I do a big deal, right, I
get a little thank you in cash.
What, backhander?
It's more like a tip.
People do it out here.
It's just like the old brown envelope, you know?
Like what the courier
brought you?
Well, let's just say
I've got some cash in the house,
and I'd like you to have it.
No... It's a present, mate,
to get you on your feet.
Honestly, pal, I'm alright.
It's free fucking money.
Woody, I don't want it.
I've got enough.
And it's cash, so no one needs to know.
It's between the two of us.
Keep it a secret from the lads?
I don't... Probably best, innit?
You're only as sick as your secrets.
What the fuck are you talking about?
That's what they teach you
in recovery.
You shouldn't keep secrets.
They fuck you up.
Listen, man, thanks, anyway.
No, Woods... Woody!
Woody!
I... I bunged it in the safe.
50 grand. It's yours, alright?
Ungrateful fucker!
I was trying to do the
right thing, Woody.
It's in the safe!
There's money in the fucking safe!
Whaddya mean, there's money
in the fucking safe?!
Remember the courier
that came round to Alvo's?
The guy with the envelope?
It had money in it.
Alvo's put it in the safe.
That's what I can hear banging around.
There's 50 fucking grand in here.
Hang on. How do you know this?
I'll tell you in a bit.
Why not tell us now?
We've tried a hundred ways to open that.
We try a hundred more. C'mon.
Well, this is Mano.
He can help us.
He normally... buys things.
Fixes them and then sells them.
You can trust him.
Give me a moment.
Si, claro.
There.
Fucking hell!
50 grand!
How did you know?
Alvo alluded to it.
How come he alluded it to you?
He didn't allude to me.
Did he allude to you? Alright,
listen. We've got three hours.
We're four grand short.
Carmen, you know you said
he buys and sells thing? Yes.
This watch is worth a bloody fortune.
Five grand, it's his.
Cinco mil.
Cinco mil?
He says he'll give us
two and a half thousand.
Taking the piss.
No, four. Final offer.
Tres.
Tres mil quinientos.
He says three and a half thousand
less 100 for opening the safe.
Alright, do it.
600 short. So we've got two hours
to get the rest out of Mary.
600? That's loose change compared
to what we've cobbled together.
Hey, hang on. I've got an idea.
Carmen, you can
drive fast, yeah?
Yeah. Who's the fastest runner
out of us lot?
It's got to be between you and Woody, hasn't it?
Ah, I dunno. I dunno.
I'm pretty fast.
You're not as fast as me, are you?
I think I probably was, yeah.
No, I don't think you are any more.
I probably still could be.
You're living in the past.
Why don't you two race, we'll hang
about until you sort it out, yeah?
OK, you two go with Carmen
and get the car.
Woody, come with me.
Meet me outside the apartment,
across the road.
Keep the engine running.
Be ready to leave, fast.
I'm a lot better at football
than Bax.
Yeah.
OK. Stand there.
Just make out
like you're talking to me.
Go on, then.
Er, I...
I don't know what to talk about.
Hang on.
No, don't look round.
OK, you know what we're doing, yeah?
Yeah. Ready?
Yeah.
If someone gets hurt, so be it.
Go, go, go!
How much, Rick?
10, 20, 30...
Er, four hundred and seventy five.
Blimey!
Who'd have thought that standing
still could be so bloody lucrative?
Er, 125 short.
Maybe there's a collection plate
at the church?
What?
They're for the needy, aren't they?
Hola.
Hang on!
Hold on.
Gracias.
She said she'll pray for us.
Ah, that's great.
Listen, she couldn't lend us the
last 125, could she? Rick! Rick.
Well, obviously we'll pay her
back... when we've got it.
Gracias. Gracias.
Muchos gracias.
Muchos gracias.
Gracia very much. Come on!
We've got it. We've got it!
Bollocks!
Where did this lot come from?
How long have we got?
An hour. How long does it take
to get there? An hour.
Fuck! Shit! Sorry.
I shouldn't swear in church.
Sorry.
Carmen, can you tell
whether this is near the beginning
or the end of the ceremony?
Sounds like the middle.
But it's Catholica, so...
it's normally it's
a big middle.
Shit!
Rick?
What?
Sorry.
You're a lucky man.
She's gorgeous.
I'll get the head.
Momento, momento, momento.
Sorry.
Right, get her on the back!
Hold it! Hold it!
Get something to jam it!
I'm coming! Hurry up!
The money's rammed in her tight!
Come on!
Go on, get her in the car! Go!
What shall we do with her?
She's been good to us.
Come on, foot down, Carmen.
Only 20 minutes to go.
I don't believe it!
You've gotta be
fucking kidding me?
What's up?
Jesus!
D'you think he knows about Mary?
Oh, great!
As well as committing a crime, we've
now offended a whole religion!
He's charging us.
With what?
Ah, murder, assault, fraud, drugs.
Take your pick.
With speeding.
Right, so...
So we pay the fine.
Now. 100 euros.
He's coming.
So, do you have 100 euros?
Yeah. Si.
Thank you.
Three fucking minutes!
Jesus Christ!
Carmen, wait. Stay there. No.
Stay there.
Please!
Let's go! Come on!
Bax!
Quinn?
What are you laughing at? Come on!
Let's go.
It's ridiculous!
You cut that fine.
Is it all there?
Yes.
You're not gonna die on me, are you?
There are kids out there.
It's all there.
You can check it if you want.
I will.
Right, we're square.
Listen... we'll be off.
Cheers. Come on, lads.
Hang on a second!
Right, when I saw run, leg it!
Boys!
No. Stop!
No, no, no, no.
Stop!
What if he's the one who phoned
my home pretending to be Alvo?
If we all go in different
directions, he can't get all of us.
No.
Why the fuck not?!
What if he knows where I live?
My wife and kids are there.
Rick... Rick...
If you go back...
Oh, you...
Shit!
Hi. Only me, mate. Listen,
can I just explain something?
OK? It's all there.
It's all there.
Except, it is a
hundred euros short.
Because, you see, we were driving
and got stopped for speeding.
A hundred short?
Yeah. But don't worry, OK?
Cos what we're gonna do,
right, is when we get home
we're gonna send it to you.
I'll wire it first thing,
straight to you. I mean,
for all intents and purposes,
we did get it all back for you.
Well, that's just it.
You didn't.
I tell you what.
We'll all have an ice cream,
and then we can decide
what we're gonna do about it.
Whose idea was it
to take my money?
Oi, you!
We gave you the money back.
You didn't do what I asked!
You messed up!
So now you have to put right
what you so royally screwed up!
Where the fuck are we?
If they pull this off,
are you gonna let us go?
Five seconds.
Tell me one reason why I shouldn't
blow your fucking face off?
Out the way, boys.
Oh, senor.
Gracias, senor.
What's all that about?
Mind your own business.
Alvo? If you die before us,
can we have your villa?
It's already yours. Seriously.
I've put it in all your names.
Don and Nick said we were good.
We've gotta get out of here!
I think this, right now, is the start
of a whole new life for all of us.
We put the money
in the back of the car.
They've come after us. Who have?
Whoever that money belongs to.
Right. We need to find somewhere
to hide the money.
Shove it up her.
You can't do that!
It's disrespectful.
We're all going straight to hell.
Get in the car.
Who are you?
I'm the man whose money you took.
Tell us exactly what he said.
If we don't give him three million, boom!
Have you tried Hector? Yes.
Try him again. Go! Get off your arse!
I reckon we should split up
and head off.
Every man for himself.
Guys, I think there's
something going on out there.
There. Someone's signalling.
Argh! Argh!
Hector!
Why would they kill him?
I don't know. I mean,
we're the ones who took it.
Well, Baxter's the
one who took it.
Oh, just blame me, Rick,
why don't you?
Well, you took it, Bax.
I said, "This is nuts.
I don't want anything to do with it."
You know, I would hate to be stuck
in the trenches with you, Rick.
You are stuck in the trenches
with him.
All that guy did was change money for us.
Who'd kill him for that?
He walks among us.
Don't look so worried, Alvo.
No, I'm not.
I'm just, um, not quite sure
what I'm doing here, that's all.
I thought we should have a chat.
This is, um...
This is where is all
happens, is it?
Surprised?
Well, I dunno. I just...
expected something different.
You know what really
fucks me off?
Aubergines! Every year I try.
It must be the soil.
Too much acid or something.
You know about that, then?
No. I just thought that's
what you're supposed to say.
Don't be a people pleaser, Alvo.
It makes you look a creep.
I don't have strong feelings about
vegetables, really. Oh, you should.
You're at that age. Surprisingly
captivating, agriculture.
I'm not really ready to watch
my garden grow just yet.
I was hoping you would say that.
Have you ever had one of
those days when you get up,
look at everything you've got,
and then you panic?
Cos you've got no safety net
if everything goes tits up?
It won't. I've been careful.
I've got a business proposition.
I'm about to retire.
And do what?
Enjoy life.
Ah, don't be so soft.
Give it a year, and you'll be a fat,
dribbling pisshead,
hanging out in ex-pat pubs,
boring everybody witless
about how you used to do this,
drive one of those.
Things change as you get older.
Different things take precedence.
They say, when a man reaches 50,
he should never pass over
the opportunity to use the bathroom.
Duly noted.
Mm.
You're gonna come in as a partner
to me in a little business venture.
But I'm not interested.
I'm happy as I am. But you're not.
I am.
No, you're not.
I am.
You're fucking not.
You're not happy, Alvo.
I am. I'm happy.
I'm really, really happy.
No, you are not!
You're miserable!
I can see by the way you're dressed,
by the way you stand!
You're only one personal crisis away
from becoming a Scientologist!
I am really, really happy.
I am fucking delirious!
Oh, so you are. You've got
your whole life ahead of you.
And someone like you
needs stimulation.
I'm not talking about
some senorita sucking your cock.
I'm talking about male ego.
Our need to achieve, to conquer,
to break things.
Let's just leave it there.
Sooner or later,
you're gonna be asking yourself
why you've got five fucking bedrooms
and you can't sleep!
You need a purpose, Alvo.
What can I say to you to prove...?
There's a club in Ibiza
owned by a pair of snarky bastards
who nicked a ton of weed from me
seven years ago.
Y-You're not serious?
See how they like it done to them.
No.
It's easy. Lucrative.
But why bother?
You've got enough money, haven't you?
It's not about money.
I am man enough to admit
that I have a resentment,
and it's affecting
my equilibrium.
I've waited seven
years for this.
Mm?
Come on. Come on.
Alright, Dominic.
Alvo.
Give us a beer, Dom.
We've been talking about
the Ibiza idea.
Are we onboard? Er, I don't think
I'm quite cut out for it, actually.
Ooh. It sounds like he's given you
the bum's rush. Has he?
Cheeky monkey!
Hola.
Como estas?
Hello, Maria.
Mwah! Mwah!
This is our friend Alvo.
You're Alvo. I know all about you.
You are famous.
I don't know about that.
You are the man to see
for buying land on the island.
Was. I'm getting out
of the game now.
Course, he's had a little help
along the way. How's that now?
You had help.
I don't think so.
Dominic hasn't thrown you
the odd bone, then?
He tipped me the nod once or twice.
Nice one, Alvo.
So, what are you saying?
That I owe you?
You don't seriously think that
everything you have here, Alvo,
is all down to you, do you?
It is very easy.
We will call you and ask you
to collect the boat. Nah. No.
You sail the boat
to an agreed location,
and somebody will come and meet you,
and then you take the boat back.
No, I can't risk it.
My whole life is on the island now.
Home, investments,
belongings. If I get in trouble
with the police, then...
I risk losing the lot.
You will not get into trouble with the police.
But you don't know that.
So, ...
you don't need to worry.
You will be protected.
Pay you upfront.
This... This isn't me.
I'll send you some cash upfront.
50,000 euros.
How many ways do I have to say it?
You don't want the job.
You can still have the money.
I don't want it!
I'll send it over by courier.
I really don't want it.
What are you so scared of?
Everything.
You're scared of us?
Yes, I am.
Why?
Because...
Because I know it
won't end there.
I do one job for you and...
I... I think it best
if I just leave, yeah?
Alright?
It's my fault.
Yeah.
He said we should give it back
and forget about it.
He...
He said, .. "Once you shake hands
with the devil..."
Well, I didn't shake hands
with the devil.
He's the one who shook hands
Now he's made us all shake hands
with the devil,
even though we didn't wanna
shake hands with him!
You know what your problem is,
don't you?
No. Why don't you tell me, Rick?
You never admit it when you fuck up!
Are you for real?! We could've been
out of here two days ago
if it weren't for you!
What, and leave Quinn behind?
Hola. Si, si.
We went back for him
because he's our mate.
And that's what mates do. You look
after one another. Si, senor.
Maybe you don't, Rick.
Ciao.
Checking if my mother is OK.
Is she OK?
Yes.
Come on.
Come on, guys, we've had it.
Let's just turn ourselves in
and let's just get it over with.
If we go to the police, Quinn and
Woody are looking at 15 years.
Woody might be OK. I mean, if you
all got your stories straight.
Still doing time, though.
Once you go away, that's it.
Your life's over.
Everything I've clawed back
over the last four years,
gone.
Girlfriend, house, forget it.
Let's put it this way.
If I get knocked
down one more time,
I'm really not sure whether
I'll be able to get up again.
So,
we need to try and
get the money then, don't we?
We've got 16 hours to find
114,000 euros.
OK. So, how are we
going to find it?
First, we need to find
where Hector put the 25%.
So, where would that be?
It'd be in Hector's... house.
Well, if he was able to,
he would have posted the message
on a website,
telling you where he was
in case anything happened.
What's the quickest way
of getting money from the UK?
Wire. Take a few hours.
OK. How much can you get?
Me?
You must have some savings.
Got a little bit.
Well, how much?
It's kind of private.
Oh, for Christ's sake, Rick!
We're all about to get murdered.
I don't think anybody here
is gonna judge you
on what you've got in the bank!
Accessible? 25 grand.
Is that all?
You're fuckin' judging me!
You were giving it the big one
about how much money you had.
In bonds and long-term accounts!
That's all I can get quickly.
What about you?
Are you serious?
Well, Rachel, then.
Ask my ex-wife?
I don't fuckin' think so!
It's a matter of life or death, maybe?
Yeah. You pay maintenance.
So? So? So you probably still
got your joint accounts.
Eight grand. 10, max.
What about you?
Bollocks.
I must have left my krugerrands
in my other trousers.
Well, I've got, um,
about three in my current account,
and maybe two in my savings.
Well, I told you
things were bad.
Woods?
Overdrawn. End of.
What about Amy?
No.
Why not?
I'm not dragging her into this.
Ohh. We dragged all ours in.
I fucked my life up but I'm not gonna
fuck hers up. I'm sorry, but..
I said no, Rick. OK?
Don't ask me again.
Don't even mention her name.
Got it?
Carmen, can you get anything?
Whoa
Don't worry, love,
Bax will pay you back, obviously.
I have four thousand,
and maybe I could borrow
two thousand from my mother.
I need you to wire
me some money.
Yes, and it's my money too.
Hey, darling, how are you doing?
Yeah. Yeah, I know it's
the middle of the night.
I dunno. Whatever's in there.
There should be about 10?
Obviously there's a problem.
Go to the Western Union website.
You can use your credit card.
We're looking at a lot.
Rachel, you got every single
fucking thing you wanted from me!
The more you can make me suffer,
the happier you are!
It's just a bit of a problem.
I need you to send me some money.
Not much.
A bit more than that.
You love it that things
haven't worked out for me.
You turn my kids against me,
you make our friends take sides.
I need more like 25 grand.
When my entire career
folded around me, did you offer
any help or support? No!
You danced on my fucking grave!
It's that business thing.
I told you about it earlier.
The thing with Baxter.
Yeah, you'll get it back.
..knobhead boyfriend with
his BMW and his Club Med
and his Reeboks
and his fucking tennis!!
Bax is looking at me now.
He's laughing.
Do this, it's the last thing
I'll ever ask you to do.
He's just waiting for this little thing.
Just do it, will ya?
You will never hear from me again.
I love you. Do you understand?
Yes.
Yes, so just wire me
the fucking money.
Please?
I'm sorry.
It's Hector.
He told me where it is.
He posted a message
before they killed him.
Where does that leave us?
62 grand shy.
Right. We hit the banks
first thing in the morning.
There. That pushes it up to 2,000.
That's not too shabby, is it?
Right. Who's keeping the money?
I'll take it.
Cos I had a couple of drops of vino
last night? I'm keeping it.
Most of it's mine, anyway.
I'm gonna go with Carmen.
Right. We'll see you again,
won't we?
What's that supposed to mean?
Lot of money, Bax.
You two swan off,
do a nice little runner.
Where do you think I'm
gonna run to, Rick?
My ex-wife, who seems to think
I'm a drug addict?
The police, who
want to arrest me?
Or the psychopath
that wants to fucking kill me?
Where do you think I should go?
Come on.
Gracias, Hector.
OK.
Who is it?
It's me.
Where's Bax?
Right.
Nina's sent an extra three grand.
Not quite sure how to take that.
So, did you get it?
Carmen borrowed
three off her mom.
OK, so where are we at, then?
We are 54 shy.
Where the hell are we gonna get
54 grand from?
Do you wanna tell him, Carmen?
The club where I work.
On a normal night there is maybe
300,000 euros in the safe.
I know a way you could get in,
take some money, and get out.
Unseen.
It... You've all discussed this,
have you?
Well, we thought we'd have a secret ballot.
It's just a yes or no.
Stick it in the bowl.
We've got a result?
We do.
We've run out of ideas, Rick.
Hm.
So now we're gonna be robbers
as well.
That's brilliant.
Just brilliant.
Dear, oh dear, oh dear.
Look at the state of you lot.
You're not gonna be like this
all day, are you?
Quick beer and we'll
be on our way.
Round the table, I want all
your ambitions for the next year.
Don't think about it, just say it.
Woody?
Day at a time, mate. Don't plan.
But you must have a goal?
That isn't mine. Thank you.
Um, well, there's a girl
that I've been seeing.
So she's into you, is she?
She's into my potential.
It's up to me not to do anything
stupid and fuck it up.
Quinn?
Stay healthy, I suppose.
Don't be such a nonce.
Where's the fire in your belly?
Come on, you must want something.
I like my life as it is.
No, you don't. You're staring into
a bottomless pit of despair, mate.
No, I'm perfectly happy, thank you.
No, you're not. You're miserable.
I can tell by the way you dress,
by the way you stand.
You're one personal crisis away
from becoming a Scientologist.
Alvo, are you serious about leaving
us your villa? Yeah, why not?
You may as well throw it
over the cliff now, then.
You would, too. Too right.
Yeah, I'd like to see you try.
Don't fuckin' tempt me. What is
your problem? You started it,
having a go at my life. What the fuck do you know?
More than you ever will.
You've gotta lot of money, and your big watch.
Well done, you. Nice.
Whoa, whoa. Boys.
It's like being back at school.
Then stop making cracks about
me dying, then. Alright?
In your life, there's...
very few moments that really...
matter.
Now the bastard is that you don't
realise that these are the moments,
except in hindsight.
I got lucky. I...
I saw one of my moments coming.
I could've taken a huge chance,
and my whole life could've...
gone to the next level.
But I'd rather
stick with what I've got.
You'd be mad to risk it,
wouldn't you?
Yeah, that's what I thought,
basically.
Which is why I...
save it for myself.
Which is unlike you lot.
It don't help when he rams it
down your neck, does it?
No.
Still,
at least one of us cracked it.
Good luck to him.
We all made our
choices, didn't we?
Is it just me, or is it
harder to change things
when you get to our age?
You know you can't just walk away
from things any more.
No, you can't.
Christ knows,
I would like to sometimes.
Alvo? Alvo?
Where's the toilet?
It's just up there. Woody?
I'm serious about wanting
to help you out. I'm fine.
No. No, you've got
no money, mate.
I'm used to it.
I appreciate the thought, though.
Whenever I do a big deal, right, I
get a little thank you in cash.
What, backhander?
It's more like a tip.
People do it out here.
It's just like the old brown envelope, you know?
Like what the courier
brought you?
Well, let's just say
I've got some cash in the house,
and I'd like you to have it.
No... It's a present, mate,
to get you on your feet.
Honestly, pal, I'm alright.
It's free fucking money.
Woody, I don't want it.
I've got enough.
And it's cash, so no one needs to know.
It's between the two of us.
Keep it a secret from the lads?
I don't... Probably best, innit?
You're only as sick as your secrets.
What the fuck are you talking about?
That's what they teach you
in recovery.
You shouldn't keep secrets.
They fuck you up.
Listen, man, thanks, anyway.
No, Woods... Woody!
Woody!
I... I bunged it in the safe.
50 grand. It's yours, alright?
Ungrateful fucker!
I was trying to do the
right thing, Woody.
It's in the safe!
There's money in the fucking safe!
Whaddya mean, there's money
in the fucking safe?!
Remember the courier
that came round to Alvo's?
The guy with the envelope?
It had money in it.
Alvo's put it in the safe.
That's what I can hear banging around.
There's 50 fucking grand in here.
Hang on. How do you know this?
I'll tell you in a bit.
Why not tell us now?
We've tried a hundred ways to open that.
We try a hundred more. C'mon.
Well, this is Mano.
He can help us.
He normally... buys things.
Fixes them and then sells them.
You can trust him.
Give me a moment.
Si, claro.
There.
Fucking hell!
50 grand!
How did you know?
Alvo alluded to it.
How come he alluded it to you?
He didn't allude to me.
Did he allude to you? Alright,
listen. We've got three hours.
We're four grand short.
Carmen, you know you said
he buys and sells thing? Yes.
This watch is worth a bloody fortune.
Five grand, it's his.
Cinco mil.
Cinco mil?
He says he'll give us
two and a half thousand.
Taking the piss.
No, four. Final offer.
Tres.
Tres mil quinientos.
He says three and a half thousand
less 100 for opening the safe.
Alright, do it.
600 short. So we've got two hours
to get the rest out of Mary.
600? That's loose change compared
to what we've cobbled together.
Hey, hang on. I've got an idea.
Carmen, you can
drive fast, yeah?
Yeah. Who's the fastest runner
out of us lot?
It's got to be between you and Woody, hasn't it?
Ah, I dunno. I dunno.
I'm pretty fast.
You're not as fast as me, are you?
I think I probably was, yeah.
No, I don't think you are any more.
I probably still could be.
You're living in the past.
Why don't you two race, we'll hang
about until you sort it out, yeah?
OK, you two go with Carmen
and get the car.
Woody, come with me.
Meet me outside the apartment,
across the road.
Keep the engine running.
Be ready to leave, fast.
I'm a lot better at football
than Bax.
Yeah.
OK. Stand there.
Just make out
like you're talking to me.
Go on, then.
Er, I...
I don't know what to talk about.
Hang on.
No, don't look round.
OK, you know what we're doing, yeah?
Yeah. Ready?
Yeah.
If someone gets hurt, so be it.
Go, go, go!
How much, Rick?
10, 20, 30...
Er, four hundred and seventy five.
Blimey!
Who'd have thought that standing
still could be so bloody lucrative?
Er, 125 short.
Maybe there's a collection plate
at the church?
What?
They're for the needy, aren't they?
Hola.
Hang on!
Hold on.
Gracias.
She said she'll pray for us.
Ah, that's great.
Listen, she couldn't lend us the
last 125, could she? Rick! Rick.
Well, obviously we'll pay her
back... when we've got it.
Gracias. Gracias.
Muchos gracias.
Muchos gracias.
Gracia very much. Come on!
We've got it. We've got it!
Bollocks!
Where did this lot come from?
How long have we got?
An hour. How long does it take
to get there? An hour.
Fuck! Shit! Sorry.
I shouldn't swear in church.
Sorry.
Carmen, can you tell
whether this is near the beginning
or the end of the ceremony?
Sounds like the middle.
But it's Catholica, so...
it's normally it's
a big middle.
Shit!
Rick?
What?
Sorry.
You're a lucky man.
She's gorgeous.
I'll get the head.
Momento, momento, momento.
Sorry.
Right, get her on the back!
Hold it! Hold it!
Get something to jam it!
I'm coming! Hurry up!
The money's rammed in her tight!
Come on!
Go on, get her in the car! Go!
What shall we do with her?
She's been good to us.
Come on, foot down, Carmen.
Only 20 minutes to go.
I don't believe it!
You've gotta be
fucking kidding me?
What's up?
Jesus!
D'you think he knows about Mary?
Oh, great!
As well as committing a crime, we've
now offended a whole religion!
He's charging us.
With what?
Ah, murder, assault, fraud, drugs.
Take your pick.
With speeding.
Right, so...
So we pay the fine.
Now. 100 euros.
He's coming.
So, do you have 100 euros?
Yeah. Si.
Thank you.
Three fucking minutes!
Jesus Christ!
Carmen, wait. Stay there. No.
Stay there.
Please!
Let's go! Come on!
Bax!
Quinn?
What are you laughing at? Come on!
Let's go.
It's ridiculous!
You cut that fine.
Is it all there?
Yes.
You're not gonna die on me, are you?
There are kids out there.
It's all there.
You can check it if you want.
I will.
Right, we're square.
Listen... we'll be off.
Cheers. Come on, lads.
Hang on a second!
Right, when I saw run, leg it!
Boys!
No. Stop!
No, no, no, no.
Stop!
What if he's the one who phoned
my home pretending to be Alvo?
If we all go in different
directions, he can't get all of us.
No.
Why the fuck not?!
What if he knows where I live?
My wife and kids are there.
Rick... Rick...
If you go back...
Oh, you...
Shit!
Hi. Only me, mate. Listen,
can I just explain something?
OK? It's all there.
It's all there.
Except, it is a
hundred euros short.
Because, you see, we were driving
and got stopped for speeding.
A hundred short?
Yeah. But don't worry, OK?
Cos what we're gonna do,
right, is when we get home
we're gonna send it to you.
I'll wire it first thing,
straight to you. I mean,
for all intents and purposes,
we did get it all back for you.
Well, that's just it.
You didn't.
I tell you what.
We'll all have an ice cream,
and then we can decide
what we're gonna do about it.
Whose idea was it
to take my money?
Oi, you!
We gave you the money back.
You didn't do what I asked!
You messed up!
So now you have to put right
what you so royally screwed up!
Where the fuck are we?
If they pull this off,
are you gonna let us go?
Five seconds.
Tell me one reason why I shouldn't
blow your fucking face off?