Mad About You (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Boundaries and Nakedness - full transcript

Sweetie, come on in.

Your breakfast is getting cold.

Go get Mommy, go.

Go in the bedroom. Go in the bedroom.

Go...

Perfect.

What time is it?

I wanna get there early in
case one of my patients gets...

my patients.

I've never said that out
loud. I'm gonna have patients.

That's really exciting.



You should sit down,
have a good breakfast.

No, I'm too nervous.

Tonya's taking a chance on me
and I don't wanna let her down.

You're not gonna let anybody down.

- You're gonna be great.
- I hope so.

What are you doing today? I
feel like I'm abandoning you.

Oh, no, no. I'm gonna be fine.

- Mark's coming over.
- You have a playdate.

Good.

Well, that makes me happy.

All right, wish me luck.

Okay. Hey, oh no, wait.

Uh, the chess clock I got you.

Oh, Mabel took it, remember?



No, no. I... I... I explained
to her that it was a gift.

So I... here it is.

I had her bring it back

'cause I had to tell her
how much you loved it.

I really do.

- Hey, hold on. I got you a present too.
- Really?

I know things have been a
little slow at work lately,

so I got you a couple of
things to keep you occupied.

Sweetie, I'm pretty sure I
can keep myself busy with...

- that's a very big book.
- Mm-hmm.

I should have this read by 11:30.

- And...
- A jigsaw puzzle.

It's Times Square.

- Oh yeah, little tiny hookers.
- Yup.

What if I'm terrible?

You're not gonna be...
you're gonna be great.

You're gonna be great.

Love you. See you later.

Whoa, whoa, wait! The clock!

Crazy how I can't seem to remember that!

Oh, hey! I was just about to buzz!

I'm glad I caught ya, therapist lady.

Have a great first day.

Bye, Mark. Bye.

- Bye, sweetie.
- Kiss my wife hello for me.

It's amazing, huh? Our
wives working together.

- Yeah, it's great, isn't it?
- Yeah, you okay?

Yeah, I'm good. Why?

Uh, your wife's going back to work

after a long time being home.

Maybe you feel left behind?

A little not-so-special?

No, I feel fine. Why?

Well, Paul?

I want you to know... you
need to talk, I'm here for you.

- Well, that's good to know.
- Okay.

Good because I want to
talk to you about something.

- Uh, you working today?
- No, why? What's up?

Sit down.

You okay?

Sit.

Now what I'm about to
say is very serious,

and I want you to know that
it comes from a place of love

and concern and deep friendship.

Okay.

You're fat.

- Excuse me?
- You heard me.

- I'm fat?
- Yes.

I'm fat? What about you, you fat...

All right, yes. Okay, yes.

I have some extra pounds,

but mine are evenly distributed

about my person.

- No, they're not.
- No, yes!

And you are concentrated
right here in the gut

and the chest, and this is
a prescription for disaster.

I'm so happy you came by today.

Paul, I plan on living many more years,

and if you're not around
to live them with me,

they're just not gonna seem so special,

and I don't wanna lose ya!

That's very sweet.

Listen, I would like
to live a long time too.

Good, good!

Because I got three free
sessions with a trainer

over at that gym on 8th and Broadway,

and there are two passes...

one for me, one for a friend.

You're my friend, so what do you say?

- I don't wanna do that.
- Oh, come on, Paul!

If not for yourself,
do it for me, please?

Okay, fine.

Great, we'll lose
weight, we'll work out.

- You want some bacon?
- I thought you'd never ask.

[EASYGOING MUSIC]

♪♪

♪ Tell me why ♪

♪ I love you like I do ♪

♪ Tell me who ♪

♪ Can stop my heart as much as you ♪

♪ If we take each other's hands ♪

♪ We can fly into the final frontier ♪

- ♪ I'm mad about you, baby ♪
- ♪ Final frontier ♪

- ♪ I'm mad about you, baby ♪
- ♪ Final frontier ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Final frontier ♪

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Good morning.

Ready for your first day on the job?

A few butterflies.

Nothing to be nervous about at all.

Oh.

You say nothing to be nervous about,

and then that "Oh" makes me nervous.

I guess we didn't talk dress code.

My fault, not yours.

- There's a code?
- Relax, sweetheart.

Just for future reference,
neutral colors, warm tones.

Think emotional comfort

like a blanket you'd
wrap yourself up in.

See, I love that.

Even just you saying that
makes me feel more comfortable.

Is that a chess clock?

Yes, would you like it?

- Why do you have a...
- [CELL PHONE RINGS]

Don't ask. One second.

- Hey sweetie.
- Am I fat?

- No.
- Mark said I was fat.

He should talk. He's fat.

- Who's fat?
- No one you know.

I'm heading into my first session

so I've got to talk to you later.

Okay, hey, I'm going to the gym.

- Good luck.
- Okay.

Maybe turn that off?

Yes, I'm doing that right now.

A little admin.

I'm going to be in the room with you

- for your first few patients.
- I love that.

There's a good chance
that I'll interrupt

and correct your approach.

It might seem nit-picky,

but it's about establishing good habits

so you don't say something
that ruins the life of a patient

forever and for all time.

Could I do that?

I'm just kidding.

- You ready?
- Not really.

- Questions?
- So many.

Just remember, be the blanket.

- You ready to be the blanket?
- I think so.

- Then say it.
- Be the blanket?

If it's a question,
we're already in trouble.

I'm going to be the blanket.

There she is.

Now let's go fix some people!

- It's nice to meet you.
- Thanks for coming in.

So based on what I
see here in your file,

- I have a couple of questions.
- [CLEARS THROAT]

Why don't you tell us
what brought you in today?

Or that.

My mother-in-law is unbelievable.

She picks at me, and picks at me,

nothing's good enough for her,

but when I try to speak up for myself,

- my husband sides with her.
- Tell me about it.

When my husband and
I first got together...

[CLEARS THROAT]

Why don't we focus on Amy's experiences

and talk about positive strategies

to help her deal with her mother-in-law?

Or that.

You're hot. Like bangable hot.

What are you, like 50?

Ryan, I think you're being provocative

to try to get a reaction from me.

Why don't we talk about
why you might be doing that?

[CLEARS THROAT]

Sorry, I had to clear my
throat for real that time.

I have a patient of my
own. You're doing great.

Mrs. Mandelbaum, I'm sorry
to say our time is up.

I've really enjoyed
talking with you today.

Oh, can I just say that

I've seen more than my share
of therapists, Dr. Jamie,

but this is the first time in forever

that I actually felt heard.

Would it be all right
if I came back tomorrow?

Absolutely, I look forward to it.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

- She's very good.
- I agree.

Yeah, pushes us hard
enough to work up a sweat.

But not so hard that we die.
That's always a plus.

Well, I'll tell ya, I don't
know how we're gonna

do this again tomorrow, buddy.

We're gonna be pretty sore.

I tell ya what's good for that.

Stripping down, taking
a nice long steam.

Come on.

You know what?

- I've got to run.
- Why, what's up?

I've got a... nothing. A work thing.

I thought you weren't working today.

I know, yes,

but what happened when
we were working out,

suddenly the blood went to my brain

for the first time in years.

And I suddenly remembered
I've got a... I've got a...

I've got a meeting with a client.

- You're not gonna shower?
- Yeah, nah.

I'll shower at home.

You're going out in the
street all sweaty and dirty?

Yeah. The streets are already

sweaty and dirty... I'll fit right in.

All right, whatever.
I'll see you tomorrow.

Okay, see ya.

Keep at it, you'll get there.

Ow.

Go get me some chips.

Huh? Go.

Go get Daddy chips.

Go in the kitchen and get chips.

Really? Look at you.

Look how smart you are!

If this works out, I may
never have to get up again.

Here he comes with my chips.

My potato...

Okay, if this is a
comment about my weight,

I find it a little passive-aggressive.

Hey, how was the gym?

Hey, uh, fine.

My legs are a little
sore, but never mind me.

How was your first day?
Were the other kids nice?

It was phenomenal.

- Yeah? Tell me, tell me.
- I mean, it was awful.

Mostly it was terrible.
I made rookie mistakes.

Well, that's part of the process.

Tonya was so patient.

But as hard as it was,

as mentally exhausting
as really listening is,

I think I can do this.

My last patient was
this lovely older woman

who told me I helped.

I helped!

- Look at you.
- Look at me.

- What else?
- Why wouldn't you get naked with Mark?

Sweetie, you've got to
signal a turn like that.

You...

- How would you even know...
- He told Tonya, Tonya told me.

- What was the problem?
- Nothing, it was... no.

But he wanted to take a steam.

What does that even have
to do with being naked?

Don't you wear a towel in there?

Yes, but you gotta take
your clothes off first

and then go get a towel.

And the towels are,
like, four steps away,

which doesn't sound far, I know,

but when you're naked, the
distance is exaggerated.

So take a towel first,
wrap it around yourself,

and then take your
clothes off underneath.

Yeah, but I don't want people to think

I have an issue being naked.

- You do have an issue being naked.
- I understand.

Well, I suppose you've
seen your friends naked?

- Yes.
- Oh, really? Tonya?

- Yes.
- Fran?

- Yes.
- Lisa?

She's my sister. I've seen
her naked a million times.

- You've seen all your friends naked?
- Yes.

Was I out getting a paper?
Where did this happen?

Wherever.

Changing after swimming, after yoga.

All I'm saying is maybe

next time Mark asks you to take a steam,

put your weirdness
aside, and just do it.

A gesture for a friend.

I can't buy him a
tie, take him to lunch?

I've got to go straight to full-frontal?

Can we continue this in the kitchen?

I'm starving.

Are you coming?

I thought I was. Apparently not.

Whoa, whoa.

- She's very good.
- I agree.

- How's the soreness?
- Still pretty bad.

Well, at the risk of repeating myself,

you know what's good for that?

- A steam, right?
- Yup.

All right, come on. Definitely.

- Let's do it.
- Great.

Nothing like it to open the pores,

calm the mind,

release the toxins, let it all hang out.

You know what, though?

By the way, totally ready to do it.

Totally ready... ready
to... to... to sweat.

Definitely on board. Looking
forward to it, in fact.

The thing is, uh, I
just... I've got to...

I have a conference call.

You can take it here.

I... I know, I forgot my phone at home.

- Then use mine.
- No, it's a personal call.

So better I should use my own phone.

A personal conference call?

Right?

But this has been good, man.

It's been great hanging out together,

and incapacitating ourselves. It's good.

So hey, uh, let me buy you lunch.

I'll buy you lunch, okay? Maybe later.

I'll meet you at Ira's
in, like, an hour?

Fine.

Huh? My treat, buddy.

Okay.

I swear, it's like looking
in a mirror, am I right?

Yes!

Let's discuss that. Is that
something you often feel,

that people aren't being nice to you?

I don't know, I...

who cares about some old lady?

I do. Lots of people do.

I'd like to meet them.

When did this feeling start?

Perhaps after your husband passed?

You're a very perceptive young lady.

Oh, my sweet, sweet Jerry.

We had 55 glorious years together.

Raised two beautiful
children. Such a life I had.

Sounds wonderful.

A lovely house.

Jerry, those kids.

And a... a sweet little dog.

And now Jerry's gone,

the kids moved far away,

and I'm gonna starve and die alone.

I'm sorry you're having those fears,

and I don't mean to minimize them,

but I'm pretty sure
you're not gonna starve.

Well, don't be so sure.
I'm hopeless in the kitchen.

I can't... can't even make an egg.

Well, have you considered
using a food delivery service?

Those are dangerous.

I saw a report on the news.

Most of those people...

are murderers.

Well, nobody wants you to do anything

that would make you feel unsafe,

but we need to find ways

to help you become self-sufficient.

I want to take care of myself,

and I know I can.

I just need someone to
show me how to do it.

It can't be this easy.
You just put it in?

And wait for the bubbles.

Three minutes for a soft
yolk, five for hard-boiled.

After this,

can you show me how to make
a different kind of egg?

Over-easy, maybe?

Let's not get too advanced.

Let's walk before we run, shall we?

You're so right, Dr.
Jamie, you're so right.

- [CELL PHONE RINGS]
- I'll be right back.

Keep watching.

I will, I will, I will.

- Hi, Tonya.
- Where'd you go?

You disappeared after
your morning sessions.

I had to run an errand.

I'll be back in plenty
of time for my 2:00.

I should've let you know I was leaving.

You don't have to check in with me.

Dr. Jamie! I see bubbles!

Unless you're doing something
mind-blowingly not okay.

- Where are you?
- Tonya, I think I'm losing you.

- Was that Mrs. Mandelbaum?
- Yes.

Are you at her apartment?

Tonya, I think I'm losing you.

- Jamie.
- Okay, yes.

Do you have any idea how
inappropriate that is?

Does the term boundary
issue ring a bell?

Yes, you're right. I get it.

She needed help. I
didn't think it through.

Let me just explain it to her.

Oh, you'll explain,

but you'll do it here at the office

in the proper professional environment.

Come back and ask Mrs.
Mandelbaum to join you.

Got it.

Okay. One more question.

How do you get the egg part out?

Ow. Man, that workout...

everything hurts.

My jaw hurts from screaming
about how much my ass hurts.

Not... not enjoying your lunch?

It's delicious, and you are
a sad, warped little man.

What did I do?

Here you are, well into your 7th decade.

You can't handle being
naked with me, huh?

I mean, we've known each other, what?

Like a million years?

And you... and... I... I have
zero issues seeing you naked.

Well, Mark, seriously,

I... I don't understand why
this is so important to you.

Seriously, to what degree
will our friendship benefit

from me seeing your balls?

Don't ball-shame me, Paul.

I'm not.

I assume your balls
are very, very handsome.

But that's the thing, I'd
like to continue assuming.

If I see them, assuming
is out the window.

I don't understand you.

Mark, I swear, there's
a long list of things

I'd be happy to do with you.

Being naked is not on it.

All right, what is on the list?

Pretty much anything
else you can imagine.

Canoeing, kayaking, skydiving,
glass blowing, all good.

But only if we're dressed.

Yes! Well, who blows glass naked?

Yeah, you got an open flame, your balls

- are right at the flame height.
- Okay, okay.

I'm gonna need you two to
stop talking about balls.

Sorry.

Paul can't handle being naked with me.

I bet you've been naked with Ira.

- Never.
- What are you talking about?

- We've been naked together.
- Never!

Ah, come on! Our mothers
put us in the tub together

lots of times when we were little.

I have no memory of this.

Because you've blocked it out

because you are a
sad, warped little man.

Oh yeah, he might be on to something

'cause I think back to
that time in the tub,

you were pretty jumpy.

Well, obviously,

our relationship isn't
as meaningful to you

as I thought it was.

- Look, I swear...
- No, no, no!

I'll be all right.

I've got other friends
I can be naked with.

I'm sorry, but I feel
like I'm really connecting

with Mrs. Mandelbaum.

She told me yesterday our session

was the first time she ever felt heard.

I just did a deeper
dive into her records.

She saw Dr. Klein in May 2006.

"Patient stated 'The first
time she felt heard.'"

Dr. Kim, June 2010, "Patient
never felt heard before today".

Dr. Samuels, October
2018. Need I continue?

Oh, God.

Be happy you only had to make an egg.

Dr. Klein had to roast a whole chicken.

And Dr. Samuels, she got
him to re-grout her tub.

The woman is a master manipulator.

But she's so little and sweet.

Yeah, but sometimes we
gotta look past the sweet

and get to the sticky
the sweet leaves behind.

I cannot believe she tricked me.

Better you learned this lesson
sooner rather than later.

Now we are gonna go in there,

and you are gonna lay down the law,

set firm boundaries,

and do not under any circumstances

let her go all "old lady" on you.

I won't. I'm shutting this down now.

Talk about that. Now
let's go fix some people!

I'm not angry with you,

but if we're going to
continue our work together,

we need to set boundaries.

- Could you speak up?
- I'm so old.

Yes.

It was completely inappropriate
for me to come to your home.

I didn't ask you to come.

No, you didn't.

But you gave me a look,
and the next thing I knew,

I was across town boiling water.

It can never happen again.

Do you understand?

Mrs. Mandelbaum?

Yes, I understand!

- Hey.
- Hey, how was your day?

I made an egg and
beat up on an old lady.

You?

I, uh, I finished a half a
cab and possibly a squirrel.

You didn't get naked with Mark today.

What? He told Tonya?

No, I guessed because I know you.

Sweetie, I love Mark.

He makes me laugh,

which I'm better able to
appreciate fully clothed.

You need to get naked with Mark.

More to the point, I need
you to get naked with Mark.

I don't... why? Why do you...

'Cause he's your friend
and you need friends.

Believe me... where are you?

I'm on my way.

There are a lot of old,
lonely people out there,

and I don't want you
to become one of them.

Oh, sweetie, I have friends.

- Who?
- You're my friend.

I'm your wife. I don't count.

Remember your father,

the last couple of years of his life,

he only had your mother.

He leaned on her for everything.

It wasn't good for either of them.

I don't want us ending up that way.

And yes, the reality
is you're dying first.

Statistical probability, probability.

Right, so it may not be an issue,

but God forbid, I go first.

- Who will you have?
- I got, um...

I got Mabel.

She's gonna be off living her own life.

There's Ira.

All he talks about is
retiring to Italy with Lucia.

He's gonna be long gone.

Well... [SCOFFS] I don't understand

why this is suddenly
so important to you.

I want you to have someone other than me

that you can talk to
about personal things.

But, you know, guys, we
don't... we don't do that.

- What?
- Talk about personal things.

If we talked about them,
they wouldn't be personal,

now, would they?

That's terrible!

What we do is if something, you know,

serious or emotional comes up,

we say, "I'm here if you wanna talk".

And then you talk?

No. Am I not explaining this properly?

No, we never really talk.

Yeah. This is why you're not
allowed to have the babies.

Just tell me, years from
now, who will be your friend?

I...

Fine, I'll get naked with Mark.

Thank you.

[GROANS] Ughh.

- [KNOCKS TWICE]
- Now what?

Mrs. Mandelbaum's a no-show.

We had an appointment
scheduled for an hour ago.

Don't sweat it. She's a shrink jumper.

She probably got some new patsy

up to their elbows in
chicken cordon bleu.

She could have just cancelled.

What if something happened to her?

The old lady didn't have the courtesy

to cancel her free therapy
after you busted her hustle?

Let it go. Not showing up is her choice.

And do not go to that woman's place

to check on her.

- Tell me you hear me.
- I hear you.

Jamie, honey, I love you.

I love you dearly.

Mostly because you're one
of the most empathetic people

- I've ever met.
- Thank you.

But cut that shit out.

Empathy is great in a human being,

but unless you modulate it,

it is problematic for a therapist.

Leave Mrs. Mandelbaum be.

- Fine.
- Oh.

And get this thing outta here.

Mrs. Mandelbaum?

Hello?

Hello.

What are you doing here?

I'm doing a welfare check,

which is exactly what I'm required to do

when someone I'm supervising

expresses concern for
the welfare of a patient.

Why didn't you let me
know you were doing that?

Because I knew I could tell you here.

- All right, let me explain...
- [YIP]

What is that?

I've been thinking about Mrs. Mandelbaum

and what her real issue is.

It's not about making an
egg or re-grouting her tub.

- Uh-huh.
- The woman's lonely.

She doesn't need therapy.
She needs company,

something or someone to
love and pass the time with.

So you got her a dog.

She told me at one point
in her life, she had a dog.

Oh, look at the beautiful little puppy!

- Mrs. Mandelbaum...
- I got her for you.

For me? Oh!

Jamie has just started her hours

and she hasn't quite figured out

proper patient procedure yet.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Mandelbaum.

Well, you should be!

For trying to take my little doggy away.

Come here, come here, love bump.

A new dog is helping me
through a transitional moment

in my life... I thought maybe
she could do the same for you.

The woman... a genius.

All those losers you had
me talking to before...

they could all learn a
thing or two from her.

So could you, Mrs. Big Shot.

Come on, sugar puss.

Mama's gonna make you
a nice chicken breast.

And maybe some beef bourguignon.

Wait a minute. You know how to cook?

Oh, sweetheart, don't be naive.

- She's very good.
- I agree.

Are you in here? With all this steam,

I don't even know what
I was so worried about.

- I can't see a thing.
- One second.

And this is... you were so right.

Totally, totally great for the soreness.

So get in here already, you big galoot.

After all this build-up? Come on.

I'm finally giving you what you wanted.

I'm ready, buddy.

All right, get in here. Sit
right next to me, and l...

So where're you from?