Love Island (2015–…): Season 8, Episode 13 - Unseen Bits 2 - full transcript
It's time for another episode full of exclusive unseen action from the nation's favourite villa - all the flirting, all the fallouts, and all the fun and games are right here.
IAIN STIRLING:
'Your Saturday night LOLs...'
SPLUTTERING
'..starts...'
Are you guys ready?
'..right...'
LAUGHTER
'..now.'
# I'm here for a good time
Not a long time... #
'Get ready to see
the most exclusive unseen footage
'from the last seven days.'
GASPS
What the...?!
'Brace yourselves...'
SCREAMING
'..to be shocked..'
SQUEALING
'..as we ask the big questions.'
Why have I got an itchy bum?
'And you get to see a different side
to your Islanders.'
FUNNY VOICE: I can be, like,
really creepy at the same time.
'This is your weekly dose...
'of sun LOLs.'
OK, I'm the drama!
'It's...'
SHE SCREAMS
'..Love Island Unseen Bits!'
# I feel alive... #
Too spicy! Oh!
THEME MUSIC PLAYS
# I won't waste your high
Don't waste mine... #
IAIN STIRLING:
'Welcome to Love Island Unseen Bits.
'This is the insider's guide
'to the most talked-about villa
on planet Earth.'
# My heart goes
La di da, da di da... #
'It's been a right scream
this week...'
Oh! Oh-ho-ho-ho!
# La di da, da di da... #
'..as our Islanders
made a big splash.'
Whoo!
SQUEALING
'So, get ready for a big, fat,
humongous dollop of fun...'
GIGGLES
'..let go...
'and release the tension.'
DAMI FARTS LOUDLY,
LAUGHTER
I thought that was a helicopter.
'Sit down, grab a drink,
and kick off those high heels...'
Oh, couldn't somebody help me?
Can you do this shoe, please?
You do this one.
LAUGHTER
'..and get ready for an hour
of unmissable, unseen gems.
'Let's go.'
# My heart goes. #
'Now, as a Turkish soap actress,
Ekin-Su is no stranger to drama,
'and in her first few days
in the villa,
'she wanted
to make a good impression.'
RUSSIAN ACCENT:
Hello, my name is Lauren,
I'm from Russia,
this is very good to be here.
I know I'm very excited
to be with the very nice girls.
LAUGHTER
That can be your talent.
COCKNEY ACCENT:
I can sound like a man, as well.
'Ullo, my name's Dave,
and I work for the RNB.
I can't wait to get on it tonight
with the lads.
She's a man.
BABY VOICE:
I can talk like a baby as well.
And I can be, like,
really creepy at the same time.
That is terrifying.
If you ever wanna, like,
turn a guy off,
that is definitely the voice to do.
IAIN STIRLING: 'Not bad,
but I wouldn't give up your day job.
'Hang on, acting IS your day job.'
What other accents can you do?
Scottish?
SCOTTISH ACCENT:
I'm from Scotland.
I don't really know what to say,
but...
'That's a brilliant Scottish accent,
Ekin-Su.
'I can't believe I've been
doing it wrong all these years.
'The Islanders
are living their best lives.
'And obvs, they are soaking up
the Spanish culture.
'They can't get enough of chorizo,
tapas, and...'
Crumpets.
Oh, I hate crumpets!
I love crumpets.
Disgusting. Loads of butter.
Lots and lots of butter. Yeah!
I actually like them
soaked in butter.
Oh, my God...
Chocolate spread!
And it melts, like, yeah.
Or jam. I love jam on them.
Jam on a crumpet?
Ooh, it's good.
Thing is, I only eat raspberry jam.
Yeah, I like raspberry jam.
Raspberry jam is good on toast.
Yeah.
I just don't like toast.
Like, the smell just...
You don't like the smell of toast?
That's the most homely smell
in the world.
Do you know, it just reminds me,
you know in primary school,
the smell of the breakfast club,
or something.
LAUGHTER
I love toast.
I love toast.
'Whoa, girls!
'What a way to keep the avid
attention of the Italian stallion.
'He's used to fine Italian cuisine,
not crumpets.
'Why not try Paige's
traditional Welsh beverage?
'Strawberry smoothie...
with leaks.'
I think you need more water.
Davide... I'm an expert.
BLENDER WHIRS
Why is it coming out?
What's going on?
Lift it up.
Where's it coming out of?
SHE GASPS
# And they're like
It's better than yours
# Damn right
It's better than yours. #
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
I really wanted one of them.
You probably didn't
close it properly.
I did close it properly.
We can just do this.
LAUGHTER
# La la, la la, la
Warm it up
# La la, la la, la
The boys are waiting
# My milkshake brings all the boys
To the yard... #
That's really nice.
It's nice, isn't it?
# Damn right
It's better than yours
# I can teach you
But I have to charge. #
That's not bad.
IAIN STIRLING: 'That looks
delicious. Suck it up, guys.
'So, what else is on the breakfast
menu for this year's Islanders?'
Is this your pancake?
Yeah, the oat pancake.
So it's oats AND milk?
I mean oats and egg?
Oats, erm, soya milk and eggs.
I thought you said
you were making an omelette?
No, it's like, we call it pancake
cos there's no flour in it.
So you put, like, peanut butter and
honey and then banana in it, yeah.
It's really tasty.
Don't look at it, it's really tasty.
Ekin-Su made this, like,
weird omelette thing.
It looked a bit disgusting to me!
It looks tempting, nothing's
too hot for me in the morning.
Like it?
No, it's yours.
IAIN: 'So I take it you're not a fan
of the traditional Turkish
'oat-egg-peanut-butter omelette,
Davide?'
Oh, look at you.
You cooking for your man?
LAUGHTER
Amber's cheffing up for her king.
She's cheffing up for her king.
Where's my breakfast?
Why am I doing this?
Even if he doesn't like it,
he better eat it!
LAUGHTER
Is this real?
So, you're serious, like?
Am I dreaming?
Enjoy! Well, even if it's not nice,
pretend it is.
LAUGHTER
This is delicious. This is the best
breakfast I've ever had. Aw!
She made me breakfast! You know,
a woman made me breakfast like that,
Miss Independent and that, you know?
Yeah!
I don't like mushrooms, though.
I like mushrooms, I love them!
LAUGHTER
I love mushrooms, man.
IAIN: 'Save the last mouthful
for me.
'And she's mopped it.'
I've gotta eat the scraps.
SHE GIGGLES
IAIN: 'Having enjoyed a good, hard
manicure off Tash
'in the Hideaway earlier this week,
'Andrew booked himself in for
a hair appointment at Salon Amber.'
This is what's good about nails,
you see. It is, it is. I can see.
Not sure I'm feeling this, you know?
Oh, my God!
Andrew doesn't look bad, though.
He looks like he's going to church!
LAUGHTER
Honestly, guys, come on.
I come to you for advice.
You look like Bart Simpson
when he's got somewhere good to go.
What do you mean?
It's not that bad, let's just wait.
This is awful.
It's very, like, Grease,
Greased Lightning.
I was gonna say, just put a little
hairband and it'd go like that.
Do you want some edges?
Oh, my God, edge control, please.
LAUGHTER
Sorry, I'm really amused by this.
I don't know what she's done.
Davide, are you good at hair?
What do you think? Ha-ha!
"What do you think?" Yes or no?
Can't wear a bra with it, though.
I know.
Save the day? Oh, much better!
Do you do the parting?
What do you want? A parting.
You want the...
What are we thinking? Side parting.
What, no parting, or... No too much.
Yeah, no parting or this.
It's not so, like...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's nice.
Andrew, what do YOU like?
It doesn't matter what Andrew likes!
IAIN STIRLING: 'I wonder if he's
going anywhere nice on his holidays.
'Oh, this IS his holidays.
'This week saw the arrival
of new boy Jacques.
'He doesn't spell his name
with an X, like Basement Jaxx,
'but he does have
an ex to his name.'
# I used to know her
# But she's got a new best friend. #
I'm not being funny, but from
the back of it, it looks like my ex.
I'm hoping he's five foot,
pale as anything,
nose the size
of the Eiffel Tower.
IAIN STIRLING: 'But it turned out
Luca and Jacques
'have a lot more in common.'
Feel small, you know.
LAUGHTER
I feel small.
Welcome to the crew!
Me and you are sweet, aren't we?
And we ain't even that small,
they're just humongous.
Big boys, eh?
How old are we all, anyway?
I'm 23. Are you 23?
How old are you?
I'm 23.
There we go.
23 last week.
I was literally a few weeks ago.
Taurus! Yeah, there we go.
Yeah, no wonder we're pricks, eh?
LAUGHTER
IAIN STIRLING:
'Height, age, star signs...
'and Gemma says
she doesn't have a type!'
# I don't need a future
# I don't need your past. #
IAIN STIRLING: 'It was only
his first night in the villa,
'but straightaway,
Jacques brought the drama...
'and Tash brought the crisps.'
I see your cheeky smile,
you're literally loving it.
ANDREW: I couldn't care less,
to be honest.
No, no, you do care.
Man doesn't care,
he doesn't care, let it go, Luca.
No, but I would care.
Yeah, YOU would care, Luca,
but Andrew's Andrew. You're Luca.
And Andrew doesn't care.
Exactly.
IAIN STIRLING:
'Care for a crisp, Andrew?
'I wonder what flavour
those crisps are?
'Dramas-an cheese... and onion?
'Luckily for
the Unseen Bits viewers,
'I arranged for Paige and Tash
'to record an exclusive post
on the night's drama.'
OK. All right, gal,
what's gone on tonight?
A lot of stuff is starting
to kick off for no reason.
We don't even know why,
we're just here for the ride.
And apparently,
I was part of the drama. So...
Honestly, you really do have, like,
good vibes.
People have been
wanting to make drama.
I want the drama.
Am I the drama? Drama?
I don't think I'm the drama. Drama.
BOTH: OK, I'm the drama!
LAUGHTER
Think I am!
PAIGE LAUGHS
But, no, not us.
Oh. Are we even filming?
No!
LAUGHTER
We ain't even filming.
OK.
IAIN STIRLING: 'Sometimes, I press
the BLEEP button in my VO booth,
'just for BLEEP and giggles.
'Come on, girls,
just press the BLEEP red button
'on your phones next time!
'Now, I admit sometimes I forget to
flush the loo, or leave the seat up.
'But they're obviously just a few
of my many charming quirks.'
LUCA: What is your worst habit?
Worst habit, man? What's yours?
Probably talking too much.
Yeah, I was gonna say that.
Like, I was gonna say that is it!
Just talking shit!
Your talk is like my farts, man,
it doesn't stop. It doesn't stop.
It keeps coming out.
You know!
Squeezing more and more shit out.
I always, like,
used to pick my nose, mate.
Did you ever eat it?
No. I have tried to...
You tasted it.
Course I have.
Just taste a little bit.
Yeah.
To know what it tastes like,
you know?
Everyone's tried a bogey,
haven't they? Yeah.
I ain't even having that.
I picked a girl's nose before,
tried... My nose is itchy now.
You've tried a bird's bogey,
tried it out? Yeah, I picked it.
Cos she didn't think I'd do it,
like. And you ate it?
Yeah.
What, just to seem, like, sexy?
Yeah, I think,
obviously, she was, like...
She digged it? We were close
after that, like, obviously.
That's a different type of bonding,
you know.
Swear down?
Yeah.
Did you pick it for her?
Or did she... Yeah, I picked it.
She didn't obviously
want me to pick it and I did it.
It was a...
LAUGHTER
Did it taste all right?
It just tasted like normal.
Just a little bit salty,
you know, that...
CHOMPING,
SPITTING
No, man.
Would you not do that to Gemma?
Who?
Would you not pick Gemma's nose?
Bogey? No chance, man.
No chance, no?
She's sexy, but not that sexy.
She is.
DAMI LAUGHS
No, no, it'll properly taste
like apples or something, man. Yeah.
Like little, like, gummy bears.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm gonna ask her later
if I can try one.
What do you reckon she'd say?
She'll say, "Of course not, man.
Don't even try it.
"Not a chance, Luca."
Do you reckon, stick, like...
She's got a small nose, I could
stick my pinky straight up there.
You just have to do it.
Or if you see it, just help
and pick it. Like,
"There's something in your nose."
I dunno why you've put that
in my head, you know.
Yeah, definitely, it's not
normal. Definitely not, man.
IAIN STIRLING: 'So, did you get
the pick ick? Yeah, knew you would.'
MUSIC: 'Morning Mood'
by Edvard Grieg
IAIN STIRLING:
'Here's an exclusive peek
'into the Islanders'
day-to-day life.
'Everybody
waking up in their sunglasses.
'But what you really
want to know is...
'Find out after this short break.'
IAIN STIRLING: 'Welcome back
to Love Island Unseen Bits,
'the show where we bring you
exclusive unseen clips.
'This time, we are going retro.'
# Oh, baby, baby
How was I supposed to know? #
That's not bad!
IAIN STIRLING:
'Hmm, I'd leave it to Britney.'
# Something wasn't right here. #
IAIN STIRLING: 'Let's get back
to some unseen jumps...'
Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa.
'..and bumps.'
# Hit me, baby, one more time... #
# Hit me, baby, one more time... #
IAIN STIRLING: 'Before I delve
deeper into my treasure trove
'of unseen clips,
'I know you're all gagging to find
out what happened to Amber next.
'Amber?'
Ow!
SHE WHIMPERS
# Hit me, baby, one more time. #
SHE SOBS
IAIN STIRLING: 'Ouch! I felt that.'
Ow.
IAIN STIRLING: 'With an Italian
Renaissance man like Davide
'in the villa,
conversation can easily turn
'to Italy's rich culture
and heritage, the fall of Rome,
'opera, and...'
Pizza. Er...
What's your favourite topping?
Sometimes I go also for easy stuff,
like a normal Margherita.
I knew you were gonna say that.
Is that how you like your girls?
Plain? Sorry.
EKIN-SU LAUGHS
As long as it's a good one,
even if it's plain, it's nice.
And do you eat your pizza
thin or thick?
Wait, this is a trick question,
so whatever answer you give me...
is to do with your women as well.
I don't really...
I mean, sometimes she's thin,
but she's shit, you know?
So it doesn't really matter,
really... Oh, my God.
..if she's thin or not,
as long as it's a good pizza.
It's about the taste. Yeah.
How moist it is, right?
Exactly.
Gotcha.
A bit like my bananas.
Sometimes, they're rotten.
LAUGHTER
Sometimes, they're fresh, too fresh.
Sometimes, they're too small,
not grown.
And sometimes, they're really big.
Mm.
You know?
So I quite like it in the middle.
So you need just to test
and see the taste.
You need to try
before to buy, right.
LAUGHTER
IAIN STIRLING:
'Are we still talking about pizza?
'If so, I'll have a Sloppy Giuseppe
and a portion of dough balls.
'I've no idea
what that says about me.
'After a hard week of cracking on,
grafting and chatting
'about their types on paper,
our Islanders like nothing more
'than to kick back, relax and
discuss their favourite subject.'
What's, like, the wildest first date
you guys have ever been on?
I've not done anything interesting
as a first date, I'll be honest.
I've had, like,
the most embarrassing one.
It was a Tinder date and I'm
cringing just thinking about it.
We went to the cinema
and watched a horror movie,
and this guy just sweated
the whole time, profusely sweated.
Was he scared, or what?
I don't know. Or cos he was hot?
It could have been
a mixture of both, but either way,
it was just unnecessary and I was,
like, I wanna go home.
Anyway, he drove me home,
and rather than turning off the car
when you're chatting, he left
his headlights or whatever on
and talked to me.
His car fully broke down outside.
The battery died. Oh, my God!
I just left him there.
I just went home and left him
sat outside my house.
That is pain. Oh, my God!
That is actually pain.
He literally wound down his window,
"Oh, my battery's died."
I was, like, "OK, bye."
OK, bye!
Yeah, I just left it. It was...
Dying.
What about you guys?
Have you had any embarrassing ones?
Not really, no.
Have you not?
Not really embarrassing,
I didn't get caught,
but there was the day I found out
I was lactose intolerant.
We were eating on a rooftop,
and I was eating
creamy, creamy spaghetti,
and it literally,
my stomach and all that
started doing,
started making music
and all this stuff.
Then the only toilet was beside us,
so I had to, like, hold my arse
and run all the way to the street
to a McDonald's and I just shat.
I even vomited as well, man.
And then I had to come back
and just pretend nothing happened.
Literally, like.
Did she not gather
anything happened?
No, I said I was talking
to the bartender downstairs,
just trying to see
what drinks they have.
Why did you go to Maccies?
What the fuck!
What about you, Indiyah?
We're talking about
most embarrassing
or worst dates you've been on?
OK, so, it's not even on a date.
So, basically, the guy I was talking
to, it was after, like, the club.
He picked me up to drop me home,
and I was a little bit tipsy,
but I needed to pee. And with me,
when I need to go, I need to go.
So, he's picked me up, we're
driving, I'm like, stop the car now,
I need to wee!
He's like, can you not wait?
We're nearly home, like, just wait.
I was like, I can't!
So, I've thought he's slowed down,
obviously not as much as I thought,
I've opened the door,
and I've 007'd out the car
and ran to go do a wee,
and obviously just adrenaline rush,
not thinking about it.
I've come back to the car.
This is how this happened.
Grazed knees, like, slit
through my pants, blood everywhere,
broken nail. Jeez!
Literally, it was so embarrassing.
IAIN STIRLING:
'Sounds nasty, Indiyah,
'but when you've gotta go,
you've gotta go.
'Gimme, gimme more,
I hear you scream and shout.
'So here's another unseen gem.
'Give it up for Amber, baby,
one more time.'
LOUD THUD
Oh, my God! Are you OK?
Oh, my God!
I'm sorry.
Wait, lift me up.
# Oops, I did it again. #
It's been a rough day.
It's actually been a rough day. No!
Is it stuck in there?
It's stuck in there.
IAIN STIRLING:
'It's Britney, bitch.'
LAUGHING: She's OK.
'Both Afia and Paige
wanted a piece of Jacques
'and were bursting
with Britney references,
'but now, I'm all out of them.
'Anyway, he ended up
coupling up with Paige...' Paige.
'..meaning Afia went home.'
There will never be another Afia,
though.
Never.
Group hug, group hug.
See you! Bye!
Bye!
IAIN STIRLING: 'But, you know what,
this will make her "Stronger".
'Oops, I did it again.
'Another Britney reference, dammit.'
# Britney, bitch. #
'Following Afia's emotional exit,
'the boys' thoughts quickly turned
to something more macho
'to take their mind off it.'
You had, like, anything done to you?
Like, Botox?
No. Not even your abs
just stuck on, like?
LAUGHTER
Like one of them Spider-Man
costumes. That's mad, innit?
I honestly can say this,
probably, with my chest out,
they're some of the best tits
I've seen. Yeah, honestly.
See, when he tenses them...
BLOWS RASPBERRY
Mate,
if I was a girl in bed next to him,
I'd be insecure about mine,
looking at them.
Yeah.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Well, most of them are.
LAUGHTER
Mate, they're like, perky,
everything.
IAIN STIRLING: 'It's true.
Davide does have a lovely pair.
'Anyway, moving on.
'Oh, dear, it would appear
that Luca and Ikenna
'have broken the golden rule
'of never looking through
a girl's stuff.'
Imagine being a girl.
How do they keep track
of all this stuff? Fuck that, bro.
I just wake up, shower,
brush my teeth.
Do you know what I'm saying, like?
How do you know where to start?
Yeah, like,
do you start on your eyes,
do you start on your face
or on your lips?
Whose is that?
That's nearly
my whole set of hair gone, mate.
What the fuck are you guys
doing in here? Get out now!
We were saying
how hard it is to be a girl.
Like, how do you remember
all this shit?
How do you know where to start?
So, you start with your face,
so you moisturise the face.
Do you wanna do one of our make-ups?
Do one of us.
You can do a bit of mine.
So...
Be gentle, though. I'm fragile.
..you've got lovely green eyes,
so let's start off
with a warm brown palette.
Let's go for the inner corners.
Make my lips big as well.
All right, let's overline the lips,
then.
# Yes, I'm a big deal. #
What the fuck, man? It looks like
I've been to a funeral!
What is it? Bigger?
Nah. No, no.
Right, let me wipe
the under black eye.
Mate, look at my lips!
Put eyelashes on me, if you want.
Can I? Yeah.
I dunno, I do like being pampered,
though.
What's this?
To brush your beard or what?
That's to brush your pubes, mate.
No, it's not. Yeah, it is.
No, it's not. No, it's not.
Wait, oh, no, it's not.
Fuck off!
Just relax right now.
I'll tell you when to open,
because it just needs to dry.
LAUGHTER
Come, come. You need to lips
Gemma like that, bro. Come.
# OK, dolls,
You all know what time it is
# Come on! #
Oh, my God, look at his face.
What?
He's got make-up on!
I swear to fuck, is that my make-up?
SHRIEKING AND LAUGHTER
Oh, my days.
Listen, all I'm saying is,
I'm the best-looking girl here now.
Facts!
Fuck that!
Whoo! What? We didn't even
get to take a picture.
Did you take a picture of him?
# That's all! #
IAIN STIRLING: 'Break time now,
but before you go,
'here's an unseen clip
of the villa,
'and my question is very simple...
'Come back after the break
to find out.'
# It's not right
# But it's OK
# I'm gonna make it anyway
# Pack your bags up and leave
# Don't you dare
Come runnin' back to me
# Me, me, me. #
IAIN STIRLING: 'Welcome
to Love Island Unseen Bits.
'Think of us as the experimental,
avant-garde studio theatre,
'round the back
of the main auditorium,
'and, like most experimental
theatre, we are unseen.'
LAUGHTER
'We have fruity dialogue...'
Lemon four, lemon five.
Lemon five, lemon six.
Lemon six, lemon three.
Lemon three, "leven" seven.
SHOUTS,
LAUGHTER
'..improvisational dance...'
BOTH: Hot... spicy. Oooh!
THEY LAUGH
'..and partial nudity.'
SCREAMS AND YELLS
'And remember, if you don't like it,
'it's because
you don't understand it!
'We're far too clever
for you people.
'Before the break,
we saw Amber, Indiyah and Ekin-Su
'ascend the villa stairs,
'and I bet you're on the edge
of your seats to find out
'what did happen next.
Well, wait no longer.'
THEY SCREAM
Fuck off!
I didn't see him!
You even saw me and you're still
screaming. What's wrong with you?
I'm saw you, I didn't scream!
It was them two.
# It's gonna be a good, good day
# It's gonna be a good, good day
Good, good day. #
IAIN STIRLING: 'Rules of the villa -
the balcony is open to ladies
'only between the hours
of 8am and midday.
'Men only admitted
bearing coffee and compliments.'
Aye-aye.
Morning.
There you go.
Cheers.
Oh, shit!
Oh, can you get rid?
Can someone throw it over, please?
Oh, gosh. Where do you want it?
He's gonna do some bullshit!
Don't put it on us!
THEY SCREAM
That's out of order!
Is that a frog?
IAIN STIRLING: 'Er, no,
that's not a frog, Ekin-Su.
'It's actually my little friend
Hamish from Dundee.
AS HAMISH: 'Ah'm the latest arrival
in the villa.
'Ah can't wait to get grafted
and do bits with the Islanders.
'Those Islanders
better not "bug" me off!
AS HAMISH: 'What's this?
Pick 'n' mix?
'Mah favourite, giz one!'
SCREAMS
You joker!
TEXT ALERT
Oh, Islanders,
the Hideaway is open tonight.
CHEERING
IAIN AS HAMISH:
'Hey, ladies, it's Hamish.
'Can ah come with you girls
to get ready for the Hideaway?'
CHATTER AND SCREAMING
Open the door, so we can run!
Where is it?
Hold it open.
Where is it?
Just there.
Where is it?
Hold it open.
I'm scared!
Oh, it's only a baby.
Oh, my God, I feel sick.
It's fine. It's fine.
I can't do it. I can't do it.
IAIN AS HAMISH:
'You can run, but you can't hide.
'I'll be back
when you least expect me. Bye-bye!'
GRUNTING AND HUFFING
EKIN-SU: The noises, go on,
give me the noises.
DEEP GROAN,
PUFFING
Come on, you can do one more.
Aah!
IAIN STIRLING:
'Urgh! What's going on here?
'I don't think we can show this
on ITV2 at 9pm, can we?'
You don't wanna hurt yourself.
No rest, baby.
IAIN STIRLING: 'Ooh!
It's just Davide pumping iron.'
# Don't be shy, girl, go bananza
Shake ya body like a belly dancer
# Hey, ladies, drop it down
# Just wanna see you
Touch the ground
# Don't be shy, girl, go bananza
# Shake ya body
Like a belly dancer... #
Don't put me off with your face.
HE GRUNTS
OK.
Nice work out.
HE PANTS
Are they pumping?
Your veins are popping out.
Yeah, I won't stay all day
like this. Hulk.
Italian Hulk.
And then you just
have the Turkish kebabs.
THEY LAUGH
You know, instead of abs,
it's kebabs.
Inside the kebab is full of
a lot of good things, you know?
Oh, thanks.
IAIN STIRLING: 'Oh, no,
they're back to sexual innuendos
'about food again.'
# Don't be shy, girl, go bananza
# Shake ya body
Like a belly dancer. #
# We know
They'll never understand... #
IAIN STIRLING: 'Remember the Shimmer
And Shine party the other night?'
# Tonight we dance
Tonight we dance... #
'With champagne, shouting,
'and some very shabby shimmying.'
MUTTERS A TUNE
I can't keep up with that, mate.
'And after playing
rock-paper-scissors,
'Remi and Jay joined the party...'
# Tonight, we dance... #
Oh, my God.
Hi, how you doing? I'm Jay.
What's your name?
Jay, nice to meet you.
Amber.
# Tonight, we dance... #
'..leaving a few of our Islanders
speechless,
'as this unseen bit shows.'
THEY LAUGH
Why was you being so awkward then?
I wasn't being awkward.
I don't care, like.
I wasn't even being awkward.
I think you were.
You were being awkward,
to be honest. I think... Me?
You kept looking at me,
I was trying not to look at you.
No. Nah!
Cos it's childish.
Yeah, boy, I won't lie,
what's that, like?
Come on, man, like.
Come on, darling.
Why you getting nervous to me?
Mm? You're getting nervous.
No, I wasn't getting nervous.
I don't care.
I wasn't getting nervous.
HE SIGHS
IAIN STIRLING:
'Now, I'm not an expert,
'but I think Remi and Jay
have got him bricking it.'
LANGUID FIESTA MUSIC PLAYING
'Sometimes, with the hot
Majorcan sun beating down on them,
'the Islanders just want to relax
and chill.
'Well, some do...'
This day was dead, like.
Day was dead, man!
It was boring, so we were
like, "Let's spice it up.
"Let's play some games," you know?
Yeah, we did a sack race.
Very self-explanatory.
You guys ready?!
Three, two, one... go!
STARTING PISTOL FIRING,
ENERGETIC FIESTA MUSIC PLAYING
THEY CLAMOUR
Gemma cheated.
Gemma cheated a little bit.
She ran instead of... Yeah,
she ran instead of hopping, man.
Literally, one foot
was basically still out.
So I had to disqualify
a point for that.
Gemma, like, she let the team down.
Yeah.
THEY CHEER
Yeah, Davide really took us by...
Leap of faith at the end.
Leap of flipping faith, man.
Took three of us out.
If you watch Davide's leap
and in slow-motion...
Yeah, it was good.
Golden, man. Golden.
They won the game because of that.
This team win!
THEY CHEER
And then we did
the wheelbarrow race,
lifting up, and you just...
You know, like a wheelbarrow?
PAIGE: Three, two, one... go!
Go, go, go, go! Come on, Davide!
Go, Davide, go!
THEY SHOUT ENCOURAGEMENT
Ekin-Su... Yeah. Ekin-Su...
Ekin-Su was a bit terrible, no?
Me and Jacques left them for dead.
Yeah, you and... We lapped them.
Yeah, him and Jacques literally took
off the course, man. Honestly.
THEY CHEER
Listen, the Olympics
weren't ending there.
The last game... I don't really know
what was going on with that game.
Pass the banana. You was passing
bananas with your feet,
and then you go around and around.
Are you guys ready? Let's go.
ALL: Whoo!
Three, two, one.
Come on, come on, come on.
Pick it up.
You pick it...
DAVIDE: Easy peasy!
And then the hosts had to eat
the banana, so, I was on his team...
You deep-throated that shit!
THEY CLAMOUR
Paige was slacking.
Easy like that.
Gag reflex don't work sometimes, so,
you know...
Swallow that thing whole.
You know, I got my man...
Yes! He won it for us, to be fair.
IAIN STIRLING:
'Well done, lads. Good commentating.
'Time to give you lot at home
the chance to win an epic £50,000.
'Plus...
start planning that dream holiday,
'as you could be jetting off
on the trip of a lifetime.
'Yep, courtesy of
VIBE by Jet2 Holidays,
'you'll be getting up to £6,000
to book a fantastic holiday,
'and you can take five pals along.
'Plus you'll have two years
to take it.
'Don't forget, there's that tax-free
50K waiting for you at home.
'For your chance to win the lot -
there's no grafting involved -
'just enter via the app,
or go to the website.
'Good luck.'
# We don't wanna
Fall out of love again, love again
# Too afraid of another chance
We run and we run and we run... #
IAIN STIRLING: 'Welcome back
to Love Island Unseen Bits.
'One of your required daily portions
of juicy unseen Love Island fruit.
'We promote a healthy love life...'
Thank you for that,
I really appreciate it.
'..a healthy digestive system...'
LENGTHY LOUD FART
SCOFFS
What did you eat, an elephant?
Man, it's the mashed potato.
'..and a healthy diet.'
I heard that, um...
..if you swallow,
that has as much calories as eating,
like, two burgers.
What? No! Really?
That is dirty!
'I have put on weight
since being here in Spain,
'but I assure you, it really was
from eating too many burgers.
'They say the best way
to a man's heart
'is through his stomach,
'as new boys Remi and Jay discovered
in this unseen clip.'
Morning, fellas.
ALL GREET HIM
Have you guys had breakfast?
Not yet, no.
Obviously, you know, like, you sing
a song in football and stuff.
The boys have to cook
on their first day.
Sorry, what was that?
You have to show
us your best cooking skills
and cook for all of us.
JAY LAUGHING: Is that right? Yeah.
All right, what d'you want?
Whatever you've got.
All right, well,
my breakfast is pretty basic, man.
What, you're cooking up
for all of us?
I'm just gonna drink these, man.
JACQUES: How many, lad?
I'll do five egg whites
and one whole egg.
Yeah, honestly,
I've been doing this
since I was, like,
12 years old, man.
Are you drinking that?
Oi, that's too much.
I wanna watch this.
Oh, my Lord.
Yeah, lovely. Lovely.
Oh, that's fucking gross, that, bro.
Down the hatch, bro-skis.
What does that taste like?
I don't taste it, man.
Jay had five eggs.
So I thought, "Listen, this geezer
ain't coming to my villa
"and proving that he's top dog."
"So I had to show him who's boss
and have one egg.
You know what I mean?
Just be a man, man. Be a man?
Fucking man.
You ready?
Do it, man!
Chug it, man.
Eat it!
LAUGHTER
Oh, you done it? You done it?
LAUGHTER
That aftertaste is naughty, man.
That is horrible!
How soon do the abs come out after?
Ha-ha.
JAY: Easy-peasy.
Oh, my God, that's disgusting.
IAIN STIRLING: 'Overnight abs?
Luca, are you yolking?
'I'm so sorry, it's the heat.
And the producer was egging me on.
'It can get lonely here in Spain.
'So to keep me company,
I've brought my pet parrot, Klopp.
'But he's escaped.
'Have a look at this unseen clip
of the girls chatting on the daybeds
'while I try to find him.'
I've not managed, really,
speaking to anyone.
I feel like I've just
fucking come down.
He has been quieter today, though.
Mm.
It's the pressure as well
of everyone being like,
"Oh, you're so cute together."
Yeah, I know. And that's it.
So I go in and say,
you may have noticed, I'm...
BIRD SQUAWKING
Oh, my God, this bird
needs to shut up.
GIRLS MUTTER IN AGREEMENT
IAIN STIRLING: 'Klopp, what are you
doing in the villa? Come here!'
I hear everyone go to sleep,
and I'm still talking an hour later.
I'm, like, you can't shut me up.
You had an extra bird in your bed
as well, eh?
Standard, that, innit?
LAUGHTER,
BIRD CHIRPS
Even the bird finds it funny.
LAUGHTER
Oi! Pack it in, will you!
We're speaking!
BIRD TWEETS FURIOUSLY
Oi! Shut up!
LOUD TWEETING
IAIN STIRLING:
'Don't laugh, it's not funny.
'He's a very naughty parrot.
'Islanders,
everyone assemble at the fire pit
'and play a pointless game
about your sex lives.'
Kissing, just basic.
'This one's a game
where they have to prove
'if they've actually listened
'to anything their other half
has told them.
'It's a bit cringe, really.'
Girls, where is the most outrageous
place your partner's had sex?
Car, I have no idea.
Nightclub toilet.
Ugh. Jesus Christ, Jacques.
Hey, yes, guys.
I said lab.
Yeah, it was a bus
with people on it.
THEY EXCLAIM
Pressed the bell
as soon as he finished.
Ding a-ling a-ling a-ling!
LAUGHTER
On a bloody bus. What the hell?
Like...
SHE LAUGHS
Boys, what is your partner's
favourite sex position?
You need to get this one right.
That's fucking boring, mate.
THEY LAUGH
Spooning.
That isn't sex, mate, is it?
You can have sex spooning.
I've put the same.
In a spooning position.
You have an understanding, guys.
Spooning, so... It's classy.
HE EXHALES
Broken eagle.
Broken eagle.
Reverse cowgirl.
THEY CHUCKLE
Reverse cowgirl.
Mm-mm!
Missionary, legs up.
Missionary, legs up.
Doggy style.
LAUGHTER
Watch out, Picasso.
You know, I knew in Italian
it's pecorina.
But I was not remembering
about doggy style.
ALL: Doggy.
What is your partner's
biggest turn-on?
Ooh.
LAUGHTER
Davide!
Big hands.
Big hands. Big hands.
It's all included.
With the word Davide,
it's all-inclusive.
Head.
THEY CHUCKLE
I didn't know if he meant, like,
head shape,
or head as in down below.
So I was a little bit confused,
because I've not mentioned that,
and he's not done
anything of the sort.
Nice hands/fingers.
That was definitely
not the correct answer.
Well done, guys.
The winning couple is...
THEY DRUM ROLL
IAIN STIRLING: 'You can drum roll
all you like, guys,
'there ain't no winner.
It's just a stupid game.'
CHEESY GAME SHOW MUSIC
'Cue cheesy game show music.
Because, oh, yes, people,
'it's time for Unseen Bits...
'This week, I asked,
"What's your best party trick?" '
Oh, party trick? OK.
I don't have a party trick.
I AM the party trick.
So, yeah,
I know what a party trick is.
Like, something that you do
to impress people, right?
My party trick is in my pants.
I'm not gonna show you that.
My attempt
at a Stacey Solomon impression.
AS STACEY: Oh, my God, oh, my God!
When my agent told me
I was doing an advert for Iceland,
I ran home, got my hat,
my passport and my gloves!
This. You know, that feels a bit...
Robot. No, I wouldn't do that.
I do a little dance
and then boom, boom.
I mean, I can...
BARKING
Sounds like a dog, don't it?
BEAT BOXING
I can scream.
Like, a really high pitch.
And then it goes onto another level
and then it's, like, literally,
like, makes your ears ring,
that it's that high.
I'm gonna juggle!
Two things.
I might slip in a third,
but we'll start easy and light
for now.
I don't know when I figured out
I had this talent.
Watch my head, all right.
You ready?
But not that...
HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM
I've got loads of party tricks,
actually, now I think of it.
I can do, like, with my arms.
ARM FART
Can I get a third in?
I can flare my nostrils
really, really fast like a rabbit.
So, are you ready? Are you watching?
LEG FART
I can walk on my hands.
It is a very small room.
I can twist my tongue.
Don't hire me for any kids' parties,
or anything like that,
because they will not be impressed.
Fuck!
LAUGHTER
Thanks for watching!
IAIN STIRLING: 'Tune in next week
for another edition of...
'That's it, folks. Oh, hang on,
there's one more clip here.
'Luca does an impression of Iain.'
DRAWN-OUT: "Tomorrow night...
on Love Island..."
'Hey! That's my job.'
"..the Italian stallion
and the half-Italian..."
"Fishmonger."
'You boys leave it to the true
Scottish voice-over artist.
'See you all next week.'
'Your Saturday night LOLs...'
SPLUTTERING
'..starts...'
Are you guys ready?
'..right...'
LAUGHTER
'..now.'
# I'm here for a good time
Not a long time... #
'Get ready to see
the most exclusive unseen footage
'from the last seven days.'
GASPS
What the...?!
'Brace yourselves...'
SCREAMING
'..to be shocked..'
SQUEALING
'..as we ask the big questions.'
Why have I got an itchy bum?
'And you get to see a different side
to your Islanders.'
FUNNY VOICE: I can be, like,
really creepy at the same time.
'This is your weekly dose...
'of sun LOLs.'
OK, I'm the drama!
'It's...'
SHE SCREAMS
'..Love Island Unseen Bits!'
# I feel alive... #
Too spicy! Oh!
THEME MUSIC PLAYS
# I won't waste your high
Don't waste mine... #
IAIN STIRLING:
'Welcome to Love Island Unseen Bits.
'This is the insider's guide
'to the most talked-about villa
on planet Earth.'
# My heart goes
La di da, da di da... #
'It's been a right scream
this week...'
Oh! Oh-ho-ho-ho!
# La di da, da di da... #
'..as our Islanders
made a big splash.'
Whoo!
SQUEALING
'So, get ready for a big, fat,
humongous dollop of fun...'
GIGGLES
'..let go...
'and release the tension.'
DAMI FARTS LOUDLY,
LAUGHTER
I thought that was a helicopter.
'Sit down, grab a drink,
and kick off those high heels...'
Oh, couldn't somebody help me?
Can you do this shoe, please?
You do this one.
LAUGHTER
'..and get ready for an hour
of unmissable, unseen gems.
'Let's go.'
# My heart goes. #
'Now, as a Turkish soap actress,
Ekin-Su is no stranger to drama,
'and in her first few days
in the villa,
'she wanted
to make a good impression.'
RUSSIAN ACCENT:
Hello, my name is Lauren,
I'm from Russia,
this is very good to be here.
I know I'm very excited
to be with the very nice girls.
LAUGHTER
That can be your talent.
COCKNEY ACCENT:
I can sound like a man, as well.
'Ullo, my name's Dave,
and I work for the RNB.
I can't wait to get on it tonight
with the lads.
She's a man.
BABY VOICE:
I can talk like a baby as well.
And I can be, like,
really creepy at the same time.
That is terrifying.
If you ever wanna, like,
turn a guy off,
that is definitely the voice to do.
IAIN STIRLING: 'Not bad,
but I wouldn't give up your day job.
'Hang on, acting IS your day job.'
What other accents can you do?
Scottish?
SCOTTISH ACCENT:
I'm from Scotland.
I don't really know what to say,
but...
'That's a brilliant Scottish accent,
Ekin-Su.
'I can't believe I've been
doing it wrong all these years.
'The Islanders
are living their best lives.
'And obvs, they are soaking up
the Spanish culture.
'They can't get enough of chorizo,
tapas, and...'
Crumpets.
Oh, I hate crumpets!
I love crumpets.
Disgusting. Loads of butter.
Lots and lots of butter. Yeah!
I actually like them
soaked in butter.
Oh, my God...
Chocolate spread!
And it melts, like, yeah.
Or jam. I love jam on them.
Jam on a crumpet?
Ooh, it's good.
Thing is, I only eat raspberry jam.
Yeah, I like raspberry jam.
Raspberry jam is good on toast.
Yeah.
I just don't like toast.
Like, the smell just...
You don't like the smell of toast?
That's the most homely smell
in the world.
Do you know, it just reminds me,
you know in primary school,
the smell of the breakfast club,
or something.
LAUGHTER
I love toast.
I love toast.
'Whoa, girls!
'What a way to keep the avid
attention of the Italian stallion.
'He's used to fine Italian cuisine,
not crumpets.
'Why not try Paige's
traditional Welsh beverage?
'Strawberry smoothie...
with leaks.'
I think you need more water.
Davide... I'm an expert.
BLENDER WHIRS
Why is it coming out?
What's going on?
Lift it up.
Where's it coming out of?
SHE GASPS
# And they're like
It's better than yours
# Damn right
It's better than yours. #
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
I really wanted one of them.
You probably didn't
close it properly.
I did close it properly.
We can just do this.
LAUGHTER
# La la, la la, la
Warm it up
# La la, la la, la
The boys are waiting
# My milkshake brings all the boys
To the yard... #
That's really nice.
It's nice, isn't it?
# Damn right
It's better than yours
# I can teach you
But I have to charge. #
That's not bad.
IAIN STIRLING: 'That looks
delicious. Suck it up, guys.
'So, what else is on the breakfast
menu for this year's Islanders?'
Is this your pancake?
Yeah, the oat pancake.
So it's oats AND milk?
I mean oats and egg?
Oats, erm, soya milk and eggs.
I thought you said
you were making an omelette?
No, it's like, we call it pancake
cos there's no flour in it.
So you put, like, peanut butter and
honey and then banana in it, yeah.
It's really tasty.
Don't look at it, it's really tasty.
Ekin-Su made this, like,
weird omelette thing.
It looked a bit disgusting to me!
It looks tempting, nothing's
too hot for me in the morning.
Like it?
No, it's yours.
IAIN: 'So I take it you're not a fan
of the traditional Turkish
'oat-egg-peanut-butter omelette,
Davide?'
Oh, look at you.
You cooking for your man?
LAUGHTER
Amber's cheffing up for her king.
She's cheffing up for her king.
Where's my breakfast?
Why am I doing this?
Even if he doesn't like it,
he better eat it!
LAUGHTER
Is this real?
So, you're serious, like?
Am I dreaming?
Enjoy! Well, even if it's not nice,
pretend it is.
LAUGHTER
This is delicious. This is the best
breakfast I've ever had. Aw!
She made me breakfast! You know,
a woman made me breakfast like that,
Miss Independent and that, you know?
Yeah!
I don't like mushrooms, though.
I like mushrooms, I love them!
LAUGHTER
I love mushrooms, man.
IAIN: 'Save the last mouthful
for me.
'And she's mopped it.'
I've gotta eat the scraps.
SHE GIGGLES
IAIN: 'Having enjoyed a good, hard
manicure off Tash
'in the Hideaway earlier this week,
'Andrew booked himself in for
a hair appointment at Salon Amber.'
This is what's good about nails,
you see. It is, it is. I can see.
Not sure I'm feeling this, you know?
Oh, my God!
Andrew doesn't look bad, though.
He looks like he's going to church!
LAUGHTER
Honestly, guys, come on.
I come to you for advice.
You look like Bart Simpson
when he's got somewhere good to go.
What do you mean?
It's not that bad, let's just wait.
This is awful.
It's very, like, Grease,
Greased Lightning.
I was gonna say, just put a little
hairband and it'd go like that.
Do you want some edges?
Oh, my God, edge control, please.
LAUGHTER
Sorry, I'm really amused by this.
I don't know what she's done.
Davide, are you good at hair?
What do you think? Ha-ha!
"What do you think?" Yes or no?
Can't wear a bra with it, though.
I know.
Save the day? Oh, much better!
Do you do the parting?
What do you want? A parting.
You want the...
What are we thinking? Side parting.
What, no parting, or... No too much.
Yeah, no parting or this.
It's not so, like...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's nice.
Andrew, what do YOU like?
It doesn't matter what Andrew likes!
IAIN STIRLING: 'I wonder if he's
going anywhere nice on his holidays.
'Oh, this IS his holidays.
'This week saw the arrival
of new boy Jacques.
'He doesn't spell his name
with an X, like Basement Jaxx,
'but he does have
an ex to his name.'
# I used to know her
# But she's got a new best friend. #
I'm not being funny, but from
the back of it, it looks like my ex.
I'm hoping he's five foot,
pale as anything,
nose the size
of the Eiffel Tower.
IAIN STIRLING: 'But it turned out
Luca and Jacques
'have a lot more in common.'
Feel small, you know.
LAUGHTER
I feel small.
Welcome to the crew!
Me and you are sweet, aren't we?
And we ain't even that small,
they're just humongous.
Big boys, eh?
How old are we all, anyway?
I'm 23. Are you 23?
How old are you?
I'm 23.
There we go.
23 last week.
I was literally a few weeks ago.
Taurus! Yeah, there we go.
Yeah, no wonder we're pricks, eh?
LAUGHTER
IAIN STIRLING:
'Height, age, star signs...
'and Gemma says
she doesn't have a type!'
# I don't need a future
# I don't need your past. #
IAIN STIRLING: 'It was only
his first night in the villa,
'but straightaway,
Jacques brought the drama...
'and Tash brought the crisps.'
I see your cheeky smile,
you're literally loving it.
ANDREW: I couldn't care less,
to be honest.
No, no, you do care.
Man doesn't care,
he doesn't care, let it go, Luca.
No, but I would care.
Yeah, YOU would care, Luca,
but Andrew's Andrew. You're Luca.
And Andrew doesn't care.
Exactly.
IAIN STIRLING:
'Care for a crisp, Andrew?
'I wonder what flavour
those crisps are?
'Dramas-an cheese... and onion?
'Luckily for
the Unseen Bits viewers,
'I arranged for Paige and Tash
'to record an exclusive post
on the night's drama.'
OK. All right, gal,
what's gone on tonight?
A lot of stuff is starting
to kick off for no reason.
We don't even know why,
we're just here for the ride.
And apparently,
I was part of the drama. So...
Honestly, you really do have, like,
good vibes.
People have been
wanting to make drama.
I want the drama.
Am I the drama? Drama?
I don't think I'm the drama. Drama.
BOTH: OK, I'm the drama!
LAUGHTER
Think I am!
PAIGE LAUGHS
But, no, not us.
Oh. Are we even filming?
No!
LAUGHTER
We ain't even filming.
OK.
IAIN STIRLING: 'Sometimes, I press
the BLEEP button in my VO booth,
'just for BLEEP and giggles.
'Come on, girls,
just press the BLEEP red button
'on your phones next time!
'Now, I admit sometimes I forget to
flush the loo, or leave the seat up.
'But they're obviously just a few
of my many charming quirks.'
LUCA: What is your worst habit?
Worst habit, man? What's yours?
Probably talking too much.
Yeah, I was gonna say that.
Like, I was gonna say that is it!
Just talking shit!
Your talk is like my farts, man,
it doesn't stop. It doesn't stop.
It keeps coming out.
You know!
Squeezing more and more shit out.
I always, like,
used to pick my nose, mate.
Did you ever eat it?
No. I have tried to...
You tasted it.
Course I have.
Just taste a little bit.
Yeah.
To know what it tastes like,
you know?
Everyone's tried a bogey,
haven't they? Yeah.
I ain't even having that.
I picked a girl's nose before,
tried... My nose is itchy now.
You've tried a bird's bogey,
tried it out? Yeah, I picked it.
Cos she didn't think I'd do it,
like. And you ate it?
Yeah.
What, just to seem, like, sexy?
Yeah, I think,
obviously, she was, like...
She digged it? We were close
after that, like, obviously.
That's a different type of bonding,
you know.
Swear down?
Yeah.
Did you pick it for her?
Or did she... Yeah, I picked it.
She didn't obviously
want me to pick it and I did it.
It was a...
LAUGHTER
Did it taste all right?
It just tasted like normal.
Just a little bit salty,
you know, that...
CHOMPING,
SPITTING
No, man.
Would you not do that to Gemma?
Who?
Would you not pick Gemma's nose?
Bogey? No chance, man.
No chance, no?
She's sexy, but not that sexy.
She is.
DAMI LAUGHS
No, no, it'll properly taste
like apples or something, man. Yeah.
Like little, like, gummy bears.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm gonna ask her later
if I can try one.
What do you reckon she'd say?
She'll say, "Of course not, man.
Don't even try it.
"Not a chance, Luca."
Do you reckon, stick, like...
She's got a small nose, I could
stick my pinky straight up there.
You just have to do it.
Or if you see it, just help
and pick it. Like,
"There's something in your nose."
I dunno why you've put that
in my head, you know.
Yeah, definitely, it's not
normal. Definitely not, man.
IAIN STIRLING: 'So, did you get
the pick ick? Yeah, knew you would.'
MUSIC: 'Morning Mood'
by Edvard Grieg
IAIN STIRLING:
'Here's an exclusive peek
'into the Islanders'
day-to-day life.
'Everybody
waking up in their sunglasses.
'But what you really
want to know is...
'Find out after this short break.'
IAIN STIRLING: 'Welcome back
to Love Island Unseen Bits,
'the show where we bring you
exclusive unseen clips.
'This time, we are going retro.'
# Oh, baby, baby
How was I supposed to know? #
That's not bad!
IAIN STIRLING:
'Hmm, I'd leave it to Britney.'
# Something wasn't right here. #
IAIN STIRLING: 'Let's get back
to some unseen jumps...'
Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa.
'..and bumps.'
# Hit me, baby, one more time... #
# Hit me, baby, one more time... #
IAIN STIRLING: 'Before I delve
deeper into my treasure trove
'of unseen clips,
'I know you're all gagging to find
out what happened to Amber next.
'Amber?'
Ow!
SHE WHIMPERS
# Hit me, baby, one more time. #
SHE SOBS
IAIN STIRLING: 'Ouch! I felt that.'
Ow.
IAIN STIRLING: 'With an Italian
Renaissance man like Davide
'in the villa,
conversation can easily turn
'to Italy's rich culture
and heritage, the fall of Rome,
'opera, and...'
Pizza. Er...
What's your favourite topping?
Sometimes I go also for easy stuff,
like a normal Margherita.
I knew you were gonna say that.
Is that how you like your girls?
Plain? Sorry.
EKIN-SU LAUGHS
As long as it's a good one,
even if it's plain, it's nice.
And do you eat your pizza
thin or thick?
Wait, this is a trick question,
so whatever answer you give me...
is to do with your women as well.
I don't really...
I mean, sometimes she's thin,
but she's shit, you know?
So it doesn't really matter,
really... Oh, my God.
..if she's thin or not,
as long as it's a good pizza.
It's about the taste. Yeah.
How moist it is, right?
Exactly.
Gotcha.
A bit like my bananas.
Sometimes, they're rotten.
LAUGHTER
Sometimes, they're fresh, too fresh.
Sometimes, they're too small,
not grown.
And sometimes, they're really big.
Mm.
You know?
So I quite like it in the middle.
So you need just to test
and see the taste.
You need to try
before to buy, right.
LAUGHTER
IAIN STIRLING:
'Are we still talking about pizza?
'If so, I'll have a Sloppy Giuseppe
and a portion of dough balls.
'I've no idea
what that says about me.
'After a hard week of cracking on,
grafting and chatting
'about their types on paper,
our Islanders like nothing more
'than to kick back, relax and
discuss their favourite subject.'
What's, like, the wildest first date
you guys have ever been on?
I've not done anything interesting
as a first date, I'll be honest.
I've had, like,
the most embarrassing one.
It was a Tinder date and I'm
cringing just thinking about it.
We went to the cinema
and watched a horror movie,
and this guy just sweated
the whole time, profusely sweated.
Was he scared, or what?
I don't know. Or cos he was hot?
It could have been
a mixture of both, but either way,
it was just unnecessary and I was,
like, I wanna go home.
Anyway, he drove me home,
and rather than turning off the car
when you're chatting, he left
his headlights or whatever on
and talked to me.
His car fully broke down outside.
The battery died. Oh, my God!
I just left him there.
I just went home and left him
sat outside my house.
That is pain. Oh, my God!
That is actually pain.
He literally wound down his window,
"Oh, my battery's died."
I was, like, "OK, bye."
OK, bye!
Yeah, I just left it. It was...
Dying.
What about you guys?
Have you had any embarrassing ones?
Not really, no.
Have you not?
Not really embarrassing,
I didn't get caught,
but there was the day I found out
I was lactose intolerant.
We were eating on a rooftop,
and I was eating
creamy, creamy spaghetti,
and it literally,
my stomach and all that
started doing,
started making music
and all this stuff.
Then the only toilet was beside us,
so I had to, like, hold my arse
and run all the way to the street
to a McDonald's and I just shat.
I even vomited as well, man.
And then I had to come back
and just pretend nothing happened.
Literally, like.
Did she not gather
anything happened?
No, I said I was talking
to the bartender downstairs,
just trying to see
what drinks they have.
Why did you go to Maccies?
What the fuck!
What about you, Indiyah?
We're talking about
most embarrassing
or worst dates you've been on?
OK, so, it's not even on a date.
So, basically, the guy I was talking
to, it was after, like, the club.
He picked me up to drop me home,
and I was a little bit tipsy,
but I needed to pee. And with me,
when I need to go, I need to go.
So, he's picked me up, we're
driving, I'm like, stop the car now,
I need to wee!
He's like, can you not wait?
We're nearly home, like, just wait.
I was like, I can't!
So, I've thought he's slowed down,
obviously not as much as I thought,
I've opened the door,
and I've 007'd out the car
and ran to go do a wee,
and obviously just adrenaline rush,
not thinking about it.
I've come back to the car.
This is how this happened.
Grazed knees, like, slit
through my pants, blood everywhere,
broken nail. Jeez!
Literally, it was so embarrassing.
IAIN STIRLING:
'Sounds nasty, Indiyah,
'but when you've gotta go,
you've gotta go.
'Gimme, gimme more,
I hear you scream and shout.
'So here's another unseen gem.
'Give it up for Amber, baby,
one more time.'
LOUD THUD
Oh, my God! Are you OK?
Oh, my God!
I'm sorry.
Wait, lift me up.
# Oops, I did it again. #
It's been a rough day.
It's actually been a rough day. No!
Is it stuck in there?
It's stuck in there.
IAIN STIRLING:
'It's Britney, bitch.'
LAUGHING: She's OK.
'Both Afia and Paige
wanted a piece of Jacques
'and were bursting
with Britney references,
'but now, I'm all out of them.
'Anyway, he ended up
coupling up with Paige...' Paige.
'..meaning Afia went home.'
There will never be another Afia,
though.
Never.
Group hug, group hug.
See you! Bye!
Bye!
IAIN STIRLING: 'But, you know what,
this will make her "Stronger".
'Oops, I did it again.
'Another Britney reference, dammit.'
# Britney, bitch. #
'Following Afia's emotional exit,
'the boys' thoughts quickly turned
to something more macho
'to take their mind off it.'
You had, like, anything done to you?
Like, Botox?
No. Not even your abs
just stuck on, like?
LAUGHTER
Like one of them Spider-Man
costumes. That's mad, innit?
I honestly can say this,
probably, with my chest out,
they're some of the best tits
I've seen. Yeah, honestly.
See, when he tenses them...
BLOWS RASPBERRY
Mate,
if I was a girl in bed next to him,
I'd be insecure about mine,
looking at them.
Yeah.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Well, most of them are.
LAUGHTER
Mate, they're like, perky,
everything.
IAIN STIRLING: 'It's true.
Davide does have a lovely pair.
'Anyway, moving on.
'Oh, dear, it would appear
that Luca and Ikenna
'have broken the golden rule
'of never looking through
a girl's stuff.'
Imagine being a girl.
How do they keep track
of all this stuff? Fuck that, bro.
I just wake up, shower,
brush my teeth.
Do you know what I'm saying, like?
How do you know where to start?
Yeah, like,
do you start on your eyes,
do you start on your face
or on your lips?
Whose is that?
That's nearly
my whole set of hair gone, mate.
What the fuck are you guys
doing in here? Get out now!
We were saying
how hard it is to be a girl.
Like, how do you remember
all this shit?
How do you know where to start?
So, you start with your face,
so you moisturise the face.
Do you wanna do one of our make-ups?
Do one of us.
You can do a bit of mine.
So...
Be gentle, though. I'm fragile.
..you've got lovely green eyes,
so let's start off
with a warm brown palette.
Let's go for the inner corners.
Make my lips big as well.
All right, let's overline the lips,
then.
# Yes, I'm a big deal. #
What the fuck, man? It looks like
I've been to a funeral!
What is it? Bigger?
Nah. No, no.
Right, let me wipe
the under black eye.
Mate, look at my lips!
Put eyelashes on me, if you want.
Can I? Yeah.
I dunno, I do like being pampered,
though.
What's this?
To brush your beard or what?
That's to brush your pubes, mate.
No, it's not. Yeah, it is.
No, it's not. No, it's not.
Wait, oh, no, it's not.
Fuck off!
Just relax right now.
I'll tell you when to open,
because it just needs to dry.
LAUGHTER
Come, come. You need to lips
Gemma like that, bro. Come.
# OK, dolls,
You all know what time it is
# Come on! #
Oh, my God, look at his face.
What?
He's got make-up on!
I swear to fuck, is that my make-up?
SHRIEKING AND LAUGHTER
Oh, my days.
Listen, all I'm saying is,
I'm the best-looking girl here now.
Facts!
Fuck that!
Whoo! What? We didn't even
get to take a picture.
Did you take a picture of him?
# That's all! #
IAIN STIRLING: 'Break time now,
but before you go,
'here's an unseen clip
of the villa,
'and my question is very simple...
'Come back after the break
to find out.'
# It's not right
# But it's OK
# I'm gonna make it anyway
# Pack your bags up and leave
# Don't you dare
Come runnin' back to me
# Me, me, me. #
IAIN STIRLING: 'Welcome
to Love Island Unseen Bits.
'Think of us as the experimental,
avant-garde studio theatre,
'round the back
of the main auditorium,
'and, like most experimental
theatre, we are unseen.'
LAUGHTER
'We have fruity dialogue...'
Lemon four, lemon five.
Lemon five, lemon six.
Lemon six, lemon three.
Lemon three, "leven" seven.
SHOUTS,
LAUGHTER
'..improvisational dance...'
BOTH: Hot... spicy. Oooh!
THEY LAUGH
'..and partial nudity.'
SCREAMS AND YELLS
'And remember, if you don't like it,
'it's because
you don't understand it!
'We're far too clever
for you people.
'Before the break,
we saw Amber, Indiyah and Ekin-Su
'ascend the villa stairs,
'and I bet you're on the edge
of your seats to find out
'what did happen next.
Well, wait no longer.'
THEY SCREAM
Fuck off!
I didn't see him!
You even saw me and you're still
screaming. What's wrong with you?
I'm saw you, I didn't scream!
It was them two.
# It's gonna be a good, good day
# It's gonna be a good, good day
Good, good day. #
IAIN STIRLING: 'Rules of the villa -
the balcony is open to ladies
'only between the hours
of 8am and midday.
'Men only admitted
bearing coffee and compliments.'
Aye-aye.
Morning.
There you go.
Cheers.
Oh, shit!
Oh, can you get rid?
Can someone throw it over, please?
Oh, gosh. Where do you want it?
He's gonna do some bullshit!
Don't put it on us!
THEY SCREAM
That's out of order!
Is that a frog?
IAIN STIRLING: 'Er, no,
that's not a frog, Ekin-Su.
'It's actually my little friend
Hamish from Dundee.
AS HAMISH: 'Ah'm the latest arrival
in the villa.
'Ah can't wait to get grafted
and do bits with the Islanders.
'Those Islanders
better not "bug" me off!
AS HAMISH: 'What's this?
Pick 'n' mix?
'Mah favourite, giz one!'
SCREAMS
You joker!
TEXT ALERT
Oh, Islanders,
the Hideaway is open tonight.
CHEERING
IAIN AS HAMISH:
'Hey, ladies, it's Hamish.
'Can ah come with you girls
to get ready for the Hideaway?'
CHATTER AND SCREAMING
Open the door, so we can run!
Where is it?
Hold it open.
Where is it?
Just there.
Where is it?
Hold it open.
I'm scared!
Oh, it's only a baby.
Oh, my God, I feel sick.
It's fine. It's fine.
I can't do it. I can't do it.
IAIN AS HAMISH:
'You can run, but you can't hide.
'I'll be back
when you least expect me. Bye-bye!'
GRUNTING AND HUFFING
EKIN-SU: The noises, go on,
give me the noises.
DEEP GROAN,
PUFFING
Come on, you can do one more.
Aah!
IAIN STIRLING:
'Urgh! What's going on here?
'I don't think we can show this
on ITV2 at 9pm, can we?'
You don't wanna hurt yourself.
No rest, baby.
IAIN STIRLING: 'Ooh!
It's just Davide pumping iron.'
# Don't be shy, girl, go bananza
Shake ya body like a belly dancer
# Hey, ladies, drop it down
# Just wanna see you
Touch the ground
# Don't be shy, girl, go bananza
# Shake ya body
Like a belly dancer... #
Don't put me off with your face.
HE GRUNTS
OK.
Nice work out.
HE PANTS
Are they pumping?
Your veins are popping out.
Yeah, I won't stay all day
like this. Hulk.
Italian Hulk.
And then you just
have the Turkish kebabs.
THEY LAUGH
You know, instead of abs,
it's kebabs.
Inside the kebab is full of
a lot of good things, you know?
Oh, thanks.
IAIN STIRLING: 'Oh, no,
they're back to sexual innuendos
'about food again.'
# Don't be shy, girl, go bananza
# Shake ya body
Like a belly dancer. #
# We know
They'll never understand... #
IAIN STIRLING: 'Remember the Shimmer
And Shine party the other night?'
# Tonight we dance
Tonight we dance... #
'With champagne, shouting,
'and some very shabby shimmying.'
MUTTERS A TUNE
I can't keep up with that, mate.
'And after playing
rock-paper-scissors,
'Remi and Jay joined the party...'
# Tonight, we dance... #
Oh, my God.
Hi, how you doing? I'm Jay.
What's your name?
Jay, nice to meet you.
Amber.
# Tonight, we dance... #
'..leaving a few of our Islanders
speechless,
'as this unseen bit shows.'
THEY LAUGH
Why was you being so awkward then?
I wasn't being awkward.
I don't care, like.
I wasn't even being awkward.
I think you were.
You were being awkward,
to be honest. I think... Me?
You kept looking at me,
I was trying not to look at you.
No. Nah!
Cos it's childish.
Yeah, boy, I won't lie,
what's that, like?
Come on, man, like.
Come on, darling.
Why you getting nervous to me?
Mm? You're getting nervous.
No, I wasn't getting nervous.
I don't care.
I wasn't getting nervous.
HE SIGHS
IAIN STIRLING:
'Now, I'm not an expert,
'but I think Remi and Jay
have got him bricking it.'
LANGUID FIESTA MUSIC PLAYING
'Sometimes, with the hot
Majorcan sun beating down on them,
'the Islanders just want to relax
and chill.
'Well, some do...'
This day was dead, like.
Day was dead, man!
It was boring, so we were
like, "Let's spice it up.
"Let's play some games," you know?
Yeah, we did a sack race.
Very self-explanatory.
You guys ready?!
Three, two, one... go!
STARTING PISTOL FIRING,
ENERGETIC FIESTA MUSIC PLAYING
THEY CLAMOUR
Gemma cheated.
Gemma cheated a little bit.
She ran instead of... Yeah,
she ran instead of hopping, man.
Literally, one foot
was basically still out.
So I had to disqualify
a point for that.
Gemma, like, she let the team down.
Yeah.
THEY CHEER
Yeah, Davide really took us by...
Leap of faith at the end.
Leap of flipping faith, man.
Took three of us out.
If you watch Davide's leap
and in slow-motion...
Yeah, it was good.
Golden, man. Golden.
They won the game because of that.
This team win!
THEY CHEER
And then we did
the wheelbarrow race,
lifting up, and you just...
You know, like a wheelbarrow?
PAIGE: Three, two, one... go!
Go, go, go, go! Come on, Davide!
Go, Davide, go!
THEY SHOUT ENCOURAGEMENT
Ekin-Su... Yeah. Ekin-Su...
Ekin-Su was a bit terrible, no?
Me and Jacques left them for dead.
Yeah, you and... We lapped them.
Yeah, him and Jacques literally took
off the course, man. Honestly.
THEY CHEER
Listen, the Olympics
weren't ending there.
The last game... I don't really know
what was going on with that game.
Pass the banana. You was passing
bananas with your feet,
and then you go around and around.
Are you guys ready? Let's go.
ALL: Whoo!
Three, two, one.
Come on, come on, come on.
Pick it up.
You pick it...
DAVIDE: Easy peasy!
And then the hosts had to eat
the banana, so, I was on his team...
You deep-throated that shit!
THEY CLAMOUR
Paige was slacking.
Easy like that.
Gag reflex don't work sometimes, so,
you know...
Swallow that thing whole.
You know, I got my man...
Yes! He won it for us, to be fair.
IAIN STIRLING:
'Well done, lads. Good commentating.
'Time to give you lot at home
the chance to win an epic £50,000.
'Plus...
start planning that dream holiday,
'as you could be jetting off
on the trip of a lifetime.
'Yep, courtesy of
VIBE by Jet2 Holidays,
'you'll be getting up to £6,000
to book a fantastic holiday,
'and you can take five pals along.
'Plus you'll have two years
to take it.
'Don't forget, there's that tax-free
50K waiting for you at home.
'For your chance to win the lot -
there's no grafting involved -
'just enter via the app,
or go to the website.
'Good luck.'
# We don't wanna
Fall out of love again, love again
# Too afraid of another chance
We run and we run and we run... #
IAIN STIRLING: 'Welcome back
to Love Island Unseen Bits.
'One of your required daily portions
of juicy unseen Love Island fruit.
'We promote a healthy love life...'
Thank you for that,
I really appreciate it.
'..a healthy digestive system...'
LENGTHY LOUD FART
SCOFFS
What did you eat, an elephant?
Man, it's the mashed potato.
'..and a healthy diet.'
I heard that, um...
..if you swallow,
that has as much calories as eating,
like, two burgers.
What? No! Really?
That is dirty!
'I have put on weight
since being here in Spain,
'but I assure you, it really was
from eating too many burgers.
'They say the best way
to a man's heart
'is through his stomach,
'as new boys Remi and Jay discovered
in this unseen clip.'
Morning, fellas.
ALL GREET HIM
Have you guys had breakfast?
Not yet, no.
Obviously, you know, like, you sing
a song in football and stuff.
The boys have to cook
on their first day.
Sorry, what was that?
You have to show
us your best cooking skills
and cook for all of us.
JAY LAUGHING: Is that right? Yeah.
All right, what d'you want?
Whatever you've got.
All right, well,
my breakfast is pretty basic, man.
What, you're cooking up
for all of us?
I'm just gonna drink these, man.
JACQUES: How many, lad?
I'll do five egg whites
and one whole egg.
Yeah, honestly,
I've been doing this
since I was, like,
12 years old, man.
Are you drinking that?
Oi, that's too much.
I wanna watch this.
Oh, my Lord.
Yeah, lovely. Lovely.
Oh, that's fucking gross, that, bro.
Down the hatch, bro-skis.
What does that taste like?
I don't taste it, man.
Jay had five eggs.
So I thought, "Listen, this geezer
ain't coming to my villa
"and proving that he's top dog."
"So I had to show him who's boss
and have one egg.
You know what I mean?
Just be a man, man. Be a man?
Fucking man.
You ready?
Do it, man!
Chug it, man.
Eat it!
LAUGHTER
Oh, you done it? You done it?
LAUGHTER
That aftertaste is naughty, man.
That is horrible!
How soon do the abs come out after?
Ha-ha.
JAY: Easy-peasy.
Oh, my God, that's disgusting.
IAIN STIRLING: 'Overnight abs?
Luca, are you yolking?
'I'm so sorry, it's the heat.
And the producer was egging me on.
'It can get lonely here in Spain.
'So to keep me company,
I've brought my pet parrot, Klopp.
'But he's escaped.
'Have a look at this unseen clip
of the girls chatting on the daybeds
'while I try to find him.'
I've not managed, really,
speaking to anyone.
I feel like I've just
fucking come down.
He has been quieter today, though.
Mm.
It's the pressure as well
of everyone being like,
"Oh, you're so cute together."
Yeah, I know. And that's it.
So I go in and say,
you may have noticed, I'm...
BIRD SQUAWKING
Oh, my God, this bird
needs to shut up.
GIRLS MUTTER IN AGREEMENT
IAIN STIRLING: 'Klopp, what are you
doing in the villa? Come here!'
I hear everyone go to sleep,
and I'm still talking an hour later.
I'm, like, you can't shut me up.
You had an extra bird in your bed
as well, eh?
Standard, that, innit?
LAUGHTER,
BIRD CHIRPS
Even the bird finds it funny.
LAUGHTER
Oi! Pack it in, will you!
We're speaking!
BIRD TWEETS FURIOUSLY
Oi! Shut up!
LOUD TWEETING
IAIN STIRLING:
'Don't laugh, it's not funny.
'He's a very naughty parrot.
'Islanders,
everyone assemble at the fire pit
'and play a pointless game
about your sex lives.'
Kissing, just basic.
'This one's a game
where they have to prove
'if they've actually listened
'to anything their other half
has told them.
'It's a bit cringe, really.'
Girls, where is the most outrageous
place your partner's had sex?
Car, I have no idea.
Nightclub toilet.
Ugh. Jesus Christ, Jacques.
Hey, yes, guys.
I said lab.
Yeah, it was a bus
with people on it.
THEY EXCLAIM
Pressed the bell
as soon as he finished.
Ding a-ling a-ling a-ling!
LAUGHTER
On a bloody bus. What the hell?
Like...
SHE LAUGHS
Boys, what is your partner's
favourite sex position?
You need to get this one right.
That's fucking boring, mate.
THEY LAUGH
Spooning.
That isn't sex, mate, is it?
You can have sex spooning.
I've put the same.
In a spooning position.
You have an understanding, guys.
Spooning, so... It's classy.
HE EXHALES
Broken eagle.
Broken eagle.
Reverse cowgirl.
THEY CHUCKLE
Reverse cowgirl.
Mm-mm!
Missionary, legs up.
Missionary, legs up.
Doggy style.
LAUGHTER
Watch out, Picasso.
You know, I knew in Italian
it's pecorina.
But I was not remembering
about doggy style.
ALL: Doggy.
What is your partner's
biggest turn-on?
Ooh.
LAUGHTER
Davide!
Big hands.
Big hands. Big hands.
It's all included.
With the word Davide,
it's all-inclusive.
Head.
THEY CHUCKLE
I didn't know if he meant, like,
head shape,
or head as in down below.
So I was a little bit confused,
because I've not mentioned that,
and he's not done
anything of the sort.
Nice hands/fingers.
That was definitely
not the correct answer.
Well done, guys.
The winning couple is...
THEY DRUM ROLL
IAIN STIRLING: 'You can drum roll
all you like, guys,
'there ain't no winner.
It's just a stupid game.'
CHEESY GAME SHOW MUSIC
'Cue cheesy game show music.
Because, oh, yes, people,
'it's time for Unseen Bits...
'This week, I asked,
"What's your best party trick?" '
Oh, party trick? OK.
I don't have a party trick.
I AM the party trick.
So, yeah,
I know what a party trick is.
Like, something that you do
to impress people, right?
My party trick is in my pants.
I'm not gonna show you that.
My attempt
at a Stacey Solomon impression.
AS STACEY: Oh, my God, oh, my God!
When my agent told me
I was doing an advert for Iceland,
I ran home, got my hat,
my passport and my gloves!
This. You know, that feels a bit...
Robot. No, I wouldn't do that.
I do a little dance
and then boom, boom.
I mean, I can...
BARKING
Sounds like a dog, don't it?
BEAT BOXING
I can scream.
Like, a really high pitch.
And then it goes onto another level
and then it's, like, literally,
like, makes your ears ring,
that it's that high.
I'm gonna juggle!
Two things.
I might slip in a third,
but we'll start easy and light
for now.
I don't know when I figured out
I had this talent.
Watch my head, all right.
You ready?
But not that...
HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM
I've got loads of party tricks,
actually, now I think of it.
I can do, like, with my arms.
ARM FART
Can I get a third in?
I can flare my nostrils
really, really fast like a rabbit.
So, are you ready? Are you watching?
LEG FART
I can walk on my hands.
It is a very small room.
I can twist my tongue.
Don't hire me for any kids' parties,
or anything like that,
because they will not be impressed.
Fuck!
LAUGHTER
Thanks for watching!
IAIN STIRLING: 'Tune in next week
for another edition of...
'That's it, folks. Oh, hang on,
there's one more clip here.
'Luca does an impression of Iain.'
DRAWN-OUT: "Tomorrow night...
on Love Island..."
'Hey! That's my job.'
"..the Italian stallion
and the half-Italian..."
"Fishmonger."
'You boys leave it to the true
Scottish voice-over artist.
'See you all next week.'