Loudermilk (2017–…): Season 2, Episode 8 - Iron Man - full transcript
My daughter, Claire,
she's a good girl.
My husband passed recently,
and since then,
she's gotten out of control.
I don't make house calls.
My mom's a bitch,
and she won't let me
come over and stay there
until I've cleaned up, so...
Why are you here?
I need help.
You got a visitor here.
You were, um...
Oh.
Right.
Hurting myself is easy,
and living is the hard part.
Don't forget, guys,
you came here looking for me.
So, somebody.
I'll go.
Except Claire.
Mugsy and I have
been listening
to her shit for a month.
Are you serious?
I thought you got it
all out last week.
Don't you remember?
Your mom was cheating
on your dad with
the neighbor
back when you
were still a lesbian.
♪♪
If I'd known you were gonna go
shopping before the meeting,
I wouldn't have
come with you.
If I knew you were gonna
complain the whole time,
I wouldn't have
invited you.
Just try and make
the best of it.
It's shoe shopping.
There is no "best" of it.
Come on.
Like you couldn't update
your look a little.
What's wrong
with what I have on?
You might want to think
about the message
your clothes are
sending to the world.
If it's along the lines of
"Fuck off
and don't talk to me,"
then I'm okay with that.
Is it really that bad?
I'm...
Oh, where did that
come from?
Your gut is, like, number five
on the list of things
you need to improve.
Okay, just sit down, okay?
I'm gonna find you
some stuff. Relax.
Mommy, I'm hungry.
I know, honey.
We'll meet Nana
for an acai bowl
at the juice bar
as soon as I'm done,
okay?
Do you want
an acai bowl?
A-sah-ee! A-sah-ee!
A-sah-ee!
Okay, go play with Sonia.
Hmm.
Cute kid.
Thanks.
I think I'll keep him.
How old?
Fifty months next week.
Ah.
Hey, what about these?
No, I'm not fucking
playing at Wimbledon.
How 'bout you guys?
Any kids?
The two of us?
Ew, gross.
No, we're...
We're not together.
God, no.
That... Uh, mnh...
I just assumed, since you were
shopping together.
My ex and I used
to shop together.
Oh.
But I love kids,
you know?
They're just such loud,
sticky little...miracles.
Mommy, I fall down.
Oh, baby!
I'm sorry.
Oh, come here.
Oh.
Well, look at that.
It always soothes him.
Oh, I bet.
It seems like he's having
a whale of a time over there.
Excuse me?
He's a baby.
That's not a baby.
Yes, it is.
Uh, no, no, no.
I'm no expert, okay,
but, uh, I think
it's pretty much understood
that they're babies
until about age 1,
and they're toddlers
till about age 3,
and after that,
they're just children,
which is what you have
sitting on your lap there
knocking back
a boob-uccino.
Hey, what about...
Oh!
Oh, here we go.
Now you're getting judgy, too.
No. No, no, no.
W-Whatever you choose to do
with your, you know,
is completely up to you.
Thank you.
Your friend here
thinks it's inappropriate
for me to nourish
my baby in public.
It's not a baby.
Again,
I'm not Mr. Spock...
You mean Dr. Spock?
Whatever, okay?
The rule is if a kid
can pronounce "acai bowl"
and is breast-feeding
in between bites of sushi,
it's time to maybe start
pouring it into a cup.
Fuck you.
Well, I'm just trying
to help you out, lady,
before you get whisker burns
on the twins there.
You know
why you're single?
Because you're an asshole.
He's not single
'cause he's an asshole.
He's single 'cause he's an
asshole who dresses like shit.
♪♪
What the fuck's going on
in there?
Is he getting laid?
If he is,
he's doing it wrong.
Oh, shit.
Buddy, what happened?
I was doing
some power crunches,
and I tweaked my back.
Dude, no,
you need to warm up
for at least 10 to 20 minutes
before strenuous exercise
to avoid injury.
Just help me up.
Okay, just need
to warm up first.
Come on.
Okay. All right.
Just help me up.
Okay, okay.
♪ Lois Lane seems
a pretty strong woman
♪ The kind of woman
that a girl could be ♪
What is with these '90s
grunge bands?
What are these names?
Skin Yard?
7 Year Bitch?
Afghan Whigs?
I mean, do they
all get together
collectively at a bar
and decide on, like,
the douchiest names ever?
Probably.
Too bad you missed it.
Large black.
Jesus Christ, Quasimodo,
what are you doing here?
Who's guarding
the bell tower?
I figured
that brown goat urine
Felix calls coffee
will make me forget
about my back.
Ahh.
Is that you?
Sounded like someone
sat down in a wicker chair.
Why don't you take
some Advil?
No, I like pain.
It reminds me
how much pain I'm in.
I need you to rack
those ASAP.
Sure.
♪♪
♪♪
Felix thinks
a time traveler's
gonna come in
looking for a CD
for his...
Oh, shit.
What's going on?
Shh.
Claire, is that you?
Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Endersby.
What're you doing here?
Oh, just in the city
for the day.
Yep,
lunch and shopping.
We were told to check out
the coffee here.
Really, here?
We were to sorry to hear
about your dad, Claire.
It's a terrible thing.
Yeah, it's not the same
without your mom and dad
at the club.
We miss seeing them there.
Yeah, I bet you do.
Well, good to see you
out in the working world.
Are you the manager?
Yes. Well, kind of...
I'm the assistant manager.
Comes with a lot
of responsibility, though...
You know, putting out
fires here and there.
They really lean on me.
Claire, it's bad.
I need you
in the bathroom stat.
It's gonna be
a two-man job...
And bring the poop knife.
Uh, coffee's
really strong here.
Well, we'll let you
get back to it.
Um, it was good
to see you, Claire.
If you or your mom
need anything,
please,
don't hesitate to call.
Awfully rude
to Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver,
wouldn't you say?
You don't know anything,
Loudermilk.
No, I guess I...
I don't.
My mom was
screwing Mr. Endersby
behind my dad's back.
Jesus. How...
How do you know that?
Because they played bridge
every Saturday at the club,
and when I was
in high school one night,
I was supposed to be
at this sleepover,
but I ended up coming
home late and I saw
my mom and Mr. Endersby
on the couch together.
In flagrante delicto?
What the fuck
does that mean?
No, he had his arm around her,
and when they saw me,
they jumped up,
guilty as shit.
Your mom?
I'm... I'm just having
a hard time picturing that.
Oh, no, there it is.
Hello. Stop.
That's my mom.
That's disgusting.
Get me that poop knife!
Okay, hold on.
Back it up.
You're saying
it's perfectly legal
for you to hit
a pedestrian with your car
while they're crossing
the street. Is that
what you're saying?
If... If you leave
the confines
of the crosswalk, yes.
I'm pretty sure
that's the law.
Well, I'm pretty sure
it's not the law,
because I'm 100% sure
it's illegal.
It's like...
It's like a goalie
leaving the crease.
You're...
You're no longer protected.
Actually, there's an area
behind the net
called the trapezoid,
where the goalie
is totes protected.
Why... Why don't you shove
the trapezoid up your ass?
Okay, as someone
who's no longer
legally permitted to drive,
I'd like to go out
on a limb here
and suggest to this group,
that probably has
a couple dozen
DUIs between us,
let's steer clear
of encouraging each other
to mow down pedestrians.
Um, hi.
The PTA meeting's later.
This is just the boozers
and the druggies.
Perfect. My people.
Um, thing is, this is
a Men's Only meeting.
Excuse me?
What?
What am I looking at?
Oh, yeah, okay.
Except for her.
She's considered a guy.
Bullshit.
If she wants to sit in,
let her.
Have a seat.
All right, cool.
Sit down.
Thank you.
Hi, everyone.
I'm Brooke.
Hi, Brooke.
Hi, Brooke.
Hey, Brooke.
Um, do you want to tell us
your story, Brooke?
Sure.
Happy to talk.
Like I said, I'm Brooke,
and I'm an alcoholic.
Sober 3 years, 57 days.
I just moved here last month
from Chicago,
where I ran
a sober-living group
for the last two years.
Hmm.
What brings you
to Seattle?
I own a franchise
of wellness clinics
and try to split
my time between
all of them, so here I am.
What kind of wellness
do you provide?
We specialize
in Eastern medicine.
The second time
I got sober,
acupuncture was
my saving grace,
so when I finally
regained my sanity,
I decided to make it
my profession.
But, you know, we also offer
chiropractic care,
Shiatsu massage, Pilates,
light therapy, Reiki...
The whole gamut.
So what happened
the first time?
The first time?
You said you got sober
from that acupuncture shit
the second time.
What happened
the first time?
Oh, ha, well,
that's a whole story.
Do tell.
Mm.
Okay, well...
The night of my wedding,
I got black-out drunk,
and I fucked the DJ
in the bridal suite.
Ooh.
No, no, Ed.
No. Mm-mm. No.
The next morning,
my husband told me
it was him or the booze.
So I found a group
and for a while it worked,
but he was never really
able to forgive me,
and I wasn't really able
to forgive myself, either.
Can't say that
was an easy one,
so I started drinking again,
and eventually,
he left...
Without even a goodbye.
So at your wedding,
you had a DJ?
Not a band?
I can relate to what
Brooke is saying.
I didn't get to say goodbye
to my dad before he died.
W-W-Wait a minute, now.
You just hijacked her story.
See, I want to know
about this DJ.
Did he, like, play your boobs
like turntables, you know?
Like...
That's part of
the Men's Only component
I was referring to,
but just, you know...
Claire,
you want to elaborate?
Uh, okay, yeah.
The night my dad died,
I was
at a sorority party,
and...I missed
his final call.
If I wasn't slugging
jello shots,
maybe I could've
talked to him.
Maybe he wouldn't have,
um...
I'm really sorry,
Claire.
I'm sure your father, he...
He knew
that you loved him.
Mm.
Okay.
Thanks for sharing, Claire.
Thank you, Brooke.
Uh, so, to recap,
don't hit pedestrians.
I can't emphasize
this enough...
band, not deejay.
Hi.
Hi.
It was really nice
to have you
in the group today.
Yeah, thanks
for sharing your story.
Thank you.
Um, do you think
you're gonna come back, or...
I'll see how I feel...
Oh, God.
Jesus Christ.
What the fuck?
Here,
let me help you.
No, I'm good.
I'm fine.
Okay, let's just take
a few deep breathes.
Breathe in the pain...
And exhale it out.
What? Am I crowning?
Thank you for
the Lamaze coaching.
I'm... I'm...
I'm really good.
Thank you.
Let me just take a look.
No, no, no. No, no.
Don't touch.
Okay.
Okay. I get it.
You don't believe
in this shit.
Claire, here's my card.
Have him call me
if it gets worse.
Okay.
Loudermilk.
Hi, Mike.
Everything okay?
Yeah. Sure. You?
You need something?
Actually, I'm here for Claire.
Thanks, but I'm all
caught up on my
confessions for the week.
I was hoping we could speak
privately in my office.
♪♪
Oh, come on!
This is bullshit.
Language, Claire.
I'm sorry, dear,
but you don't
answer my calls,
you... You don't return
my messages...
Yeah, because I don't
want to talk to you.
Have a seat, Claire.
Let's make this quick.
It's nice to see you,
Claire.
From what I gather,
you've been doing much better.
Yeah, well, I am.
You look great.
Thanks.
Right, well, um...
The reason I've been trying
to contact you is to tell you
I've decided
to sell the house.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Claire, please.
You're in a house
of worship,
and this isn't a decision
your mother takes lightly.
It's too big for one,
and I can't take care
of it on my own.
And, frankly,
I think it's time
for us to move on.
Of course you do.
What is that supposed
to mean?
I'm not doing this here.
You want to sell
the house, fine.
It's just a house,
not a home.
It hasn't been
for a long time,
so just go for it.
Are we finished?
Yes.
Great.
No, no.
There's one more thing.
I've been going through
your father's belongings,
and I've set aside
a few items for you.
I was hoping you could stop by
sometime soon to get them.
If I say yes,
can I leave?
Sure.
Great.
Done.
♪♪
You're okay.
Oh, thank God
you're home.
What's your Netflix
password again?
My fucking back.
All one word?
No. It's...
Dianne-underscore-
Wiest-zero-three.
Jesus.
Oh, not again.
Yeah, my fucking back
is fucking killing me.
Ah, ah.
Is there anything
I can do?
Yeah, just sit there
on your ass
like you're doing
and don't lift a finger.
You got it.
It's her fault.
My fault?
Yeah, you told me
I had a gut.
What? When?
At the shoe store.
No, I didn't.
Well, you implied it
when you said,
"You have a gut."
Told you, dude.
You should've warmed up first.
Stop it.
It hurts when you talk.
Is that A candle?
Yeah, it was a bit stale
in here, and besides,
I always enjoy
a little pumpkin spice
whenever I masturb...
Watch television.
Thanks a lot.
You just ruined
Thanksgiving forever.
And candles.
I'll be in my room.
♪ Wasted
♪ I always get wasted
on love
♪ I tasted it
♪ But one fix
is never close to enough
♪ Then I'm spinning
and I'm flying
♪ Then I'm cumming
and I'm dying
♪ Oh, yes
♪ Oh, yes
♪ Oh, yes
♪ I get wasted on love
♪ I get wasted on love
♪ Yes, it does
♪ Yes, it does ♪
What in the hell?
Hey, sunshine.
You're up early.
Did you sleep out here?
Not sure "sleep"
is the right word.
I'll get you a coffee.
You're a saint.
Hey, what'd Father Mike
want last night?
Nothing important.
You know,
you look like shit.
Are you sure
you can't take anything?
No, it's just
the morning creaks.
I'll shake it off
with some caffeine.
Okay.
You used my frozen mangoes
as ice packs?
These are organic,
asshole.
I use them
for smoothies.
Okay,
I'm done with them.
I'd love a smoothie, too,
now that you mention it.
Mm, mm.
See, good as new.
What's this?
Brooke's card.
Yeah, no thanks.
Call her.
You look like you need
some wellness.
The only thing I need is a way
to get to the toilet.
I got you, buddy.
Here we go... 1, 2, 3.
Wait, no... ah!
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
ah, ah, ah!
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪ An ocean away
♪ Staring at the sea bed
♪ She wonders
why it can be so hard
♪ To find a reason ♪
♪♪
Not sure
if you want any of it.
But maybe you'll find
something meaningful in there.
Of course I want it.
It's all I have left.
I'm still here, Claire.
I never left.
You left a long time ago.
Enough with the innuendos,
Claire.
You've been angry with me
for long enough now.
If there's something
you need to say,
then grow up
and just say it.
What did I do to you
that was so awful?
You really want me
to say it out loud?
Tell me.
You fucked around on Dad,
and when he found out,
he killed himself.
What?
I saw you and Mr. Endersby
on the couch.
I'm not a fucking idiot,
okay?
Claire,
you don't really know
everything that went on
back then.
Oh, I know a lot more
than you think I know.
I know everything.
No, you don't.
Open the middle drawer.
What?
Why?
Claire, just do it.
What?
Look in the envelope.
"My Dearest One, it's late,
but I had to write
and tell you
just how beautiful
you looked tonight,
how much my heart soared
when I saw you
walk into the room."
So Dad loved you.
Look who
it's addressed to.
Linda Endersby.
Mrs. Endersby?
What? But Dad...
Dad wouldn't do
something like this.
It's true, Claire.
The night you saw Jon here,
he'd come over to tell me
about the affair.
I didn't want to believe it,
either,
until he showed me
those pictures.
What photos?
What?
I don't understand.
Why... Why didn't you just
ask for a divorce?
I don't know.
Maybe because I'm Catholic
to a fault,
and maybe because I knew
how much it would hurt you,
but in the end,
it wasn't needed.
Once Linda found out
your dad's company
was going under,
she left him.
Two weeks later,
he was gone.
He was a complete fraud.
He lied
about everything.
No. No,
he wasn't a fraud, honey.
He was a good man,
and, like a lot of good men,
he had flaws.
But he loved you more
than anything in the world.
That part was always true.
But so do I.
♪♪
Claire. Claire.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey.
Hey.
Look at you.
Where you been?
Ya know. Around.
Hey, we miss you.
Can I get you
anything?
My treat.
Get whatever you want.
♪♪
I'm glad
you finally came in.
Well, it was either that
or euthanasia,
and the coin came up heads.
You know, a lot
of lower back pain
is rooted in anxiety
and unresolved anger.
You don't say.
Lucky for me,
this is just a pulled muscle.
All I'm suggesting
is letting go of the anger.
I'm not angry!
Hold out your arm.
You're angry.
Look, I...
I appreciate the concern,
okay, but I'm not
here for a reading.
I'm just here to let you
crack my back.
Fair enough.
Okay, now let's take
a deep breath in...
And out.
Okay, that was a crack!
That... That...
That was definitely a crack.
Oh.
Wow, that...
I think that worked.
How did you do that?
You know,
just a little voodoo.
Okay,
let's try that again.
I need you to roll
onto your back.
Okay.
This might be
a bit uncomfortable.
Deep breath...
And...
Yeah, uh-huh.
Good, other side.
Deep breath, and...
Ooh, wow.
Wow.
That feels pretty good.
Little lightheaded, but...
My "was-band" used to
throw out his back,
and this always helped.
And bourbon.
For him.
Not for you.
Or me.
Um...
By the way,
you should try Reiki.
It's a real game-changer.
♪♪
You went.
He did.
Ah.
Hm.
I already got
75% more mobility.
Easy there, tiger.
There's still
more work to do.
I'll see you inside.
Okay.
Well, you two are sure
hitting it off.
I am going back next week
to have her
balance my chakras.
Really?
Fuck, no.
What are chakras?
You got to be
fucking kidding me.
Who you gonna network
with at 1:00 a.m.?
Hey, come on, dude.
The kid finally got a job.
Take it easy.
As a bartender.
He's an alcoholic.
That's a recipe for disaster.
Well, it worked out
for Sam Malone, didn't it?
And quite successfully,
I might add.
Who's Sam Malone?
Fuck off.
Okay, Cisco, let me give you
some unsolicited advice.
Okay, this bartending gig
is a bad, bad, bad idea.
Anybody else have something
before we wrap this shit up?
I'll share.
Go ahead, Claire.
Have you ever felt
so pissed at someone
that you forget what it's like
not to be pissed anymore?
Pretty much
everybody I know.
Well, that's how I felt about
my mom ever since my dad died.
But I had it all backwards.
Turns out my dad...
He wasn't really
the perfect person
I'd built him up to be.
You know...
When my dad died,
It was so painful,
and I just...
I couldn't even think
about what life would
be like without him.
And so I numbed myself
with booze and drugs
and pretty much anything
I could get my hands on.
And it worked for a while.
Then it didn't.
Now I'm sober...
And it's better.
Way better...
I know that.
But for some reason,
I still feel like
I haven't moved forward.
It's like
I'm standing still,
scared to move on,
scared to take
the next step.
Join the club, kid.
♪♪
Um, so, I replaced
your mangoes, but I'm not...
Oh, is that, uh...
that's your dad's stuff?
Yeah.
Anything good
in there?
Zeppelin.
Oh, shit.
Houses of the Holy.
Right on.
Want it?
No, I can't take that.
No, you should have it.
Isn't that weird?
Me taking
your dead dad's vinyl?
Only when you refer to it
as "my dead dad's vinyl."
What's that?
This is a snow globe.
You can't have it.
No, that... On the
University of Washington.
Yeah, I got in.
Really?
Yeah,
I'm officially a Husky.
Yeah, you're carrying
a couple extra pounds,
but it looks good on you.
I'm gonna go listen
to this.
See if the song
does remain the same.
♪♪
♪♪
♪ Seems so long
you've been gone
♪ I've been singing
such a sad, sad song
♪ I'm glad I found you
♪ Glad my world's around you
♪ Dinah,
I've been lonely for you
♪ Never knew
how I cared for you
♪ Glad you're back
♪ Take you back in my arms
♪ Dinah Flo, love you so
♪ Take me down way down slow
♪ My Dinah Flo
♪ Love you more each day
♪♪
♪ I'll be long, I'll be true
♪ But I can't say what
Dinah might do
♪ I'm glad she's back ♪
♪♪
she's a good girl.
My husband passed recently,
and since then,
she's gotten out of control.
I don't make house calls.
My mom's a bitch,
and she won't let me
come over and stay there
until I've cleaned up, so...
Why are you here?
I need help.
You got a visitor here.
You were, um...
Oh.
Right.
Hurting myself is easy,
and living is the hard part.
Don't forget, guys,
you came here looking for me.
So, somebody.
I'll go.
Except Claire.
Mugsy and I have
been listening
to her shit for a month.
Are you serious?
I thought you got it
all out last week.
Don't you remember?
Your mom was cheating
on your dad with
the neighbor
back when you
were still a lesbian.
♪♪
If I'd known you were gonna go
shopping before the meeting,
I wouldn't have
come with you.
If I knew you were gonna
complain the whole time,
I wouldn't have
invited you.
Just try and make
the best of it.
It's shoe shopping.
There is no "best" of it.
Come on.
Like you couldn't update
your look a little.
What's wrong
with what I have on?
You might want to think
about the message
your clothes are
sending to the world.
If it's along the lines of
"Fuck off
and don't talk to me,"
then I'm okay with that.
Is it really that bad?
I'm...
Oh, where did that
come from?
Your gut is, like, number five
on the list of things
you need to improve.
Okay, just sit down, okay?
I'm gonna find you
some stuff. Relax.
Mommy, I'm hungry.
I know, honey.
We'll meet Nana
for an acai bowl
at the juice bar
as soon as I'm done,
okay?
Do you want
an acai bowl?
A-sah-ee! A-sah-ee!
A-sah-ee!
Okay, go play with Sonia.
Hmm.
Cute kid.
Thanks.
I think I'll keep him.
How old?
Fifty months next week.
Ah.
Hey, what about these?
No, I'm not fucking
playing at Wimbledon.
How 'bout you guys?
Any kids?
The two of us?
Ew, gross.
No, we're...
We're not together.
God, no.
That... Uh, mnh...
I just assumed, since you were
shopping together.
My ex and I used
to shop together.
Oh.
But I love kids,
you know?
They're just such loud,
sticky little...miracles.
Mommy, I fall down.
Oh, baby!
I'm sorry.
Oh, come here.
Oh.
Well, look at that.
It always soothes him.
Oh, I bet.
It seems like he's having
a whale of a time over there.
Excuse me?
He's a baby.
That's not a baby.
Yes, it is.
Uh, no, no, no.
I'm no expert, okay,
but, uh, I think
it's pretty much understood
that they're babies
until about age 1,
and they're toddlers
till about age 3,
and after that,
they're just children,
which is what you have
sitting on your lap there
knocking back
a boob-uccino.
Hey, what about...
Oh!
Oh, here we go.
Now you're getting judgy, too.
No. No, no, no.
W-Whatever you choose to do
with your, you know,
is completely up to you.
Thank you.
Your friend here
thinks it's inappropriate
for me to nourish
my baby in public.
It's not a baby.
Again,
I'm not Mr. Spock...
You mean Dr. Spock?
Whatever, okay?
The rule is if a kid
can pronounce "acai bowl"
and is breast-feeding
in between bites of sushi,
it's time to maybe start
pouring it into a cup.
Fuck you.
Well, I'm just trying
to help you out, lady,
before you get whisker burns
on the twins there.
You know
why you're single?
Because you're an asshole.
He's not single
'cause he's an asshole.
He's single 'cause he's an
asshole who dresses like shit.
♪♪
What the fuck's going on
in there?
Is he getting laid?
If he is,
he's doing it wrong.
Oh, shit.
Buddy, what happened?
I was doing
some power crunches,
and I tweaked my back.
Dude, no,
you need to warm up
for at least 10 to 20 minutes
before strenuous exercise
to avoid injury.
Just help me up.
Okay, just need
to warm up first.
Come on.
Okay. All right.
Just help me up.
Okay, okay.
♪ Lois Lane seems
a pretty strong woman
♪ The kind of woman
that a girl could be ♪
What is with these '90s
grunge bands?
What are these names?
Skin Yard?
7 Year Bitch?
Afghan Whigs?
I mean, do they
all get together
collectively at a bar
and decide on, like,
the douchiest names ever?
Probably.
Too bad you missed it.
Large black.
Jesus Christ, Quasimodo,
what are you doing here?
Who's guarding
the bell tower?
I figured
that brown goat urine
Felix calls coffee
will make me forget
about my back.
Ahh.
Is that you?
Sounded like someone
sat down in a wicker chair.
Why don't you take
some Advil?
No, I like pain.
It reminds me
how much pain I'm in.
I need you to rack
those ASAP.
Sure.
♪♪
♪♪
Felix thinks
a time traveler's
gonna come in
looking for a CD
for his...
Oh, shit.
What's going on?
Shh.
Claire, is that you?
Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Endersby.
What're you doing here?
Oh, just in the city
for the day.
Yep,
lunch and shopping.
We were told to check out
the coffee here.
Really, here?
We were to sorry to hear
about your dad, Claire.
It's a terrible thing.
Yeah, it's not the same
without your mom and dad
at the club.
We miss seeing them there.
Yeah, I bet you do.
Well, good to see you
out in the working world.
Are you the manager?
Yes. Well, kind of...
I'm the assistant manager.
Comes with a lot
of responsibility, though...
You know, putting out
fires here and there.
They really lean on me.
Claire, it's bad.
I need you
in the bathroom stat.
It's gonna be
a two-man job...
And bring the poop knife.
Uh, coffee's
really strong here.
Well, we'll let you
get back to it.
Um, it was good
to see you, Claire.
If you or your mom
need anything,
please,
don't hesitate to call.
Awfully rude
to Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver,
wouldn't you say?
You don't know anything,
Loudermilk.
No, I guess I...
I don't.
My mom was
screwing Mr. Endersby
behind my dad's back.
Jesus. How...
How do you know that?
Because they played bridge
every Saturday at the club,
and when I was
in high school one night,
I was supposed to be
at this sleepover,
but I ended up coming
home late and I saw
my mom and Mr. Endersby
on the couch together.
In flagrante delicto?
What the fuck
does that mean?
No, he had his arm around her,
and when they saw me,
they jumped up,
guilty as shit.
Your mom?
I'm... I'm just having
a hard time picturing that.
Oh, no, there it is.
Hello. Stop.
That's my mom.
That's disgusting.
Get me that poop knife!
Okay, hold on.
Back it up.
You're saying
it's perfectly legal
for you to hit
a pedestrian with your car
while they're crossing
the street. Is that
what you're saying?
If... If you leave
the confines
of the crosswalk, yes.
I'm pretty sure
that's the law.
Well, I'm pretty sure
it's not the law,
because I'm 100% sure
it's illegal.
It's like...
It's like a goalie
leaving the crease.
You're...
You're no longer protected.
Actually, there's an area
behind the net
called the trapezoid,
where the goalie
is totes protected.
Why... Why don't you shove
the trapezoid up your ass?
Okay, as someone
who's no longer
legally permitted to drive,
I'd like to go out
on a limb here
and suggest to this group,
that probably has
a couple dozen
DUIs between us,
let's steer clear
of encouraging each other
to mow down pedestrians.
Um, hi.
The PTA meeting's later.
This is just the boozers
and the druggies.
Perfect. My people.
Um, thing is, this is
a Men's Only meeting.
Excuse me?
What?
What am I looking at?
Oh, yeah, okay.
Except for her.
She's considered a guy.
Bullshit.
If she wants to sit in,
let her.
Have a seat.
All right, cool.
Sit down.
Thank you.
Hi, everyone.
I'm Brooke.
Hi, Brooke.
Hi, Brooke.
Hey, Brooke.
Um, do you want to tell us
your story, Brooke?
Sure.
Happy to talk.
Like I said, I'm Brooke,
and I'm an alcoholic.
Sober 3 years, 57 days.
I just moved here last month
from Chicago,
where I ran
a sober-living group
for the last two years.
Hmm.
What brings you
to Seattle?
I own a franchise
of wellness clinics
and try to split
my time between
all of them, so here I am.
What kind of wellness
do you provide?
We specialize
in Eastern medicine.
The second time
I got sober,
acupuncture was
my saving grace,
so when I finally
regained my sanity,
I decided to make it
my profession.
But, you know, we also offer
chiropractic care,
Shiatsu massage, Pilates,
light therapy, Reiki...
The whole gamut.
So what happened
the first time?
The first time?
You said you got sober
from that acupuncture shit
the second time.
What happened
the first time?
Oh, ha, well,
that's a whole story.
Do tell.
Mm.
Okay, well...
The night of my wedding,
I got black-out drunk,
and I fucked the DJ
in the bridal suite.
Ooh.
No, no, Ed.
No. Mm-mm. No.
The next morning,
my husband told me
it was him or the booze.
So I found a group
and for a while it worked,
but he was never really
able to forgive me,
and I wasn't really able
to forgive myself, either.
Can't say that
was an easy one,
so I started drinking again,
and eventually,
he left...
Without even a goodbye.
So at your wedding,
you had a DJ?
Not a band?
I can relate to what
Brooke is saying.
I didn't get to say goodbye
to my dad before he died.
W-W-Wait a minute, now.
You just hijacked her story.
See, I want to know
about this DJ.
Did he, like, play your boobs
like turntables, you know?
Like...
That's part of
the Men's Only component
I was referring to,
but just, you know...
Claire,
you want to elaborate?
Uh, okay, yeah.
The night my dad died,
I was
at a sorority party,
and...I missed
his final call.
If I wasn't slugging
jello shots,
maybe I could've
talked to him.
Maybe he wouldn't have,
um...
I'm really sorry,
Claire.
I'm sure your father, he...
He knew
that you loved him.
Mm.
Okay.
Thanks for sharing, Claire.
Thank you, Brooke.
Uh, so, to recap,
don't hit pedestrians.
I can't emphasize
this enough...
band, not deejay.
Hi.
Hi.
It was really nice
to have you
in the group today.
Yeah, thanks
for sharing your story.
Thank you.
Um, do you think
you're gonna come back, or...
I'll see how I feel...
Oh, God.
Jesus Christ.
What the fuck?
Here,
let me help you.
No, I'm good.
I'm fine.
Okay, let's just take
a few deep breathes.
Breathe in the pain...
And exhale it out.
What? Am I crowning?
Thank you for
the Lamaze coaching.
I'm... I'm...
I'm really good.
Thank you.
Let me just take a look.
No, no, no. No, no.
Don't touch.
Okay.
Okay. I get it.
You don't believe
in this shit.
Claire, here's my card.
Have him call me
if it gets worse.
Okay.
Loudermilk.
Hi, Mike.
Everything okay?
Yeah. Sure. You?
You need something?
Actually, I'm here for Claire.
Thanks, but I'm all
caught up on my
confessions for the week.
I was hoping we could speak
privately in my office.
♪♪
Oh, come on!
This is bullshit.
Language, Claire.
I'm sorry, dear,
but you don't
answer my calls,
you... You don't return
my messages...
Yeah, because I don't
want to talk to you.
Have a seat, Claire.
Let's make this quick.
It's nice to see you,
Claire.
From what I gather,
you've been doing much better.
Yeah, well, I am.
You look great.
Thanks.
Right, well, um...
The reason I've been trying
to contact you is to tell you
I've decided
to sell the house.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Claire, please.
You're in a house
of worship,
and this isn't a decision
your mother takes lightly.
It's too big for one,
and I can't take care
of it on my own.
And, frankly,
I think it's time
for us to move on.
Of course you do.
What is that supposed
to mean?
I'm not doing this here.
You want to sell
the house, fine.
It's just a house,
not a home.
It hasn't been
for a long time,
so just go for it.
Are we finished?
Yes.
Great.
No, no.
There's one more thing.
I've been going through
your father's belongings,
and I've set aside
a few items for you.
I was hoping you could stop by
sometime soon to get them.
If I say yes,
can I leave?
Sure.
Great.
Done.
♪♪
You're okay.
Oh, thank God
you're home.
What's your Netflix
password again?
My fucking back.
All one word?
No. It's...
Dianne-underscore-
Wiest-zero-three.
Jesus.
Oh, not again.
Yeah, my fucking back
is fucking killing me.
Ah, ah.
Is there anything
I can do?
Yeah, just sit there
on your ass
like you're doing
and don't lift a finger.
You got it.
It's her fault.
My fault?
Yeah, you told me
I had a gut.
What? When?
At the shoe store.
No, I didn't.
Well, you implied it
when you said,
"You have a gut."
Told you, dude.
You should've warmed up first.
Stop it.
It hurts when you talk.
Is that A candle?
Yeah, it was a bit stale
in here, and besides,
I always enjoy
a little pumpkin spice
whenever I masturb...
Watch television.
Thanks a lot.
You just ruined
Thanksgiving forever.
And candles.
I'll be in my room.
♪ Wasted
♪ I always get wasted
on love
♪ I tasted it
♪ But one fix
is never close to enough
♪ Then I'm spinning
and I'm flying
♪ Then I'm cumming
and I'm dying
♪ Oh, yes
♪ Oh, yes
♪ Oh, yes
♪ I get wasted on love
♪ I get wasted on love
♪ Yes, it does
♪ Yes, it does ♪
What in the hell?
Hey, sunshine.
You're up early.
Did you sleep out here?
Not sure "sleep"
is the right word.
I'll get you a coffee.
You're a saint.
Hey, what'd Father Mike
want last night?
Nothing important.
You know,
you look like shit.
Are you sure
you can't take anything?
No, it's just
the morning creaks.
I'll shake it off
with some caffeine.
Okay.
You used my frozen mangoes
as ice packs?
These are organic,
asshole.
I use them
for smoothies.
Okay,
I'm done with them.
I'd love a smoothie, too,
now that you mention it.
Mm, mm.
See, good as new.
What's this?
Brooke's card.
Yeah, no thanks.
Call her.
You look like you need
some wellness.
The only thing I need is a way
to get to the toilet.
I got you, buddy.
Here we go... 1, 2, 3.
Wait, no... ah!
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
ah, ah, ah!
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪ An ocean away
♪ Staring at the sea bed
♪ She wonders
why it can be so hard
♪ To find a reason ♪
♪♪
Not sure
if you want any of it.
But maybe you'll find
something meaningful in there.
Of course I want it.
It's all I have left.
I'm still here, Claire.
I never left.
You left a long time ago.
Enough with the innuendos,
Claire.
You've been angry with me
for long enough now.
If there's something
you need to say,
then grow up
and just say it.
What did I do to you
that was so awful?
You really want me
to say it out loud?
Tell me.
You fucked around on Dad,
and when he found out,
he killed himself.
What?
I saw you and Mr. Endersby
on the couch.
I'm not a fucking idiot,
okay?
Claire,
you don't really know
everything that went on
back then.
Oh, I know a lot more
than you think I know.
I know everything.
No, you don't.
Open the middle drawer.
What?
Why?
Claire, just do it.
What?
Look in the envelope.
"My Dearest One, it's late,
but I had to write
and tell you
just how beautiful
you looked tonight,
how much my heart soared
when I saw you
walk into the room."
So Dad loved you.
Look who
it's addressed to.
Linda Endersby.
Mrs. Endersby?
What? But Dad...
Dad wouldn't do
something like this.
It's true, Claire.
The night you saw Jon here,
he'd come over to tell me
about the affair.
I didn't want to believe it,
either,
until he showed me
those pictures.
What photos?
What?
I don't understand.
Why... Why didn't you just
ask for a divorce?
I don't know.
Maybe because I'm Catholic
to a fault,
and maybe because I knew
how much it would hurt you,
but in the end,
it wasn't needed.
Once Linda found out
your dad's company
was going under,
she left him.
Two weeks later,
he was gone.
He was a complete fraud.
He lied
about everything.
No. No,
he wasn't a fraud, honey.
He was a good man,
and, like a lot of good men,
he had flaws.
But he loved you more
than anything in the world.
That part was always true.
But so do I.
♪♪
Claire. Claire.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey.
Hey.
Look at you.
Where you been?
Ya know. Around.
Hey, we miss you.
Can I get you
anything?
My treat.
Get whatever you want.
♪♪
I'm glad
you finally came in.
Well, it was either that
or euthanasia,
and the coin came up heads.
You know, a lot
of lower back pain
is rooted in anxiety
and unresolved anger.
You don't say.
Lucky for me,
this is just a pulled muscle.
All I'm suggesting
is letting go of the anger.
I'm not angry!
Hold out your arm.
You're angry.
Look, I...
I appreciate the concern,
okay, but I'm not
here for a reading.
I'm just here to let you
crack my back.
Fair enough.
Okay, now let's take
a deep breath in...
And out.
Okay, that was a crack!
That... That...
That was definitely a crack.
Oh.
Wow, that...
I think that worked.
How did you do that?
You know,
just a little voodoo.
Okay,
let's try that again.
I need you to roll
onto your back.
Okay.
This might be
a bit uncomfortable.
Deep breath...
And...
Yeah, uh-huh.
Good, other side.
Deep breath, and...
Ooh, wow.
Wow.
That feels pretty good.
Little lightheaded, but...
My "was-band" used to
throw out his back,
and this always helped.
And bourbon.
For him.
Not for you.
Or me.
Um...
By the way,
you should try Reiki.
It's a real game-changer.
♪♪
You went.
He did.
Ah.
Hm.
I already got
75% more mobility.
Easy there, tiger.
There's still
more work to do.
I'll see you inside.
Okay.
Well, you two are sure
hitting it off.
I am going back next week
to have her
balance my chakras.
Really?
Fuck, no.
What are chakras?
You got to be
fucking kidding me.
Who you gonna network
with at 1:00 a.m.?
Hey, come on, dude.
The kid finally got a job.
Take it easy.
As a bartender.
He's an alcoholic.
That's a recipe for disaster.
Well, it worked out
for Sam Malone, didn't it?
And quite successfully,
I might add.
Who's Sam Malone?
Fuck off.
Okay, Cisco, let me give you
some unsolicited advice.
Okay, this bartending gig
is a bad, bad, bad idea.
Anybody else have something
before we wrap this shit up?
I'll share.
Go ahead, Claire.
Have you ever felt
so pissed at someone
that you forget what it's like
not to be pissed anymore?
Pretty much
everybody I know.
Well, that's how I felt about
my mom ever since my dad died.
But I had it all backwards.
Turns out my dad...
He wasn't really
the perfect person
I'd built him up to be.
You know...
When my dad died,
It was so painful,
and I just...
I couldn't even think
about what life would
be like without him.
And so I numbed myself
with booze and drugs
and pretty much anything
I could get my hands on.
And it worked for a while.
Then it didn't.
Now I'm sober...
And it's better.
Way better...
I know that.
But for some reason,
I still feel like
I haven't moved forward.
It's like
I'm standing still,
scared to move on,
scared to take
the next step.
Join the club, kid.
♪♪
Um, so, I replaced
your mangoes, but I'm not...
Oh, is that, uh...
that's your dad's stuff?
Yeah.
Anything good
in there?
Zeppelin.
Oh, shit.
Houses of the Holy.
Right on.
Want it?
No, I can't take that.
No, you should have it.
Isn't that weird?
Me taking
your dead dad's vinyl?
Only when you refer to it
as "my dead dad's vinyl."
What's that?
This is a snow globe.
You can't have it.
No, that... On the
University of Washington.
Yeah, I got in.
Really?
Yeah,
I'm officially a Husky.
Yeah, you're carrying
a couple extra pounds,
but it looks good on you.
I'm gonna go listen
to this.
See if the song
does remain the same.
♪♪
♪♪
♪ Seems so long
you've been gone
♪ I've been singing
such a sad, sad song
♪ I'm glad I found you
♪ Glad my world's around you
♪ Dinah,
I've been lonely for you
♪ Never knew
how I cared for you
♪ Glad you're back
♪ Take you back in my arms
♪ Dinah Flo, love you so
♪ Take me down way down slow
♪ My Dinah Flo
♪ Love you more each day
♪♪
♪ I'll be long, I'll be true
♪ But I can't say what
Dinah might do
♪ I'm glad she's back ♪
♪♪