Loudermilk (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Shark Week - full transcript
and I am super-duper excited
about getting you
on the road to sobriety.
Right now, she's having trouble
with her daughter.
I have a feeling
that your brand of help
what she needs.
may be exactly
That's my number.
You want help, call it.
If not, exactly zero shits
will be given by me.
I'm Allison.
I just moved into 2C.
Sam, 2B... or not 2B.
I guess it's not to be.
Well,
As your sponsor
and your only friend,
you really make it hard
for people to like you.
Dude, get away from
my girlfriend!
Why don't you assholes
get out of my way
or we're gonna do this
the hard way?
What the hell were you doing
in a bar?
You're a drunk, I'm a drunk.
Guys like us can't do that.
Is Sam around or...?
Okay. Thanks for coming by.
I'll let him know.
Excuse me!
How far is it to Mount Baker?
Mount Baker.
Uh, as the crow flies,
about 12 miles.
Really?
What if I'm an East Asian
chinchilla monkey
running as fast as I can?
How far is it then?
Or how far is it
as the beaver swims?
Let's say I'm a beaver swimming
upstream with my family,
and one of my beaver kids
snaps a flipper.
gonna be then?
How far is it
Or I'm a three-legged cat,
right,
he's a blind squirrel.
We're handcuffed together,
and we just got to make
our way across.
Is that more than 12 miles now
or little bit less?
'Cause I got a Cocker Spaniel
who walks backwards
spitting nickels, okay,
likes to tack back and forth
against the wind.
What's his ETA roughly?
Or maybe I'll just saddle up
a zoogeographer like yourself
and ride your ass
all the way to Mount Baker.
How far is it then?!
Huh?!
"Stand on the Horizon" plays ]
[ Franz Ferdinand's
Come on.
I just need to get my fix.
Come on!
What the fuck are you doing
to the coffee machine?
Your coffee maker sucks, man!
My coffee maker sucks?
Yeah, I can make meth
faster than that.
I think I have.
You know what?
You're always doing it wrong.
You got to do to it right.
You keep doing it wrong.
- I'm doing it wrong?
- Yeah, you're doing it wrong.
I'm doing it...
I'm not doing it wrong,
It makes a delicious brew!
Why don't you do it then?!
Okay?!
Oh, fine! You know what?
You get the door,
and I'll show you
how to do the coffee right.
this guy.
Keeps doing it wrong,
Do it.
Well, just do it.
It's not plugged in.
Hi.
Guess what I've been doing.
Hey.
No.
I don't play that shit.
Just tell me
what you've been doing.
I read your book.
Oh.
Where did you get that?
Ben lent it to me.
It's actually pretty good.
Um, thanks.
Uh, I'm making
some crappy coffee.
Would you like a cup?
Yeah.
I do have
one serious question, though.
Shoot.
They did tell you
they were taking your picture
that day, right?
There it is.
You look like a stupid idiot.
Look at you.
♪ Loudermilk is Chris Cornell ♪
♪ Hanging on to the '90s ♪
All right, you know what?
I-I remember seeing you
in the '90s, okay?
You had the high fade
and the Hammer pants.
Yep, every day for a year.
- Yeah.
- I was "Too Legit to Quit."
Now you're too big to fail.
Oh, is that a fat joke,
or was that based on the...
the bank crash?
It doesn't even make sense.
This guy calls himself a writer.
So how did you dress back then?
Actually, I think I dress
the way I dress now.
Wow.
Rebel.
So you're a writer.
I was.
Not anymore.
Yeah, Loudermilk
used to work for Spin,
Rolling Stone long time ago.
this guy.
Billy big-time,
Big, big, big deal
back in the day,
this guy right here.
Yeah.
Yeah, the books,
you can still find them,
but I have another gig.
in... in banking.
I, uh, I work in...
Oh, yeah?
So what do you do?
Uh, I go in,
I clean up their messes.
Yeah.
It allows me
to live like a king,
with a roommate
and an apartment.
Shitty coffee maker.
You're doing it wrong!
Well,
why don't you write anymore?
this is really good.
I mean,
It's kind of complicated.
See, my thing was
that I would go on tour
with the bands
and then write
about all the depravities.
that's just But that's...
too hard to do
when you're sober.
Are you kidding me?
A sober guy on the road with
a bunch of fucked-up rockstars
would be a great book...
a totally different perspective.
on page 4.
Yeah, until I fall off the wagon
Well, why don't you go
on the road with a sober band?
Well, then I'd fall
off the wagon on page 2.
That's the last thing
that I need to see
is a bunch of rockstars
drinking milk
and starting shows on time.
Having sex with their wives.
Disgusting.
Well, if I got a copy
of your book,
sign it for me?
would you at least
Yeah, I'll think about it.
It's lively here today.
Wow.
It's an actual bag lady.
What, uh, brings you here
to darken my doorstep?
Um...
you got a minute?
I'm actually kind of
in the middle of something
right now.
in a half an hour maybe and...
Can you come back
No, no.
No, no, no, no.
I-I should...
I should get going.
No, finish the...
I'll see you later.
G... All right.
All right, good to...
Loudermilk:
Come on, come on.
Come on.
You got anything
resembling coffee?
what I have.
That's exactly
That's 'cause
you're doing it wrong.
I'll be in my room.
Thanks.
I got dumped.
And I lost my job again.
And I've been getting
black-out drunk every night.
And when I woke up
for the fifth day in a row
with my head in the toilet,
I, um...
I immediately thought of you.
you suck at compliments.
Well,
Um, how'd you find me?
Father Mike gave me
your address.
Oh.
Well, I owe him one.
My mom's a bitch,
and she won't let me
come over and stay there
until I've cleaned up, so...
Well, yeah, I mean, you smell
like a spicy sausage fart.
No, I mean, like cleaned up
cleaned up.
Like, um, you know, everything.
Mm-hmm.
So why are you here?
Because I'm serious
about getting better.
Okay.
Good.
But... I need help.
And a place to stay.
I can offer you help.
That ain't happening.
No, look.
Please.
I mean, I'll be...
I'll be really quiet.
I'm here.
You won't even know
No.
I don't understand.
Why can't you just find
a park bench
or an abandoned railway car?
some toilet paper.
I'll get you
You know what?
Fuck you, okay?
I shouldn't have even come here.
I can't believe I came here.
I'm such a fucking idiot.
Okay. Hey, come on.
Come... All right.
All right, settle. Relax.
Sit down.
When's the last time you slept?
I-I don't know.
Hey.
Sorry. I got tired
of eavesdropping.
Hello.
for a place to stay.
Yeah. Claire's looking
Huh.
Okay, well,
we should discuss this,
uh, roommate-style.
Why are you moving your head?
She's looking right at you.
to come over there?
You... You want me
- Yes.
- Just say, "Come over here."
- Come over here.
- All right.
- Please come over here.
- Excuse us.
You should let her crash here.
What?
Seriously.
Are you out
of your fucking mind?
No, no, no.
Think about it.
a good guy, Show that you can be
you'll win some points
with Allison.
Yeah, big points.
You think?
All right, all right, fine.
But it's just for
a couple of days.
Okay? And we're gonna set
some ground rules.
Agreed.
All right, let me handle it.
I'll talk to her.
I already heard everything.
Where should I put my stuff?
This is not a free ride. Okay?
Yeah, no, no, no, no.
You stay clean for 72 hours,
the sofa's yours.
But you got to stay sober
or you got to go-ber.
I just came up with that.
No, you didn't.
I swear to God.
Don't lie.
How about like, um, 12 hours?
No.
12 hours gets you
one tall kitchen trash bag
for your stuff.
24 hours.
Okay.
Ben, can you drive, uh, Claire
to the shelter, please?
Let me find the keys
to my automobile.
36 hours!
Sold to the teenage,
drug-addicted loser.
Deal.
Mm, eh.
Mm.
Yeah.
All right, 36 hours.
It's 4:05.
We are starting right...
Okay, wait!
Wait!
Starting now.
Yeah, this is gonna go great.
Hey.
What do I do?
You share.
You listen.
Or none of the above.
The important thing
is that you're here, okay?
I'm gonna go talk to the father.
I'll be right back,
but you're gonna be fine.
in here sometimes,
It gets a little intense
but I think you'll find
there's a lot of love
and respect in this room.
Hey, Loudermilk.
You hitting that?
No.
Are you kidding me?
Oh, hey. I wouldn't sit there
if I was you.
Suck my ass, Booker T.
Sit somewhere else.
- Alrighty.
- Out the window!
- Uh-oh. Ooh. Oh.
- There you go.
You know, they... they did
tell you to move, twice.
Hey.
Why'd you give that slob
my address?
Well, she asked.
If she asked
for half that sandwich,
would you give it to her?
Of course.
"If you spend yourselves
in behalf of the hungry"
of the oppressed,
and satisfy the needs
then your light will rise
in the darkness,
"and your night will become
like the noonday."
It's Jethro Tull,
but I don't know the cut.
That's Isaiah 58:10.
Ah.
I skipped lunch.
Can I have half the sandwich?
Fuck off.
Whoa.
You do realize
I had nothing to do
right?
with that "Spotlight" movie,
I'm just trying to speak
in terms that you will
understand.
So, listen.
Claire was in pretty rough shape
when we talked,
so what are her chances?
Uh, same as anybody else
at this phase.
Probably 70/30 she relapses,
maybe 80/20.
But Iggy Pop lived through
the '70s, so I don't know.
Anything could happen.
Where's she staying tonight?
Uh, she's on my couch.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
What happens
when you go to work?
She'll be fine.
Ben's got an eye on her.
- Ah.
- Hello? Ocupado!
Sorry!
Thought you were at a meeting.
but I got to use the bathroom.
Uh, yeah, I was,
Just a second.
Okay.
No fucking way.
Hmm.
There's a picture
of Loudermilk's ex-wife
in this book.
She was pretty.
Sorry about that.
Yeah, no worries, man.
It's your place.
No, I'm good, thanks.
Yeah. Hmm?
Anyone home?
Yeah, I'm in my room!
Couch!
What's this doing out?
Oh, I was reading it
on the toilet.
Oh, get over yourself,
Loudermilk.
Women shit.
A lot.
Is that code for,
"I got to call a plumber"?
You know what?
I'm gonna go out
and get some fresh air.
Said everybody who lives
in the building.
Don't get fucked up!
She actually broke
the damn thing.
Motherfucker.
Look what I found
behind the toilet.
I don't know what to say.
No?
I'm... sorry, Sam.
Sorry doesn't cut it, man.
You were supposed to watch her.
I know.
That's why I'm saying I'm sorry.
Fuck, I mean, you don't have
to bite my head off.
Well, it's a good thing
I found it
before she had
a chance to drink it.
Geez.
Unbelievable, right?
I mean, it's a great way
to keep it chilled
while you're hiding it,
but, you know, I...
Obviously, she's got to go.
I mean, it's like baseball.
One strike, and you're out.
You mean three?
But you're right. You're right.
I don't really follow sports.
She does deserve another
at bat, right, you know?
No!
No?
It's the principle of the thing.
she lied to us.
We had a deal, she broke it,
Yeah.
Well, then, yeah, there you go.
That's... She's got
expensive tastes, though.
It's a nice bottle.
Of course she does.
Family's loaded.
her whole life,
She's been spoiled
which is why I think
we got to...
we got to teach her a lesson.
Okay.
I got an idea.
say anything to her?
How about we don't
Why?
To... fuck with her head.
Don't say
that we found the bottle to her
and then just see what she does.
I'll bet it drives her crazy.
That's some Chris Nolan level
head games
you're playing, man.
You know what else we do?
All right. All right.
How do you feel about taking
a drive to the country?
Ah!
Okay.
I'll go get my keys.
No. Tomorrow.
Not now.
Ah, good.
I'm exhausted.
Uh, excuse me.
Do you have change for a $5?
Uh, yeah, I think so.
So, are you and Loudermilk
fucking?
I've got four 1's, 3, 4...
Let's see.
'Cause you're pretty.
Like herpes medicine commercial
pretty.
Thanks.
Got some quarters.
I bet he'd totally do you.
into some weird shit, though.
Seems like he'd kind of be
Like probably want
to cram it into your...
You know what?
Just take the money.
You can pay me back later.
Okay. Cool.
Hey, I didn't mean any like,
bad shit.
I just meant like, butt stuff!
Yeah! I got it!
Where are we going?
We're gonna try
something different today.
You ever hear of a vision quest?
No.
Native American ritual.
Like a lot of Native American
things the white man stole,
we... we bastardized it,
we forgot the original intent.
pretty good.
But it still works
I don't...
I don't know.
Ben introduced me to it
back when I was trying
to get sober, and look at me.
All right?
into an asshole?
So this is gonna turn me
Hey.
Let's take
a nice drive in the country
so you can forget about booze
and drugs for awhile.
the wall, 68 bottles of beer ♪
♪ 68 bottles of beer on
♪ Take one down,
pass it around ♪
♪ 67 bottles of beer
on the wall ♪
How much farther?!
♪ 67 bottles of ♪
Like...?
The word you're looking for
is "further."
Further.
Who gives a fuck?
We're almost there.
Listen, guys,
do you really think
and shit is gonna help me?
that getting out into nature
Absolutely.
Okay, it's like the movie,
"Revenant," right?
Leo, he gets out into nature,
and he goes through a lot.
But by the end of it...
Yeah.
That's a bad example.
Okay. Okay.
"Rocky," right?
The third one.
You're Rocky,
and... and Mr. T is a drug
that you have to fight.
Yeah, like tetracycline.
No.
What?
That's...
That's a good drug.
Is that a good...?
Oh, okay.
Uh, Tylenol.
When people are getting
strung out on Tylenol.
That's a good one?
That's also...
What's the... What's that stuff?
Tiramisu.
Is that a drug?
That's a cake.
That's a dessert.
what I'm talking about.
I don't know
Tamiflu.
Tamiflu?
Guys, why, why the fuck
do I have to go do this?
Why do I have to go do this?
That's what you're gonna learn
on the vision quest.
♪ When I wake up in the morning,
love ♪
♪ And the sunlight
hurts my eyes ♪
♪ And something
without warning, love ♪
♪ Bears heavy on my mind ♪
♪ Then I look at you ♪
♪ And the world's
all right with me ♪
All right.
Come on.
Dude.
Dude, it's pouring rain.
No, no, it's all part of it.
It's perfect.
What?
Mmm. Come on.
It's a very special place.
The Native Americans discovered
an energy nexus here.
right into these woods.
Focuses right into...
How you feeling?
Nervous.
Yeah?
You don't have anything
to worry about.
Just take a minute.
to center yourself.
All right, just want you
Close your eyes.
It's real.
Not like drugs,
not like alcohol.
It's real.
Now take a deep breath.
get clearer
I want you feel your mind
with every inhale...
...and every exhale.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Good.
Smell the trees.
Smell the air.
Mmm.
Smell you later, sucker!
Huh?
- ♪ A lovely day ♪
- ♪ Lovely day, lovely day ♪
Hey!
Punch it!
Don't leave me out here,
you son of a bitch!
Hey!
Fuck you!
lovely day ♪
♪ Lovely day, lovely day,
It's so adorable when they run
after the car like that.
You hungry?
Nah, but I could eat.
All right.
You remember when
you dropped me off like that?
Totally.
You almost grabbed
onto my bumper.
Yeah.
You're faster than you look.
It was the last time
I ever did that.
Last time you drank?
No.
Running.
Hmm.
What's going on
with you and Allison?
What do you mean?
No.
There's nothing.
Well, I don't know.
I thought the... the book
was a nice gesture.
Yeah, you're the one
who gave it to her.
Yes, and I thought
it was a nice gesture.
You think
giving an attractive woman
a picture of a bloated me
with '90s hair
is doing me any favors?
I do, actually.
I think... I think it shows
your vulnerability
with being silly.
and that you're okay
But that's not me at all.
That's you.
I just think you should make
a run at her, man.
She's into you.
She's not.
Why are you trying
to push me on her?
Want me to move out?
Look, I'm just saying
that enough time has passed
between you and...
I just think a relationship
would be good for you right now,
that is.
with someone besides me,
Look, sometimes,
you need someone else
to help you to do things
on your own.
No, you don't.
Okay.
What do you think
Claire's doing right now?
Who gives a fuck?
- Hey! Hey!
- Oh! Hey!
Oh, my God!
Thank God!
Thanks for stopping.
What are you doing out here?
I'm lost.
Can I get a ride?
Get in the back.
Yeah.
Uh...
Can I sit up front with you?
In the back.
How was your vision quest?
All right, all right.
What the fuck, you asshole?!
Okay! All right, all right!
Deep breath!
You piece of shit!
Hey, hey, come on!
Left me
to fucking die out there!
Don't be a drama queen, huh?
It's not even bear season.
What the fuck is going on here?!
You're guilty, too!
Me?!
It was his idea!
Listen, if that is your fucking
idea of helping someone,
then you're... you're fucking
psychotic, okay?!
I'd be better off on the street,
you pieces of shit!
I'm leaving!
Fuck you both!
Fuck you!
You're leaving now?
What time is it?
I don't... Who gives a shit?!
It's 4:55 A.M.
So?!
So when did you have
your last drink?
I don't fucking know,
and I fucking...
I...
How long's it been?
30... 36 hours?
Ah.
Oh.
You made it.
Yeah.
But... But you took me
into the fucking woods
so it doesn't really...
and you left me there,
That doesn't matter.
It's like I say...
sometimes you need someone else
to help you do things
on your own.
I haven't...
I haven't... I haven't been
that sober
in like a y... a year,
and...
Well, you are fucked up.
Yeah, but in 12 more hours,
you'll have two days.
two days turns into a week.
Pretty soon,
And please clean up
this fucking glass. Goodnight.
Really proud of you, Claire.
Mostly for breaking
that coffee pot.
I've been trying to get rid
of that fucking thing
since the Sochi Olympics.
You were doing it wrong!
Okay.
Hey.
that the couch folds into a bed?
You think we should tell her
No.
We'd have to move
the coffee table.
Mm.
Where you going?
Oh, I'm gonna give Allison
a copy of my book.
I signed it for her.
Oh, you should write
a little something extra.
You know, make it special.
My autograph's special enough.
Hi.
Uh, is Allison here?
Uh, sorry.
No solicitors.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I'm Loudermilk from next door.
Oh.
Ally, it's Louder...
Uh...
Milk.
Some guy who says
he's your neighbor.
Yeah,
I'll be there in a sec!
Frittata's burning!
Yeah, she said she'd like
one of my books,
brought her a copy.
so I just, you know,
Oh, cool.
Yeah.
Uh, who are you again?
I'm Carl, Allison's boyfriend.
Oh. How come I haven't
seen you around?
over at Presbyterian,
I'm an emergency room doctor
so long hours.
Right, right, right,
right, right. Okay.
Let me see that for a second.
Enjoy your frittata.
Uh, okay.
♪ When you get older, plainer,
saner ♪
♪ When you remember
all the danger we came from ♪
♪ Burning like embers,
falling, tender ♪
♪ Long before the days
of no surrender years ago ♪
♪ And will you know ♪
♪ So smoke 'em if you got 'em ♪
♪ 'Cause it's going down ♪
♪ All I ever wanted was you ♪
♪ I'll never get to heaven ♪
♪ 'Cause I don't know how ♪
.srt Extracted, Synced and Corrected
by Dan4Jem, AD.XII.MMXVII
about getting you
on the road to sobriety.
Right now, she's having trouble
with her daughter.
I have a feeling
that your brand of help
what she needs.
may be exactly
That's my number.
You want help, call it.
If not, exactly zero shits
will be given by me.
I'm Allison.
I just moved into 2C.
Sam, 2B... or not 2B.
I guess it's not to be.
Well,
As your sponsor
and your only friend,
you really make it hard
for people to like you.
Dude, get away from
my girlfriend!
Why don't you assholes
get out of my way
or we're gonna do this
the hard way?
What the hell were you doing
in a bar?
You're a drunk, I'm a drunk.
Guys like us can't do that.
Is Sam around or...?
Okay. Thanks for coming by.
I'll let him know.
Excuse me!
How far is it to Mount Baker?
Mount Baker.
Uh, as the crow flies,
about 12 miles.
Really?
What if I'm an East Asian
chinchilla monkey
running as fast as I can?
How far is it then?
Or how far is it
as the beaver swims?
Let's say I'm a beaver swimming
upstream with my family,
and one of my beaver kids
snaps a flipper.
gonna be then?
How far is it
Or I'm a three-legged cat,
right,
he's a blind squirrel.
We're handcuffed together,
and we just got to make
our way across.
Is that more than 12 miles now
or little bit less?
'Cause I got a Cocker Spaniel
who walks backwards
spitting nickels, okay,
likes to tack back and forth
against the wind.
What's his ETA roughly?
Or maybe I'll just saddle up
a zoogeographer like yourself
and ride your ass
all the way to Mount Baker.
How far is it then?!
Huh?!
"Stand on the Horizon" plays ]
[ Franz Ferdinand's
Come on.
I just need to get my fix.
Come on!
What the fuck are you doing
to the coffee machine?
Your coffee maker sucks, man!
My coffee maker sucks?
Yeah, I can make meth
faster than that.
I think I have.
You know what?
You're always doing it wrong.
You got to do to it right.
You keep doing it wrong.
- I'm doing it wrong?
- Yeah, you're doing it wrong.
I'm doing it...
I'm not doing it wrong,
It makes a delicious brew!
Why don't you do it then?!
Okay?!
Oh, fine! You know what?
You get the door,
and I'll show you
how to do the coffee right.
this guy.
Keeps doing it wrong,
Do it.
Well, just do it.
It's not plugged in.
Hi.
Guess what I've been doing.
Hey.
No.
I don't play that shit.
Just tell me
what you've been doing.
I read your book.
Oh.
Where did you get that?
Ben lent it to me.
It's actually pretty good.
Um, thanks.
Uh, I'm making
some crappy coffee.
Would you like a cup?
Yeah.
I do have
one serious question, though.
Shoot.
They did tell you
they were taking your picture
that day, right?
There it is.
You look like a stupid idiot.
Look at you.
♪ Loudermilk is Chris Cornell ♪
♪ Hanging on to the '90s ♪
All right, you know what?
I-I remember seeing you
in the '90s, okay?
You had the high fade
and the Hammer pants.
Yep, every day for a year.
- Yeah.
- I was "Too Legit to Quit."
Now you're too big to fail.
Oh, is that a fat joke,
or was that based on the...
the bank crash?
It doesn't even make sense.
This guy calls himself a writer.
So how did you dress back then?
Actually, I think I dress
the way I dress now.
Wow.
Rebel.
So you're a writer.
I was.
Not anymore.
Yeah, Loudermilk
used to work for Spin,
Rolling Stone long time ago.
this guy.
Billy big-time,
Big, big, big deal
back in the day,
this guy right here.
Yeah.
Yeah, the books,
you can still find them,
but I have another gig.
in... in banking.
I, uh, I work in...
Oh, yeah?
So what do you do?
Uh, I go in,
I clean up their messes.
Yeah.
It allows me
to live like a king,
with a roommate
and an apartment.
Shitty coffee maker.
You're doing it wrong!
Well,
why don't you write anymore?
this is really good.
I mean,
It's kind of complicated.
See, my thing was
that I would go on tour
with the bands
and then write
about all the depravities.
that's just But that's...
too hard to do
when you're sober.
Are you kidding me?
A sober guy on the road with
a bunch of fucked-up rockstars
would be a great book...
a totally different perspective.
on page 4.
Yeah, until I fall off the wagon
Well, why don't you go
on the road with a sober band?
Well, then I'd fall
off the wagon on page 2.
That's the last thing
that I need to see
is a bunch of rockstars
drinking milk
and starting shows on time.
Having sex with their wives.
Disgusting.
Well, if I got a copy
of your book,
sign it for me?
would you at least
Yeah, I'll think about it.
It's lively here today.
Wow.
It's an actual bag lady.
What, uh, brings you here
to darken my doorstep?
Um...
you got a minute?
I'm actually kind of
in the middle of something
right now.
in a half an hour maybe and...
Can you come back
No, no.
No, no, no, no.
I-I should...
I should get going.
No, finish the...
I'll see you later.
G... All right.
All right, good to...
Loudermilk:
Come on, come on.
Come on.
You got anything
resembling coffee?
what I have.
That's exactly
That's 'cause
you're doing it wrong.
I'll be in my room.
Thanks.
I got dumped.
And I lost my job again.
And I've been getting
black-out drunk every night.
And when I woke up
for the fifth day in a row
with my head in the toilet,
I, um...
I immediately thought of you.
you suck at compliments.
Well,
Um, how'd you find me?
Father Mike gave me
your address.
Oh.
Well, I owe him one.
My mom's a bitch,
and she won't let me
come over and stay there
until I've cleaned up, so...
Well, yeah, I mean, you smell
like a spicy sausage fart.
No, I mean, like cleaned up
cleaned up.
Like, um, you know, everything.
Mm-hmm.
So why are you here?
Because I'm serious
about getting better.
Okay.
Good.
But... I need help.
And a place to stay.
I can offer you help.
That ain't happening.
No, look.
Please.
I mean, I'll be...
I'll be really quiet.
I'm here.
You won't even know
No.
I don't understand.
Why can't you just find
a park bench
or an abandoned railway car?
some toilet paper.
I'll get you
You know what?
Fuck you, okay?
I shouldn't have even come here.
I can't believe I came here.
I'm such a fucking idiot.
Okay. Hey, come on.
Come... All right.
All right, settle. Relax.
Sit down.
When's the last time you slept?
I-I don't know.
Hey.
Sorry. I got tired
of eavesdropping.
Hello.
for a place to stay.
Yeah. Claire's looking
Huh.
Okay, well,
we should discuss this,
uh, roommate-style.
Why are you moving your head?
She's looking right at you.
to come over there?
You... You want me
- Yes.
- Just say, "Come over here."
- Come over here.
- All right.
- Please come over here.
- Excuse us.
You should let her crash here.
What?
Seriously.
Are you out
of your fucking mind?
No, no, no.
Think about it.
a good guy, Show that you can be
you'll win some points
with Allison.
Yeah, big points.
You think?
All right, all right, fine.
But it's just for
a couple of days.
Okay? And we're gonna set
some ground rules.
Agreed.
All right, let me handle it.
I'll talk to her.
I already heard everything.
Where should I put my stuff?
This is not a free ride. Okay?
Yeah, no, no, no, no.
You stay clean for 72 hours,
the sofa's yours.
But you got to stay sober
or you got to go-ber.
I just came up with that.
No, you didn't.
I swear to God.
Don't lie.
How about like, um, 12 hours?
No.
12 hours gets you
one tall kitchen trash bag
for your stuff.
24 hours.
Okay.
Ben, can you drive, uh, Claire
to the shelter, please?
Let me find the keys
to my automobile.
36 hours!
Sold to the teenage,
drug-addicted loser.
Deal.
Mm, eh.
Mm.
Yeah.
All right, 36 hours.
It's 4:05.
We are starting right...
Okay, wait!
Wait!
Starting now.
Yeah, this is gonna go great.
Hey.
What do I do?
You share.
You listen.
Or none of the above.
The important thing
is that you're here, okay?
I'm gonna go talk to the father.
I'll be right back,
but you're gonna be fine.
in here sometimes,
It gets a little intense
but I think you'll find
there's a lot of love
and respect in this room.
Hey, Loudermilk.
You hitting that?
No.
Are you kidding me?
Oh, hey. I wouldn't sit there
if I was you.
Suck my ass, Booker T.
Sit somewhere else.
- Alrighty.
- Out the window!
- Uh-oh. Ooh. Oh.
- There you go.
You know, they... they did
tell you to move, twice.
Hey.
Why'd you give that slob
my address?
Well, she asked.
If she asked
for half that sandwich,
would you give it to her?
Of course.
"If you spend yourselves
in behalf of the hungry"
of the oppressed,
and satisfy the needs
then your light will rise
in the darkness,
"and your night will become
like the noonday."
It's Jethro Tull,
but I don't know the cut.
That's Isaiah 58:10.
Ah.
I skipped lunch.
Can I have half the sandwich?
Fuck off.
Whoa.
You do realize
I had nothing to do
right?
with that "Spotlight" movie,
I'm just trying to speak
in terms that you will
understand.
So, listen.
Claire was in pretty rough shape
when we talked,
so what are her chances?
Uh, same as anybody else
at this phase.
Probably 70/30 she relapses,
maybe 80/20.
But Iggy Pop lived through
the '70s, so I don't know.
Anything could happen.
Where's she staying tonight?
Uh, she's on my couch.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
What happens
when you go to work?
She'll be fine.
Ben's got an eye on her.
- Ah.
- Hello? Ocupado!
Sorry!
Thought you were at a meeting.
but I got to use the bathroom.
Uh, yeah, I was,
Just a second.
Okay.
No fucking way.
Hmm.
There's a picture
of Loudermilk's ex-wife
in this book.
She was pretty.
Sorry about that.
Yeah, no worries, man.
It's your place.
No, I'm good, thanks.
Yeah. Hmm?
Anyone home?
Yeah, I'm in my room!
Couch!
What's this doing out?
Oh, I was reading it
on the toilet.
Oh, get over yourself,
Loudermilk.
Women shit.
A lot.
Is that code for,
"I got to call a plumber"?
You know what?
I'm gonna go out
and get some fresh air.
Said everybody who lives
in the building.
Don't get fucked up!
She actually broke
the damn thing.
Motherfucker.
Look what I found
behind the toilet.
I don't know what to say.
No?
I'm... sorry, Sam.
Sorry doesn't cut it, man.
You were supposed to watch her.
I know.
That's why I'm saying I'm sorry.
Fuck, I mean, you don't have
to bite my head off.
Well, it's a good thing
I found it
before she had
a chance to drink it.
Geez.
Unbelievable, right?
I mean, it's a great way
to keep it chilled
while you're hiding it,
but, you know, I...
Obviously, she's got to go.
I mean, it's like baseball.
One strike, and you're out.
You mean three?
But you're right. You're right.
I don't really follow sports.
She does deserve another
at bat, right, you know?
No!
No?
It's the principle of the thing.
she lied to us.
We had a deal, she broke it,
Yeah.
Well, then, yeah, there you go.
That's... She's got
expensive tastes, though.
It's a nice bottle.
Of course she does.
Family's loaded.
her whole life,
She's been spoiled
which is why I think
we got to...
we got to teach her a lesson.
Okay.
I got an idea.
say anything to her?
How about we don't
Why?
To... fuck with her head.
Don't say
that we found the bottle to her
and then just see what she does.
I'll bet it drives her crazy.
That's some Chris Nolan level
head games
you're playing, man.
You know what else we do?
All right. All right.
How do you feel about taking
a drive to the country?
Ah!
Okay.
I'll go get my keys.
No. Tomorrow.
Not now.
Ah, good.
I'm exhausted.
Uh, excuse me.
Do you have change for a $5?
Uh, yeah, I think so.
So, are you and Loudermilk
fucking?
I've got four 1's, 3, 4...
Let's see.
'Cause you're pretty.
Like herpes medicine commercial
pretty.
Thanks.
Got some quarters.
I bet he'd totally do you.
into some weird shit, though.
Seems like he'd kind of be
Like probably want
to cram it into your...
You know what?
Just take the money.
You can pay me back later.
Okay. Cool.
Hey, I didn't mean any like,
bad shit.
I just meant like, butt stuff!
Yeah! I got it!
Where are we going?
We're gonna try
something different today.
You ever hear of a vision quest?
No.
Native American ritual.
Like a lot of Native American
things the white man stole,
we... we bastardized it,
we forgot the original intent.
pretty good.
But it still works
I don't...
I don't know.
Ben introduced me to it
back when I was trying
to get sober, and look at me.
All right?
into an asshole?
So this is gonna turn me
Hey.
Let's take
a nice drive in the country
so you can forget about booze
and drugs for awhile.
the wall, 68 bottles of beer ♪
♪ 68 bottles of beer on
♪ Take one down,
pass it around ♪
♪ 67 bottles of beer
on the wall ♪
How much farther?!
♪ 67 bottles of ♪
Like...?
The word you're looking for
is "further."
Further.
Who gives a fuck?
We're almost there.
Listen, guys,
do you really think
and shit is gonna help me?
that getting out into nature
Absolutely.
Okay, it's like the movie,
"Revenant," right?
Leo, he gets out into nature,
and he goes through a lot.
But by the end of it...
Yeah.
That's a bad example.
Okay. Okay.
"Rocky," right?
The third one.
You're Rocky,
and... and Mr. T is a drug
that you have to fight.
Yeah, like tetracycline.
No.
What?
That's...
That's a good drug.
Is that a good...?
Oh, okay.
Uh, Tylenol.
When people are getting
strung out on Tylenol.
That's a good one?
That's also...
What's the... What's that stuff?
Tiramisu.
Is that a drug?
That's a cake.
That's a dessert.
what I'm talking about.
I don't know
Tamiflu.
Tamiflu?
Guys, why, why the fuck
do I have to go do this?
Why do I have to go do this?
That's what you're gonna learn
on the vision quest.
♪ When I wake up in the morning,
love ♪
♪ And the sunlight
hurts my eyes ♪
♪ And something
without warning, love ♪
♪ Bears heavy on my mind ♪
♪ Then I look at you ♪
♪ And the world's
all right with me ♪
All right.
Come on.
Dude.
Dude, it's pouring rain.
No, no, it's all part of it.
It's perfect.
What?
Mmm. Come on.
It's a very special place.
The Native Americans discovered
an energy nexus here.
right into these woods.
Focuses right into...
How you feeling?
Nervous.
Yeah?
You don't have anything
to worry about.
Just take a minute.
to center yourself.
All right, just want you
Close your eyes.
It's real.
Not like drugs,
not like alcohol.
It's real.
Now take a deep breath.
get clearer
I want you feel your mind
with every inhale...
...and every exhale.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Good.
Smell the trees.
Smell the air.
Mmm.
Smell you later, sucker!
Huh?
- ♪ A lovely day ♪
- ♪ Lovely day, lovely day ♪
Hey!
Punch it!
Don't leave me out here,
you son of a bitch!
Hey!
Fuck you!
lovely day ♪
♪ Lovely day, lovely day,
It's so adorable when they run
after the car like that.
You hungry?
Nah, but I could eat.
All right.
You remember when
you dropped me off like that?
Totally.
You almost grabbed
onto my bumper.
Yeah.
You're faster than you look.
It was the last time
I ever did that.
Last time you drank?
No.
Running.
Hmm.
What's going on
with you and Allison?
What do you mean?
No.
There's nothing.
Well, I don't know.
I thought the... the book
was a nice gesture.
Yeah, you're the one
who gave it to her.
Yes, and I thought
it was a nice gesture.
You think
giving an attractive woman
a picture of a bloated me
with '90s hair
is doing me any favors?
I do, actually.
I think... I think it shows
your vulnerability
with being silly.
and that you're okay
But that's not me at all.
That's you.
I just think you should make
a run at her, man.
She's into you.
She's not.
Why are you trying
to push me on her?
Want me to move out?
Look, I'm just saying
that enough time has passed
between you and...
I just think a relationship
would be good for you right now,
that is.
with someone besides me,
Look, sometimes,
you need someone else
to help you to do things
on your own.
No, you don't.
Okay.
What do you think
Claire's doing right now?
Who gives a fuck?
- Hey! Hey!
- Oh! Hey!
Oh, my God!
Thank God!
Thanks for stopping.
What are you doing out here?
I'm lost.
Can I get a ride?
Get in the back.
Yeah.
Uh...
Can I sit up front with you?
In the back.
How was your vision quest?
All right, all right.
What the fuck, you asshole?!
Okay! All right, all right!
Deep breath!
You piece of shit!
Hey, hey, come on!
Left me
to fucking die out there!
Don't be a drama queen, huh?
It's not even bear season.
What the fuck is going on here?!
You're guilty, too!
Me?!
It was his idea!
Listen, if that is your fucking
idea of helping someone,
then you're... you're fucking
psychotic, okay?!
I'd be better off on the street,
you pieces of shit!
I'm leaving!
Fuck you both!
Fuck you!
You're leaving now?
What time is it?
I don't... Who gives a shit?!
It's 4:55 A.M.
So?!
So when did you have
your last drink?
I don't fucking know,
and I fucking...
I...
How long's it been?
30... 36 hours?
Ah.
Oh.
You made it.
Yeah.
But... But you took me
into the fucking woods
so it doesn't really...
and you left me there,
That doesn't matter.
It's like I say...
sometimes you need someone else
to help you do things
on your own.
I haven't...
I haven't... I haven't been
that sober
in like a y... a year,
and...
Well, you are fucked up.
Yeah, but in 12 more hours,
you'll have two days.
two days turns into a week.
Pretty soon,
And please clean up
this fucking glass. Goodnight.
Really proud of you, Claire.
Mostly for breaking
that coffee pot.
I've been trying to get rid
of that fucking thing
since the Sochi Olympics.
You were doing it wrong!
Okay.
Hey.
that the couch folds into a bed?
You think we should tell her
No.
We'd have to move
the coffee table.
Mm.
Where you going?
Oh, I'm gonna give Allison
a copy of my book.
I signed it for her.
Oh, you should write
a little something extra.
You know, make it special.
My autograph's special enough.
Hi.
Uh, is Allison here?
Uh, sorry.
No solicitors.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I'm Loudermilk from next door.
Oh.
Ally, it's Louder...
Uh...
Milk.
Some guy who says
he's your neighbor.
Yeah,
I'll be there in a sec!
Frittata's burning!
Yeah, she said she'd like
one of my books,
brought her a copy.
so I just, you know,
Oh, cool.
Yeah.
Uh, who are you again?
I'm Carl, Allison's boyfriend.
Oh. How come I haven't
seen you around?
over at Presbyterian,
I'm an emergency room doctor
so long hours.
Right, right, right,
right, right. Okay.
Let me see that for a second.
Enjoy your frittata.
Uh, okay.
♪ When you get older, plainer,
saner ♪
♪ When you remember
all the danger we came from ♪
♪ Burning like embers,
falling, tender ♪
♪ Long before the days
of no surrender years ago ♪
♪ And will you know ♪
♪ So smoke 'em if you got 'em ♪
♪ 'Cause it's going down ♪
♪ All I ever wanted was you ♪
♪ I'll never get to heaven ♪
♪ 'Cause I don't know how ♪
.srt Extracted, Synced and Corrected
by Dan4Jem, AD.XII.MMXVII