Looney Tunes Cartoons (2019–…): Season 5, Episode 1 - Looney Tunes Cartoons Valentine's Extwavaganza! - full transcript

[playful music playing]

[theme tune playing]

[deep voice]
Happy Valentine's Day,

my ba-ba-ba...
[stutters]

Petunia.

All set. And now,
I'll just grab the sweets
for my sweetie.

[gasps] Daffy!

[slow groan]

Daffy, those chocolates
are not for you.
They're for Petunia.

Oh, I see.

Can I have a chocolate?



-What?
-One piece
of chocolate, please.

[stutters] Daffy,
today is Valentine's Day.
A day for couples.

Petunia is my Valentine,
and this box

of Valentine's Day chocolates
is for her, and not for you.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm off for my

Valentine's... [stutters]
couple's festivities.
[chuckles]

Have fun here,
all by yourself.

Couple's festivities!

Who needs
dumb ol' chocolates anyway?

[moaning]

I needs dumb old chocolates!

-[whistling]
-Porky! Wait!

You uh... uh...

you forgot your coat.



[gasps] Oh, dear.

Thanks.

[whistling]

[cash register dings]

[continues whistling]

[sighs in relief]

[continues whistling]

[banging]

[buzzer sounds]

[continues whistling]

[continues whistling]

Hi, Porky.

Happy Valentine's Day
my swee...
I brought you something.

[gasping, gags]

Daffy! Why you...

You brought your friend
with you on our date?

[stuttering]

Porky, I cannot believe
how thoughtful you are.

Daffy would have been
all by himself
this Valentine's Day,

and you decided
to bring him along
so he wouldn't feel left out.

Aww! I'll call the restaurant
to change the reservation
to three.

Happy Valentine's day, buddy.

[muffled groaning]

[theme music playing]

[humming]

[siren blaring]

Pull over!

[tires screech]

Is there a problem, sir?

Yeah, there's a big problem.
You were blatantly,
and aggressively speeding.

It's not my fault, Officer.
I have a lead foot.

Here. Take a closer look.

Say, you're quite
the handsome fella.

Right back at you,
good looking.

[theme music playing]

[thud]

Ow!

Hey! Wait a sec.

This don't look like
France to me.

Hmm. Either the English Channel
is bigger than I thought,

or, I made a wrong turn
at Dunkirk.

Sheesh. This place
should take care
of its potholes.

[thudding,
footsteps approaching]

Ooh!

I don't like to look at that.

Hey, now.
Wait a minute, sister.

I think you're coming on
a little strong.

I mean, we've only just met.

[panting]

[yelps, screaming]

Uh... he loves me not?

[sobbing]

[wailing]

Call me old fashioned,
but I just can't stand to see
a woman cryin' a river.

All right, All right.

Turn off the water works.

Hey, Queen Kong!
Now look,

you're liable to hurt someone.

[crying]

Specifically me.

Ay, what the heck.
Would these cheer you up,
sweetheart?

[snorts]

[gasping]

I may have made a mistake.

Uh, I love what you've done
with the place.

[humming]

I better get out of here
before I bite off
more than I can chew.

Oh! [chuckles nervously]

Dinner already?

No, no.
I'm trying to watch my weight.

Well, maybe just
a little taste.

Me and my big mouth.

Nice picture quality
you got up here.

[stuttering] Wait a minute,
doll face,

don't you think you're moving
a little too fast?

How about instead, a massage?

Yeah.

How's that sound?

[yelps]

No! No! No, not me.
Not me.

[chuckles] Listen,
I'll give you a massage.

How about that?

Why don't we start
with your back.

[sighs]
Why does love look for me
in all the wrong places?

This is kind of fun.

[romantic music playing]

[glass shatters]

Ah, she grew on me.

Oh, you kid.
Koochie-koochie-koo.

[giggling]

[door slams open]

Hang on a second...
you're married!

[speaking gibberish]

Look, this is all just been
a big, big, big
misunderstanding.

[speaking gibberish]

Oh, well, it was nice
while it lasted, I suppose.

Ay, why not? After all,
I am on the rebound.

[closing theme playing]

[theme music playing]