Looney Tunes Cartoons (2019–…): Season 5, Episode 2 - Vavalentine's Day Extwzvagansa - full transcript
[scary music playing]
[clanging]
[wind blowing]
[laughing maniacally]
[screeches]
[cackling]
[theme music playing]
[organ playing scary music]
[bat screeching]
[distant wolves howling]
[owl hooting]
[distant animal trilling]
Uh, D-D-D-Daffy?
You know, when you asked me
to help you to carry something,
I didn't know
you meant a coffin,
through the woods,
in the middle of the night.
[crying hysterically]
But it was just too darn
difficult to talk about!
[continues crying]
I suppose it would be
insensitive for me to ask
who's in the coffin.
Who died?
Only my best friend
in the whole wide world!
-[grunting]
-[Daffy crying]
It's so unfair!
We've spent
all our time together!
[blowing nose]
He was always there for me.
He always lit up the room.
The ultimate entertainer.
I'll never forget him!
[exclaiming]
You okay, buddy?
[both exclaiming]
-[scary music plays]
-[thunder cracks]
Well, here we are!
Porky? Porky? Where are ya?
[Porky muffled] Down here.
[groaning]
Come on! Stop goofing off!
This is serious business!
Now to find a good spot
to bury this thing.
Uh, D-D-D-Daffy, I really
don't think we should be here.
Really?
What makes you say that?
Because cemeteries
creep me out.
And we broke down the gate
to get in.
So we are trespassing.
Ah, don't worry about that.
We're just here to give
my friend a proper burial.
We won't touch a thing.
[dramatic music playing]
[both laugh nervously]
What do you know?
They're still going.
Phew. That wasn't so bad.
[dramatic music playing]
Huh. Never mind!
Shake a leg, Porky!
[upbeat music playing]
Oh, I knew this was
a bad idea, Daffy.
Now what are we gonna do?
Uh, I can't think
on an empty stomach.
[gulps] Okay.
[speaking indistinctly]
[bones crashing]
Daffy, you did it.
[gulps]
I did? Well,
what do you know? [laughs]
Now to snag that open grave.
Whoo-hoo!
On the count of two. One. Two.
Boo!
[both] Ooh!
[both screaming]
[both] Run, run, run, run, run!
Look, there's a vacancy.
Ah, fits like a glove.
[laughing spookily]
[both scream]
Let's try someplace else!
[both panting]
[both] Phew.
Finally.
[organ plays scary music]
We got it! We got it!
[dramatic music playing]
[both whimpering]
[both scream]
[dramatic music playing]
[crying hysterically]
[yelps]
D-D-D-Daffy! [grunts]
[both gasp]
My TV!
TV?
I got you. I got you.
I got you.
I got you. I got you.
I got you. I got you.
I got you. I got you.
I got you. I got you.
I got you, buddy!
D-D-D-Daffy!
Are you telling me we've been
carrying around
a TV this whole time?
Because you said we were...
[stammering]
...burying your best friend!
[crying hysterically]
But he was my best friend!
We were inseparable
until last night,
when his picture fizzled out!
[spooky growling]
[suspenseful music playing]
Well, I guess this is it, pal.
[Grim Reaper]
What's wrong with your TV?
[sobs] It's broken.
[Grim Reaper] What?
Give me that thing.
Nah, this is just a blown fuse.
Ah, it's a real problem
on this model,
but it's a super easy fix.
See? Good as new.
My bud's back!
My good man,
you are a lifesaver!
Aww! [chuckles]
Twern't nothin'!
[both shaking in fear]
[both scream]
[Grim Reaper]
Oh, I hate scary movies.
[theme music playing]
[theme music playing]
Oh, these modern witches.
So young,
and yet already so ugly!
I can't stand the sight of it.
Look at me.
My skin is tightening,
my bags are receding,
even some
of my warts have cleared up.
I was once the most hideous,
repulsive,
despicably-dreadful
old hag in existence.
But now,
I'm drop-dead gorgeous!
[crying]
[yelps, grunts]
Hmm? What's this?
"Lady Ghouldiva's
unnatural uglifying potion"?
"Rids beauty, magnifies flaws,
guaranteed hideous results."
That's it!
With this brew,
I'll be so unbelievably ugly
nobody'll know
which witch is which.
[chuckles]
"Which witch is which."
[laughing loudly]
A cloven hoof,
iguana's tail,
the eyeball of a baleen whale.
[sniffs] Ah!
Repulsive.
The potion is almost complete.
Now for the final ingredient.
"One medium-sized spider."
My goodness. [chuckles]
What they can't brew
these days.
Now let's see...
[humming]
Ah! What luck!
I still have one left.
Don't be so glum.
You're going to make
something of yourself.
Well, you'll make something
of myself.
You're going to make me uglier.
[cackles]
[bubbles popping]
[upbeat music playing]
Oh, drat!
There's nothing more annoying
than an anarchist arachnid!
[grunting]
[cat yowls]
I got him now!
Oh, my!
Bamboozle me, will ya?
Take that!
[glass shatters]
[cat meows sadly]
[angrily] Oh! That little...
We'll see how smart you are
when you're looking down
the barrel of a wand!
Now, freeze!
Oh!
Take that!
And that!
And that!
Oh, drat!
You'll need more than that web
to get away from me!
[grunting]
[panting]
I need to do more cardio.
Now, where'd that
little rabble-rouser get to?
Ah-ha!
[tumbling, crashing]
Oh, you!
Gotcha!
Oh!
It's about time
I made a clean sweep
of this situation.
[inhales deeply]
[whistles]
It's so nice
to have a broom-mate.
[cackles]
[upbeat music playing]
[playful music playing]
[muffled speaking]
[screaming]
[crashes]
Oh, no, you don't!
[spider gurgling]
[hiccups]
[Witch Hazel] Gotcha!
[cackles]
You thought
you could outsmart me, eh?
Well, it takes more than 8 legs
to get a leg up on Witch Hazel.
But enough idle chit-chat.
You've got a date
with a hot cauldron.
Toodle-oo! [cackles]
[laughs nervously]
Now, now...
Let's not put all our legs
in one casket.
[upbeat music playing]
[crashes]
[groaning]
Whoa!
[crashes]
Oh, dear!
[groaning]
Huh?
What's this?
My goodness!
I'm positively hideous!
[laughing]
[shatters]
[theme music playing]
[dramatic music playing]
[mellow music playing]
[both yawning]
Boy, Sylvester.
These long road trips
really can tire a pig out.
That motel up ahead looks like
a nice place
to stop for the night.
-[organ playing scary music]
-[thunder cracks]
[gulps, shivers]
[Porky] I love roadside motels.
So quaint and charming. Uh-oh.
Oh, fiddlesticks.
Darn loose latches.
[struggling]
No! Stay back!
Go away! Please!
-No!
-[laughing maniacally]
[man screams]
Sylvester!
What's gotten into you?
[Sylvester's teeth chattering]
Oh, please!
Now get out of there,
you superstitious
son of a scaredy cat, you.
Now, come on.
[door creaks]
My, my!
What a cozy
little establishment.
[chuckles]
I just love the shabby,
old-fashioned charm
of places like these.
[bell ringing]
Quit tugging on my coat,
Sylvester!
-[man clears throat]
-[dramatic sting plays]
[grunts]
-[whimpers]
-Hey!
Oh, oh, yes.
Why, how may I help you,
gentlemen?
You see, Sylvester?
It's just an unassuming
motel manager!
And give me that!
You fearful feline, you.
Uh, pardon us, sir.
But we'd like lodging
for the night.
Why, certainly.
I just need you to sign
your name into our guest book.
Then the room is yours.
[Porky] Oh, great. Let's see.
P.
R.
Uh... Oh. K.
Y.
Uh... P-P-P.
Geez, Sylvester!
Now what's bugging you?
[sighs] Really, Sylvester.
You either need
your eyes checked
or get your head examined.
[teeth chattering]
[Porky] Lighten up, Sylvester.
There's nothing
to be scared of.
Ah, now.
Why don't you watch a little TV
while I go freshen up.
[door closes]
[man on TV] We interrupt
this program to bring you
an urgent news bulletin.
A convicted killer has just
escaped from federal prison!
Alabaster Kirwan,
also known
as the Broome County Butcher,
may be armed and dangerous.
If anyone has seen
this dangerous man...
-Huh?
-...please call your local
authorities
and take extreme caution.
Oh, Sylvester.
You shouldn't watch these
scary movies before bedtime.
Now, I'm going to
go fetch some ice
out of the ice machine.
[suspenseful music playing]
Ah, here we are.
Huh. Now, how do you
work this thing?
[light flickering]
Hey! What is it, Sylvester?
Oh, it's probably just some
old wiring or bad lightbulbs.
Well, quit distracting me,
will ya?
Cut it out, Sylvester.
[dramatic music playing]
Consarn these machines...
All the ice is stuck together.
Oh! Much obliged, kind sir!
This is exactly what I needed
to break up the stubborn ice.
There. Now,
come along, Sylvester.
[grunts]
In all my years,
I've never known
such a peculiar pussycat.
[Porky snoring]
Pass the gravy, Captain.
[floorboards creaking]
-[footsteps]
-[floorboards creaking]
[dramatic music playing]
[squeaking]
Close the window, Sylvester.
Mosquitoes are getting in.
[screams]
Sylvester!
What are you trying to do?
Scare me to death?
I mean, really.
I'm in no mood for practical
jokes this late at night.
Now, let's get some rest.
Huh?
Now is not the time for
midnight snacking, Sylvester.
Besides, you know how much
they charge for food
in the mini-fridge.
Now, go to sleep!
[suspenseful music playing]
-[grunting]
-[meowing]
[Porky] Oh.
These vibrating beds
are heavenly.
[chuckling evilly]
[grunting] Ow!
[sighs]
[Porky clears throat]
T-T-T-That does it!
Now, I gotta go
to the front desk
and ask for fresh sheets.
You've really
done it this time, Sylvester.
[rings bells continuously]
Now, stop it!
[sighs] Sylvester,
since the moment we got here,
you've been acting
like a nervous Nelly.
I put up with your shenanigans,
but this really takes the cake.
Now, I'm a tolerant person,
and I think I've been more than
patient with you until now.
But quite honestly,
I've had enough!
It's about give
and it's about take
and I've had about
all that I can take!
Now what?
[breathing heavily]
Uh, Sylvester...
Are you seeing
what I'm seeing?
[breathing heavily]
-[Porky] Look!
-Huh?
[Porky]
No complimentary breakfast?
Now, that spoils everything.
What kind of proper lodging
establishment
doesn't serve a free breakfast?
Come on, Sylvester,
we're leaving at once.
What a night
this turned out to be.
[sighs]
I guess a dollar
doesn't go too far anymore.
All these greedy proprietors,
gouging their customers
and making
an absolute killing doing so.
[scoffs] I swear.
They're practically
getting away with murder.
[killer screams] Ow!
You know, Sylvester,
running a motel doesn't seem
that hard.
Maybe we could take
a stab at it.
Because if you think I'd run
a business worse than that...
[chuckles]
Over my dead body!
[theme music playing]
[theme music playing]
[dramatic sting plays]
[Egyptian music playing]
Viva Las Vegas!
Boy, I've been looking forward
to this vacation for months!
"At Pharaoh's Dee-luxe
Resort and Casino,
our quality service
and luxurious accommodations
will leave you so satisfied,
you'll be Tutan-comin'
back for more!"
Yes, sir-ee. That's for me.
And brochures don't lie.
Now, where is that hotel?
Found it!
[doors creaking]
Huh! Must be off-peak season!
Gee, it's so dark in here
I can barely see the whiskers
in front of my face!
Look! Comic strips!
Eh, comic strips were
a lot funnier years ago.
You'd think the front desk
would be in front of the hotel.
[grunts]
Ah, the concierge.
Uh, pardon me, Doc.
But I'd like to book a room
in your fine hotel.
King-size bed, whirlpool bath,
balcony access,
close to the ice machine,
away from the elevator,
non-smoking, please?
Uh, perhaps you didn't hear me.
I want to book a room.
Maybe you didn't understand me.
I want to book a room.
Hello?
Hello? Earth to Doc!
Anyone manning
the helm up there?
[grunting]
Eh, you're no use to me.
I swear,
they hire any crumb-bum
off the street these days.
[dramatic music playing]
[growling]
Say, what have we got here?
Egyptian-style
novelty slot machines!
Now I know I got some
loose change
around here somewhere.
Nope. Nope.
-[growling]
-Come on.
Come on!
Big winner!
[alarm ringing]
Came to papa!
Hey, what is this?
Funny money? Oh, brother.
What a rip.
I can't stand this
newfangled crypto-currency.
[yelling]
Oh, boy!
This must be the buffet.
Fancy schmancy.
Let's see now.
Exotic food they got here.
Oh, well. When in Rome...
Ooh, sausage!
[humming]
Let's see, some of this
and some of that
and four of those and...
[sniffs]
Pee-uu!
This stuff is rank!
How long has this
been sitting out for?
-Weeks? Months?
-[growling]
Well, there goes my appetite.
Ugh. They don't even empty out
the trash here.
-[grunts]
-Come on!
Get. Down. In. There!
There.
The health inspector's
gonna have
a field day with this joint.
[growling]
Boy, these luxury hotels
are like mazes.
You can never find
what you're looking for.
Well, this room
is as good as any.
Now, how do you suppose
these doors open?
-[straining]
-[growling]
-Is this it?
-[grunts]
Ah! You must be
the cleaning lady.
[growls]
Gee, look at this place!
And what gaudy decor!
And look at this!
They must pay
you guys peanuts,
'cause this room is filthy.
[gasping]
[sneezes]
-[grunting]
-Oh, geez.
Now my sinuses are acting up.
[straining]
Darn sticky windows.
[grunts]
-[groaning]
-Here, Miss. Hold this.
[screams]
Still feels a bit stuffy.
Let's get some
air circulation in here.
Huh?
Come on, you finicky little...
Ah. Now, as I was...
Hey! Where'd she go?
[gulping]
[grunts, growls]
"Quality service.
Luxurious accommodations."
Oh, brother.
This place really is the pits.
-[grunting]
-No phone, no mini-fridge,
even this bed
feels like a rock.
-Geez, Louise...
-[growling]
You'd think these high-end
joints would at least
try to treat their guests well.
-[growling]
-Eh, what's up, Doc?
[mummy roaring]
[bone cracks]
[screams]
[bones crack]
[continues screaming]
-[continues screaming]
-[laughing maniacally]
[stops screaming]
[mournful music playing]
[laughing]
-[back cracking]
-Ooh! Ahh...
Wow, Doc!
You're a miracle worker!
That was, hands down,
the best deep-tissue massage
I ever had!
Hey, let's have some fun!
-[chuckling]
-[screaming]
Hey! Come back!
Where you going?
[mummy grunting]
We were just starting
to have fun!
[straining]
[screaming]
[Sphinx exclaims]
Ooh! Dang!
It "Sphinx" to be him!
[theme music playing]
[clanging]
[wind blowing]
[laughing maniacally]
[screeches]
[cackling]
[theme music playing]
[organ playing scary music]
[bat screeching]
[distant wolves howling]
[owl hooting]
[distant animal trilling]
Uh, D-D-D-Daffy?
You know, when you asked me
to help you to carry something,
I didn't know
you meant a coffin,
through the woods,
in the middle of the night.
[crying hysterically]
But it was just too darn
difficult to talk about!
[continues crying]
I suppose it would be
insensitive for me to ask
who's in the coffin.
Who died?
Only my best friend
in the whole wide world!
-[grunting]
-[Daffy crying]
It's so unfair!
We've spent
all our time together!
[blowing nose]
He was always there for me.
He always lit up the room.
The ultimate entertainer.
I'll never forget him!
[exclaiming]
You okay, buddy?
[both exclaiming]
-[scary music plays]
-[thunder cracks]
Well, here we are!
Porky? Porky? Where are ya?
[Porky muffled] Down here.
[groaning]
Come on! Stop goofing off!
This is serious business!
Now to find a good spot
to bury this thing.
Uh, D-D-D-Daffy, I really
don't think we should be here.
Really?
What makes you say that?
Because cemeteries
creep me out.
And we broke down the gate
to get in.
So we are trespassing.
Ah, don't worry about that.
We're just here to give
my friend a proper burial.
We won't touch a thing.
[dramatic music playing]
[both laugh nervously]
What do you know?
They're still going.
Phew. That wasn't so bad.
[dramatic music playing]
Huh. Never mind!
Shake a leg, Porky!
[upbeat music playing]
Oh, I knew this was
a bad idea, Daffy.
Now what are we gonna do?
Uh, I can't think
on an empty stomach.
[gulps] Okay.
[speaking indistinctly]
[bones crashing]
Daffy, you did it.
[gulps]
I did? Well,
what do you know? [laughs]
Now to snag that open grave.
Whoo-hoo!
On the count of two. One. Two.
Boo!
[both] Ooh!
[both screaming]
[both] Run, run, run, run, run!
Look, there's a vacancy.
Ah, fits like a glove.
[laughing spookily]
[both scream]
Let's try someplace else!
[both panting]
[both] Phew.
Finally.
[organ plays scary music]
We got it! We got it!
[dramatic music playing]
[both whimpering]
[both scream]
[dramatic music playing]
[crying hysterically]
[yelps]
D-D-D-Daffy! [grunts]
[both gasp]
My TV!
TV?
I got you. I got you.
I got you.
I got you. I got you.
I got you. I got you.
I got you. I got you.
I got you. I got you.
I got you, buddy!
D-D-D-Daffy!
Are you telling me we've been
carrying around
a TV this whole time?
Because you said we were...
[stammering]
...burying your best friend!
[crying hysterically]
But he was my best friend!
We were inseparable
until last night,
when his picture fizzled out!
[spooky growling]
[suspenseful music playing]
Well, I guess this is it, pal.
[Grim Reaper]
What's wrong with your TV?
[sobs] It's broken.
[Grim Reaper] What?
Give me that thing.
Nah, this is just a blown fuse.
Ah, it's a real problem
on this model,
but it's a super easy fix.
See? Good as new.
My bud's back!
My good man,
you are a lifesaver!
Aww! [chuckles]
Twern't nothin'!
[both shaking in fear]
[both scream]
[Grim Reaper]
Oh, I hate scary movies.
[theme music playing]
[theme music playing]
Oh, these modern witches.
So young,
and yet already so ugly!
I can't stand the sight of it.
Look at me.
My skin is tightening,
my bags are receding,
even some
of my warts have cleared up.
I was once the most hideous,
repulsive,
despicably-dreadful
old hag in existence.
But now,
I'm drop-dead gorgeous!
[crying]
[yelps, grunts]
Hmm? What's this?
"Lady Ghouldiva's
unnatural uglifying potion"?
"Rids beauty, magnifies flaws,
guaranteed hideous results."
That's it!
With this brew,
I'll be so unbelievably ugly
nobody'll know
which witch is which.
[chuckles]
"Which witch is which."
[laughing loudly]
A cloven hoof,
iguana's tail,
the eyeball of a baleen whale.
[sniffs] Ah!
Repulsive.
The potion is almost complete.
Now for the final ingredient.
"One medium-sized spider."
My goodness. [chuckles]
What they can't brew
these days.
Now let's see...
[humming]
Ah! What luck!
I still have one left.
Don't be so glum.
You're going to make
something of yourself.
Well, you'll make something
of myself.
You're going to make me uglier.
[cackles]
[bubbles popping]
[upbeat music playing]
Oh, drat!
There's nothing more annoying
than an anarchist arachnid!
[grunting]
[cat yowls]
I got him now!
Oh, my!
Bamboozle me, will ya?
Take that!
[glass shatters]
[cat meows sadly]
[angrily] Oh! That little...
We'll see how smart you are
when you're looking down
the barrel of a wand!
Now, freeze!
Oh!
Take that!
And that!
And that!
Oh, drat!
You'll need more than that web
to get away from me!
[grunting]
[panting]
I need to do more cardio.
Now, where'd that
little rabble-rouser get to?
Ah-ha!
[tumbling, crashing]
Oh, you!
Gotcha!
Oh!
It's about time
I made a clean sweep
of this situation.
[inhales deeply]
[whistles]
It's so nice
to have a broom-mate.
[cackles]
[upbeat music playing]
[playful music playing]
[muffled speaking]
[screaming]
[crashes]
Oh, no, you don't!
[spider gurgling]
[hiccups]
[Witch Hazel] Gotcha!
[cackles]
You thought
you could outsmart me, eh?
Well, it takes more than 8 legs
to get a leg up on Witch Hazel.
But enough idle chit-chat.
You've got a date
with a hot cauldron.
Toodle-oo! [cackles]
[laughs nervously]
Now, now...
Let's not put all our legs
in one casket.
[upbeat music playing]
[crashes]
[groaning]
Whoa!
[crashes]
Oh, dear!
[groaning]
Huh?
What's this?
My goodness!
I'm positively hideous!
[laughing]
[shatters]
[theme music playing]
[dramatic music playing]
[mellow music playing]
[both yawning]
Boy, Sylvester.
These long road trips
really can tire a pig out.
That motel up ahead looks like
a nice place
to stop for the night.
-[organ playing scary music]
-[thunder cracks]
[gulps, shivers]
[Porky] I love roadside motels.
So quaint and charming. Uh-oh.
Oh, fiddlesticks.
Darn loose latches.
[struggling]
No! Stay back!
Go away! Please!
-No!
-[laughing maniacally]
[man screams]
Sylvester!
What's gotten into you?
[Sylvester's teeth chattering]
Oh, please!
Now get out of there,
you superstitious
son of a scaredy cat, you.
Now, come on.
[door creaks]
My, my!
What a cozy
little establishment.
[chuckles]
I just love the shabby,
old-fashioned charm
of places like these.
[bell ringing]
Quit tugging on my coat,
Sylvester!
-[man clears throat]
-[dramatic sting plays]
[grunts]
-[whimpers]
-Hey!
Oh, oh, yes.
Why, how may I help you,
gentlemen?
You see, Sylvester?
It's just an unassuming
motel manager!
And give me that!
You fearful feline, you.
Uh, pardon us, sir.
But we'd like lodging
for the night.
Why, certainly.
I just need you to sign
your name into our guest book.
Then the room is yours.
[Porky] Oh, great. Let's see.
P.
R.
Uh... Oh. K.
Y.
Uh... P-P-P.
Geez, Sylvester!
Now what's bugging you?
[sighs] Really, Sylvester.
You either need
your eyes checked
or get your head examined.
[teeth chattering]
[Porky] Lighten up, Sylvester.
There's nothing
to be scared of.
Ah, now.
Why don't you watch a little TV
while I go freshen up.
[door closes]
[man on TV] We interrupt
this program to bring you
an urgent news bulletin.
A convicted killer has just
escaped from federal prison!
Alabaster Kirwan,
also known
as the Broome County Butcher,
may be armed and dangerous.
If anyone has seen
this dangerous man...
-Huh?
-...please call your local
authorities
and take extreme caution.
Oh, Sylvester.
You shouldn't watch these
scary movies before bedtime.
Now, I'm going to
go fetch some ice
out of the ice machine.
[suspenseful music playing]
Ah, here we are.
Huh. Now, how do you
work this thing?
[light flickering]
Hey! What is it, Sylvester?
Oh, it's probably just some
old wiring or bad lightbulbs.
Well, quit distracting me,
will ya?
Cut it out, Sylvester.
[dramatic music playing]
Consarn these machines...
All the ice is stuck together.
Oh! Much obliged, kind sir!
This is exactly what I needed
to break up the stubborn ice.
There. Now,
come along, Sylvester.
[grunts]
In all my years,
I've never known
such a peculiar pussycat.
[Porky snoring]
Pass the gravy, Captain.
[floorboards creaking]
-[footsteps]
-[floorboards creaking]
[dramatic music playing]
[squeaking]
Close the window, Sylvester.
Mosquitoes are getting in.
[screams]
Sylvester!
What are you trying to do?
Scare me to death?
I mean, really.
I'm in no mood for practical
jokes this late at night.
Now, let's get some rest.
Huh?
Now is not the time for
midnight snacking, Sylvester.
Besides, you know how much
they charge for food
in the mini-fridge.
Now, go to sleep!
[suspenseful music playing]
-[grunting]
-[meowing]
[Porky] Oh.
These vibrating beds
are heavenly.
[chuckling evilly]
[grunting] Ow!
[sighs]
[Porky clears throat]
T-T-T-That does it!
Now, I gotta go
to the front desk
and ask for fresh sheets.
You've really
done it this time, Sylvester.
[rings bells continuously]
Now, stop it!
[sighs] Sylvester,
since the moment we got here,
you've been acting
like a nervous Nelly.
I put up with your shenanigans,
but this really takes the cake.
Now, I'm a tolerant person,
and I think I've been more than
patient with you until now.
But quite honestly,
I've had enough!
It's about give
and it's about take
and I've had about
all that I can take!
Now what?
[breathing heavily]
Uh, Sylvester...
Are you seeing
what I'm seeing?
[breathing heavily]
-[Porky] Look!
-Huh?
[Porky]
No complimentary breakfast?
Now, that spoils everything.
What kind of proper lodging
establishment
doesn't serve a free breakfast?
Come on, Sylvester,
we're leaving at once.
What a night
this turned out to be.
[sighs]
I guess a dollar
doesn't go too far anymore.
All these greedy proprietors,
gouging their customers
and making
an absolute killing doing so.
[scoffs] I swear.
They're practically
getting away with murder.
[killer screams] Ow!
You know, Sylvester,
running a motel doesn't seem
that hard.
Maybe we could take
a stab at it.
Because if you think I'd run
a business worse than that...
[chuckles]
Over my dead body!
[theme music playing]
[theme music playing]
[dramatic sting plays]
[Egyptian music playing]
Viva Las Vegas!
Boy, I've been looking forward
to this vacation for months!
"At Pharaoh's Dee-luxe
Resort and Casino,
our quality service
and luxurious accommodations
will leave you so satisfied,
you'll be Tutan-comin'
back for more!"
Yes, sir-ee. That's for me.
And brochures don't lie.
Now, where is that hotel?
Found it!
[doors creaking]
Huh! Must be off-peak season!
Gee, it's so dark in here
I can barely see the whiskers
in front of my face!
Look! Comic strips!
Eh, comic strips were
a lot funnier years ago.
You'd think the front desk
would be in front of the hotel.
[grunts]
Ah, the concierge.
Uh, pardon me, Doc.
But I'd like to book a room
in your fine hotel.
King-size bed, whirlpool bath,
balcony access,
close to the ice machine,
away from the elevator,
non-smoking, please?
Uh, perhaps you didn't hear me.
I want to book a room.
Maybe you didn't understand me.
I want to book a room.
Hello?
Hello? Earth to Doc!
Anyone manning
the helm up there?
[grunting]
Eh, you're no use to me.
I swear,
they hire any crumb-bum
off the street these days.
[dramatic music playing]
[growling]
Say, what have we got here?
Egyptian-style
novelty slot machines!
Now I know I got some
loose change
around here somewhere.
Nope. Nope.
-[growling]
-Come on.
Come on!
Big winner!
[alarm ringing]
Came to papa!
Hey, what is this?
Funny money? Oh, brother.
What a rip.
I can't stand this
newfangled crypto-currency.
[yelling]
Oh, boy!
This must be the buffet.
Fancy schmancy.
Let's see now.
Exotic food they got here.
Oh, well. When in Rome...
Ooh, sausage!
[humming]
Let's see, some of this
and some of that
and four of those and...
[sniffs]
Pee-uu!
This stuff is rank!
How long has this
been sitting out for?
-Weeks? Months?
-[growling]
Well, there goes my appetite.
Ugh. They don't even empty out
the trash here.
-[grunts]
-Come on!
Get. Down. In. There!
There.
The health inspector's
gonna have
a field day with this joint.
[growling]
Boy, these luxury hotels
are like mazes.
You can never find
what you're looking for.
Well, this room
is as good as any.
Now, how do you suppose
these doors open?
-[straining]
-[growling]
-Is this it?
-[grunts]
Ah! You must be
the cleaning lady.
[growls]
Gee, look at this place!
And what gaudy decor!
And look at this!
They must pay
you guys peanuts,
'cause this room is filthy.
[gasping]
[sneezes]
-[grunting]
-Oh, geez.
Now my sinuses are acting up.
[straining]
Darn sticky windows.
[grunts]
-[groaning]
-Here, Miss. Hold this.
[screams]
Still feels a bit stuffy.
Let's get some
air circulation in here.
Huh?
Come on, you finicky little...
Ah. Now, as I was...
Hey! Where'd she go?
[gulping]
[grunts, growls]
"Quality service.
Luxurious accommodations."
Oh, brother.
This place really is the pits.
-[grunting]
-No phone, no mini-fridge,
even this bed
feels like a rock.
-Geez, Louise...
-[growling]
You'd think these high-end
joints would at least
try to treat their guests well.
-[growling]
-Eh, what's up, Doc?
[mummy roaring]
[bone cracks]
[screams]
[bones crack]
[continues screaming]
-[continues screaming]
-[laughing maniacally]
[stops screaming]
[mournful music playing]
[laughing]
-[back cracking]
-Ooh! Ahh...
Wow, Doc!
You're a miracle worker!
That was, hands down,
the best deep-tissue massage
I ever had!
Hey, let's have some fun!
-[chuckling]
-[screaming]
Hey! Come back!
Where you going?
[mummy grunting]
We were just starting
to have fun!
[straining]
[screaming]
[Sphinx exclaims]
Ooh! Dang!
It "Sphinx" to be him!
[theme music playing]