Looney Tunes Cartoons (2019–…): Season 2, Episode 5 - Bone Head/Relax - full transcript
Oh, how do you do?
Today I am searching
for the perfect spot
to bury my perfect bone,
to keep it perfectly safe.
Now, let us see
what is available.
Mmm, that spot is too high.
Ew, that spot stinks.
[whimpers] Let lie there.
[grunts]
It looks like
I'll never find the right...
Oh!
Now, this is the perfect spot.
Until next time, dear friend,
you're off to a safer...
[crying]
place!
Huh?
Eh, pardon me, mac,
but do you know
who this belongs to?
Of course, little gray rabbit.
That is none other
than my bone.
[gulps]
What are you doing
with my bone in my hole?
-Your hole?
-Yes, my hole! Out! Out!
Out!
[panting]
Of course
you realize this means...
[retching]
Squirrel.
[laughing] Whee!
Gee, I sure am having fun
with this brand-new bone!
Oh, good.
Even the rabbit should partake
in the joys of a bone.
Rabbit?
[breathing heavily]
What are you doing
with my bone?
You want the bone, boy?
Huh? Huh? Huh?
You want the bone?
Bow-wow. Woof-woof.
-Yes, I do.
-Then fetch!
Fear not, bone,
you are safe and sound now.
Oh, bone, you make me
feel lighter than air.
[screams, grunts]
[panting]
Out of breath already.
It's like there's no air
up here...
[gasping]
[coughing]
-Well, that takes care
of that.
-[loud thud]
[groaning]
My bone, it's okay.
[gasps]
You!
Now what?
I have a bone to pick with you.
It's your fault that
my bone is space dust.
I demand you get me a new bone,
and it better be a good one.
Or else I'll... [snarls]
[shushing]
Looking for a bone, mac?
Yes.
I know a place that sells bone.
Good stuff.
Hey, dog.
You're looking for bone?
I have all kind of bone.
-We have funny bone...
-[squeaking]
Ooh.
we have wish bone...
[exclaims excitedly]
we even have bare bone.
[groans]
Ah, I see
you're dog of quality.
For you, my friend,
may I suggest the Magnum bone?
[panting]
-Eh, she's perfect fit, huh?
-[whimpers]
[gasping] Thank you, kind sir.
How much do I owe you?
Mmm.
What is this?
Oh.
That oughta teach that mutt
not to mess with Bugs Bunny.
[laughing]
[huffing]
[growling]
You know something?
I don't just want any bone.
I want...
[grunts]
one of your bones.
[growling]
[tooting]
How do you do?
How do you do?
How do you do?
[shushes]
Look, bonehead! Look!
Here's a brand-new bone
just for you.
Wow! Thanks a lot, mister.
Thanks a lot.
Hurry! You better bury it
before that nasty old rabbit
gets back.
Bone voyage, bonehead!
This shouldn't
even happen to a dog.
[laughing]
Hyah! Hyah!
Cicero!
Hyah!
How many times
do I have to tell you
me... My machete
is not a toy!
Now, go get your truck.
And sit down.
[sighs] Okay, Uncle Porky.
[stuttering] Boy.
That kid... [stuttering]
That really stresses me out.
[sighs]
I got to calm my nerves.
Luckily, I can always turn to
my Guided Relaxation podcast.
Cicero.
I'm going to close my eyes
for two minutes.
You better be sitting
right there when I open them
back up. Understood?
Yes, Uncle Porky.
[woman over headphones]
You're listening to
Guided Relaxation.
Close your eyes
and get ready to relax.
[exhales]
Sit comfortably
and relax your shoulders.
For the next two minutes,
the world is at peace.
Feel your surroundings.
A gentle breeze
tickles your being.
Beautiful colors
ripple across the sky.
As you breathe in and out,
be reminded that
while you're in this state,
you are in a safe place
where nothing can harm you.
Reset your mind.
Imagine the world as your
own personal canvas.
While you're in this state,
relaxation is the only
currency that matters.
Breathe in and out.
[breathes deeply]
Imagine a life
free of material possessions.
Free yourself
from the stranglehold
of consumerism.
Breathe in and out.
[exhales]
Smell the golden fields
of Tuscany.
Picture a peaceful
babbling brook
or a sparkling, cascading
waterfall, perhaps.
[growling]
Remember that
sea monsters aren't real...
and aren't in your living room
right now.
Just relax.
Imagine all of your problems
washing away.
[sea monster burbling]
Washing away.
Open the window to your soul.
Reconnect with
your inner child.
Feel a positive charge
of rejuvenation.
Remember that relaxation
is a firewall keeping stress
and anxiety out of your life.
Count to three
and open your eyes.
Observe your surroundings.
You have achieved
total relaxation.
[screaming]
[panting wheezily]
I'm gonna need
a few more minutes.
[woman over headphones]
You're listening to
Guided Relaxation.
Today I am searching
for the perfect spot
to bury my perfect bone,
to keep it perfectly safe.
Now, let us see
what is available.
Mmm, that spot is too high.
Ew, that spot stinks.
[whimpers] Let lie there.
[grunts]
It looks like
I'll never find the right...
Oh!
Now, this is the perfect spot.
Until next time, dear friend,
you're off to a safer...
[crying]
place!
Huh?
Eh, pardon me, mac,
but do you know
who this belongs to?
Of course, little gray rabbit.
That is none other
than my bone.
[gulps]
What are you doing
with my bone in my hole?
-Your hole?
-Yes, my hole! Out! Out!
Out!
[panting]
Of course
you realize this means...
[retching]
Squirrel.
[laughing] Whee!
Gee, I sure am having fun
with this brand-new bone!
Oh, good.
Even the rabbit should partake
in the joys of a bone.
Rabbit?
[breathing heavily]
What are you doing
with my bone?
You want the bone, boy?
Huh? Huh? Huh?
You want the bone?
Bow-wow. Woof-woof.
-Yes, I do.
-Then fetch!
Fear not, bone,
you are safe and sound now.
Oh, bone, you make me
feel lighter than air.
[screams, grunts]
[panting]
Out of breath already.
It's like there's no air
up here...
[gasping]
[coughing]
-Well, that takes care
of that.
-[loud thud]
[groaning]
My bone, it's okay.
[gasps]
You!
Now what?
I have a bone to pick with you.
It's your fault that
my bone is space dust.
I demand you get me a new bone,
and it better be a good one.
Or else I'll... [snarls]
[shushing]
Looking for a bone, mac?
Yes.
I know a place that sells bone.
Good stuff.
Hey, dog.
You're looking for bone?
I have all kind of bone.
-We have funny bone...
-[squeaking]
Ooh.
we have wish bone...
[exclaims excitedly]
we even have bare bone.
[groans]
Ah, I see
you're dog of quality.
For you, my friend,
may I suggest the Magnum bone?
[panting]
-Eh, she's perfect fit, huh?
-[whimpers]
[gasping] Thank you, kind sir.
How much do I owe you?
Mmm.
What is this?
Oh.
That oughta teach that mutt
not to mess with Bugs Bunny.
[laughing]
[huffing]
[growling]
You know something?
I don't just want any bone.
I want...
[grunts]
one of your bones.
[growling]
[tooting]
How do you do?
How do you do?
How do you do?
[shushes]
Look, bonehead! Look!
Here's a brand-new bone
just for you.
Wow! Thanks a lot, mister.
Thanks a lot.
Hurry! You better bury it
before that nasty old rabbit
gets back.
Bone voyage, bonehead!
This shouldn't
even happen to a dog.
[laughing]
Hyah! Hyah!
Cicero!
Hyah!
How many times
do I have to tell you
me... My machete
is not a toy!
Now, go get your truck.
And sit down.
[sighs] Okay, Uncle Porky.
[stuttering] Boy.
That kid... [stuttering]
That really stresses me out.
[sighs]
I got to calm my nerves.
Luckily, I can always turn to
my Guided Relaxation podcast.
Cicero.
I'm going to close my eyes
for two minutes.
You better be sitting
right there when I open them
back up. Understood?
Yes, Uncle Porky.
[woman over headphones]
You're listening to
Guided Relaxation.
Close your eyes
and get ready to relax.
[exhales]
Sit comfortably
and relax your shoulders.
For the next two minutes,
the world is at peace.
Feel your surroundings.
A gentle breeze
tickles your being.
Beautiful colors
ripple across the sky.
As you breathe in and out,
be reminded that
while you're in this state,
you are in a safe place
where nothing can harm you.
Reset your mind.
Imagine the world as your
own personal canvas.
While you're in this state,
relaxation is the only
currency that matters.
Breathe in and out.
[breathes deeply]
Imagine a life
free of material possessions.
Free yourself
from the stranglehold
of consumerism.
Breathe in and out.
[exhales]
Smell the golden fields
of Tuscany.
Picture a peaceful
babbling brook
or a sparkling, cascading
waterfall, perhaps.
[growling]
Remember that
sea monsters aren't real...
and aren't in your living room
right now.
Just relax.
Imagine all of your problems
washing away.
[sea monster burbling]
Washing away.
Open the window to your soul.
Reconnect with
your inner child.
Feel a positive charge
of rejuvenation.
Remember that relaxation
is a firewall keeping stress
and anxiety out of your life.
Count to three
and open your eyes.
Observe your surroundings.
You have achieved
total relaxation.
[screaming]
[panting wheezily]
I'm gonna need
a few more minutes.
[woman over headphones]
You're listening to
Guided Relaxation.