Looney Tunes Cartoons (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - Buzzard School/Giant Alien Mouth/Wet Cement - full transcript

[theme music playing]

[humming]

[sniffling]

Aah!

[in Italian accent]
This pasta primavera is

gonna be perfect!

Just a little salt,
a pinch of pepper,

and finally
the rabbit meatballs.

-[Beaky humming]
-Beaky!

You are supposed to get
the rabbit for the meatballs!

Ooh, ooh.



Almost got it that time.

[humming]

Beaky, my little Boobadiel.

You want to make
your mama proud, right?

Oh, yup, yup, yup, yup.
Mmm-hmm.

And you know nothing would
make your mama more happy

than doing
what she asks you to do, right?

Oh, yup, yup, yup.
Oh, yup, mmm-hmm.

Very good.

Now, go out and fetch your mama

a nice juicy rabbit for dinner.

[shouting angrily] And don't
come back until you do!

Gosh, I better make my ma
proud of me and catch a rabbit.

[humming]



[humming stops]

[beeping]

Aha! Jackpot!

Just what I needed!

Now all I need
is a can opener.

Ah, there's one.

How convenient.

-[metal squeaking]
-[grunts] There!

Bottoms up!

[glugging]

[Beaky grunting]

Oh! Aw, shucks.

[straining]

Eh, what's up, Doc?

[straining] I'm looking
for a rabbit.

A rabbit, huh?

-[straining]
-So tell me, Doc,

when you find this, uh,
rabbit, what are you

gonna do with it?

Naw, naw, no, I can't say it.
No, no, nope.

Ah, come on!
Tell me.

Naw, naw, naw,
it's too gruesome.

Too gruesome.

-No, no, no.
-I'm genuinely curious.

Please!

Well, uh,
I shouldn't tell you,

but if I could, I'd say,

I'm gonna catch him
and maul him and beat him

and skin him

and grind him up
and make him

into rabbit meatballs.

But I'm not gonna tell ya.
Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Uh, listen, Doc, I don't mean
to toot my own horn,

but, uh, I'm an expert
at catching rabbits.

You are?

Oh, oh. Will you help me
catch a rabbit?

Oh, will you, will you? Please?

I'll do better than that,
my fine feathered friend.

I'll teach ya!

Now just sit down here.

[clears throat]
Greetings, class!

Welcome to Rabbit Hunting 101.

Time to take attendance.

Anyone who's here,
raise your hand.

Oh, oh, oh, present!

[chuckling]

Now, uh, lesson one.

Outsmarting rabbits.

It's common knowledge
that rabbits are really

good at multiplying.

Now, come up
to the board, please.

Solve this
multiplication problem.

Now, uh, let's see, um...

Now, don't tell me,
now, don't tell me, uh...

Um, um, uh...
Is it one?

Wrong. Try again.

Uh, two?

[Beaky groaning]

Nope. Uh-uh.
Not. Nah.

Nein. Not a sausage.

Eh, don't sweat over it
too much, Doc.

You'll never need this stuff
in the real world, anyway.

Now, for lesson two.

Tracking rabbits.

If you want to find
a rabbit, you gotta learn

to follow their tracks.

Now, do you see any tracks?

[excitedly] Oh, uh, uh,
I found 'em.

I found tracks.
Yup, yup, I found them.

Good job, kiddo.
Now, follow them

and you'll find that rabbit.

-[Beaky] I hear something.
-What's it sound like?

[Beaky] Well, it kind of sounds
like a tra--

[train tooting]

[groggy] Whoa, wait a minute.

I don't think
that was a rabbit at all.

I think that was a train!

Were you trying to trick me?

Trick ya? Nah. Nah.
I wasn't trying to trick ya.

I was uh, "training" ya.

Oh, really?

Makes perfect sense to me.

Oh, yup, yup.

Come on, Spinoza.

Time for lesson three.

Trapping rabbits.

[Beaky grunting]

Is that high enough?

Nah. A little higher, Doc.

[grunting]

All right. That looks good.

Hold it right there.

Boy, oh, boy.

That's a nice-looking
rabbit trap.

[chuckles] Yup, yup, yup.
Sure is.

Ah, wait a second.

I almost forget
the most important part

of the trap, Doc.

-Uh, what's that?
-The bait.

Uh, say, Mac.

Could you do me a favor
and place the bait

under the trap for me?

Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
huh, huh, I can do that.

Uh, place the bait.
[chuckles]

Uh... Is this
where I place it?

A little further, Doc.

[chuckles] Yeah, yeah,
a little further.

All right, Doc,
right there.

Uh, like this?

Perfect!

Okay, I placed the bai--

[straining]

Did the trap work?

You bet it did, Doc!

You caught your first rabbit.

I did? Uh, where?
Where's the rabbit?

He's right here. See?

[chuckles]

Oh! Gotcha! [chokes]

[grunting]

That's it! Take him down!

You got him, Doc.
Give him a left!

And a right.
And another. And--

He sure is
a slippery fella.

Here, finish him off
with this.

Thanks.
Oh, now, I gotcha!

[Beaky hitting himself
and groaning]

-Well, did I get him?
-[birds tweeting]

Oh, did I get the rabbit?

Bravo, Doc.

You did it. You passed
the class with flying colors.

Therefore, I present you
with this diploma.

[excitedly] Oh, boy, oh, boy.
I got a rabbit and a dee-ploma.

Oh, Ma!

Look what I got, Ma.

I caught you a rabbit,
and I got an edjumacation.

[chuckling] Are you proud
of me, Ma?

Are you proud of me?

[Mama Buzzard] Beaky, no!

Oh, they blow up so fast.

[imitating crying]

Ah, well. Class dismissed.

[theme music playing]

I claim this planet
in the name of Mars.

[chomping, slurps]

You will relieve yourself
of that flag,

and return it at once.

[burping]

Come out and fight me
like a Martian.

Oh, uh, never mind.
[chuckles nervously]

As you were.

[growls]

[growling softly]

[theme music playing]

[Porky humming]

Oh, huh? Aww.

[humming]

[disgruntled groan]

[muttering under breath]

What a mess.

Ohh!

[groans]

[dogs barking]

[engine revving]

[Daffy] Hoo-hoo!

[stammering] Phew.

Huh!

Hmm.

[frustrated growl] Ohh!

[bell dings]

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

[music playing]

[triumphant music playing]

[both grunting]

[birds tweeting]

[whirring]

[jaunty whistling]

I am one stuck duck!

[theme music playing]