Looney Tunes Cartoons (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Pest Coaster/Rhino Ya Don't - full transcript

[theme music playing]

[rumbling]

Hello,
Democratic Republic of Con-go!

Maybe I should have
turned left at Luxembourg.

Say, what kinda place
is this anyway?

[wind blows]

"Amusement Park.

3rd or 4th Happiest Place
on Earth.

Give or Take."

Hey, a rabbit could get used
to a place like this!

Especially, since I tunneled
right past the admission booth.



Games, prizes,
food high in saturated fat,

this place isn't
kiddin' around. I am amused.

Perhaps I should try
going on a ride

to round out
this delightful experience.

Hmm, what to choose?

[gasps]

The Murderizer!

Oh, it's perfect!

Have a rootin' tootin'
death defyin' time! [laughs]

Now, wait just
a doggone minute!

Rule number one.

No filthy animals on my ride!

No place for any filthy,
furry, flea-ridden creatures

on my coaster.



Now, that's more like it.

What in tarnation?

Oh, no, you don't.

Can't you read the sign?

Eh, who's making
these needlessly

indiscriminatory rules, Doc?

I am!

So take your no-good,
rabbit carcass

back to the stink factory!

[thuds]

Okay, now I gotta
get on that ride.

Strap in, ladies and jerks,

for the murderinest ride
of your misery-filled lives!

[Bugs] Wait!

[Sam catcalls]

[in woman's voice]
Room for one more rider?

[clangs]

Why, yes of course!
Right this way.

[Bugs] Why thank you, handsome.

Oh, my.

Hold on tight
and prepare
for the murderinest ride

of your pretty little life.

[in normal voice] Whee!

Boy, oh, boy!

That is my type of woman.

-Huh?
-[laughs merrily]

Ooh, that low-down
dirty rabbit!

Aw! Dangnabbit!
I'm a-comin' for you, rabbit!

-Say your prayers, varmint!
-Oh, brother.

[grunts]

Sorry, Doc, I thought
I'd change seats.

Hope that's not a problem.

I'm the only problem
you gotta worry about!

[grunts]

Decided to change again.

[grunting]

Where are you, rabbit? Oh...

[grunting]

[honking]

Ah-ha!

Shouldn't you be seated

with your safety restraint on,
Mac?

Hey! I'm a-callin'
the shots here!

I'm just sayin'.

The first drop
is a bit of a lulu!

[grunts]

Whoo-hoo!

[bones rattling]

How's this for the final blow?

[takes deep breath and blows]

[thuds]

[crows cawing]

Shoo! Shoo! You lousy bird!

[Bugs] Whee! [laughs]

I'm having the time of my life!

One man's loss
is another man's dead rabbit.

Yeah!

Ride's over now, rabbit!

[metal clanking]

[thuds]

[Sam] Oh, I hate that rabbit.

[Sam] Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

[Bugs screaming]

[Bugs laughing]

[fuse crackling]

[laughs] They don't call this
The Murderizer for nothin'.

What the tarhooty!

Oh, you're doing so good

on your very first
rollercoaster ride

with Uncle Bugs.

These moments
are just so precious.

[screams] I'm a-comin', baby!

[blowing]

Now, don't be sad
when it's over.

We can always ride it again.

[grunts]

[sizzling]

[sighs in relief]

[honking]

And don't forget,

I'll always be here for you
no matter what.

Phew!

Boy, am I sure relieved
I didn't hurt that baby.

I despise me some animals,

but I would never hurt
an innocent little baby.

I'll even prove it to you!

Ma'am, is this here
your precious baby?

Why, y-yes, it is.

Would you mind
if I popped my head in

and gave your baby a kiss?

I suppose
that would be all right.

Hey there, junior.

Your Uncle Sam is gonna pop in
for a little kiss.

[explosion]

[groaning]

Toilet bowl...

full of dynamite...

That's what you get
for messin' with my baby!

Ain't that right, Junior?

[baby laughs,
in automated voice]
I want candy!

Oh, they grow up so fast.

[theme music playing]

[singing with a lisp]
♪ I am vacuuming the rhino ♪

♪ All the live long day ♪

[fly buzzing]

Rest in peace, horsefly!

Me and the rhinoceros
have a symbiotic relationship.

[clanging]

[laughing heartily]

Get a load of these
uncivilized beasts!

[imitates chimpanzee]

Ha! Look at this
knuckle dragger!

Hey, ugly. Fetch!

[growling]

Eh, shut your apehole.

[gasps]

What do we have here?

[slurping]

Lunch is served.

[creaking]

I tawt I taw a puddy cat.

I did, I did taw a puddy cat!

[slashing]

Thanks, Mr. Rhinoceros.

Stupid, ugly, dumb zoo animals.

Oh, uh... Hey, there.

Listen, uh,
about what I said earlier...

[roars]

[grunting]

[growling]

[grinding]

[whirring]

Uh-oh.

[clanking]

[effort grunts]

That is one persistent puddy.

Hmm...

Ah-ha!

[choking]

[screaming]

[thuds]

[muffled screams]

Hello, Mr. Puddy.

[sinister laugh]

Whoa! Whoa!

Steady! Steady, now.

Oh, look at me.

I'm balancing.

Whoa! [laughs]

[man] Hey, Skip, what the heck
is going on?

You're not supposed
to be cleaning the rhino cage!

I told you to clean out
the giant scorpion cage!

Hey, fellas,
just take it easy, huh?

[screaming]

[man] Wow! Great job
in there, Skip!

Now you gotta clean out
the python cage!

-[pythons hissing]
-[muffled screaming]

[man] Excellent work, Skip.

Now I've got you down
for the electric

-jellyfish tank.
-No. Wait.

-[electricity crackling]
-[muffled groans]

[grunts]

I hate the zoo.

♪ This is the way
We brush our horn ♪

♪ Brush our horn,
Brush our horn ♪

Okay, let's see
what you can do.

Hologram 3000.

[magical music plays]

Perfect.

♪ Scrubby scrub
Scrub, scrub,
Scrub, scrub, scrub ♪

♪ Scrub, scrub, scrub
Scrub, scrub, scrub ♪

[Sylvester] Hey, rhino!

You think you're horn
needs brushin',

well, why don't you come on
over here and brush this?

[growling]

[thuds]

Aw, and you just polished
that horn.

What a shame.

Uh-oh.

[rumbling]

[loud crash]

[crashes and thuds]

[rumbling]

Ooh, I just love
hologram technology. [laughs]

[panting]

[seal barking]

[exhales]

Just a dumb baby seal.

[wood thuds]

[theme music playing]