Looney Tunes Cartoons (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 26 - Mallard Practice/Beaky Buzzard: Mouse/Born to be Wile E. - full transcript
Daffy Duck acts as Elmer Fudd's lawyer in a court case over a parking ticket. Beaky Buzzard tries to catch a mouse. Wile E. Coyote tries to catch Road Runner using a motorcycle.
[theme music playing]
Oh, what a nuisance.
But it's only $30,
so I might as well pay it.
Case number 324!
Case number 324!
Court is in session!
That's me, Your Honor!
Do you have a lawyer or do you
need one appointed for you?
No, I'll just pay the--
Sorry I'm late!
I spent forever trying to
stuff this suitcase
full of paper.
[laughs nervously]
Who are you?
Duh, I'm your...
[shouts] Lawyer!
Lawyer? But it's just $30.
I'll win your case
and I'll do it for free!
I'm trying to build
a reputation here.
Well, I could always use $30.
Trust me, pal,
you'll never pay any fines
with me on your side.
Daffy, Lawyer Esquire.
[Elmer reading]
Whoo-hoo!
[judge] Well?
Yeah, Your Honor,
this duck is my lawyer.
How do you plead?
Like this, Your Honor...
Please! Please!
Oh take pity on me!
Order! Order in the court!
I reckon I'll order a tuna melt.
Does that come with fries?
[scoffs] Are you trying to turn
my courtroom into a circus?
A big prize
for our big strong man!
So cute!
Whoo-hoo!
Counsel! How do you plead?
Your Honor, my client wouldn't
not say he isn't not innocent
if he wasn't not guilty.
Uh... Meh... Hmm...
Look at the evidence, Judge!
How could my client be speeding,
when, at the time
of the alleged crime,
I have this
evidence of him
loitering on the other side
of the city.
Totally really him.
Then mere minutes later,
we can witness
he is jaywalking,
not speeding!
And finally my client
couldn't be speeding,
because I have this footage
of him robbing the local bank!
[alarm bell ringing]
[gasps]
What are you doing,
you scwoowy duck?
The defense rests!
[snoring]
Hey, you're my wawyer,
you gotta fix this!
I call my first witness,
Elmer!
Don't worry. This is all part
of my legal stratatugy.
Wait, what?
C'mon, Judge! Is this
the face of a criminal?
He's harmless!
He can't even defend himself!
-Ow!
-See?
Okay, Elmer Fudge,
if that's your real name.
It's Fudd, actually.
Well, where were you
on the night of April 3rd, 1862?
Why... I wasn't even born yet!
Ah-ha! A draft dodger, eh?
Mr. Fudge, have you ever
heard of Count Dracula?
Uh, yes, but I don't see...
So! You admit that you
and evil Count Dracula
are close acquaintances.
Maybe even best friends?
-[Elmer] I didn't say--
-And, Mr. Fudge,
What does
I-C-H-E-A-T-
O-N-M-Y-T-A-X-E-S spell?
"I cheat on my taxes?"
Whoa! A tax cheat, too?
That's the lowest of the low!
It is.
I object! What are you doing,
you scwewy duck?
You're wuining me!
[judge] Ahem!
I have a verdict.
In light of solid evidence
provided by the defense,
on the charges of speeding,
I'm finding the defendant...
Not guilty.
Oh, wow! Thank you so much,
Mr. Duck! You weally did it!
[Judge] Ahem!
However, for loitering,
jaywalking, robbing a bank,
draft dodging,
tax evasion, and this
recent attempted murder...
Wait, wha... Wha... What?
Aw, you!
I hereby sentence you
to the electric chair!
This is a mistake!
A big mistake!
You darn duck!
This is all your fault!
But, Mack, I made good
on my promise.
You don't have to pay any fines.
Woo-hoo!
No!
Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
[theme music playing]
[humming "Baby Bumble Bee"]
Huh? Ooh boy, I think I just
spotted a snack, yup, yup.
[screams]
I gotcha! [laughs] I sure did!
I gotcha. Ho!
And you thought you could
run away from me.
Nope, nope, nope.
I wasn't runnin' away from you.
I was running away from him.
[growls]
[slurps]
[belches]
Ha! Excuse me.
[theme music playing]
[engine revving]
Beep! Beep!
[engine revving]
[tires screeching]
[coughing]
Beep! Beep!
[horn honking]
[engine sputtering]
[slurping]
[crashing]
[exploding]
[fire alarm ringing]
[engine revving]
[thuds]
Beep! Beep!
Beep! Beep!
Beep! Beep!
[theme music playing]
Oh, what a nuisance.
But it's only $30,
so I might as well pay it.
Case number 324!
Case number 324!
Court is in session!
That's me, Your Honor!
Do you have a lawyer or do you
need one appointed for you?
No, I'll just pay the--
Sorry I'm late!
I spent forever trying to
stuff this suitcase
full of paper.
[laughs nervously]
Who are you?
Duh, I'm your...
[shouts] Lawyer!
Lawyer? But it's just $30.
I'll win your case
and I'll do it for free!
I'm trying to build
a reputation here.
Well, I could always use $30.
Trust me, pal,
you'll never pay any fines
with me on your side.
Daffy, Lawyer Esquire.
[Elmer reading]
Whoo-hoo!
[judge] Well?
Yeah, Your Honor,
this duck is my lawyer.
How do you plead?
Like this, Your Honor...
Please! Please!
Oh take pity on me!
Order! Order in the court!
I reckon I'll order a tuna melt.
Does that come with fries?
[scoffs] Are you trying to turn
my courtroom into a circus?
A big prize
for our big strong man!
So cute!
Whoo-hoo!
Counsel! How do you plead?
Your Honor, my client wouldn't
not say he isn't not innocent
if he wasn't not guilty.
Uh... Meh... Hmm...
Look at the evidence, Judge!
How could my client be speeding,
when, at the time
of the alleged crime,
I have this
evidence of him
loitering on the other side
of the city.
Totally really him.
Then mere minutes later,
we can witness
he is jaywalking,
not speeding!
And finally my client
couldn't be speeding,
because I have this footage
of him robbing the local bank!
[alarm bell ringing]
[gasps]
What are you doing,
you scwoowy duck?
The defense rests!
[snoring]
Hey, you're my wawyer,
you gotta fix this!
I call my first witness,
Elmer!
Don't worry. This is all part
of my legal stratatugy.
Wait, what?
C'mon, Judge! Is this
the face of a criminal?
He's harmless!
He can't even defend himself!
-Ow!
-See?
Okay, Elmer Fudge,
if that's your real name.
It's Fudd, actually.
Well, where were you
on the night of April 3rd, 1862?
Why... I wasn't even born yet!
Ah-ha! A draft dodger, eh?
Mr. Fudge, have you ever
heard of Count Dracula?
Uh, yes, but I don't see...
So! You admit that you
and evil Count Dracula
are close acquaintances.
Maybe even best friends?
-[Elmer] I didn't say--
-And, Mr. Fudge,
What does
I-C-H-E-A-T-
O-N-M-Y-T-A-X-E-S spell?
"I cheat on my taxes?"
Whoa! A tax cheat, too?
That's the lowest of the low!
It is.
I object! What are you doing,
you scwewy duck?
You're wuining me!
[judge] Ahem!
I have a verdict.
In light of solid evidence
provided by the defense,
on the charges of speeding,
I'm finding the defendant...
Not guilty.
Oh, wow! Thank you so much,
Mr. Duck! You weally did it!
[Judge] Ahem!
However, for loitering,
jaywalking, robbing a bank,
draft dodging,
tax evasion, and this
recent attempted murder...
Wait, wha... Wha... What?
Aw, you!
I hereby sentence you
to the electric chair!
This is a mistake!
A big mistake!
You darn duck!
This is all your fault!
But, Mack, I made good
on my promise.
You don't have to pay any fines.
Woo-hoo!
No!
Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
[theme music playing]
[humming "Baby Bumble Bee"]
Huh? Ooh boy, I think I just
spotted a snack, yup, yup.
[screams]
I gotcha! [laughs] I sure did!
I gotcha. Ho!
And you thought you could
run away from me.
Nope, nope, nope.
I wasn't runnin' away from you.
I was running away from him.
[growls]
[slurps]
[belches]
Ha! Excuse me.
[theme music playing]
[engine revving]
Beep! Beep!
[engine revving]
[tires screeching]
[coughing]
Beep! Beep!
[horn honking]
[engine sputtering]
[slurping]
[crashing]
[exploding]
[fire alarm ringing]
[engine revving]
[thuds]
Beep! Beep!
Beep! Beep!
Beep! Beep!
[theme music playing]