Looney Tunes Cartoons (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 21 - Shell Shocked/The Daffy Dentist - full transcript
Bugs Bunny races against Cecil Turtle for the title of "fastest thing in New York City". The only thing more painful than Porky Pig's sore tooth is a visit to dentist Daffy Duck.
[theme music playing]
[train hoots]
Whoo-hoo!
Made it from the Bronx
to Brooklyn in no time!
Who needs the stinkin' subway
when you're the fastest thing
in New York City!
Say what's this?
"The actual fastest thing
in New York City!
[reading poorly] See-Seel,
the spe-aed de moon toi-tell?"
Eh. What a load of fake news.
That dope is slower
than my grandma.
That guy hasn't accomplished
a single daaang...
...thing.
"Need space?
Call 'Cecc'"
"Eau de speed."
"Cecil in The Fast Lane
The Movie."
"Looney Tunes Comics
starring Cecil the Fastest."
Even faster than Bugs Bunny!"
[grunting] Oh, no, he's not!
[grunting]
The whole world's
gone upside down.
Topsy-turvy!
Toitles ain't
faster than rabbits!
Why if that twerp
were here right now, I'd...
I'd... I'd...
Challenge him to a race?
[inhales deeply]
Yes!
All right, rabbit!
But I'm warning ya,
I'm purr-eee-tyy
...fast!
Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.
Now, uh, let's see here.
First one to that
red light post
on the next block wins!
Comprendo?
Okay, the red light post
on the next block. Mmm-hmm.
Not the blue one
or the green one or the--
Yes, yes. The red one!
-Now, let's get a move on,
short stack!
-Hmm.
On your mark.
Get set! Go!
So long, soup for brains!
Woo-hoo!
Well, guess, I'll have to work
that ol' Cecil Turtle magic.
[humming a casual tune]
[whistles]
[humming]
Head all the way to St. Louis!
And step on it, please!
[panting]
Boy, am I fast or what!
Nothing can stop me now!
[panting]
Hello there, rabbit!
Oh! Hello, toitle!
[panting]
What a friendly toitle...
[screams] Toitle?
[grunting with effort]
[panting]
Hey! I won! I knew
I could beat him all along.
I bet right now that toitle
is miles and miles behind me!
What took you so long, rabbit?
But how did you...
Who did you...
Mah... Mah-mah-moo!
Okay, okay you may be
faster than me on foot,
but I bet you
ain't faster than me at...
uh, um... Uh.
Ah!
Multiplying!
May the fastest
and fairest multiplayer win!
Sure thing, rabbit!
[sinister chuckling]
[whispering] This oughta show
him who's the fastest
or else my name isn't--
Oh, Speedy, I'm finished.
Huh?
Believe it or not, we turtles
are pretty fast at...
-multiplying.
-Multiplying.
[inhales intensely]
[calmly] Pardon me, Cecil.
-Shoo! Shoo! Get out of here!
-[crashing]
[breathing heavily]
[grunting]
Face it, rabbit,
I'm just faster than you.
[chuckles evilly]
[sing-songy] Oh, Cecil,
I know something
you can never beat me at!
Uh...
That's right, butter boy!
Eating carrots!
The first chump
to eat all their carrots wins!
Mmm, packed with vitamin A!
Oh, it's gonna be packed
with something all right!
[chuckles evilly]
[humming]
If you can't beat 'em,
blast 'em!
Rest in pieces, Toitle McGee!
[intense music]
[slow flute tune]
[intense music]
[slow flute tune]
[intense music]
What? Finished already?
Where's Cecil?
Where's the bomb?
Ha!
[gasps] There's the bomb!
[explosion]
Looks like I, um,
win again, Doc!
Guess I can just beat
you at, um,
[clicks tongue] anything.
Oh, no, no no!
I just realized one thing
I can beat you at.
Losing! [crying]
[theme music playing]
My sweet tooth has turned
into a rotten tooth.
[rhythmic beating]
[shatters]
[gloomy cowboy music playing]
[screeches]
This was the only dentist
open on a Saturday.
Hello? Anybody there?
Good day, sir,
what seems to be the problem?
My t-t-t...
Say no more, honey baby,
I just need you to sign this.
Autograph this.
Oh, and fill these out too.
Mother's maiden name... Ow!
Mother's phone number... Ouch!
Mother's plans tonight...
These questions
are very thorough.
Ouch!
I finished
all the paperwork, ma'am.
Great, let me just
process this.
[cheering]
Excuse me, nurse!
Can you tell me
what's taking so long?
Ah, ya win some,
ya lose some.
[growling]
Next patient!
[cordially]
Get on in here, pal!
Y'know, I feel all better now.
Thanks!
Oh, no, ya don't!
What seems to be
the problem, chum?
I have a sore t-t-t...
Toenail? Tendon?
Triple chin? Ticonderoga?
Come on, out with it!
[pulsing]
X-ray! Woo-hoo!
Hmm...
[screams]
A skeleton!
Stay back, you demon!
Take that!
Ya gotta be more careful, bud.
That ghoul almost got ya!
Let's just do this
the old-fashioned way, huh?
Open wide.
Wider.
Wider still.
Wider!
[Porky groans]
That's better.
Now, let's see...
[playing tropical music]
[buzzes]
Ow!
[Daffy] A-ha!
That's the bad tooth!
[bell dings]
Looks like
it's tooth-hurty o' clock, bub!
I'm gonna give you a crown,
but I'm the king here! See?
Brace yourself!
One novocain special,
and make it a double.
Drill sergeant Daffy here
to whip your rotten mouth
into shape!
[whirring]
[heart beating]
[tooth throbbing]
Now, let's see those chompers,
Private!
[hesitating] Yes, sir.
Ah.
I want that tooth so hole-y
it looks like Swiss cheese!
[coughing] Hey, that
looks like a fire hazard!
Oh, I didn't know it
was Saturday!
[singing]
Oh, yeah! Gotta have
good hygiene for this job.
Complimentary tooth brush?
Hey, knock off all the jokes!
Would you please
just take this tooth out!
It's killing me...
It really hurts.
Of course,
why didn't you just ask, chum?
[chuckling insanely]
No, no, nah, not today.
A-ha! Rope!
Now, you may feel
a slight pressure.
[patriotic music playing]
[plane diving]
My tooth is still there!
Lemme just try one more thing!
No way! You're a fraud!
Stay back!
Hey, my tooth came out!
Huh, I feel great!
That'll be $5 billion, please.
Cash or credit?
[mumbles]
I'll also accept
a cashier's check, money order,
or crypto currency.
[train hoots]
Whoo-hoo!
Made it from the Bronx
to Brooklyn in no time!
Who needs the stinkin' subway
when you're the fastest thing
in New York City!
Say what's this?
"The actual fastest thing
in New York City!
[reading poorly] See-Seel,
the spe-aed de moon toi-tell?"
Eh. What a load of fake news.
That dope is slower
than my grandma.
That guy hasn't accomplished
a single daaang...
...thing.
"Need space?
Call 'Cecc'"
"Eau de speed."
"Cecil in The Fast Lane
The Movie."
"Looney Tunes Comics
starring Cecil the Fastest."
Even faster than Bugs Bunny!"
[grunting] Oh, no, he's not!
[grunting]
The whole world's
gone upside down.
Topsy-turvy!
Toitles ain't
faster than rabbits!
Why if that twerp
were here right now, I'd...
I'd... I'd...
Challenge him to a race?
[inhales deeply]
Yes!
All right, rabbit!
But I'm warning ya,
I'm purr-eee-tyy
...fast!
Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.
Now, uh, let's see here.
First one to that
red light post
on the next block wins!
Comprendo?
Okay, the red light post
on the next block. Mmm-hmm.
Not the blue one
or the green one or the--
Yes, yes. The red one!
-Now, let's get a move on,
short stack!
-Hmm.
On your mark.
Get set! Go!
So long, soup for brains!
Woo-hoo!
Well, guess, I'll have to work
that ol' Cecil Turtle magic.
[humming a casual tune]
[whistles]
[humming]
Head all the way to St. Louis!
And step on it, please!
[panting]
Boy, am I fast or what!
Nothing can stop me now!
[panting]
Hello there, rabbit!
Oh! Hello, toitle!
[panting]
What a friendly toitle...
[screams] Toitle?
[grunting with effort]
[panting]
Hey! I won! I knew
I could beat him all along.
I bet right now that toitle
is miles and miles behind me!
What took you so long, rabbit?
But how did you...
Who did you...
Mah... Mah-mah-moo!
Okay, okay you may be
faster than me on foot,
but I bet you
ain't faster than me at...
uh, um... Uh.
Ah!
Multiplying!
May the fastest
and fairest multiplayer win!
Sure thing, rabbit!
[sinister chuckling]
[whispering] This oughta show
him who's the fastest
or else my name isn't--
Oh, Speedy, I'm finished.
Huh?
Believe it or not, we turtles
are pretty fast at...
-multiplying.
-Multiplying.
[inhales intensely]
[calmly] Pardon me, Cecil.
-Shoo! Shoo! Get out of here!
-[crashing]
[breathing heavily]
[grunting]
Face it, rabbit,
I'm just faster than you.
[chuckles evilly]
[sing-songy] Oh, Cecil,
I know something
you can never beat me at!
Uh...
That's right, butter boy!
Eating carrots!
The first chump
to eat all their carrots wins!
Mmm, packed with vitamin A!
Oh, it's gonna be packed
with something all right!
[chuckles evilly]
[humming]
If you can't beat 'em,
blast 'em!
Rest in pieces, Toitle McGee!
[intense music]
[slow flute tune]
[intense music]
[slow flute tune]
[intense music]
What? Finished already?
Where's Cecil?
Where's the bomb?
Ha!
[gasps] There's the bomb!
[explosion]
Looks like I, um,
win again, Doc!
Guess I can just beat
you at, um,
[clicks tongue] anything.
Oh, no, no no!
I just realized one thing
I can beat you at.
Losing! [crying]
[theme music playing]
My sweet tooth has turned
into a rotten tooth.
[rhythmic beating]
[shatters]
[gloomy cowboy music playing]
[screeches]
This was the only dentist
open on a Saturday.
Hello? Anybody there?
Good day, sir,
what seems to be the problem?
My t-t-t...
Say no more, honey baby,
I just need you to sign this.
Autograph this.
Oh, and fill these out too.
Mother's maiden name... Ow!
Mother's phone number... Ouch!
Mother's plans tonight...
These questions
are very thorough.
Ouch!
I finished
all the paperwork, ma'am.
Great, let me just
process this.
[cheering]
Excuse me, nurse!
Can you tell me
what's taking so long?
Ah, ya win some,
ya lose some.
[growling]
Next patient!
[cordially]
Get on in here, pal!
Y'know, I feel all better now.
Thanks!
Oh, no, ya don't!
What seems to be
the problem, chum?
I have a sore t-t-t...
Toenail? Tendon?
Triple chin? Ticonderoga?
Come on, out with it!
[pulsing]
X-ray! Woo-hoo!
Hmm...
[screams]
A skeleton!
Stay back, you demon!
Take that!
Ya gotta be more careful, bud.
That ghoul almost got ya!
Let's just do this
the old-fashioned way, huh?
Open wide.
Wider.
Wider still.
Wider!
[Porky groans]
That's better.
Now, let's see...
[playing tropical music]
[buzzes]
Ow!
[Daffy] A-ha!
That's the bad tooth!
[bell dings]
Looks like
it's tooth-hurty o' clock, bub!
I'm gonna give you a crown,
but I'm the king here! See?
Brace yourself!
One novocain special,
and make it a double.
Drill sergeant Daffy here
to whip your rotten mouth
into shape!
[whirring]
[heart beating]
[tooth throbbing]
Now, let's see those chompers,
Private!
[hesitating] Yes, sir.
Ah.
I want that tooth so hole-y
it looks like Swiss cheese!
[coughing] Hey, that
looks like a fire hazard!
Oh, I didn't know it
was Saturday!
[singing]
Oh, yeah! Gotta have
good hygiene for this job.
Complimentary tooth brush?
Hey, knock off all the jokes!
Would you please
just take this tooth out!
It's killing me...
It really hurts.
Of course,
why didn't you just ask, chum?
[chuckling insanely]
No, no, nah, not today.
A-ha! Rope!
Now, you may feel
a slight pressure.
[patriotic music playing]
[plane diving]
My tooth is still there!
Lemme just try one more thing!
No way! You're a fraud!
Stay back!
Hey, my tooth came out!
Huh, I feel great!
That'll be $5 billion, please.
Cash or credit?
[mumbles]
I'll also accept
a cashier's check, money order,
or crypto currency.