Looney Tunes Cartoons (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 19 - Postalgeist/Anvil/Fudds Bunny - full transcript

[theme music playing]

[thunderclap]

[stuttering] Daffy,
can't this delivery wait
until tomorrow...

[chuckling nervously]
when the weather clears up?

And risk getting a bad review
on the World Wide Web?

No way, Jose!

We're taking that package
to the Terror Inn,

Thirteenth floor,
room 237, tonight,

or we can kiss
our five-star rating goodbye.

Daffy, is this a good idea
to be out here in the rain?

This package is getting soaked.



Remember our creed.

Neither rain nor hail
nor sleet or crud,

we will deliver this package
or our name is mud!

Speaking of mud,
we better get inside.

[thunderclap]

[teeth chattering]

[chuckles nervously]
Nobody's home.

Guess we have to leave.

Nonsense!

They just can't hear us
over the storm.

This oughta do the trick.

[horn blaring]

[gasps] Who dares disturb
my eternal slumber?

[grumbling] Lousy, no good,
son of a gun.



Can't a guy get some peace
and quiet around here?

Oh, a couple of wise guys, huh?

I'll take care of
these intruders.
Ghost-style.

Huh. Guess they left
the door unlocked.

Hello there!
Package delivery.

Anybody here? Anyone?

Gee, there's not a single soul
in this dump.

[bell dinging]

What lousy service.

Hold on,
I'll get someone on the phone.

Hmm. Where the heck is it?

[chuckles] This'll get 'em!

[Daffy] Don't tell me
this joint has no phone.

Guess there's no phone.

Leave that mail for the clerk.

We've got our own package
to worry about!

[growling angrily]

Gee, this elevator
sure is taking a long time.

Come on! Come on!

Aha! The dial is stuck.

I know how to fix this.

[spooky music plays]

This sticky dial just needs
a little elbow grease.

[grunts]

[straining]

Fixed it!

[elevator dings]

Daffy, I--

Desperately want to deliver
this package?

I know. So do I.

Hey, look! A penny!
Looks brand new, too.

Yes sir! Find a penny,
pick it up,

and then all day
you'll have good luck.

It's like my mother
always said,

"A penny saved
is a penny earned."

Or was that my Uncle Screege
who said that?

Playing around in the dirt
on the job, huh?

Stop messin' around
and act like a professional.

[elevator dings]

[yelling] Daffy! Look!

Gee whiz!

Don't people take care
of themselves anymore?

You fellas oughta try
eatin' some vitamins!

[gulps]

Daffy! This hotel is haunted!

I'm getting out of here.

Oh no, you don't, buster!

Are you gonna let
some floating candles
get in our way?

Neither rain nor sleet
nor floating candle,

there's no delivery
we can't handle.

And besides,
there's no such thing
as ghosts.

[both scream] Ghost!

Hey Porkman! We made it!

[door creaking]

[roaring]

[both whimpering]

[stammering] Delivery
for Mr. Macabre!

Oh, yeah! [chuckles]

I totally forgot
I went online shopping
last week.

Thanks a million, boys.

Sorry I gave you
such a hard time.

How 'bout a tip
for your troubles?

Well, you know
what they say, boys.

"Easy come, easy ghost."

[laughing maniacally]

[theme music playing]

[stomach gurgling]

Huh?

[slurps]

[groans] Ugh.
I just can't get comfy.

What's making this nest
so lumpy?

-Aha!
-[groans]

[yawns] That's much better.

[thuds]

[theme music playing]

[grunts]

[groans]

-[buzzing]
-[screams]

[sighs]

[groans]

[screams]

[sighs]

[grunts]

[screams]

[grunts]

-[horn tooting]
-Whoops, it's break time.

Sorry, Mac. Union rules.
Solidarity and all.

[grunts]

This breakroom's
for rabbits only.

Wabbits only, huh?

Hmm.

Oh, Mr. Wabbit!

I'm just another
fellow wabbit here

to see you
with my goofy buck teeth,

my big stupid feet,

and my totally authentic
cottontail.

Hippity hoppity. [laughs]

[Bugs vocalizing]

[Elmer] I'm a wabbit like you.

There's no hunters here.
Just us.

[chuckles]

[exclaims] A bunny!

Oh, my gosh! [chuckles]

Oh, my gosh,
you're so, so cute!

With your goofy buck teeth,

-your big stupid feet,
-[screams] Ow...

and your totally authentic
cottontail.

[Bugs laughing]

Hey, what's the big--

Hold my lolly.
Oop. Silly me! [chuckles]

Bunnies don't eat lollies.

They eat grass.

Eat up! Eat up, boy.

Taking care of pets
is hard work. Phew.

[spits] I'm not a--

I'm gonna adopt you
and call you Charlemagne

after the eighth century
conqueror,

because you conquered my heart.

This calls for a tea party.

Come on, bunny.

It's only 17 miles
down the road.

[vocalizing]

[singing] ♪ I've got a bunny,
My bunny, my bunny ♪

Here we are. Tea time.

[groans]

Your fairy wings, my lady.

And some delightful biscuits.

I found them under a bear.

[gulps]

[coughs]

Well, that was rude.

But I'll give you tea anyway.

A nice steaming cup of...

Whoops!

[screams]

I'm not a wabbit!

I'm a man!

I've been a man
this whole time.

[gasps] Charlemagne,
you're an imposter!

And you're a nightmare!

[crying] Daddy! Daddy!

Oh, no, shh, shh!
Please don't cry.

Look! Look.
I'll drink the tea, see?

[slurping] Hmm.

Hey! Something the matter here?

Who are you?

I'm the daddy.

And you're some little man
in a bunny suit.

Daddy, Daddy,
he tricked me, he tricked me!

Is that true?
You tricked my daughter?

Well I, uh...

He insulted my cooking!

What's wrong with her cooking?

Well I...

He wouldn't eat
my bear biscuits.

Why your bear biscuits
are delicious.

He spit 'em out!

How do you know
you don't like 'em

if you didn't even have
the decency to swallow 'em?

Well, I'm gonna show you
what we do to weird bunny men

with undistinguished pallets.

Hit him to da sky, Pa.
Hit him to the sky!

Oh, please. No. No!

[horn hooting]

What? 5:00 already?

Well, it's quittin' time.

Sorry, buddy, union rules.
eight hours means eight hours

Phew. Thank goodness.

Well, it's your lucky day, bub.
They gave me overtime.

[Elmer screams]

Now that's what I call
a tea party.

[chuckles] That's my pop!

[theme music playing]