Looney Tunes Cartoons (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 18 - Pitcher Porky/Cherry Picker/Duck Duck Boom! - full transcript
Benchwarmer Porky Pig finally gets his chance to shine on the pitching mound. With the game on the line, he needs all the help he can get - even if it's from Daffy Duck. Elmer Fudd sets his sights on Daffy Duck, but who's hunting whom?
[theme music playing]
[announcer] Well, folks,
this is one heck of
a game today.
It's the top of the 8th inning,
and the Gas-House Gorillas
are crushing
the Sweet Valley Cutie Pies.
[screams]
[announcer]
Pitching for the Cutie Pies
is Sterling
"Wet Knickers" Osbourne
against the Gorilla's
Butch "Killer" O'Reilly.
[knees knocking and gulps]
Here's the wind-up.
And the pitch.
Ooh! Looks like Osbourne
is out of the game.
Things don't look good
for the Cutie Pies.
Unless they have
a miracle up their sleeve,
there's no way
the team can make a comeback.
[grunting]
Wow! A new record!
Ugh! Hey, Porky!
Get out onto the field.
Me? Pitching? Really?
Oh, boy!
Wait till I tell Daffy.
Tell me what, chum?
Coach is puttin' me
in the game.
I'm finally gonna be a pitcher.
Really? That's great, pal.
Just great.
I knew after all these years
you'd make it
in the big leagues.
[cracking]
[screams] My arm! It's broken!
I can't pitch with
a busted throwing arm!
Hmm...
Wait a minute.
It's coming to me.
Lemme think.
Lemme think. Almost.
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
Ooh! I've got an idea.
[announcer]
Next and last pitcher
for the Cutie Pies
is Porky Pig!
[laughing boisterously]
[Maddog] That pipsqueak
ain't even fit
for a pork chop!
[gulps]
[laughing continues]
[whispering] Daffy,
I don't think
this is a good idea.
Don't worry
about a thing, Porky.
It's all under control.
[humming]
Ah! Smooth as silk!
[softly]
Now comes the fun part.
Huh? What the--
Don't worry, chum.
It's all part of the plan.
Time to break out
the ol' stinkball.
[buzzing]
Peww!
[sternly] Hmm. You're out!
[announcer] Wowie!
I've never seen
a pitch like that before.
Hey! Daffy.
This might actually work.
[Daffy] Stick with me, kid.
We're goin' places.
[announcer]
Next up to the plate,
"Maddog" McNulty!
Boy, he looks pretty tough.
You got this, Daffy?
Just leave him to me.
I'll give him the ol' mad ball.
[growling]
Hey, chump!
I've seen monkeys
swing better than you.
Where'd you learn
to play baseball?
The morgue?
Oh, real nice, slugger.
Why don't you go back
to making candles, ya softie.
My grandmother
swings better than you,
and she's got no arms!
[wailing]
I don't wanna play anymore.
That mean baseball
hurt my feelings.
[bawling] Don't look at me!
[announcer] Looks like Maddog
has been verbally spayed
and neutered.
Here's the windup.
And the pitch!
Huh?
You might have heard of
knuckle balls
but mine's made of brass.
Whoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!
[announcer] Looks like
the Cutie Pies might have
a chance after all.
-[stomping]
-[announcer] Oh, boy!
The gorillas are sending out
their star player,
"Lil' Joe" Johnson!
Hmm...
[scoffs] Piece of cake!
Aha! It's glue.
This oughta make things
a bit sticky for him.
Huh?
[screams]
[grunts]
[groggily] Foul ball!
Foul-foul ball! Foul...
[weakly] ...ball.
Oh, no! Daffy?
[laughs maliciously]
Oh, gosh! What am I gonna do?
I can't pitch
with my busted arm.
Oh, if only Daffy were here,
he'd know what to do.
Wait! That's it!
If I wanna pitch like Daffy,
I gotta think like Daffy.
Come on. Think. Think!
Whoo-hoo!
[laughing crazily]
Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
[grunts]
[umpire] Strike two!
[growling angrily]
[laughing] Well,
here goes nothin'.
[grunting]
Strike three. You're out!
-[screams]
-[gasps]
Huh?
[announcer] The Cutie Pies win!
Whoo-hoo!
Ya did it, buddy.
We won the game.
[both] Hi-five.
[theme music playing]
[stomach gurgling]
Huh?
[slurps]
[chuckling evilly]
Huh?
Dats why you're always supposed
to wear a hard hat, puddy!
[theme music playing]
Oh, boy!
Us hunters
don't use rifles anymore.
They're too barbaric.
[ticking]
Now we use more humane methods.
[ticking continues]
[maliciously] Did anybody order
some smoked duck?
[laughs evilly]
Say, what are you up to, Mac?
Oh, I'm, uh, just feeding
the ducks.
Wow! A whole loaf?
You must be the kinda guy
who gives whole candy bars
at Halloween.
I'll let you eat in peace.
Yum! Yummy!
[gulps]
That's good!
Any second now,
dat duck is gonna go--
Boom!
Is what my taste buds
were saying
when I ate that loaf.
Yes, sir! It was the best bread
I've ever tasted.
The flavor really blew me away.
Oh, dear, look at the time.
I must be going.
Hey, brother! Where'd you go?
Your bread was da bomb.
[laughs cunningly]
Dat duck's
gonna blow up any second.
Seconds. Thirds. Fourths.
I could eat that bread
till I explode.
How can I ever repay you
for your kindness?
Oh, no!
[chopping]
Maybe I can do
something nice for you.
Got any chores
I can help you with?
Modest fellow, ain't he?
I just gotta get this duck
away from me
before he blows up!
[panting]
I'm gonna make you something
to return the favor.
My salmon succotash stromboli
is dynamite!
[screams]
Fine! I'll make
a vegetarian option, too.
[sighs in relief]
[panting]
Oh, dat feels nice...
Well, you sure are tense.
A massage is the least
I can do.
[screams]
[ticking continues]
Oh, don't mind me. [chuckles]
[screams]
[grunting]
Your humility and generosity
only make me feel
more in debt to you.
Please,
I'll do anything for you.
Anything! Anything!
Wait, did you say
you'd do anything?
Anything.
Well, there is something
you can do for me.
Uh, go to the Amazon wiver
and get me a piranha sandwich.
Coming right up.
Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!
Now's my chance.
One piranha sandwich.
Pretty snappy service
if I do say so myself.
[sputtering]
I can't enjoy that sandwich
[hesitantly] because...
I don't have a cold bottle
of walrus juice
to wash it down.
Only found in Antarctica!
Funny enough,
my uncle owns that place.
[chuckles nervously]
Oh, did I say "walrus juice"?
Excuse me, I meant
a tall glass of Moon juice.
From the Moon!
[doorbell chiming]
-Out of the way, champ.
-[glass breaking]
Package for one D. Duck.
Thanks!
Ah, my mini-moon!
Here ya go, buddy. Buddy?
[both screaming]
[whirring]
Phew!
I thought maybe
that scwewy duck would be here.
Wooks like I finally got away.
Get-away? Great idea.
We could really
get to know each other
on a little get-away.
Just you and me. Just us.
Nowhere to run.
Nowhere to hide. Nowhere to--
Dat's it! Just 'cause
I did one nice thing
doesn't mean
you can follow me everywhere.
No, I didn't mean to--
I just want you
to leave me alone!
[crying] But, but I was
just trying to thank you.
Leave! Leave me alone! Get out!
Yeah, fine. Geez.
I guess no good deed
goes unpunished
[door slams]
Phew.
Oh, and by the way,
you can keep your stupid bread.
[door slams]
Get a loaf of this guy,
he's toast!
Whoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!
[theme music playing]
[announcer] Well, folks,
this is one heck of
a game today.
It's the top of the 8th inning,
and the Gas-House Gorillas
are crushing
the Sweet Valley Cutie Pies.
[screams]
[announcer]
Pitching for the Cutie Pies
is Sterling
"Wet Knickers" Osbourne
against the Gorilla's
Butch "Killer" O'Reilly.
[knees knocking and gulps]
Here's the wind-up.
And the pitch.
Ooh! Looks like Osbourne
is out of the game.
Things don't look good
for the Cutie Pies.
Unless they have
a miracle up their sleeve,
there's no way
the team can make a comeback.
[grunting]
Wow! A new record!
Ugh! Hey, Porky!
Get out onto the field.
Me? Pitching? Really?
Oh, boy!
Wait till I tell Daffy.
Tell me what, chum?
Coach is puttin' me
in the game.
I'm finally gonna be a pitcher.
Really? That's great, pal.
Just great.
I knew after all these years
you'd make it
in the big leagues.
[cracking]
[screams] My arm! It's broken!
I can't pitch with
a busted throwing arm!
Hmm...
Wait a minute.
It's coming to me.
Lemme think.
Lemme think. Almost.
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
Ooh! I've got an idea.
[announcer]
Next and last pitcher
for the Cutie Pies
is Porky Pig!
[laughing boisterously]
[Maddog] That pipsqueak
ain't even fit
for a pork chop!
[gulps]
[laughing continues]
[whispering] Daffy,
I don't think
this is a good idea.
Don't worry
about a thing, Porky.
It's all under control.
[humming]
Ah! Smooth as silk!
[softly]
Now comes the fun part.
Huh? What the--
Don't worry, chum.
It's all part of the plan.
Time to break out
the ol' stinkball.
[buzzing]
Peww!
[sternly] Hmm. You're out!
[announcer] Wowie!
I've never seen
a pitch like that before.
Hey! Daffy.
This might actually work.
[Daffy] Stick with me, kid.
We're goin' places.
[announcer]
Next up to the plate,
"Maddog" McNulty!
Boy, he looks pretty tough.
You got this, Daffy?
Just leave him to me.
I'll give him the ol' mad ball.
[growling]
Hey, chump!
I've seen monkeys
swing better than you.
Where'd you learn
to play baseball?
The morgue?
Oh, real nice, slugger.
Why don't you go back
to making candles, ya softie.
My grandmother
swings better than you,
and she's got no arms!
[wailing]
I don't wanna play anymore.
That mean baseball
hurt my feelings.
[bawling] Don't look at me!
[announcer] Looks like Maddog
has been verbally spayed
and neutered.
Here's the windup.
And the pitch!
Huh?
You might have heard of
knuckle balls
but mine's made of brass.
Whoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!
[announcer] Looks like
the Cutie Pies might have
a chance after all.
-[stomping]
-[announcer] Oh, boy!
The gorillas are sending out
their star player,
"Lil' Joe" Johnson!
Hmm...
[scoffs] Piece of cake!
Aha! It's glue.
This oughta make things
a bit sticky for him.
Huh?
[screams]
[grunts]
[groggily] Foul ball!
Foul-foul ball! Foul...
[weakly] ...ball.
Oh, no! Daffy?
[laughs maliciously]
Oh, gosh! What am I gonna do?
I can't pitch
with my busted arm.
Oh, if only Daffy were here,
he'd know what to do.
Wait! That's it!
If I wanna pitch like Daffy,
I gotta think like Daffy.
Come on. Think. Think!
Whoo-hoo!
[laughing crazily]
Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
[grunts]
[umpire] Strike two!
[growling angrily]
[laughing] Well,
here goes nothin'.
[grunting]
Strike three. You're out!
-[screams]
-[gasps]
Huh?
[announcer] The Cutie Pies win!
Whoo-hoo!
Ya did it, buddy.
We won the game.
[both] Hi-five.
[theme music playing]
[stomach gurgling]
Huh?
[slurps]
[chuckling evilly]
Huh?
Dats why you're always supposed
to wear a hard hat, puddy!
[theme music playing]
Oh, boy!
Us hunters
don't use rifles anymore.
They're too barbaric.
[ticking]
Now we use more humane methods.
[ticking continues]
[maliciously] Did anybody order
some smoked duck?
[laughs evilly]
Say, what are you up to, Mac?
Oh, I'm, uh, just feeding
the ducks.
Wow! A whole loaf?
You must be the kinda guy
who gives whole candy bars
at Halloween.
I'll let you eat in peace.
Yum! Yummy!
[gulps]
That's good!
Any second now,
dat duck is gonna go--
Boom!
Is what my taste buds
were saying
when I ate that loaf.
Yes, sir! It was the best bread
I've ever tasted.
The flavor really blew me away.
Oh, dear, look at the time.
I must be going.
Hey, brother! Where'd you go?
Your bread was da bomb.
[laughs cunningly]
Dat duck's
gonna blow up any second.
Seconds. Thirds. Fourths.
I could eat that bread
till I explode.
How can I ever repay you
for your kindness?
Oh, no!
[chopping]
Maybe I can do
something nice for you.
Got any chores
I can help you with?
Modest fellow, ain't he?
I just gotta get this duck
away from me
before he blows up!
[panting]
I'm gonna make you something
to return the favor.
My salmon succotash stromboli
is dynamite!
[screams]
Fine! I'll make
a vegetarian option, too.
[sighs in relief]
[panting]
Oh, dat feels nice...
Well, you sure are tense.
A massage is the least
I can do.
[screams]
[ticking continues]
Oh, don't mind me. [chuckles]
[screams]
[grunting]
Your humility and generosity
only make me feel
more in debt to you.
Please,
I'll do anything for you.
Anything! Anything!
Wait, did you say
you'd do anything?
Anything.
Well, there is something
you can do for me.
Uh, go to the Amazon wiver
and get me a piranha sandwich.
Coming right up.
Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!
Now's my chance.
One piranha sandwich.
Pretty snappy service
if I do say so myself.
[sputtering]
I can't enjoy that sandwich
[hesitantly] because...
I don't have a cold bottle
of walrus juice
to wash it down.
Only found in Antarctica!
Funny enough,
my uncle owns that place.
[chuckles nervously]
Oh, did I say "walrus juice"?
Excuse me, I meant
a tall glass of Moon juice.
From the Moon!
[doorbell chiming]
-Out of the way, champ.
-[glass breaking]
Package for one D. Duck.
Thanks!
Ah, my mini-moon!
Here ya go, buddy. Buddy?
[both screaming]
[whirring]
Phew!
I thought maybe
that scwewy duck would be here.
Wooks like I finally got away.
Get-away? Great idea.
We could really
get to know each other
on a little get-away.
Just you and me. Just us.
Nowhere to run.
Nowhere to hide. Nowhere to--
Dat's it! Just 'cause
I did one nice thing
doesn't mean
you can follow me everywhere.
No, I didn't mean to--
I just want you
to leave me alone!
[crying] But, but I was
just trying to thank you.
Leave! Leave me alone! Get out!
Yeah, fine. Geez.
I guess no good deed
goes unpunished
[door slams]
Phew.
Oh, and by the way,
you can keep your stupid bread.
[door slams]
Get a loaf of this guy,
he's toast!
Whoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!
[theme music playing]