Living Single (1993–1998): Season 3, Episode 1 - Come Back Little Diva - full transcript
Woo, ooh, I hate
coming to the laundromat.
Exactly which part
do you hate, Ivana?
The fact that, uh, Ms.
Synclaire here does your laundry
or that she gives you a
choice to dryer sheets?
Okay, Max, what do you want?
Ocean breeze or citrus grove?
I want a full sheet
of ocean breeze
half a sheet of citrus grove
and a couple of corners
of mountain meadow.
Alright now don't push it,
missy, I'm only helping you out
because I love this
laundromat now.
I mean, this place a magical
microcosm where people
of all walks of life
gather together to clean
that which is closest to them.
Here, here.
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ And in a nineties
kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up what ♪
♪ Keep your head
up that's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪
♪ With my home‐girls
standing to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ What you want ♪
♪ No free position ♪
♪ Haa ♪
Hey, Max, how do you
want me to fold this?
Ho, ooh, ooh, ho. Hoo!
What is this?
Lumberjack.
It's Kyle's. Give it back.
Kyle wears these?
Yes, ever since I
bought them for him.
You mean to tell me, uh,
you've only been seeing Kyle
three weeks and already
you're given him drawers?
Well, I need a little Tabasco
with my jalapeño if
you know what I mean.
Which way is the front?
That depends on
how freaky I'm feeling.
That's it, we have
the moral obligation
to keep these from you.
‐ Fine. ‐ Go on, Synclaire.
Give it here, here.
Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!
For the love..
I'm here, I'm here,
give me here, go, go.
Uh‐huh.
They're dry now.
Max, what are your friends
doing playing with my drawers?
Is that your way of
saying thank you for taking
the funk out of my clothes.
'A' I do not funk, and
'B' doing a man's laundry
is just another way
women try to usurp control.
Please, if I wanted to control
you, I'd simply withhold sex.
Oh, you kids, kids,
uh, you know this is
supposed to be a
magical microcosm.
You think y'all
could just chill?
Yeah, come on, shorty, let's go.
Naked man is starting
to fold up his paper.
We'll talk about this later.
Fine, I won't be listening.
Oh, man, your girl is in a mood.
Yeah, well, your girl's in a
sun dress with biking shorts.
Jealousy, thy name is Kyle.
Oh, looky who.
‐ Regine again. ‐ Yes.
Ever since she moved out
the girl has popped
up all over the place.
You know, Khadijah, I think
she's been hanging around
hoping you'll start
talking to her again.
With the way she
moved out on us?
Only way I'm speaking to her
as if she's on a ledge
and I'm yelling jump.
‐ Oh, hi, Regine. ‐ Hey, ladies.
Khadijah.
So, what brings you
clear across town?
Oh, I love this laundromat.
And it's a snap to
get here by subway.
Hop on the D‐train, change at
Atlantic Avenue, grab the three
to Grand Army Plaza, fifteen
minute walking you are here.
Well, so, isn't your
apartment all fixed up nice?
Ah, girl, it's fabulous.
I've turned it into a
little French hideaway.
Apparently so hidden your
ass can't seem to find it.
What do you want?
'Regine, it's mommy.'
I'm sorry I'm late, but I
had to hurdle three rhinos.
Happy house warming.
I haven't seen one of
these since grannies funeral.
Well, what do you think?
My very own Pied‐à‐terre.
Well, I don't know what the
heck that is, but this is a dump.
What are you talking about?
This place is packed with amenities.
Breakfast nooklet,
soft wood floors
and a veranda de soleil.
Regine, that's a fire escape.
You know, for once,
could you maybe
give me some encouragement?
Okay, okay. I encourage
you to pick up that phone
disinfect it, call Khadijah
and beg her to take you back.
If you won't I will.
God knows I've done it before.
I'm not moving back
in with Khadijah.
Fine, then think of it as
moving back in with Synclaire.
Mom, there is nothing
wrong with place
that a mountain
of gifts won't fix.
Hence my house
warming party next week.
Wait, you know, I would love
to stay and help you fill out
the place cards but those kids
are eyeing my eight‐track. Hey!
Here, take the dog.
You know I'm proud of you, baby.
I've never seen anybody
stand by such a bad decision.
Out of the way boozers,
I'm coming down.
Okay, I'm breaking off.
Synclaire, come back here, girl.
‐ Okay, okay. ‐ Hell,
I was leaning on you.
Well, I'm very
proud of you, Max.
You looked pretty good out
there for a roller blading virgin.
Yes, well, as we both
know I move pretty well.
‐ Alright. ‐ Come on.
Well, come on, have a seat.
I'll help you off with the skates.
Why, I'm not taking 'em off.
Oh, come on, Max, you
know you're tired. Sit down.
I know when I'm tired.
Don't tell me when I'm tired.
I'd know, no control freak.
Huh, you know
what your problem is?
You don't know how
to let a man be a man.
You really think somebody
trying to attack your manhood?
Yeah, but what else
I'm supposed to think
when you're always saying
"Be a man about it, Kyle.
Be a man about it?"
Well, it's good to
know you're listening.
Now... help me take
these skates off, I'm tired.
Dang, y'all worked
through this much faster
than you did at that
laundromat thing.
As I like to call it "The
rumble where it tumbles."
Well, if it isn't
Starlight Express.
Obie, look, we
got an invitation.
You are cordially
invited to attend
the house warming extravaganza
of Ms. Regine Hunter.
Oh, here's one addressed to
the love birds, Maxine and Kyle.
Anything for me?
Well, just this Sweepstakes
offer designed to look like
a check from the IRS.
Who would've thought?
Regine does not miss a beat.
She invited everybody but me.
Well, maybe it's just
a party for couples.
You know people who
have somebody in their lives.
Don't feel bad, Khadijah.
Khadijah, you can
come as our guest.
No, says here, "You're
hostess respectfully requests"
no camera's, no
children, no guest."
Translation, no Kodaks,
no kids, no Khadijah.
Well, if you don't go,
Maxine and Kyle won't go.
Yo, ho, ho, ho, whoa..
You cannot just dictate.
Side bar.
Look, if I don't want to go,
you shouldn't want to go.
But I want to go.
And I am going.
Bye‐bye.
Oh, Kyle, be a man about it.
He just hates that.
Well, Khadijah, are
you gonna be okay?
Please, I'm fine. It's not
like I'm desperate for things
to do on a Saturday night.
Really, that's the
first time in a month.
You know, Synclaire,
sometimes I really love
your wide‐eyed innocence.
Yet sometimes you
just wish I shut up.
‐ That's right. ‐ Yeah.
‐ Welcome. ‐ Hi, Regine.
Bienvenue.
Did you have any
trouble finding the place?
Not at all, we just followed
the camera crew from "Cops."
Well, it, it must be
convenient having
everything all in one room.
Yeah, sort of like
you own little Alcatraz.
Hey, wait a minute,
you brought no Max.
She and her bad
attitude are at home.
Along with an
uninvited, Khadijah.
Did I forget to
put her on my list?
Was she mad?
Oh, no. No, no, no.
Oh, she had big plans.
Didn't know what they were but..
Synclaire.
So, Regine, come on, how
do you really like it down here?
Kyle, I love it. I can't get
enough of the East Village.
And the people
around here, I feel like
I have known them for years.
Party can begin
everyone, I'm here.
That's Carl, he lives upstairs.
Carl, honey, these
are my friends.
This is, Synclaire,
Overton and Kyle.
Charmed.
Regine and I met
at the trash chute.
She wanted me
but I decided that we
should just be friends.
Thanks so much for inviting
me after that devastating blow.
Doesn't that level of arrogance
just turn your stomach?
Say, who's that cat?
'That's the building
superintendent, Orville.'
Hey, Orvy, this is a party,
my friend, have some punch.
Alcohol, while I'm
using sandpaper?
Why don't I just sit
in a tub of kerosene
and shove a lighter
down my pants?
Bit graphic, but the
man's got a point.
We brought you a gift.
Oh.
It's a sandwich press, ow.
We let Overton pick it out.
Did you keep the receipt?
You know, not that I
was dying to go her party
or I care what her little
apartment looks like.
What is Regine trying to
prove by not inviting me?
More butter.
She moved out and
still a pain in the ass.
Now you are going to enjoy, yes.
Umm‐ummm, I can't
believe Kyle defied me
and went to that party.
That is the last pair of thong
underwear I buy that man.
You know you think
you know someone
and then they change on you.
I have known
Regine for 25 years.
Come to think of it, she's been
pretty stuck up the whole time.
But you know what?
If she wasn't so petty
I would have chipped in
on that sandwich press.
If we go there and just get
a little glimpse of the place
we can come back
here and rag on it.
No, I wouldn't have gone
even if she had invited me.
That's right.
But now that she
hasn't invited you
you have to go.
Um..
Let's do this.
We cannot go over there
without a house warming gift.
Come on, Max. Not
even I'm that mad at her.
Go ahead and get
that dish rack too.
Alright.
Hey, Max.
Um... so much for
neighborhood watch.
Here you go.
Now, if you'll excuse me
there's a man over
there I need to ignore.
Excuse me, are you
going to eat all that?
Uh‐huh.
My girl, carry on.
I didn't expect you to show up.
Why? Because
you didn't invite me?
I thought you'd think I
would expect you to crash
and so wouldn't
come just to be rude
there by giving me what I want.
I thought you'd
think that so I came.
Hey, Khadijah, I'm
so glad you crashed.
There's this woman
Lakeisha you gotta meet.
Now you keep saying
we need someone
to pay the other
part of that rent.
She's looking for a
place to live, come on.
Ah, excuse me, this is not
a roommate hunting party.
That's okay. I'm not
a guest. Come on.
I'm not speaking to you.
And, I can't believe
you came to this party
after I told you not to.
You know, if you are
not speaking to me
then why do I feel like
I'm in a wind tunnel?
And you know the only
reason you came here tonight
was to be with me.
Kyle, you are the most arrogant,
pig‐headed, self‐centered man
I have ever met.
I'm sorry, but taking
you home with me
is simply out of the question.
Damn! They didn't
break the mold.
Look, Max, if this
is going to work
we cannot make
everything a power struggle.
Well, if you just
put me in charge‐‐.
That's what I'm talking about.
Listen, if I come
on a little strong
it's just my way of
getting your attention.
Well, if I walk away, that's
my way of getting yours.
Alright you got it.
What are goin' to do with it?
Well, first, I'mma
give you this.
Jumbo shrimp?
I've been saving them for
you and that wasn't easy.
You know there's a woman
here with a voracious appetite.
Kyle, this is the sweetest thing
that you have ever done for me.
No it's not, this is.
Cocktail sauce.
Let's go home.
Your place or mine?
‐ Both. ‐ Arr..
You know what I'm
saying? Hey, running my own
pet grooming
business is not easy.
Especially since
I hired my cousin
as an assistant.
Man, she lets the
dogs out the back door
and says "Run like the wind."
Oh, I'd love to fire her,
but you know she fam.
You and Khadijah have
so much in common.
If it's the truth, I say
we make this happen.
You want the room, it's yours.
Who wants some punch?
Isn't life amazing?
We came to celebrate
with our old roommate
end up with a whole new one.
Well, sooky‐sooky now.
Well, the Browns
Stone's a lovely little place.
‐ You'll enjoy it. ‐
It sounds perfect.
Well, perfect if
you hate privacy.
I mean, you're never alone.
Somebody is always up
crying over their love life
or burning up the kitchen
or taping Richard Bay
over your Thorn Birds.
Oh, and you can always
count on Khadijah here
to stretch out your
wigs just playing around
and to give you advice
that you didn't ask for
which turns out to
be right, of course.
And then you realize that
she only butted in because
she knows you better
than anybody else.
You know this because
you've, you've had time to think.
'Cause you're all alone now.
So best of luck.
Regine.
You know what? I
think I'm gonna pass.
Hey, I spent my days chasing
Beagles and Schnauzers.
I don't need this drama.
Regine, get out of my arm pit.
Sorry, I'm, I'm crying
all over your shirt.
Oh, but it's not
silk, it's okay.
Same old, Regine.
Yeah, well, thank God
you haven't changed.
You're always there
for me, Khadijah.
Just like Bob R.
What?
Oh, remember when we were kids
and I read the story of
Bob R., the elephant king
and his queen, Celeste?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You figured, if elephants
could be royalty, so could you.
So you renamed yourself,
Regine, the queen of
what a stupid
macaroni from school.
Yup, and you were there when
everybody else made fun of me
and they called
me spaghetti‐head.
I was making fun of you too.
No, but you understood me.
No, I didn't.
Then you pretended really well.
Okay.
Khadijah, you're
my oldest friend.
You're my best friend.
Let's keep it real,
I'm your only friend.
Oh, this is truly wonderful
two friends together again.
Sharing the love.
Who are you?
Lakeisha's cousin, Pauly.
Hush, hush, hush, hush.
Hush, hush, hush, hush.
Alright now, step back.
If there's anybody
who's gonna provide any
comfort right now, it's
gonna be me, alright?
Woo, woo, woo. Woo, woo, woo.
So, what do we do now?
I don't know.
Well, we could go home.
What you think, Synclaire?
Day after day I prayed for this.
Wishing and hoping,
praying all the prayers‐‐.
Synclaire, Synclaire.
I can live with it. You know..
Regine, there you are.
Look, I've changed
my mind, darling.
I'll see you upstairs... in ten.
Don't go away,
we'll be right back.
It's really a magical
place, isn't it?
The gurgling of the washers,
the gentle purring of all those
dryers lined up
like little soldiers.
Sometimes staring into a
dryer just takes me away.
Watching the clothing tumble
round and round and round.
For fun I like to
watch one little thing.
Like a red sock.
Sometimes it mingles
with the other clothing.
Other times it just
goes off by itself.
Who knows where it goes?
Oh, oh, fabric softener
time. Excuse me.
This place is a magnet
for psychopaths.
Woo‐hoo!
coming to the laundromat.
Exactly which part
do you hate, Ivana?
The fact that, uh, Ms.
Synclaire here does your laundry
or that she gives you a
choice to dryer sheets?
Okay, Max, what do you want?
Ocean breeze or citrus grove?
I want a full sheet
of ocean breeze
half a sheet of citrus grove
and a couple of corners
of mountain meadow.
Alright now don't push it,
missy, I'm only helping you out
because I love this
laundromat now.
I mean, this place a magical
microcosm where people
of all walks of life
gather together to clean
that which is closest to them.
Here, here.
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ And in a nineties
kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up what ♪
♪ Keep your head
up that's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪
♪ With my home‐girls
standing to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ What you want ♪
♪ No free position ♪
♪ Haa ♪
Hey, Max, how do you
want me to fold this?
Ho, ooh, ooh, ho. Hoo!
What is this?
Lumberjack.
It's Kyle's. Give it back.
Kyle wears these?
Yes, ever since I
bought them for him.
You mean to tell me, uh,
you've only been seeing Kyle
three weeks and already
you're given him drawers?
Well, I need a little Tabasco
with my jalapeño if
you know what I mean.
Which way is the front?
That depends on
how freaky I'm feeling.
That's it, we have
the moral obligation
to keep these from you.
‐ Fine. ‐ Go on, Synclaire.
Give it here, here.
Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!
For the love..
I'm here, I'm here,
give me here, go, go.
Uh‐huh.
They're dry now.
Max, what are your friends
doing playing with my drawers?
Is that your way of
saying thank you for taking
the funk out of my clothes.
'A' I do not funk, and
'B' doing a man's laundry
is just another way
women try to usurp control.
Please, if I wanted to control
you, I'd simply withhold sex.
Oh, you kids, kids,
uh, you know this is
supposed to be a
magical microcosm.
You think y'all
could just chill?
Yeah, come on, shorty, let's go.
Naked man is starting
to fold up his paper.
We'll talk about this later.
Fine, I won't be listening.
Oh, man, your girl is in a mood.
Yeah, well, your girl's in a
sun dress with biking shorts.
Jealousy, thy name is Kyle.
Oh, looky who.
‐ Regine again. ‐ Yes.
Ever since she moved out
the girl has popped
up all over the place.
You know, Khadijah, I think
she's been hanging around
hoping you'll start
talking to her again.
With the way she
moved out on us?
Only way I'm speaking to her
as if she's on a ledge
and I'm yelling jump.
‐ Oh, hi, Regine. ‐ Hey, ladies.
Khadijah.
So, what brings you
clear across town?
Oh, I love this laundromat.
And it's a snap to
get here by subway.
Hop on the D‐train, change at
Atlantic Avenue, grab the three
to Grand Army Plaza, fifteen
minute walking you are here.
Well, so, isn't your
apartment all fixed up nice?
Ah, girl, it's fabulous.
I've turned it into a
little French hideaway.
Apparently so hidden your
ass can't seem to find it.
What do you want?
'Regine, it's mommy.'
I'm sorry I'm late, but I
had to hurdle three rhinos.
Happy house warming.
I haven't seen one of
these since grannies funeral.
Well, what do you think?
My very own Pied‐à‐terre.
Well, I don't know what the
heck that is, but this is a dump.
What are you talking about?
This place is packed with amenities.
Breakfast nooklet,
soft wood floors
and a veranda de soleil.
Regine, that's a fire escape.
You know, for once,
could you maybe
give me some encouragement?
Okay, okay. I encourage
you to pick up that phone
disinfect it, call Khadijah
and beg her to take you back.
If you won't I will.
God knows I've done it before.
I'm not moving back
in with Khadijah.
Fine, then think of it as
moving back in with Synclaire.
Mom, there is nothing
wrong with place
that a mountain
of gifts won't fix.
Hence my house
warming party next week.
Wait, you know, I would love
to stay and help you fill out
the place cards but those kids
are eyeing my eight‐track. Hey!
Here, take the dog.
You know I'm proud of you, baby.
I've never seen anybody
stand by such a bad decision.
Out of the way boozers,
I'm coming down.
Okay, I'm breaking off.
Synclaire, come back here, girl.
‐ Okay, okay. ‐ Hell,
I was leaning on you.
Well, I'm very
proud of you, Max.
You looked pretty good out
there for a roller blading virgin.
Yes, well, as we both
know I move pretty well.
‐ Alright. ‐ Come on.
Well, come on, have a seat.
I'll help you off with the skates.
Why, I'm not taking 'em off.
Oh, come on, Max, you
know you're tired. Sit down.
I know when I'm tired.
Don't tell me when I'm tired.
I'd know, no control freak.
Huh, you know
what your problem is?
You don't know how
to let a man be a man.
You really think somebody
trying to attack your manhood?
Yeah, but what else
I'm supposed to think
when you're always saying
"Be a man about it, Kyle.
Be a man about it?"
Well, it's good to
know you're listening.
Now... help me take
these skates off, I'm tired.
Dang, y'all worked
through this much faster
than you did at that
laundromat thing.
As I like to call it "The
rumble where it tumbles."
Well, if it isn't
Starlight Express.
Obie, look, we
got an invitation.
You are cordially
invited to attend
the house warming extravaganza
of Ms. Regine Hunter.
Oh, here's one addressed to
the love birds, Maxine and Kyle.
Anything for me?
Well, just this Sweepstakes
offer designed to look like
a check from the IRS.
Who would've thought?
Regine does not miss a beat.
She invited everybody but me.
Well, maybe it's just
a party for couples.
You know people who
have somebody in their lives.
Don't feel bad, Khadijah.
Khadijah, you can
come as our guest.
No, says here, "You're
hostess respectfully requests"
no camera's, no
children, no guest."
Translation, no Kodaks,
no kids, no Khadijah.
Well, if you don't go,
Maxine and Kyle won't go.
Yo, ho, ho, ho, whoa..
You cannot just dictate.
Side bar.
Look, if I don't want to go,
you shouldn't want to go.
But I want to go.
And I am going.
Bye‐bye.
Oh, Kyle, be a man about it.
He just hates that.
Well, Khadijah, are
you gonna be okay?
Please, I'm fine. It's not
like I'm desperate for things
to do on a Saturday night.
Really, that's the
first time in a month.
You know, Synclaire,
sometimes I really love
your wide‐eyed innocence.
Yet sometimes you
just wish I shut up.
‐ That's right. ‐ Yeah.
‐ Welcome. ‐ Hi, Regine.
Bienvenue.
Did you have any
trouble finding the place?
Not at all, we just followed
the camera crew from "Cops."
Well, it, it must be
convenient having
everything all in one room.
Yeah, sort of like
you own little Alcatraz.
Hey, wait a minute,
you brought no Max.
She and her bad
attitude are at home.
Along with an
uninvited, Khadijah.
Did I forget to
put her on my list?
Was she mad?
Oh, no. No, no, no.
Oh, she had big plans.
Didn't know what they were but..
Synclaire.
So, Regine, come on, how
do you really like it down here?
Kyle, I love it. I can't get
enough of the East Village.
And the people
around here, I feel like
I have known them for years.
Party can begin
everyone, I'm here.
That's Carl, he lives upstairs.
Carl, honey, these
are my friends.
This is, Synclaire,
Overton and Kyle.
Charmed.
Regine and I met
at the trash chute.
She wanted me
but I decided that we
should just be friends.
Thanks so much for inviting
me after that devastating blow.
Doesn't that level of arrogance
just turn your stomach?
Say, who's that cat?
'That's the building
superintendent, Orville.'
Hey, Orvy, this is a party,
my friend, have some punch.
Alcohol, while I'm
using sandpaper?
Why don't I just sit
in a tub of kerosene
and shove a lighter
down my pants?
Bit graphic, but the
man's got a point.
We brought you a gift.
Oh.
It's a sandwich press, ow.
We let Overton pick it out.
Did you keep the receipt?
You know, not that I
was dying to go her party
or I care what her little
apartment looks like.
What is Regine trying to
prove by not inviting me?
More butter.
She moved out and
still a pain in the ass.
Now you are going to enjoy, yes.
Umm‐ummm, I can't
believe Kyle defied me
and went to that party.
That is the last pair of thong
underwear I buy that man.
You know you think
you know someone
and then they change on you.
I have known
Regine for 25 years.
Come to think of it, she's been
pretty stuck up the whole time.
But you know what?
If she wasn't so petty
I would have chipped in
on that sandwich press.
If we go there and just get
a little glimpse of the place
we can come back
here and rag on it.
No, I wouldn't have gone
even if she had invited me.
That's right.
But now that she
hasn't invited you
you have to go.
Um..
Let's do this.
We cannot go over there
without a house warming gift.
Come on, Max. Not
even I'm that mad at her.
Go ahead and get
that dish rack too.
Alright.
Hey, Max.
Um... so much for
neighborhood watch.
Here you go.
Now, if you'll excuse me
there's a man over
there I need to ignore.
Excuse me, are you
going to eat all that?
Uh‐huh.
My girl, carry on.
I didn't expect you to show up.
Why? Because
you didn't invite me?
I thought you'd think I
would expect you to crash
and so wouldn't
come just to be rude
there by giving me what I want.
I thought you'd
think that so I came.
Hey, Khadijah, I'm
so glad you crashed.
There's this woman
Lakeisha you gotta meet.
Now you keep saying
we need someone
to pay the other
part of that rent.
She's looking for a
place to live, come on.
Ah, excuse me, this is not
a roommate hunting party.
That's okay. I'm not
a guest. Come on.
I'm not speaking to you.
And, I can't believe
you came to this party
after I told you not to.
You know, if you are
not speaking to me
then why do I feel like
I'm in a wind tunnel?
And you know the only
reason you came here tonight
was to be with me.
Kyle, you are the most arrogant,
pig‐headed, self‐centered man
I have ever met.
I'm sorry, but taking
you home with me
is simply out of the question.
Damn! They didn't
break the mold.
Look, Max, if this
is going to work
we cannot make
everything a power struggle.
Well, if you just
put me in charge‐‐.
That's what I'm talking about.
Listen, if I come
on a little strong
it's just my way of
getting your attention.
Well, if I walk away, that's
my way of getting yours.
Alright you got it.
What are goin' to do with it?
Well, first, I'mma
give you this.
Jumbo shrimp?
I've been saving them for
you and that wasn't easy.
You know there's a woman
here with a voracious appetite.
Kyle, this is the sweetest thing
that you have ever done for me.
No it's not, this is.
Cocktail sauce.
Let's go home.
Your place or mine?
‐ Both. ‐ Arr..
You know what I'm
saying? Hey, running my own
pet grooming
business is not easy.
Especially since
I hired my cousin
as an assistant.
Man, she lets the
dogs out the back door
and says "Run like the wind."
Oh, I'd love to fire her,
but you know she fam.
You and Khadijah have
so much in common.
If it's the truth, I say
we make this happen.
You want the room, it's yours.
Who wants some punch?
Isn't life amazing?
We came to celebrate
with our old roommate
end up with a whole new one.
Well, sooky‐sooky now.
Well, the Browns
Stone's a lovely little place.
‐ You'll enjoy it. ‐
It sounds perfect.
Well, perfect if
you hate privacy.
I mean, you're never alone.
Somebody is always up
crying over their love life
or burning up the kitchen
or taping Richard Bay
over your Thorn Birds.
Oh, and you can always
count on Khadijah here
to stretch out your
wigs just playing around
and to give you advice
that you didn't ask for
which turns out to
be right, of course.
And then you realize that
she only butted in because
she knows you better
than anybody else.
You know this because
you've, you've had time to think.
'Cause you're all alone now.
So best of luck.
Regine.
You know what? I
think I'm gonna pass.
Hey, I spent my days chasing
Beagles and Schnauzers.
I don't need this drama.
Regine, get out of my arm pit.
Sorry, I'm, I'm crying
all over your shirt.
Oh, but it's not
silk, it's okay.
Same old, Regine.
Yeah, well, thank God
you haven't changed.
You're always there
for me, Khadijah.
Just like Bob R.
What?
Oh, remember when we were kids
and I read the story of
Bob R., the elephant king
and his queen, Celeste?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You figured, if elephants
could be royalty, so could you.
So you renamed yourself,
Regine, the queen of
what a stupid
macaroni from school.
Yup, and you were there when
everybody else made fun of me
and they called
me spaghetti‐head.
I was making fun of you too.
No, but you understood me.
No, I didn't.
Then you pretended really well.
Okay.
Khadijah, you're
my oldest friend.
You're my best friend.
Let's keep it real,
I'm your only friend.
Oh, this is truly wonderful
two friends together again.
Sharing the love.
Who are you?
Lakeisha's cousin, Pauly.
Hush, hush, hush, hush.
Hush, hush, hush, hush.
Alright now, step back.
If there's anybody
who's gonna provide any
comfort right now, it's
gonna be me, alright?
Woo, woo, woo. Woo, woo, woo.
So, what do we do now?
I don't know.
Well, we could go home.
What you think, Synclaire?
Day after day I prayed for this.
Wishing and hoping,
praying all the prayers‐‐.
Synclaire, Synclaire.
I can live with it. You know..
Regine, there you are.
Look, I've changed
my mind, darling.
I'll see you upstairs... in ten.
Don't go away,
we'll be right back.
It's really a magical
place, isn't it?
The gurgling of the washers,
the gentle purring of all those
dryers lined up
like little soldiers.
Sometimes staring into a
dryer just takes me away.
Watching the clothing tumble
round and round and round.
For fun I like to
watch one little thing.
Like a red sock.
Sometimes it mingles
with the other clothing.
Other times it just
goes off by itself.
Who knows where it goes?
Oh, oh, fabric softener
time. Excuse me.
This place is a magnet
for psychopaths.
Woo‐hoo!