Living Single (1993–1998): Season 1, Episode 13 - Love Takes a Holiday - full transcript

Alright, here we go.
Thanksgiving turkey.

Self‐basting, built‐in
thermometer, foolproof.

If we mess up, turkey roll.

Oh, man, the freezer's packed.

How are we supposed
to keep this bird frozen

for the next five days?

Gosh, just get rid of
some of this fattening stuff

you got in here.

Chocolate ice cream?

Chocolate chocolate
chip ice cream.

Chocolate brownie ice cream.



Chocolate.
Alright, let's dig in.

I'm not eating that mess
at no 9:00 in the morning.

Come on, Khadijah.

Breakfast is the most
important meal of the day.

Well, if I'm going to eat
something that decadent

I've got to have a
very good reason.

How about just got to make
some room for the turkey?

Works for me.

♪ Check check check it out
check check check it out ♪

♪ What you want?
No free position ♪

♪ We are living ♪
♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Single ♪
♪ Hey ♪

♪ Yes we're living
the single life yeah ♪

♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪



♪ Single ♪

♪ Ooh and in a
'90s kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up what? ♪

♪ Keep your head
up that's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪

♪ With my home girls standing
to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ And in a '90s kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Haaaa ♪

Synclaire, do you
mind? You're humming.

I'm sorry. I don't
know the words.

♪ Reunited and it
feels so goo‐o‐‐ ♪

Synclaire, Stacey
and I are working.

♪ ...o‐ood ♪

I'm finished.

Like I was saying,
Stacey, these pictures

I don't think they're right
for the Christmas issue.

What's wrong with them?

A sad clown with his
makeup running in the rain.

A skinny puppy
shivering in the rain.

The rain.

Then I guess my picture of
the clown kicking the puppy

won't work either.

These photos don't exactly
give me that ho‐ho‐ho feeling.

I'm sorry. It's just that
my boyfriend dumped me.

Oh, man, that's too bad.
Y'all were together for a while.

Mm‐hmm, six worthless years.

Wow. That's a long time.

If you'd had a kid the first
year, he'd be five now, huh?

That's comforting.
I'll be in the darkroom.

Hold up, Stacey.

Look, if you let this
get to you, you'll wind up

turnin' into a bitter old woman
with nothing to look forward to

but brushing your teeth
and setting them in a glass.

We're going out with
our girlfriends tonight.

‐ Why don't you
join us? ‐ 'Yeah.'

Well, I was planning on
cooking my ex‐boyfriend's clothes

on the hibachi.

Come on, girl. It
would be good for you.

You'll relax, you'll cheer up

and you'll give me
some photos I can use.

Okay, but can we not talk
about men, relationships or sex?

Fine.

We'll just pass notes
on napkins all night.

Anchors aweigh.

So we get to the
restaurant, right?

And that's when he
offers me the ring.

And he told me that
it's a family heirloom.

Ooh, that sounds romantic.

Please. I had that
thing appraised.

Well, at least he
took you to dinner.

My ex couldn't even
afford to pay attention.

Don't ever date a musician.

Unless it's Tito
Jackson. He's so cute.

So, Stace, what you
doing for Thanksgiving?

Oh, I don't know, I was
planning on renting some videos

eating some chocolate,
and making a voodoo doll.

You can do that here.
I'll bring my stick pins.

Yeah. Why don't
you hang out with us?

We're going to stuff
ourselves with turkey

and lie on the couch and moo.

Alright. I'll come.
Can I bring anything?

Now, see, Max,
that's what you do

when you come over
to somebody's house.

See, you offer to
bring something.

I bring my charm and my wit.

Yes, dear, but if you'd
offered, we'd say no.

See, Overton, I told
you. I know my women.

Max wasn't any
louder than usual.

There's an extra
hen in the house.

Stacey, this is Overton.

Oh, and don't look
directly at the other one

or you'll turn into
a pillar of salt.

Excuse me while I ignore you.

Hi. Kyle Barker.
Pleasure to meet you.

Oh, same here. Stacey Evans.

Stacey's gonna be spending
Thanksgiving with us.

Really?

Oh, Overton and I are going
to the Macy's Day Parade.

‐ Why don't you come
with? ‐ Oh, no, thanks.

I'm not much of a parade person.

Well, Synclaire, looks
like it's down to you and me

standing on that parade
route, our hearts full of joy

our Thermoses full of hot cocoa

and our favorite
cartoon characters

full of non‐flammable helium.

Okay, okay. Stop. Stop.
I'm getting too excited.

Stop it.

So, Stacey, what do you do?

‐ I'm a photographer. ‐ Really?

Photography's kind
of a hobby of mine too.

What camera do you use?

I use a Leica R‐7
with the 180 lens.

And you?

Uh, actually I'm more of a
Fuji disposable kind of guy.

‐ Built‐in flash.
‐ Ah, good save.

Do you always lie to strangers?

Every time, if I can
get a smile like that.

‐ Oh. ‐ Ooh, there it is again.

So, Stacey, what do you do
when you're not taking pictures?

A movie with your boyfriend,
dinner with your boyfriend

or just hanging out
with your boyfriend?

I'm unattached.

Really? Isn't that nice?

Can I get you anything?
My phone number?

Kyle, can‐can I
talk to you, babes?

Mmm, mmm.

Excuse us.

‐ So, Kyle, how are
you doing? ‐ Fine.

‐ Leave Stacey alone. ‐
What are you talking about?

Kyle, that girl just
had her heart broken.

She's in no condition
to be talking to men.

Or to you.

Will you two
wildebeests back off?

Look, I'm gonna do
nothing to hurt that girl.

Oh, please, we
see you over there

trying to work a mojo on her.

Perpetrating. What do you
know about photography?

I know that you're
underdeveloped.

I don't mean to pat
myself on the back

but these are kind of perfect.

Bright. Upbeat.
Very Christmassy.

This don't even
look like New York.

That's because I airbrushed
the winos out of the shot.

It looks to me like someone's
spirits have been lifted

over the last few days.

Hm, you could say that.

So hanging out with the
girls did you some good, huh?

Mm‐hmm. That and
doing the wild thing.

Hey, hey..

Girlfriend got her some.

So what's the
four‐uno‐uno, girl?

It was incredible.

‐ Boyfriend was
all there. ‐ Ooh.

I hate you. Keep talking.

Well, you know how we
always pray for seconds?

This was a sexual salad bar.

Did he stay all night? Did
he make you breakfast?

I was Kyle's breakfast, girl.

Did you say Kyle? Our Kyle?

Hold up. I just went blank.

'Mm.'

It was a real pick‐me‐up.

Well, that's certainly a morale
boost we couldn't provide.

Oh, well, I'm sorry, I
hope I haven't made you

uncomfortable by
talking about this.

Hey, I can live
with it if you can.

Well, congratulations.

You and Kyle will make
a very handsome couple.

I just got out of
a relationship.

I am not in the market
for anything serious.

Oh, I hear you. I'm a woman
of the '90s too, you know.

Then you understand.

Sometimes, it's just
the physical thing.

Is that what she meant?

You know, it's always romantic

when two shallow
people get together

and become uninvolved.

Hello, my beautiful
Nubian queen.

‐ For you. ‐ For what?

For introducing me
to Stacey. Is she here?

Yeah, she's in the back.

Uh, look, Khadijah, I know
you were kind of worried

that I might hurt Stacey,
but this time it's different.

‐ Different? ‐ Yeah.

I mean, this feels like it
could be the start of something.

I even wrote her phone
number down in ink.

Ooh, looks like Kyle's
been bitten by the love bug.

Right on the ass.

Hey, I understand if Stacey
is just out to have a good time

but I have never seen
Kyle this stupid in love.

It must be stopped.

If Kyle wants to tiptoe along
the edge of an empty pool

I say we push him in.

Well, I can't believe
the way y'all are going

on and on about Kyle

and you haven't said boo
about my new holiday wig.

Hey, Synclaire.

Got everything we need
for the parade on Thursday.

Ooh, this is great.

Blankets, binoculars, and a TV?

Why, a parade
just isn't a parade

without the savvy
commentary of Regis Philbin.

Overton, has Kyle mentioned
anything to you about Stacey?

Oh, just that he
really likes her

he can't get her off his mind

and he's happier
than he's ever been.

But other than that, he's
been downright tightlipped.

Hello, ladies.

‐ Max. ‐ Hey, Kyle.

You're looking well for
your first day up on two legs.

Hey, bud, look.

I prepared a very romantic
dinner for Stacey and myself.

So can you come upstairs
and fix the dust buster?

I wanna clean up
before she gets there.

No problem, shorty.
I'll hook you up.

Check you out, Kyle.

In the kitchen making
dinner for a woman

dusting.

You really going all
out for this girl, huh?

Yeah, well, Stacey's worth it.

You know, she
really appreciates me

and she loves my sense of
humor. I'm always making her laugh.

Maybe you should
keep your clothes on.

Max, Max, I'd love to stay here
and trade witty insults with you

but I have to go and throw
rose petals on the bed.

Oh, no, that's
how the dust buster

got clogged up
in the first place.

Wow, rose petals on the bed.

That's so romantic.

Y'all, Kyle is in deep.

I should talk to that
man and let him know

he's wasting time with Stacey.

Kadijah's right. We
can't let him make a fool

of himself, can we?

Yes.

Khadijah, Kyle's not
gonna listen to you anyway.

Girl, he is in love

and no man can think
clearly when he's in love.

I know. That's when I
get the big money gifts.

Regine, every time
you open up your mouth.

You set sisterhood back
about a hundred years.

Well, Max, the next
time you're marching

for women's rights, look up.

That's me in the box seat.

And I'll have the fur on my
back and the man on my arms.

‐ Stace, can I talk
to you? ‐ Oh, sure.

Synclaire, can we
have some privacy?

If you want privacy,
build a whole wall.

I wanna talk to you about Kyle.

He seems to think you two
are having a relationship.

Really? Well, we've only been

seeing each other
a couple of days.

That's all it took.

I'm telling you the
brother is gone.

Besides, Stacey,
love knows no time.

People got together every
day on "The Love Boat."

You know, except for
Isaac who only fell in love

when they could find a
black woman, you know.

I gotta do something
about that wall.

Hmm.

Look, it's none of my business,
but I'm gonna tell you anyway.

If you keep seeing
Kyle, he is gonna get hurt.

Oh, I don't wanna do
that. I really like Kyle.

It's just that he came
along at the wrong time.

Well, then be
straight up with him.

I should, shouldn't I?

I will.

But I'm sure gonna
miss breakfast in bed.

I hear you.

No, really. I can hear you.

I can hear every
word you're saying.

Oh, you guys missed
a great parade.

Underdog is so much
bigger in real life.

Yeah. So is Willard Scott.

So where's Kyle?

Uh, he'll be joining
us a little bit late.

Stacey came by, said she wanted
to talk to him about something.

Think she's going
to break up with Kyle

like Khadijah told her to?

How do you know about that?

Well, Synclaire's my willing
conduit into the female world.

I can't believe Stacey waited
till Thanksgiving to do this.

Yep, and now poor Kyle
will feel a twinge of pain

every time he sees a butterball.

Well, I personally think
that Kyle is better off

getting a little hurt now
than being devastated later

if you ask me.

Okay, that must be him.

Now let's show
him a little kindness.

Max, do what you can.

Hi. Stacey, you're here.

‐ With Kyle. ‐ Naturally.

He seems to be taking it
pretty well, don't you think?

I can't believe this.

Stacey promised she was
going to set Kyle straight.

Look at Kyle
fawning all over her.

It's pathetic.

Damn. I should
have invited a date.

Mm. Here she comes.

‐ Khadijah, I‐‐ ‐ No.

I thought you were gonna
tell Kyle the real deal.

I tried, but then he got
all soft and sweet on me

and I knew we were
both coming here.

I didn't want dinner
to be awkward.

'Thanks.'

Now everybody here knows
how you feel about Kyle

except Kyle.

We're all real comfortable.

I'm sorry. It's just
not easy to hurt him.

We should talk.

Stacey, what's
keeping you in here?

Come on, Overton and
Synclaire wanna see the bracelet

I just got you.

Wha.. Brace.. Wha.. Ah, wha..

‐ Check it out. ‐ Kyle.

Oh, Stacey, that's lovely.

Suits her perfectly,
don't you think?

Delicate and classy
just like my girl.

Hmm, that's
Cartier love bracelet.

That's 18 karat.

Hmm, you sure got
it going on, Stace.

Good job, good friends
and a man like Kyle

who's generous, devoted
and trusting in a ridiculous way.

Wait, wait, hold up.

Now I didn't do so
bad for myself either.

Stacey is, uh,
she's the best thing

that's happened
to me in a long time.

Oh, Kyle, stop.

What? There's
nothing embarrassing

about how we
feel for each other.

‐ I don't care who knows
it. ‐ Yeah, that's true.

This morning Kyle spelled out

Kyle loves Stacey
in his Alpha‐Bits.

Of course, they
never make enough Ss

so it really said
Kyle love Tacey.

Personally, I think it's
refreshing to see Kyle

with a woman
who's not inflatable.

Ah, that's funny,
Max. That's fun..

Ooh, do I love that
face? Look at that face.

Alright, that's
it. Kyle, kitchen.

Excuse me.

Max, what's going on with you?

Me? What about you?

It's hard enough watching
you coo and cuddle

but when you start
to get cutesy with me

I have to speak on it.

Max, what are you talking about?

Here it is, A, you're in love.

B, she's not.

Ergo, you look like a fool.

Tsk, tsk. Max, this is so sad.

I mean, you look at a
couple like us and you figure.

Hmm, that'll never be me.

That's right, that
will never be me

because I'm smart enough to
know when I'm being played.

Kyle, the girl's using you.

She don't want you.

Max, you couldn't be more wrong.

I mean, if Stacey didn't
have feelings for me

then why would she have
accepted the bracelet?

Maybe she's got
feelings for jewelry.

Give it up.

'Cause I'm in a real
bind when it comes

to getting a Christmas
gift for my mom.

Last year, I got her eyebrow wax

and the year before,
I got her Epilady.

What do you get a woman
that's got everything?

Electrolysis.

Well, this year, my
Christmas present

to my parents is going to be me.

I'm going home for the holidays.

In fact, Stacey, I would love it

if you'd come home
and meet them.

Kyle, can we talk
about this later?

Well, well, baby, what's
there to talk about?

I mean, you do want
to go with me, right?

Yeah, Stacey. You
know you wanna go.

Uh, Kyle, can we go and
talk about this in private?

Try the kitchen. It's
got the best acoustics.

Well, here comes the boot.

Can't say we didn't warn him.

Kyle's gonna need
our tender loving TLC.

And we'll be here for him

till the thermometer
pops on that turkey.

Now here he comes.
Everybody, act natural.

‐ I'm going in.
‐ I got your back.

Uh, Kyle?

How are you doing, buddy?

Man, how do you think
I'm doing? She just left me.

Uh, yo, Kyle, keep it down.
The girls are right behind you.

But hey, I'm fine.
Thanks for asking.

Are you alright for real?

Khadijah, I..

I can't believe that
she left me like that.

I'm Kyle, baby.

This kind of thing
does not happen to me.

I feel so stupid.

Everybody plays
the fool sometime.

Kyle.

You deserve better than
her. She's not worth it.

Good Lord, he's
ugly when he cries.

Kyle, you are a sweet

intelligent, good‐looking man.

And that's a lot
to be thankful for.

And this is the day to do it.

So why don't we just go eat?

Thanks, Khadijah.

Kyle, honey, I just
have one question.

Of course, I got
the bracelet back.

I've taught you so well.

Oh.

You know, I don't
get you, money.

You act like you
can't stand Kyle

but you were the first one to
warn him about what was coming.

Think you're getting
sentimental in your old age.

No. I just figured if anyone's
gonna inflict pain on Kyle

I ought to be in on it.

Old soft‐hearted Max.

Yeah, well, I got to go.

It's amazing.

You come up in
here with nothing..

And yet you leave with
enough food to last you a week.

That's where you
underestimate me, my little friend.

I'll be back for breakfast.

‐ Oh, hey, Max.
‐ Goodnight, Kyle.

I was just coming down
to say thanks for dinner

and, and everything.

Well, you're welcome.

Now you be careful
crossing the street.

You know there's a
leash law in this town.

There's also a
pooper‐scooper law

but no one's
come to collect you.

Happy Thanksgiving.

You too.