Little Dog (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Round Eight - full transcript

Last season on Little Dog,
my brother, boxer Tommy Ross,

was supposed to throw his big fight
against Rico in the fifth round.

I bet Mom's house that he
would, 'cause I heard

Tucker give him the ultimatum:
it was either that or die.

You're going down in the fifth.

You can't count on Tommy
to get anything right.

No, instead he hospitalised his opponent

6 and left his family
homeless. 6 We lost the house!

Mama's pissed, and Tommy
chickens out on a kid's bicycle,

almost running over Pamela, who
brought this little guy to meet him,

and nobody's laid eyes on him since.



(SOFT MUSIC)

- (HONKING)
- (TUCKER YELLING)

Tommy, I'm searching for a reason
to not rip those scrawny legs and ass

off of that scrawny
little body of yours,

and I can't find a reason!

Give it to me. He just
cost me a small fortune!

You lost my house!

You've cursed this family
since the day you were born!

Don't run him over, just bump into him.

That's right, Little
Dog, run away! Run away!

You can run, but not that fast!

Not that fast!

Tommy, I'd feel bad if
you were the kind of loser

who was trying to make it
right with the world, but oh no,



you're the kind of
loser that loves losing,

and I can't have any of
that splatter back on me!

(BEEPING)

You destroy everything you touch!!!

- You're worse than a child!
- (BEEPING)

- Jesus! Just...
- (YELLING)

I curse the day you were born!

Tommy! Tommy!

(THUD)

- What's that?
- (SQUEAKING)

(WINGS FLAPPING)

- Gotcha!
- (THUD)

Yeah... sorry.

I got you.

(DOG BARKING)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

You need tinned milk, Ginny.

Yeah, well, I don't like tinned milk,

so I don't keep it in my
house, so why would I use it?

I had a whole case of it in my pantry.

Sheriff's Department has that now.

How can they just march in there
and order me out of my home?

It's not right. It's just...

- wrong.
- Yeah. Yeah, it is.

You didn't use tinned milk.

It's not gonna thicken.

Look. Look. Right?

Mom uses tinned milk.

- Why would you keep this?
- Who was that?

He's my Airbnb guest,

which is another reason
why you can't stay here.

- You'll let strangers stay here but not me?
- Strangers who pay.

How is my beautiful mother today?

Tommy's been in the woods for
a week with nothing to eat.

He'll show his face sooner or later,

- soon as he knows where you're living.
- She's not living here.

Neither are you and neither is Tommy.

No one said anyone else
is living here, Ginny,

- except me.
- Oh, hey,

it was my idea to come to
Ginny's in the first place!

- You lost my house!
- (WHIMPERING)

He was supposed to go down in the fifth!

- He knew what he was doing.
- His day will come.

Just like yours.

Everything comes out in
the wash, mark my words.

Why, did you... find
something in the laundry?

'Cause they were giving them
away down at the clinic for free.

I took one out and tried
it on just to see if it fit,

but I never used it.

This is Chesley's dinner.

- (PHONE CHIMING)
- So thank you.

- _
- Ches! We gotta go, come on.

- Get some tinned milk while you're out.
- Chesley!

(BEACHY SONG)

You destroy everything you touch!

Fuck.

(BEACHY SONG)

Mmm.

(MOANING)

(INDISTINCT)

I was gonna eat you.

I was gonna fry and
eat you, man. (LAUGHING)

(MUMBLING)

(STOMACH RUMBLING)

(STOMACH RUMBLING)

Come on, Ches.

- There she is.
- Hi!

My sitter fell through. Can you
watch him for methis afternoon?

Sure, yeah, I like random kids.

Where'd you find him, in your uterus?

Sorry, what? Sorry, what now?

We just sat together for
three hours the other day

getting your hair done and
you didn't say anything about

- a little person you made.
- Jesus, Pam.

How old is he? How old are you, honey?

Five? He's five! Oh wow!

- Who's the dad?
- What kind of a question is that?

- Rico's been...
- Pff! Yeah, no.

If that was his kid, he
would've paraded him through

every photo shoot from here to Vegas.

- Whose child is it?
- Can you drop it? Stay there, honey.

Five years, huh?

Five years. Oh, I know!

Five years ago, you went
super straight-edge on me

- for a little bit there!
- What?

Right before Rico and Tommy's fight.

Yeah, you're reaching, Ginny.

You!

You wouldn't touch the really,
really, really super good,

very nice, very clean molly that I had

and you weren't smoking and
you refused to drink anything.

That's because you
were already pregnant!

Before Rico, right?

- Right?
- Pamela!

That's Tommy's kid, isn't it?

That's my brother's kid.

Ohh!!!

Oh, honey! Oh, honey!
Ches, you have a new cousin!

Goddammit, Ginny, not
in front of the kid!

Oh. We've never had this talk,

so your uncle Tommy

- took his penis and...
- Mom!

- and...
- Oh my God!

Listen, Rico hasn't had a
good purse for two years, OK?

My credit is maxed. I
ran out on the hotel bill.

I left through the car park.
We're practically homeless.

OK.

But I have this meeting that
could fix a lot of shit...

OK, OK. Don't worry. Don't worry.

Guess what? You get to come over
and play at Auntie Ginny's house!

- What's his name?
- Cassius.

- OK!
- Come on!

Wow, Pam! Yeah.

- Wow. OK. Come on, little buddy.
- Wow.

- Hey, OK, how am I his cousin?
- Don't worry about it.

Hello? Rico?

Where is he?

Excuse me. Doctor?

Can I help you? Rico St.
George, he's my husband.

- Has he been moved?
- Oh, the boxer.

- He was discharged earlier this morning.
- I'm sorry, what?

He just left?

I believe there was an opening
for an ophthalmologist in Montreal.

- He didn't want to wait.
- I have a contract for him to sign.

There's a promoter who
wants to pay him, so...

- He has a detached retina...
- I don't care.

OK.

- Sorry. Of course I care.
- Dr. Benoit, please report to ward six.

- Dr. Benoit.
- Excuse me.

(BLUESY ROCK SONG)

♪ I've kicked around ♪

♪ This city for too long ♪

♪ Waiting for someone ♪

♪ To hear my song ♪

♪ Don't we live the life ♪

♪ Don't we live the life ♪

(WHOOSHING)

- What?
- You won't be happy

till you see your own
mother living in...

(OVERLAPPING ANGRY VOICES)

I... I need help.

(OVERLAPPING ANGRY VOICES)

I need the hospital.

- The hospital!
- (CAWING)

Well, not much of a
champion now, are ya?

Come on, get up. Come on.

(GROANING)

Come on. Yeah.

- There you go.
- I need a hospital.

Oh my God!

Did you roll in caca?

What? There's not enough room in
the bathroom for everybody's stuff.

Who's this?

I'm not at liberty to say.

Another Airbnb guest?

Or did you stop off at the orphanage
on the way back? He's filthy.

What's up with Nan's pet?

Just wondering why everyone's
got a dad except for me.

Don't start, Ches.

Wouldn't we all love to
know that, Chesley honey?

The mystery is only,
what, fourteen years old?

You know what? Not everyone
needs to know who their dad is.

I know who my dad is, and
what has that ever done for me?

Then why'd you tell Cassius
that Tommy was his father?

What?

Ginny? Is that true?
I have a new grandson?

Let me look at ya!

How did this happen?

Well, apparently Uncle
Tommy took his penis and...

- Ches! Stop it.
- A new little grandson!

Cassius, I'm your grandmother!!!

(TOMMY MOANS)

Don't you crap on
those seats back there.

- I just had this car detailed.
- (MOANING)

Frank loved this car
more than he loved me.

- I need a doctor.
- Look, here's the doctor now.

Come on. Get out. Whoa!

Christ on a cross!
Oh, he's maggoty. Spam,

go and get the shears.

You are going down

- for the final time this time, you mutt.
- Tucker!

You gotta get this young
fella to the doctor.

Now you stop all this,
out here in the parking lot

with the whole town looking at ya.

What's going on with that nest?

He thinks he's their mother.

(LAUGHING)

No!

Yeah, well,

guess we're gonna have to
take him to the hospital.

(BELL RINGING)

Smallwood?

- Pamela, long time.
- Hey. Yeah.

I was surprised to get your call.

Yeah, I was thinking
about that course we took,

"Monetizing your Product".

- That was informative.
- I remember you had such a knack for it.

Well, I grew up around
business people, so...

I have a business proposition

and I just couldn't think of a better
person to bring it to, you know?

- Listening.
- OK.

Smallwood Promotions.

- I don't...
- Boxing Promotions.

Me? I... I couldn't do
that. No, that's not my...

Why not? You studied advertising,
right? I know you love boxing.

You're good for turning
product into profit,

and you have access to money.

- You know, the world works in mysterious ways.
- Right?

See, I made a deal with my aunt
to take over the salt business,

- but I'm meant for more, you know?
- Right?

You know? More...

glamour. And now this
opportunity is falling in my lap.

Well, looks like I can have it all.

Perfect!

- So let's talk about a signing fee. for Rico.
- A signing fee?

- How much?
- Six figures. Low six figures.

I can't do that, that's...

Besides, Rico just lost a
fight, he's hospitalized.

- He's not even worth that much.
- Oh please, Tommy got lucky.

It was an exhibition fight.
Rico's stats are the same.

- He's still the champ.
- Come on, Pamela...

I'm giving you a champion fighter.

- Hm? It's OK.
- Ah...

If you're not ready, it's cool.

P-P-P-Pamela, Pamela...

Hey, come on.

Forgot how tough you are.

OK, how soon can Rico fight?

He can't.

Rico St. George has a detached retina.

- What?
- He doesn't know what he's talking about.

He needs at least six months
of rehab, likely a year or more

before he can fight
again. If he fights again.

Thank you, Doctor, for that
helpful insight. OK, uh...

- let's just backtrack, shall we?
- Yeah, let's do that.

Forget Rico. OK?

Because we both know

the real money is in the story.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, that's what you need.

- You need a good story and I have one for you.
- (HONKING)

- Honestly, I think it's Tommy Ross.
- What?

- No, fuck that. You just said that...
- Tommy's the better story.

He just won a huge fight, he's
probably training for the next one...

- I don't think he'll say no. Let me talk to him, OK?
- Gangway!

Man on the brink.

- Get out!
- (MOANING)

Isn't that Tommy Ross?

- I don't know, I didn't really see his face.
- Tommy!

These people are trying
to live in my house!

Tommy Ross, you better not die
before I get my hands on you.

Tommy, Tommy, Tommy.

What a disaster.

Tucker called

and said Tommy shit all over the
back seat of a Lincoln Town Car.

So that's your story?

- He gonna live?
- Yes, he's going to live. We had to pump his stomach.

- We'll monitor him.
- Yeah,

I'll monitor him too.

Visiting hours are over.

You have to go.

Yeah.

I think I'm just gonna stay.

- Then I will call security.
- (SCOFFING)

Security? Ooh.

We're out, anyway.

That's going nowhere. Come on.

Thank you.

- (TUCKER CHUCKLING)
- Thank you.

- Where do you think you're going?
- Watch out, man. Watch out.

You really fucked her, man.
You screwed all of us, in fact.

So I'll fix it. I won.

All right? I'll just take
the win and I'll run with it.

Man, it was an exhibition bout.

Now Rico is down, but the
title is vacant, it's not yours.

Well, who's next in line?

Jesus. Not you, look at yourself.

Man, and now you're a dad,
and what kind of an upbringing

- is that for a little fella, right?
- What?

Oh yeah. Pamela dumped
a youngster off on ya.

- Where? How?
- Well, I suppose at some point

- you took your penis and you put it in her vagina...
- Yeah, I know that, Lowly, but...

- where is it, or her, or whatever it is?
- Still with the family.

Now look, I'm tellin' ya, man,

you got to do right by this young
feller, or else what will happen?

- He'll start drowning puppies in buckets.
- Fuck!

- Hey, what are ya...
- Sorry, excuse me.

Fuck! You fuck!

Jesus, man, look at yourself.

Running up and down the
hallways of a hospital

holding a bird's nest.

You comes in screaming

about broken eggs!

I am cursed, man, I just... you know?

They were all I got.

And now I'll be a dad? Pff!

Just...

Tommy!

Tommy Ross, you get back here!

(PANTING)

Who are you?

I'm, uh...

I'm your dad.