Life with Lucy (1986): Season 1, Episode 8 - Mother of the Bride - full transcript
(theme music playing)
♪ Every day I'm better
than I ever was before ♪
♪ Every day I'm loving,
living more and more ♪
♪ Every day holds keys
to possibilities galore ♪
♪ Every day is better than before ♪
♪ How you feel depends on who you are ♪
♪ Who you are depends on what you do ♪
♪ What you do is mostly up to you ♪
♪ It's true ♪
I You can make a better you I
♪ Every day is a new world
that I'm eager to explore ♪
♪ Every day opportunity
knocks at my door ♪
♪ Every day I'm loving,
living more and more and more ♪
♪ And every day is better than ♪
♪ Keep on saying, "Yes, I can" ♪
♪ And every day is better than before ♪
Hey, I need somebody
to empty the garbage!
Would someone please come
and empty the dishwasher?
Guess not.
Okay. All right, dinner's ready.
Well, now I know what to yell
if I ever get mugged.
Pass the lima beans.
Mom, what's the big red circle
on the calendar for?
Oh, I don't want your father
to forget our wedding anniversary.
Oh, come on, Margo,
give me a little credit.
How could I forget that after nine years?
Ten years.
Ten years.
Seems like just yesterday
you two eloped.
You guys eloped?
- Ted: Yep.
- Uh-huh.
We were gonna have a regular wedding,
but, uh, things got out of hand.
She means I got out of hand.
Well, Mom, you wanted us
to get married in a cathedral
with a high mass by an archbishop.
So?
We're not even Catholic.
- I go to bingo.
- Oh.
Admit it, Lucille, you got carried away.
(laughs) She's my only daughter.
I always dreamed of giving her
a big wedding
Uh-huh.
Which is exactly why we eloped.
You see, kids, I think that getting
married is a commitment of love
between two people
that should be shared quietly
and without fanfare.
Yeah, and without
the mother of the bride.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
Ah, please, Lucille.
They've been married ten years,
and maybe it was no frills,
but you must admit it was effective.
Listen, did you kids ever hear
about your grandpa's wedding?
- Mm-mm.
- No.
Tell 'em, Grandpa.
Well, it was a wonderfully frugal affair.
My darling Josephine and I
went to City Hall on our lunch hour.
Luckily, Josephine was working
at a doughnut shop at the time.
So she was already dressed in white.
(laughter)
Yeah, and instead of rice,
the guests threw powdered sugar.
Laugh if you will.
Our entire wedding only cost $2.50.
Each.
I'd like to do something special
this anniversary.
You know, a lot of couples celebrate
by renewing their vows.
Yeah, they have a ceremony,
reception, and everything.
Oh, that would be so romantic,
wouldn't it, honey?
How about those Lakers, Dad?
Oh, come on, Ted.
Sometimes I feel like
I missed out on being a bride.
Just once I would like to be
the mother of the bride.
You know what we could do?
We could move the furniture
out of the living room
and have it right here at home.
Come on, Dad. It'll be neat.
Yeah, Dad.
I didn't go to your first wedding.
Thank goodness.
Margo and I
will take care of everything, Ted.
And, Curtis, you won't have to do
anything but pay for half.
Well, I'd be glad to.
Here's my 2.50.
- Please?
- Please?
Please?
- Okay.
- Yay!
- Good boy!
- But, please, keep it small.
- Okay.
- Wait till I tell the kids at school
my parents
are finally getting married!
I wouldn't put it exactly
that way, darling.
-(doorbell rings)
- No. Oh, don't get up.
The mother of the bride will get it.
(humming wedding march)
Audrey!
Lucy!
- Oh!
- Oh, am I glad to see you.
Oh, Lucy.
Oh, what a surprise.
My sister is here! My sister is here!
All: Audrey!
Aunt Audrey.
Audrey!
Hi. Oh, hi, sweetheart.
- Hi, Audrey.
- Lucy: What a surprise.
Oh, and there he is,
the cutest little hardware man
in Pasadena.
Oh-oh, go on.
There must be one cuter somewhere.
I'll get your bags, Aunt Audrey.
Oh, Lucy, I've missed you so.
It's so good to see you.
Oh, you bet.
What are you doing in town?
I thought you were working
on a cruise ship?
- I am, but the engine broke down.
- Oh.
So I am shipwrecked here for two weeks.
I'll bet Pasadena's a pretty boring place
to a world traveler like you.
Oh, Pasadena.
100,000 people, a dozen stories.
Well, you couldn't have picked
a better time to come.
Ted and I are celebrating
our tenth anniversary next week.
That's right.
We're gonna renew our vows.
- Yeah.
- Oh, congratulations, kids.
- Ted: Thanks.
- Margo's finally going to have
the wedding Lucy always dreamed of.
Yes, this is perfect, and I'm so thrilled
that you're going to be here.
Well, you know,
as the social director on the ship,
- I plan weddings all the time.
- Oh.
And I have some marvelous ideas.
Oh, well, thanks, Audrey,
but I've got some
pretty marvelous ideas of my own.
-(laughs)
- Oh.
Are you ready for this? Now, listen.
We fill the room with white daisies.
Mom, that sounds beautiful.
I love it. I love it.
But don't you think white tea roses
would add a touch of class?
Oh, well, we couldn't afford
white tea roses, Aunt Audrey.
Oh, darling. I know a vendor
in the flower market.
I can get them for you wholesale.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, I love tea roses.
I love wholesale.
Good, then it's settled.
Now, what about food?
Well, uh, I thought that we'd start
with hot hors d'oeuvre, you know,
maybe Swedish meatballs.
Oh, darling.
Nobody but nobody serves
Swedish meatballs anymore.
Oh. Not even the Swedes?
How about tiny tacos?
Ooh, I'd love tiny tacos.
Well, and speaking of food,
Aunt Audrey,
we just were sitting down to dinner.
Would you like to join us?
- Oh, I'd love to.
- Great.
- Oh, good. Let's go.
- Come on, kids.
You know, I thought we could release
some white doves. Just...
Trust me, Margo,
it'll be a day that you never forget.
Yeah. Doves are dirty birds.
I will turn this room
into a bower of flowers,
and music will play
and champagne corks will pop.
You just leave it to Audrey.
(laughs)
(mockingly)
"You just leave it to Audrey."
Audrey.
(telephone ringing)
Hello?
Doc Severinsen's agent?
Why should I care
that Doc doesn't play weddings
and bat mitzvahs?
Oh, ho, ho, ho, yeah,
well, same to you, buddy.
You tried to hire Doc Severinsen's band?
A wedding has to have music.
This was supposed to be a simple affair.
Who's going to perform the ceremony?
Johnny Carson?
Is he ordained?
Lucille, this wedding
is totally out of hand.
Oh, will you calm down?
I have everything under control.
Under control?
Look at this guest list.
Ron and Nancy Reagan?
Yeah, they won't come,
but can you imagine the gift they'll send?
Where are you going
to put all these people?
Right here on folding chairs.
- Oh, they'll never fit.
- Of course they will.
Your cousin Flo won't.
Good old "two chair" Flo.
She flows from one chair
onto the next.
Oh...
What do you want me to do?
Put a weight limit on the guest list?
No, just cut the list in two.
And cut it from your side
of the family.
I will not. No way.
I will not remove a single name
from this list.
You don't have to.
Margo already did.
She did?
Yeah, a couple of days ago.
She and Aunt Audrey went through the list
and cut it way down.
They did that without me?
Well, I don't think they wanted
to bother you at work.
Oh.
Well, did they invite my cousin Florence?
Oh, sure, they did.
'Course, that meant
they had to cut the Barker twins.
Well, let's see what else I have to do.
I have to order champagne.
No, Aunt Audrey already did that.
- Oh.
- Yeah, she got a great price, too.
She's dating some guy
who owns a winery up in the Napa Valley.
Hmm. Ernest, Julio, or both?
Oh, that's a good one, Mom.
Yeah. Boy, I don't know how we could have
done thing wedding without Aunt Audrey.
Ernest or Julio. (laughs)
Your sister Audrey is really something.
She's clever, effective, tasteful,
and a total buttinsky.
Yeah, well, thank you very much, Curtis.
The last thing I need to hear
is somebody else
singing the praises of my sister Audrey.
Did you say "buttinsky"?
With a capital "butt."
Oh, bless you, Curtis. Bless you.
Finally, someone understands how I feel.
All my life, I dreamed of planning
a wedding with my daughter,
and Audrey comes in
and takes over the whole thing.
Well, what are you going to do about it?
Well, I've got just one thing
that I think maybe
might be buttinsky-proof.
Ooh. You have piqued my interest.
- Now, this is a big secret.
- Oh.
My wedding gown.
- Why, it's beautiful.
- Yeah.
To save money, you see,
Margo's planning to wear her white suit,
and I'm going to offer my gown instead.
What a lovely gesture.
Yeah, when Margo was little,
she found my dress in the attic,
and she called it the most
"bootiful dwess in the wold."
See, when she was little,
she talked a lot like Elmer Fudd.
Well, she's going to "wuv" it.
Yeah, I want it to be a real surprise.
-(voices approaching)
- Ooh.
Close it up.
-(door shuts)
- Oh, Lucy, I'm so glad you're here.
The most wonderful thing has happened.
They fixed your boat?
- No, Grandma.
- Lucy: No.
Aunt Audrey bought Mom
a wedding present.
Yeah, we were on our way home
from the supermarket
when we happened to see this
in a store window.
Audrey: A wedding gown.
Isn't that the most beautiful dress
in the world?
Yes, it is, Margo.
It's the most beautiful dress
in the world.
- Lucy-- Lucy--
- Yeah, well, never mind, Curtis.
Audrey...
Audrey, you've... done it again.
Oh, that Audrey.
I'd like to whip her egg whites.
Lu-- Lucy!
What do you want?!
What am I going to do?
I can't button this shirt.
It's Saturday night.
All the stores are closed.
I can't get another shirt
for the wedding tomorrow.
- Turn around to the light.
- What?
Turn...
Put your coat on.
There. Now, you keep the coat on,
no one will notice.
Button your shirt, and you'll have
air conditioning besides.
Lucy, the way your mind works scares me.
Thank you.
Mm, something smells
awfully good around here.
Oh, my. Can I help?
You're doing a wonderful job.
But don't you think you're putting
the roses a little too close together?
I mean, do you really think
that this one belongs here?
Yes, I do.
I don't know.
You sure it belongs there?
Well, possibly it belongs right there.
Lucy, I have this hunch
that something is bothering you.
You wanna know what's bothering me?
I'll tell you what's bothering me.
In grammar school, the day I finally
got an A on a spelling test,
you got the starring role
in the school play.
I played a petunia.
Yeah, but you were brilliant!
Let me get this straight.
This is for something that I did
in the third grade?
No.
That is for what you did
this past week.
What are you talking about?
All my life you've upstaged me, Audrey.
Here I was, the mother of the bride.
Margo and I were gonna plan
the whole thing together.
Then you showed up
and ruined everything.
I was only trying to help.
(mockingly)
"I was only trying to help."
You were trying to take over.
You always have to do everything
better than I do.
- Oh, that's ridiculous.
- No, it's not.
In high school, I was all excited
because I was going to play saxophone
in the Rose Parade.
Well, you did very well.
Well, thank you, but what did you do?
You ran right out and got yourself
chosen a rose princess.
So I rode on a float.
I got stuck marching behind
Cowboy Pistol Pete.
With his prancing palominos.
- So?
- So who do you think daddy
took all the pictures of?
You up on your float,
or me down on the street going like this?
Lucy, do you know what your problem is?
You're jealous.
Well, you are pushy and selfish.
Everything I do, you have to do better.
Oh, really?
Well, now I am going to do
something else better than you.
Not bad.
Excuse me.
- Cousin Florence.
- Little Teddy!
Ooh, I could just eat you up!
It's okay. It's okay.
Easy. Easy, Flo, easy. Easy.
Follow me,
and I'll show you your two seats.
Show you to your seats.
Seat! Seat.
There.
Hello, Reverend Hackett.
So nice of you to come.
- You look great, Mom.
- Oh, thank you, darling.
Thank you. Thank you.
(gasps) Cousin Florence.
Oh, I'm so glad you could come.
Oh, I'm so glad to see you.
Hello. Hello.
Okay, time to get a picture
of the two sisters together.
Come on.
Right over by the flowers would be great.
Okay.
Little-- Closer together.
Just a little bit closer together.
Together. Little closer.
Good. And big smiles.
Bigger.
You can do better than that.
Come on.
Oh, Leonard, take the stupid picture.
Okay, Mrs. B.
Lucy, we have to stop this nonsense.
Maybe I was wrong.
Maybe I was butting in.
Maybe?
Okay, I was.
A little.
Okay. Maybe I was overreacting.
A little.
Then we were both wrong.
Both: A little.
Audrey, you were right last night.
I have always been jealous of you.
Of course you wouldn't--
you just wouldn't even understand
about jealousy.
Lucy, I am the one
who is jealous of you.
- Me?
- That's right.
I mean, I have an interesting job,
and I do get to travel a lot,
but I have never
had a husband or a family.
And when I came here the other day,
something really hit home.
I'll never have a daughter to marry off.
Oh.
Oh, Audrey.
I'm so sorry.
Can you ever forgive me?
Oh, of course, I can.
Well, you're the only sister I've got.
Thank God.
(wedding march playing)
- Oh.
- She's coming.
- Yes.
- Here she comes.
There she is.
You're wearing my wedding gown.
It was Aunt Audrey's idea.
Curtis told me.
After all,
you are the mother of the bride.
- Oh...
- It's just as I remember it, Mom.
The most "bootiful dwess in the wold."
Oh, thank you, sweetheart.
Thank you.
Thank you, Audrey.
- You've always got a family right here.
- Oh.
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here to join this man
and this woman in holy matrimony.
- Who gives this woman?
- Kevin: I do!
This is fun.
Let's get married every year!
Come on, Becky. Kevin.
Do you, Ted, take Margo
to be thy wedded wife?
To have and to hold
from this day forward,
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health...
(music playing)
(theme music playing)
♪ Every day I'm better
than I ever was before ♪
♪ Every day I'm loving,
living more and more ♪
♪ Every day holds keys
to possibilities galore ♪
♪ Every day is better than before ♪
♪ How you feel depends on who you are ♪
♪ Who you are depends on what you do ♪
♪ What you do is mostly up to you ♪
♪ It's true ♪
I You can make a better you I
♪ Every day is a new world
that I'm eager to explore ♪
♪ Every day opportunity
knocks at my door ♪
♪ Every day I'm loving,
living more and more and more ♪
♪ And every day is better than ♪
♪ Keep on saying, "Yes, I can" ♪
♪ And every day is better than before ♪
Hey, I need somebody
to empty the garbage!
Would someone please come
and empty the dishwasher?
Guess not.
Okay. All right, dinner's ready.
Well, now I know what to yell
if I ever get mugged.
Pass the lima beans.
Mom, what's the big red circle
on the calendar for?
Oh, I don't want your father
to forget our wedding anniversary.
Oh, come on, Margo,
give me a little credit.
How could I forget that after nine years?
Ten years.
Ten years.
Seems like just yesterday
you two eloped.
You guys eloped?
- Ted: Yep.
- Uh-huh.
We were gonna have a regular wedding,
but, uh, things got out of hand.
She means I got out of hand.
Well, Mom, you wanted us
to get married in a cathedral
with a high mass by an archbishop.
So?
We're not even Catholic.
- I go to bingo.
- Oh.
Admit it, Lucille, you got carried away.
(laughs) She's my only daughter.
I always dreamed of giving her
a big wedding
Uh-huh.
Which is exactly why we eloped.
You see, kids, I think that getting
married is a commitment of love
between two people
that should be shared quietly
and without fanfare.
Yeah, and without
the mother of the bride.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
Ah, please, Lucille.
They've been married ten years,
and maybe it was no frills,
but you must admit it was effective.
Listen, did you kids ever hear
about your grandpa's wedding?
- Mm-mm.
- No.
Tell 'em, Grandpa.
Well, it was a wonderfully frugal affair.
My darling Josephine and I
went to City Hall on our lunch hour.
Luckily, Josephine was working
at a doughnut shop at the time.
So she was already dressed in white.
(laughter)
Yeah, and instead of rice,
the guests threw powdered sugar.
Laugh if you will.
Our entire wedding only cost $2.50.
Each.
I'd like to do something special
this anniversary.
You know, a lot of couples celebrate
by renewing their vows.
Yeah, they have a ceremony,
reception, and everything.
Oh, that would be so romantic,
wouldn't it, honey?
How about those Lakers, Dad?
Oh, come on, Ted.
Sometimes I feel like
I missed out on being a bride.
Just once I would like to be
the mother of the bride.
You know what we could do?
We could move the furniture
out of the living room
and have it right here at home.
Come on, Dad. It'll be neat.
Yeah, Dad.
I didn't go to your first wedding.
Thank goodness.
Margo and I
will take care of everything, Ted.
And, Curtis, you won't have to do
anything but pay for half.
Well, I'd be glad to.
Here's my 2.50.
- Please?
- Please?
Please?
- Okay.
- Yay!
- Good boy!
- But, please, keep it small.
- Okay.
- Wait till I tell the kids at school
my parents
are finally getting married!
I wouldn't put it exactly
that way, darling.
-(doorbell rings)
- No. Oh, don't get up.
The mother of the bride will get it.
(humming wedding march)
Audrey!
Lucy!
- Oh!
- Oh, am I glad to see you.
Oh, Lucy.
Oh, what a surprise.
My sister is here! My sister is here!
All: Audrey!
Aunt Audrey.
Audrey!
Hi. Oh, hi, sweetheart.
- Hi, Audrey.
- Lucy: What a surprise.
Oh, and there he is,
the cutest little hardware man
in Pasadena.
Oh-oh, go on.
There must be one cuter somewhere.
I'll get your bags, Aunt Audrey.
Oh, Lucy, I've missed you so.
It's so good to see you.
Oh, you bet.
What are you doing in town?
I thought you were working
on a cruise ship?
- I am, but the engine broke down.
- Oh.
So I am shipwrecked here for two weeks.
I'll bet Pasadena's a pretty boring place
to a world traveler like you.
Oh, Pasadena.
100,000 people, a dozen stories.
Well, you couldn't have picked
a better time to come.
Ted and I are celebrating
our tenth anniversary next week.
That's right.
We're gonna renew our vows.
- Yeah.
- Oh, congratulations, kids.
- Ted: Thanks.
- Margo's finally going to have
the wedding Lucy always dreamed of.
Yes, this is perfect, and I'm so thrilled
that you're going to be here.
Well, you know,
as the social director on the ship,
- I plan weddings all the time.
- Oh.
And I have some marvelous ideas.
Oh, well, thanks, Audrey,
but I've got some
pretty marvelous ideas of my own.
-(laughs)
- Oh.
Are you ready for this? Now, listen.
We fill the room with white daisies.
Mom, that sounds beautiful.
I love it. I love it.
But don't you think white tea roses
would add a touch of class?
Oh, well, we couldn't afford
white tea roses, Aunt Audrey.
Oh, darling. I know a vendor
in the flower market.
I can get them for you wholesale.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, I love tea roses.
I love wholesale.
Good, then it's settled.
Now, what about food?
Well, uh, I thought that we'd start
with hot hors d'oeuvre, you know,
maybe Swedish meatballs.
Oh, darling.
Nobody but nobody serves
Swedish meatballs anymore.
Oh. Not even the Swedes?
How about tiny tacos?
Ooh, I'd love tiny tacos.
Well, and speaking of food,
Aunt Audrey,
we just were sitting down to dinner.
Would you like to join us?
- Oh, I'd love to.
- Great.
- Oh, good. Let's go.
- Come on, kids.
You know, I thought we could release
some white doves. Just...
Trust me, Margo,
it'll be a day that you never forget.
Yeah. Doves are dirty birds.
I will turn this room
into a bower of flowers,
and music will play
and champagne corks will pop.
You just leave it to Audrey.
(laughs)
(mockingly)
"You just leave it to Audrey."
Audrey.
(telephone ringing)
Hello?
Doc Severinsen's agent?
Why should I care
that Doc doesn't play weddings
and bat mitzvahs?
Oh, ho, ho, ho, yeah,
well, same to you, buddy.
You tried to hire Doc Severinsen's band?
A wedding has to have music.
This was supposed to be a simple affair.
Who's going to perform the ceremony?
Johnny Carson?
Is he ordained?
Lucille, this wedding
is totally out of hand.
Oh, will you calm down?
I have everything under control.
Under control?
Look at this guest list.
Ron and Nancy Reagan?
Yeah, they won't come,
but can you imagine the gift they'll send?
Where are you going
to put all these people?
Right here on folding chairs.
- Oh, they'll never fit.
- Of course they will.
Your cousin Flo won't.
Good old "two chair" Flo.
She flows from one chair
onto the next.
Oh...
What do you want me to do?
Put a weight limit on the guest list?
No, just cut the list in two.
And cut it from your side
of the family.
I will not. No way.
I will not remove a single name
from this list.
You don't have to.
Margo already did.
She did?
Yeah, a couple of days ago.
She and Aunt Audrey went through the list
and cut it way down.
They did that without me?
Well, I don't think they wanted
to bother you at work.
Oh.
Well, did they invite my cousin Florence?
Oh, sure, they did.
'Course, that meant
they had to cut the Barker twins.
Well, let's see what else I have to do.
I have to order champagne.
No, Aunt Audrey already did that.
- Oh.
- Yeah, she got a great price, too.
She's dating some guy
who owns a winery up in the Napa Valley.
Hmm. Ernest, Julio, or both?
Oh, that's a good one, Mom.
Yeah. Boy, I don't know how we could have
done thing wedding without Aunt Audrey.
Ernest or Julio. (laughs)
Your sister Audrey is really something.
She's clever, effective, tasteful,
and a total buttinsky.
Yeah, well, thank you very much, Curtis.
The last thing I need to hear
is somebody else
singing the praises of my sister Audrey.
Did you say "buttinsky"?
With a capital "butt."
Oh, bless you, Curtis. Bless you.
Finally, someone understands how I feel.
All my life, I dreamed of planning
a wedding with my daughter,
and Audrey comes in
and takes over the whole thing.
Well, what are you going to do about it?
Well, I've got just one thing
that I think maybe
might be buttinsky-proof.
Ooh. You have piqued my interest.
- Now, this is a big secret.
- Oh.
My wedding gown.
- Why, it's beautiful.
- Yeah.
To save money, you see,
Margo's planning to wear her white suit,
and I'm going to offer my gown instead.
What a lovely gesture.
Yeah, when Margo was little,
she found my dress in the attic,
and she called it the most
"bootiful dwess in the wold."
See, when she was little,
she talked a lot like Elmer Fudd.
Well, she's going to "wuv" it.
Yeah, I want it to be a real surprise.
-(voices approaching)
- Ooh.
Close it up.
-(door shuts)
- Oh, Lucy, I'm so glad you're here.
The most wonderful thing has happened.
They fixed your boat?
- No, Grandma.
- Lucy: No.
Aunt Audrey bought Mom
a wedding present.
Yeah, we were on our way home
from the supermarket
when we happened to see this
in a store window.
Audrey: A wedding gown.
Isn't that the most beautiful dress
in the world?
Yes, it is, Margo.
It's the most beautiful dress
in the world.
- Lucy-- Lucy--
- Yeah, well, never mind, Curtis.
Audrey...
Audrey, you've... done it again.
Oh, that Audrey.
I'd like to whip her egg whites.
Lu-- Lucy!
What do you want?!
What am I going to do?
I can't button this shirt.
It's Saturday night.
All the stores are closed.
I can't get another shirt
for the wedding tomorrow.
- Turn around to the light.
- What?
Turn...
Put your coat on.
There. Now, you keep the coat on,
no one will notice.
Button your shirt, and you'll have
air conditioning besides.
Lucy, the way your mind works scares me.
Thank you.
Mm, something smells
awfully good around here.
Oh, my. Can I help?
You're doing a wonderful job.
But don't you think you're putting
the roses a little too close together?
I mean, do you really think
that this one belongs here?
Yes, I do.
I don't know.
You sure it belongs there?
Well, possibly it belongs right there.
Lucy, I have this hunch
that something is bothering you.
You wanna know what's bothering me?
I'll tell you what's bothering me.
In grammar school, the day I finally
got an A on a spelling test,
you got the starring role
in the school play.
I played a petunia.
Yeah, but you were brilliant!
Let me get this straight.
This is for something that I did
in the third grade?
No.
That is for what you did
this past week.
What are you talking about?
All my life you've upstaged me, Audrey.
Here I was, the mother of the bride.
Margo and I were gonna plan
the whole thing together.
Then you showed up
and ruined everything.
I was only trying to help.
(mockingly)
"I was only trying to help."
You were trying to take over.
You always have to do everything
better than I do.
- Oh, that's ridiculous.
- No, it's not.
In high school, I was all excited
because I was going to play saxophone
in the Rose Parade.
Well, you did very well.
Well, thank you, but what did you do?
You ran right out and got yourself
chosen a rose princess.
So I rode on a float.
I got stuck marching behind
Cowboy Pistol Pete.
With his prancing palominos.
- So?
- So who do you think daddy
took all the pictures of?
You up on your float,
or me down on the street going like this?
Lucy, do you know what your problem is?
You're jealous.
Well, you are pushy and selfish.
Everything I do, you have to do better.
Oh, really?
Well, now I am going to do
something else better than you.
Not bad.
Excuse me.
- Cousin Florence.
- Little Teddy!
Ooh, I could just eat you up!
It's okay. It's okay.
Easy. Easy, Flo, easy. Easy.
Follow me,
and I'll show you your two seats.
Show you to your seats.
Seat! Seat.
There.
Hello, Reverend Hackett.
So nice of you to come.
- You look great, Mom.
- Oh, thank you, darling.
Thank you. Thank you.
(gasps) Cousin Florence.
Oh, I'm so glad you could come.
Oh, I'm so glad to see you.
Hello. Hello.
Okay, time to get a picture
of the two sisters together.
Come on.
Right over by the flowers would be great.
Okay.
Little-- Closer together.
Just a little bit closer together.
Together. Little closer.
Good. And big smiles.
Bigger.
You can do better than that.
Come on.
Oh, Leonard, take the stupid picture.
Okay, Mrs. B.
Lucy, we have to stop this nonsense.
Maybe I was wrong.
Maybe I was butting in.
Maybe?
Okay, I was.
A little.
Okay. Maybe I was overreacting.
A little.
Then we were both wrong.
Both: A little.
Audrey, you were right last night.
I have always been jealous of you.
Of course you wouldn't--
you just wouldn't even understand
about jealousy.
Lucy, I am the one
who is jealous of you.
- Me?
- That's right.
I mean, I have an interesting job,
and I do get to travel a lot,
but I have never
had a husband or a family.
And when I came here the other day,
something really hit home.
I'll never have a daughter to marry off.
Oh.
Oh, Audrey.
I'm so sorry.
Can you ever forgive me?
Oh, of course, I can.
Well, you're the only sister I've got.
Thank God.
(wedding march playing)
- Oh.
- She's coming.
- Yes.
- Here she comes.
There she is.
You're wearing my wedding gown.
It was Aunt Audrey's idea.
Curtis told me.
After all,
you are the mother of the bride.
- Oh...
- It's just as I remember it, Mom.
The most "bootiful dwess in the wold."
Oh, thank you, sweetheart.
Thank you.
Thank you, Audrey.
- You've always got a family right here.
- Oh.
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here to join this man
and this woman in holy matrimony.
- Who gives this woman?
- Kevin: I do!
This is fun.
Let's get married every year!
Come on, Becky. Kevin.
Do you, Ted, take Margo
to be thy wedded wife?
To have and to hold
from this day forward,
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health...
(music playing)
(theme music playing)